Giofógach
by ltlerthqak
Summary: I didn't know anything was missing from my life until I met him at the carnival. Were my gypsy lifestyle and unbelievable gift too much for him to accept? And was there something bigger we should have been watching for? AH
1. Wildflowers & Hope

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

.

Wildflowers and clouds. Hope and sweetness. The scents on the air floated through my open window and lured me tenderly from sleep. A gentle hum vibrated against my body, like delicate fingers gliding over my skin. Each individual sensation converged and brought to mind a single perception of the day – fresh.

Today would bring something new.

I rolled to face the sunlight streaming in. The dust particles danced happily in the breeze and entertained me for a moment as I smiled to myself. Definitely something new. From the feeling of anticipation in the air, I guessed it would be something enjoyable.

I did not remember ever having felt this charged and full of life. I sat up and stretched, then slipped out of bed and headed to the tiny bathroom.

My Jayco travel trailer was cozy with enough space for just me. A bedroom, a small bath with a shower stall, a kitchenette and a sitting area - it's really just about perfect. My mom, Renee, and her husband, Phil, owned a larger mobile home, which they parked right next to mine whenever we set up the camp. I preferred the increased flexibility of a separate truck and trailer to an all-in-one. When I turned seventeen, I bought the used apartment on wheels and the truck to pull it, ensuring my independence for the first time. It got lonely sometimes, especially late at night, but living alone was better than staying with Renee and Phil. Those two have no self-control! I suffered through four years of overhearing their sexual exploits every night - a little loneliness was definitely a price worth paying.

Renee became a wanderer after she had me. My dad, Charlie, grew up in the same rainy little town in Washington as Renee. They were high school sweethearts, engaged at eighteen, and right after graduation Renee found out she was pregnant with me. It wasn't ideal, but the two of them were happy together. Unfortunately, Charlie died a month after I was born when a drunk driver hit him as he was walking to the post office in town. Renee stayed for the funeral, then packed us up and headed south to warmer weather. Over the years, we had lived in too many cities to count, but Renee always stayed where it was warm and sunny.

When I was thirteen, we lived in Phoenix, Arizona. A few months after we moved in, the church at the end of our block hosted a small carnival. Renee and I were thrilled – three full days of rides and fair food! I woke up on opening morning to the scent of roses, cut grass, bliss and a warm, musky scent I couldn't identify. We were some of the first people through the gates that day and spent all afternoon playing games, riding rides and eating junk food together. When Renee led me over to the Roll-A-Ball game, I noticed the scent again – warm, earthy, with a slight sweetness - like clover honey sitting in the sun. Renee was laughing brightly, money in hand, when the game attendant turned and looked at her.

That was the instant I first felt the physical pull of fíorghrá, or true love. The draw between the two was so intense it took my breath away. Renee stopped dead in her tracks, staring, mouth slightly open in an "oh" of surprise. The attendant, named Phil, mirrored her expression. I was completely unaware of the world around us. All I knew was that warm smell and the delicious pull of two halves coming together as one.

When Renee moved to hand Phil the fee to play a round, his fingers brushed against hers. They each gasped at the contact. At that moment, the noise of the crowds returned, and the gravity between them released me with a sickening jolt.

From the moment of that first touch, Renee and Phil were inseparable and completely enamored with each other. When the carnival moved on to the next town Tuesday morning, we packed up our few possessions and moved with them. That was seven years ago, and we have traveled the country with this rag-tag group of people ever since. Living on the road with a traveling carnival may not be easy, but I had grown to love the lifestyle of a gypsy.

The sounds of people moving about outside my trailer forced my mind back to the present. When my teeth were sparkling and my face was clean, I threw my wavy hair into a messy twist and surveyed myself in the mirror. Long brown hair with a few well placed purple streaks, big brown eyes, pale skin, pink lips – nothing different today from any other day, yet somehow I felt more attractive than yesterday. It was as if there was a sensual energy around me, and I really liked the sensation. With an extra sway in my walk, I headed back into my bedroom to find some clothes. Hope and anticipation today – that felt orange to me. Five minutes later, I walked out the door in my jean shorts, flip-flops and a bright orange tank top with the word "INCONCEIVABLE" printed across my chest.

On this beautiful June day, we were working in Trion, Georgia: population 2001. The town hired the carnival group we co-op with, Eclipse Entertainment, to celebrate its Denim Festival. This afternoon, the local marching band was scheduled to lead a parade of residents down Main Street and into the carnival grounds where we had set up our rides, games and entertainment tents. These small towns were my favorite - people tended to be more excited about the event because there is so little to do on a regular day, and the gossip I overheard was priceless!

Renee and Phil didn't really need my help for setup of the Roll-A-Ball game or our other attraction, the Water Race, so I took my time. Renee and I bought the Water Race attraction from the same person who sold me my trailer and truck. He had met his own fíorghrá and was giving up his carnie ways to settle down with her. I often wondered if their love was enough to calm his wanderlust, or if he still got the itch to move on every now and again. The urge to stay in motion was a strong one. I had a hard time believing someone used to the gypsy lifestyle could give it up forever and be truly happy. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and, ignoring the odor of diesel fuel, headed straight for the midway.

I acknowledged the other carnies with a nod or a smile as I walked. We're a close-knit group, spending eight months out of the year traveling across the country together. Members had their disagreements, of course, but we all worked together. A successful carnival season was good for everyone, so cooperating and supporting each other was a necessity.

Suddenly I felt a strong surge of energy to my right and smelled the scent of spice and citrus on the wind – Alice! Alice Brandon was my best friend. At just five feet tall, she was a tiny wisp of a girl, but her natural exuberance and zest for life made her seem ten foot tall at times. With hazel eyes and waist-length black hair, she was like a living, breathing China doll, and her fun-loving personality kept her as one of the favorite daughters of the carnies.

Alice worked for her mother, Madam Esmeralda. Esme, as the family called her, owned and ran the fortuneteller tent. Both had a strong gift of precognition, which made their tent one of the most popular attractions in the carnival. Esme was the first person ever to understand my connection with the scents and energy of the air around me. Renee had listened to me as I explained how my perceptions seemed to be a precursor to events of my day, but she never truly believed. Esme knew from the moment she met me that I was different - clairvoyant - and she supported me every step of the way as I explored this talent.

"Isabella Marie Swan, where have you been hiding yourself all morning? Don't you know what today is?" yelled Alice as she jogged lightly over from the fortuneteller's tent. The beautiful green peasant blouse and long, white broomstick skirt she was wearing made her look like she was floating across the ground. An image of Alice with angel wings and a crooked halo popped into my mind, and I snorted in laughter. The little sprite was far from "angelic".

"And a good morning to you, too, Alice," I replied with a smile on my face. Alice hugged me in greeting as we continued walking toward the midway, holding hands like we had done everyday for the past seven years.

"Sorry, Bella, I'm just so excited," she exclaimed. "Esme spoke to my cousin about an hour ago, and he's already in Indianapolis. He should be here late this afternoon!" I couldn't help but smile at my best friend, caught up in her excitement. The arrival of her only cousin had her lit up like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Aha, I thought I felt something new on the air today. So how long will he be staying with you?" I asked.

"He's planning on staying for the summer," she replied. "Mom got him a job playing the piano for Tanya and Irina's magical act, and Kate may use him occasionally as well with her sleight of hand displays. He'll probably leave in August to go back to Chicago, though nothing's set in stone as far as I know. Which reminds me…have you decided what you're going to do now that you have your degree?" Her expression dulled a bit as she questioned me. I had been considering pursuing a Master's degree since I received my Bachelor's in anthropology this past March. Alice still had a handful of credits to earn from the same online school I attended before she completed her Bachelor's degree in marketing.

"Not yet. It's too late to make any decisions for this fall anyway," I replied, as I shrugged my shoulders. "If I decide to go to graduate school, I'll have to wait until next year. However, I can't imagine heading back into an actual classroom. Between having your mom home-school us through high school and getting my Bachelor's degree online, the concept of _g__oing_ to school is completely foreign to me."

Just the thought of being in a room full of non-carnies made my stomach twist, though I didn't want to admit this to Alice. I changed the subject quickly hoping she didn't notice how nervous the conversation made me.

"What about you?" I asked. "How many more classes do you need?"

"Just three more classes and that degree is all mine," she exclaimed. "I should be able to get them all completed before our birthday trip in September."

"What's the rush?" I asked. "Are you afraid all the alcohol you plan to consume for our twenty-first birthdays will kill too many brain cells or something?" I bumped her shoulder with mine and smiled at her as she bumped me back. Our birthday trips were something we began when we turned eighteen. We were born two days apart, and a girls' weekend away was the perfect way to celebrate together. Every year we picked somewhere new to visit and spent a couple of days away from the carnival.

"Nah, I know you won't drink with me, so I probably won't get too crazy," she replied, as her eyes met mine. "I just want to make sure I have no commitments in case I meet the man of my dreams while we're in Dallas." She grinned widely as I laughed at her ridiculous reasoning.

"Well good luck with that," I said, still laughing. "Now, tell me all about your cousin…what's he like?"

Alice practically jumped at the chance to fill me in on the details of her cousin, Edward Masen. Apparently, he graduated from Northwestern recently with a degree in Music Theory and Composition. He had decided to travel with the Brandons for the summer, as he never had the opportunity in the past. He and Alice didn't get to spend a lot of time together. Alice always traveled with the carnival while Edward grew up in Chicago with his father, Edward Sr., and his mother, Esme's sister, Elizabeth. I had never met Edward, so I looked forward to his arrival. If he were anything like his aunt and cousin, we would get along just fine.

"Where are you working today, Bella?" she asked. "As soon as he gets here I'll bring him over to meet you. The three of us can grab an early dinner before the evening rush."

I caught her smirking a bit, like she knew something I didn't, but I chose to ignore it. That smirk graced her face more often than not as her abilities had become stronger.

"I think Phil has me running the Water Race game today," I replied. "I'll check with Renee and make sure she can cover for me. Otherwise, I'll just meet up with you around closing."

"Fab!" she exclaimed. "I have to go find Emmett. Mom has a feeling about the carousel today and wants him to inspect it again before the gates open. I'll see you later, Bella!" With that, Alice floated off in search of our resident mechanic, Emmett McCarty. Her skirt trailed behind her through the dirt and I giggled – only Alice would wear a long white skirt at the carnival grounds.

As I reached the midway and approached the Roll-A-Ball booth, the air around me shifted. I felt an electric pulsation hovering nearby and smelled warm honey and that earthy scent I had come to know over the years. It was the smell of sex, arousal and lust. Renee and Phil were apparently enjoying some time alone in the back of the booth.

I slowed my steps so as not to interrupt. I understood exactly what Renee and Phil were up to, but I definitely didn't want to see them. A few minutes later, I heard Renee giggle and murmur something to Phil as the air shifted again. The electricity still pulsed, though not as vigorously as before, and the fragrance on the wind changed to that of sunshine, freedom and fresh cut grass – the scents I had come to identify as Renee and Phil together.

"Hey Mom, are you here?" I tried to keep the smirk out of my voice but doubted my success. Living with those two for four years taught me more about sex and love than any other experience could have. It also didn't help that my gift made me aware of the sexual exploits of others in our temporary camps – sex was something I had grown very comfortable with, in concept. My actual experience up to this point was relatively minor, though. It's not that I had any high ideals about waiting for marriage – I was no virgin – I just understood the difference between love and lust and never confused one for the other. Having seen and felt the amazing connection between pairs of fíorghrás, I refused to settle for less in terms of love. I had, in the past, given into my hormones and spent a night or two with someone, but I knew those moments were all about lust, nothing more.

"Yeah baby, we're back here," Renee replied, still giggling quietly.

I counted to ten before I walked to the back of the booth and moved the curtain aside to reveal Phil and Renee in all their disheveled, post-coital bliss.

"Hi guys, what have you two been up to?" I asked, as Phil ran his hand up my mom's arm. She looked up at him and giggled again. _They were like a pair of horny teenagers sometimes, I swear._

"Mmmm, just taking a breather after getting the booths set up. Did you sleep well last night?" Poor Renee couldn't even tear her eyes away from Phil for a split second as she said this. I smiled gently as the bouquets of love swirling around the couple surrounded me.

"Yeah Mom, I slept great," I said, as I leaned against a stack of boxes. "I woke up to clouds and hope - Alice's cousin is arriving today, and the air is buzzing with anticipation."

That got Renee's attention – she was a lover of all things new. As she turned to look at me, I noticed a small hickey on the side of her neck near her ear, and my smile widened.

"Really? I haven't met any of Esme's family other than Alice. I wonder if he takes after them at all. Alice and Esme are both so striking, a young man with looks like theirs may be more than my little girl can resist," she replied cheekily, winking at me as she leaned into Phil.

I snorted at her and kept grinning, my eyes fixated on the small purple mark.

"Sure thing, I'll be overwhelmed by his good looks and just fall prey to all of his lascivious schemes. Sweet, innocent Bella will have no chance against the raw animal magnetism I'm sure he exudes," I replied sarcastically. "Nice hickey, by the way."

I couldn't hold back my laughter anymore as Renee and Phil both blushed and smiled at each other. The bright, floral smell of happiness hit me as I headed over to finish setting up the Water Race booth. Today was a really good day.

**xXxXx**

Six hours later and I was in desperate need of a break. The temperature had climbed into the nineties, and there was no breeze blowing through my area. It seemed like the entire town was milling about the midway. The Water Race booth had been exceptionally busy all day, and I was tired, sweaty and out of patience. I sent a quick text to Renee to ask her to cover for me. As soon as she entered the booth, I headed toward the nearest exit.

Walking through a crowd was always an unsettling experience for me. Each person had a scent identifying them – usually a mix of relatively common scents, though certain tones in the fragrance made it unique to the owner. Renee had always smelled like sunshine and freedom to me – warm, slightly energized and bright. I had met others whose essences contained the same basic sunshine smell, though none of their scents were exactly the same as Renee's. In a crowd, these individual scents converged and it became difficult to differentiate one from another. This always made me feel slightly nervous.

Once I reached the parking lot, I walked toward the open field just beyond the cars, hoping to catch a breeze to help clear my head. I suddenly stopped halfway across the lot, captivated by a scent that almost knocked me to my knees. It was sweet - with a depth similar to caramel, a hint of rain and just a slight whisper of vanilla. I felt my stomach clench and my body lock in place as the aroma encompassed me.

There were no thoughts, no sounds – just a feeling of completeness I had never experienced before. I stood for seconds, minutes, hours…it could have been a lifetime for all I knew as time ceased to exist. At some point I realized the scent was dwindling, and I began turning in a circle trying to locate the person with such an amazing essence. I stumbled in and out of the rows, back and forth through the lot, trying to pinpoint the glorious aroma. Unfortunately, whoever tempted me so had long since disappeared.

Feeling more disappointed than ever before, I slowly walked back to the Water Race booth. My heart was heavy and it felt like there was a knot in my stomach. Why did the smell affect me so strongly? Who was it? Would I be able to find them again? Renee seemed to notice the change in my attitude as I took over for her in between rounds.

"Baby, are you alright?" she asked, and placed her small hand on my forearm as she looked at me with motherly concern.

"Yeah Mom, I'm fine. I just…it's been a weird day," I grumbled with a sigh.

"Are you sure?" she asked. "You look like someone just told you the purple dye for your hair is being discontinued or something." She laughed at me as I rolled my eyes. She loved to pick on me about my hair.

"I just," I looked around at the patrons before I leaned closer to her, "I caught a scent in the parking lot. It intrigued me." I shifted away from her and looked her in the eyes, willing her to understand.

"Intrigued you?" she asked as she raised her eyebrows at me.

"Yes, intrigued me. Like, I wanted to fall to my knees and follow the scent like a dog in heat kind of intrigued," I answered quietly. She gave me a knowing look and her eyes lit up, as she looked me up and down once.

"I do believe your weekend is about to get a lot more interesting, baby girl," she declared cryptically. With that, she gave me a quick hug and headed out the back of the booth to return to the Roll-A-Ball game and Phil. Her behavior only added to my confusion, and I went back to work without my usual smile in place.

About two hours later I received a text from Alice, letting me know her cousin was with her, and they were headed to the pavilion for dinner. I still felt confused and a little upset from my earlier experience in the parking lot, plus the midway was really busy, so I decided to work straight through closing instead of taking a dinner break. I replied, telling her to go ahead without me and that I would meet up with them later in the evening.

An hour before the carnival closed, Renee came back to the booth to relieve me.

"Where are you headed to tonight?" she asked as she moved to acknowledge the patrons at the counter.

"I'm just going to track down Alice and her cousin," I said. "You and Phil have any big plans for tonight?"

"Not really. Tomorrow's going to be a long day, and this heat makes him grumpy. We'll probably just head back to the camp and go to bed," she replied as she moved away from me to collect the money for the next round.

"Hmmm," I hummed, not really paying attention to her as I grabbed my things and got ready to leave. "I will probably turn in early myself. I want to go for a run in the morning and need to get some sleep." Renee laughed, and I looked up to see her walking toward me, smiling devilishly.

"I said we would be headed to bed, I never said anything about sleep." She winked at me as I laughed at her innuendo.

"Nice, Mom," I said, as I walked out the back of the booth. I heard Renee's laughter over the noise of the crowd as I walked away, headed to the fortuneteller tent to find Alice. I hadn't walked more than fifty yards down the midway when the scent of mist and mischief enveloped me. That scent meant only one person – Emmett McCarty.

Emmett was one of my favorite carnies - the only thing about him larger than his body builder frame was his boisterous personality. With dark, curly hair, blue eyes and killer dimples, he was an absolute heartbreaker, though his kind nature was truly his most outstanding characteristic. His parents died when he was a little kid, and the Newton family, who own Eclipse Entertainment, ended up adopting him shortly thereafter. He and his brother, Mike, both worked for the carnival and grew up with Alice and some of the other carnie kids.

"Belle of the Ball," he hollered. "What's got you looking so serious tonight?" Damn that boy was loud; I think the entire crowd turned to look when he yelled like that.

I blushed slightly from the attention of the patrons and turned to find Emmett bounding toward me like a golden retriever after a Frisbee. I smiled widely at him and squealed as he picked me up in a big bear hug and spun me around.

"Put me down, you big oaf," I laughed.

"Aw, c'mon Bell, you know you love my physicality," he replied with a cheesy grin, as he set me carefully back on solid ground.

"That's a big word for a man such as you. Have you been reading your Word-A-Day toilet paper again?" I teased him, as we stood in the midway together.

"Damn straight little one. Now stop avoiding my question – what's up with you? I don't think I've seen you without a smile on your face since my brother grabbed your ass at that roadside park in Tennessee last month. Do my fists need to get up close and personal with a patron or something?" Emmett asked, as he threw a punch at the empty space in front of us.

"Nothing like that, really. I just had an odd experience earlier, and I'm trying to work it out in my head," I admitted. "How are things going for you tonight? Did you get everything worked out with the carousel?"

We strolled casually toward the front of the carnival grounds, pausing occasionally to let people pass us by as they headed toward the back of the midway.

"Shit, that was one scary moment. As much as I don't like to take any of these freaky ass gifts too seriously, no offense, there are times like earlier today when I have to wonder. I mean, Mike helped the guys get the carousel up and did all of the safety-checks himself. I even went behind him and double-checked on my final rounds. When Alice told me Esme saw something going wrong, I didn't think anything of it at first, but it kept eating at me, you know? Right before the band made it to the gates, I decided to give it one final test run, and sure as shit, on the second time around one of the inner horse's u-bolts came loose. Someone could have been hurt. I just can't believe I almost ignored her warning," he said, as he shook his head slightly.

"Guess you learned to never bet against the Brandon women, huh?" I asked with a small smile, trying to lighten his mood just a bit.

Emmett threw his arm around my shoulders and yanked me into his side. "Yeah, yeah, never bet against the Brandon women and never ask you to name that smell. Jesus, you people keep things interesting around here." Emmett grinned down at me before releasing his hold. "I need to get to the pavilion to help Mikey. Where are you headed?" he asked.

"I'm going to see if Alice is at Esme's tent. If not I'll head over to the pavilion," I replied.

"If I see her, I'll tell her you're looking for her. See ya later, Bell!" he exclaimed as he waved a little and walked away from me. I smiled, looking at the ground, and began walking the rest of the way to Esme's tent.

When I reached the tent, I entered through the back curtain and took a deep breath as the familiar scent of Esme enveloped me. It was like the smell of fresh baked bread; hearty and making you feel at home. I heard Esme in the side room with a client, but Alice was not there. I exited quietly so as not to disturb Esme's reading and headed toward the far side of the grounds.

The pavilion, also known as the food court, was a simple concept. We grouped most of the food vendors in one area and set up a bunch of picnic tables nearby for people to congregate. Last year, we added a small stage to the area. Eclipse hired local performers to entertain the patrons as they ate, making it the perfect place to hang out and just enjoy the day.

I made it to the pavilion just as Mr. Newton announced over the sound system that the carnival was closing. Patrons headed toward the gates in a wave of bodies and giant stuffed animals. Little kids either cried over having to leave or raced around in circles due to a sugar buzz. I didn't envy those parents one bit…cotton candy, caramel apples and extra large lollipops did _not_ make for easy bedtimes.

"Bella!" I suddenly heard Alice shout from up ahead. I trained my eyes in the direction of her voice, trying to find her, but the mass of humanity heading past me blocked my view. I picked my way carefully through the crowd and eventually made it to the edge of the stage. I had hopped up on a bench and stretched onto my toes, trying to see above the crowd, when I heard her again.

"Bella, over here!" she shouted from my left.

I turned and spotted my little friend bouncing up and down on a picnic table at the opposite side of the pavilion from where I stood. I could tell someone was with her at the table, but there wasn't enough light to make out anything more than a human shape in the dark.

I stepped off the bench and began weaving my way across the pavilion. The ground was littered with food wrappers, plastic cups and various other items left behind by patrons, all of which slowed me down.

If there was one thing I would remember about that night, it was the tranquility that surrounded me. Time slowed down as I reached my destination, and there was suddenly no movement in the air. The man at the table turned to greet me. When his eyes met mine the world stood completely still. No breeze, no sound from Alice's jumping, no laughter from the passing patrons…just stillness.

He rose slowly from the table while staring at me with a shocked expression on his face. I felt this undeniable pull toward him, as if nothing else mattered but bringing our bodies together. He must have felt the same tug because we both took a step forward, my measured movements a mirror image to his. My foot landed on something unsteady, and I stumbled slightly forward. The man's hand grabbed my upper arm to steady me, and we both gasped.

As we made contact for the first time, I was inundated by a kaleidoscope of sensation. It was as if the sky exploded into pink and purple sparkles. The scent of warm caramel and rain surrounded me to such an extent that my mouth watered from the taste of it in the air. An electric current ran up and down my body and the only sound was the beating of my own heart as it tried to pound its way out of my chest. I stopped moving and allowed my senses to deal with the overwhelming stimulation encircling me.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his voice low and sultry.

"Mmhmm," I hummed, still unable to stop staring at this stunning man. Good God! He was beautiful – tall and lean with a mop of wavy brown hair and pale skin. It was too dark to see many details, but I could tell he had a strong jaw and high cheekbones. I really wished the pavilion lights were brighter so I could see what color his eyes were.

He tugged lightly on my arm, bringing me further into him. The electricity between us swelled and pulsed as our bodies came to a stop mere centimeters from each other. The scents of wildflowers and warm honey embraced me completely and sent my body into a frenzy of want and need.

My eyes darted to his full lips, and I licked my own, running my tongue from one side to the other as his eyes tracked the movement like a predator stalking their prey. We stood just millimeters apart, our bodies leaning toward each other. My eyelids grew heavy as my eyes stayed focused on those plump, pink…

"I KNEW IT!"

I jumped back as Alice's shriek broke through the bubble of calm surrounding me. The sudden onslaught of noise hit me like a physical blow and caused me to cringe as I continued to gaze in wonder at the man in front of me. He removed his hand from my arm, and I immediately missed the warmth of his touch.

I moved to watch Alice, who was dancing and smirking, while I tried to recover some semblance of composure. I guessed by the look on her face, as well as her happy dance, that she'd had a vision of what would happen when he and I met, but had chosen not to tell me. This was cause for serious retribution, and I made a mental note to begin planning my revenge…once I regained the ability to think clearly.

I turned to face the man, who also appeared to be in a bit of shock. Here he was - my fíorghrá - standing in front of me for the first time. The enormity of this knowledge temporarily confounded me. I froze as I tried to think through what I should do next. He ran his hand through his hair and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He heaved a sigh, and when his minty breath washed over me, I snapped out of my stupor instantly.

"Hi, I'm Bella Swan," I whispered, feeling shy and slightly vulnerable. "It's really nice to meet you." I held my hand out for him to shake and took a step closer. I felt the electricity between us begin to pulse once more.

"I'm Edward Masen. And it's, uh, really nice to meet you, too," he replied quietly. He took my hand and held it between his larger ones. The electricity surrounding us increased tenfold as our skin once again made contact, and I gasped at the sensation.

Wildflowers and clouds. Hope and sweetness. Oh yes, the day had definitely brought me something new.

.

.

.

* * *

A couple of translations:

**Giofógach** translates to** gypsy** and is pronounced giih-foe-gahck (modern Irish would be **Giofóg**)

**Fíorghrá** translates to **true love** and is pronounced feer-guhraw


	2. Cotton Candy & Light

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

.

Cotton candy, joy and light. I took notice of the gleeful energy in the air, but didn't spend time analyzing it. Instead, I jumped out of bed and rushed to turn off my alarm. Saturday was always the longest day of any carnival, and today would be no different.

Though the sun had technically risen, the light outside was barely filtering over the surrounding hillsides. It was still relatively cool this early in the morning. I planned to take advantage of that fact and get a long run in before I had to head over to the grounds for work. I needed to check the gray water supply and restock the booth before the gates opened at eleven.

I brushed my hair quickly and clipped it into my customary twist as I rushed to find clothing. Once I was dressed in my favorite running outfit - black stretchy shorts, bright yellow tank, Nike shocks and an iPod armband - I selected my _Run for the Hills_ playlist and began stretching my legs and back.

_Fanfare for the Common Man_ flowed through my earbuds. I breathed in deeply and worked through my regular warm-up ritual, stretching and pulling my limbs in preparation. Running and pushing my body to its limits relaxed me. It allowed me to pull my senses inward instead of focusing on all of the external stimulation I dealt with when I interacted with people.

As the song switched to _El Salón México_, I exited the trailer and ran slowly between the other vehicles. I headed for a small road about a quarter mile down the main highway that seemed to lead into the hills to the east. The idea of running up and down hills, pushing my legs harder than I could on level ground, made me excited for a challenge. I picked up my pace.

I kept the volume on my iPod low as I ran down the shoulder of the highway, wanting to hear any oncoming traffic to be safe. As I reached the dirt road, I turned the volume up. I increased my pace once more, freeing my mind to float from thought to thought as I gave myself over to the purely physical act of putting one foot in front of the other. My heart pumped and my breathing sped as I pushed myself harder up the incline. _A Lincoln Portrait_ began to play in my ears, and my relatively empty mind suddenly focused on one thing…Edward. My fíorghrá. Just thinking his name brought a smile to my lips, and the memories of the previous evening filled my mind.

_He tried to act casual, making small talk with Alice and me, but I could tell he was a bit nervous. He kept bouncing his leg and tapping his fingers on the tabletop. The three of us talked at length, laughing and joking easily with each other. We didn't really touch on anything personal other than the absolute basics. Instead, we spent most of our time swapping stories of our adventures with a younger Alice. Edward's stories of her as a child kept me in stitches. I made sure he knew all about the misadventures of her teenage years._

_It was well past midnight when Edward finally excused himself to go to bed, his early morning and long drive wearing on him. He lightly rubbed his finger in an arc on the back of my hand and whispered, "Good night, Bella," before he strolled away in the direction of the camp. Alice had me pinned before he was halfway across the pavilion._

"_S__o Bella, how do you feel about my cousin?" she asked. Her face twitched as she tried not to smile at me. I narrowed my eyes and gave her a defiant stare._

"_I'm guessing you already know my answer to that question. How about you share whatever visions you've__had about us, you evil little gnome."_

_Alice snorted and laughed, loudly. "You can try to glare at me all you want, my dear, but you can't fool me," she said. "I see that smile trying to break through. You and I both know he's your fíorghrá. Now tell me, how do you feel about my cousin, Bella?"_

_I tried to hold my glare, I really did, but my heart was positively singing at just the thought of Edward. The joy broke me._

"_Alice, it's like…he's a piece of me that I didn't even realize was missing," I replied wit__h a sigh. "I've been making my way through life, happily living day to day, thinking everything was as it should be. But now? Now there's this extra sensation in my chest that was never there before – taking up space – but it feels right. It makes me whole__, even though I never knew I wasn't whole in the first place._

"_The moment when I saw him __–__ there was no noise, no outside motion. It felt like the world could end right then and I wouldn't even notice. Then when we touched, oh God, it was as if someone tur__ned the volume up full blast. The noises, the activity – yet I was still so focused on him that everything else was like static. It was like nothing and everything all at once. And there was this incredible pull toward him, like a string tied around my hea__rt. It's like we're attached somehow, some invisible force holding us together, like-"_

"_Gravity," we said in unison. Alice held my gaze for a minute, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. She then smiled softly, leaning back on the table and looking at the st__ars above. After a moment, she began speaking again._

"_I had the first vision of the two of you three weeks ago, right after he called my mom to tell her he was coming for the summer. I told Mom what I saw…what I knew you would mean to each other. She made __me swear not to tell you. She was afraid if you knew__,__ it would change the course of fate somehow. It hasn't been easy keeping something so monumental from you, but I didn't want to be the reason you two missed each other. I've had a few flashes since then, __nothing too distinct, just enough to know things between you both will progress…in the way that they must." She whispered the last few words__,__ and I thought I detected a touch of sadness in her voice. As much as this concerned me, I knew there was no use pus__hing her to explain further. Neither of us spoke as I took some time to digest what she told me._

"_Thank you, Alice, for telling me now and not then,"__ I said finally as I reached out to grab her hand._

_We sat quietly under the clear Georgia night sky for several minutes before either of us spoke again._

"_Alice," I questioned__.__ "__W__hat do I do now?" My voice was small, quiet, as I asked aloud the one question__ that would not stop running through my head._

"_Follow your heart, Bella," she said, with a wistfulness in her voice that made my heart ache for her. I wasn't the only one that had experienced loneliness in this life. "He knows about the concept of fíorghrá__s. My Aunt Elizabeth loves to tell the story of when she and my Uncle Edward met. Plus, he understands a bit about people with gifts like ours__,__ because his mom has 'the sight'. I'm sure he felt the same pull as you did. Hell, I'd bet dollars to donuts he's __on the phone with Aunt Elizabeth right now, telling her about you." She laughed at this__,__ and I couldn't help but smile in return._

"_Just take your time,"__ she whispered. "I know you're' true loves' or 'soul mates' or 'red threads' or, as Mom says, 'fíorghrás__.'__ Whatever term you choose__,__ it all boils down to the same truth – you two are meant to be together. That doesn't mean you have to run off and marry him __right now." I could practically hear her eyes roll as I scoffed at this._

"_Get to know each other," she said. "Edward's had a really rough couple of years, and there are some things he'll have to tell you about it all. Just listen and learn…then throw him d__own and give him the ride of his life."_

_My eyes snapped to hers as she jumped up and ran away from the table, laughing all the way through the carnival grounds. I chuckled at her flippant comment but stayed seated, looking back to the stars overhead._

Listen and learn repeated in my head as I reached an overlook that provided a beautiful view of the little town below. The sun was finally beaming onto the fairgrounds, and I could see the carnies moving about, each starting the day in their own way. The scene was heartening, and I kind of felt as if I wanted to hug the whole world this morning…as ridiculous as that sounded. I giggled to myself, then turned and headed back down the hill, anxious to get to work.

As I ran into the camp, I slowed my pace to a little more than a jog and turned off my music. By the time I reached my trailer I had slowed to a walk. I took a few minutes to stretch so my legs wouldn't stiffen up during the day. I was bent at the waist, with my legs spread apart and my cheek almost touching my left shin, when I caught the scent of caramel and rain. The combination almost sent me tumbling face first to the ground.

"Morning, Bella. I didn't know you were a runner," Edward said from behind me. I peeked around my left leg as I finished stretching and gave him an upside down smile. Holding my position a little longer, I watched him covertly. His eyes were definitely not on my face, though whether they were on my ass or just some random spot on the ground near me was too hard to determine from this angle.

"Good morning to you, too, Edward. What's got you up and about so early?" I asked, straightening and turning to face him. I moved my arms to clasp my hands behind me, arching my back as I pulled my shoulders down. Edward's eyes followed my movements, and I almost giggled as his mouth dropped open just a little. This sports bra pushed my breasts up and in and gave me great cleavage. By the way Edward's eyes were locked on my chest, I was pretty sure he noticed that. When he didn't reply to my question after a few seconds I stopped stretching and tried again.

"Edward," I said, and his eyes moved to meet mine. "I asked, what's got you up and about so early?" I smiled broadly at him, hoping he wouldn't feel too uncomfortable for getting caught checking me out. I really didn't mind in the least.

"Oh, uh…" His eyes darted down to my breasts and then back to my face. He brought his hand up to rub the back of his neck as he said, "I was just walking around the lot. I wanted to get a lay of the land before the carnival opens for the day."

I watched his eyes scan the area around us. I wondered what this must look like to him – a hodgepodge of trailers, campers, motor homes and trucks, some showing their age, others obviously new and shining, with various pieces of lawn furniture littered throughout. It's rare that outsiders ended up in this area. I couldn't really remember a time when I worried about what these sights made people think of us. I was attempting to see this scene through Edward's eyes when he turned and smiled at me again.

"Is this your camper?" he asked.

"Yes…no. Well, shit," I stammered and laughed at the way my brain stopped functioning around this beautiful man.

When I met Edward last night, I thought I had a clear picture of what he looked like. Now, in the full light of day, I could see all of the little details that I had missed. He was tall, well over six feet, and muscular but not stocky. I would guess he was a little older than I was, maybe in his early-twenties though he could pass for younger. His hair, which I thought was brown, was actually a deep, dark red, curling in such a way that it gave him a purposefully rumpled appearance. I couldn't tell whether the look was natural or something he spent time getting just right in front of the mirror every day. Long, thick lashes that reached almost to his eyebrows framed his intensely green eyes. I saw some kind of spider-web like lines, perhaps scars, on the right side of his face, but they were light and hardly noticeable. He had a few freckles scattered on his cheeks, accentuating his high cheekbones, and his smile was wide and bright.

He was wearing a light blue t-shirt, which was a bit snug across his chest. His gray cargo pants clung to his hips and flared slightly as they continued down his legs. He projected a quiet confidence, but something in the way he held his body reminded me of how shy I was before coming to the carnival all those years ago.

He smiled at me as I finished ogling him and my eyes met his. I turned away, hooking my thumb in the direction of my trailer to hide the embarrassment I was sure showed on my face.

"This hunk of metal is mine, but it's not a camper, it's a travel trailer," I replied, turning back to meet his eyes as he regarded me curiously.

"What's the difference?" he asked.

"Campers usually fold; they're referred to as pop-ups a lot. Travel trailers are towable, like campers, but they don't fold down," I informed him, hating the fact that I sounded like some kind of RV salesperson.

"Huh, I guess you learn something new every day," he replied, leaning against the side of my truck with his hands behind him. "So what made you choose this over something like one of these other…things?" He waved his hand around to indicate the different types of vehicles surrounding us. We both smiled at his obvious lack of knowledge regarding mobile-living options. I leaned back against my trailer and pushed my legs out in front of me, crossing them at the ankles.

"Well, I definitely wanted something towable instead of a drivable model," I replied, relieved that I was already feeling more comfortable around him. "This way, once I'm all set up, if I want to head into town or get away from the carnival, I can take my truck without disturbing the trailer. The guy that used to own my booth also owned this truck and trailer. He bought both brand new and only had them for about six months when he met his fíorghrá at one of our stops. She didn't want to leave her family for the life of a carnie, so he sold me everything and settled down with her."

I couldn't help but notice Edward's head pop up a bit when I mentioned the term fíorghrá. Alice's words from last night came back to me - he had definitely heard the term before. I held his gaze as he stared back at me, confident that he felt the same delightful pull on his chest that I did, as we stood a few feet apart and chatted.

"Fíorghrá…either you're Irish, or you've been spending a lot of time around Aunt Esme," he said, a small smile on his face, as he looked me over once more.

"Guilty of both," I laughed. "My grandparents all emigrated from Ireland in the late sixties. Plus, I really do spend a lot of time around Esme. She's practically a second mother to me. In fact, she home-schooled me through high school, along with a few of the other kids."

"Really?" he asked. "I had no idea she taught anyone but Alice. What was that like?" He seemed honestly curious. He tilted his head to the side and watched me as I flexed my sore ankles up and down. I probably should have stretched more before I stood still.

"It was great," I said. "Esme was tough but entertaining. She gave us a lot of latitude with the subjects we focused on. Alice and I both graduated about six months early and had no trouble with our state exams."

"What about you?" I asked. "What kind of high school did you go to?"

"Just a normal, suburban high school outside of Chicago," he replied with a shrug. Something about the way he said normal put me on edge, but I forced myself to relax. "Once I graduated, I went to college at Northwestern."

"Alice mentioned you had recently gotten a degree in Music Theory and Composition," I said. "So you're what, twenty-two now?"

"No, I just turned twenty-four about a week ago," he replied. "What about you? You're about the same, I assume."

"I'll be twenty-one in September," I answered. "My birthday is two days after Alice's. So did your program take extra time or something?"

"What?" he asked. He was so cute when he got that inquisitive look on his face. It made me want to run my finger over the furrow between his eyebrows.

"You graduated high school at eighteen, yes?" I asked. He nodded slowly, and I couldn't help but notice his eyes seemed a little wider than they had been a moment ago. "If you were eighteen when you finished high school, why did you-"

I was abruptly interrupted as a loud horn sounded from the direction of the carnival grounds.

"Oh crap, I'm going to be late," I said hurriedly, bouncing back and forth from one foot to the other. I took a couple of steps toward my trailer door as Edward looked in the direction of the grounds. "I'm sorry, but I really need to shower and then get to work. I have to restock my prizes before the gates open," I said as I reached the steps and grabbed the door handle. "Will you be around later today?" I asked suddenly, not willing just to watch him walk away.

"Yeah, sure. I'll, uh-" Edward began but I cut him off as I opened my door and stepped inside.

"I'll be at the Water Race game, toward the back of the midway. Stop by around one, and I'll take you to lunch…if you'd like," I replied, hoping he would take me up on my offer so I could spend more time with him. I knew I had him when he grinned widely at me as he stepped away from my truck.

"Of course, absolutely, I'll meet you there at one," he said, as he walked backwards, headed toward Esme's trailer. I grinned at him one last time before I shut the door and did a happy little jig on my way to the bathroom.

**xXxXx**

There was a crowd waiting to get in when the gates opened at eleven, which surprised every single carnie who saw it. We sometimes got a few early birds on Saturday mornings, but never before had there been a line of people like there was today. By noon, the midway was absolutely packed, and I was calculating how soon I would need to restock my prizes. I sent an email from my phone to my supplier so he could have extra stock on the next shipment, knowing this weekend would deplete my inventory.

At 12:30, I was bouncing on my toes as I searched the crowd every few seconds for my handsome ginger…who technically wasn't mine yet. I planned to rectify that situation as soon as possible.

At 12:42, I was checking the clock on my phone obsessively and panicking that he wasn't going to show.

At 12:54, I finally – _finally_ – spotted that shock of bronze hair moving through the crowd toward my booth. Good god, the man could be a living, breathing advertisement for Irish gingers everywhere.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from him as he struggled to find a path through the crowd. At one point, he seemed to trip over something. I almost lost sight of him, but his head suddenly popped back up, and he moved forward once again. He was almost to the booth when his eyes met mine, and he gave me a heart-stopping smile. I couldn't hold back my grin as he stepped up to my counter.

"Hi," he said, still smiling. Still beautiful.

"Hi," I replied, a little breathlessly. "You made it."

"Of course! There's no place I'd rather be," he said, his eyes wandering over my face, as his smile grew even wider. I felt absolutely giddy at this point and was unable to hide it. _He showed up!_ He was here, and I was going to take him to lunch and spend time getting to know him.

"Hey, gypsy-girl, you wanna take my money or are you just gonna stand there making goo-goo eyes at the Mick all day?"

My smile dropped and I whipped my head in the direction of the voice cutting through my Edward bubble. I had completely forgotten about the patrons lining up to play. The loud mouth was standing at the water gun closest to me. He was wearing cutoff jeans and a Budweiser tank top and had the longest mullet I'd seen in at least two years. His clothes were dirty, his hair was greasy and he looked like he was all bark and no bite. I decided he needed a little payback for his name-calling. I was all for giving great customer service, but even I had a few lines you just didn't cross.

"Allow me to apologize, sir. Please step right up – there's a winner every round," I yelled loud enough for all the patrons at the booth to hear. As Mullet McGee set his money on the counter, I put my hand over his and leaned toward him.

I looked him straight in his eyes as I whispered in the coldest voice I could muster. "You know, if my grandmother had overheard you call some nice young man such a nasty, mean-spirited name, she would have put a curse on you. Something like a 'flaccidity' curse for permanent loss of erection, or a 'defollication' curse, a fast one, that would remove all of your hair in one day." I ran my eyes purposefully up and down his body as his mouth fell open.

"Either one would work in a situation like this," I continued. "You just need to be standing relatively close to the person you want to put the curse on and whisper the words that have been passed down in my family for generations. I guess you're lucky it was only little ol' me standing here and not her." I patted his hand, not taking his money, before walking down the front of the booth. When I eventually got back to his game position, there was an elderly woman standing in his place. I collected her money, giggling to myself at how easy it was to make some people nervous.

I stood near Edward, noticing him giving me a questioning look, as I yelled for the round to begin. I didn't get the chance to ask him about it because at that moment, Phil came walking into the booth from behind me to cover while I was at lunch. I thanked him as I headed past, feeling my heart race at the thought of the upcoming hour with Edward.

I moved in the direction of the camp, away from the pavilion. Edward followed, giving me another one of those curious looks. I smiled up at him as I continued weaving my way through the people, waiting to get clear of the crowd so we could actually talk to each other.

"You look like you want to ask me something, Edward," I said as we finally moved around the last of the mob and headed toward the exit.

"I'm just wondering where you're taking me," he replied, smiling. "I thought most of the food booths were by the pavilion."

"Well yeah, the food booths _are_ mostly up that way, but it's Saturday, which means Mama C is cooking over at the camp. You really haven't experienced carnie life until you've sat outside with a glass of sweet tea and a full plate of whatever she happens to be making that week," I replied, as we walked into the camp. We headed toward the back of the lot, where I knew the Copes had set up their mobile home.

Mrs. Cope, also known as Mama C, was the wife of one of the carnies. Her husband owned the Duck Game and the Basketball Toss. A couple of years ago, Mama decided to stop working the games, essentially retiring, but she still traveled with Mr. Cope all season. Every Saturday she set up her picnic tables, grills and smokers and cooked for the rest of the carnies, charging only a minimal fee to cover her expenses. Her menu changed depending on the location, but two things were constant – sweet tea and her luscious red velvet cupcakes. There had been fistfights between carnies over the last red velvet cupcake.

As we reached our destination, I directed Edward to a picnic table and yelled, "Feed me, Mama C, feed me!"

Mama C popped her head out one of the windows of her large mobile home and yelled, "Hold your damn horses, missy, before I make you go get me a switch!" I laughed loudly at her standard greeting and sat down across from Edward, enjoying his amused look. The sun was shining on his right side, and I once again noticed the web of scars on his face.

"How'd you get them?" I asked, mentally smacking myself for being so blunt.

"How'd I get what?" he asked in return, tilting his head and looking puzzled…and quite adorable.

I motioned to the side of my face as I replied, "The scars. I could see them when the sun was shining on your face earlier, and I was just curious as to how you ended up with them."

His face fell and he looked down at the table, nervously rubbing his thumb over his fingertips. I regretted asking such a personal question as soon as the words left my mouth. We hadn't even had a glass of tea yet, and I was already ruining lunch.

"I was in an accident…a car accident, a few years back. They're from the glass," he said quietly.

His eyes refused to meet mine. I couldn't help but think there was more to this story than just a car accident. I let it go because it was clearly making him uncomfortable, which was the last thing I wanted to do today. After all, I knew we would have more time for difficult conversations as we got to know each other better.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry," I said, as I reached my hand out to brush his fingers with mine. He raised his head, and his verdant eyes finally met mine just as Mama C came storming outside.

At just over five feet tall, yet well over 200 pounds, Mama C could be a bit intimidating, but the chubby, middle-aged redhead had a heart the size of Texas and could cook like no other. Moreover, she had a wicked sense of humor, which I was sure she was about to use against poor, unsuspecting Edward.

"Well, well, now. Who do we have here?" she asked, looking Edward up and down as she set two glasses of tea in front of us.

"Mama C, I would like you to meet Edward Masen, Esme's nephew. Edward, this beautiful woman is the world renowned Mama C. Don't insult her cooking, don't touch her ass, and you should get along just fine," I said as I tried not to laugh.

Edward froze, halfway between sitting and standing, as his eyes just about bugged out of his head. Mama and I got a good laugh at his expression and hunched over stance.

"I don't know, Bella. I'm thinking I may break my long-standing rule against ass-touching for this one." She winked at me as she headed over to the grill to make us a couple of plates. Edward's ears were a bit pink as he sat back down so I decided to go easy on him.

"If she's teasing you that means she likes you, and apparently she likes you on looks alone, so I think you're golden," I whispered, reaching out once more to touch my fingers to the back of his hand.

"I think that might have been the first time in my life that I was actually afraid of a woman. She looked at me like she wanted to tie me up and throw me in the back of her trailer," he whispered back, widening his eyes as if he were truly afraid.

"Oh, she probably does," I replied seriously. "But I doubt Mr. Cope would want another sex slave thrown into the mix." I was barely able to keep a straight face as I said this, and we both ended up laughing hysterically, tears streaming down our faces.

"I love your laugh," he said suddenly, as I tried to catch my breath. His gaze was too strong, too intense, and I felt my face heat up under the scrutiny. It seemed like there were miles in between us, so I got up slowly and moved to his side of the table, bumping my elbow against his as I sat on the bench next to him.

"I really love your laugh, too," I said, as my fingers moved to trace invisible symbols on the back of his hand once again.

**xXxXx**

After a lunch of pulled pork sandwiches, coleslaw, fried okra and sweet tea - lots and lots of sweet tea - I grabbed a cupcake for each of us and told Mama C to put the meals on my tab. As I headed back to the table, I noticed Edward rubbing his stomach and looking a little uncomfortable.

"Are you all right?" I asked as I reached the table. Edward looked up at me and gave me a small smile, his eyes sparkling in the sun.

"Yeah, I think I just ate too much," he replied. "My head kept telling my mouth to stop eating but the food was just so good. No wonder you didn't want to eat in the carnival." He stood as he said this, walking with me toward the grounds so I could return to work. I hated that our lunch was over. I liked him being near; it gave me a warm feeling in my chest as if someone was hugging my heart.

"What did you say to him?" he asked suddenly, distracting me from my thoughts.

"Huh? Who?" I asked, confused by his sudden change in topic.

"That guy at the game earlier," he explained. "The one who called you gypsy-girl. What did you say to him to make him leave so fast?"

"Oh, I told him my grandmother would have cursed him if she ever heard him call someone a Mick," I replied casually, dodging patrons as we made our way into the grounds. Name-calling was one thing I had definitely dealt with in my life. Normally I could let things roll off my back, but hearing someone insult Edward had caused the protective side of me to flare up. I was getting mad again just thinking about it.

"Thanks for the effort, but names that like don't bother me," he said. "I'm pretty used to it. I was more upset that the guy called you what he did. I wanted to say something to him about it, but whatever you said scared the hell out of him and he took off." I looked up and gave him a small smile as we arrived at my booth and headed toward the back entrance.

"Oh lord, being called a gypsy doesn't bother me a bit. I think of it as a term of endearment, not an insult," I explained. "And what do you mean by _you're used to it_? Did other kids pick on you because you're Irish?" I felt a flash of anger and curiosity roll over me as I pictured a young Edward being ridiculed for his red hair and freckles. I wanted to see some pictures of him as a child; I would bet he was the cutest little thing ever.

Edward snorted, almost in disgust, as he looked away from me. Whatever thought he had must have made him angry because his face was tight and his jaw was clenched.

"No, not because I'm Irish, Bella. Things were…difficult growing up," he replied, looking down at me. There was pain and anger in his eyes, and I again wondered what happened in his past to leave such physical and emotional scars.

I reached out slowly and took his hand in mine. I brought it to my chest and placed the back against my heart as the electricity between us surged. I had to close my eyes for a moment before I could meet his gaze once more.

"I won't ask you to tell me anything right now, but I hope that someday soon you will," I whispered and looked earnestly into his eyes. I wanted him to see how sincere I was about this.

"I would really like for us to learn to trust each other," I said, even quieter than before

Edward stared at me for a few seconds, his face only inches away from mine.

"I think I'd like that…a lot." He leaned toward me as his eyes moved to my lips. I stretched up onto my toes to meet him halfway. My eyes closed just before his lips brushed gently against my right cheek, an inch away from where I truly wanted them.

"Thank you for lunch, Bella. The food was wonderful but the company was extraordinary," he whispered, his cheek still resting against mine. His fingers flexed against my hand, squeezing just a bit tighter, and I gasped at the heat this simple action sent through my body.

"I hate to leave you, but I have a practice scheduled this afternoon, and then Esme needs me to take her to Chattanooga for some supplies," he said, sounding as sad as I felt about our impending separation.

"It's okay; I have to work until closing anyway. Do you think you'll be around tomorrow?" I asked, my body betraying my words as I gripped his hand tighter, holding onto him for dear life.

Edward just nodded and leaned in to kiss my forehead before he took a step back and released my hands. I missed his touch immediately - I'm not going to lie and say I didn't. I backed up, one step closer to my booth but that much farther away from him.

"Then I guess I'll see you around," I said, keeping my voice as calm as I could. It was quite a feat, really, considering I wanted to throw myself at him and demand he take me along.

"Tomorrow…I promise," he said. With one more smile, he turned and headed off into the crowd, leaving me in the shadows with my heart racing and my hands itching to touch him again. I'd never felt such pure joy in all my life, and I fully intended to hold onto the feeling as I stepped into the sunlight and got back to work.

.

.

.

* * *

A couple of translations:

**Giofógach** translates to** gypsy** and is pronounced giih-foe-gahck (modern Irish would be **Giofóg**)

**Fíorghrá** translates to **true love** and is pronounced feer-guhraw


	3. Joy

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

.

The crowds held steady throughout the afternoon. As the evening began, the number of patrons lining up for the games increased until it seemed the midway was bursting at the seams. Mr. Newton sent Emmett around to all the gaming booths after the dinner rush to check our inventory levels because the gates would be open until midnight. He never wanted anyone to have to shut down play if it wasn't absolutely necessary.

"Be still, my Bell. You're about as busy as a two-dicked dog at a bitchfest. How ya' handling it?" Emmett said as he walked into the booth from the back. His jean shorts and gray t-shirt had grease stains on them, and I noticed his hair was in complete disarray. The other carnies must have been running him ragged.

"I'm hanging in, Em. I don't think I've ever seen the midway this packed. Are we giving away money around here or something?" I asked as I set up the next round and collected the money from the patrons. Phil had already cleaned out my cash box twice, and I was shocked that it was almost full again. Having that much cash on hand made me nervous. I was glad Emmett was there, even if it was only for a few minutes.

"Sure seems like it," he replied. "The line for the Zipper is over an hour long and still growing. We may actually have to cut it off at this rate just so we can shut down on time."

He waited patiently while I made my standard announcements. A man at the other end of the booth won the round. He leaned down to ask the little girl next to him what she wanted off the prize cloud. She whispered back at him as I smiled. One large purple unicorn later, I was back by Emmett as more patrons moved up.

"Dad wanted me to stop by and make sure you had enough stock to make it through the night. Mr. Cope is getting desperate over at the Duck Game, so I'm heading to the camp. Want me to grab some for you while I'm there?" he asked as he plucked a giant pink teddy bear from the prize cloud and stroked it's fluffy round ears. The dichotomy of this behemoth of a man and the pink bear was enough to make me bust out laughing.

"Jesus, Em, quit molesting my bear," I yelled. I continued laughing as I pulled the bear from his arms, earning a pout from my friend. "And yeah, if you could grab me two bags out of my stash, I'd really appreciate it."

"Sure, I'll grab you a couple," he said, still staring at the pink bear in my hands.

"I heard you met Alice's cousin already," Emmett suddenly exclaimed as I set the bear down.

"Last night," I replied and nodded my head in his direction as I walked away. Less than a minute later, I was back in front of him again. "We had lunch together today over at Mama C's, too. Did you meet him yet?"

"Nah, but I heard you two were quite chummy together. Is that what's got you so happy? Did he get his clapper in the mouth of your bell, Bell?" he asked as he wiggled his eyebrows at me. This only made him look like he had some kind of strange facial twitch, so I flicked him on the forehead. He yelped and rubbed the spot on his head as I chuckled.

"You are one dirty dog, you know that?" I argued. "And no, doofus, he did not get his clapper anywhere near me. We just had lunch together." Emmett waited until the next round finished before he restarted the conversation.

"Did he wig out when you told him about your smell-o-vision?" he asked. "I remember when you told me. I showered like four times a day for a week, afraid you would smell my B.O. from across the grounds or some shit." He laughed so hard at the memory that most of the patrons turned to look at us.

"Uh, no. I didn't tell him about it yet," I replied, feeling uncomfortable in my admission. Edward and I had met not even twenty-four hours ago; did Emmett really expect me to spill my secrets so quickly?

"Oh, I just figured you would've told him," he replied casually. "I mean he's practically carnie family already because of Esme and Alice. It's not like he'd be freaked out by it or anything. Just tell him you smell funny things and be done with it."

"Right…yeah…I will," I mumbled and shrugged at him. I walked back across the length of the counter, hoping to end the conversation.

"All right, Bell," he hollered as he turned and headed out of the booth, smiling broadly. "I shall return!"

As I collected the money for the next round, I thought about what Emmett had said. Would Edward be upset if he knew about me? It had been a long time since I had tried to interact on a personal level with anyone outside of the carnies, and most of my memories from before I joined Eclipse were tinged with sadness and humiliation. Edward's mom had a gift, as did his aunt and cousin. I tried to convince myself that it wouldn't be a big deal to know I also had a gift. My smile dropped from my face as an anxious feeling settled into my stomach.

I buried the anxiety quickly, knowing there really was nothing I could do about it now. I plastered a smile back on my face and began the next round, thankful for the distraction.

"C'mon up – aim it, shoot it, win it – there's a winner every round!"

**xXxXx**

It was a little past nine that night when I suddenly noticed the fragrance of caramel nearby. I spun quickly, scanning the crowd in front of the booth. Three seats from the end sat Edward, all warm smile and messy hair, with the water gun in his hand.

"What's this?" I asked, smiling teasingly as I strolled over to him. "Come to try your luck at my little game?"

"More like I came to have my money stolen by a beautiful gypsy," he replied with a heart-stopping smile. "So what's the trick to this?" He raised the gun and aimed at the clown mouth in front of him, pursing his lips a little.

"No tricks - just aim and shoot," I replied, stepping in front of him. "First person to get their clown hat to the top wins the round." I placed both hands on the counter and leaned forward. He dropped his aim as he stared at me, his head tilting a little to the side.

"No tricks, huh?" he asked, one side of his mouth curling up into a lopsided smile. My eyes widened and I felt my pulse race as the scent of warm honey tickled my nose. "How do I know you're telling me the truth?"

I bent over the counter further, pushing my elbows together slightly. Edward's gaze dropped to my chest and I heard him inhale sharply before his eyes met mine once more. I leaned all the way into him, my cheek just barely touching his, as my lips brushed against his ear.

"You can trust me, a stór," I whispered, moving back until I could see him once more. Our eyes locked fleetingly before I leaned in quickly and pressed my lips against his cheek. Using every ounce of willpower I had, I stepped back, meeting his gaze while I increased the distance between us.

"Another round, another winner," I yelled. "Aim it, shoot it, win it. Who's ready to play?"

I winked at Edward as I moved along the counter to collect the money from the other patrons. I stopped in front of a little red-haired girl, two spots down from Edward. She was so short she could barely see over the counter. I checked to make sure she didn't want something to stand on, but she stubbornly refused as the woman with her shook her head at me and laughed quietly. When I reached Edward again, I waved off his efforts to hand me money.

"This one's on me," I said, strutting past him to the control panel. I took a chance and peeked back over my shoulder. He had a small smile on his face as he watched me walk away. His smile quickly changed to a smirk when he caught me looking at him.

"Okay folks, on the count of three, I'll turn the water on. Everybody ready?" I asked, looking down the counter. Edward was staring straight ahead, his gun raised and an expression of absolute concentration on his face. I would have laughed at how serious he looked if it wasn't so damn hot.

"One…two…three!" I yelled. I pressed the button turning on the pumps, forcing the water from a holding tank in the back through the guns. Patrons laughed and yelled to each other as they streamed water into the clown mouth in front of them. I watched the hats rise higher and higher on the clear tubes, making it appear as if they were floating in the air. The buzzer signaling the end of the round sounded, and I laughed as I moved to stand in front of Edward again. He smirked at me cockily. I couldn't help but grin back at him.

"Well, well, well…a first-timer wins the prize," I said loudly. I raised both arms toward the prizes hanging above me and gave him a coy smile. "Tell me, sir, what prize catches your eye this evening?"

Edward winked at me before he turned and motioned for the little red-haired girl to come over to him. When she stepped in front of him, he bent down so his face was level with hers.

"What do you think?" he asked her. "What prize should I get?" The little girl looked between Edward and me before she leaned in and whispered something into his ear. When she moved back Edward smiled at her and whispered, "Good choice," before standing and turning to me.

"I do believe I'd like one of those big orange frogs, please," he said. I noticed him say something to the woman with the little girl as I reached up and unhooked an orange frog from the grid above me.

"Here you go, sir," I said as I handed over the stuffed animal. Edward looked at the frog for a moment, moving his head back and forth, as he clucked his tongue. He kneeled in front of the little girl and gave her a serious look.

"You know," he said, "I think this guy would much rather go home with you. Would you be willing to take care of him for me?" The little girl squealed as Edward handed her the frog. She squeezed the frog and jumped at Edward, wrapping her arm around his neck and pressing the frog into his face.

"Thank you thank you thank you," she cried. "Auntie Lori, look! He gave me a frog!" She hopped up and down as the woman thanked Edward before they turned and walked back into the crowd.

"That was really nice of you," I commented to Edward when he was once again standing in front of me.

"What can I say, we gingers have to stick together," he replied with a chuckle. I loved that he could be so generous to a stranger. Seeing him act so selflessly made him all the more attractive to me.

"Got some free time?" I asked as I began to move along the counter once more. He nodded, and I motioned for him to join me in the booth. When he came through the back, I put my hands on his chest and pushed gently, directing him to a stool near the control panel.

"Stay put," I whispered, noticing that his face was level with mine as he sat on the stool. I stored that information away for later and worked my way along the counter.

"See the red button?" I asked as I made my way back to him, stopping to drop the stack of bills in my apron pocket into the cash box. Edward looked down at the panel and nodded.

"When I say three, push that button," I said. I turned to the patrons and made my usual announcements with one minor adjustment. "Okay, folks, on the count of three, we'll turn the water on." I grinned over at Edward, who was smiling brilliantly at me and waiting for his cue.

"Everybody ready? One…two…three!" Edward pressed the button, and water shot out as the patrons aimed for the clown mouth in front of them.

"You must have a huge water bill," he joked, watching the hats climb the tubes.

"It's all gray water," I responded, smiling at him when his eyes met mine. "There's a tank in the back. We fill it up during set-up, and then the water is recycled through a system of tubing and basins after each round."

"Concerned about the environment?" he asked.

"Partially, though I'm really more concerned about my bottom-line," I replied. "If I had to use a live water supply the town could back-charge the carnival for the cost, which would cut into my profits. This way I use less water, towns rarely complain and everyone makes money. I've only ever run into a problem when a particularly bad drought was affecting the area we were in. Elected officials don't want their residents thinking we're out here wasting water when they're crops are dying, you know?" Edward nodded at me as I pulled a few more prizes out of the back.

"How was the trip to Chattanooga?" I asked, remembering his plans for today. The strands of hair that had escaped my twist were irritating me so I released my clip. I heard Edward make a noise that sounded a bit like a gasp as the long strands of brown and purple tumbled over my shoulders.

"Beautiful," he whispered. I met his gaze as I ran my fingers through my hair, not knowing if he meant for me to hear him. I smiled coyly while rewrapping my hair into a twist and clipping it into place.

"Beautiful?" I asked, crossing my arms lightly over my chest and looking at him quizzically.

"Um, yeah," he stuttered. He cleared his throat as I watched his eyes dart around the booth. He hadn't been talking about the drive. "The scenery north of here is beautiful. We traveled a little further east on the way back so I could see more of the mountains."

"Ahhh," I replied as I moved to collect the money before starting another round. "The Smokies are absolutely gorgeous, though you should really see them at sunrise. The sky glows with pink, purple and orange light; the fog rises off the mountainside in a blanket of soft white, blurring the edges of your reality until it feels like you're living in a cloud of color. It's truly breathtaking."

"Wow," Edward whispered, staring at me with wide eyes. "You just made me want to get up before dawn so I can see that."

"You need to be further north for the best views," I replied. I moved closer to him, feeling a pull on my heart that could not be ignored as I said quietly, "Maybe someday I'll take you to Tennessee with me, to my place on Twilight Lake. You can watch the sunrise over Thunderhead Mountain from my deck. The scenery, the sounds of the forest coming alive, the smell of the mist in the air…it's practically a religious experience."

"That sounds incredible," he whispered, brushing his fingers across my wrist slowly before he moved to shut off the pumps between rounds. His eyes held so much warmth, so much tenderness, that his gaze made my heart stutter then race in anticipation.

Something about the air around us felt heavy…burdened by the intensity of our attraction. I leaned into him, my body demanding to be in contact with his. When we were cheek to cheek, I stilled, enjoying the sweet, earthy scent of him as I felt the warmth from his body radiate into mine. We stayed this way for a few moments - not moving, barely touching - before I pulled back with a happy sigh.

Keeping our eyes locked, I walked backwards along the counter, needing the space between us to refocus on the patrons waiting to play. Once I collected the money and the water was flowing, I returned to his side, the heaviness of a few moments ago having dissipated.

"How did your practice go?" I asked him, wanting to know more about his day.

"Practice went well," he replied, leaning back a bit and getting more comfortable. "We need to work on a few cues to tighten up the timing, but other than that I think Tanya and Irina were happy with what I had to offer them."

"And what exactly was it that you offered them, Mr. Masen?" I raised an eyebrow at him suggestively before I moved along the counter once more. Edward laughed loudly and I shot him a big smile over my shoulder.

"I offered them my talent as a musician, nothing more," he said when I met him in his corner. We smiled at each other for a few seconds before I made the announcements.

"They're very attractive women, Edward," I said as the water flew behind me.

"Really?" he asked with a sly smile on his face. "I didn't notice. Something must have been distracting me." My breathing sped and my heart thumped as our eyes met. He reached out and brushed my bangs off my face, trailing his fingers lightly over my cheek.

"Easily distracted, are we?" I whispered. "And what kind of distraction would keep you from noticing the beauty of the Denisov sisters?" Edward gently pulled me between his knees and leaned in, his nose running along my cheekbone until his lips were near my ear.

"The charming, funny, brown-eyed, stunningly gorgeous kind of distraction," he whispered. The feel of his breath ghosting across my skin made me shiver as I moved closer to him.

I took a few seconds to enjoy the scent of him as his soft touch set my body on fire. Much too soon I was forced away from him as the patrons kept lining up. We continued shooting glances at one another and sneaking small touches as we worked.

We had been running the game for about an hour, laughing and joking with each other all the while, when Emmett came strolling into the booth. He was carrying two large plastic containers filled with flattened stuffed animals.

"Bell Biv Devoe!" he hollered. "How's it hanging?" He turned to smile at me and noticed Edward sitting in the corner. His smile widened as he looked back and forth between the two of us.

"You must be Alice's cousin," he said, moving to shake Edward's hand. "I'm Emmett, Bella's beloved life-partner." I smacked him in the chest as Edward stood, shaking the ridiculous beast's hand.

"You're an idiot," I growled at Emmett. "Edward, this is Emmett McCarty, carnival mechanic and all-around pain in the ass. Emmett, this is Edward. Mind your manners." I glowered at Emmett, wishing I could muzzle him before he embarrassed me in front of Edward.

"Aw c'mon, Bell," Emmett said. "You know I don't mean anything by it." He motioned to me and covered one side of his mouth, as if he were telling Edward a secret. "She gets cranky around her time of the month, but chocolate usually helps." I smacked him in the chest again as he laughed and backed away.

"Damn it, Emmett. Knock it off!" I yelled. "Edward, just ignore everything he says. Working around all that diesel exhaust has killed a few too many brain cells over the years."

Edward chuckled as he watched Emmett and I argue back and forth.

"How long are you gonna be traveling with us, man?" Emmett asked Edward, opening the prize bags and fluffing the stuffed animals before handing them to me.

"Just for the summer, I think. I really don't have any set plans right now," Edward replied. I noticed him glance my way as he said this, and I smiled to myself, hoping he would stick around for a long while.

"And you're working for Tanya and Irina, right?" Emmett asked. Edward nodded. "Dude, those two are hot with a capital T. I totally dig that pin-up vibe they got goin' on. Plus all the ink? Fuckin' A," he said as Edward glanced at me. He looked completely uncomfortable. Emmett was too busy expounding on the beauty of the Denisov sisters to notice.

"And that Tanya?" Emmett began. "Man, she can do this thing with her tongue, makes my dic-"

"Whoa!" I yelled interrupting Emmett and making Edward jump. "Family game here, Em. Watch your language."

"Sorry, Bell," he replied sheepishly. "So they're totally hot, right Eddie?" He smacked Edward on the chest and grinned.

"Sorry, man, I didn't really notice," Edward replied, smiling shyly at me once again. I backed away as Emmett looked between the two of us, a knowing look coming over his face.

"Right," he said, stretching out the word. "All right you two, I'm out of here. Try to behave and don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Well that leaves us with a hell of a lot of options, Em," I said, chuckling as I worked my way back to where they were standing.

"Hey, whatever kinks your hose," he replied then turned to Edward. "Nice meeting you, man." He held his hand out to shake Edward's once more then pulled Edward closer so he could whisper to him.

"And dude, don't let the smell-o-vision bother you," he whispered as a surge of panic crashed over me. "You don't need to take extra showers or anything like that. It's a whole different kind of smelly thing." He patted Edward on the shoulder then turned and walked out of the booth. I couldn't be sure who looked more shocked, Edward or me.

"Smell-o-vision?" Edward asked, looking completely lost.

"It's kind of an Emmett term," I replied. "I'll explain it another time."

I turned and worked the counter again, hoping to distract Edward from asking any more questions. It seemed to work, though I caught him looking at me now and again as if he was trying to work out a puzzle. I hated being evasive with him, but this was neither the time nor the place for that particular conversation.

As the night wore on, our interactions went back to being lighthearted, with lots of laughter and joking. It seemed like only minutes had passed when we heard Mr. Newton announcing the closing of the carnival over the loudspeakers. As the last of the patrons at my booth turned away, I bent at the waist and laid my upper body on top of the counter, stretching onto the balls of my feet.

"Good God, I can't believe how busy we were tonight!" I exclaimed as I stretched my arms over my head and arched my back. "Thanks for staying with me, you made the night pass much faster," I said to Edward. When he didn't answer right away I peeked over my arm to look at him.

Edward was sitting on the stool, his hands gripping the seat as he stared at me. Well, more precisely, as he stared at my ass. I subtly shifted my head to the side so I could watch him. I arched my back again, pushing my ass out and dropping my weight into my heels. Edward's eyes followed my movements as his mouth fell open slightly. I smiled and stood leisurely, rolling into an upright position, before I sauntered over to where he was sitting. His eyes ran up and down my body slowly as I approached, practically leaving a trail of fire in their wake. I had never felt so utterly sensual in all my life.

"You're awfully quiet over here," I said quietly as I stepped between his knees. "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" I leaned in, brushing my nose against Edward's while his hands came up to rest lightly on my hips.

The lights over the midway went out all at once, plunging us into darkness. Edward's grip on my hips tightened and his body jerked at the sudden change.

"Don't worry. The safety lights will kick on in just a minute. There's no need to be afraid of a little darkness," I whispered as I placed my hands on his arms lightly.

"It's not the dark that I'm afraid of," he said softly, his voice sounding a little rougher than normal. He wrapped his arms around my waist and gently tugged me toward him. Shifting forward, I draped my arms around his neck and moved my hands into his hair. I ran my nails along his scalp and pulled the strands between my fingers lightly, surprised by how soft they were against my skin. Edward's head fell back, and he sighed softly, showing his approval.

He brought his head back up, our noses touching once more, skin gliding over skin as we moved slightly. The tension, the anticipation, the not knowing whether our lips would finally meet or not was driving me insane. The ballsy carnie in me wanted to just grab him and pull his head to mine, devouring his mouth. The shy little girl inside of me wanted to wait and see if Edward would initiate our first kiss.

A mix of the two extremes won out. I leaned in slowly, planning to brush my lips against his. Before we could make contact, I smelled cut grass and heard a rustle coming from the back of the booth. I turned quickly, knowing Phil was walking toward us. Not wanting to have my dad see us in a compromising position, I pulled myself from Edward's arms and stepped away.

"Bella?" Edward whispered questioningly, just as the safety lights kicked on and bathed the midway in a dim glow.

"Hey, Phil," I said. "Have you met Edward?" I sat lightly against the front counter, crossing my arms over my chest as Phil looked between Edward and me. I could tell from his expression that Phil knew he had interrupted something, but it wasn't in his nature to pry.

"No, I haven't," he said, approaching Edward, who had recovered quickly and was now standing. "I'm Phil Dwyer, Bella's dad. You must be Esme's nephew." He smiled and reached out to shake Edward's hand. I noticed that Phil and Edward were about the same height and build, but the similarities ended there. Edward had dark red hair and green eyes while Phil had sandy blond hair and blue eyes. Edward looked younger than he really was while Phil's years playing semi-pro baseball in the sun had caused a few wrinkles and dark spots to form, making him appear older than his thirty-four years.

"Yes sir," Edward said. "It seems there isn't a person working for the carnival that didn't know I was coming for the summer." Edward said, laughing lightly.

"We're a pretty tight knit group, Edward," Phil replied as he looked between Edward and me with a small smile on his face. "I consider Esme and Alice family, and what makes them happy makes me happy. Your visit has made us all extremely happy."

"That's a bunch of happy there, Phil," I joked, bumping him with my elbow. "What brings you over? Afraid I would forget how to close my game?"

"No, smartass," he replied, pinching my arm lightly as I swatted his shoulder. "It was a really busy night and I didn't want you walking to the camp alone with a bunch of cash."

I smiled at him, glad to know that he cared enough to take care of me even though I wasn't a kid anymore. "Oh, well-" I said, but was interrupted by Edward.

"I can walk you home, Bella," Edward said, glancing between Phil and I. "That is, if you'd like." He looked a bit nervous when he said this, as if he actually thought I might refuse his offer.

"That would be great," I replied, grinning up at him.

"Well...okay then," Phil said, shaking his head. "You two be careful. And Bella?" I turned and gave Phil my full attention, hoping that would make him talk faster so I could once again be alone with Edward. "Your mom and I will be at the camp if you need anything. Anything at all. Okay?" I smiled at his overprotectiveness as I began locking down the booth for the night.

"Yeah, yeah, Dad," I said sarcastically, hopping up to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I got it. I'll see you tomorrow." Phil and Edward said goodnight to each other as I collected the cash and moved to the back of the booth to flush the pumps. When I came back out front, Edward was leaning on the counter, his arms crossed over his chest.

We were alone in the relative darkness of the empty midway.

"Hi," he said as I approached him slowly, noticing how his eyes followed my every movement.

"Hi," I replied. I stood in front of him, my breasts just barely touching his upper abdomen when we inhaled in unison.

"Are we ready to go?" he whispered as his hands came up to encircle my wrists lightly. I nodded, unable to form words. He dipped his head down to brush his lips gently across my forehead. "Then let's get you home."

He grabbed my hand with his as we exited the booth, turning off the power on the way out. We walked in silence through the grounds, not passing another person. I was enjoying the quiet, the cool night air and the feel of my hand in his. The smell of caramel and rain swirled around me as Edward spoke.

"Your dad seems like a nice guy," he said, looking down at me with a small smile. "Though I'm guessing you look like your mother."

"Hmm? Oh, he's my stepfather," I said. "My real dad died when I was just a baby."

"I'm sorry," he replied, looking a little shocked.

"Don't be, you didn't know," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"How long have Phil and your mom been together?" he asked.

"Seven years. We met him at a carnival in Phoenix on a Friday and were packed up and traveling in his old VW bus the following Tuesday," I replied, chuckling at the memories of our time in Phil's bus. "Two weeks after we left Phoenix, he traded-in the bus for a mobile home that would fit the three of us."

"That seems...fast," he said. I caught him looking at me out of the corner of his eye and I laughed.

"Fíorghrás," I replied, assuming the one word would be enough of an explanation.

"Hmmm," Edward responded as his hand gripped mine tighter. Much too soon for my liking we came to a stop in front of my trailer.

"Home at last," I whispered as I turned to face Edward. "Thanks again for staying with me at the booth, for walking me home – for everything today." I suddenly felt extremely nervous and somewhat shy. I looked down at my feet for a moment as I tried to rein in my emotions.

"Bella," Edward whispered, placing his fingers under my chin and delicately lifting my face. When our eyes met, I instantly felt swaddled in a sense of calm. The scents of warm honey and rain were teasing my senses, playfully riding on the pulses of energy shooting through my body.

Never before had a man evoked such an intense response from me. It amazed me that Edward could cause all of these emotions and sensations with only the look in his eyes and the brush of his fingertips. Heaven help me when we finally gave into the physical attraction between us.

Edward was staring at me, his eyes filled with want, as we leaned toward one another. Our movements were slow - deliberate - drawing out the incredible tension between us. I felt his breath on my face as my eyes closed just a split-second before our lips touched lightly, oh so gently…

And then the world around us exploded.

The wind sang, the stars laughed and the grass swayed in joy as light and color overwhelmed me. Every particle, every ion, every speck of energy rushed to dance along my skin. I had never felt anything so electrifying. I found myself struggling to stay upright as his lips moved softly against my own. I placed my hands on Edward's chest and gripped his shirt, pulling him closer to me. His hands landed lightly on my hips, steadying me with a gentle pressure.

This kiss - our first kiss - was chaste, sweet and damned near deadly in its intensity. I wondered if I would ever think of kissing as just the simple act of lips meeting ever again.

Edward pulled away after what felt like hours. He was beaming down at me as he dropped one last little kiss on the tip of my nose. The energy around me dissipated quickly, leaving me feeling drained and shaky. Edward mistook my trembling for chills and began running his hands up and down my arms to warm me.

"You should get inside," he whispered. I nodded in agreement but made no effort to move away from his hands. Instead, I leaned my head against his chest, unable to speak, needing just a moment more to calm myself. I knew if I tried to pull myself away from him, I would collapse under the weight of my emotions. Edward wrapped his arms around me once more, leaning down to kiss the top of my head as I clung to him. When I finally felt as if I could speak, I moved back, releasing his shirt from my grasp.

"Goodnight, a stór," I whispered, as I walked backwards to my trailer steps. I held Edward's gaze for a few seconds, hating the fact that I had to leave him again.

"Goodnight, beautiful," he said as I finally turned away from him.

I quickly stepped inside the trailer, shutting the door before I gave into my impulses and begged him to stay the night. A feeling of loss consumed me, and I sank to my knees, gasping for air. Every fiber in my body screamed for me to hold onto him as if my life depended on it. Truth be told, it just might, because if there was one thing I had realized tonight, it was that Edward Masen could very well be the death of me.

.

.

.

* * *

**A Stór** translates to** my darling** and is pronounced ah stohre


	4. Electricity & Tension

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

.

Vines and rain. Electricity and tension. I snuggled deeper into my bed to avoid the foulness on the breeze. I never liked waking up to negative feelings in the air; they always set me on edge and put me in a bad mood.

As the last tendrils of sleep released me from their grasp, I concentrated on the energy surrounding me. Instead of a hum or vibration, I felt what could only be described as a violent shock. I gasped at the sensation. This wasn't the first time the energies had felt physically painful to me, but the strength of the shock surprised me. While I didn't know exactly what my perceptions meant for the day, I did know this much – it was not going to be pleasant.

And it would more than likely involve Edward.

I rolled over to look at the clock. I had set my alarm for nine, but it was just past seven in the morning. I hadn't made it to bed until almost two and planned to sleep in. Apparently, my mind had other ideas. I wrapped my quilt tightly around me, huffing in annoyance. I wished the comfortable warmth of the multi-colored cotton cocoon could keep whatever objectionable events were going to happen later from affecting me.

The change in mood from yesterday to today was jarring. Just a few hours ago, I fell asleep after my amazing evening with Edward. We had laughed and teased each other while working seamlessly together. When he kissed me at the end of the night, the emotions I felt for him skyrocketed until the hope, the joy and the rapture were all pirouetting amongst the stars in a dance of light. My heart raced as I remembered the fire of his flesh meeting mine, the bursts of color behind my eyes as our lips danced together.

Once I recovered from the distressing sense of loss I felt when we said goodbye, I realized everything I was experiencing was right and necessary. I felt out of control because I was falling for him. I felt vulnerable because I wanted him to know the real me. I felt loss at his leaving because I wanted him next to me…always.

I wondered if he would find the time to come by my booth again or if I would see him at all before breaking down the midway this evening. I felt the need to be in his presence, to relieve the emptiness in my chest from his physical distance.

Today, our last day in Trion, the carnival was scheduled to close at five. This gave us time to pack up our booths and some of the smaller attractions before the mechanics and individual owners prepped their rides for dismantling. Once we packed everything for shipment to the next destination, we were on vacation for almost two weeks. For the first time in Eclipse history, we had no carnival scheduled over the holiday weekend. I would have to ask Edward what he had planned for the time off. I hoped to convince him to stay in Atlanta with the Newtons and the Denisovs…and me.

I must have actually fallen back asleep at some point. I was dreaming of nights spent showing Edward all that Atlanta had to offer when a loud banging at my door jolted me awake. I struggled to sit up, still wrapped like a burrito in my quilt but instead fell between the bed and the wall in a heap of bedding. I cursed every time my head connected with the wall while I wrestled with my fabric confines. Once I finally broke free, I raced into the living area, stubbing my toe on the corner of my kitchen cabinets along the way. This was not how I wanted to start the day.

Assuming it was only Alice or Renee, I yanked the door open, squinting and shying away from the brightness that assaulted me.

"Good morning, doll face. Glad to know you're as excited to see me as I am to see you." The odor of wet dog and damp pine greeted me before they were camouflaged by Cool Water cologne. _Jesus Mary and Josep__h, he must have bathed in the stuff to smell that strong!_

When my eyes finally adjusted to the sunlight, I was gifted with the image of little Mikey Newton. He was staring at me, drinking me in as if I was a glass of single malt whiskey and he was a parched alcoholic. His eyes widened as they traveled slowly down my body. I realized, belatedly, I was standing in from of him wearing nothing but a pair of white cotton panties and a thin tank top. I crossed my arms over my chest and retreated into the trailer to find something to cover myself.

"What's up, Mikey. Did you need something?" I asked as I grabbed my favorite purple hoodie off a chair. I threw it on quickly, overlapping the sides to hide my breasts. I really wished I had a pair of pants handy but at least the hoodie was long enough to cover me to mid thigh. Once I felt more comfortable, I walked back to the door and stepped out onto the metal steps.

"Huh?" he said, his eyes not looking nearly high enough to be focused on my face. "Oh, yeah…uh, Emmett said there's a problem with the...generators along your run of the...um, midway. You might not be able to run the Water Race...booth when the gates...uh, open at eleven," he stammered, still staring at some point well below my eye level. I cleared my throat and glared at him, raising an eyebrow when his eyes finally met mine. He blushed brightly and ducked his head, obviously embarrassed.

"Thanks for coming to let me know," I said. "I'll track Emmett down and find out what he wants me to do." I noticed him shift his weight from one foot to the other as his eyes bounced from my chest to my legs and back up to my face. This peep show needed to end - immediately - so I stepped back into my trailer and reached for the door. Mikey stood there dumbfounded before nodding quickly and turning away. I shut the door behind me, sighing as I rubbed my hand over my face.

I couldn't believe Mikey just saw me practically naked. The only bright spot: these panties were relatively tame, not even approaching the more risqué items in my lingerie drawer. By the way his eyes had bugged out of his head, I had a feeling the image of my innocent panties would be stored in Mikey's spank bank for later. I could only imagine what he would have thought if I'd answered the door in something lacier, skimpier…or nothing at all. Just the thought made me want to dry heave.

The kid wasn't all bad, I supposed. He was one of those baby-faced, all-American types: blond hair, blue eyes, still a bit scrawny at seventeen, friendly in a puppy dog kind of way. The problem was he took any kind of attention from a woman as a sign that they were flirting with him. I told him his new haircut was cute one time two years ago, and he hadn't stopped propositioning me since. The poor boy didn't have a shot in hell, but he wouldn't back down.

I turned back to the comfort of my bed but another loud rap at my door stopped me in my tracks. I spun around and threw the door open once more, rolling my eyes.

"Jesus, Mikey, you already saw me in my panties. What more could you-" The words froze on my tongue as the aromas of caramel and rain tickled my senses. The ache in my chest transformed into the warmth of a gentle embrace, calming my spirit instantly. My eyes met the variegated green of a malachite stone instead of the blue I expected.

"If this Mike is like most men, after seeing you _in_ your panties he probably wants to see you _out_ of them," Edward answered, a small scowl on his face. My skin tingled gently, begging to make physical contact with the person before me.

Edward quickly rearranged his expression as I gawked at him. He was guarding himself, trying to hide his emotions from me, but I could tell he was angry. His eyes were hard, and the muscles along his jaw flexed as he clenched his teeth. I wondered idly if the negative energy in the air was affecting his mood. There really wasn't any reason I knew of for him to feel cross this early in the morning.

We had been standing there for a few beats, staring at each other, when I noticed his gaze drop to my chest. I realized I had released the sides of my hoodie. It was hanging open, giving Edward a pretty decent view of my skimpy attire. I made no move to rectify this situation.

"Edward, uh, hi. Why are you…I mean, what are you, uh, doing here, now…so early?" I babbled helplessly, still gawking at him. The air flowing in through the open door was a bit chilly, and I knew my nipples had to be completely obvious under my tank top. Once again, I made no move to cover myself. I didn't care if Edward saw me so scantily clad. In fact, I wouldn't mind a bit if _his_ gaze dropped just a little lower.

"I'm sorry if I interrupted…something." He glanced slightly to his right where Mikey was chatting with another carnie, and it suddenly hit me that Edward was angry because of Mikey. Seeing him walk away from my trailer so early in the morning, me answering the door in my underwear... he must have thought the worst. If panic hadn't been streaming through my body, Edward's obvious jealousy might have delighted me.

"Esme sent me over to see if you'd like to join us for breakfast," he said, refusing to make eye contact with me. I quickly ran through all the possible ways I could clarify the situation. Every option seemed too cliché, too 'It's not what you think.' I would have to create an opportunity to make sure he knew that Mikey and I weren't…that we hadn't…

_Hell, I don't even want to THINK of it, let alone say it._

"Oh, sure. Breakfast sounds good," I mumbled. "Would you care to come in and wait? I won't take too long to get ready." I hoped he would take me up on my offer and stay for a few minutes. I needed a little time to figure out how to explain this morning to him.

"There's no place I'd rather be," he said with a small, sad smile. I opened the door and motioned for him to come inside. Taking a chance, I lightly ran my fingers across his arm as he passed me. The sensation caused my entire body to quiver softly. His surprised eyes met mine for a brief moment before I turned to close the door behind him. I watched as he made himself comfortable on the dinette bench nearest the bedroom.

"I'd offer to take you on a tour of my place, but it would be a waste of fifteen seconds. This is pretty much," I glanced quickly to my left and right, "all there is," I moved into the bathroom, leaving the door open so I could watch his reflection in the mirror. He looked around, seeming to take in every detail of the cramped space.

"It's nice. Cozy," he answered, stretching to inspect the pile of books stacked on the entertainment center. His white t-shirt pulled across his chest, and I could see the telltale shadow of what I assumed was a tattoo on his right shoulder. I wanted to walk over and pull the shirt out of the way so I could investigate his ink, but I knew I couldn't do that – yet.

"Cozy?" I asked as he looked over at me. "That's just a polite way to say it's way too small. It's okay. I know it's not a five star hotel, but it's mine. Plus, it's a thousand times better than staying with my mom and Phil. Before I bought this, I spent so much time at Esme's she probably could have claimed me as a dependent on her taxes!" He snorted at this, and I smiled in response.

"What was so bad about living with your mom and Phil?" I turned and stepped into the hallway, leaning my shoulder against the wall. He watched me as I ran a brush through hair. I noticed his eyes drop to my chest as I raised my arms. I pulled my shoulders back slightly, my hoodie falling open a little more. I figured there was no harm in a little teasing.

"Well, let's see. There's only one bedroom, so I slept in the living area," I said as I stepped back into the bathroom and grabbed my toothbrush. "Oh, and there's no door from the living area to the bedroom, and they were totally in their newlywed phase." I raised an eyebrow at him in the mirror as I brushed my teeth, grinning around my toothbrush.

"Enough said. Just about anything would be better than living with that," he replied, shivering a bit as he chuckled to himself. He was so damn cute.

As soon as I was done brushing - and spitting - I walked to my wardrobe to find clothes for the day. Standing in front of my wardrobe, I tentatively reached out with my mind to assess the energy around me. There was still an irritating, painful buzz. The sensation made me feel the need to wear something shocking, so I grabbed a chartreuse, strapless sundress and white flip-flops. I slid the accordion door to my bedroom closed and dressed quickly, not wanting to make Edward wait. When I opened the door again, he was standing right in front of me, one hand on each side of the little hallway. He had trapped me in my bedroom.

"Oh," I exclaimed breathlessly, shocked at our sudden proximity. "Are you ready to go?" I felt an electric current flow over my skin, teasing me lightly. Memories of last night's kiss flashed through my mind. I curled my hands into fists so I wouldn't run my fingers up his arms.

I stared unabashedly at Edward's chest, which happened to be about half an inch in front of my nose. His plain white t-shirt accentuated the muscles underneath. I ran my tongue across my bottom lip as I continued to admire his impressive frame.

"You look lovely, Bella," he said quietly. He reached out and ran his index finger from below my ear, down my neck, finally brushing his fingers delicately across my collarbone. Tremors ran through my body from his soft touch, and I felt the goose bumps rise on my arms. I was extremely aware of how close we were to my bed at that moment.

"Is he someone special to you?"

My eyes darted up to meet his, confused by his sudden shift in subject. "What? Who?"

"That boy, the blond I saw leaving your trailer this morning. Is he someone special?" The intense burning in his eyes contradicted the softness of his voice as he continued to trace figure eights on my collarbone.

"Mikey? No, he's not anything to me other than the carnival owner's son," I replied, my voice shaky. "Emmett sent him to tell me about a problem with the generators. I thought it was Alice or my mom knocking…" I trailed off as Edward shifted closer to me. He raised his other hand, running it from my wrist to my shoulder and back again. My eyes rolled back slightly as one large tremor rocked me from head to toe, and I bit back a moan.

Edward looked down to where his finger was gliding along my skin and smiled. "Do you have someone special? A boyfriend or something? I didn't think, yesterday…"

When his eyes returned to mine again, I saw it – the uncertainty, the insecurity of not knowing if his feelings would be returned. I reached up and ran my fingers delicately over his left cheek. I hoped to convey with my touch that I understood his hesitation, that we were together in this terrifyingly intense attraction.

"No, I don't have a boyfriend. I've never met anyone I wanted to be special like that…before," I said, resting my palm against his cheek. I held his gaze with as much confidence as I was capable. He smiled lightly at me, and I returned it with one of my own.

His eyes darted down to my lips and back up as we stood, barely touching. Suddenly, he took a small step back and placed both of his hands on my upper arms.

"I think…I mean, do you…can I…shit," he sputtered, snickering as he stumbled over whatever he was trying to say. I stood quietly, enjoying the feeling of his hands on my skin.

He looked at the floor while presumably collecting his thoughts. "Jesus, I haven't done this in so long. I don't think I remember how." He laughed again, glancing down at me with a cautious expression on his face. "Bella, would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?" he finally asked, leaning forward slightly. I raised my hands from under his and gripped his biceps, mirroring his hold on me as I leaned into him.

"Edward," I said. "There's no place I'd rather be."

I stretched up and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. Unlike last night, this kiss was nothing more than a quick brushing of our lips, causing only sparks of color behind my eyes instead of full-blown explosions. I pulled back slightly, smiling up into his handsome face before resting my head softly on his chest. Our arms eventually found their way around each other, and we both sighed in contentment. We stood clinging to one another as our hearts beat in unison.

**xXxXx**

After the intense moments in the hallway, the walk to Esme's mobile home felt light and easy. We talked about the books in my trailer, some of which he had also read, as we walked slowly. He held my hand, smiling at me as he guided me around puddles in the grass.

"Alice," I said abruptly. I smelled her spicy essence waft around me, and only Alice ever made the energy in the air increase so swiftly. Edward gave me a puzzled look. I shrugged at him and turned in the direction from which I knew Alice would arrive.

A knot formed in my stomach as I remembered my conversation with Emmett the night before. I was going to have to talk to Edward. Especially since I had just revealed part of my gift by announcing Alice's arrival before she was near enough to see or hear coming.

A few seconds later, Alice rounded the corner of a small, vintage camper owned by the Denisov sisters, smiling at us as she rushed over. "G'morning, Bella! Mom was beginning to wonder if Edward got lost on his way to your trailer or something, so she sent me out to find you." She threw a couple of pointed looks my way.

"Sorry, Alice. Edward caught me in my pajamas. I really didn't want to get out of bed this morning but Mikey showed up, and I…"

I unexpectedly lost my train of thought as I recognized the scent of plastic and candy. I turned sharply to my left, releasing Edward's hand in the process.

A completely stunned Lauren Mallory stood barely twenty feet away, staring at Edward with her mouth hanging open. All thoughts of my impending conversation with Edward left as I giggled at the poor girl. I knew Edward was incredibly handsome, but her reaction to seeing him for the first time was downright ridiculous. I shifted my eyes over to Alice, who had also spotted Lauren. She was obviously trying not to laugh at the gobsmacked expression on Lauren's face.

"Good morning, Lauren," I said, hoping she could pull herself together before Edward noticed her. Lauren was a nice-enough person when she wasn't trying to hump anything with a Y chromosome. At twenty, she was obsessed with getting married as soon as possible and having a huge family - away from the carnival. This desperation led her to make unwise decisions regarding the men in her life. Lauren had caused more than a few altercations with the wives and girlfriends of the men she pursued, both carnies and patrons.

"Hi, Bella, Alice. Who's your friend?" She swung her hips exaggeratedly as she strutted over to where we stood.

"This is my cousin, Edward," Alice replied icily. "He's working with Tanya and Irina for the summer, playing music for their show. Edward, this is Lauren Mallory. She runs the fruit smoothie booth at the front of the midway." Alice winked at me as Edward stepped forward and extended his hand toward Lauren.

"Edward Masen. It's nice to meet you," he stated politely, shaking her hand.

I glanced cautiously between Lauren and Alice. They had a violent falling out two years ago over one of Lauren's conquests. The guy had been sleeping with Alice whenever we travelled through Knoxville, but that ended the night I found him with Lauren in the backseat of his mom's Volvo. I still had a scar on my foot from sliding on the glass littering the ground after Alice busted out the windshield. That night cost me four hundred dollars in bail money for Alice and fourteen stitches for my foot. Alice and Lauren had hardly spoken since.

"Oh, yes, it's really nice to meet you, as well. How long do you plan on staying with us, Edward?" Lauren asked, running her eyes up and down his body. She placed a hand on her hip, jutting her breasts forward. My eyes narrowed slightly as I watched her eye-fuck my Edward. Lauren was no longer shocked at the beauty of the man standing before her; she was now in full-on temptress mode. It was a rare day when her seduction technique failed, and I was anxious to see how it worked on Edward. I felt an unfamiliar twisting in my abdomen but was too busy watching the interaction between the two of them to think about what it meant.

"Probably just for the summer. Esme and Alice were kind enough to let me stay with them while I experience carnival life for the first time," Edward replied, seemingly unaffected by Lauren's advances. He placed a hand on my lower back as Lauren devoured him with her eyes. _Jesus, that girl had a stare that could peel the paint off the walls._

Lauren's eyes darted to Alice as her top lip curled up slightly in a subtle display of distaste.

"Esme has one of the smallest mobile homes in the fleet," she said, giving Alice a sickeningly sweet smile. "I have an extra bed in my camper, if you ever feel the need to spread out a bit." Lauren reached forward to place a hand on Edward's chest. He lurched away, removing his hand from my back. The twisting in my stomach increased, and my temper blazed. I quickly stepped in front of Edward as I felt an irrational urge to block Lauren's advance.

"I really don't think that will be necessary, Lauren. I'm sure Edward will be just fine at Esme's place," I assured her. I winced as I felt the energy in the air escalate. I needed to settle down…and fast.

Lauren glared in my direction, pulling her hand back and running it through her dark brown hair. "You know, Bella," she said, looking at her nails and feigning boredom. "If I didn't know better I'd think you were sweet on our new friend here." She glowered at me. I assumed she was trying to look intimidating, but really, the expression on her face made her look like she had been sucking on a lemon.

She leaned forward and directed her attention back to Edward, who was still behind me. "I can't blame her, of course," she said, running her eyes along the length of his body once more. "I seriously doubt, though, that she has the necessary skills to interest you, sweetheart. I mean, her sex life's practically non-existent. The poor girl probably couldn't tell a dick from a doorknob."

Lauren leaned back and gave me a satisfied smirk, thinking she had won this little battle of words. I really hated it when people underestimated me. That was exactly what Lauren was doing, believing her insults had somehow made me feel like less of a woman.

She really didn't have a clue how wrong her assumption was.

"Well, sure, I mean, it has been awhile," I replied innocently. "Though I would think that's better than getting passed around like a beer bong at a frat house." My eyes met hers as the color drained from her face.

"Speaking of which, did you ever get rid of those saber-toothed crotch critters you were spreading around at the start of the season? I heard they were giving you quite," I motioned vaguely toward the general area in question, "an uncomfortable problem."

I kept my gaze steady, using the sweetest voice I could muster. Lauren glared at me. Her face turned red, and her mouth opened and closed convulsively, as if she wanted to say something but couldn't find the words. Eventually she grunted as she spun on her heel and practically ran away from us.

I turned toward Edward and noticed the stunned expression on his face. "Saber-toothed crotch critters?" he asked, a bit of humor in his voice.

"Yeah," I replied. "She gave half the carnies crabs earlier this year. They burned through here faster than a knife fight in a phone booth. From what I understand, those suckers, no pun intended, just wouldn't die. It was like some kind of mutant cockroach-crab cross. I hid in my trailer for almost two months. I was too afraid of coming into contact with the little buggers to mingle with the other carnies. Did you know crabs spread from person to person by living on clothing and towels and stuff?" I gave an exaggerated shiver, shooting Edward a grimace as I watched the emotions on his face go from polite interest to horror.

"No, I can't say I know much about crabs in general." I watched his lips twitch as he tried not to laugh. Within a few seconds he was chuckling quietly, and I grinned at him, knowing he was about to crack up. With each passing moment, his laughter grew stronger and louder until he was doubled over with tears running down his face.

"Jesus, Bella," he gasped. "I can't believe you asked her about her crab infestation." He was howling with laughter at this point, and, I had to admit, I thought it might just be the greatest sound in the entire world - one I was determined to hear as often as possible.

"I had to do something. I couldn't just let her sink her claws into you. Who knows where those things have been? You're much too innocent to be thrown to the Lauren's of the world," I said, giggling. My smile faded as he stopped laughing and looked at me with a slightly pained expression.

"All right, yes, we all know Bella's a snarky bitch," Alice said suddenly from behind us. "Can we go home now? I'm absolutely starving over here!" Alice put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot. In her green leggings, she looked remarkably like a longhaired Peter Pan.

"My my, we wouldn't want you to starve now, would we?" I replied. Edward's warm fingers laced with mine as we walked through the menagerie of portable homes.

We were almost to our destination when Lauren crossed our path again. I released Edward's hand as I moved to walk slightly in front of him, placing myself between him and Lauren.

She stopped to face us, glaring at me. "Are you following me?" she shrieked.

"No, Lauren," I said sarcastically. "We're just walking to Esme's. You know...that mobile home right over there?" I pointed in the direction of Esme's place and rolled my eyes.

I had taken a few steps past Lauren when I heard her whisper, "All the fucking freaks should stay together and leave the rest of us alone."

Every hair on my body stood on end as my emotions raged. The air was suddenly permeated with the stinging odor of ozone. I turned toward her just as I felt a single pulse of energy surge through me. The force of the wave was like a physical blow to my senses, and it caused me to stumble. I saw Edward reach out to steady me as Alice leaped at him.

"No, Edward!" she screamed.

The moment Edward's hand touched my arm, he stiffened slightly. The smell of ozone shifted to the sickeningly sweet smell of burnt hair just as Edward fell to his knees. Alice yanked his hand away from my body as the realization of what happened swept over me.

I allowed my anger at Lauren's words to overtake my control. My emotions screamed through my body of their own volition, absorbing and amplifying the energy around me. When Edward touched me, all of that energy transferred to him instantly.

I physically harmed Edward by losing control of my gift.

"Oh God," I cried as I knelt in front of Edward. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to..." I reached to place my hand on his arm, but he jerked away.

He stared at me for a moment, anger written across his face. "It's fine," he said coldly.

We both stood slowly, careful not to touch one another. His face, so expressive just moments before, had become a blank slate. Seeing him hide himself from me made my stomach knot and my eyes tear up.

"Edward, please," I whispered. I reached again to place my hand on his arm, but he pulled away. He turned from me and walked quickly toward Esme's, a noticeable limp in his gait.

My stomach dropped and my heart stuttered as I realized he didn't want me to touch him - he was probably afraid to make physical contact with me.

"Are you coming, Alice?" he yelled over his shoulder. His distance caused a physical pain in my chest. The farther he walked away from me, the more pronounced the ache became. An inferno engulfed my heart as the awful realization passed over me.

I would probably never get the chance to touch Edward again.

Alice placed her hand in mine, drawing my attention to her. She had tears in her eyes as she gave me a watery smile. "The way that they must, Bella," she said sadly. Tears fell down both our faces as I remembered our night under the stars - the night I met my fíorghrá.

I nodded in understanding before we turned to follow Edward.

I was deep in thought, wondering what I could do to repair the damage I had caused, when I felt Edward's eyes on me. He was leaning against a picnic table outside Esme's mobile home, his arms crossed over his chest defensively.

"So, Bella," he said as I stopped in front of him. "Would you like to tell me how you were able to send a jolt of electricity up my arm?"

I took a step toward him and he turned his head, looking off to the side. I shuddered as I felt a wave of panic pass through me at his refusal to look at me. I glanced over at Alice, catching her worried eyes, before looking back at Edward.

"If I told you it was just static electricity, would you believe me?" I asked, knowing what his answer would be. He shook his head no, his jaw clenched and his eyes hard. I took a deep breath and sighed, wishing we had more time for him to get to know me before I had to explain these things to him.

"After breakfast, Edward," I muttered, bowing my head. "I need to be at my booth by ten to check the gray water supply, but between breakfast and then I'm all yours. I'll tell you anything you want to know." I still whispered, afraid if I spoke any louder, my voice would crack from the amount of tension between us.

Edward just nodded his head and straightened up, moving a few steps away from the table…from me.

I looked over at Alice as the fire in my chest burned me from the inside out. She squeezed my hand and gave me a sad smile as I contemplated what I was going to say to Edward.

There was no handbook here; no script to tell me what words would soothe him. This was one hundred percent on me, and that thought was terrifying. I knew I only had one shot, one attempt to get him to understand my gift. I needed to determine how to convince him what happened was an accident, that I would never use my gift to cause him pain intentionally.

I needed him to see my clairvoyance as a part of my charm, like my sense of humor, and not as something that defined me. I knew from past experiences it could be difficult for people to separate the gift from the rest the girl. To look beyond the unusual attribute and see the person standing behind it. I prayed with all I had that Edward would see me - the real me, the whole me - and accept my apologies for losing control.

This wouldn't be the first time I had to explain how my clairvoyance worked, but it would be the first time I had to tell someone for whom I had such strong feelings. I wanted him to listen to me. I wanted him to accept me for who I was without fear. I wanted him not to judge me just because I sensed things other people didn't. Unfortunately, my experiences with people outside the carnival world had not been good ones. They didn't listen or accept, but they did fear and they did judge.

The air around Esme's suddenly felt weighed down by the reality of the situation. As I reached the door of the mobile home, Edward glanced over at me, anger clearly evident in his eyes. This was not going to be pleasant…for either one of us.

.

.

.


	5. Vines

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

_._

Breakfast with Esme was…awkward. Edward avoided my teary gaze as he picked at his food, while Alice kept looking worriedly between the two of us. Esme tried to engage the three of us with random bits of gossip about the other carnies. When that didn't work, she peppered Edward with questions, but the conversation always stalled, leading us back into the uncomfortable silence. When I couldn't take the stress any longer, I excused myself from the picnic table to wash the dishes. Esme followed me inside and closed the door behind her.

"Bella, is everything all right?" she asked. I knew she recognized the tension between Edward and me. Her precognition allowed her to see events before they occurred, and I couldn't help but wonder if she already knew what had happened. I had a moment of dread, wondering if she would be upset once she knew I had shocked her nephew, but I quickly pushed it aside. Deep down I knew she would understand my temporary lack of control and not judge me for it.

"Yes…no…I don't know," I replied. "I can't seem to wrap my head around everything that's happening, everything that needs to happen. It's just so overwhelming." I sniffed as I fought back the tears threatening to escape.

I stared out the little window, watching Edward and Alice talk quietly to each other in the sun. I noticed Edward fidgeting with a small, white bottle, his long fingers wrapping around it easily. Esme followed my eyes but said nothing as she waited patiently for me to continue. She knew me well enough to understand I sometimes needed to be tugged out of my thoughts a bit – and I knew her well enough to know when she was about to start the tugging.

"Well, when I feel overwhelmed by something, I go back to the beginning and try to work my way forward again," she said slowly, looking at me with nothing but concern on her face. "Start on solid ground. That way you can find the point when it became a quagmire. Then maybe you can find your way across or around the messy parts."

We stood silently in her little kitchen as I absorbed what she was saying. The difficulty was I didn't know where the beginning was anymore. When I first realized my gift? When I joined the carnival? When I met Edward? Each event twisted around and through the next, knotting together until I could no longer tell one from another.

"You know I'm always here to listen if you need someone to talk it through with," Esme said quietly, once again tugging lightly to get me out of my head. I knew if anyone could help sort out the tangled web I felt trapped in at that moment, it was Esme.

I looked into her green eyes, so much like Edward's in their color and depth. Her hair was lighter, more auburn, but the similarities between her and her nephew were undeniable. Recognizing this made my heart ache that much more.

"He's my fíorghrá, Esme," I whispered. "When I saw him Friday night I felt the pull, and I knew. Nothing I've experienced as a bystander, no emotion I've ever felt before could have prepared me for that moment. I've never been so drawn to another person." I stopped and stared out the window once more, watching the wind play in Edward's ginger locks. The sun brought out brighter red highlights on top of his head, making it appear almost as if his hair was somehow lit from within. He was absolutely dazzling.

"Fíorghrá - the man that _should_ love me unconditionally," I said, as every insecurity I felt about Edward and me came to the forefront. "But there is so much that could go wrong – that already has."

I paused, looking into the face I knew almost as well as my own to see only love and support. "I shocked him, Esme," I whispered, completely ashamed and embarrassed. "I haven't told him about my gift, any of it, and this morning I let my emotions get the better of me. One minute we were happy and laughing, and then," I sighed and shook my head, "then I was angry and jealous. The next thing I knew I had knocked him to his knees and probably scared the living daylights out of him.

"This wasn't how I wanted him to find out. I thought if we could get to know each other a bit before I told him it would be easier, but now I've backed myself into a corner. How do I explain my gift is just a harmless part of me if I've already caused him pain because of it?

"And he…he's going to have to accept me and my gift if there is any chance of us being together. What if he…can't? What if he sees me as 'Bella the clairvoyant' and not just Bella? What if he doesn't want to deal with all that comes with being with people like me, like us? What if he's afraid of what I can do and doesn't want to be with me?"

Tears streamed down my face as I admitted my deepest fears to the woman I viewed as a second mother. Esme had been a teacher and a friend for many years, her nurturing nature healing all the pain the outside world inflicted on a daily basis. Her compassion for the children around her was evident in her every word, every touch. She was also fiercely protective of her loved ones. I was blessed to be considered a surrogate daughter to her. I also knew she would do anything she could to help me through this difficult time.

Esme gazed at me for a few moments before wrapping her arms around my shoulders and holding me close. The contact unleashed a fresh wave of tears, and I cried into her embrace as she gently rubbed my back. When I was finally able to control my sobs, she pulled back to look at me once more.

"First things first," she stated, her eyes locked with mine. "You are a beautiful, talented, charismatic young lady. My nephew would be a fool not to see that. Second, there is nothing…_nothing_…to fear about you. You have a wonderful, unique way to perceive the world around you. And yes, I know the energy absorption can be uncomfortable, but you would never intentionally hurt someone. You've already learned to control it most of the time. I'm sure there will come a day when you'll no longer shock the dickens out of people when you get a little…overexcited." She smirked at me, and I blushed, remembering other times and other people I had shocked.

"And third," she said, her voice softening. "Your gift is just a small part of you. It does _not_ define who you are or who you'll become. Do _not_ allow anyone to make you feel like they're better than you simply because you know things they don't."

"How do I do this?" I whispered so quietly I worried she hadn't heard me. "How do I tell a virtual stranger my deepest, darkest secrets? I know almost nothing about him, about his life. Only the little glimpses I've gotten from hearing you and Alice talk about him over the years. I have no idea how he's going to react, and that terrifies me. He seemed so angry after I shocked him. What if he can't forgive me?"

Esme tilted her head and gave me a small smile as she considered my questions.

"You just tell him, Bella," she said finally. "You sit him down, and you lay it all out on the table. _All_ of it. You can't control his reaction to what you're going to say, so don't try. Just be honest with him. No one said this would be easy. You have a deep, soulful connection, but that doesn't mean you won't have to work at being together. It doesn't mean everything will magically fall into place.

"Tell him what he needs to know, what he has the right to know, before he lets his imagination take over. Then give him a chance to get over the shock of such a fabulous, talented, stunning woman desiring his affections," she said with a smile as I rolled my eyes at her. She giggled softly before turning serious once more and cupping my face in her hands.

"Once this has passed and you two are on firmer ground, take your time getting to know each other. Allow your heart to lead you to where you want to be; don't try to fight against it," she said. She had tears in her eyes as she stared into mine.

She finally pulled away, releasing my face and giving me a soft smile once more.

"And there are no rules saying you have to get married and live happily ever after the moment you meet your fíorghrá," she said, sounding almost sad. "Don't forget that, Bella."

"Alice gave me similar advice after Edward left us in the pavilion Friday night," I replied quietly.

Esme's eyes sparkled as she smiled at me.

"My daughter is a very wise woman," she said, laughing. "I wonder where she got that from." She winked at me before holding out her hands for me to take. I knew this was an invitation for her to read my future. Esme's visions did not require physical contact, but her power was strongest when she held hands with the person she was reading.

I placed my hands in hers and watched as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. After a few minutes of silence, she opened her eyes and stared at me intensely. I felt the goosebumps rise on my arms.

"Fear...upside down," Esme murmured. She looked out the window toward Edward with a look of concern before turning back to me. "I do believe you two need to talk. I also believe you will need some privacy for this conversation. The carnival doesn't open for a few hours yet, and my tent is set up already. I recommend you and Edward go there for this discussion. If you use the reading room, people walking by won't be able to hear anything you say." With that, she released my hands from her grip and turned to finish washing the dishes in the sink.

I felt a little disappointed. I had hoped she would tell me how Edward would react to knowing about me, but I understood why she held back. People tended to change their actions when they knew the likely outcome. Esme would want Edward and me to be true and honest to our instincts.

As I turned to leave the comfort of her home, Esme called out once more. "Oh, and Bella? Alice was thinking of you when she was setting up the tarot card display last night. Please try to remember those cards are priceless antiques, handed down through my family for generations. Do be careful." She glanced at me, giving me a small wink before she turned back to the sink and began to hum.

I paused at the door, feeling confused and anxious, but I knew I couldn't delay this any longer. My eyes met Edward's as I stepped out into the sun. The suspicion I saw there confirmed my decision…it was time. I nodded my head toward the carnival grounds and walked, assuming he would follow me. I continued on in front of him, feeling like I was trudging down the green mile. I was on my way to my execution at the hands of the only man I was destined to love.

**xXxXx**

The smell of baking bread and patchouli incense caressed my senses. They comforted me as I entered the fortuneteller tent in the heart of the midway. I heard Edward behind me, following me into the dark space, as I walked to the side room where Esme performed her readings. With the heavy drapery closed, the room was virtually soundproof. This would give Edward and me an amount of privacy we would not be able to get anywhere else at this time of day without leaving the carnival grounds completely.

Edward released the cloth on both sides of the doorway as I moved to the far side of the space. I felt the need for distance right now, knowing his caramel-rain scent and the flames in my chest would be enough of a distraction to me. I had to concentrate to be able to find a path through my convoluted thoughts if I was ever going to be able to tell him about my gift.

"Bella?" Edward's angry voice reached me through the tendrils of thoughts running rampant in my head. I moved slowly to face him. He was sitting on the small chaise Esme kept in here for patrons to relax on, though very few ever used it. They tended to sit in one of the two oversized wingback armchairs she always placed in the center of the room. I headed to the chair closest to Edward. I turned it to face him and sat cautiously on the edge of my seat, not meeting his gaze.

"I was six when I first realized there was something different about me," I began softly, memorizing the patterns in the rug beneath my feet as I bared my soul. "I remember telling a couple of my friends about the way the air felt and smelled. Specifically, I explained how I could smell the clouds and the thunder and I knew a storm was coming. They laughed at me and told me clouds and thunder didn't have a scent. I didn't understand what they meant. I had always assumed everyone noticed the same things I did. I kept trying, explaining different scents, like sunshine and fear. The more I spoke, the more they laughed. They told me I was crazy and called me…" I paused, hating the word I was about to utter, "…they called me a freak," I whispered, feeling my eyes tear up at the memory of the hatefulness in their voices.

"They wouldn't sit at the same table as me in class anymore…no one would. I remember crying in the bathroom and begging to go home. I remember the look on my mom's face when she came to pick me up. When I told her what had happened, she said that kids were mean and there was nothing wrong with me. I believed her." I glanced at Edward but his eyes were on his hands as they clenched and unclenched in front of him.

"Over the next couple of years that same situation kept repeating itself. I would mention something about the sensations I perceived, and other kids, people I thought were my friends, would call me names and pull away. My mom tried to help me, to be understanding and supportive. She would listen to me ramble about the energy or the scents in my life, but she didn't really believe it was anything other than my overactive imagination. As I got older, I began predicting more events – storms, happy days, bad days, fights – nothing too specific, not like Esme and Alice." I looked at him again and noticed his head shaking slowly back and forth. I silently begged him to look at me but to no avail.

"Renee still listened as I got older, but I could tell she was worrying about me. By that time, I had withdrawn completely from other kids...all other people, really. I had no friends and no social life. I went to school, sat quietly in the back, went home and read myself to sleep every day. I wasn't a person; I was a ghost. The only time anyone really noticed me was when I entered a new school, which happened a lot. My mom moved us around, always restless – a gypsy at heart. We were never in one place long enough for me to make friends, not that I would have tried to, really, but the option would have been nice.

"When Renee met Phil seven years ago, my entire world changed. We moved into his VW bus and started traveling with Eclipse, which is how I met Esme and Alice. Esme was…an angel to me. She knew the minute she met me I had a gift and I was struggling with it – that I was letting it consume me. She worked with me over the years, explaining how my clairvoyance works, what I could do with it, how to control it without letting it control me. It's a difficult balance sometimes to keep from letting it overpower me-"

"Wait," Edward interrupted. "I don't understand. I thought clairvoyant meant perceiving things that normal people can't. If you're clairvoyant, how did you shock me? What was that jolt I felt?"

I looked up and glared at him, noticing the redness of his eyes. I did not like the way he differentiated between the clairvoyant and those that he considered 'normal' people. His face was tight, his gaze intense, as he leaned forward on the chaise with his elbows resting on his knees.

"Patience, Edward. We'll get there," I replied, sitting back in the chair and closing my eyes. I was tired and emotionally drained, but I knew the end of my story was near, so I forced myself to continue.

"My powers changed when I became an adult – strengthened, I guess you would say. I was able to feel more of the energy in the air and noticed how solid it felt at times – like it was a physical being stroking my skin. I talked to Esme about it, but she had never heard of such a thing, so we waited and watched." I took a deep breath in preparation of the next part, curling my hands into fists as they began to shake.

"A few months after I turned eighteen, I was attacked as I walked to my trailer after work. I had been feeling anxious all day. Esme, Alice and I knew something bad was going to happen, but we were unable to pinpoint what it was. Esme had told all the girls to stay in groups that night, but I didn't listen to her – I was tired, cranky and just wanted to get to my trailer, so I left the grounds alone. A man came out from behind one of the campers and grabbed me, picking me up off my feet and covering my mouth with his hand.

"He was dragging me toward the edge of the parking lot when I felt this staggering rush of anger and fear. It charged the air, swirling and pulsing against my body. This energy was physically painful, something I had never experienced before that moment. I screamed from the pain. When I did, the man just let me go, and we both fell to the ground. He was struggling to stand up, stumbling in his rush to get away from me. He kept screaming at me, calling me a freak and a witch. I figured out later when the energy of my emotions reached their limit, they overflowed into him, causing a painful shock…like what you felt this morning," I said, pausing to take a breath and chancing a quick glance at Edward.

His elbows were still on his knees, but now his trembling hands were cradling his head, and he was looking at the floor of the tent. I had an almost irrepressible desire to run my fingers through his hair, to comfort him, but I stayed in my seat. I doubted he would welcome my touch right now.

"I've shocked a few people since then - not intentionally, of course - but if my emotions are out of control, it happens. This morning when Lauren called me a freak, I lost control. There was this horrible twisting feeling in my stomach. I should have realized my emotions were overpowering me, but I didn't. I just didn't think," I said. I stared at him, wishing he would meet my gaze as I said the only thing I had left to say.

"Edward, I am so sorry for hurting you like that. I swear on everything I hold dear I would never intentionally cause you pain...of any kind. You're…very special to me," I said. The last few words were barely a whisper as they left my mouth, my body sinking further into the chair as my strength gave out.

I waited patiently for a response. After a few minutes of listening to Edward breathe, I turned to look down at the tarot cards Alice had left on the small table beside me. I noticed the yellowed paper, the small rips and curls, the elegant Celtic knot-work drawn on each card. They truly were beautiful; I could understand why Esme would choose to display them in here.

I heard Edward sigh, and I looked up. He was standing, looking up at the ceiling, as he ran his hands through his hair. The emotions on what little I could see of his face flashed too fast for me to decipher. I sat and waited, hoping he could find a way to express to me how he felt. It took several minutes before he looked toward me.

"Bella…I just…I don't know what to say," he stammered. "I'm having a hard time coming to grips with everything right now. I came here to get away from the stress in my life. I thought a summer trailing around after Aunt Esme and Alice would be fun, a distraction from reality. Then I get here, and I meet you, and you're…" His eyes finally met mine, and I saw so much anger and pain in them. I lost the tenuous grasp I had on my tears, and they cascaded down my face.

"Jesus, Bella, you're beautiful and funny and charming, and I felt this…_need_ to be next to you, to spend time with you. I've never felt anything like it. Hell, I haven't even been on a date in almost five years, not since before the accident; yet within hours of meeting you, I'm standing at your booth, wishing like hell I had the guts to ask you to go out with me." He took a slight step toward me, then paused, finally retreating to stand in front of the chaise lounge once more. He ran his hands through his hair violently and looked toward the fabric door.

"You know, my father would just love this," he said with a harsh chuckle. "I finally meet my soul mate, and she's…" He stopped speaking, his incomplete thought weighing heavily between us.

"She's what, Edward?" I asked, fearing what he was about to say. I felt my own anger ramp up as he looked at me with something akin to disgust.

"She's a carnie who thinks being able to smell thunder is a gift," he spat.

Neither of us moved as his words hung in the air around us. I knew there had to be more he needed to say, but he was holding himself back. That just wouldn't do. I would forever wonder if I didn't convince him to admit everything to me.

"What else, Edward?" I asked. He didn't answer at first, pausing for a few beats as he glowered at me.

"What else?" I demanded.

"She's charming, but she's a _carnie,_ so it's probably conniving," he said, stressing the word carnie in a way that emphasized his abhorrence to my profession. "She's sweet, but she's a _carnie,_ so it's probably manipulative. She's smart but apparently not smart enough to figure out how to hide these flaws in the normal world." He glared at me, anger practically rolling off him in waves.

"Excuse me?" I said, my temper igniting as I absorbed exactly what he had just said. "Flaws? The normal world? So, tell me, Judgey McJudgerson, what exactly is your definition of normal? And just who the fuck gave you the power to define it?" I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him. His eyes hardened as he looked back at me, and he clenched his jaw.

"This…_this_!" he yelled, throwing his arms to the side. "Traveling from place to place, living in a mobile home, running games, conning people…this is _not normal_. Deciding whether a day will be good or bad based on _the air_ is not normal. Smelling _clouds_ is not normal. Then you tell me that in the fucked up world you choose to live in, you are even _more_ abnormal? Wonderful! It's like you're the biggest freak amongst the freaks!" He finished his rant and dropped his arms, staring at me with a shocked expression as the color drained from his face. I knew that look – he said more than he wanted to. He let his emotions get the better of him, and now he wished he had kept quiet.

However, he hadn't kept quiet. He said it - all of it. His words hit me in that secret spot where the little girl with no friends hid inside of me, that place where she cried all alone and remembered the way people hurt her for being able to do things they could not even comprehend.

Edward's words hit me in the only place I could truly be hurt…and I was.

The pain of his admission ripped through my heart, making me feel as if it would stop beating at any moment. If meeting Edward was like gravity pulling us together, this feeling - this agony - was the polar opposite. All I wanted to do was get away from him - immediately. But before the little girl I had been could run, the woman I had grown into needed to protect and defend herself from the harsh words of the man before her.

I took a step closer to Edward, stopping less than two feet away from him. I looked up into his face and saw nothing but shock. His mouth was hanging open slightly, and he stared at me with wide eyes. I gave him a long, lingering look before I pulled my right arm back and swung it forward with all of my strength, landing my fist squarely on his nose.

Edward grunted and his head snapped back as he stumbled. When he regained his balance, he bent forward at the waist, cupping his hands around his nose as his eyes watered. I felt a twinge in my chest, a need to help my fíorghrá, but I ignored it. This man had the power to destroy me with his prejudice_,_ and I would not allow that to happen.

"I don't _live_ in a mobile home, Edward," I spat at him. "I have a travel trailer I utilize when I'm working on the road. I also happen to own a lovely home in Tennessee I use as my permanent residence. And I do not _con_ my patrons. My game is fair, and there's a winner every round – no tricks. I chose to buy my business and stay with my carnie family because I love it; I love the travel, I love the people I work with, and I love seeing my patrons smile when I hand them their prize. I bring joy to their lives, even if it's only for a moment. I think I'm a pretty nice person, and I see no need to try and manipulate people in any way shape or form. And you're right; I am smart. Smart enough to realize my life is no better or worse than anyone else's is. Neither you nor I are in any position to judge people on how they choose to live in this world." I stepped away from him, toward the door, as I felt my anger ebbing and flowing.

"Being clairvoyant may not be normal in your world, but it's not exactly out of the realm of possibilities in mine," I said, my voice softer than before. "In this carnival alone I know of two precogs, two telekenetics and a woman who can harness and control electrical impulses. I fit right in with all of these amazing, talented women. The fact that my gift has morphed into something stronger doesn't make me more of a…what did you call me? Oh, right…more of a _freak_." I sneered at him, putting every ounce of hatred I had for that name into the word. "It simply makes me unique amongst individuals who don't fit a stereotype. Maybe you should head back to your boring little vanilla life if you can't handle the variety."

Edward was standing straight again; the green of his watery eyes a perfect complement to the red of the blood on his face.

He looked at me with pain and remorse on his face. "Bella…" he whispered as he reached a hand toward me, but I stepped back and glared at him.

"Don't," I spit. "I can't control the energy right now." I took a deep breath and held it for a count of five, concentrating my thoughts on what I wanted to say to him.

My heart - that burned to be near him - was calling out '_Don't Go'_ in a syncopated rhythm. My head was louder, though. It told me I didn't know that much about him, that I had been alone a long time, and I had handled it just fine...that I didn't need him in my life.

I found myself staring at the tarot cards again, my fists clenched at my sides. I felt an overwhelming desire to hit something…throw something…break something. I was fighting off the urge to throw the table, and thereby the cards, across the room when I noticed the pattern Alice had lain out.

It was a standard three-card spread, the positions signifying the past, the present and the future. I had been confused when Esme had mentioned the cards earlier, but seeing them there, knowing Alice had been thinking of me when she pulled them out of the deck, made Esme's actions so much clearer. She wanted me to see this.

Each card held multiple meanings and could easily be misinterpreted, but Alice was a tarot expert and had taught me well. I saw through the superfluous definitions of the cards to what I believed they were trying to say.

Past – Page of Wands - Sudden love and/or anger.

Present – reversed Two of Cups - Loss of balance, a misunderstanding.

Future – Six of Swords - A journey, moving away from sorrow.

The cards were spelling out my time with Edward - sudden love, loss and moving away. Esme told me I needed to go back to the beginning and she was right, as always. I needed to go back to where I could stand on solid ground if I was ever going to find a way out of this emotional quicksand.

I turned toward Edward once more and drank him in, memorizing every detail, knowing this may very well be the last time I would ever see him.

"I care for you, Edward," I whispered, finally laying everything out on the table. "I never knew what I was missing until the moment I walked up to you in the pavilion, but now I do. I know exactly how empty my chest is going to be when you leave because I can feel your presence around my heart. I know exactly how cold my body is going to be because I will never forget the warmth of being in your arms. And I will forever live in the muted reality of my life without you because no one else will ever cover my world in a kaleidoscope of color the way you do.

"Nevertheless, if you asked me to choose between my gift and you, my fíorghrá…I would choose my gift. I refuse to live a life of nothing but beige just to fit in amongst a bunch of people who couldn't care less about me. I choose to live with people that love me, that know me, and accept what is different about me. I choose the carnies, I choose this gypsy lifestyle and I choose my gift because at least my gift will never break my heart by calling me a freak."

Then, ignoring the pain, ignoring the ardent pull to be near him, I ran.

I heard him call my name as I rushed out the front of the tent, but I didn't pause as I sped toward my trailer. My heart ached as if it had been shattered into a million pieces, and my tears ran in twin rivers, falling from my eyes. I wondered if they would ever stop, if this crushing pain would ever release me.

Other carnies called to me as I passed them, obviously concerned, but I didn't answer them. I knew if I stopped – if I even paused for a moment – the gravity would pull me right back to the torture of Edward's disdain. I couldn't think about stopping, I couldn't think about the flames surrounding my heart, I couldn't think about the gut-wrenching agony of separating myself from my fíorghrá. The only thing I could think about, the only thing I could focus on, was the one thing I knew I needed in this instant – escape.

When I reached my trailer, I realized I needed to keep running. This wasn't far enough away from Edward. I could feel the pull to be near him intensifying as I tried to determine where I could run to next. I cried out at the pain in my chest and curled my upper body inward, begging for relief.

Suddenly the aroma of warm bread and cut grass caressed me as I felt a small hand on my shoulder. I turned quickly, unable to control the sob that left my chest as Esme and Phil both wrapped their arms around me. I clung to my dad as I sobbed in his embrace, absorbing every ounce of comfort I could. I had never needed him more than I did at that moment.

"Bella, baby," Phil said. "Esme thinks you need to go home for awhile." His arms pulled me closer as I felt his tears in my hair. "Baby girl, please stop crying. It kills me when you cry," he mumbled, his lips brushing the top of my head. I took a deep breath and tried to control the torrent of tears.

Phil was quiet as he rocked me lightly from side to side. "Your truck's all ready for you; I even made sure it had a full tank of gas. Esme said it would be easier for both of you if we didn't tell your mom. She would try to convince you to stay."

"Thanks, Dad," I replied as I buried my face in his chest.

"You need to go now, Bella," Esme said, her arms still around me. "Everything will be all right here. Your mom will take care of your booth, and we'll deal with your trailer."

I backed away from the two of them as they released me from their hold. The despair on Phil's face caused my heart to skip and a fresh wave of tears to fall. I was about to turn toward my truck when Esme grabbed me once more and whispered in my ear.

"Go back to the beginning, Bella. You'll find your solid ground there, but you need to go now. If you don't, you could lose him forever." She released me and took a step back toward Phil.

"I'll call you when I get there," I said as I grabbed the keys from him and hopped into my truck.

I spotted Edward and Alice across the parking lot, but I barely registered their presence before I was tearing down the aisle. Seconds later, my truck screamed onto the highway, leaving the carnival behind.

As I drove past the city limits, I noticed fields and trees covered in a broad-leafed plant. I recognized it as Kudzu…a kind of vine. It spread relentlessly and strangled all other plant life in its way until all that remained were acres and acres of matching leaves. Every field looked the same, structured and regimented. The bland, uniform vine had strangled out the varying plant life that was there before. I sobbed for the fields, knowing they would probably never be released from the prison of vines again. I wouldn't let that happen to me; I wouldn't let someone's prejudice force me into a life of lies and hiding. I would not allow myself to become another indistinguishable person living out a beige existence.

To prove to myself that I was free - that I decided the whens and the wheres of my life - I drove away while my heart screeched in agony. I drove across town lines and county lines and state lines.

I drove away from vines and electricity, away from caramel and rain.

.

.

.


	6. Cinnamon & Honeybees

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

.

The trip from Trion, Georgia to my cottage outside of Knoxville, Tennessee should have taken a little over three hours. I spent much of the drive fluctuating between feeling enraged about what Edward said to sobbing in agony as my heart burned to ash over and over again. When the intensity of my tears impaired my vision, I pulled over on the side of the road and allowed myself time to grieve.

By the time I finally turned into the drive of my quaint, red cottage, I had been in the car for over five hours. My mind felt numbed by its journey from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other, and my body was barely functioning in a state of utter exhaustion.

There were only three homes around the small lake on the western border of the Smoky Mountain National Park. One belonged to Sam and Emily Uley. Sam was the carnie who sold me my truck, trailer and game booth after he met Emily. I fell in love with my cottage when my mom and I drove past it on the way to pick up the truck and trailer. I happened to mention how adorable the wood-sided house was to Emily as we waited for Sam to hitch the trailer to the truck. Six months later Sam called to tell me the cottage was for sale. I contacted the real estate agent immediately and bought my first home two weeks later.

There was something so magical about this area - the mountains in the distance, the lake in between and the forest all around. There was no better place to get away from the stress of working and spend time alone. The gypsy in me loved being on the road, but there was a part of me that felt more at peace in this little building nestled at the foot of the Appalachian Mountains than I could anywhere else in the world.

As I stepped onto the front porch, the ache in my heart calmed, and the residual tension in my body drained away. This was home. This was exactly where I needed to be.

This was my solid ground.

I opened the front door and wrinkled my nose at the musty smell that met me. Whenever I was traveling with the carnival, Sam and Emily kept an eye on my cottage. They collected my mail and drove by occasionally to make sure everything was as it should be. Normally I would call Emily to let her know when I was coming home, and she would open all the windows to air out the place. My rapid departure from the carnival grounds meant I'd forgotten a few things – one of which was calling Emily to open up the cottage. I walked across the pine floors to open all the windows and doors on the bottom level.

The people who owned the cottage before me spent a lot of money upgrading it from an old, dark, wood-filled space to something light, bright and airy. The front half contained the living room with a two-story fieldstone fireplace on the right and the stairs leading to the second floor on the left. There was no second story on this part of the house, so the ceilings climbed to the roofline. Four skylights above brought sunlight into the space and helped illuminate the loft above.

The kitchen and dining area took up the back half of the first floor. The kitchen was a simple L-shape of maple cabinets and black granite countertops. There were no upper cabinets along the back wall. Instead, there was a large picture window above the long counter. The back wall in the dining area featured two sets of French doors overlooking the deck, the lake and the mountains beyond. There was also a small half bath, a pantry and a laundry room just off the side of the dining area, between the stairs to the upper level and the back wall.

The hallway along the second story landing overlooked the living room. The doors to the two bedrooms opened onto this hallway at opposite ends. Between the bedrooms was a spacious, shared bathroom, although it had no access from the hallway. Each bedroom had large windows on two walls but no closets, which lent to the open feel of the space.

A soft breeze blew in across the lake, bringing with it the scent of pine, water and the purple passionflower that dotted the edge of the woods nearby. I tried to focus on all the things I needed to do – clean the house, pull the outdoor furniture from the shed, sweep the deck and porch, drive into town to buy groceries. The list grew as I stood immobile, staring out over the smooth water of Twilight Lake. Even as I stood and thought, my mind continually returned to Edward. What would he have thought of my cottage? Would he love the view of the mountains and the lake as much as I did? Would the peacefulness of the area relax him as it relaxed me?

I brushed my hand across my face and felt wetness from the tears continuing to fall. I forced my thoughts away from Edward and turned from the beautiful view. Wallowing was not going to bring me anything other than pain.

Instead of being productive, I moved to the fireplace in the living room. There were bookshelves on either side holding novels, trinkets and pictures. I picked up my childhood scrapbook and walked to the couch, settling myself into the goose down comfort.

I flipped through the pages slowly, smiling at my baby pictures and cringing at my awkward years. The older I was in the pictures, the more sullen I appeared – the less I smiled. Two-thirds of the way through the book, I spotted the first picture taken of Alice and me. The change in my demeanor was obvious. I wore a huge smile on my face, my arm thrown around her shoulders as she wrapped both of hers around me in a hug. We were standing cheek-to-cheek in front of Phil's old VW bus, somewhere in Arizona.

I smiled as I remembered how quickly we had become friends. The little gnome probably knew me better than anyone did, and I missed her spunky attitude already.

As if on cue, my phone rang with Alice's ringtone – Tori Amos' version of _Strange Little Gi__rl_.

"I was just thinking about you," I said after I pressed the green connect button.

"I figured as much. My Bella-bits were a-tinglin'," she replied.

"You know, if that keeps up you should really go see a doctor. Tingling in your bits could be a sign of many horrible things."

"My bits like to tingle," she said slyly. "Now tell me, what in the hell is going on? You've got half the carnies in a tizzy over your dash to freedom."

I sighed as I wondered what people must be thinking. I knew I must have looked insane, running through the camp with tears streaming down my face.

"He doesn't want me, Alice," I whispered in return.

"Oh, Bella. What makes you think he doesn't want you?" she asked.

I brought my legs up onto the couch, curling my body into the corner.

"Well, let's see. He doesn't want to deal with all the stuff that comes along with my gift. He basically told me I was conniving and manipulative because I work for the carnival. Oh, and let's not forget when he said I wasn't smart enough to hide in the _nor__mal_ world."

"Well, shit," she replied. We were both silent for a long moment, simply breathing into our phones.

"I don't really know what to say here. I'm not going to make excuses for his words because there are none. But he's absolutely wrong about you."

"You're biased," I said. I pulled the quilt from the back of the couch and wrapped it around myself, more for mental than physical comfort.

"Bullshit. You ask just about any person that works for Eclipse, and they'll tell you the same thing. You're sweet, caring and generous without a dishonest bone in your body. Besides, do you think I'd be best friends with someone conniving or manipulative? I have better instincts than that, miss."

"He said my life wasn't normal," I said as the tears began to fall again.

"Trying to fit every person into one tiny little box of conformity isn't normal. And who gave him the power to decide what is and isn't normal?"

I snorted at the realization of how alike Alice and I truly were.

"I'm pretty sure I said almost the exact same thing to him,"

"That's because it's the truth. No one gets to tell us what is or isn't normal. Besides, who wants to be indistinguishable from everyone else? There's nothing wrong with adding a little color to the world."

I pulled the quilt over my head and settled into the darkness it provided. "I punched him in the nose," I said.

"I know. I told you those boxing lessons with Emmett would pay off for us one day."

I sighed and hid my face in the cushions of the couch, fear and pain racing through me as I whispered the one part of my talk with Edward I wished I could erase from my memory.

"He called me a freak, Alice."

My whisper was met with a small gasp and then silence. Alice and I had been called freaks on numerous occasions. We both found the word offensive and extremely insulting. I wasn't sure how she would react to her own family using such a word against her friend.

After several seconds, I heard the sound of movement and Alice's increased breath.

"We. Are. Not. Freaks," she growled into the phone. I heard music in the background but couldn't place the song. It was slow and sad, like a funeral dirge in a minor key.

"Alice, where are you?" I asked. She didn't answer. After a few moments, I tried again.

"Alice? What are you doing?"

"I'm about to knock some sense into my arrogant, narrow-minded, holier-than-though, full of shit cousin. I'll call you back." Our connection ended abruptly. I stared at my phone for a moment, as if it would offer me insight into what was happening back in Georgia.

**xXxXx**

The gold light of dawn and the smell of cinnamon, peace and morning dew forced me from sleep. I opened one eye and looked around. I must have fallen asleep after talking to Alice the afternoon before. I was on my couch in the great room, still wrapped in my old quilt, clutching my cell phone in my hand. I pressed a button to check the time, but the phone stayed dark.

"Dead battery," I whispered to the empty room.

I stood up and stretched, then climbed the stairs to the loft slowly. I entered my bedroom at the end of the hall and walked to the side of my bed.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed. I had lost the phone charger I kept in my trailer over the winter. I took the one that normally stayed on my nightstand when I left for the season, thinking I would stop and pick up a new one before I returned home. Without a way to charge my cell phone, I would have no means to communicate with my friends and family. I would have to drive to the electronics store in Knoxville to get a new charger.

One more item to add to my long list of things to do today.

Instead of dealing with my responsibilities, I decided to go for a run to clear my head. It was still early, just barely seven in the morning. I changed into some running clothes from my armoire and grabbed my backup iPod from the dock near my desktop computer. This reminded me I'd also left my laptop and USB stick in my trailer. Without that stick, I had no internet access. I would need to get the charger for my phone this morning so I could call my mom. I wanted to make sure she knew I was okay and ask her to take all of my valuables out of the trailer before they stored it.

Pushing those thoughts to the side, I hurried down the stairs and out the front door. I selected my _Heartbreak_ playlist and began my stretching ritual. Once my muscles felt warmed up and Emily West was singing _Blue Sky_, I stepped off the porch and ran slowly into the pine forest to the north.

This was my favorite running trail. It wrapped all the way around Twilight Lake. I could choose a couple of different spurs along the way that lead into the foothills or toward the little town just south of the lake. Usually my emotions were restful when I ran this trail but not today. Today the trail only brought me anger and pain.

The farther I ran away from my cottage, the hotter the flames engulfing my heart burned. I increased my pace and tried to focus on breathing in counts of eight. I pushed the ache in my chest down and held back the tears stinging my eyes, threatening to fall. As I passed a deer grazing along the edge of the path, I realized I was no longer hearing the music from my iPod. Instead, Edward's words were dancing around in my head.

_Not normal, conniving, manipulative, freak._

When I reached the edge of the Uley's property, I changed course, heading east for the hills climbing toward Thunderhead Mountain. I needed the challenge of the incline. I needed to feel my legs ache from exertion. I needed to do something to force Edward's words from my mind.

_Not normal, conniving, manipulative, freak._

The muscles in my thighs burned from the war they were raging against the slope of rocks and dirt. Sweat dampened my hairline and skimmed along my face. When it reached my eyes, I lost what little restraint I had and allowed the tears to fall of their own will. My breath came in pants as my lungs conceded to the chaos methodically engulfing my body.

_Not normal, conniving, manipulative, freak._

At the summit of the hill, I tripped and fell to my knees. My body collapsed in a heap of muscle and bone, sweat, and blood. Tears streamed down my face as I finally surrendered fully to the pain surrounding me. I felt weak. I felt powerless. I felt defeated.

I felt completely alone.

From the first time I experienced the connection between Phil and Renee, I wanted the same thing. I wanted to feel that kind of love. I wanted to feel the beat of two hearts connected. I wanted someone to take care of me in the same way I would take care of them.

I wanted someone to tell me I was the most important person in his life.

Yet, instead of hearing words of love and support from my fíorghrá, I heard words of fear and hate.

_Not normal, conniving, manipulative, freak._

I didn't calculate how long I lay on the ground, my tears soaking into the earth below me. I didn't acknowledge the sun caressing my skin or the scent of honeybees and peace swirling across my senses. I didn't respond to the whisper of the wind as it wafted through the pine trees, drying my tears.

I didn't resist the desire to open my eyes when I felt blades of grass kiss along my skin in an aria of nature's design.

_Not normal, conniving, manipulative, freak._

After an indeterminable amount of time lying in the grass, staring at the wall of green against my face, I slowly sat up. I gasped as I registered the splendor surrounding me. The sun shined over the mountains to the east, and the sky was a vibrant cornflower blue. The valley below was painted with wildflowers in a watercolor palette of indigo and purple, with warm yellows and oranges accenting the cooler tones. The dark green of the pine trees on the mountain slopes added a shadow to the vivid panorama above and below them. They wrapped themselves around the wildflower canvas, embracing the audaciousness, protecting it from the harshness of the sandstone boulders scattered along the peak.

_Not normal, conniving, manipulative, freak._

The words grew softer as my mind began to see past the veil of pain and rejection to what was staring me in the face.

Reality was a compilation of dazzling colors and beautiful vistas. Those that chose the gypsy lifestyle stood above, protecting the light from the callous judgment of the conformists. I was like that stand of pines, embracing the beauty of the world around me. I saved the radiance of individuality from the extinguishment of homogenization everyday I chose to be something other than vanilla.

_Not normal, conniving, manipulative, freak._

Edward didn't want different. Edward wouldn't accept me for the person I was. Edward wanted a watered down version of me.

_Not normal, conniving, manipulative, freak._

The words tiptoed once more through my head before being carried away on a breath of realization.

Edward wanted beige.

The pain that assaulted me from his words had cut swift and deep, but it withdrew with nothing more than a whisper of regret as I sat in a field amongst one of Mother Nature's greatest masterpieces. I sat for hours in the tall grass of the Appalachian Mountains, under a clear blue sky, with the world rejoicing all around me.

I sat, and I thought.

_Beige would never be enough for me._

I sat, and I acknowledged.

_There was no shame in refusing to submit to the masses._

I sat, and I understood.

_Edward was wrong._

I deserved better than to color my world from a sepia palette when I was blessed to live amongst such a rainbow.

I deserved more than beige.

**xXxXx**

It was late in the day when I made it back to my cottage. The sun was setting in the west, sending sparkles of fire all across the lake. The wind had picked up in the hours since I left, smelling strongly of thunder, and clouds were rolling in from the east. They hung dark and heavy in the sky, obscuring my view of Thunderhead Mountain.

A summer storm was brewing.

I jogged into the cottage and began closing all of the windows in preparation. Storms came up fast and hard here as the warm air from the Gulf of Mexico cooled rapidly over the mountains. It was why Thunderhead Mountain was so aptly named. It was also why I had to replace my pine floors before moving into the house.

I walked to the back of the first floor and noticed a man on my deck. I knew Sam had a cousin that was going to be making some repairs to my gutters while I was gone, and I wondered if this was him. I stepped through a set of the French doors and the aroma of cinnamon and tranquility surrounded me. The combination put a smile on my face.

"Hello," I said. The man jumped and spun around to face me, shock written across his face. "I'm sorry if I startled you. I'm Bella, and this is my cottage."

I offered my hand to him in greeting. He was tall and muscular with honey-colored skin and black hair. I assumed he was around the same age as I was, though his face had a youthful glow about it. He wiped his hand on his jeans before wrapping it around mine and pumping it up and down.

"I'm Jake," he replied. "Sam Uley's cousin. I was just checking to make sure your place hadn't been broken into."

"Broken into?" I asked, confused.

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "I'm real sorry, but Sam told me you wouldn't be back for another month or so. When I drove by and noticed the windows open, I thought maybe someone had forced their way inside."

"Oh, right," I replied. "I forgot to call. I have a little extra time off from the carnival, so I decided to come spend it at home. I'm sorry I wasted your time."

"No worries," he replied with a grin. "I was hoping I'd get a chance to meet you at some point. Anyone who willingly puts a tin roof on their home is someone I want to know."

I laughed a little as I motioned to the stairs leading down off the deck.

"So my tin roof intrigues you?" I asked jokingly. We each took a seat on the deck, our feet on the step below us.

"Well, yeah," he replied. "They're loud, they let in a lot of heat and they're a bitch to keep in working order. Why'd you choose tin over asphalt shingles?"

I turned sideways and leaned against the deck rails so I could look at Jake while I spoke to him.

"I love the sound of rain on a tin roof," I said as he watched me. There was something very calming about Jake's presence, which made me willing to open up more than I normally would with a stranger. "When I was a kid my mom would take me to Washington a couple of times a year to visit my Dad's parents. I hated it there. They were old and sick and didn't like my mom very much. I hated the musty smell of their house; I hated that they would talk about me as if I wasn't in the same room with them; I hated the way my mom would lose her spark whenever we stayed there. What I hated the most, though, was the noise. It rained constantly. My mom and I lived mostly in the deserts of the Southwest, so I wasn't really used to the sound. The constant rumble of the water hitting the roof drove me absolutely insane.

"When I bought this place I immediately had a roofer tear off the shingles and replace them with tin. The sound of the raindrops hitting the metal during a storm is sweeter than any song ever composed. It's worth the extra maintenance to be able to hear a unique concert every time it rains. Plus I had a shit-ton of insulation put in between the joists. That way the place doesn't end up feeling like an oven in the summer," I said with a smile.

Jake stared at me for a beat and then laughed loudly.

"A shit-ton, huh?" he asked with a gleam in his eyes. "Is that a technical term?"

"Why, of course. How can you not know this? Aren't you some kind of handyman or something?" I laughed at our easy banter while the air grew colder around us.

"Something like that," he replied. "I'm almost done with your gutters, by the way. I just need to get a few more pieces of flashing to repair some damage I spotted under your eaves. Once that's done, I can finish running the gutters along the south side of the house."

A cold wind suddenly blew across the deck, and I felt drops of water on my skin.

"The storm's comin'," I said, glancing to the sky as I stood up. "I haven't made it into town yet, so there's not much here by way of food. You're welcome to stay though, so long as you don't mind having soup for dinner."

We reached the doors to the kitchen at the same time and stepped through, the rain falling much harder than a few seconds before. Jake glanced between the door and me and watched the storm begin to rage outside.

"Yeah, I really don't want to drive in this," he said. "Are you sure you don't mind me staying?"

"Not at all," I replied with a smile. "We can sit and listen to the symphony of my tin roof."

He laughed as we moved to close the doors and turn on a few lights.

We spent the evening laughing and talking as the storm played an accompaniment to our budding friendship. He told me about his family and friends back home on a Quileute reservation outside of Seattle. I told him all about life as a carnie and my love affair with the Smoky Mountains.

When the rain finally stopped just before midnight and the sounds of cicadas and bullfrogs filled the night air, we said our goodbyes on my porch.

"It was really nice to meet you, Bella," Jake said. He cautiously wrapped his arms around my shoulders in a friendly embrace.

"You too, Jake," I replied. "You make sure to bring that wife of yours by next time she's in town. I have to meet the woman that puts up with you on a daily basis."

He chuckled as he stepped off the porch and walked to his truck.

"Sure, sure," he said. "Just make sure you keep my little panic attack to yourself. Leah would never let me live that down."

"You mean when that big bolt of lightning flashed over the lake and you squealed like a little girl? Sure thing, Jake. Your secret's safe with me." I giggled at him and he shook his head from the cab of his truck.

"Crazy carnie." He waved once before backing out of my driveway and heading toward the Uley cottage.

I may not have accomplished anything from my to-do list, but I couldn't view the day as a total waste. I made a new friend, which served as a balm for my aching heart.

**xXxXx**

Tuesday morning I was yanked from sleep by a pounding on my front door. I jumped out of bed and threw a short, red robe around myself. As I walked down the stairs, I noticed the scent of leather and honey on the air and I smiled.

"I know you're home! You had better open this door before I break a nail or something!"

I chuckled as I reached the front door. I opened it before the woman on the other side could berate me further.

"Well, well, well," I said as I leaned in the doorway. "Look what the cat dragged all the way to Tennessee."

Tanya Denisov stood on my front porch, her blue Harley-Davidson Sportster parked in the driveway.

"Oh, please," she said with a slight southern lilt to her words. She pushed past me into the living room. "We both know no pussy alive is gonna drag my ass anywhere."

She set her backpack on the floor before looking me over from head to toe.

"So, tell me something, Puddin'," she said. "What the fuck is going on? Sunday Renee's running the Water Race and Phil's all full of piss-and-wind over at the Roll-a-Ball. Then yesterday I run into Miss Esme looking about as happy as a penguin in a microwave. She asked me to move your trailer to the storage lot outside of Ashland because apparently you up and left without it. Now, do you want to tell me what's happening, or are you gonna make me beat it outta you?"

Tanya sat on one end of the couch as she stared at me. I knew many people felt intimidated by her. She was almost six feet tall and gorgeous. She always wore thick, black, false eyelashes and heavy eye makeup to frame her big, blue eyes. Subtle orange and black streaks colored the underside of her strawberry blonde hair, which fell in soft waves just past her shoulders. Her bright red lipstick helped complete a pinup vibe that made men take notice.

She might have looked like a supermodel if it wasn't for the tattoos covering most of her body.

None of that mattered, though. Underneath all the armor she wore, she was just Tanya - a sweet girl from Alabama born to Russian immigrants. Her parents died in a fire when she was twelve. She and her sisters, Kate and Irina, were sent to live with their uncle who worked for a carnival. He ended up being an alcoholic who exploited the girls' gifts for money and treated them like possessions. When the oldest, Kate, turned eighteen she packed the three of them up and came to travel with the Eclipse family.

"There's not much to tell," I replied casually as I sat at the other end of the couch. "Girl meets boy, girl wants boy, boy is mean to girl, girl runs home in tears."

"Wait, you met a boy? Who? When?" she asked.

"Edward Masen, Alice's cousin," I said with a shrug. "He's my fíorghrá, but he doesn't want me." I was actually a little surprised at how casual I could be with this conversation. Yesterday, my heart would have split open at the thought of Edward's refusal. Today, all I felt was a near constant stinging in my chest. My time in the mountains the day before had left me feeling reasonably calm. I was much more accepting of living the life I wanted, even if choosing that life meant losing my fíorghrá.

"I know you don't believe in soul mates, but this was real," I said. "I felt the pull between us. I wanted him like I've never wanted anything else on Earth. When he," I stopped to take a deep breath, "when he told me I was the biggest freak amongst the freaks it hurt, so I ran…after I punched him in the nose."

Tanya stared at me for a few seconds before she burst into laughter. Tanya's laugh was one of my favorite things about her – all strong, loud and unafraid. It was impossible not to chuckle along with her when she laughed.

"Oh, for God's sake," she exclaimed, throwing her head back and groaning. I looked at her in surprise as she tilted her head and met my eyes. "I told Irina that boy couldn't get laid with a fistful of cash in a whorehouse." I snorted once before looking toward the fireplace.

"So, that's what happened to the pretty-boy," she said. "He showed up for our first show Sunday looking like a raccoon with all the black around his eyes. This explains a whole hell of a lot. No wonder Esme asked me to help him out like she did."

I didn't know exactly what she had helped him out with, but I didn't want to talk about Edward anymore, especially not about the injuries I caused him. I wasn't normally a violent person, and the fact that I punched him made me feel a little guilty.

"So, you moved my trailer?" I asked. Tanya raised her eyebrows, realizing what I was doing, but she went along with my silent request.

"Yeah, Puddin'. I moved it for you. I also packed up your phone charger, laptop, cash box and iPod. I brought it all with me. I figured you wouldn't want someone stealing all the good stuff while your Jayflight was sitting in some lot in middle-of-fucking-nowhere Alabama."

I jumped forward and wrapped my arms around Tanya's thin shoulders.

"Thank you!" I exclaimed. "You're a total lifesaver. My phone died Sunday night, and I haven't made it into town to buy a charger yet."

"I figured as much," she replied as I released her and sat back on the couch. "Why don't you call your mom on my phone while I go hit the head? Poor Renee was in a panic when she couldn't reach you yesterday."

She stood and stretched, then reached into the front pocket of her jeans and pulled out her phone. I took it from her with thanks before I thought about what she said.

"Does this mean you're staying with me for a stretch?" I smiled, hoping she would. Tanya was a hell of a lot of fun to have around. She was always up for anything and could spot a good time from fifty paces.

"Not this time," she said over her shoulder. "But after the season's over, you and I are going to spend some quality time out on that deck of yours."

She stopped, put her hand on her hip and looked at me over her shoulder. When she bent one leg slightly and winked, I giggled loudly. She was giving me a classic pinup pose. I waved her towards the bathroom and settled back into the corner of the couch. I dialed Renee's cell number, but she didn't pick up, so I left her a quick voicemail.

"Hey, Mom, it's me. The battery on my phone died, and I don't have a charger at the house. I'm sorry if I scared you, but everything is fine. Tanya brought me my charger and told me she moved my trailer for me. Thanks for taking care of things, Mom. I just wanted to let you know that I'm okay. I think…I think I might be better than okay. I spent yesterday up in the mountains and thought through a lot of stuff. I know you're worried about me, but I want you to know that I'm truly doing just fine. Don't worry, okay? I love you, I miss you and I'll see you in Ashland next Thursday."

Tanya walked back into the living room as I hung up her phone. "Your stuff is all in that backpack. I've got to get to Nashville before this afternoon, so I'm going to head out. Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, sure," I said, stepping toward her to hug her goodbye. "I'll be fine. I'm going to stay here this week, then head down to Ashland to meet up with Mom and Phil. Is Irina meeting you in Nashville?"

We walked out the front door together and stood on the porch. The sun was bright but still low enough to throw long shadows across the front of the house.

"Nah, she met some guy she thinks is _the __one_," she said, making air quotes with her fingers and rolling her eyes. "You people and your soul mate bullshit. I think I'd rather fuck Emmett for the rest of my life than deal with all the added drama."

"Oh, please, you and Emmett-" I stopped speaking as a sleek, blue car pulled slowly into my driveway. I felt a sizzling energy cascade down my arms as the sting in my chest flared. I glanced at Tanya in confusion. She looked nervously between the car and me before meeting my gaze and grabbing my hand.

"Esme asked me to make sure he made it here," she said. "I'm sorry if I shouldn't have, but I didn't know about the two of you. I'll stay if you want me to." She was staring at me, her eyes wide, but her words weren't making sense to me. All I knew, all I felt in that moment, was the familiar pull toward the car in the driveway.

After what felt like hours to my impatient heart, the driver's door opened and Edward stepped out. I turned and watched him move toward me, his verdant eyes hopeful yet cautious as the met mine. He looked...well, he looked horrible. His hair was an absolute riot of waves, sticking up at odd angles all over his head. The amount of scruff on his face made it looked as though he hadn't shaved in days, and his black t-shirt and dark jeans both looked wrinkled. He limped slightly as he walked toward the porch, and I remembered he had limped the same way after I shocked him. I wondered if his discomfort was from the drive or something I had caused.

When I looked up at his face again, I noticed the damage from my punch. The deep purple bruising around his eyes made me feel sick to my stomach. Guilt overrode every other emotion; I couldn't believe I had done that to him.

"Bella," Tanya said, shaking my hand a bit. I held Edward's gaze until the last possible second as I turned to look at her. "Do you want me to stay with you?"

Her eyes were concerned as they met mine. I looked once more between Edward and her, trying to focus on anything other than the feeling of my heart slamming against my chest. I took two deep breathes before I finally found my voice. "It's fine. I'll be fine. Go to Nashville."

"Are you sure?" she asked, releasing my hand.

I was staring at Edward again as I answered. "I'm sure."

She stepped off the porch and toward her bike while my eyes stayed locked with Edward's. My hands wrapped around the railing so hard I felt my palms burn from the friction of the wood. I couldn't release it, though. I knew if I didn't hold onto something I would be running down the driveway in an instant.

Edward's eyes never left mine as Tanya stopped to whisper something to him. I saw her run a finger slowly down the side of his face and felt the familiar tingle of the energy increasing around me. She stepped away from him just as the scent of ozone reached me, reminding me I had to calm myself before I lost control again. He didn't acknowledge her words or actions. She looked once more between him and me before walking the rest of the way to her bike and throwing one long leg over the seat.

Edward and I didn't move, we barely even blinked, as Tanya's Sportster roared to life. We simply stood silently, our gazes locked, as the noise from the machine swelled then retreated.

When the silence of the forest returned, and we were finally alone, he hesitantly moved one step closer.

"Le do thoil," he said. My heart stuttered then raced at the simple Irish plea. I tried to focus on my anger, my pain, as he continued to stare at me. I felt the tears falling once again, but I did nothing to stop them. He needed to see this. He needed to see the anguish his words had caused.

"Le do thoil." One step closer. The sting in my chest shifted to a comfortable warmth. I didn't dare move. Every piece of my soul was crying for me to get closer to him, to embrace the pull, but I had to be strong. I couldn't open myself up to his judgment again.

"Le do thoil." Another step. I took a deep breath, instantly regretting it when his scent surrounded me. It had shifted its balance, the aroma of rain becoming more predominant. It was no longer a warm, happy scent. It was heavy, brooding, weighted down by a tumultuous energy.

"Le do thoil." This step put him at the bottom of the stairs. He was less than six feet away, and the nearness of his body was begging mine to respond. I held tight to the railing, refusing to yield to him or his gravity.

"Le do thoil," he whispered as he stepped onto the porch. I closed my eyes, my head wishing for him to step away as my heart begged him to move closer. My entire body trembled from the strain of holding myself in place.

"Le do thoil, chéadsearc, le do thoil." I sobbed aloud as his voice broke on the endearment. I curled my body inwards, physically protecting my heart from the pain of being so near to my fíorghrá while fighting the pull between us.

A loud thud from my left captured my attention. When I looked, I was stunned to see Edward on his knees, his hands frozen in front of him as if he were reaching toward me.

"Please, Bella," he whispered as our eyes locked once more. We were both crying at this point, tears falling from brown and green as we regarded one another. "Please give me a chance to explain…to apologize. I'm so…I'm just…" He stopped stammering and took a deep breath.

"Bella, I was a complete jerk to you on Sunday. I know I don't deserve it, but I need to talk to you, to apologize and explain a few things. Please, I'll beg if I have to. Just let me talk to you."

"Edward," I said quietly as I gazed into his troubled eyes. I began to shake my head, to tell him no, but he gasped and cried out once more.

"Le do thoil, Bella. Just…le do thoil." The sincerity of his plea gave me the courage to release my grip on the handrail and turn toward him. His shoulders sagged as he sighed loudly and dropped his head to look at the ground. I watched him for a moment, surprised by how violently my emotions were swinging inside of me. Finally, in a moment of pure faith, I reached down and grabbed his hand. My entire body pulsed with the energy racing between the two of us. I closed my eyed relished the tingle of our skin touching, the knowledge that our circuit was complete in that moment.

After indulging in the bliss of his touch for a few seconds, I opened my eyes and pulled on his hand, demonstrating my request for him to get to his feet. His head jerked up and he looked surprised by my request, but complied quickly. When he stood before me, mere millimeters away from my body, I released his hand. I was too afraid of falling into his orbit to risk holding onto him any longer.

"I make no promises to you, Edward," I said.

I walked slowly into the cottage, holding the door open for him to follow me.

.

.

.

* * *

**Le do thoil** translates to **Please** and is pronounced leh duh huhl

**Chéadsearc** translates to **Sweetheart** and is pronounced khayd-shark


	7. Sweet Tea

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

_._

_Edward is in my living room._

I tried to concentrate on the tea cooling on the counter, but my eyes continually darted to where Edward sat on my couch. When he had followed me into the cottage, I panicked. Having his energy caressing my skin, his scent blanketing itself gently around my body, was too much sensation for me to deal with. I calmly invited him to sit on the couch before I ran upstairs to change out of my pajamas. I hopped into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, brushed my teeth and clipped my hair into a twist before racing back downstairs.

When I reached the bottom step, I moved directly into the kitchen under the pretense of needing to make a fresh pitcher of sweet tea. I really just needed a few minutes to clear my head before joining him in the living room, and making a pitcher of tea seemed like a plausible excuse.

I heated the water in my cast iron kettle, steeped the black tea, boiled the simple syrup and mixed the tea and syrup together, all while slyly watching Edward from the corner of my eye. I took careful note of the emotions streaming through my body – anger, pain, distrust, fear. No one feeling stayed in the forefront for long. Instead, they danced and weaved around each other, knotting together in my chest until I could no longer discern what I was feeling.

Ten minutes later, I was still just as lost in my emotions, and he was still sitting motionless on the couch. He appeared to be staring at my fireplace, though I couldn't see his eyes from where I was standing. I took a deep breath and sighed; I was out of time.

I slowly poured the tea over ice cubes in my favorite ceramic pitcher. I would have preferred to let it cool on its own, but that would have taken far too long. I had a feeling I was going to need the comforting drink for this conversation.

When the tea was chilled and my hands had finally stopped trembling, I poured two glasses and walked slowly into the living room. I placed Edward's tea on the table in front of him. I continued past the couch and curled up in the large armchair to his right.

"Thank you," he said, not meeting my gaze. He continued to stare straight ahead, not moving, for several minutes. The subtle energy around him kept shifting – harsh to gentle, fierce vibrations to gently rolling whispers.

The silence quickly became oppressive. When I noticed a confusing scent permeating the room, one I could only describe as muddled, I placed my glass on the table beside me and sat back in the chair, hugging a pillow to my chest.

"You wanted to talk to me."

"Yes," he said, turning his face toward the kitchen and looking away from me. "I've been sitting here trying to figure out where to start. I'm not…I don't know…I feel like…" He put both hands in his hair, tugging on it roughly, as he huffed. I noticed his hands shaking whenever they stilled, and I knew I needed to help him start this conversation.

"Quicksand," I said, hoping to distract him from pulling on his hair before he hurt himself.

"What?" he asked. His eyes met mine for the first time since we entered the house. My heart broke at the pain and confusion they held. I felt a sudden need to comfort him, but I steeled myself from the desire. I was not ready to let go of my anger.

"You feel unstable, unsure of yourself. You want to move forward, but you can't figure out which direction to go. You're afraid of taking that first step and having it be wrong."

"Yeah, that sounds about right," he said with a grimace.

"Your aunt would say you're in a quagmire. I prefer to think of it as emotional quicksand," I said, stiffening my body to stay in place. Resisting him was much more difficult than I thought it would be. I was glad I'd chosen to sit alone in the chair instead of sharing the couch with him. The distance was the buffer I needed to stay focused on the task at hand.

"How do I get past it?" he asked quietly, his eyes vivid against his pale skin.

"I can't tell you that," I whispered while shaking my head slowly. "You have to find your own way through."

As he held my gaze, I recognized a familiar warmth spreading through my body. The sensation started in my abdomen and spiraled slowly outwards. Everything about him was calling to me, begging me to move closer, to seize him. The energy building between us was practically shooting sparks as it danced, never straying far from where we sat.

I finally forced myself to turn away from his gaze, looking out the window to the right of the fireplace instead. I would not surrender to the draw - not after how he'd hurt me. Not before I knew why.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said suddenly. My eyes darted back to his as the bitter scent of regret reached me. I held my breath, ignoring the odor, as he continued. "I know it's not enough…that just apologizing won't take back what I said, but I really am very sorry."

"You're right," I replied. "It's not enough. What you said…the words you used…you can't just say 'I'm sorry' and expect everything to be forgiven. You," I paused to take a deep breath, "you really hurt me, Edward. I don't know if I can forgive you after what you said."

We sat in silence. I kept my eyes trained on the floor to hide the tears slowly trailing down my face. I was tired of this – the confusion, the pain, the anger. I needed answers…now.

My mind raced with the possibilities of what should come next. Should I ask him to leave? Should I ask for an explanation? Where should I start? How could I choose just one question when my mind was foggy with the multitude of things I wanted to know?

Without much thought, I blurted out the first question that became clear in my head.

"Why the Irish?"

Edward looked puzzled as he leaned toward me minutely. "What?" he asked.

"When you showed up here, you said 'le do thoil.' Why not just say 'please' in English? Why say it in Irish?" I asked.

"I'm not sure, really," he replied, cocking his head a little to the left. "I didn't think about what I was going to say once I saw you. I just knew I had to get here, to get to you. When I saw you on the porch, 'le do thoil' was the only thing that made any sense to me."

I held his gaze cautiously. There was no answer in his words, no real explanation. They did nothing but add more confusion to my already jumbled thoughts. The scents, the energy, the gravity – it was all overwhelming me. The emotions within me began to swirl faster, creating an almost chaotic sensation around my heart. I forced my mind to focus on Edward so as not to be distracted by the turmoil within me.

"I meant what I said," he said quietly. "I'll beg if I have to."

"I don't want you to beg," I said, my anger finally blazing a path through my thoughts and giving me a view of the questions I wanted him to answer. "I want you to explain. Why were you so cruel?" I was getting louder with each word, waving my hands in the air to punctuate my thoughts. "Why are you even traveling with Esme this summer if you think all carnies are conniving and manipulative?" Edward sputtered, trying to interrupt me, but the words refused to stop. "Why would you call me such cruel names? How could you call me a freak when-"

"BELLA!" Edward yelled, silencing me. I had been so caught up in my questions, I never noticed him move from the couch. He kneeled in front of me, his thighs against the edge of the chair. He reached out and grabbed my wrists gently, halting my frantic waving. "Stop, please."

My eyes met his, and I was plunged into a sea of need and want. My body leaned toward him of its own accord, my very soul itching as the desire to move closer engulfed me. I inched forward slightly, and his eyes widened as his breath caught, breaking the spell his very presence wove around me.

I yanked my wrists away from him and sank deeper into the chair, moving as far away from him as possible. As much as my body needed to be near him, my mind needed the space.

"I'll tell you anything you want to know. Just give me a chance to explain," he pleaded. "I can't answer every one of your questions at once, but I _will_ answer them all." He gazed at me for a few moments as I considered his request. I finally nodded my acquiescence. He smiled gently before moving slowly back to his spot on the couch.

"Where do you want me to start?" he asked once he was settled.

I thought about his question as the time slipped away. He sat patiently, never showing signs of frustration at my delay. Eventually, Esme's words from Sunday morning danced through my memories – so simple, yet so very vital.

"I want you to start at the beginning," I said firmly. "I want you to tell me why you think carnies are conniving and manipulative. I want you to explain to me how you could believe that, especially considering Esme and Alice are your family."

Edward was silent for a long time before he took a deep breath and looked down at his hands. I noticed him fidgeting, tracing patterns along the tips of his fingers with his thumb. This wasn't the first time I had noticed that particular action, and I realized it must be a nervous habit.

"You know Esme is my mom's sister?" he asked. I nodded in response when he looked up at me. "Did you know they're identical twins?" I thought for a moment, trying to remember if Esme had ever mentioned a twin but shook my head when I realized I didn't know this.

"Same hair color, same eye color, same height, same ability to see the future. You would think they would have similar personalities, too, but in that, they're exact opposites. Esme's always been warm, loving, giving; my mom, on the other hand, is none of those things."

I reached for my glass and took a sip of my tea as Edward shifted his body to face me.

"My parents met at a carnival. Mom and Aunt Esme were working at the fortuneteller booth. She spotted my dad in the crowd and…well, love at first sight, I guess." He shrugged and looked down at the floor again.

"They were married two weeks later, and I was born that next summer. My dad was a lawyer at a big firm in Chicago; my mom stayed home with me. When I was young, I never really thought about the things that made her different, that made _us_ different as a family. The visions, the off-the-wall comments to strangers about their lives, the way she always knew what was going on with the neighbors - it was all normal to me." He cringed after he said the word 'normal' and looked to me with a fearful expression. I shrugged slightly and motioned for him to continue. Now wasn't the time to get into a dispute regarding that particular word.

"It wasn't until I joined the soccer team in sixth grade that I realized we weren't nor...like the other families in our neighborhood," he said, obviously making a conscious decision not to use the word normal. I smiled a little behind my glass before taking another sip.

"My mom would always make me sit with her for a pep talk before my games. She would give me tips and tell me which players to avoid on the field. I didn't realize it at the time, but she was using her gift to see how the game would play out. She would tell me the things I needed to know so my team would win, usually with me scoring a few of the goals."

I frowned at him. Esme was always adamant with Alice and me that our gifts were to be used with caution and restraint. Using precognition to change the winner of a children's soccer game was not something she would have tolerated.

"One morning my Dad walked in on one of our little chats and figured out what she was doing. I'd never seen him so furious. He told me to leave the room and shut the door, but I still heard them yelling. My parents were always arguing, but this was different. They were really screaming at each other. I don't want to go into too much detail, but he called her-" he glanced at me. He quickly ducked his head, but not before I saw the shameful expression on his face. "He called her a lot of names, because of her 'sight' and her carnie background. He told her she needed to stop trying to influence people with her gift. She laughed when he demanded she find a way to stop seeing the future, claiming it had gotten them into trouble too many times."

I snorted. My eyes shot to Edward's in embarrassment over my reaction. "Sorry," I mumbled. "But trying to stop her visions would have been like trying to get Niagara not to fall. It's…impossible."

"It's not impossible, Bella," he almost whispered, looking at the floor again. "Difficult but not impossible." I gaped at him in shock. I could ignore the scents and sensations if I concentrated on something other than them, but it was draining. I could never block them out for longer than an hour or so. I wished he would continue down that tangent, but he never elaborated on the possibility of blocking one's gift.

"After that day she never gave me another pre-game pep talk. She went about her days like always, but you could tell something was different. She barely spoke anymore, and when she did, it was always to insult or complain. She would spend hours on the phone, though I never knew to whom she was whispering. She cried a lot, as well, and she refused any attempt I made to comfort her. She had never been a very affectionate person, but this was so much worse. She wasn't just neglectful anymore; she was short-tempered and mean."

I felt my anger toward Edward slipping as he talked about his childhood. No child deserved such treatment, especially not from his own mother. I took another sip from my glass as he continued.

"That's when the visitors started showing up. It seemed like every other day there was some man on our doorstep, asking for my mom. They were always dressed in dirty clothes, and many of them were covered in scars or missing teeth. I was young, and my dad was always working; I'm not ashamed to admit they made me nervous. About that time, odd things started happening in our neighborhood: break-ins, missing pets, vandalism. People would whisper and stare whenever they saw my mom or me. They had noticed the men coming to the house; they weren't stupid.

"Suddenly the kids I grew up with weren't allowed to hang out with me anymore. Even at practice, they would walk up to talk, and their parents would immediately call them over to keep them away from me. It was harsh, and I was pretty lonely. Eventually I stopped playing soccer altogether and just spent a lot of time alone in my room." I gave him a small, commiserating smile, and he shrugged in response.

Edward suddenly yawned, stretching his upper body over the arm of the couch. His shirt rode up as he did, exposing a strip of pale skin above the waistband of his jeans. There was a thick, slightly pink scar just off center, running vertically. My eyes quickly darted over his body, wondering what other scars littered his skin and what had caused them all. My stomach dropped at the thought of the type of pain this man must have been through in his relatively short life.

He sat straight once again and reached for his glass.

"What was she doing?" I asked. He swallowed the last of the tea and set his empty glass on the coffee table.

"She was working with a group of her old carnie friends, helping them rob our neighbors. She would purposefully run into people from the neighborhood and find a reason to touch them. Her gift is a lot stronger than Aunt Esme's or Alice's is but also a lot less random. She has to touch your skin to be able to see anything about you, but once she has, she can focus on your essence and see…a lot."

"Wait," I interrupted him, "what do you mean by a lot? What exactly can she see?" A sense of dread settled over me. Someone with a strong gift like Elizabeth's, and without the proper moral character to restrain it, could easily become out of control. The picture he was painting with his memories suddenly took on a darker hue.

"She sees the results of decisions, like Alice, but she sees much more detail," he said, leaning back into the corner of the couch and throwing his arm across the back.

My eyes darted around the room as I considered what he was saying. I knew Alice's visions came once the subject of them made a firm a decision. She described them to me as pictures in her mind. She would get a flash of something that had been decided upon but not necessarily the before or after effects. I finally settled my gaze back on Edward as my confusion increased.

"I don't think I understand. How can she see so much if all of her visions are determined by decisions?" He brought his foot up onto the couch, his leg bent at the knee. The position distracted me. His angled leg led my eyes from his foot, up along the seam in his pants to his knee, over the peak and back down, running along his thigh.

Edward coughed quietly, and my eyes shifted to his quickly. He was staring at me, his eyes dark and intense. I blushed, realizing I had been caught ogling him, and trained my eyes on the floor in front of me. After a few seconds of silence, he continued.

"Every single action you take is a decision," he said, his voice low and soothing. "Your alarm goes off in the morning – do you turn it off or press snooze? Once you get out of bed, do you shower or get a cup of coffee first? Do you want milk in your coffee or not? Do you use the white mug or the blue one?"

"Okay, I get it," I said, the thoughts in my head coloring the canvas of comprehension as they continued to reveal his picture. I felt like I was still missing something though, some bit of information that would add dimension to the canvas and pull the image out from the convoluted mess of color. "She can see flashes of almost everything a person does in a day. I still…I don't think I understand. What makes this so much stronger than Esme's or Alice's gift?"

"My mom has amazing control," he said. "Let's say she touched you today - just a quick handshake or any kind of brushing of skin - she would have your essence stored in her mind. If, two weeks from now, she wants to find out what your plans are for the weekend, she can focus on your essence and see every single decision you had made since the moment she touched you. Weekend plans, work schedules, what jewelry you chose to wear, how much money you decided to keep on hand at your house, where your spare keys were stored." My jaw dropped as I finally understood the full scope of Elizabeth's power. I couldn't help but be grateful I had never met the woman. The idea of her knowing almost every detail of my life was definitely disturbing and slightly terrifying.

"We weren't rich, but we lived in a nice, upper-class neighborhood. Mom would pick a 'mark' based on what she knew about them, then spend time focusing on their decisions. Once she knew their plans, she would contact one of her carnie friends and let them know when the house would be empty and what they were looking for. It was a brilliant plan, when you think about it. Unfortunately for her, my dad figured out what she was doing."

The energy in the room shifted suddenly, startling me. There was a feeling of heaviness, of weight, surrounding me, and the stench of despair assaulted my nose. Edward sat across from me, staring at a spot on the couch, pain radiating from his body. This was too much. As angry as I still was, I couldn't sit and watch him suffer.

"I think we should take a break," I said softly. I stood slowly and stretched before scooping up the two glasses and walking into the kitchen with them. I felt a tingling on my skin and caught just a whiff of sweet rain before I heard Edward follow me into the space.

"I promised I would tell you everything," he whispered from behind me. I trembled slightly at the softness of his voice as it wrapped around me. I placed the glasses carefully in the sink. I turned toward him, resting my hip against the counter.

Edward stood across from me, leaning against the front of the refrigerator. His feet were crossed at the ankles, his hands wringing in front of him. He looked disappointed and a little sad as I gave him a small smile.

"And you will, but right now I think we could both use a break. And maybe some food," I said. "If we want to eat, I'm going to have to shop. I still haven't made it to the grocery store." I turned and bent down to collect my fabric grocery bags from under the sink.

"Would you like…I mean, may I go with you to the grocery store?" Edward asked.

I glanced up and over my shoulder at him as I reached for the insulated bag at the back of the cabinet. His eyes moved slowly up the length of my legs, over the curves of my body, before meeting my own. I couldn't stop the smirk that formed on my face. I raised an eyebrow, challenging him, but he kept his eyes on mine, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Sure," I said, rolling my body up to standing with my bags in my hands. "I think that would be all right." Edward's eyes dropped from my face to my chest for just a second before they met mine once more.

I shook my head at him in good-natured disbelief as I walked toward the front of the house, intent on finding a pair of shoes and my wallet. When I passed him, Edward reached out, his fingers encircling my wrist gingerly. The smoldering desire I felt for him flared instantly at his touch, and I drowned in the aroma of warm honey and caramel.

"Thank you for giving me a chance to explain," he said, his expression full of hope. "I know what I said was unforgivable, but I hope I can at least make you understand why I lashed out at you the way I did. I know you didn't deserve it, and I didn't deserve the chance to explain…so thank you."

I smiled gently at him before nodding my head and continuing to the door.

**xXxXx**

Being alone with Edward in a space as small as the interior of a car had probably not been a great idea. He was polite and respectful, but the intensity of our attraction was magnified by the proximity of his body to mine. It was almost as if I could feel the energy between us bouncing off the windows of his Mustang, continually reminding me that the man less than eighteen inches away was my fíorghrá.

I could tell he was feeling the same draw. I caught him sneaking glances at me out of the corner of his eye as he drove smoothly around the curves of the road. Of course, that meant he caught me doing the same thing. We were both grinning shyly by the time we pulled into the lot of the Kroger store in town.

As if the ride to the store wasn't confusing enough, the time spent shopping had my emotions swinging like a pendulum. One second I would remember something he said in Esme's tent, and my fear would flare up around me. Before I could act on it, though, his hand would brush mine as we placed items in the buggy, or he would catch my eye from across the aisle and pull one side of his mouth up into a small smile. My fear melted away every time, leaving me feeling almost blissful. I would find myself smiling back at him as if he hadn't ripped my heart out and danced a jig on it just two days ago.

I thought about the drastic changes my life had undergone recently as Edward drove us back to the cottage. Four days. My entire world had flipped upside down twice in an interval of only two days. First, I met Edward, my fíorghrá, and I became oblivious to everything around me as I focused on the gravity between us. For two days he was my only thought, my ultimate craving - but the bottom dropped out with five hate-filled words.

Now here we were, another two days later, moving around my kitchen as if we had prepared dinner together a hundred times. There was no anger at that moment, no pain, just a feeling of tranquility as we worked closely. I still didn't have answers, and I desperately needed them if I was ever going to get to a place where I could find the resolve to understand and accept.

"Tell me about your father," I said as I pulled a cutting board out of the drawer and grabbed my favorite santoku knife from the block on the counter. Edward paused, his hand resting on the pork loin he was rubbing with his homemade spice mixture.

"He was...great," he said, his eyes on his hands as he went back to covering the meat with the deep red powder. "He worked a lot, but he always made time to take me to my soccer games or to come see my recitals. He believed no education was complete without studying the arts, so he pushed me to play piano. He also took me to art museums, symphonies, operas, plays. He really made an effort to show me that life wasn't all about the things you had to do - it was also about the things you loved to do."

I watched as Edward placed the pork loin in the oven. He stood and walked toward the sink, brushing his shoulder against my back as he passed me, causing me to shiver a little. There was something so _right_ about him working beside me in this space. I felt the fear and the distrust loosening their grip on my heart slightly as I watched him wash his hands at the sink. When he was finished, he turned and leaned his hip against the counter.

"He loved Halloween," he said. He dried his hands on a dishtowel, then swung it nonchalantly to drape across his shoulder. "Every fall he would take me to this farm in the far northwest suburbs to pick pumpkins. He was so particular about it. We would end up there for hours as he tried to decide whether to buy the tall, skinny pumpkin with the short stump, or the tall, skinny pumpkin with the longer stump. He would debate the merits of each endlessly, yet every year he ended up buying any pumpkin that caught his eye so he could cover the front porch in them. That last Halloween before he died he picked eighteen pumpkins, and I picked two."

His face looked sad as he shifted his gaze to a spot over my shoulder. I concentrated on the cucumber I was slicing to allow him time to relive his memories in peace. I may have never known my own father, but I had felt the sting of his absence on more than one occasion. I could only imagine how intense the pain from the loss of an involved, loving parent was.

"We moved," Edward said, shaking his head a bit. "After he found out about my mom and the carnies, he packed us up and moved us to a new neighborhood. He was trying to give my mom and me a clean start. He saw how withdrawn I was becoming, and he was doing what he could to fix it. He also loved my mother passionately, and he refused to give up on their marriage.

"Unfortunately, things kept getting worse. My mom was furious with my dad. If she spoke to him at all, it was to lash out at him. I was basically non-existent in her world by the time I started high school. She ignored me, and I ignored her – it wasn't healthy, but it worked for me." Edward moved around the kitchen as he talked, finding a way to brush his shoulder or hand against me whenever he passed. The light touches kept me grounded, focused solely on him instead of the sensations that usually bombarded me because of my gift.

He pulled the fresh asparagus out of the refrigerator and took it to the sink, running a fingertip softly across my lower back as he passed. I sighed and caught him smiling as he turned on the tap.

"My dad kept trying. He coddled her, threatened her, stopped talking to her, demanded they go to therapy." He walked past me once more, this time brushing three fingers across the back of my neck. My entire body trembled as he chuckled softly. He set the asparagus on some foil squares a few feet away from me and began seasoning them.

"He tried anything and everything to help her, but she refused to forgive him for coming between her and her 'carnie family'. He would remind her we were her family, and she would always reply 'It's different. You could never understand.' I really began to hate the word different." He paused, holding the pepper mill he had been grinding in the air as he appeared to get lost in his memories once more. After a few seconds, he set the grinder down and drizzled the asparagus with my basil-infused olive oil. He wrapped the foil around the green spears, creating little packets.

"Just before I started my sophomore year in high school, I came home one day and found one of her carnie friends sitting in the kitchen," he said, as he placed the asparagus in the oven and shifted the pork loin to the side. "He was older, more refined than the others I remembered. Everything about him, every look, every motion, just oozed bad energy, though. He never said he was a carnie, just that he and my mom were old friends, but I could tell he was from the carnival."

I raised an eyebrow at him, and he held his hands up in a show of defense.

"Not like that," he said quickly. "He had the same tattoo on his arm as the other guys I remembered. My mom had a matching one on her ankle. That's how I knew he was from the carnival."

I wasn't aware of any carnivals requiring tattoos or carnie groups that would have such a thing. I tucked that information away for later, not wanting to interrupt him with irrelevant questions. I nodded at Edward to continue as I began slicing the carrots. He dropped his hands and looked a little relieved when I accepted his explanation so easily.

"After that visit things with my mom got...weird. She started sleeping a lot during the day, and I would hear her moving around in the attic late at night. I think January of my sophomore year was the first time I came home to find her passed out on the couch. I didn't think anything of it at first, but then I started finding empty bottles hidden all over the house. After a couple of weeks of finding her unconscious almost everyday, reeking of alcohol, I told my dad what was happening and showed him the bottles. Can I help you set the table?"

"What?" I asked. Every word he had told me over the past hour was dancing around in my head, pushing and pulling, causing synapses to fire as the colors on the canvas began to show more detail of the picture being painted. His quick shift in subject didn't register through the commotion.

"The table," he said, smirking slightly at me. "Would you like me to help you set it?"

"Oh, sure," I replied as I moved toward the cabinets where my dishes were stored.

"It's a clear night. I thought it might be nice to eat out on the deck." Edward moved toward the doors leading outside, sliding his hand along the side of my hip as he passed me. I gasped quietly as I shook my head at him.

"All of my deck furniture is still down in the shed. I didn't get a chance to pull it out today."

"That shed?" he asked as he pointed to my storage shed at the tree line. I nodded at him and he smiled. "Is it locked?" I shook my head and he opened the door.

"We've got a few minutes before I need to pull the pork loin out of the oven. Why don't you collect the dishes and silverware, and I'll go and bring up the furniture."

He was halfway through the French door before I responded, "Okay, thanks. Just be careful."

Fifteen minutes later, we were sitting at my little teak table on the deck. The sun had already moved far enough to the west to be hidden behind the roof of the house. We were left in a pocket of gray below the reds, oranges and deep yellows painting the scattered clouds, making it appear as if the sky was on fire.

"You're right, by the way," Edward said as he spread butter on a dinner roll. "This place, those mountains – it's absolutely gorgeous. I can see why you bought this house."

"Thanks," I said. "I have to admit, it was love at first sight." Edward's eyes darted to mine, confusion and hope battling behind them. I held his gaze as I took a sip from my glass of tea. "I'm not really one for doubt. When I make a decision, I stick to it. I saw this place and knew I wanted it. The neighbor called not long after to tell me it had gone on the market, so I bought it." I shrugged and placed my glass back on the table. "I had never even seen the inside, but the location alone was enough of a draw."

"That's a pretty brave move," he began cutting his pork with ease, "buying a house without taking a peek inside first."

"Sometimes you just have to make the leap without knowing what's below you. If you wait too long, you could lose the thing you want most," I said. We were both still as the words I said floated on the breeze around us.

We made small talk as we ate. I continually complimented Edward on his cooking, which he shrugged off as something he had 'picked up along the way.' When we finished eating, we brought the plates into the house, still chatting easily. I washed the dishes as he wrapped the leftover food and put it away, still brushing soft touches against me whenever he was near.

When we were done with our tasks and the kitchen was spotless once again, we moved to the swing on the front porch. The night air was warm but not uncomfortably so, and the breeze blowing across the lake kept the mosquitoes at bay.

"So, where were we?" he asked as he leaned his head against the back of the seat.

"Why don't we hold off on the rest until tomorrow?" I said, mimicking his posture. "This has been an extremely long day."

"It's been a long _couple_ of days," he said, groaning quietly as he stretched his neck from side to side.

"How did the shows go on Sunday?" I asked, remembering that I had missed his first performances with Tanya and Irina.

He shrugged and rolled his head to look at me. "Are we really going to talk about magic shows?" he asked, smiling cautiously at me.

"We don't have to," I replied, smiling. "What would you rather talk about?"

He stayed silent as we swung gently, our eyes locked. The aroma of caramel in the air was thick, and the music of the cicadas filled the night. The energy rolling off Edward was calm, almost peaceful, as he reached out to run his fingers lightly across my cheek. My heart raced the moment his skin met mine, and I shifted almost unconsciously into his touch.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you, Bella," he whispered. The honesty in his eyes proved the truth of his statement, and I felt the cold fingers of distrust release my heart from their grasp. I placed my hand over his, resting my cheek on his palm.

"No more apologies," I said quietly. "Saying you're sorry doesn't take away the hurt from the words you used. I just want to know how you could say those things. I want to understand."

"I'll tell you everything, chéadsearc. I promise I will." His face was so open, so honest in that moment. I accepted his vow with a nod of my head before moving my hand down to my lap. He left his palm resting against my cheek for a moment longer before pulling away from me.

"I should get going," he said, his voice laced with regret.

I bolted upright in my seat. "Going? You can't drive back to Georgia now."

Edward smiled softly at my reaction. He reached out to brush his fingers in a pattern against the back of my hand, his touch calming and familiar.

"I'm not going back to Georgia," he explained. "I was just going to drive into town to check into a hotel. I'll come back in the morning."

He stood and stretched before offering me his hand to help me stand. I took it and stood slowly, my body almost brushing against his as I looked up at him. I may not have been angry any longer, but I was still confused. I knew Edward had his reasons for the things he had said on Sunday, but I couldn't see the entire picture he was painting at this point.

I knew I wanted to see it, though. I needed to see it.

"Don't go," I whispered. Edward's brow furrowed as his eyes searched mine. I brought my arms up, grasping his shirt at the shoulders and holding him in place as best I could. "Stay. I have a guest room upstairs. You can stay here, and you can finish telling me about your family in the morning."

Edward placed his hands gently on my waist. The additional contact made the need I felt for his touch increase, and I trembled as I fought the urge to lean into his body.

"Bella," he whispered. I held his gaze, wanting him to see the truth behind my words as I had seen the truth behind his.

"Please. I don't want you to leave."

He leaned forward and placed his soft lips cautiously against my forehead. My entire body stiffened, my emotions swinging wildly between fear and desire. He released me slowly and stepped away as I wrapped my arms around myself.

"Whatever you want, chéadsearc," he said. "I could never deny you."

I held his gaze for a moment before giving him a small nod. I walked past him quickly and opened the front door, holding it in place with my body. Edward didn't move. He just stood in place watching me warily, as if I would retract the invitation at any moment.

A flame of confusion still blazed in my chest, but I knew I had to take a chance. I needed to put my trust in him, if only for this one night. This was the only way to get past the fear he instilled in me when he broke my heart so callously.

"Le do thoil, Edward," I said quietly. Edward's face relaxed and he huffed as if he had been holding his breath. I nodded once, never taking my eyes off his. I may not have been ready to take the leap, but I could at last move toward the edge of the cliff.

Edward moved to stand before me, raising his hand to brush his thumb across my cheek. "Thank you," he whispered.

He stepped quickly through the door, into my cottage, onto my solid ground. Perhaps he would find his own here as well.

.

.

.


	8. Bleeding Honesty

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

.

Swirling, pulsing, heaving. The energy was dark and weighty, blanketing me in a feeling of trepidation. The putrid stench of death molested me. It wrapped its suffocating odor around my chest, and I fought against its hold. It tugged, pulled and dragged as I clawed at my skin, begging for release from the horror that entombed me. There was no hope, no possibility of escape, only the gloom, the pain, the pressure.

I thrashed against the invisible captors to no avail. My lungs burned with the effort; my mouth open in a scream with no sound. The air around me quickly became heavy and damp as I struggled. Using what little strength I had left, I attempted to pull the fetid air into my tortured body.

Panic overwhelmed me as I recognized the lightest hint of caramel amongst the smell of decay. I strained my senses to investigate the sweetness, noticing something wrong with the familiar smell. It seemed deeper yet more subtle, as if hidden behind a barrier of some sort. Suddenly another fragrance wove its tendrils through my mind. The pungent, metallic scent both shocked and terrified me.

It was the smell of blood.

I sat straight up in bed with a scream violating tongue. My sheets tangled around my legs, trapping me in place. The restraint made my skin crawl, so I quickly kicked my legs free. I sat sweating, my heart racing, while air burst from my lungs in fevered pants. I was breathing too hard and fast to differentiate the scents around me, which only increased my anxiety. I winced at the deep ache in my chest, a relentless pressure that reminded me of the dream. My hands shook as I ran them through my hair, pulling the damp strands away from my face.

After a few moments, I slumped back against my headboard. The waning moon hung low and bright over the hills to the east. It assured me the darkness from my nightmare was not real. I focused on the light as I attempted to release the panic still seizing my heart. I told myself it was just a dream, but the unspoken words weren't enough to erase the lingering fear.

I took a deep breath, trying to eradicate the lingering stench of death, when I remembered the slight hint of caramel from the nightmare.

The pressure in my chest swelled suddenly. I tried to breathe through the strain, but it was relentless. My next breath brought with it the caramel rain scent I would know anywhere, and my mind fixated on one thing. Edward.

Edward was here, at my house.

The pain, the pressure, the fear – it was all swept away by a wave of demanding, overpowering panic.

Edward needed help; he needed me…right now.

I threw off the sheet and dove from the bed, stumbling as the need to find Edward consumed me. I was running down the stairs before I realized my legs were moving. The panic increased as I raced down the last of the steps and ran through the first floor, sliding slightly on the turns. I didn't know where he was or why he wasn't in his bed, but I knew he was in trouble.

I could only hope the gravity I always felt around him would lead me in the right direction.

As I ran through the kitchen, I noticed one of the doors leading to the deck standing ajar. I flew through it without a second's pause, desperate to find him. I sprinted across the deck and jumped down the steps, realizing for the first time my feet were bare as they landed on the damp grass. I slipped a few times before I was able to regain my balance.

I raced down the hill, heading for the lake, when I heard Edward's voice through the trees to my right. I immediately spun in his direction and increased my pace.

"Bella!" I adjusted slightly, angling my path to follow the sound of his voice as it reached me through the pines. My calves were burning with the sudden exertion, but I pushed through the pain.

"Bella!" I forced my legs to push harder as trees whipped by me in a blur of brown and green. I jumped through a wall of brush into a moonlit clearing not far from the water's edge. The tall grass carpeting the area caused my feet to slip once more.

"Bella!" Edward yelled as he stepped from behind a tree directly across from me. I ran for him, fighting for my balance with every step. My desperation to be near him overrode everything else.

We reached each other in the center of the clearing. I threw myself against his body, adrenaline pumping through my veins as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Edward, are you okay?" I asked, frantic. I pulled my upper body away from him slightly. I ran my hands down the sides of his face and along his shoulders, looking for injuries. His hands shook as they pulled me closer by my shoulders.

"I'm fine," he said, gasping for breath. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, too. I just…you weren't there…and I felt this need…" I tried to force the words out, but my pounding heart and burning lungs prevented me from completing my thought.

"I was down by the water, and I suddenly felt," he crushed me against his chest, "you. I felt you and pain and panic." He wrapped one arm around my waist and the other around my shoulders, running his hand up to cradle the back of my head.

"Jesus, Bella. I've never been so worried in all my life."

Standing in the clearing with Edward, his arms wrapped tightly around me, made me feel protected...safe. I slid my arms around his neck and curled my hand into his hair. I gripped the soft curls, pulling his head down to my shoulder. We stood silently, clinging to one another as our hearts slowed and our breathing quieted. His sweet, caramel scent was heavy in the air around us, and I relished the way it soothed me. I tightened my arms around him and sank further into his embrace, relieved to know he was safe with me.

When I was calm enough to think of anything beyond the feeling of Edward's lean body against mine, I remembered why he was here. The fear that came trickling back was no longer about his well-being, but about mine.

I freed his hair from my grasp and ran my hands slowly down the back of his neck. I dragged them around to the front of his shoulders, taking a deep breath as I felt his muscles flex under my fingers. I moved them carefully, deliberately, across his collarbone to his chest. The energy we shared pulsed like a heartbeat against my skin. It ricocheted from my body to his - needing, demanding.

I knew the warm honey-like scent of lust would dance across my senses soon if I didn't put some space between us. Feeling torn between my attraction to him and my sense of self-preservation, I spread my fingers across Edward's chest and pushed carefully. He released me reluctantly. His hands lingered, trailing down my arms as if he craved the physical contact as much as I did.

He looked down at me with questions in his eyes as I took a step back. I smiled tenderly at him, still fighting the internal struggle between what I wanted and what I knew I needed.

"I think we should head up to the house," I said quietly. He nodded once but didn't move. I took two cautious steps backwards before turning and striding through the trees in the direction of the cottage. I wrapped my arms around myself as I moved, already missing the warmth of Edward's arms.

The feelings I experienced around Edward were disconcerting. One second I wanted to wrap every inch of myself around his body and never let go; the next I wanted to find a safe hiding place so he couldn't hurt me again. I wasn't normally one for anxiety, and I rarely second-guessed myself. I knew this dichotomy stemmed from the words he had used against me which warred with the bond of fíorghrá. I didn't know how to, or even if I could, mesh the two sides together.

I'd accepted his apology, and I'd worked through my anger toward him. That didn't mean anything would truly be resolved once I learned why he'd said the words he had.

It didn't mean his opinion of carnies and my gypsy lifestyle would change.

I was halfway across the deck, buried in my thoughts, when I felt warm fingers wrap around my wrist. The hairs on my arm stood on end as the electricity of his touch tingled along my skin. I closed my eyes and took a deep, caramel-flavored breath before turning to face him.

"You told me once the sunrise here would blur reality until it felt like I was living in a cloud of color," he whispered. I couldn't stop the smile that drew the corners of my mouth up. Even after everything, he remembered. "I want to experience that. I'd really like it if we could experience that together."

His hopeful eyes stared into mine, and my smile broadened.

"I'd like that," I replied. He smiled at me, obviously relieved. He moved to sit in a chair, still holding onto my wrist, but I stopped him with a soft tug of my arm. "I'm going to make a cup of coffee. Would you like one?"

He smiled gently at me. "Yeah, that'd be great," he said, bringing his arm up to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. I bit the inside of my cheek to hold back a moan as his fingers grazed along my temple. He slid the fingers holding my wrist down and around, traveling the length of my hand to the tips of my fingers before finally releasing me.

I nodded at him, unable to comprehend much more than the feeling of his skin caressing mine. I took a deep, shaky breath to clear my head, then turned and walked into the house.

I didn't always drink coffee, but I had a feeling I was going to need the extra jolt of caffeine this morning. It was still early - not quite five in the morning. I figured we had almost an hour before the sun peeked over the edge of the mountains to the east.

I pulled two cups out of the cabinet and plugged in my Kuerig. Four minutes and two pods of Autumn Harvest blend later, I stepped back out onto the deck with two steaming cups of coffee in my hands.

"I have milk and sugar inside if you want it," I said, as I set Edward's coffee in front of him on the table.

"I take it black, but thanks," he said, smiling up at me. The dim light caused long, dark shadows to form across his face, making him appear almost skeletal. I shivered, remembering the fear and the darkness from my nightmare. I closed my eyes for a moment, willing the image away.

"You're a braver man than I," I said as I moved over to my chair. "My mom jokes that I like my milk and sugar with a little coffee." I sat across from him and took a sip, savoring the warm sweetness as it rolled across my tongue. The gentle sounds of the forest waking up relaxed me as we sat, enjoying our coffee.

"Did you not sleep well?" I asked after a few moments. Edward sighed and angled his head down, focusing on the coffee cup he held between his knees.

"I don't really sleep for long stretches. No more than a couple of hours at a time," he said. He turned his head to rest his eyes upon mine. I gazed back at him, wishing I could see the emotions hiding amongst the shadows. I felt the energy around him shift and knew he was going to continue the conversation from last night.

I knew he was about to tell me about the death of his father.

"I have a lot more scars than just the ones on my face, Bella."

I reached across the table, offering my hand to him, palm up. I watched his eyes, still in shadow, as they appeared to travel down the length of my arm. Finally, when the weight of his gaze was back on my face, he moved his hand to grip mine. I sat quietly, allowing my touch to say what my mouth could not.

_I'm sorry you were hurt; I wish I could fix it for you._

"For four years, my dad and I dealt with the drinking, the anger and the insanity that came with my mom," he said quietly. He squeezed my hand tighter in his, and I reciprocated the gesture. "She went through cycles. She'd drink herself stupid for a couple of months and then start to get better. I'd stop finding empty bottles around the house, and she'd be more...present. She wouldn't become mother-of-the-year or anything, but I would actually see her clean, dressed and awake."

He paused to take a deep breath. I rubbed my thumb across the back of his hand, offering what little support I could to this brave, broken man.

"It never lasted. After awhile, maybe as long as two months, one of her carnie friends would show up, and she would start drinking again. My dad and I rarely talked about it; we just tried to stay out of her way most of the time.

"After I graduated high school, I would sometimes wake up to find her in my room. She'd be standing in a corner, usually muttering something to herself." The image of waking up to someone staring at me from a corner made me shiver as fear raced along my spine. Edward snorted softly. "Yeah, it was really creepy. Even when I knew it was my mom, it would scare the hell out of me. I thought about moving out so many times, but I couldn't leave my dad to deal with her alone. He needed me." He was quiet for a few seconds, lost in his memories. I once again squeezed his hand to bring him back to me.

"Right before I started my sophomore year at Northwestern, she disappeared," he said, a painful edge to his voice. I gasped. Neither Esme nor Alice had ever told me anything bad about Edward and his family. I never knew how much pain he had experienced. I had no idea he had lived through something so horrible.

He gave my hand one final squeeze before he let go, bringing his hand down to cradle his cup of coffee.

"For three months my dad and I spent every waking moment searching for her. We called everyone we could think of, even going so far as to start calling various carnival companies. We filed missing police reports; we called the local TV stations. Three months of hunting, and we had found nothing."

The sky was lightening above us as we sat on the deck. The glow around us meant I could see Edward clearly, see the pain etched on his face. His hands clutched his coffee mug, his knuckles white from the strain of holding on.

I wanted to tell him to stop, that I didn't need to hear any more. I wanted to comfort him with my words, my touch. I wanted to get up and wrap my arms around him. I resisted the urges, though. He had made judgments about me based on his past. He had been through something painful and scarring, both physically and emotionally.

He needed to tell me about his world, and I needed to listen.

"My dad's firm threw a big holiday party every year. Neither of us really wanted to go, but he was a partner, so it was expected he would attend. I decided to go as well, to support him. It was the first time since my mom left that he had done anything other than look for her." I felt my eyebrows furrow as I absorbed his words. He said 'left,' not 'disappeared.' Before I could give this wording much thought, Edward shifted forward, hunching over and staring at the worn boards in front of him.

"I also just wanted to..." he paused, bringing one hand up to rub over his face aggressively.

"Fuck, Bella, I just wanted to be normal for one night. I know you don't like the word, and I understand why, but I don't know how else to say it. I wanted to be like all the other people there - I wanted to complain about the holiday shoppers causing traffic jams and how the Blackhawks were doing and talk about how my classes were going. I didn't want to sit home, worried about a woman who wouldn't have been worried about me if the situation was reversed."

Despair, anger, pain - the scents passed over me so quickly, I almost lost them to the wind before I recognized them. The energy around Edward surged, warning me of his intense emotions.

Edward was suffering.

Whether or not he finished his story - whether or not I discovered the reasons behind his pain – he needed the comfort only I could offer him. I refused to sit across from my fíorghrá, knowing he was in agony, and do nothing to help him.

Not willing to wait a moment longer, I stood. I covered the distance between us in three steps, setting my coffee cup on the table as I reached him. I ran my hands up his arms to his chest and pushed firmly, forcing him to lean back in his chair. When his eyes met mine, I took the cup from his hands and set it on the table. Slowly, my eyes staring into his the entire time, I lowered myself to sit sideways on his lap. When my weight was resting on his left thigh, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him into my embrace. He rested his forehead on my shoulder, and I ran my fingers through his hair, hoping to soothe him.

"It's okay," I whispered. "I understand what you're saying. It's all okay." His arms slid around my hips, pulling my body closer to his as he shuddered beneath me. The glow of a new dawn brightened the sky as we sat wrapped around each other.

Minutes later, he turned his head, resting his cheek against my collarbone.

"She showed up," he said. I stopped moving my hands as I imagined how shocking that would be to Edward and his father.

"Three months without even a phone call, and she just shows up at a holiday party. I was too stunned to be upset. All I remember thinking was how beautiful she looked."

He shrugged a little and nuzzled his face in my neck. I smiled and resumed running my fingers along his scalp.

"Mom walked up to the table as if she hadn't put my dad and me through hell for the last three months. I couldn't even speak. I just sat there with my mouth hanging open as she put her hand on my shoulder and started whispering to my dad. My dad told me to stay where I was and walked out the door with her.

"I knew it was wrong, that I shouldn't have done it, but they were gone for a long time. The longer I sat, the angrier I became. Finally, I caught the attention of a waiter and ordered a Jack and Coke." He snorted softly. "The waiter didn't even ask for my license. I was underage, I was at my father's company party and I'm the child of an alcoholic. I never should have ordered that drink or the ones after it, but I did."

He paused, shaking his head against my shoulder. I tightened my arms around him. I could feel his heartbreak, his sadness, as it radiated off him. There was no way for me to erase his pain. All I could do was use the warmth of my body to offer him some sort of comfort.

"I don't know how long he was gone, but eventually my dad came back to the table. He looked so pale, so defeated. He didn't say anything about my mom, just helped me when I stumbled from my chair. He told me he'd drive me home; we could come back in the morning for my car. He never said anything about my drinking, but I knew he was disappointed in me." We each took a deep breath. I dragged my lips across the top of his head and rested my face in his curls.

"We were almost at the car when she walked up behind us. She was standing with that older carnie who had been in my kitchen four years before. He started talking to my dad like they were old friends while he kept one arm wrapped around my mother's waist. I figured my dad would be furious, but he just turned and told me to get in the car.

"My mom started yelling at him, something about how I wasn't supposed to be in the car. He told her to come home, but she said...it wasn't her home anymore."

I gripped him tighter as the tears rolled down my cheeks. How dare this woman handle her child's heart so callously? He may have been a grown man when she left, but he was still her child. No wonder he had so much anger in his heart - his own mother had betrayed him. Anything that reminded him of her betrayal was a target for his rage.

I finally understood.

"My dad was pulling the car out of the parking space when she ran up and opened my door. She kept saying, 'He's not supposed to be in the car.' The old man grabbed her arm to pull her back, but she jerked away and grabbed my face. When I looked at her, she said 'coimhéad fearg fhear na foighde,' and then she was gone. My door slammed shut, my dad backed the rest of the way out and we drove away."

"Do you know what it means?" I asked, willing to tell him if he didn't. It was a well-known Irish proverb; Esme had probably said it a hundred times over the years.

"Beware the anger of a patient man," he said. I nodded my head and allowed him to continue.

I held him as he talked about snow-slicked roads and intersections. I rubbed my hands along his back as his voice became dead, void of emotion, talking about green lights and sliding trucks. I felt my tears dampening his hair as he tried to describe something no child should ever have to bear witness to, something too horrible to comprehend. I felt his arms lock around me, holding me tight, as he remembered what little he could of the accident that took his father from him, as he spoke of glass and blood and snow and pain.

I said nothing as I absorbed the words. We sat wrapped around each other, the tangy scent of tears weaving between us. At some point, the sun finally climbed high enough to shine over the top of Thunderhead Mountain. The sky lit up in hues of orange and pink, the ever-present wispy clouds around the summit tinted purple. Just as I had told Edward a few days ago, the fog rose from the lake in a blanket of white, blurring everything around us until it appeared as if we were floating in a cloud.

It was a peaceful balm to my battered heart.

When my tears stopped flowing, I leaned back, looking down at Edward as I did. He lifted his head from my shoulder and gazed at me, his eyes filled with more heartache than any person should have to carry on their own.

"She knew, Bella," he said. I pulled my eyebrows together in confusion, so focused on his pain I didn't understand what he was saying. "She was upset I was in the car when I wasn't supposed to be. It was a last minute decision by my dad to drive me home because I had been drinking. She knew about the accident. She knew..." He groaned and dropped his head back to my shoulder.

As the sky burned with the light of a new day and the mist rose from the mountains in a veil of peace and tranquility, Edward said the words that brushed the final colors on the picture his memories had been painting in my head.

A splattering of black - the color of night, of evil. A feathering of gray - the color of loneliness and despair. And one last stroke, bold and broad, growing wider as it neared the bottom of the canvas. A stroke of vibrant red.

The color of blood.

"She knew he was going to die, and she did nothing to stop him. She had this powerful gift, and she knew, but she didn't use it to save the one person she had vowed to love. Instead, she used it to be there when he died, to see the carnage herself. She could have stopped it, but she didn't. She could have saved him, saved me, but she didn't.

"She killed him, Bella."

**xXxXx**

Two hours later I sat at my kitchen table, trying to come to grips with Edward's history. His mother had stood back and done nothing while his father drove off to his death. His gifted, carnie mother. I was still shocked by what he told me about her...about his life...about the accident.

The accident. Their car was crushed between two box trucks when his dad ran a red light. I had gaped at him when he told me about his injuries. There were many words and phrases I didn't understand at first - open book fracture, external fixators, necrosis of the bone. There were also things I did understand, and these made me realize how lucky he was to be alive. Things like internal bleeding, punctured lung, intracranial hematoma.

Edward's body had been broken in the accident: broken arm, leg, hip, pelvis, ribs. He had emergency surgery to stop the bleeding in his abdomen and stabilize his pelvic bones. Over the course of a yearlong hospital stay, he had several more surgeries. He dealt with stitches, drains, grafts, pins, screws and plates. Finally, the doctors decided he needed a complete hip replacement on his right side because the bones were too damaged to survive.

I now knew the box truck that slammed into his side of the car caused the scars on Edward's face. The momentum of the truck made his head slingshot into the passenger side window. The force of the blow triggered severe bleeding on his brain, and the glass left the skin of his right cheek in tatters.

I also knew the box truck that struck his father's side of the car had connected at an angle. The forward impact snapped the driver's seat from the brackets holding it in place and forced his father's body into the steering wheel. He died from his injuries while Edward was still on the operating table.

All because his father didn't notice the light turn red.

All because his mother…

I sighed as I thought about his mother again - his manipulative, conniving, gifted, carnie mother. All of his words of hate, his judgment, his anger, his pain – all of it came back to her.

She was the reason he was so broken inside.

I stood up and walked quietly into the living room. Edward was napping on the couch, curled on his side under my quilt. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his still form. He looked so much younger, more peaceful, when he was asleep. I reached forward and swept my fingers gently across his cheekbone. I brushed a few wayward locks off his face, but they stubbornly fell back across his forehead.

"I've never been able to control it," he said, startling me. I moved to pull my hand away, but he grabbed my wrist and held me in place.

"Control is the surprising outcome of letting go," I said quietly, paraphrasing a favorite quote of Renee's. "I didn't mean to wake you."

I twisted my arm, sliding my fingers down and around to interlace with his. He opened his eyes and stared into mine, smiling.

"Hi," he said. I grinned at the simplicity of his word. After two days of long, difficult conversations, the monosyllabic greeting was a refreshing change.

"Hi," I replied. He tugged gently on my hand, pulling my body toward his. I shook my head at him before I sat down on the floor in front of the couch and faced the fireplace. He draped his arm across my shoulder, keeping our hands connected. I felt a peaceful energy drape over me, and I welcomed the sensation.

"I'm not angry anymore," I said softly. "I understand why you said what you did. I don't agree with it, but I can see why you would make those assumptions about people like me."

"I never should have thought those things about you, let alone said them," he said. He squeezed my fingers tighter as he continued. "It's a horrible excuse, but when you were telling me about your gift, all I could think about was my mother. I pushed my feelings about her onto you."

"May I ask you a question?" I asked, smiling at the formality of my request. Edward rolled off the couch, still holding my hand, and sat on the floor next to me.

"You may," he replied, chuckling. I smiled at the fireplace. Instead of looking at each other, we both stared ahead, as if all the answers we were searching for were hidden on the sooty brick.

"What made you come here?" I asked. I worried he made the drive north because of Esme or Alice. I wondered if he had wanted to come or if he had been told to.

Edward sighed next to me and rubbed his thumb along the side of my hand.

"When I said...what I said on Sunday, I swear my heart stopped. When you ran out the door, it felt like my very soul was tied to you, and you were taking it with you. The farther away you ran, the more it hurt. I followed you, but I couldn't catch up. You pulled out of the camp, and it felt like everything around me imploded. I wanted to get in my car and chase after you, but Esme refused to let me leave. She even took my keys away."

We both laughed softly at this. Edward brought his hand across his chest to trace designs on my arm. I looked down to watch the movements, entranced by the grace of his fingers.

"I would have been here Sunday, Bella. I wanted to be here. I knew I needed to straighten things out, to apologize for being such a complete asshole." I nodded. At least he had wanted to follow me. He knew what he had said was wrong, and he wanted to fix it.

"Alice tracked me down Sunday afternoon. I was hiding in the performance tent, playing appallingly depressing dirges." He shook his head, and I smiled, remembering the music over the phone. "I thought for sure she was going to flay me for how I treated you, and I would have deserved it. But instead, she sat next to me on the piano bench and started telling me stories about you."

I looked at him then, startled. His verdant eyes met mine, warm and comforting. I looked for any sign of dishonesty, but the openness of his expression confirmed his statement. He was offering me the truth.

"She told me about your kindness, your generosity, about how sweet and gentle you are. She sat next to me and told me everything about your character, your beliefs. For two hours, she talked about you while I said nothing. I just listened. At the end of her Bella-monologue, she told me I should have taken the time to learn it all from you.

"I hurried back to the mobile home after she left. I begged Esme for my keys, but she refused to budge. She kept saying you needed time to 'firm up' before I could go to you." His eyes glimmered, and his soft smile changed to an amused smirk.

"Then on Monday, your dad came to see me," he said. I groaned and dropped my head back to rest on the couch cushion behind me. Edward chuckled quietly.

"It's probably not what you think," he said, leaning his upper body close to mine. I turned my head to ask him what was said and stopped breathing.

Edward's face was barely an inch away from mine.

My eyes were instantly drawn to his soft, pink lips. Everything about them called to me, begged me to touch, to feel...to taste. My breathing quickened and my lips parted as the energy between us began to pulse. It played along my skin - spinning, twisting, writhing.

"No one told me to come here, Bella," Edward whispered, his honeyed breath washing over me. I concentrated on his words, on the way they made his lips flex and spread. I may have whimpered softly when they formed my name. "Your dad convinced Esme to give me my keys back, and Tanya led the way, but they didn't convince me to make the trip. I wanted to be here. I needed to be here…with you."

He released our joined hands, moving his to rest on my waist. His other hand slid slowly around my opposite hip. The pull to be near him, to move closer to him, was like the waves crashing on the shore - rolling, growing stronger as the energy built behind them.

I dragged my eyes away from his lips. His brilliant green eyes blazed into mine. They drew me in, hypnotizing me with their own need. The look of desire on his face set my skin aflame, and I felt my body surrender to the gravity between us.

I lifted my right arm to drape around his neck, using the leverage to pull his chest against mine. I moved slowly, enjoying the tension building in the air, as we came together inch by overheated inch. I rubbed my nose along his jaw as our breath mingled between us, warm and wet.

His hands moved lower to grip my hips, lifting carefully as he pulled me against him. I obliged quickly, swinging one leg across his lap to straddle him against the couch. Once he was sure I was comfortable, he lifted his knees, trapping me more firmly against him. Every inch of my body was pulsating in time with the sensual energy licking at my skin.

His lips parted, and I watched with rapt attention as his tongue peeked out. It slid from left to right, leaving behind a glistening sheen. I tipped my head back a bit and took a shallow breath, moaning softly as the scents of caramel and honey massaged my senses.

With one firm tug, he pulled my body against him, capturing my lips with his.

I inhaled sharply as a rush of energy flared against my skin. Edward took advantage of my open mouth to flick his tongue softly against the inside of my bottom lip, groaning as he tasted my flesh. I wrapped my arms around his back, pulling him closer, needing to feel every inch of him, of his energy, twisted together with mine.

Just as my tongue was about to meet his, I felt a telltale buzz in my pocket. The bubble of caramel, honey and desire wrapped around us burst, and I was dropped unceremoniously back into reality.

A second later, my cell phone started playing _"Welcome to the Jungle"_ by Guns N Roses - the ringtone assigned to Jack Newton, owner of Eclipse Entertainment. He had one request whenever we encountered a break during carnival season: be reachable.

"Shit," I said against Edward's lips, breathless. No matter how much I wanted to pretend I couldn't hear the song, couldn't hear anything but the sound of Edward's lips meeting mine, there was no way I could ignore his call. Especially not after how I abandoned the Trion carnival on the last day.

I leaned back quickly, reaching into my pocket to pull out the offending gadget. It took me three tries to unlock the screen due to my trembling hands. I shifted my gaze to the floor before pressing the green connect button.

"Hey, Jack, what's happening?"

"Good afternoon, Bella," he said in his bourbon-cigarette voice. Jack was a three-pack-a-day smoker, and his sandpaper voice reflected that. "We've just signed a midway-only contract for this weekend. The group originally hired had to back out at the last minute. Can you be in Birmingham by tomorrow evening?"

"Of course," I replied, closing my eyes. The smell of clover honey permeated the room, and I fought my longing for the man in front of me to pay attention to the man on the phone.

"Perfect. We're going to be doing a three-day show in a little town called New London. I'll have Emmett email you the information."

"Sounds good, Jack," I said. "I'll see you tomorrow night. Safe travels."

"Safe travels to you, as well."

My eyes met Edward's as I pressed the end button and pocketed my phone. I gave him an apologetic smile. He smiled back softly, running his hands along my waist and squeezing gently.

I placed my hands on Edward's stomach, spreading my fingers to cover as much area as possible. His muscles clenched under my touch, and I felt the energy between us begin pulsing again. I sighed as I ran my hands up his abdomen, moving them slowly over his chest to wrap around his shoulders. I leaned forward, resting my forehead against his.

"We've got a contract for this weekend," I said. I closed my eyes as I began kneading his shoulders. His head lolled back and he groaned faintly, the sound attracting my body like a magnet. "We have to be in Birmingham tomorrow."

"What do we need to do before we leave?" he asked. His voice was mellow and deep, like the feel of cool leather moving under my overheated skin. The sound of it cutting through the silence made my body shiver against his. His fingers pressed more firmly into my waist, shifting my body against his again.

"I need to pack, I need to close up the cottage and then I need to start making phone calls," I said. I could feel my frustration building. I needed to call my mom, Tanya, Emily, Alice…yet all I wanted to do was curl up on Edward's lap and kiss him senseless.

"I'm here, too," he said, stroking my back over my hair. "You don't have to do it all alone."

"Don't worry about anything," I whispered, rubbing my nose along his cheekbone. I ran my hands up his neck, massaging gently all along the way. "I can take care of what needs to be done here."

"No, Bella," he said. "I'm here. We can do this together." He wrapped his arms around me, cuddling me against him as I nuzzled into his neck.

And though he meant the list of chores to be done before we could leave, I took his words to mean something more.

.

.

.

Control is never achieved when sought after directly. It is the surprising outcome of letting go. -James Arthur Ray

.


	9. Trust & Gasoline

_Disclaimer__: __I __do __not __own __these __characters__, __nor __do __I __make __money __off __writing __about __them__. __If __I __owned __them__, __the __books __and __movies __would __not __be __appropriate __for __people __under__ 18, __just __like __this __story__ - __consider __yourself __warned__. __This __plot__, __however__, __is __mine__ – __no __fiddling __with __it __without __my __express __permission__._

* * *

_._

Trust. Light, powdery, delicate. Like the smell of water lily blossoms on a warm, summer day. It hovered, swaddling me, filling me with a feeling of serenity.

The sun was warm and bright as I rested against the deck railing and looked out over the lake. I lifted my cup to my lips, taking another sip of the coffee I had been drinking since I returned home from my run.

I had woken just after dawn, feeling as if I had released a giant weight from my heart. The house had been quiet, the energy peaceful as I dressed and stretched. I felt the need for one last run, one last time to absorb the happiness this land offered me before I returned to the craziness of the carnival.

I heard one of the doors behind me open. I smiled as the warm sweetness of Edward's caramel scent drifted near. I didn't turn, choosing to continue my perusal of the view to the east. His hands moved into my peripheral vision first. He placed them on the railing to my left, wrapping his long fingers around the edge.

"Good morning," he mumbled. My heart sped in response. His voice was deep and somewhat gruff. It reminded me of the feel of his cheek against mine - soft skin, bristly stubble, melding together for the perfect balance of rough and sensual. It was a sound I wouldn't mind hearing on a regular basis.

I angled my head, my gaze drawn to the pale skin of his hands. My eyes traveled languidly along his muscled forearm, over his bicep and across his shoulder. I ran them farther up the length of his neck and over his chin, pausing when they reached his lips.

The memories of our time spent on the floor last night flickered through my mind – the delicious pressure of his hands pulling me toward him, the heat surrounding us as my body pressed against his, those velvety, pink lips opening, covering my own, inviting me inside.

I drew my bottom lip between my teeth, wishing for the hundredth time that Jack had waited just two more minutes before he had called. I looked up to his eyes. He was staring at my mouth, his lips slightly parted. I released my lip from my teeth, smiling slyly at the way his eyes moved over my face before meeting my own.

"Mornin," I replied. "How'd you sleep?" I twisted to face him, leaning my hip against the railing. I set my cup down and moved my hand to brush my fingers lightly across the back of his.

"Good…a little too good," he said. He rolled his hand around under mine, ending with it palm up. I ran my fingertips softly from his wrist to the tips of his fingers. He curled his hand into a relaxed fist, capturing mine. "That may have been the longest I've slept in years."

"That's a good thing, right?" I asked. I rubbed my thumb along the side of his hand in a subtle caress.

"Yes and no," he replied. He turned a bit to face me, taking a small step closer. "I feel more rested than most mornings, but my leg is stiff. I'll probably have to take a pain pill today."

"Do you have to take pills often?" I asked. I leaned toward him, smiling as the energy around us began to pulse along my overheated skin.

"Not really," he said quietly. His eyes were green fire, burning me down to my very soul. I couldn't look away. "I used to take them everyday, but over the last year or so I've been able to drop back to just a couple times a week."

"Oh." I took one final step, bringing my body flush against his. He wrapped his arm around my back, not releasing my hand. I brought my free hand up to the side of his face, running my fingertips along the shell of his ear, then trailing down his jaw.

"Would you like some coffee? I could run inside and make you a cup." He tightened his arm around me, moving his other one to wrap around my shoulders. He ran his nose along my cheekbone delicately, and I shivered in anticipation. He placed a light, feathery kiss at the corner of my mouth before moving his face away from mine.

My eyes darted to his - dark, intense and full of determination as he watched me. I inhaled sharply, tasting honey and vanilla on my tongue.

"I'd rather we stay right here for a few minutes, if that's okay with you." I rested my head against his chest and nodded, unable to speak around the lump forming in my throat. We held onto each other for several minutes as the lake twinkled in the distance.

"I know what you are…what we are to each other," Edward whispered abruptly, gripping me tighter against his chest. "If I'm completely honest with myself and you, I have to admit I want it, Bella. I want to give into this...attraction I feel whenever I'm around you. I want to feel it, follow it, drown in it…to know you feel it as strongly as I do. I want to get to know you slowly, to learn everything about you," he paused and lowered his voice until I almost couldn't hear him, "I want to fall in love with you." His voice grew louder yet more uncertain as he continued. "Do you think we can do that, chéadsearc? Can we go back to the beginning and start again?"

My heart stuttered. I knew what I wanted, but I didn't know if this was enough. His words were a place to start, a jumping off point, but I needed just a little more from him. I didn't need to know exactly what was at the bottom of the cliff we were on; I needed to know he would jump with me, if that's what I chose to do.

"Edward," I said quietly. I leaned back to look at him, meeting his worried gaze. "You're my fíorghrá and I'm yours. There's nothing we can't overcome as long as we're together, but we can't have doubts between us. I need to be sure you want this...me…all of me...because I am what I am. I have a gift, and that will never change. I'm not going to hide that part of myself."

"I don't want you to hide anything from me." He ran a single finger across my cheek, leaving a thin trail of flames in its wake. I stared into his eyes, so bright and alive this morning, so filled with possibilities.

"I have no doubts, Bella."

My heart raced, and the breath left my body in a sudden rush.

He wanted this, wanted me. I was standing on the edge of the biggest cliff I had ever been on in my life. My body began to tremble with the knowledge that I was about to jump…that _we_ were about to jump.

"Say it again," I whispered.

Edward stared into my eyes, wrapping his arms tighter around me.

"No doubts, Bella."

I moved my hand to the back of his neck and tugged gently.

"No doubts," I repeated. His eyes darted to my lips. I felt more than saw him lean into me. I reciprocated the movement, rising onto the balls of my feet. His lips had barely caressed my forehead when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I couldn't concentrate long enough to determine whose ringtone was playing. I was too wrapped up in the feeling of Edward's body against mine to care.

"Your phone," he murmured. The movement caused his lips to barely brush my own. I sighed at the sparks the simple contact created. The pulsing energy, the smell of clover honey, the feeling of longing racing through my body – all of it melted together into one overwhelming sensation of delight.

"They can wait." I pressed my lips against his softly before gently sucking his bottom lip between mine. He moaned quietly and tightened his arms around me. I pressed my body into his, the energy swirling around us quickly becoming demanding and needy. I felt his tongue run lightly across my top lip. The sizzle this simple motion sent shooting through my abdomen was enough to make me gasp, and Edward groaned as my tongue finally slid along his.

A tidal wave of sensation pulled me under, drowning me in scent and taste and feel and light. There was nothing distinct, nothing to grasp onto, as I was carried away by the caramel, the sparks, the moans, the honey, the warmth and the green fire.

I was breathless, desperate for more. Our tongues continued to move together – sliding, caressing, twirling around each other in a dance of seduction. I moaned loudly, unable to stop myself. Every instinct, every primal part of my brain seemed to be screaming for two things.

More...Closer...

Edward responded to my moan with a grunt and released my hand from his. He dragged both of his hands down my back and over my hips to grasp my legs just under the swell of my ass. I shifted against him, pleading without words for his hands to touch more, to feel more. To give me exactly what I desired.

More...Closer...

With one smooth tug, he lifted me from the ground, our mouths never losing contact. My legs moved to encircle his thighs automatically as he placed me gently on the railing. My entire body seemed to sigh as I wrapped myself completely around him.

More...Closer...

I stroked my hands around his hips, gripping his belt loops and pulling him to me. We both gasped when his erection ground into me, all warm and hard and pushing against the most sensitive part of me. It felt so good, so right...but it just wasn't enough.

More...Closer...

The scent of honey exploded in the air. It drenched me in sweetness as my entire body tingled from the energy flowing between us.

"Jesus, Bella…so warm," he growled. I shifted my hips against his, the resulting tingles sending sparks shooting down my legs.

More...Closer...

Edward moved rhythmically against me as I gripped him tightly. He placed open-mouthed kisses along my jaw line, running his tongue deliberately across my skin. The electricity between us was feverish and intense, rolling along every inch of my body as I moved in tandem with him, pulling him into me with every ounce of strength I possessed.

More...Closer...

My heart was racing, lungs stinging. I dropped my head back, desperate for air. This was all so much. The fire smoldering through my body was like nothing I had ever felt before, and I didn't want it to end. I wanted it to burn me, rage inside me, consume me.

More...Closer...

Edward took advantage of my position by moving his mouth from my jaw to my neck – nibbling, sucking, licking his way down toward my collarbone. This was more...this was so much more. More than just physical; more than teeth and tongue and skin and flesh.

This was everything.

I whimpered quietly, willing to beg him not to stop...needing him, wanting him, craving him. My body responded automatically to the passion he was evoking in me. Every sensation, every minuscule movement, was done without thought, without care. It was the most natural thing in the world to be completely wrapped up in this man, together under the sun.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, creating an uncomfortable buzz between my hip and Edward's stomach. We may as well have been doused with a bucket of cold water. The bubble of heat and want and need encircling us burst immediately, leaving me feeling shaky, restless.

We stilled as we listened to the annoying clamor coming from my pocket. I sighed, leaning my head forward onto Edward's shoulder, trembling slightly. He chuckled into my neck, moving his hands around to my legs. He kneaded my thighs, massaging from my knee to my hip and back again.

My phone continued to vibrate between us, muffled notes of a disjointed song trilling in the air. I didn't reach to answer it, taking a moment to catch my breath instead.

Edward placed one last, wet kiss on my neck before he nuzzled into my shoulder.

"Remind me to throw my phone in the lake before we leave," I growled. My body was tense, needing a release it wasn't going to get… at least not today. Edward snorted softly. We stood silently for a few minutes, just enjoying the comfort of being in each other's arms.

"I'm glad I followed you here," he whispered. He wrapped his arms around my waist and cuddled against me. I squeezed my legs against his hips, relishing the hardness and the heat I could feel through the cotton layers between us.

"I'm glad you did, too." Edward's breath rushed out, as if he had been holding it, and his arms tightened around me.

I smiled and placed three kisses along his neck, not releasing him from my embrace. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. Caramel, vanilla, honey and the cool, crisp scent of rain.

**xXxXx**

I locked the door behind me, running my fingers along the frame one last time. It was a ritual I acted out whenever I left my home for the road. One last touch, one last promise to be back as soon as possible.

"I think I'm going to miss this place," Edward said from the porch swing. I looked over at him, smiling.

"I always miss it when I'm gone. I love my job, I love the travel, but I love this place, too." I paused, glancing around the front of the house before returning my gaze to Edward. He looked so comfortable, sitting in my swing with one arm thrown across the back. He exuded an air of relaxation and peace...of belonging.

It was as if he was meant to be in that seat, on this porch, swinging gently to and fro as the sun slowly warmed the earth around him.

"Are we ready to go?" he asked, standing and stretching. His t-shirt rode up over the band of his jeans, giving me a glimpse of the reddish-brown hair peeking above the denim.

"You might want to change into shorts," I said, still eyeing the way his jeans hugged his hips. He stilled, and I brought my eyes up to meet his, cocking my head to the right as we smiled shyly at one another. "It's going to be hot and humid in Alabama. I wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable."

He looked down quickly, then back up, looking a little embarrassed. "I don't wear shorts. They, uh, tend to show the scars on my leg." He motioned to his thigh with his right hand. His discomfort was almost palpable. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Well, then, we'll just have to figure out another way to keep you from overheating." I stretched up, pressing my lips against his chin. He smiled and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

"Thank you," he whispered, visibly relaxing again before placing a sweet kiss on the tip of my nose.

"We should get on the road," I said, snuggling into his chest. "We're meeting my parents in Anniston for a quick dinner, and then we have to pick up my trailer from the storage lot there." I reluctantly released my hold on him, wishing we could stay here for just a few more days.

"Is Aunt Esme meeting us in New London?" he asked. He wove his fingers through mine and led me off the porch. We strolled slowly along the driveway, stopping when we reached the driver's side door of my truck.

"No, Esme never goes to Alabama," I said, snorting a little. Edward looked slightly confused, so I decided to fill him in on one of his aunt's oddest quirks. "She hates Alabama...refuses to step foot there. If we have to drive through it, she won't even stop along the way. She just drives straight through every time. And she never works the carnivals there. She'll probably meet up with us when we roll into Florida in a couple of weeks."

I shrugged and unlocked the truck. Edward reached past me to open the door, placing one hand on my lower back as he stretched against me. The feeling of his body so near to mine, touching in some places but not in others, was a delicious tease for my senses. I lifted up on my toes and placed a quick kiss on his cheek. He gave me a brilliant smile as I dropped my weight back onto my heels.

"Why is she so against Alabama?" He placed a hand under my elbow, supporting me as I hopped up into the truck. I turned to face him, straddling the corner of the seat. His face was even with mine. I took advantage of our position and ran my hands through his hair, massaging his scalp with my fingertips. He groaned and leaned into me, grabbing me by my hips.

"No one knows," I said, rubbing my hands down the back of his neck and along his shoulders as he nuzzled into my neck. All this touching, these simple acts of affection, were making me giddy. Surrendering to the gravity between us gave me a better endorphin rush than running a marathon.

"Whenever someone asks, Alice tells them Esme has a warrant out for her arrest." I giggled, snuggling further into Edward's warmth. "You should see the looks people give her. Sweet, motherly Esme…a criminal."

I froze the moment the word 'criminal' left my lips. I hadn't meant to remind Edward of his mother, and I worried I may have hurt his feelings.

"Sorry," I whispered, gripping him tightly. "I didn't mean-"

"It's okay," he interrupted, chuckling softly. "I understand what you're saying." He rubbed his hands along the outside of my thighs, massaging gently. I sighed and relaxed my hold on him.

"We should get going," he said after a few moments. He pulled away, his hands lingering on my legs. I pulled my arms from around his neck and ran my fingertips down his arms, finally resting my hands on top of his.

"You're going to follow me, right?" The idea of not being able to touch or talk to him for the next five hours darkened my mood significantly. I wished we could drive together, but that just wasn't possible.

"Of course," he said, leaning forward to brush his lips against mine. "I'd follow you anywhere." He stepped back again, gripping my fingers lightly as he raised our arms in between us. We remained touching until the last possible second, our arms falling to our sides when our fingers could no longer reach. I smiled at him and turned to face the front of my truck. Edward grinned at me as he retreated toward his Mustang.

I started my truck and closed the door, still a little sad over my temporary separation from Edward. It was mind-boggling to me, the need I felt for him. Everything in my life was changing so fast, but there was no doubt in my mind I was headed in the right direction with him. As soon as I knew he wanted all of me, the second I heard the words, my heart had joined with his, forever entwined as we leapt from the cliff…together.

No doubts.

The ringing of my cell phone interrupted my musings. I huffed in irritation before pressing the connect button, never looking at the screen.

"Yeah," I said abruptly, concentrating on making the sharp turn onto Butterfly Gap Road.

"Bellzabubble, how ya' doin', babe?" I couldn't help but smile at the jovial voice coming through the speaker.

"I'm good, Emmett. What's going on?" I rolled through the turnaround cautiously before speeding up as I angled onto the highway.

"I just wanted to check on you. I heard some rumblings about you maybe not coming back." I almost dropped the phone in shock, swerving a bit as I fumbled with it.

"Not coming back? Who would be dumb enough to say something like that?"

"A couple of people, actually," he responded. "Alec even asked if he could take over your position on the midway."

My temper flared as I sped up. I now had another reason to want this trip to pass as quickly as possible. My spot on the midway was perfect for my game, attracting a lot of traffic and bringing big profits to me. I wasn't about to let someone else try to bump me into a different location.

"You tell Alec I _am_ coming back," I said angrily. "My spot on the midway is _not_available. Besides, his stupid Milk Jug game would throw off the balance on my side of the track. Stupid, ugly, brown, fake jugs…you know he weights the bottom ones, don't you?"

Emmett chuckled through the phone. We had argued over the ethics of the midway games for years. I didn't like any games that could be skewed by altering the conditions of the playing field. It just didn't seem fair to me. Emmett had no such reservations, preferring to support any game that could make the owner, and therefore the carnival itself, the most money.

"Yeah, Bell, I know. I think everyone knows. That's why people don't like to play that game. Look, I just wanted to be sure you were coming back. I've been really worried about you." I felt a little guilty as I realized how much I had probably upset my friends over the last week. I was definitely going to have to do a little apologizing once I was back in camp.

"I know, Em, and I'm sorry. I should have called you to let you know I was okay," I said softly into the phone. He may have been loud and brash most of the time, but Emmett had a soft spot for some of the carnie kids. He had always been a great friend to me, and I should have realized my actions would have bothered him.

"It's alright," he said, sounding a little brighter. "Buy me a funnel cake when you get back, and we'll call it even." I laughed loudly, knowing how obsessed Emmett was with funnel cakes. He probably ate at least three every day when the carnival was open. Charlotte and Peter, the couple that owned the funnel cake and lemonade cart, were constantly joking about Emmett being their best customer.

"It's a deal," I said, still laughing. "And Em?"

"Yeah, kid?"

"Thanks...for everything."

"Anytime, Bell. I'll see you in a few hours. Safe travels." I heard the click of his phone disconnecting before I dropped mine into the console next to me. The phone immediately started ringing again, and I sighed as I picked it up.

"What now?" I asked, assuming it was just Emmett calling me back.

"I was just hoping you'd be glad I didn't remind you to throw your phone in the lake."

"Hey," I said softly, smiling at the feeling of comfort Edward's voice instilled in me.

"Hey." The smile in his voice made my heart race, and I sat back in my seat to get more comfortable. I glanced in the rearview mirror. Edward sat behind the wheel of his blue Mustang, one hand on the steering wheel. He looked so masculine with his body leaning just a bit to the right and his sunglasses covering his eyes. I refocused on the road before the picture of him distracted me from driving.

"I thought we could talk for some of the drive," he said. "Maybe get to know each other a little better."

He sounded so unsure, and I hurried to reassure him. "I think that's a great idea."

And so we talked.

For two hundred miles, we told tales of our youth, of our teenage years, of friends and enemies, of things we did and what we saw. I learned how much he liked soccer and baseball but how he could no longer play…not since the accident. I learned about his abhorrence for peas and that he liked to tinker on old cars. He learned about my love affair with all things peach-flavored and how Alice used to dye my hair with peroxide and Kool-Aid.

"Really?" he asked, laughing. We had just passed the Alabama state line, heading south on I-59. "Orange and green?"

"Don't laugh," I replied, pretending to be much more serious than I was feeling. "Those bangs were killer. Green and orange stripes looked good on me." I laughed, knowing how ridiculous this had to sound to him.

"I think anything would look good on you." My smile widened, and my face heated as I giggled at his obvious flirting.

"What about you?" I asked. "Any hair disasters you want to tell me about?"

"My hair is one constant disaster, so no," he said with a laugh. "I like the purple in yours. It suits you."

"Thanks," I replied. "It matches one of my tattoos." I knew I hadn't told him about my tattoos yet, but I was really anxious to learn about his. Ever since I had seen the telltale shadow peeking through his t-shirt on Sunday, I had wanted to explore his ink and hear the stories behind it.

"How many tattoos do you have?" he asked.

"Just three. What about you?"

"I guess technically I have five, but they're all connected." I furrowed my eyebrows a bit as I thought about this.

"What do you mean they're all connected?"

"I'll show you sometime. It's hard to explain," he replied. "What about me? Do I get to see your tattoos?"

I laughed, knowing where my tattoos were located.

"Sure, the only problem is I'm probably going to have to be naked for you to see them all." I heard a rush of air and watched as Edward's Mustang swerved into the next lane.

"Jesus," he said, sounding rattled. He corrected the swerve, sliding easily back into place behind me.

"Oh my gosh, are you okay?" I asked quickly. I kept bouncing my eyes from the road in front of me to the blue Mustang behind me, worried one of us would get into an accident.

"Yeah," he said, chuckling nervously. "How about we not talk about you being naked right now, at least not while we're driving?"

"I'm so sorry," I replied, berating myself silently. I should have been more careful of my words. The last thing I wanted to do was put Edward in any kind of danger, though I had to admit, a small part of me was thrilled that just the thought of me naked was enough to make him lose control of his concentration. That was good information to have for later.

"Don't be. It's my fault for getting distracted."

With that, we were back to discussing safer subjects: music we loved and hated, movies that made us think or cry or laugh, books we could read a hundred times and the ones we hoped never to open again.

"How can you love Jack London but hate Hemingway?" he asked as we drove through Fort Payne.

"I don't hate Hemingway; I hate _The__Old__Man__and__the__Sea_. It may be the most boring book ever written. I swear, I thought I was going to slit my wrists from the monotony of it when Esme made me read that damn book."

"You honestly prefer _The__Call__of__the__Wild_ to Hemingway? Huh," he said, sounding truly surprised. He was silent for an uncomfortable length of time as the road flew past.

"Is my dislike for Hemingway a deal-breaker for you?" I asked, joking….mostly.

Edward was quiet for a few seconds before he whispered, "No doubts, Bella." My heart melted, and I smiled at the leather in his voice. "So, how do you feel about _The__Canterbury__Tales_?"

About an hour later, we were exiting the interstate near Gadsden when the conversation shifted to our histories with the opposite sex.

"What was your longest relationship?" I asked him. I kept my voice low, wishing we were sitting together, touching, while talking about this. It seemed too intimate a conversation to have with so much space between us.

"I dated a girl for about six months in college," he answered, his voice tentative. "My life at home always made making friends and socializing difficult. After the accident, I just really didn't have the time. Between surgeries and hospitals and therapy and school…everything else fell to the wayside." We were both silent for a bit as I lead the way southeast.

"What about you? You said you'd never…"

I remembered the conversation he was bringing up; when I told him about never meeting someone I wanted to be special to me. I was amazed to think that was only four days ago. It seemed as if much more time had passed since those stolen moments in my trailer.

"I've never been in a relationship," I replied shyly. "After my mom and Phil met, after I felt the pull between them, I wasn't going to settle for less than that…than true love. I knew that's what I wanted. It's what I've always wanted...I just had to be patient." My voice was quiet, soft, as I opened my heart to him.

We were quiet again for a few minutes. The music playing through my speakers filled the silence in my cab and helped to cover the sound of rubber and asphalt and combustion.

"Pull over, Bella," he said suddenly. Shocked, I glanced in the rearview mirror to see if something was wrong.

"Is everything okay? We only have about thirty more miles-"

"Please, just…pull over." Something in his voice tugged at my heart, and I quickly signaled to change lanes. After just a few minutes, I braked to a stop on the side of the highway and reached for the door handle. Edward pulled it open before I could grasp the handle, startling me. My eyes darted to his, and what I saw there made my breath catch – desire, need, adoration – all smoldering behind the glassy green.

"Bella," he gasped just before his lips met mine. He pulled my body against his, his lips moving furiously over mine. The longing I had felt for him since we parted in my driveway surged the moment we touched, demanding _more_. I threw my arms around his neck, yanking him closer, moaning as his tongue met mine.

The kiss calmed slowly, becoming less demanding need and more unhurried enjoyment, as other vehicles flew past. When our lips finally slowed to the point of chaste brushes, we pulled apart slightly; Edward rested his forehead against mine after pressing three soft kisses to the tip of my nose.

"My fíorghrá," I whispered, rubbing my hands over his jaw and cheeks.

"You have no idea how much I like hearing that." My heart ached and tears filled my eyes as the honesty behind his words washed over me. "Let's get the trip over with. I'm tired of having to be so far away from you." He kissed my forehead as he tried to pull away from me. I grabbed the hair at the nape of his neck and tugged gently, bringing his lips back to mine for one last kiss.

"One for the road," I said saucily. He laughed, turning to go back to his car.

"Drive safely," he yelled before climbing in his car. I couldn't control the grin on my face as we carefully pulled into traffic, headed for Anniston.

**xXxXx**

Phil called me when we were about five miles outside of Anniston. They were running quite a bit late, which really wasn't a surprise. Renee was not exactly known for her punctuality. I decided to meet up with them on Noble Street. Edward and I could grab a quick dinner, then stop somewhere and grab take-out for the two of them so they could eat on the road.

None of us wanted to be late for the kick-off meeting.

We had a little extra time before we needed to head over to the business district, so I decided to take Edward to see my favorite part of this little town. Traveling all over the southeastern states for the past seven years meant I had found many odds and ends along the way to keep me entertained. This happened to be one of my absolute favorites.

"It's...a chair," he said, looking up.

"It's the biggest chair in the United States; it used to be the biggest in the world," I replied, staring up at the thirty-one feet tall metal structure.

"Yes, but it's a chair. And not even like a decorative chair. It's...an office chair," Edward said, amazed. I nodded and laughed.

"Exactly. Where else can you see a ten-ton office chair but here?" I swung my arms wide, indicating the town around us. Edward looked at me as if I was crazy for a few seconds before laughing loudly.

"You really know how to make life interesting," he said, shaking his head.

Ten minutes later, we were parking near one of my favorite restaurants.

"Whenever we're within fifty miles, I come here to eat." I walked backwards, leading Edward toward the familiar black awnings while gripping one of his hands between mine. He was laughing with me as we entered the beautiful restaurant. A busty, blonde hostess all in black met us just inside the iron-trimmed doors.

"Hello and welcome to Classic on Noble. Table for two?"

"Please," I responded politely, still holding Edward's hand in mine.

"Right this way," she said, smiling. We followed her through the warm rooms as I admired the beautiful wood floors and trim. There were very few patrons; it was still a little early for the dinner rush.

"This place has the best shrimp and grits in the state," I whispered to Edward as we walked. "You have to try it."

"What's in it?" he asked. I schooled my face into a serious expression.

"Shrimp and grits, of course." I laughed when I saw how confused he looked. "It's shrimp scampi over grits with collard greens, Andouille sausage, tomatoes and Parmesan cheese. Seriously - it may be one of the best meals ever invented. You have to try it!" I released his hand when we reached our table.

We sat next to each other, our fingers lightly brushing together on top of the white tablecloth. Edward still didn't look convinced on the shrimp and grits, so I leaned against his shoulder and murmured in his ear, "Trust me, a stór."

His eyes met mine as I sat back in my seat, just watching him. He raised his hand to push my hair gently behind my ear.

"Okay."

**xXxXx**

Dinner was even better than expected. The food, the ambiance, the company, the conversation... everything mixed together to create this perfect event, this perfect moment in time.

"Thank you again," I said. Edward had taken me by surprise when he demanded to pay for our meal. I guess I should have expected it, really, but I was so used to paying my own way that it caught me off guard.

We walked to the sandwich shop down the street. Phil had called again, saying they were only about fifteen minutes away. We decided to buy him and Renee a couple of sandwiches for the road so they wouldn't have to stop any longer than necessary.

"You're welcome," he replied, wrapping his arm tighter around my waist. "I owed you a dinner."

I looked up at him, not understanding what he meant. When he saw the confused look on my face, he glanced away from me.

"Sunday. I asked you to dinner, but..." I couldn't believe I had forgotten. The moment came back to me as we walked – the intensity of his stare, the way he fumbled for the words, the electricity between us. I smiled at the memory, refusing to think of the reason why we never ended up going on that date.

"Well, I'm glad our first date was here...at my favorite restaurant. It'll be nice to come back and relive this night over and over again," I said. Edward stopped walking, tugging on my waist gently. I twisted and stepped into his embrace, happy to have his arms around me once more.

"Thank you for giving me another opportunity to take you out on a date," he said before placing a gentle kiss against my lips. Trust, peace, and faith all barely brushed across my senses, giving me even more confidence I had made the right decision where Edward was concerned.

"Anytime."

**xXxXx**

After meeting up with Phil and Renee and delivering their much-welcomed dinner, Edward and I decided to allow Phil to lead the way to New London. They followed me to the storage lot where Tanya texted me my trailer was being housed. Phil helped me hitch it to the truck as Renee fawned over Edward's car. She always did have a thing for Mustangs.

Our little caravan pulled out of town shortly thereafter, leaving us with plenty of time to arrive at the camp. We would probably even be able to set up our living spaces for the weekend before the kick-off meeting with Jack Newton.

Jack's pre-carnival meetings were a lot like the first day of school. He checked to make sure everyone was present, discussed the basic setup of the area we would be covering, confirmed the schedule of events and then gave out booth assignments. A game's position along the midway could make or break the booth owner's profit margin for the weekend. No one wanted to be at the very back of the midway, hidden away near the port-o-potties and the generator trucks. Of course, being right at the entrance wasn't good either, where people would pass by, wondering if there was a better game along the way.

Everyone wanted to be tucked in the middle where the majority of the patrons would stop and play. Phil and Renee's Roll-A-Ball booth was usually placed at the front half of the prized middle section, while my Water Race was closer to the back. The other games around me were all family-friendly, fair games with constant winners – it was a popular section with the patrons.

Edward and I continued chatting on the short drive to New London. The conversation was light and easy, centering on our favorite foods and restaurants. We ended our call when we reached the south end of Avondale Lake, where the carnival would be set up along a couple of streets.

Phil led us to the parking lot of an empty strip mall nearby. There was a crowd of carnies already setting up their individual trailers, campers and mobile homes. The controlled chaos of the scene reminded me of a beehive.

Our camp would be much smaller than usual this time. Eclipse would only be providing the midway for the fair, meaning none of the ride jockeys or food vendors would be joining us. I didn't like mixed vendor shows like this. Not all carnivals were run like ours, and not all carnies were as friendly as we were.

Some of the other carnies out there could be downright scary.

I pulled my trailer alongside Phil's mobile home once he selected his spot on the cracked asphalt. Phil came over to help me unhitch the truck before walking off to join Renee in whatever it was she was doing. I had pulled out the metal stairs on the side of the trailer and was attempting to unlock the door, my backpack sliding down my arm, when I noticed Edward walking over.

"Bella, wait," he yelled. I turned to see him hurrying toward me. He smoothly dodged a few of the other carnies and the golf carts whizzing around as he approached. There was something so sexy about the way his body moved through the mayhem. Not as smooth as some of the others, but without the telltale limp I had noticed before.

As soon as he reached my side, he grabbed the heavy backpack I was carrying and threw it over his own shoulder. "Let me help you with that."

"Thanks." I turned to face the door and tried wiggling the key in the lock again. "What the hell is wrong with this-"

Three things happened all seemingly within the same second.

The key finally engaged the tumblers, unlocking the door, which flew open in front of me.

I fell to the floor from the force of Edward shoving me forward.

The entire trailer jerked under me as a loud crash sounded from what seemed like right next to my head.

"What the…" I began but stopped as the scents around me registered.

Gasoline, caramel, oil, sunshine, smoke, citrus…blood.

"Bella," Edward yelled as I felt his body move off mine. "Call an ambulance!"

.

.

.


	10. Vinegar & Mirepoix

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission_

* * *

_._

_Gasoline, caramel, oil, sunshine, smoke, citrus…blood._

"_Bella," Edward yelled as I felt his body move off mine. "Call an ambulance!"_

I pulled myself from the floor of the trailer, stunned by the sight that met me.

The captain's chair to my left leaned forward, hovering at a forty-five degree angle over top of me. The corner behind the chair was crushed inward. The contents of the cabinet hanging along the back wall fluttered to the floor around me – maps, files, boxes of receipts. My business records for the entire summer, strewn like garbage…like useless pieces of paper.

I would have cried if I hadn't realized there was smoke pouring in from the damaged corner. I hurried through the door to find my friends and family…to find Edward.

Other carnies were running as they approached. There was a lot of arm waving and yelling, but what captured my attention was a Jeep. A large, black Jeep parked right outside my door, which was awfully close to my trailer. When I was far enough away to see the scene from a different perspective, I realized the Jeep wasn't just close to my trailer.

It was embedded in the corner of it.

That explained the crash, the shifting of the floor, the damage inside. My stomach tensed and my heart raced as I realized how close the Jeep must have come to crashing into Edward and me. The right side of the front bumper was less than a foot away from the doorway Edward had pushed me through just moments ago.

He must have seen the Jeep coming. He must have known it was going to hit us.

I needed to find him...to find the source of the scent of blood still twisting against my senses.

I followed the crowd of people gathering on the other side of the Jeep. I froze, relieved, when I glimpsed the familiar profile of my Edward kneeling beside something on the ground. He looked worried and pale as he moved hurriedly over the lumpy, white shape.

The lumpy, white shape with a cloud of long, shiny, black hair surrounding it.

"No, no, no," I whispered. Fear gripped my heart. I rushed forward, shoving people out of my way.

"Alice!" I yelled as I drew closer. Edward looked up, his verdant eyes locking on mine for just a moment. The expression on his face sent a chill down my spine – pain, anger, fear… mostly fear.

I pushed through the last of the gawkers, only stopping when I was close enough to kneel next to Alice. She wasn't conscious, but she seemed to be breathing normally. Blood pooled on the pavement near her head, and a large bruise was beginning to form across her forehead.

"What happened?" I asked, glancing repeatedly around her still form. I wanted to _do_ something, to help her in some way. My inability to fix her made me tense, and the energy around me buzzed painfully against my skin as a result. There was too much noise, too much activity around us.

I pressed my shoulder against Edward's, needing a physical connection with him to calm myself.

"That Jeep almost crushed her." He sounded defeated, as if he had somehow failed to protect his cousin. I glanced back over to the Jeep, only then recognizing it. It was Emmett's Jeep in the side of my trailer. I had to assume he was the one driving, that he caused all of this.

"Your mom tried to pull her out of the way, but they both ended up in the path of the trailer as it slid." I jerked back in surprise.

"My mom?" I asked, panicking. "Where is she? Is she hurt? What did-"

"Bella, sweetheart, stop!" Edward interrupted. "She's okay. She's right over there with Phil." He pointed toward my parents' mobile home. I stretched, trying to see past the chaos around us. For one brief instant, I saw Renee through the crowd. She was curled around Phil, resting her head on his chest. She looked pale and shaken, but otherwise appeared to be all right.

"Sorry," I said, resting on my heels once more. Edward quickly placed a finger against my lips, silencing me.

"Don't apologize for worrying about your family," he said. He looked back down at Alice, the fear I saw earlier taking over his expression once more. He brushed the hair away from her face slowly, sweetly. I linked my fingers with his, feeling the strands of Alice's hair sliding beneath our joined hands.

Suddenly warm arms and the smell of sunshine surrounded me. I rocked back and released Edward's hand as my mom wrapped herself around me.

"Baby. Are you all right? You didn't get hurt, did you?" Renee asked hurriedly. She leaned back and started running her hands over my hair, my face, my shoulders. Her touch was anxious, frantic. I placed my hands on her arms to still her. I had noticed her wince whenever she lifted her left arm, and I didn't want her injuring herself any worse than she already was.

I nodded quickly. "I'm fine, I think. Edward pushed me out of the way." He glanced at me before returning his gaze to his cousin, seemingly embarrassed. "Are you okay, Mom? Edward said you were hit by the trailer."

She had to wait to answer, as Emmett was shouting for the crowd to move back. I tensed immediately upon hearing his voice. I wanted to jump up, to run after him, to yell and scream and hurt him for causing all of this. I wanted him to be as afraid as I was, as Edward was.

Unfortunately, Renee and Edward needed me. Alice needed me. From the way Emmett was forcing people to move, waving and motioning while he yelled, I could assume he was making room for an ambulance to get through. Alice needed that ambulance more than I needed to beat Emmett senseless.

Besides, I would have plenty of time to deal with him once I knew my friend was safe.

When Emmett had moved far enough away to hear over his yelling, I motioned to Renee to continue.

"I'm okay," she said finally. "The trailer...it knocked me down, but I think I'm okay. Little Alice took the brunt of the blow, unfortunately." We both looked down at Alice's unconscious form. She looked so small, so pale. "I just couldn't get to her in time." I hugged Renee to me while her tears fell, only releasing her when I heard sirens in the distance.

I leaned in close, placing my mouth against her ear. "You'd better call Esme," I whispered to her. Edward looked so scared, so overwhelmed. I didn't want to saddle him with the responsibility of having to explain all of this to his aunt.

I hoped Esme wasn't too far away. If I knew her as well as I thought, she was going to be an absolute wreck until she could make sure Alice was all right with her own eyes.

She was also going to break every speed limit posted between wherever she was and the daughter that needed her.

Renee nodded, hugging me once more before moving off to the side where Phil and Jack Newton were standing. They appeared to be arguing about something, but the din from the other carnies and approaching emergency vehicles drowned out their words.

I placed my head on Edward's shoulder. His arm wrapped around my back, and he pulled me into his side tightly – supporting me, leaning on me.

Sirens, flashing lights and people in uniform separated us, and I spent the next thirty minutes explaining over and over again what little I knew about the accident. The police officer interviewing me smelled like coffee and something that made my skin itch, like starch.

His overly sweet smile and wandering eyes made my stomach turn. He winked, he complimented, he called me nicknames like 'sweets' and 'honey' – his obvious flirting did nothing but waste my time. I wanted him out of my way so I could find Edward and go to the hospital. His endless interrogation and insincere concern wore on my patience.

After another ten minutes, I reached my limit.

"Are we done yet," I glanced at his nametag, "Officer Kelly? The paramedics just took my mother and my best friend to the hospital. I'd really like to get there as soon as possible."

"Of course," he said, closing his notebook. "Just come with me." His eyes traveled down my body and back up, lingering on my chest. "I'll give you a ride." The look he gave me was predatory. I glared at him, biting my tongue.

The double entendre was perfectly clear, but I wasn't going to acknowledge it. I knew better than to do or say anything that could be seen as uncooperative. The prejudice against carnies was a detriment in these situations. If he saw me as anything other than respectful and polite, I'd be arrested. Small towns weren't very forgiving when outsiders came along and started trouble.

"That won't be necessary," I said stiffly. I moved to step around him, but he reached out and grabbed my arm to stop me. I felt a rush of energy flow over me at his unwelcomed touch, and I fought internally to control my anger.

This situation had the potential to get ugly very quickly.

"Let go of my arm," I said slowly. He squeezed harder, and I felt the power around me increase as my heart raced from the adrenaline rush. I struggled to hold the energy to me. I couldn't shock the officer; it would be a huge mistake to lose control at this moment.

In my world, there was a fine line between standing up for your rights and being arrested for assaulting an officer. I knew I was walking along the edge of it with Officer Kelly.

I took a deep breath as the smell of ozone hovered nearby. I thought of Alice and my mom, Esme and Edward. I thought of hovering mist and sunrises over Thunderhead.

I thought of anything to keep my emotions from rocketing out of control.

"I think you should consider my offer, sweets." He pulled me closer, forcing my body to bow back in response. His hand gripped me tightly, painfully. I bit my cheek to keep silent and held my face in a scowl. I would never allow him to see my pain, my fear.

The smell of cut grass suddenly overpowered the ozone and starch smells around me.

"I believe the lady told you to let go of her, Officer."

I kept my eyes on the officer's face as he glanced over my shoulder. The energy around me lessened, and my heart began to slow as I realized who was behind me. Phil's voice was harsh, angry.

It wasn't a tone I heard coming from him often.

"I don't believe this is any concern of yours," the officer said, puffing up his chest and glaring as Phil came to stand beside me. Phil placed his hand on my arm, directly above Officer Kelly's, as if he wanted to pull me away.

"Anything that happens to my daughter is my concern." Officer Kelly's glare faltered, seeming surprised as he looked between me and the man I called Dad.

The man who was actually only ten years my senior.

Other carnies were starting to gather around us. Rule number one of interacting with the authorities as a carnie was never give them a reason to arrest you. Rule number two was that there was strength in numbers.

My carnie family was quickly coming to my aid.

Edward suddenly appeared on my other side, reaching down to grasp my hand with his. "Unless you're planning on pressing charges against the lady, sir, I suggest you release her," he said. "I would hate to have to call my father's law firm to resolve what I'm sure is a simple misunderstanding." His words were proper, polite, but his tone was clipped and forceful.

Phil wasn't the only man in my life who was angry with Officer Kelly.

The officer finally released my arm, glaring at the three of us as we stood in a united front. "You better watch your step. All of you." He looked at each of us in turn. "I don't want to have to come back here because some filthy carnie decides to try and start trouble in my town." He hitched his belt higher and walked away, strutting like a rooster in the henhouse.

I turned my head and rested it on Edward's shoulder to hide the tears forming in my eyes. This type of behavior wasn't new to me. I didn't like it, but I was used to it. We normally handled issues between carnies internally, only calling in the authorities when we absolutely had to. The judgments they made against us were usually not worth dealing with.

"Did he hurt you?" Edward asked. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, and Phil softly rubbed his hand over the red spot on my arm where the officer had grabbed me.

"No, I'm fine," I muttered. I took a couple of deep breaths and blinked my eyes to hold back my tears. The adrenaline was wearing off, leaving me feeling cold and shaky in its wake. I wanted to drag Edward back to my trailer, crawl under my quilt with him and try to forget the last hour of my life.

My little scare was the least of our worries right now, though. Alice and Renee were at the local hospital, and they needed us. All three of us.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Phil asked quietly. I pulled myself from Edward's arms and turned, focusing on the group of carnies still hovering nearby.

"I'm fine. Really." I made sure to speak loud enough for everyone to hear me. I may have been the person Officer Kelly singled out, but I knew each and every carnie had been a victim of that sort of harassment at some point. "It was all just a misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding, my ass," Jack Newton said. I turned quickly, not noticing him standing behind Edward until he spoke.

I loved Jack, but he was almost like a caricature instead of a person. He had light blond hair like his son, but he teased it into a ridiculous pompadour. He also wore a handlebar mustache, which he twisted and pulled constantly. His wardrobe was the worst, though. Plaid golf pants, huge bowties, bright flower-printed shirts – he definitely stood out from the crowd.

"I want every single one of you to be on your best behavior this weekend," he yelled, addressing the crowd. "I have extra bond cards in my trailer along with copies of the emergency phone list. If you need either of these, come see me or Madge immediately." He paused to twirl his mustache. Edward snorted quietly next to me, and I had to wiggle my lips to keep from grinning at the oddity that was Jack Newton.

"I know this show was a surprise for us, in a town we've never worked in before," Jack said. "I appreciate everyone for coming on such short notice, but now we need to get down to business." He stepped between Phil and me, placing a hand on each of our shoulders. "Bella's going to need some help repairing her trailer. Phil may need help running his booth, depending on how Renee fares at the hospital. And Alice needs every ounce of love and support we can offer her, what with Esme not being here and all. We talk about Eclipse feeling like family… I'd say it's time to prove it. Let's get to work putting things back together around here so we can concentrate on making money."

He turned to me as the crowd clapped and began to disperse. "Bella, I'm really sorry about what happened to your trailer. I'll make sure everything is taken care of."

"And what are you going to do about Mikey?" Phil asked. I looked between the two men. I had no idea what Mike had to do with this, but I wanted to find out.

I noticed Edward stiffen beside me at the mention of Mike. I moved over until I was close enough to wrap my fingers through one of his belt loops. I tugged lightly to get his attention. He relaxed immediately and placed a hand against my lower back, his fingers sliding underneath my shirt to rest lightly on my skin.

"Mikey will be dealt with by Madge and me," Jack said firmly. Edward's fingers began tracing patterns along the waistband of my shorts. I slid my hand over and dropped it down, releasing the belt loop and grabbing onto the top of his back pocket instead.

"I don't agree with that decision," Phil said.

"I understand your concerns, but I'm taking full responsibility for Mike's actions. I will make any reparations necessary, and I will be the one doling out his punishment." Jack stood tall, looking Phil in the eye. We all knew Jack owned the carnival. In the end, any decision regarding carnival business was his and his alone.

Unless Phil wanted to leave Eclipse altogether, there was no sense in arguing with the man.

"Fine." Phil reached out and shook Jack's hand, still not looking happy. "But I want to make sure that boy is punished for his carelessness. He could have easily killed my family today." Jack looked at me, his face softening as he smiled a bit.

"I love Renee and Bella like they're my own, Phil," he said. "Mike will know exactly how wrong his actions were."

The two men nodded to each other before Jack turned and walked away.

"Mikey was the one driving Emmett's Jeep?" I asked with a forced calm. Edward's fingers stilled against my skin. Inside I was seething with anger, but I needed to be sure I understood the situation.

Phil looked down at me, bringing his hand to the side of my face to brush the hair out of my eyes. "Yeah, kid. He and some ride jockey from the other carnival company were fooling around in the Jeep. Mikey lost control on a turn and slid into your trailer." I nodded at him. There was really nothing to say.

At least not until the next time I ran into Mikey… preferably alone.

"C'mon you two," Phil said. He smirked a little as he glanced between me and Edward, still leaning into each other, refusing to stop touching. "I need to go and check on my wife." He walked away from us, heading in the direction of my truck.

"Bella," Edward said, drawing my attention back to him. "Are you sure that guy didn't hurt you?" I nodded at him, unable to speak as I realized exactly how much I could have lost today.

My mother, my best friend, my fíorghrá… all could have been ripped away from me due to Mike's carelessness.

Edward looked at my cheek with a worried expression on his face. "Did _I_ hurt you?"

I was confused as he lifted a hand to trace a finger gently across the side of my face.

"Hurt me?"

"Your cheek - it looks a little…red." He threaded his fingers into my hair, wrapping them around the back of my head and pulling me closer. He kissed my cheek gently, with reverence, as I sighed against him. "Is that because of how I pushed you?"

"I don't know, but I'm fine," I said. "It doesn't hurt." I wrapped my arms around his waist, snuggling into his chest. His touch calmed me, made me feel safe and warm.

I didn't ever want to leave the circle of his arms.

"What about you? Were you hurt?" I rubbed my face against his shirt, breathing deeply and saturating myself with his caramel fragrance.

"I'm fine - just worried about Renee and Alice... and you." We shifted to look into each other's eyes, the electricity between us flaring. Edward broke the stare first, moving his eyes to my mouth. He leaned in and placed a sweet kiss against my lips.

So much emotion flowed through me – words I wanted to say, feelings I wanted to explain, gratitude I wanted to express. Unfortunately, this wasn't the time to have that conversation. Our family was damaged, and we needed to put their health above anything else.

"Come on, I'll drive us to the hospital," he said softly. He laced his fingers with mine, leading me through the crowd of carnies still assembled around the black Jeep. We found Phil easily, and he followed us to the Mustang.

"Who was with Mikey in the Jeep?" I asked as I slid into the backseat. Phil leaned over me, his hand on the roof of the car.

"Some guy from the other carnival. I think they said his name is Lawrence or something like that."

**xXxXx**

Harsh. Pungent. Like the acrid smell of white vinegar dousing my senses. The waiting room at the hospital was too brutal, too full of a pain and fear. As much as I wanted to be there, needed to be there, I knew had to escape.

I rushed outside to the ambulance bay, breathing deeply to clear my senses of the foulness that had been clawing at me since I walked through the doors two hours ago.

_Two hours. _

Two hours of not knowing. Two hours of worrying about some of the most important people in my life. Two hours with no word, no news, no updates.

Those may have been the longest two hours of my life.

As soon as we arrived, Phil and Edward had been escorted into a separate waiting area. The nurses had said only one person per patient could wait beyond the heavy doors, so I allowed Phil to go in my place. I knew he would suffer if he were forced to be away from Renee for too long.

Edward hadn't wanted to leave me, but without Esme here, he was Alice's only family. She needed him much more at the moment than I did. The look on his face when he glanced back at me as he walked away was heartbreaking, and I had to fight the urge to follow him.

The shrill siren of an ambulance pulling into the bay startled me. I glanced at my phone to check the time, noting I had been standing outside for over fifteen minutes.

I waited for the paramedics to roll a stretcher through the doors before following them into the building. I needed to get back in there, to be sitting in the waiting room when Edward and Phil came back out. I knew they were going to need my comfort, just as I was going to need theirs.

"Well, hey there, gypsy," a voice said from a doorway to my right. I turned, already knowing who would be standing there by the odor of starch filling the small space.

I was really beginning to hate the smell of starch.

"Officer Kelly." I nodded politely and moved to walk past him, but he stepped in front of me, blocking my path.

"Please let me by," I said. I tried to skirt around him, but he blocked me again, leering.

"Now don't be that way, sugar." He reached forward and wrapped a lock of purple hair around his fingers. He pulled on it, steadily increasing the pressure until I was forced to move my head to avoid the pain.

"My name isn't sugar, and I would appreciate it if you would let go of my hair," I said angrily. I knew I was pushing things, but I was not in the mood for this guy's games. He may have been an officer of the law, but he was still a man... a man who was about to be kneed in the groin.

"Don't play hard to get with me, you little bitch," he spat. He yanked on my hair, pulling my head to his. His breath reeked of stale coffee and cigarettes, and I gagged slightly at the combination. "I know you'll be out there selling more than lemonade this weekend. I just want the first round." He brought his other hand to my neck, grasping under my jaw and turning my face toward him. "If you know what's-"

"Let her go, Aaron." The officer froze as a strong voice called from behind me.

"Hey there, teach," Officer Kelly said. His voice no longer sounded strong and confident; he was nervous. Whoever was behind me had just turned the tables on the officer, and the game was now in my favor. "I was just messing around with the little gypsy here." Officer Kelly finally released my hair, pushing my head away from his. I straightened up, moving as far away from him as I could without running into the other person. I still hadn't looked to see the stranger. I wasn't dumb enough to turn my back on Officer Kelly.

"I know exactly what you were doing. I think it's in everyone's best interest if you just walk away from this young lady," the voice said over my shoulder. Officer Kelly definitely looked nervous now. "I would hate to have to call my cousin to tell him you've been harassing women again."

The officer's face turned red. He glanced quickly between the stranger and me before he spun on his heel and walked down the hall without uttering a single word.

"Thank you," I said as I turned to face the man behind me. His handsomeness took me by surprise. He was tall, almost as tall as Edward was, with dark blond hair. He appeared to be toned, the muscles in his arms defined but not bulging at all. His beautiful, deep blue eyes were flanked by shallow wrinkles, the only indication of his age. They deepened as he smiled brightly.

"You shouldn't have to thank me," he said. "He's been a menace since the day he joined the force. I don't know why my cousin puts up with him." He shook his head, scowling. "I should apologize for his inappropriateness. I tried to teach him better manners when he was in high school. Unfortunately, he never was the brightest crayon in the box." I snorted a laugh.

"I'm Bella Swan," I said. I offered my hand to him, and he shook it soundly. "I work for the carnival that's in town."

"It's nice to meet you, Bella," he replied. "I'm Carlisle Cullen."

I tilted my head to the side a bit. "Carlisle? I thought Officer Kelly called you Teach." He chuckled softly.

"It's the nickname the kids call me at school. I never liked being called Mr. Cullen – it made me feel old, like my father." He shivered dramatically, and I giggled. "When I started teaching at the high school, I told the students they could call me Teach. It stuck. Even people that didn't go to school here seem to call me Teach." We began walking down the hall toward the waiting room. "So, Miss Swan, what brings you to the hospital today?"

"My mom and best friend were in a bit of an accident. I've been waiting to hear something for hours now."

We reached the waiting room and stopped just outside the doorway. A quick glance inside revealed a handful of people in there, but not the two I wanted to see the most.

"Well, I hope their injuries weren't too severe," he said.

"I don't think they were, but my friend was unconscious." I peeked back into the waiting room, willing Edward or Phil to come walking through the second set of doors near the nurse's station. I looked back and noticed Carlisle glancing at his watch.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to get upstairs. I'm visiting a colleague of mine."

"Of course," I said. "Thank you again for helping me out back there. I have a feeling you just saved me from being arrested for assaulting an officer of the law. If you decide to visit the carnival this weekend, come see me at the Water Race game." I grinned brightly at him. "I'll even let you play a round for free." He laughed as I moved to enter the waiting room door.

"I will definitely take you up on that, Miss Swan."

**xXxXx**

Forty-seven minutes later, I jumped to my feet as I heard one of the voices I had been waiting for. Edward came through the heavy doors separating this room from the ward behind it, meeting my stare immediately. He strode over, his long legs covering the ground between us easily.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said, wrapping his arms around me and lifting me up off my feet.

"Hey, you. How's Alice?" He set me back on the ground and leaned down to kiss my nose.

"She's going to be fine. She has a concussion and will have to stay overnight, but otherwise she's okay. They're moving her to a room upstairs. We can both go up to see her once they get her settled so I came to get you. Have you seen Phil yet?"

His hands rubbed up and down my back. I relished the sensation. After spending the last few hours scared and alone, there was no place I wanted to be more than right here, wrapped up in his arms.

"No. He wasn't with you?" I asked. I had assumed they were together in the back.

"Not for awhile. I was allowed to go with Alice when they took her downstairs to radiology. When I came back up, he was gone."

At that moment, Phil rushed into the waiting room, a harried look on his face.

"Oh good, you two are here," he said, approaching us quickly. "They're releasing Renee. She's got a cracked rib and some bumps and bruises, but otherwise she's going to be fine. We need to find a ride back to camp."

"Why don't you take my car, Phil?" Edward said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his keys. "They're keeping Alice overnight. We can grab a cab once we make sure she's settled into her room upstairs."

The look on Phil's face was comical – eyes bulging, mouth hanging open.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "You're going to let me drive your Shelby?" I looked up at Edward, not understanding Phil's amazement.

_I thought he drove a Mustang._

"Sure. Why not?" Edward asked, shrugging his shoulders. "Just watch your speed. I really don't want to have to deal with the cops in this town again."

"Yeah, of course." He took the keys from Edward delicately, as if they were something fragile, priceless. I was growing more and more confused by the conversation. Phil retreated quickly, stopping briefly at the nurse's station before disappearing through the doors.

"What was that all about?" I asked Edward. He was watching me intently, his eyes dark. I couldn't help but notice how tired he looked. The stress of this day had obviously worn him out.

"What was _what _all about?" he whispered, leaning in to kiss my forehead... my nose... my cheeks... my lips.

"That... um," I said. Edward's lips against mine were a distraction, albeit a very welcomed one. "That thing Phil said about your Shelby. I thought you drove a Mustang."

Edward's head jerked back. He stared down at me with a dumbfounded look on his face.

"It _is_ a Mustang," he said incredulously. "A 1967 Shelby Mustang."

"Oh, okay." I shrugged my shoulders, still not understanding what the big deal was. "Should we go upstairs now?"

Edward squeezed me, refusing to let me move away.

"You have no idea what that means, do you?" he asked. I frowned a bit, thinking he was making fun of me.

"No, Edward, I don't," I said. "I'm not a gear-head. I knew it was a Mustang, but the rest of this Shelby stuff is just gibberish to me." I pulled away, my temper rising. I shouldn't have been angry, but not knowing something that seemed important to him embarrassed me. I was already exhausted from the long drive and the accident, my obvious ignorance about cars just added to the pile of stress weighing me down.

"Its okay, Bella," he said. "I shouldn't have just assumed you would know. Cars, especially classic muscle cars, are kind of a passion of mine."

I sighed and leaned my head against his chest. I should have known better than to think he was making fun of me for not knowing something. I really needed to go home before my crankiness caused an argument.

"I'm sorry. It's been a really long day, and I'm tired. Can we just check on Alice, and then head back to camp?"

"Of course," he said, kissing my forehead again. He grasped my hand and led the way to the elevator. He released my hand and wrapped his arm around my waist as we waited for the car.

"I'm going to need to go outside for awhile before we call a cab," he said, toying with his phone.

"What for?" I asked, leaning into his shoulder.

"I don't have service in this building. I need my internet to find a local hotel."

"Why do you need a hotel?"

"Esme's not here yet," he replied. "I was going to check into a hotel until she gets here in the morning."

"No hotels," I said. My eyes felt heavy as the exhaustion from this day began wearing on me. "You can stay in my trailer with me."

Edward tensed next to me, and I realized belatedly I hadn't exactly been clear.

"There's a pull out bed in the living area. You can sleep there for the night. I'd really rather not be alone... you know?" I asked. His body relaxed and he squeezed me.

"Are you sure?" he asked quietly. I nodded against his shoulder. "Okay," he kissed my forehead again, "I'll stay with you."

The elevator car arrived with a ding, and we waited to walk on until the other passengers had exited. Edward pressed the button for the fourth floor. He wrapped his arms around me, pressing my back into his chest as the doors closed.

He leaned his head down, bringing his lips to brush tenderly behind my ear.

"And my car is a 1967 Shelby Mustang GT500 fastback, Bella. She's known as 'Eleanor' because of that _Gone in 60 Seconds_ movie," he murmured. His voice was teasing, playful. I pressed myself against him, wanting to feel his body along every inch of mine.

I focused on the sensation of us touching – no smells of honey or caramel, no energy flowing, no sounds of machinery or other people. For one moment, the only thing I wanted to be aware of was us, the physical us, together.

"She?" I asked, smiling. I glanced back over my shoulder, looking into his eyes.

"She," he said firmly. He held my gaze, his eyes smoldering as they burned into mine. He squeezed me tighter, pressing me harder against his chest, his thighs, his hips.

"She was my _first_ love."

The look in his eyes said so much more than his words ever could.

**xXxXx**

After spending a grand total of ten minutes with Alice before she fell asleep, Edward and I made our way back downstairs to call for a cab. When we were informed there were no cabs in this town, I began calling other carnies to try to find a ride back.

Just as I hung up from my third failed attempt, a familiar voice greeted me.

"Miss Bella Swan, we meet again," Carlisle said jovially. He waved to the nurse behind the desk and approached me.

"Hey, Carlisle. How's your colleague?" I asked.

"He's not going to make it...cancer," he said sadly. "But I've said my goodbyes and made sure he knows how much his friendship meant to me. There's not much more I can do." He smiled, looking over my shoulder, and held out a hand to Edward.

"Hello, I'm Carlisle Cullen." Edward grasped his hand and shook it, smiling cautiously.

"I'm sorry," I said, obviously forgetting my manners. "Carlisle, this is my Edward. Edward, this is Carlisle Cullen. He came to my rescue earlier today after a little confrontation with the officer from camp."

"Confrontation?" Edward asked, pulling his hand away from Carlisle and looking down at me. His eyes were hard, filled with anger. I reached up and ran my finger over the V forming between his eyebrows, willing him to relax.

"It was nothing really," I said. "Officer Kelly was trying to proposition me… forcefully. Carlisle was nice enough to step in and defuse the situation before I had to do anything that would have gotten me arrested." I shrugged as Carlisle laughed. Edward seemed calmer for the moment, so I brought my hand down from his forehead. He grabbed it quickly, bringing it up so he could place a small kiss on the tip of my finger.

"Proposition you?" he whispered. I ran my fingertip lightly over his lips, enjoying the softness.

I nodded once. "It happens a lot, a stór." Edward's eyes grew dark as he watched me.

"Tell me." His voice was quiet, intense. I shook my head slightly, not wanting to have this conversation here.

I traced my finger along the bow of his top lip; once, twice, three times. "Not here. Let's go home first."

I heard a muffled cough from my right and glanced over at Carlisle. He was watching the interaction between Edward and me with a sad expression on his face. Edward released my wrist, and I dropped my hand from his face, feeling flustered.

"Are you two heading out?" Carlisle asked after a second, breaking the slightly uncomfortable silence.

"We're trying to," I replied. "It seems like everyone I work with is unavailable to come pick us up."

"Well then, I'm glad I ran into you," Carlisle said. "I'll be happy to give you both a ride back."

"We wouldn't want you to go to any trouble," Edward said. I secretly hoped Carlisle could take us home; I was tired and hungry, and I really wanted to crawl into my bed.

"No trouble at all," Carlisle replied. "Come on, it may be a tight fit, but at least it's transportation." I smiled up at Edward and nodded subtly, letting him know we should go with the teacher. He grasped my hand in his and walked with me through the doors leading outside.

We followed Carlisle through the darkened parking lot to the far corner. The yellow glow from the overhead lights was dim and threw deep shadows around the parked cars. I had the uncomfortable sensation of feeling someone's eyes on me, even though neither Edward nor Carlisle was looking my way. I shook off the unease, attributing the eerie sensation to the late hour and my overtired mind.

When Carlisle unlocked the passenger door of an older red car, Edward froze, pulling me to a halt next to him.

"No fucking way," Edward said, sounding shocked. I looked between the two men. Carlisle was smiling bemusedly, and Edward's jaw practically dragged on the ground.

"What?" I asked. It was late… I was tired… and I didn't want to have to try to find another way home if there was something wrong with Carlisle's car.

"Bella… sweetheart… this car," Edward said. He rubbed his hand over his face, grinning ridiculously at the red hunk of metal. "This car is an American classic. 1967 Chevy Camaro convertible, first generation." He let go of my hand, stepping up to the car and running a hand slowly along the curve of the hood. "She's just... beautiful."

"Thanks," Carlisle said. He looked down at the car fondly as he rubbed a hand across the dark top. "She was my first car. All of my best memories were made in this car. I've never been able to get rid of her." I noticed that same sad look from inside come across his face, and I wondered what kind of pain his heart had suffered.

That look was definitely not just because of a car.

We climbed into the convertible, me in the back and Edward in the front passenger seat. The roar of the engine surprised me as Carlisle started the engine. He and Edward began talking car stuff in the front – horsepower this, torque that, production number this, liters that. I tried to follow along but really, it was all Greek to me.

After a rather loud and slightly uncomfortable ride to the camp, Carlisle pulled up to the front of my truck.

"Thanks for the ride," Edward said, opening the door. He leaned in to grab my hand, assisting me out of the cramped backseat.

"Yeah, Carlisle, thank you so much for the ride," I said, noticing for the first time the necklace hanging from the rearview mirror. It was thin, delicate, with a script 'E' hanging at the end. It swung back and forth, glinting in the glare of the lights above the parking lot.

"You're welcome, Bella, Edward," Carlisle replied with a smile. "I'm sure I'll see you at the carnival over the weekend."

"Of course," I said, still eyeing the necklace curiously. Carlisle noticed my stare and followed my gaze, his smile dropping as I glanced back at him.

"Hold onto him, Bella," he said softly. "If you care about _your Edward_ as much as I think you do, hold onto him with everything you have. Don't ever let him slip away from you."

The look of sadness on his face broke my heart, and I leaned further into the car to give him a one-armed hug.

"I'm never letting go," I whispered. I shifted back and smiled at him, noticing his scent for the first time. It was subtle but delicious and homey – like the smell of mirepoix cooking in butter.

It reminded me of Esme's fresh-baked bread smell immediately.

"Whoever she is, I hope you can find her again," I said. He gave me a watery smile, the cold reminder of loss and loneliness surrounding us in the cramped space. I ached to get back to Edward's warmth.

"I've never stopped looking," he said simply.

I exited the car, bumping into Edward as I moved to close the door. As soon as the latch clicked, the car began moving, taillights growing dimmer as Carlisle drove away.

"Everything all right?" Edward asked, holding both of my hands in his. I looked back at him, realizing I had been staring after the broken man driving off in his memories.

The heartache I knew Carlisle was suffering from haunted my thoughts for a moment, as I remembered how close I had come to losing the man in front of me. I realized in that moment exactly how lucky I was to have found him, to have him standing in front of me, looking at me as if I was the greatest gift he had ever received.

I squeezed his hands with mine and gave him a grateful smile.

"Everything's perfect. Come on, let's get inside."

.

.

.

* * *

I've started a separate story to house any Giofógach outtakes. I posted the first chapter, which is a little glimpse into Esme's head during chapter nine. The verbose Choclover82 (aka Chocolate Lover 82) requested it when I offered her a present for writing my 300th review. If you haven't read it yet, you can check it out fanfictionDOTnet/s/6426877/1/


	11. Grape Nehi

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

_._

"I'm going to kill Mike Newton."

Edward rubbed his hands up and down my arms as he stood behind me. The calm feeling his touch usually evoked in me didn't come. There was no wave of peace, no relaxation of my tense muscles. There was only more agitation.

I was far too tired, too overwrought, to deal with what was in front of me.

We stood just inside the door of my trailer, looking over the mess Mike's joyride had left behind. Every time I saw the broken captain's chair or caught the sight of my cabinet hanging loosely from the ceiling – every single time my eyes landed on a receipt, a contract, or some other business record scattered all over the floor – my heart hardened that much more toward the person who caused this.

He hadn't just hurt Alice and Renee, hadn't only scared me half to death and brought a ridiculous amount of unwanted attention to our carnie group. He had invaded the one part of my life with Eclipse that was truly mine. This trailer, this little home on wheels, was my safe place, my refuge. It was where I came to decompress, to get away… to rest.

All the stress and anxiety from the past few hours was able to crawl inside through the damaged walls, creeping into the space I loved. It invaded my home, my shelter, and left me feeling unprotected and on edge.

"No, really, I'm going to kill Mike Newton," I said again.

"Not if I get to him first," Edward said quietly. I spun around and wrapped my arms around his waist, sighing as I buried my face in his chest. I slowly slid my hands under his t-shirt, running them up his back until they rested on his shoulder blades. I pulled him close, reveling in his warmth and smiling when he shivered from my touch. I spread my fingers wide, wishing I could cover every inch of his body with mine. His hands moved around my hips, his arms crossing behind me as he drew me into him.

The increased contact was exactly what I needed. I pushed everything away, every errant thought and worry running through my head. I shoved it all to the back and concentrated on the feel of Edward, the way his heart beat in time with mine, the warmth of his skin, the sound of his voice blanketing me.

He was my serenity.

"You can't kill him," I said, leaning my forehead on his chest. "You'd go to jail forever, and I'd have to move to Alabama to be near whatever prison they put you in. I'd be the lonely old lady on the block, hiding away in her little shack, just counting down the days until your next scheduled visitation." He chuckled lightly, and I felt him rest his cheek on the top of my head.

"But if you killed him, you'd be the one in jail, and _I'd_ be the one forced to live in Alabama. I'm going to assume a maximum-security prison isn't in the middle of a bustling metropolis. I'm a city boy, Bella. I don't think I'd mesh with the locals of some small farm town."

I smiled for the first time since we walked away from Carlisle's Camaro. "Maybe not, but I'm a girl. I'd probably get out sooner than you would, and then I could move to your small farm town by the prison." He sighed as he began rocking side to side, bringing my body along with his. The motion was soothing, and I finally felt the tense coil wrapped around my muscles loosen.

"Sweetheart, I'd follow you anywhere, but we will _never_ live in Alabama," he said firmly.

"What do you have against Alabama? It's not as perfect as my little plot of land in Tennessee, but I happen to think it's a lovely state." I leaned back, grinning at the exaggerated scowl on his face.

"This is my first time here, and in less than six hours we've almost been killed by a Jeep that crashed into your trailer, my cousin and your mom have been injured by that same Jeep, landing them both in the hospital and you've been accosted by the police. Twice. I think it's fair to say I'm not enjoying my stay here." His eyebrows rose, challenging me to argue.

I started giggling as his scowl changed to a heart-stopping grin. The flowery perfume of happiness fluttered around us. It added to my sudden glee. Within seconds, I was pulling away from Edward, laughing loudly as I realized how ridiculous we sounded.

When my laughing fit was over, and I was left with a wide smile on my face, I began picking my way around the items strewn across the floor. I moved toward the refrigerator knowing exactly what we needed right now.

"Would you like a grape Nehi?" I asked. I opened the door and pulled out a soda, holding it out to him.

"What's a Nehi?"

I gaped at him, my mouth hanging open. "You've _never_ had a grape Nehi soda?"

Edward smiled a little and shook his head. "I'm from Chicago, remember? If I wanted a grape soda, I bought a Fanta or maybe a Crush."

"Fanta, schmanta. Get over here and try the wonder that is grape Nehi." I held out the glass bottle filled with dark purple liquid, grinning as he worked his way through the mess to stand in front of me. I pulled a bottle opener out of a drawer and removed the cap before handing him the drink. I turned and pulled out a soda for myself, repeating the process before taking a swig and turning around.

"Not bad," Edward said, looking at the bottle. I huffed and rolled my eyes at his understatement.

"Not bad?" I asked, scowling playfully. "Nehi is absolutely the best grape soda made. Hands down. I couldn't live without it."

"Really? Couldn't live without it?" Edward asked teasingly. He walked closer, forcing me backwards until my shoulders rested against wall to the left of the refrigerator. He leaned over me, placing one hand against the wall behind me, just above my shoulder. "Does that mean you wouldn't travel somewhere if you couldn't get grape Nehi?"

His eyes were alight with green fire as he stared into mine. I gasped quietly at the depth of emotion blazing through them, and he smirked when he heard it. I could smell the sweetness of the soda on his breath, and I found myself moving toward him. He slowly inched closer, stopping my forward motion, pushing me back until his upper body was flush with mine.

Until I was sandwiched between him and the wall behind me.

"Well… I mean… uh," I stammered. "Maybe, if I, um, could pack some to take with me, I would go." I sighed, and my eyes fluttered as Edward brought his face down to mine, running his nose lightly over my cheek. The contact caused sparks of energy to burst around me, landing with tiny tickles against my skin.

I wanted his lips on mine, needed them as if they were air or water. My breath felt ragged as I watched them coming ever closer to mine. They called to me, sang to me, demanding contact. I licked my own in response, running my tongue slowly from one side to the other.

I could practically taste him.

He placed a quick kiss on the tip of my nose before meeting my eyes once more. "So if I asked you to come to Chicago with me, to show you what _my_ world is like, you would go?" he murmured. "Even though I wouldn't know where to get you a grape Nehi?" He pressed himself further into me, keeping his face close to mine.

I nodded, unable to find my voice.

I could feel every inch of his body against me - the chest I longed to explore with my fingers and mouth, the hips I wanted to feel moving with mine, the long legs I wanted run my hands along. My hips rolled slowly, moving against him completely of their own accord. I had no control over them at this moment. His breath caught as I felt my hipbone rub across his erection, and I watched his eyes darken, his pupils dilating slightly.

My little kitchenette had never felt hotter.

"Is that a yes?" His lips barely whispered across mine. I took a deep breath, savoring his sweetness as it rolled over my tongue and into my lungs.

"Yes," I said, the sound light and airy as it released on a puff of air. I would have agreed with anything he asked at this point, given him anything he wanted.

I was utterly spellbound by him.

"Good to know," he whispered. His lips met mine for the briefest of kisses before he stepped away, staring at me over the top of his bottle of purple soda with an evil smirk on his face.

I closed my eyes for a second, making an effort to smother the fire burning inside me. "Tease," I reprimanded with a breathy gasp. He laughed softly, the sound moving farther away.

My blood rushed through my veins - pounding, racing, pulsing. My skin tingled where it had met Edward's, like aftershocks of his touch. His words rattled around in my head, dancing and playing in the darkness behind my closed eyes.

When I opened them again, he was across the living area, pushing the captain's chair upright before he reached up and closed the cabinet doors above him. As much as I wanted to scold him for teasing me like he had, there was something about what he had just asked me that seemed much more important.

"You want me to go to Chicago with you?" My voice was quiet, cautious.

"Of course." He looked at me over his shoulder, smiling softly. "I get to see your life while we travel around this summer. Why wouldn't I want you to see mine?"

He wanted me to go home with him, to the very place where his carnie mother had ground his heart into ash. The same place she used her gift to cheat and steal and lie. The same place where, he believed, she killed his father.

He was inviting my carnie self to see his very non-carnie life.

I sniffed quietly, the ease with which he discussed something that seemed so monumental causing me to tear up. I took a deep breath as my emotions rolled through me.

"I don't know," I said. "I just didn't think you'd want me there. I didn't think…" I didn't know what to say. No, it wasn't that I didn't know what to say because I did. I wanted to tell him how much his invitation meant to me. I wanted to tell him I would go with him to Chicago whenever he wanted. I wanted to tell him he had just made me happier than I had ever been.

I wanted to tell him so many things, yet I stood silent, fighting back tears of happiness.

Simple words would never be enough.

By the time I was ready to tell him all I felt inside, the moment seemed to have passed. He was pushing the chair back once more, apparently unhappy with how it continued to tilt forward slightly. I kneeled quickly, moving forward to begin picking up the papers scattered on the floor. I kept my gaze on the ground so he couldn't see my goofy grin and watery eyes.

"Hey," Edward said, surprising me. He stood in front of me, less than a foot away. I sat back on my heels and stared at his thighs, too embarrassed to look up. He kneeled down, our knees touching as we mirrored each other's positions. Placing two fingers under my chin, he pulled my face up gently. Our eyes locked, and I felt my heart melt as he smiled softly.

"No doubts, remember?"

I couldn't speak, could hardly breathe, the weight of the emotion in his eyes holding me captive. I nodded quickly to express my belief in him…in us.

He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to my lips, still holding my chin. It was soft, sweet, and nowhere near enough. I opened my mouth against his, wanting more, _needing_ more. He mirrored my movement, yet there was a split second of hesitation - lips open, breath mingling. The world seemed to spin slower as we hung suspended, existing solely in the realm of _almost_.

When his tongue finally – _finally_ - crossed the indistinguishable boundary between us, I shivered, my entire body reacting to the sensations I was drowning in. The heat of his face against mine, the sounds of our quickened breathing, the taste of him in my mouth – it all crashed over me as his tongue caressed mine lightly, delicately.

All too soon, we retreated to our own sides once more. He placed a single, chaste kiss against my lips, pausing for just a moment before he pulled back. I refused to move, still clinging to the lingering feeling of his mouth on mine. He brought his hands up to rest on either side of my face and rested his forehead against my own.

"You're stuck with me now, chéadsearc," he said quietly, smiling at me.

I sighed and wrapped my hands around his wrists.

"Yeah, I guess I am."

**xXxXx**

Forty-five minutes later, I stood in the doorway to my bedroom wearing a knee-length robe over my ridiculously childish rubber ducky shorts and yellow tank top. I normally wouldn't worry about what other people thought of my choice of sleepwear; of course, I normally wouldn't have an attractive man sleeping fifteen feet away from me.

I looked over the relatively clean trailer. The chair was basically back in place, the cabinets above taped close until they could be rehung. I had collected all the papers from the floor and stacked them carefully on the kitchen counter, too tired to deal with sorting them all out now.

I had pulled out the sofa bed for Edward to sleep on and collected sheets, blankets and pillows to make him comfortable. The overhead lights were off, the room lit only by a small nightlight in the bathroom.

Edward was lying on his back, his hands behind his head, his eyes closed. His white t-shirt was pulled taut across his chest and arms, and his long black basketball shorts ended just above his knees. I could see a light dusting of hair on his calves. My fingers itched with a desire to caress those calves, to run gently from his ankle to his knee, sliding along every curve.

I never knew I was such a big fan of a man's calves.

"I thought you didn't wear shorts?" I asked as I retreated to the side of my bed. I crawled under my quilt, sitting up against my headboard so I could still see Edward across the small space. I slipped out of my robe and tossed it on the chest to my right.

Edward turned toward me, and I saw what I thought was a smile, though it was hard to tell in the dim light.

"I don't normally. But I like to sleep in these when it's warm. They're long enough to cover my scars." He paused, then said quietly, "I can change if it makes you uncomfortable."

I shook my head slowly. "No, it doesn't make me uncomfortable. At all."

We were quiet for several minutes, allowing the resonant song of the cicadas to fill the darkness between us. Even from where I sat, I could tell he was still watching me. I could feel his eyes on my body, running along my skin.

Sleeping in separate beds may have been the worst idea I had ever had.

"Goodnight, beautiful," he said, his words traveling across the small space quietly. I sighed, scooting further down my bed to make room and then lay back, resting my head on my pillow.

"Goodnight, a stór."

**xXxXx**

I bolted up in bed, the lingering scent of death and decay barely tickling the air around me. My heart was pounding from the fear that had overtaken me in my dream – the same dream I had in Tennessee just two nights ago. I didn't feel the same panic this time, the same fear for Edward's safety, but I still found myself wanting to check on him.

To see for myself that he was safe.

I crawled out of bed and threw my green 'Ireland' hoodie over my pajamas, not able to find my robe as quickly as I wanted to. I followed the path lit by the nightlight in the bathroom, walking quietly across the carpeted floor.

Edward had opened all the windows in the trailer to cool the space. The sounds of a harsh summer wind rushing through the screens covered any noise I may have made as I sat stiffly on the very edge of his bed. I knew I shouldn't be here; he deserved his privacy, but I needed to see him to set my mind at ease.

He was on his left side, curled into a shallow c-shape, facing me. He looked so peaceful, so serene. I stilled and took a few deep breaths. Sweet rain surrounded me, calming my fears. I relaxed immediately, shifting a little, moving closer to Edward's sleeping form.

Memories of the day before flashed through my mind like photographs. My legs wrapped around him on my deck, snuggling against him in my truck, his candlelit smile at dinner, his fearful gaze as he watched Alice be put on a stretcher, the relief when he strode across the waiting room to tell me she was okay, the passion in his eyes as we ground together against the wall.

The day had been a rollercoaster, tossing my emotions from one end of the spectrum to the other. No wonder I had relived that nightmare.

Edward grunted softly in his sleep and shifted one leg forward, almost brushing against my knee. I wanted to move closer to him, to feel his breath on my face, to hear his pulse pounding as I laid my head on his chest. I just… wanted.

When his arm stretched out and his fingers brushed against my hand, I knew I couldn't resist.

I leaned forward, barely touching my lips to his cheek. I tilted my face and rested my cheek against his, enjoying the comfort his touch gave me. His skin was warm against mine, and I could feel the bristle of his stubble. There was something almost sexual about the feeling of the coarse hair against my skin, something masculine and potent in the roughness.

Edward's scruff was ridiculously sexy.

I sat up slowly, afraid any sudden movement would wake him. I knew I needed to go back to my bed before he woke up and found me next to him, watching him sleep, touching him without his permission.

Wearing rubber ducky shorts and an 'Ireland' hoodie.

I stood and stretched, yawning deeply as I began to walk back to my bedroom. My heart dropped as I moved, silently pleading with me to turn around, to go back so it could join its other half.

"Hey," Edward said sleepily from behind me. I stopped and turned quickly. He had propped himself up on his bent arm, elbow on the mattress, palm supporting his head. His hair was a riot of dark waves. There were pieces falling all over his forehead, and I watched, mesmerized, as he ran his other hand through the mess. As soon as his hand left his head, the locks fell forward once again, darkening his brow.

I smiled at his adorableness and moved to kneel at the edge of the bed. I slowly reached up and brushed his hair away from his face as his eyes met mine. He captured my hand and brought it down to his lips, leaving a balmy kiss on my palm.

"Is everything okay?" he asked. His voice was low, thick with sleep. It sent tingles up my spine as it breached the relative silence of the trailer.

His thumb rubbed circles onto my palm, over the spot he had just kissed. It was a simple caress, a light brushing of his skin against mine, yet somehow it made my body smolder. There was something so intimate about this situation – the late hour, the gloom of night, the gentle touching. This tender moment was more special, more meaningful, than anything I had experienced before.

"I had a nightmare," I whispered. I placed my elbow on the mattress and used my hand to prop up my head, my eyes never straying from his. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay; I can't really say I mind waking up to the sight of you standing over me." His voice was quiet, as if he didn't want to completely overpower the quiet of the night around us.

We stayed there, barely touching, as we gazed at each other in the dim light. No words were necessary, no additional contact needed. It was enough that we were together, in this place at this hour.

When I noticed his eyelids begin to flutter, I said, "You're tired. I'll let you get back to sleep."

I stood to go back to my room, but Edward gripped my hand, watching me intently. I took a small step backward, my eyes still on him. He didn't release my hand, and I wasn't going to pull it away from his touch when all I really wanted to do was stay.

"Stay."

I froze, unsure if the voice I heard was from him or from my own imagination.

"Please… stay with me," he whispered. My heart stopped, and then stuttered into a racing pace. He wanted me to stay with him, in his bed.

I had never fallen asleep with a man before.

I knew sleeping with Edward tonight would be about intimacy and affection, not about sex. I knew he would wrap me in his arms and make me feel protected from the nightmare that haunted my sleep. I knew it was what my heart wanted, what it needed to truly feel peace.

I knew there was no way I was walking back to that bedroom alone.

I nodded quickly, pulling my hand from his to remove my hoodie. I tossed it on the dinette bench without breaking our stare. Instead of feeling childish and ridiculous in my cartoon shorts, I felt alluring and desirable.

I felt sensual.

"C'mere, chéadsearc," he said, his voice rough. He lifted the sheet, and I slid underneath, our legs tangling together comfortably, like neighboring pieces of a puzzle. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against him tightly as he kissed my forehead.

I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck, inhaling his sweet smell and smiling. The feeling of belonging that enveloped me was powerful. The heat from his body against mine, the scent of him around me, the sound of his quiet hum once we were completely wrapped up in each other. It was calming. It was comfortable. It was right.

It was perfection.

"Goodnight, a stór," I whispered.

As my eyelids grew heavy and the blackness of sleep swirled around the edge of my consciousness, I heard him whisper the most beautiful words ever spoken.

"Goodnight, a fíorghrá."

**xXxXx**

Friday morning arrived with a gentle pattering of rain against the roof of the trailer. The sun had obviously risen, but the light coming through the windows was dull and gray.

Edward was still asleep beside me. From the way we were still curled around one another, it looked as if we hadn't moved at all through the night. I smiled at the thought and snuggled deeper into his embrace. I wanted to stay right here, curled up with him on this little bed, instead of dealing with the world outside.

Actually, I would need to deal with the world _inside_ first.

I looked up, eyeing the cabinet that should have been flush against the ceiling. It was pushed away from the wall and hanging a bit. I could see the blue of a tarp through the torn metal of the corner where the Jeep had struck the trailer. I knew if I rolled over, I would see the paperwork and boxes that had been scattered on the floor piled on the kitchen counter, waiting for me to reorganize them.

I sighed as I prepared myself mentally for all that needed to be done – not just to put the trailer back together, but also to prepare for the weekend. Today was setup day, and I was going to have to help Phil get both booths ready since Renee wouldn't be able to help. I also needed to go through the prize stock I had picked up on my way through Chattanooga the day before and sort it all into manageable containers.

There would be no lounging in bed all day with Edward.

I turned my head far enough to be able to see the clock on the microwave. It was only half past six. Maybe I couldn't stay here the full day, but I could at least take advantage of being in bed with Edward for a few more minutes. I rested my head on his shoulder, sighing at the comfort he brought me.

His arms tightened around me, and his leg moved higher between mine. "Not yet. I just want five more minutes of you…like this," he murmured. I smiled and wiggled my head up so I could kiss his scruffy chin.

"Five more minutes," I said. "Then we have to get up and start the day." He grunted his approval as we snuggled deeper under the sheet.

**xXxXx**

When I woke for the second time, my face was buried in a pillow that smelled of caramel. I smiled and pulled it closer to me, squeezing my arms around the downy softness. The tinkling sound of the rain on the roof was still present, but the light coming in seemed brighter, as if the sun was peeking through the clouds overhead.

I rolled onto my back, groaning and stretching.

"Finally waking up, sleepyhead?"

I smiled when I heard the unexpected voice through my still foggy mind.

"Morning, Mom. How're you feeling?" I asked, rolling over to face her. She was sitting at the dinette, facing me.

"Stiff. Sore. I think I may have broken my boob, if that's possible," she grabbed her left breast and squeezed it while frowning, "but other than that, I'm okay." She grinned at me, and I giggled in response.

My smile slipped as I realized I was in bed alone with my mother three feet away from me. I sat up quickly, glancing around the trailer for any sign of Edward.

"He went with Phil to pick up some supplies. There's a group coming over soon to fix your trailer." She smiled at me and cocked her head, giving me that all-knowing mom look. "Why don't you jump in the shower? I'm just going to finish organizing these records for you while we wait for the boys to get back." She waved a hand over the table, and I noticed for the first time she had all of my business records stacked into tidy piles across the top.

"Thanks, Mom." I gave her a quick kiss before strolling into my bedroom.

"Oh, and Bella?" she said, just as I walked through the door. I glanced over my shoulder to see her grinning devilishly at me. "Next time you decide to crawl into bed with that boy, you might want to lock your door."

I snorted and faced the chest of drawers again, rolling my eyes. "Please, like I'm worried about you walking in on me."

"Oh, it wasn't me, baby girl," she said. I stopped and turned to look at her, dread washing over me as I realized who must have walked in on Edward and I curled around each other. "I'm sure Edward and Phil are having an absolutely lovely conversation right about now."

"Phil saw us…" I couldn't even say the words. Just the thought of my _dad_ seeing us in that position, no matter how innocent it had been, was enough to make my stomach roll.

"Saw you…what? Wrapped around each other like interlocking pretzels? Yeah, he did." She grinned wickedly at me. "Like I said, I'm sure he and Edward are having a quite the conversation." She laughed loudly at my obvious discomfort.

"Wonderful," I said, throwing open doors and grabbing clothes. "Phil's going to kill him."

"Don't panic, baby," she said dismissively. She began sorting through the papers in front of her again. "Phil likes Edward, thinks he's got a lot of character. They had a nice, long talk while you were in Tennessee."

"What about?" I asked. I remembered Edward telling me Phil had come to see him, but he never did get around to telling me what was said.

"You should ask Edward that question. Now hurry up - we're going to the hospital to visit Esme and Alice as soon as you're done in there."

"Esme's in town?" I asked as I walked into the bathroom.

"Yep. She called me when she made it to the hospital this morning. The poor thing sounded completely frazzled, so move your ass. We'll take them some breakfast and see if Esme needs help with anything."

I shut the door behind me and turned on the taps. I couldn't help but remember what she said. I would have sworn I locked the door before I went to bed, but I _was_ really tired last night.

As I rinsed the conditioner from my hair, I remembered the exact moment I locked the door the previous evening. Edward had been joking with me about not fitting in the shower stall because of his height, and I had engaged the lock just as I told him he could always kneel.

When I walked out of the bathroom fifteen minutes later, I felt confused and a little nervous. I wanted to ask more about the door being unlocked but was distracted by Renee. She was standing by the kitchen sink, peeking out the window in the door.

"What're you doing?" I asked her. She jumped back, bringing her hand to her chest.

"Don't sneak up on me!" she exclaimed.

"I wasn't sneaking," I said. "What's out there?"

"Come take a look for yourself."

I took the three steps over to the door and peered out. At first, all I saw was a couple of sawhorses with a large, white panel lying across them. Then Phil walked across my line of sight. He was shirtless in the drizzling rain. His jeans were soaked, the weight of the wet fabric pulling them below his hipbones.

"Uh, Mom…Phil's like a father to me. I don't really think I need to…"

I completely lost my train of thought as Edward came into view. Unfortunately, he was wearing a shirt, but he was wet. Very, very wet.

The cotton of his shirt clung to every ripple and divot of his chest. Small rivulets of water raced along the curves of his arms, gravity dragging them down until they fell in drops from his hands. His cargo pants hugged his legs, the wet fabric looking almost black as it seemed to adhere to his thighs, his knees, his calves.

_Good lord, again with the calves._

He stopped next to the white panel, his feet about shoulder-width apart, as I secretly watched, captivated by his every move. He slowly lifted his arm, his elbow bent and his palm facing him. The motion caused the edge of his t-shirt to ride up along his rain slickened stomach, revealing a wide swath of pale skin above the waistband of his pants. He raised his arm higher, bringing his hand to his forehead. His ab muscles flexed and rippled as he leaned back just a bit, pushing his hips forward slightly. His fingers wove into his darkened hair, combing through the wet locks to push them off his face.

He was just pulling his fingers from his hair when my nose hit the glass. I jumped away from the door, crashing into the edge of the sofa bed and falling backwards onto the mattress. In the split second of silence following my literal fall from grace, I honestly wished the floor would open up and swallow me.

And then I started giggling.

Renee, of course, laughed uproariously at my predicament. "C'mon," she said. "Let's get to the hospital before you drool all over that poor boy." She continued laughing as I rolled to the side of the bed. I grasped her offered right hand, and she pulled me to my feet.

I grinned at her, still giggling. "You know you can't blame me."

She gave me a saucy wink before she threw her right arm around my shoulder and led me outside.

"Okay, boys," she hollered as soon as we cleared the door. Phil, Edward, Jack Newton and the other carnies gathered around the corner of my trailer all looked toward us. "Ya'll work hard now. Bella and I are going to head on over to see Miss Esme and Alice."

I kept my eyes on Edward's face, not wanting to embarrass myself in front of all these people. He smiled at me as he listened to Renee and then quickly walked over to me.

"Hey," he said quietly. He reached down and grabbed my hand, bringing it up to his mouth to place a small kiss on my palm. "I'm sorry I had to go this morning. Phil came in and-"

"No apologies necessary," I interrupted, waving my other hand a little. I rose up onto the balls of my feet, stretching to place my lips against his ear. "But the next time we end up in bed together, I expect you to be next to me when I wake up."

Edward grinned down at me as he wrapped his hand around my hip and pulled me against him. "As you wish," he said. He placed a quick kiss against my lips, groaning quietly as I curled my fingers into his chest.

"Now go…tell my cousin I'll be by as soon as the repairs here are done," he said, taking a step back.

"As you wish," I replied, grinning.

**xXxXx**

We stopped at a bakery on the way to the hospital to pick up donuts and breakfast pastries for Esme. There really weren't many options for food in this town, but at least the baked goods were better than hospital cafeteria food. At least we hoped they were.

The rain had eased up on the drive over, and it was barely sprinkling as I drove into the small parking lot in front of the main entrance. My breath caught in my throat when I saw the police cruiser parked in the ambulance bay.

"What's wrong?" Renee asked, noticing my distress. I pulled my truck smoothly into a parking spot and shifted into park.

"I had a little trouble with the police yesterday," I said, motioning with my head toward the cruiser. She looked in the direction to which I'd gestured.

"How bad this time?" she asked. She pulled down the visor above her and began carefully applying a dark pink lip-gloss. The cab of my truck suddenly reeked of fake butter cream frosting.

"He wasn't too bad while he was interviewing me at camp." I turned off the ignition and opened my door. The overly sweet smell was making my stomach roll. "He got a little handsy when he caught me alone in the hallway here, though."

Renee dropped the lip-gloss into her purse, turning to look at me at the same time. I couldn't help but smile at her. She looked so young in that moment with her shiny pink lips. I could see why people usually thought she was my older sister and not my mom.

"A little handsy as in he grabbed your ass, or a little handsy as in if he wasn't a cop his balls would have been in his throat?" I snorted at her bluntness and stepped down out of the truck.

"The latter," I said. I shut the door, waiting until I heard the thud from the passenger side door closing before pressing the lock button on the key fob. I met up with her in front of the truck and started walking toward the entry.

"How bad, baby?" She asked when we were under the overhang, just outside the main entrance. I stopped and looked her in the eye, wishing, not for the first time, that this sort of event wasn't a part of either of our lives.

"He grabbed my throat and pulled my hair while pretty much calling me a prostitute and demanding the first round."

Renee's face flashed with shock for a split second before sadness took over. She took a couple of deep breaths, still watching me. After the final inhale, the anger I knew would bubble to the surface seemed to overtake her entire body. Her eyes went from watery to hard, the muscles along her jaw flexed and she pulled her shoulders back.

"I'll redline this town with Jack as soon as we get back to camp. And I'll talk to Emmett about bumping up security in your section of the Midway."

I nodded at her decisions before walking toward the doors once more. I couldn't say I was completely shocked by her decision, but the redlining did surprise me a bit.

Redlining a location wasn't exactly a rare occurrence in our carnival, but it wasn't something to take lightly either. By redlining New London, we were telling Eclipse not to schedule us for a show there again. Too many redlines from one booth owner could cause scheduling issues within the carnival, and Jack could choose to give away the spot altogether or relocate that booth due to the trouble.

Phil, Renee and I had only redlined two other towns, both in Texas. Both for almost the exact same reason we would be redlining New London.

I led the way to Alice's room on the fourth floor, still stuck inside my thoughts. I raised my hand to knock, but before my knuckles could make contact, the door swung inward.

"Bella," Esme said, giving me a quick hug. "I love you, now move." She pulled me into the room, grabbing Renee by the arm. "Hand over the donuts, Renee, and no one gets hurt."

Renee and I both laughed and I walked quickly across the room to the bed where Alice sat, a magazine open on her lap.

"She wanted to go downstairs for breakfast an hour ago, but then she saw Renee decide to pick up the donuts," she said, rolling her eyes. She closed the magazine and tossed it onto the rollaway tray on the other side of the bed. "Apparently she forgot to eat before she left the beach house. And we all know how she gets when she doesn't eat."

She scrunched her nose, and I giggled, understanding the crabbiness that would overtake Esme if she didn't eat on a regular basis. I could hear Renee and Esme speaking in hushed voices behind me, but I was completely focused on Alice.

"How're you feeling?" A hint of citrus wafted past me, barely discernible against the harsh antiseptic smell of the hospital. Until that moment, I hadn't realized how much I missed the scent.

"Better, though I still have a headache. The doctor says I should be able to leave before noon." She glanced behind me, then slid her eyes slowly back to mine. She blinked once, holding my gaze.

"Hey, Mom?" I said loudly. I turned to look over my shoulder at her and Esme. "Why don't you two go grab some coffee? You both look like you could use it. I'll stay with Alice."

Renee looked at Esme, who was staring at Alice. After a slight pause, Esme nodded and turned to address Renee. "Come on. Let's leave these two alone so they can gossip about my nephew." She grabbed another donut from the box, looped her arm through Renee's and escorted her out the door.

"Okay, I got rid of them," I said to Alice once the door had closed behind our mothers. "Spill. What's with the shifty eyes?"

"Bella, you have no idea," she said. She threw herself back against the pillows and huffed dramatically. "She's driving me crazy. 'I shouldn't be here, but you need me, but I shouldn't be here, but you need me.' She's been in Alabama for less than three hours, and I'm ready to pull out all my hair."

I chuckled and sat carefully on the edge of her bed, taking her hand. "How are you, really?"

"I've got a headache the size of Manhattan, but otherwise I'm okay. But who cares about me? Tell me about you and Edward." Her eyes widened in excitement as she shifted to give me more space on the bed.

I smiled at her, glad to see she was her normal self. She had been so out of it last night when Edward and I came to say goodnight. It was reassuring to see her awake and spunky once again.

I turned around so we were facing the same way, sitting next to her with my back against her pillows. "What do you want to know?"

She smacked my shoulder playfully. "Don't play coy with me. I want the details. How'd he apologize? Is he a good kisser? Where exactly did he sleep last night?"

I nudged her with my shoulder, laughing. "I'm surprised you don't already know, Miss Precog."

"I've never really been able to see much of Edward's future. The few pictures that do flow through tend to be really blurry, though I see a bit more now that you two are together."

"Really?" I asked. Her gift was fascinating to me, and I loved it when she gave me a little peek into what it was like for her. "I wonder why that is?"

"Mom says it's because we've never spent much time together," she said with a shrug. She laid her head down on my shoulder, pulling her long hair over to rest on her opposite side. "Tell me a story; tell me how my cousin swept you off your feet."

I giggled, so glad to have my best friend back with me. For the next twenty minutes, I told Alice about our time in Tennessee - the pleading, the talking, the apologies, the kissing.

She loved the stories of the kissing.

"He picked you up?"

"Yep."

"Like, physically picked you up, off the ground, and set you on the deck railing." The shocked look on her face made me grin, and I nodded enthusiastically at her.

"Lucky little bitch," she said, crossing her arms over her chest with a pout.

When I brought up how we had talked about his dislike of carnies, she scoffed.

"How is that even possible? He's traveling with his carnie aunt and cousin for the summer. His _mom_ was a carnie, for crying out loud. Are you sure you didn't misunderstand him?"

Before I could answer, the door opened and our mothers walked into the room. They were followed by a nurse in light green scrubs.

"So, what do you say, Miss Brandon?" the nurse asked. "Think you're ready to be released?"

Alice jumped upright, throwing the sheet off her legs. "Hell to the yes - get me out of here!"

I sent Edward and Phil a quick text to let them know we would be bringing Alice home while the nurse removed her IV. Once she was ready to go, Renee and I left the room to pull my truck and Esme's mobile home up to the front door. Esme stayed behind to sign Alice's release paperwork.

We had just stepped outside when a familiar voice called my name.

"Are you stalking me?" I asked with a smile.

"I was about to ask you the same thing," Carlisle said as he walked up to Renee and me from the parking lot. His mirepoix scent was even lighter today, almost invisible to me.

"Mom, this is Carlisle Cullen. Carlisle, this is my Mom - Renee Dwyer."

Carlisle offered his hand to Renee, and she shook it, the two of them exchanging pleasantries as she stared at him, a shocked smile on her face. I hip-checked her subtly, wishing she would stop gawking.

"What are you doing here? Trying to live out some 'I could have been a doctor' fantasy?" I asked, smiling.

Carlisle laughed, and I noticed Renee's eyes widen at the sound. "No, nothing that exciting. I'm just having lunch with a friend who works here. What about you? More accidents at the carnival?"

"No," I said, laughing. "My friend's being discharged. I'm providing transportation back to camp."

"That's good news," he exclaimed. He glanced at his watch and smiled at me. "I had better get moving or else I'll be late. It was nice to meet you, Renee. Bella, I'll see you at the Water Race game this weekend."

"I look forward to it," I replied as he walked into the hospital. We watched him walk through the doors and into the bright waiting area.

"How did you meet _him_?" Renee asked, grabbing my arm as we turned and began walking toward the truck.

"He helped me out last night with the handsy cop," I replied with a shrug. "Then he drove Edward and I back to camp after we got Alice settled."

"Hmmm, if only I were single," Renee said, giving me a wink. "I mean, he's no Phil, but he is one hell of a handsome man."

I laughed, looping my arm through hers as we walked. "Yeah, I kinda noticed that."

I was sitting in the truck ten minutes later when a man in light green scrubs wheeled Alice through the doors, followed closely by Esme. I hopped out and rushed around the side to open the door for them.

"Jump in, short stuff," I said, smiling at her.

"I will never understand why you drive this dickmobile," she said. The man helped her step up into the truck, and she shimmied into the passenger seat.

"Please, you know you love my big truck," I responded with a smile.

We had been bickering about this truck since the day I bought it. I liked my full-size Ford F-250 crew-cab pickup and needed the large vehicle to be able to tow my trailer. Alice hated how large and 'manly' it was.

"No, I really don't," she said, scowling. "Though today I'll concede that I like him a little since he's taking me away from this hospital."

I jumped into the driver's seat as Esme walked back to her vehicle. Once the doors were closed and our seatbelts were fastened, I turned to look at Alice.

"Ready to go to a carnival?" I said with a smile. She snorted at me, fighting to keep the irritated look on her face. I giggled at her as I turned back to the front, checking my mirrors for any other cars.

"Yeah, yeah, let's go," she replied. "I'm sure you're just _dying_ to get back to my cousin."

Neither of us spoke on the drive, happy just to be sitting together listening to the music from my iPod. Just as we turned into camp, she turned to look at me. I could see her evil little smirk out of the corner of my eye. I parked the truck alongside my trailer, noticing the blue tarp had been removed, and turned in my seat to face her.

"So tell me something, Bella," she said, raising her eyebrows. "Where will young Edward be sleeping this evening?"

I couldn't fight the smile that spread across my face as I stared her down.

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?"

.

.

.


	12. Mineral Spirits & Door Locks

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

_._

Once Alice was resting comfortably in Esme's motor home, I rushed over to the midway to check on my booth. The carnival was located about half a mile from camp. The distance wasn't so much that I would drive, but it was further than normal. I could already hear the speeches Jack and Madge Newton were sure to give, warning us not to walk to camp alone after dark.

Luckily, this carnival had short hours. We would be open from two until nine on Saturday and noon until seven on Sunday. The holiday Monday would be a bit longer, from noon until ten when the fireworks display would begin. With a little luck and a light crowd, Edward and I could watch at least part of the show from the grounds.

I turned the final corner, smiling to myself as I imagined Edward and I curled up under a sky exploding with purples and reds and yellows. I hadn't made it fifteen feet onto the carnival grounds when I froze. My jaw dropped as I observed the number of large-scale rides being set-up on the street in front of me.

This was not your usual fair ride assortment.

I slowly walked past a small Ferris wheel, a Kamikaze, a Big Shot and a Tilt-a-Whirl on my way to the middle of the grounds. Men in greasy coveralls were everywhere, working in groups of four or five. The air was filled with the screech of pneumatic tools, and the grounds positively reeked from the overabundance of mineral spirits and petroleum products.

I finished the walk to the middle of the grounds, spotting a Wave Swinger and a Zipper at the other end of the ride alley. I was about to turn onto the midway when a ride I had never seen at a traveling fair caught my attention. It was tall and skinny, almost hidden behind the larger footprints of its neighboring rides. If I hadn't spotted the dual green support posts against the background of trees in the distance, I may have missed it entirely.

I found myself drawn to it, wanting to see it up close. My steps were hesitant and unsure, as if the ride were a sleeping monster and I was afraid to wake it. My eyes had to be playing tricks on me. There was no way I actually saw what I thought I saw.

I hadn't walked ten steps when I felt a warm, heavy hand on my shoulder. I jumped a little, the odor of chemicals having masked the scent of whoever was touching me.

"Come on Bells, let's get back to the midway," Emmett said. I looked up at him, noticing how hard his eyes were as he stared toward the same ride I was gawking at just seconds before.

"Em, is that really a Screamin' Swing?"

"Yeah, it is," he replied briskly. "And if I were you, I'd stay the hell away from it."

His eyes met mine, and I cringed at the fury I saw there.

"You got a problem with the machinery or with the ride jockey?" I asked. He stared at me for a moment before his eyes softened, and he exhaled loudly.

"For the swing, it's a problem with the machinery," he replied. I looped my arm through his as we began walking back toward the midway, away from the offensive mechanical beast. "The only Screamin' Swings designed to be transportable are the one-arm, four-seat models, and even those are few and far between. That's a two-arm, eight-seat unit, which was engineered for single-location use. That thing should be in an amusement park, not traveling around the country on a train car."

"So, is it...not safe?" I glanced back at the ride, feeling a knot form in my stomach.

He sighed before he answered. "I honestly don't know, Bell. S&S Power developed the compressors that run the ride for direct power, not generator access. Plus the constant assembly and disassembly causes the metal to fatigue faster than a permanent ride." He shook his head as we came to the crossroads of the grounds. "Just do me a favor and stay off the rides this weekend, okay?"

I shrugged, never really a big fan of rides anyway. "Yeah, sure. No problem. I was just surprised to see such..._large_ rides in the valley."

Emmett stopped, tugging on my arm so I would turn to look at him.

"Bells, the bigger they are, the further you have to fall." His eyes were intense, and I could practically feel the unease rolling off him. He was the head of Eclipse's ride safety team and took exceptional care of our machines. The unknown danger of these monstrosities was something his structured mind couldn't accept. "Just stay away from them _and_ their jockeys. I get a bad vibe from the entire lot of them."

"Mikey obviously doesn't feel the same way," I blurted without thinking.

Emmett's face hardened in anger again, but this time it was directed at me.

"Look, I know it was a shitty thing that happened, and we're all really fucking lucky no one was seriously injured or killed." He leaned down, and I tilted my head back to hold his gaze. "But Mike's just a dumb kid who wanted a little popularity with the new crowd. He didn't mean to hurt anyone."

"He may not have meant it, but he did hurt people, Em. He could have killed my mom, Alice, Edward. He shouldn't just be able to walk away without taking responsibility for what he did."

"Yeah, well, the family's dealing with him," he replied with finality.

"Maybe I want my own chance to _deal_ with him," I said angrily, crossing my arms over my chest.

He glared at me, refusing to back down. "Don't threaten him, Bella."

"He almost killed my family!" I yelled, my anger washing over me in red-hot waves. Electricity tingled up and down my arms as I began losing control. "He should pay for what he did! When I get my hands on him-"

"He's my brother!" Emmett roared. I took a step back, realizing belatedly how angry he truly was. "Do. Not. Threaten. Him. We're dealing with this shit, not you. So back off. Go run your game and make your money, but stay the fuck away from Mikey." He spun on his heel and stormed off, heading back toward the Screamin' Swing. I watched him walk away, feeling confused by everything I was feeling.

On one hand, I was definitely angry with Mike. His joyride could have cost me everything, taken away every person in my world that was important to me. On the other hand, I could see where Emmett was coming from. Mike was just a kid, and his constant need for approval was obvious. It made him easy prey for anyone wanting to take advantage of his gullible nature.

I was completely wrapped up in my thoughts when a forklift barreled down the street. I didn't notice it until it was right in front of me, only a couple of feet from where I stood. I jumped back and yelped in surprise. There were more than rides that seemed dangerous on these grounds. I turned and rushed back to the midway, no longer wanting to be anywhere near the ride valley.

This carnival was setup in an X-formation, with rides down the entire length of the north-south branch. The east-west branch bisected the ride valley, the north section housing a beer tent, a couple of food booths, a stage and seating for patrons. The south section was the designated midway.

I worked my way down the path, avoiding the boxes scattered all around and the other carnies working diligently to set up their booths for the weekend. When I reached my assigned spot, I was surprised to see the booth about halfway completed. The basic frame was constructed, and the counter and backdrop were in place. Five of the twelve clown faces were already setup, and parts for the rest were stacked neatly on the front counter.

"Hey, beautiful. You wanna play a round?"

I looked over to see Edward smiling at me. He was leaning against the frame leading from the front of the booth to the rear storage area. His arms were folded across his chest, and his hair was in a wild disarray.

He looked ridiculously handsome.

"Did you do this?" I asked, motioning to indicate the booth. He simply nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. "Really?"

He nodded again, his gaze dark and intense. My pulse raced as I watched him. I walked to the front counter and climbed up. His eyes stayed on mine, unwavering. I swung my legs around and hopped down, directly in front of Edward.

"You did this for me?" I asked quietly. I stepped closer, placing my hands on his chest. "That's really sweet, Edward." I wrapped my fingers around the fabric of his shirt and pulled. I needed to touch him, to feel him. There was no reason to try to hide that fact; my entire being vibrated with the desire to be close to him. His arms moved to encircle my waist, squeezing me against him.

"Thank you," I whispered right before my lips met his. He hummed softly, opening his mouth against mine.

I took a moment to breathe him in, enjoying the sweetness that filling my lungs. My tongue trailed across his bottom lip, tasting him, caressing him. Far too soon, we pulled back, kissing chastely one last time. I opened my eyes to find him still watching, still staring at me with fiery eyes.

He placed his forehead against mine, refusing to let me go. "How's my cousin?" His hands remained on my hips, kneading the flesh.

"She's good. She's resting with Esme right now." I ran my hands up and down his back, slipping my fingers beneath his shirt on my second pass. His skin was warm, soft.

We stood in the booth, clinging to each other, for several minutes. I heard other carnies moving back and forth along the aisle, but I never looked in their direction. Nothing could capture my attention like the man in my arms.

"Come on," Edward said finally, placing a sweet kiss against my nose before releasing my hips. "Let's finish up here. We still have to setup Alice's gypsy wagon and go check out your trailer."

"Is it still all cocked up?" I asked. Edward snorted a laugh, and I glanced up at him, rolling my eyes. "You know what I mean." I stepped over to the counter and began assembling another clown.

He leaned over, brushing his lips against my cheek. "Oddly enough, I do." Our eyes locked, and we both smiled softly. "We repaired the aluminum shell, reinforced the frame, remounted the cabinet and fixed the chair. After the season ends, you'll want to have that corner rebuilt, but it's fine for now."

"Wow," I replied. "You guys were busy."

He laughed quickly. "That, my dear, is an understatement. It's been a long morning."

We worked comfortably side by side until the front of the booth was completed.

"Are the pumps ready?" I asked, looking over the clown faces and making small adjustments.

"Yeah, the water supply is filled, and I tested the pumps right before you showed up. I'm pretty sure we're ready to play."

"We?" I asked, smirking.

"Well, yeah," he said, running a hand through his hair nervously. "Since there're no magic shows this weekend, I figured I would help you out here."

My smirk changed to a smile. "I'd really like that."

**xXxXx**

Once the booth was stocked with prizes, we walked hand in hand to the front of the midway. Since Esme hadn't planned to participate in this carnival, her large fortuneteller tent was in storage. Alice had shipped her vintage gypsy wagon instead. It was small but had an authentic feel. It had been passed down through the women of their family for four generations, each owner adding personal touches.

Edward looked at the little building on wheels curiously, studying it. He gripped my hand tightly, his touch bordering on painful.

"Was this hers?" he asked. I tugged on his hand to get his attention. When he turned to me, the expression on his face broke my heart. He looked sad and angry, youthful and aged, but mostly he looked afraid. He was an amalgamation of everything his mother had done - a living, breathing manifestation of all her bad decisions…and her good ones.

And he was standing in front of something that could have been the starting point for all her mistakes.

"No, this was never your mother's," I replied. I reached forward and grabbed his other hand in mine, holding his gaze. "Your grandmother gave this to Esme when she retired from traveling."

"They talked about the cart. My parents. Whenever they told the story of how they met, they always mentioned the gypsy cart."

"It wasn't this one. Your mom and Esme owned a smaller reproduction cart. Esme sold it a couple years ago since no one was using it. She prefers the warmth of the tent, and Alice likes the history of this one."

"Did you ever see it?" he asked. His voice so small, like a child's.

I nodded slowly, still staring at him. "Yes, I saw it. I went with Alice to clean it out before they put it up for sale."

He nodded slowly and then turned to look at the wagon once more.

"Okay then," he said. He paused for a moment more, still drinking in the wagon. Before I could ask if he was going to be all right, he turned back to me and smiled, no longer looking frightened. "Let's get this ready for Alice."

We worked on the exterior first – placing chocks under the wheels to keep them from rolling, unlatching the shutters covering the small windows, cleaning the glass and wood, installing the steps leading to the door. When the majority of the work outside was completed, Edward moved inside to set up the work and living spaces while I began placing the outdoor decorations I knew Alice loved.

"Hey Bella," Edward hollered as I stood on a stepladder, hanging a green lantern from the overhang.

"Yeah," I replied, stretching. The cup hook the lantern hung from was just out of my reach. Suddenly warm fingers surrounded my hand, running upwards until they reached my fingers and removed the handle of the lantern from my grasp.

"Let me help you," Edward murmured. He stretched up and hung the lantern easily. "Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself." He leaned forward and placed his lips against mine, pulling my bottom one between his teeth for just a second. I sighed when he moved his face away.

"Can we talk about the bed?" he asked quietly. My heart was racing, and my head was fuzzy from his touch, but I was sure I heard him say bed.

"You can sleep in mine tonight...with me." His eyes widened, and a slow smile crept across his face.

"I'd love to sleep in your bed with you, chéadsearc. That wasn't the one I wanted to talk about, though." I furrowed my brow in confusion. "Jesus, you're adorable." He placed a tiny kiss on the tip of my nose, then pointed to the wagon door. "There's a small square bed in there. I'm not really sure what to do with it."

"Oh," I said. "OH! Alice's bed. Right." I hopped down from the stepladder and hurried into the wagon. "There used to be chairs in here when Esme used it. Alice wanted to be able to, uh," I glanced at him before quickly looking away, "sleep here so she added the bed." In truth there had been very little sleeping on that bed, but I wasn't about to tell her cousin that. "It sits along the back wall, in the middle. She has about eighty million pillows she stacks on it to make it look more like a couch during the day."

"So over there?" he asked, pointing to a spot under the rear window.

"Exactly." I nodded and turned to walk back outside.

"Oh, and Bella?" he said from behind me. I spun back around, raising my eyebrows at the teasing tone in his voice. "You don't have to cover for her. I'm pretty sure I know what she uses this bed for."

I was embarrassed for a split second before I realized how much I wouldn't mind having a little alone time on any bed with him. I licked my lips slowly, watching him as his eyes widened and his lips parted. I stepped right up to him, sliding my chest along his as I stretched onto the balls of my feet. He met me half way, bending slightly at the waist so I could place my lips against his ear.

"Only pretty sure?" I asked, lowering my voice to try to sound seductive. "Do I need to give you a demonstration so you know exactly what happens on this bed?"

I heard a sharp intake of breath from him right before I felt his hands on my hips, wrenching me against his body. His mouth covered mine - hot, demanding, urgent. My entire body began sizzling with electricity as our tongues tangled together, and I moaned loudly at the arousing sensation.

Edward pulled his mouth away, placing open-mouthed kisses along my jaw and neck. Blood pounded through my veins as I leaned my head back, gasping for air. The wagon suddenly smelled like a beehive in the summer – hot, sweet, heavy.

"Bella," he mumbled against my skin. I pulled on his hair, directing him back up my neck. I didn't want his mouth to move away from my skin. "I have to," he placed a wet kiss on my collarbone, running his teeth along the skin, "tell you," he licked down up the side of my neck, "you have to…"

"Hey, Bell, are you in there?" Emmett's voice from outside broke through the haze of lust surrounding me. I sighed loudly as Edward groaned and rested his face in the crook of my neck.

"Two days," he said vehemently against my skin. "I swear on everything I have - after this carnival is over, you and I are going away for two days before the next one. There's still so much we need to talk about." He bit the side of my neck softly, and I trembled at the sensations that simple action shot through my body. "Two days of just us. No phones, no family, no interruptions. " He placed one last kiss against my shoulder before pulling back.

"Is that a threat?" I teased, still trying to catch my breath. I stepped away from him, keeping my eyes on his.

"No, sweetheart, it's not a threat," he replied, shaking his head slowly. I turned to walk outside, holding onto the doorframe for support as I stepped outside.

"It's a fucking promise." His voice was deep and rough, and it made my body feel as if every cell in my body had been set aflame. I peeked over my shoulder and gave him a sly look.

"Then I look forward to it, a stór."

I walked out onto the little porch and took the first step down. I recognized Emmett's mischievous smell increasing around me. I was glad to be along the back of the midway, farther away from the noxious odors of the ride valley.

"There you are," he said, rounding the corner of the wagon and approaching the steps.

"Here I am," I replied, cautiously. I was still feeling uncomfortable about our confrontation this morning. I wasn't sure if he was here to talk about it or yell at me again. "What can I do for you, Em?"

I took two steps down, ending up being eye to eye with him since he was standing on the asphalt. I couldn't help but notice how tired he looked.

"I just wanted to apologize for earlier. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. It's just…it's Mikey, you know?" His eyes were wide, honest, as he spoke to me. I nodded because I did know. He had become Mike's protector from the second they met. Emmett was always trying to steer him in the right direction, and he ended up being the one to clean up the messes when he went in the wrong one. The nature of our business left a lot of unsupervised time for kids to get into trouble, and Mike definitely took advantage of that time.

He never meant to cause any harm; he just didn't think through his actions.

"It's okay. I shouldn't have threatened him like I did. I know he didn't mean to hurt anyone."

"So…we good here, Belly button?" He smiled cautiously at me, opening his arms wide in a nervous invitation.

"Yeah, we're good," I said as I leaned against his chest. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and squeezed.

"Thanks, kid," he whispered against my hair. I pulled away and smiled at him just as Edward walked out of the wagon.

"Hey, Emmett. How're things?" he said, smiling. Emmett's face darkened as he looked between Edward and me.

"Things? Things are as good as can be expected," he said, refusing to look at Edward. "I'll see ya later, Bells."

"Emmett!" I exclaimed. His rudeness toward Edward shocked me. Last time I saw them together, they were joking and getting along great. "What's your problem?"

"People with small minds and big mouths - that's my problem," he answered, jabbing a finger in Edward's direction as he walked away.

Edward brought his hands to my shoulders, massaging along my neck as I watched Emmett leave.

"What the hell just happened?" I asked, not really expecting an answer.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess he knows what I said to you in Trion, knows what I called you." He stepped down to the same level I was on, placing his feet on either side of mine and wrapping his arms around me from behind. "Bella, I'm-"

"Don't you dare apologize again, Edward." I interrupted. He sighed behind me, and I felt his head rest against the top of mine. "It's done, over. We're moving past it, and everyone else is just going to have to catch up." I turned in his hold, placing my head against his chest.

"No doubts, a stór. Remember?"

He sighed and tightened his hold on me.

"No doubts, chéadsearc."

**xXxXx**

After our little run-in with Emmett, Edward and I went to help Phil assemble the Roll-A-Ball game. This took us most of the afternoon and into the evening, as he was unable to start assembly until after my trailer repairs were complete. Once the booth was assembled, we walked back to camp to check on Alice. She was already asleep when we arrived, so we didn't stay long, but we did sit and have a glass of sweet tea with Esme.

"Why are you leaving?" I asked, when she told us her plans to return to Florida the next day.

"Alice doesn't need me here," she said, smiling softly. "I chose a long time ago not to come back to Alabama, and I honestly feel as if I should stick to that decision. Don't you worry, though. I'll be back to keep an eye on you kids when we head to Laurel in two weeks."

Her leaving upset me in ways I couldn't explain. It was almost as if a voice in my mind was trying to shout at me, to tell me why Esme needed to stay. I just couldn't seem to make out the words.

A few minutes later, Esme asked me to run inside and check on Alice. I immediately agreed, finding her still asleep in Esme's bed. I took a few moments to splash a little water on my face, hoping to clear my head.

Things had been feeling _off_ all day. Nothing obvious, just little things – the door being unlocked when I remembered locking it, the way the fumes of the ride alley disguised other smells around me, the niggling feeling in my brain that Esme should not leave New Hope.

I thought back over the details of the day, running through the sensations and scents I had encountered. There was definitely something wrong, but I couldn't quite figure out what it was.

It almost felt as if something was missing.

When I finally walked back outside, Esme and Edward were whispering furiously to one another. There was a definite tension between them as they leaned into one another.

"Sorry," I said, frozen on the steps. I wasn't sure whether I should join them or go back inside until they finished talking. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

"You weren't interrupting," Edward said, his eyes still on Esme. "I was just telling Aunt Esme that it's time for us to go." He finally looked up, the expression on his face softening as he met my nervous gaze. "Are you ready?"

I nodded and walked over to him, glancing between the two of them as I went. "Good night, Esme. Thank you for the tea."

"Good night my dear," she replied with a sad smile. She stood and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, hugging me tightly. "You two be careful, okay?" She unwound her arms, placing her hands on my face. She didn't speak again, just stared at me for a moment before turning and walking back into her mobile home.

"What was all that about?" I asked. We walked toward my trailer slowly, our fingers laced together between us.

"Just Aunt Esme being a little over-bearing," he replied. He pulled me into his body, wrapping one arm around my waist and kissing the top of my head. "Are you sure you don't mind me staying in your trailer with you?"

I chuckled and shook my head. "No, I definitely don't mind. Though we're going to have to work on some ground rules."

"What kind of ground rules?"

"Well, first, if we fall asleep in bed together, we should wake up in bed together. No more sneaking off first thing in the morning."

"That really wasn't my fault," he said with a laugh, "but I'll agree to that rule. What else?"

"That's the only one I have right now, but I reserve the right to add more as I see fit." We both laughed easily as we walked through the camp.

The evening was warm, but the humidity was low enough to make the air more pleasant than it had been during the day. We passed a lot of carnies grouped together outside their temporary homes, chatting amongst themselves or just sitting quietly and enjoying the night air. The weatherman was calling for a hot, humid day Saturday, so everyone was trying to soak up the comfortable weather before the heat came.

By the time we made it back to the trailer, we were both tired and hungry. Edward decided to drive into town to pick up a pizza while I showered off the grime of the day. I gave him my keys and locked the door behind him before heading to the bathroom. I showered quickly, wanting to be presentable when Edward came back home.

I giggled as I thought of that. _Home_. At least for now, this trailer was his home, our home. I liked the idea of sharing my space with him. Things may have been moving quickly by others' standards, but I knew we were on the right path. I watched Phil and Renee's love blossom quickly and knew how perfect they were for each other. Edward and I could have a similar love story if we just believed in it.

I heard the door open and close in the living room, and I smiled, realizing Edward must have driven terribly fast to get back so quickly.

"Hey, speed demon," I shouted through the bathroom door as I pulled a tank top over my head. I tucked the fabric into the waistband of my yoga pants before I opened the door. "You'd better watch that lead foot around here. You wouldn't want-"

I stopped as I walked out the door, not seeing Edward in the living area. I turned around and noticed the bedroom door was closed. I approached it cautiously, a feeling of unease washing over me.

I knew, without a doubt, I hadn't closed that door.

My fingertips were reaching for the handle, ready to pull it open, when I realized there was no scent around me - not the lingering fragrance of Edward, not the scent of perfume or body wash, not the normal, everyday smells that simply existed in the air.

There was nothing, as if the world around me was void of any and all scents.

Never in my life had I experienced such a lack of sensory input. Every hair on my body stood on end as a massive wave of fear-induced energy slammed into me. A heart-stopping feeling of absolute panic seized me, and I felt as if my lungs had stopped working. I stood still and silent, my entire body frozen.

There was a slight noise behind the door, so small I might have overlooked it had I not been in such a heightened state of awareness. I felt a sudden urge to retreat, and I took a slow step backwards, still watching the door. I heard it again – a little click, like metal on metal. Quick, muffled, unfamiliar.

Someone was in my bedroom.

I turned and bolted for the front door, yanking it open and slamming my hip into the counter in my rush to get out, to get away.

"Dad!" I screamed when my feet hit the asphalt. I ran on instinct - legs pumping, arms swinging - racing for the safety of my family.

As I reached the edge of my trailer, I felt someone grab my arm. I screamed and threw myself at the person, hoping to throw them off balance. The energy zipped along my skin as I moved into a fighting stance, my mind processing everything as if each motion was in slow motion - step, plant, balance, defend.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked quickly. I choked out a sob, my body relaxing, the energy dissipating. I had never been happier than the moment I realized I could smell everything around me again. Caramel, rain… pizza. I turned into his chest, desperately wanting to bury myself in his warmth.

Phil came rushing around the corner at that moment, looking as terrified as I felt. "What's going on?" he asked, looking between Edward and me.

"Someone's in my trailer," I said, panting and shaking.

"Who's in your trailer?" Phil asked. He and Edward shared a worried look.

"I don't know. I heard the front door, but no one was there. The bedroom door was shut. But I couldn't smell anything, and I heard a clicking from the bedroom. It wasn't a normal clicking. And there was no smell." I knew I was rambling and speaking too fast, but I couldn't help it. The adrenaline still flowed, and fear still clung to me. I still wanted to run; I still wanted to get away.

"Here," Edward said to Phil, handing him a pizza box and pushing me toward him. "Get her inside, and call the police. I'll go check out the trailer."

"No!" I shouted. "You don't know who it could be."

"It's okay, Bella," he said soothingly, pushing my arms back as I tried to grab onto him. "Go with Phil - I'll be fine." He had taken two steps away when another voice joined in the melee.

"What's wrong with Bella?" Emmett asked as he ran up to Phil.

"Someone broke into her trailer. Edward's going to check," Phil responded, still struggling to pull me toward his mobile home.

"I'll go with you," Emmett said to Edward. They exchanged a quick look before rushing off toward the door of my trailer.

"C'mon, Bella," Phil said. "Let's get you inside and call the police."

The New London police were surprisingly quick in sending a vehicle out to the camp. I stood in the Winnebago, watching through the windshield as two uniformed officers rushed to my trailer. Neither appeared to be Officer Kelly, for which I was grateful.

"What's taking so long?" I asked Renee after what seemed like hours.

"I don't know, baby." She sat in the passenger seat, running her hand along my lower back as I stood next to her. Phil stayed near the door, his body tense as he kept watch outside.

"Here comes Edward," he said after another few minutes. I turned and watched the door, anxious to have him near me once more. As soon as I heard the first squeak of the door handle releasing, I was in motion. Edward was still climbing the steps when I grabbed him, pulling him to me with a relieved sob.

"Are you okay?" I said as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. His arms went around my waist, and he laid his head against my chest.

"I'm fine, beautiful. Are you okay?" He squeezed me harder as I trembled against him.

"Yeah, I was just so worried." I ran my hands through his hair and pulled back so I could look him over.

"Excuse me," said a voice from behind him.

"Sorry," Edward said, climbing the remaining steps and moved to stand to my side, just slightly behind me. A tall, slender man in uniform stepped up into the room. "Bella, this is Chief Cullen. Chief, this is Bella Swan."

Chief Cullen offered me his hand, and I shook it, albeit a bit warily. "Chief Cullen?" He smelled of sage and something else. Something clean and crisp, something that made me think the word 'truth.' "May I assume you're related to Carlisle Cullen?"

"Yes, ma'am. Carlisle's my cousin on my mamma's side," he said with a heavy accent. He opened a small, leather-covered notebook and pulled a pen from his breast pocket. "Now, Miss Swan, Mr. Masen here already filled me in a stretch, said someone was in your trailer. Can I ask what happened and how you knew that?"

I glanced at Edward, hoping he had known enough about people with gifts to keep the scent aspect out of his discussion with Chief Cullen. Edward's green eyes locked with mine. He held my stare for a beat, then flicked a quick glance at the Chief before meeting mine once more. He barely nodded his head, and I knew my secret was safe.

"I was in the bathroom when I heard the outside door open. I figured it was Edward because I had locked it when he left to pick up the pizza. When I walked out, there was no one in the living area, and the bedroom door was closed." Chief Cullen scribbled notes on his little pad as I spoke.

"And that's unusual?"

"Very." I nodded. "I rarely shut that door. It's a plastic accordion door, and the top bracket cracked a couple of months ago. I leave it open so I don't do anymore damage until I can get it fixed at the end of season."

"So you think someone was in your bedroom - is that right?"

"I don't think it; I know it. I heard them."

He looked up from his notes, a hard glint in his dark blue eyes. "What did you hear?"

"It was a clicking, like metal on metal."

"Could've been the trailer settling. It was a hot day, and the temperature's dropped a piece."

I shook my head. "No. I know every creak and groan that trailer makes. This wasn't one of those random sounds - it was a deliberate noise. Like two things knocking together, metal on metal." I looked over at Phil who was standing with Renee in the front of the Winnebago. I was getting frustrated, unable to explain exactly what I heard in the way I wanted. I shifted back, brushing my shoulder purposefully over Edward's chest. He responded by placing his hands on my arms and pulling me against him.

"Officer Fields and I did a thorough sweep of your trailer, and while we didn't find anyone in it, we did find something that concerns us. Would you care to come outside so I can show you something?"

"Sure." I grabbed Edward's hand as we stepped outside. Phil and Renee followed closely behind us. A second officer was standing at my trailer door, holding a spotlight. The sun hadn't set yet, but it was definitely well past the gloaming hour.

"Okay, Miss Swan," Chief Cullen said as he opened the door. He directed the other officer to shine the light on the lock. "You see these here scratches on the latch faceplate?" I nodded, noticing scratches in the gold surface. "Well, see, that's kind of an odd place to have scratches like these. Normally, if someone had used some kind of tool to pick the lock, we'd see scratches near the keyhole. Unless the door's already unlocked, there's no way to access this faceplate. That got me to wondering."

He shut the door and pulled my keys from his pocket. "Now see here, if I lock the door this way," he put the correct key in the keyhole and turned it, "then the door locks like it should." He tried to turn the handle but wasn't able to. He quickly unlocked and reopened the door. "When you leave for a time, is that the way you lock the door?"

I shook my head. "No, I always lock it from the inside before I shut it."

"That's what I figured. Miss Swan, can I get you to step inside? I want you to lock the door from the handle, just like you did earlier tonight."

I did as he asked, feeling a residual chill of fear creep along my spine when I stood in the trailer alone. I couldn't help but inhale, feeling relief when the normal smells of my home greeted me. I quickly locked the handle and took a step back.

"Okay, it's locked," I yelled through the door.

The handle turned, and Chief Cullen opened it… without using the key. My jaw dropped as I looked between his face and the doorframe.

"How did you do that?" I asked. I stepped back outside quickly, no longer wanting to be inside my trailer.

"Someone's rigged your lock, Miss Swan. If you engage it with a key from the outside, it locks. If you use the lock on the handle, it doesn't engage."

"And you think this was intentional, not just some weird defect?" Renee asked from behind me.

"Oh, I don't think it; I know it. Someone sure went to a lot of trouble to be able to access this ol' Jayco." He paused as he looked at the latch plate again. "You had any problems with this lock lately – maybe the door wouldn't close properly or your key stuck?"

"Yesterday," I said, looking over to Edward's concerned face. He reached out and took my hand, sidling closer. "I was trying to open the door right before the accident, but the lock was sticking. I couldn't get the key to work right away." Chief Cullen nodded, scribbling more notes on his little pad of paper.

"Was that the first time you had trouble with it?"

"Yeah, everything worked fine when we were in Georgia."

"And you've been living in the trailer since then?"

"No, I, uh," I said, looking at Edward once more. He squeezed his fingers around mine and gave me a small smile. "I had a friend take it to a storage lot in Anniston so I could drive my truck to Tennessee."

"I'm gonna need the name of that lot and the dates your trailer was there. With any luck, they have security cameras. Maybe we can get a shot of whoever fiddled with this here lock."

I retrieved the paperwork from the trailer, my mind circling endlessly around the question of who would have done such a thing and why. It didn't make any sense.

After another ten minutes of questions and notes, Chief Cullen closed his notepad and offered me his hand.

"Miss Swan, it was a pleasure to meet you. I'm real sorry it had to be under these circumstances, though."

"It was nice to meet you as well, Chief Cullen. Thank you for-" I paused. I wanted to tell him thank you for not treating me like a criminal, for not disregarding me simply because of my occupation. However, I didn't; I couldn't. "Thank you for everything." I turned to walk back to Phil's mobile home, but the Chief's raspy voice stopped me once more.

"I talked to my cousin last night, Miss Swan. He, uh, told me about the problems you had with Officer Kelly. I'd just like to offer my apologies for that. I want you to know I've handled the issue. He won't be bothering you again."

I peeked over my shoulder and stared at him for a moment, feeling uncertain. He looked contrite, as if he were personally responsible for Officer Kelly's behavior.

"You have my word, Ma'am." His voice was solemn, his words sincere.

I nodded my acceptance as he tipped his hat. He turned quickly and walked over to his cruiser, the other officer opening the passenger door.

"Come on, let's get you fed," Edward said as he ran his hands up and down my arms.

**xXxXx**

After a dinner of bad, warmed up pizza, Phil and Renee locked up the Winnebago and headed to their bed. By some unspoken agreement, Edward and I found ourselves staying on the sofa bed in the living area. I didn't want to go back to the trailer until Emmett could fix the lock, and Edward seemed to be happy wherever I was.

He was sitting up against the back of the sofa, his legs stretched out in front of him. I was lying on my side with my head in his lap. His fingers ran through my hair lazily, and my hand massaged his right thigh. From the outside, we probably looked like any other couple winding down after a long day, as long as the viewer didn't notice the clock glowing in the corner. It was well after three in the morning, and we still hadn't slept.

"Do you ever talk to your mom?" I asked. His head jerked up as if he were startled, whether by the question itself or the abrupt start to this conversation I couldn't tell.

"She calls about once a month, though I've only seen her probably five times since the accident," he said. His voice was cold, cautious. I didn't want to push him too far, but the feel of his scars under my fingertips made me want to know more about what happened after the accident.

"All that time you were in the hospital?" His fingers stilled in my hair.

"I saw her more often then. She'd call every couple of days, and she'd visit maybe once a month. I didn't-" He stopped, shaking his head.

"I didn't want to see her," he said quietly. "I told her I hated her for what she did, for what she was."

My heart broke as I thought about Edward, alone and afraid in a hospital room. The emotional pain of losing both his parents, in two very different ways, must have been crushing. Add to that the physical pain he was suffering from his injuries and the loneliness he had to have experienced… it must have been hell.

"When was the last time you saw her?"

"The day I left for Georgia. She was leaning against the Mustang when I walked outside."

"What did she want?"

He shrugged. "To say goodbye, I guess. She said the same thing she would always say when I left the house as a kid - 'be good, be careful, have fun.' She told me to always listen to Esme, and then she walked away."

"That's it?"

"That's it. She's not the most…maternal person in the world." I watched as he dropped his head against the back of the couch, looking up at the ceiling.

Once again, I felt as if something was off. I thought over everything I knew about Edward's parents, his accident and the death of his father. I moved the pieces around, twisting and angling them, trying to make them fit together properly. No matter how I moved them, though, there was always something not quite right. Something that refused to fit.

A tiny little piece, with a hazel-colored center and black around the edges.

"Alice doesn't know about this, does she?" I asked. The silence in the trailer stretched on. I had begun to wonder if he fell asleep, but then I heard his sigh.

"She knows my mom is traveling again, though she assumes it's with another carnival," he said, his voice cutting through the darkness like a scythe. "She knows about the accident and my injuries. But she doesn't know most of the… bad stuff. She doesn't know how little of a relationship I have with my mom or what happened the night my dad died."

"Why?" I asked. I thought I knew - at least I could guess - but I needed to hear it from him.

He sighed again, bringing one hand up to run through his hair. "Esme," he said in explanation, confirming my thoughts. "She chose what to tell Alice and what to keep from her. I just followed her lead."

"Alice should know," I said. I heard him make a noise, as if he were about to speak, but I cut him off. "She loves you, Edward, and you have her living in a fantasy world where everything in your life is roses and peaches. That's not fair. She could've been there for you, could've helped you. She's going to feel so guilty when she finds out you spent all that time in the hospital alone." I shook my head against his leg, knowing exactly what Alice's face was going to look like when she finally learned the truth of Edward's life.

She was going to be heartbroken she wasn't there to help him and hurt no one trusted her enough to handle the information.

"She's my best friend," I said softly. "I'm not going to lie to her."

The trailer was silent again, the only sound coming from the breeze blowing through the windows. I stared into the gloom around me. My thoughts focused on Alice, on how upset she was going to be.

"I don't want you to lie to her," he said, so softly I had to strain to hear him. "Will you come with me? If I tell her everything, will you be there with me?"

I sat up, being careful to keep from putting my weight on his damaged leg. I placed my hands on either side of his face, rubbing my thumbs over his cheekbones.

"If you want me there, then I'll be there. Always."

"I want you - there, here - I want you… always."

.

.

.


	13. Leather

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

_._

The scent of grief and loss pulled me harshly from sleep. It was a dry smell, similar to newspaper yellowed with age, but it also had a slight floral whisper. The scents together reminded me of one thing: dead flowers. Before I allowed the fear of what this meant to build within me, I reached out to get a grasp on the energy of the day. I was disheartened when it pushed against my skin – dark and heavy.

Everything surrounding me seemed to be weighted down by a feeling of sadness.

I moaned softly at the uncomfortable sensations flowing over me as I curled into a ball. Never had a day affected me so strongly, so physically. Never had the energy and scents I experienced spoken of such despair. It was a physical blow, the pain from a loss I hadn't yet experienced.

It terrified me.

Suddenly warm arms slid around me, and I recognized the aroma of caramel peeking through the grief.

"What's wrong, chéadsearc?" Edward mumbled from behind me, pulling my back tightly against his chest. I sunk into his embrace - needing to feel him, know he was still with me.

I shook my head, not willing to speak the words describing what I was feeling. He may have known about my gift, but we hadn't really discussed it in depth. I wasn't sure this day, with its negative connotations, was the one I wanted to use to introduce him to the intricacies of what I could do.

He propped himself up on his elbow, leaning over me to meet my eyes. I was amazed by what I saw in the viridian depths – concern and curiosity but also acceptance. There was no fear, and that knowledge gave me the courage to tell him the truth.

"The day smells like," I paused to take a deep breath, "grief, loss and pain. A lot of pain. It's horrible." I shook my head again and closed my eyes. After only a moment, I felt Edward pulling on my shoulder, turning me to face him on the bed.

"What do you need?" he asked. I looked at him in confusion, having no idea what he was asking me. "To make the fear go away. What can I do to help you?"

My heart positively exploded in my chest as his words sunk in. He knew – without telling him, without expressly describing the way the sensations were scaring me – he _knew_. I was stunned speechless. He hadn't disregarded my words; he hadn't tried to wash them away as if they didn't matter. He listened to them, considered them, and wanted to find a way to help me recover from my less-than-pleasant awakening.

In that moment, with his arms around me and his eyes locked with mine, I realized how alone my gift had made me feel all these years, how separate from most of the other people around me. And how much better this life would be with Edward supporting me, caring for me, loving me.

With that thought on my mind, I pressed my lips against his, placing small, gentle kisses to his mouth, his chin, his cheeks. I moved faster, almost frantically, as my heart swelled with emotion. I wanted to show him both with words and gestures exactly how much he meant to me in that moment, how much his acceptance meant to me.

He responded by tightening his hold on me and bringing his knee up between my legs. I shifted my hips forward, squeezing his thigh in the process. He moaned softly and bit down on a muscle in my neck, making me yelp in surprise. Deciding I needed his mouth elsewhere, I slid my hands up along his back, weaving my fingers into his hair and tugging until his lips finally met mine in an open kiss.

"Phil will kill you if he catches you rolling around on his sofa bed."

We broke apart, Renee's voice shocking us out of our lust-filled stupor. I pulled the sheet up around my neck quickly, wishing I could hide behind it. I noticed Edward pull the fabric to cover his lap as he sat up against the back of the sofa bed.

"Sorry, Renee," Edward said quickly.

I was panting slightly, my skin warm and flushed. I tried to force my mind to focus on anything other than Edward. I tried, and I failed...miserably. All I could think about was his body writhing with mine, his lips warm and wet against my skin. Every thought led me back to him, every picture in my mind morphed into a part of his body I wanted to lick, to taste, to bite.

I had never been more turned on in my life, but unfortunately I was in my mother's mobile home.

Renee simply smiled at us and winked. "Don't worry. He left about an hour ago to check on the booths."

I peeked at Edward, noticing how red his cheeks were, how his lips appeared swollen. His eyes met mine, appearing much darker than the grassy green I was accustomed to. There was something in them I hadn't seen before, something needy and lascivious. Something hungry.

He wanted me just as much as I wanted him.

I glanced down at his mouth, and I found myself licking my lips, still tasting him. When I looked back up, his eyes were watching my mouth, following my tongue as it slid from one side to the other. When his gaze returned to mine, we both smiled slowly, knowing our minds were in sync with each other.

"Can I get you two some breakfast?" Renee asked, walking to the refrigerator.

"Yeah, that'd be great," I said, still staring at Edward. My heart was slowing and my breaths were quieting, but I still felt a deep ache. A yearning for more of him, more of us… together. He leaned closer, placing his lips against my ear, as Renee began banging around in the kitchen.

"Feel better?" he asked quietly. I nodded, pulling back enough to see his eyes once more. The feeling of grief, of pain, was gone, buried underneath the sense of joy Edward's very presence brought to me.

"Two days, chéadsearc," he whispered. His words were like a fire in the blood, setting my body aflame from the inside. I gasped quietly when his fingers trailed lightly along the back of my hand, twisting around to tickle the inside of my wrist.

"No interruptions," I replied, smiling.

**xXxXx**

Thirty minutes later, after the fastest shower and breakfast of my life, Edward and I left the Winnebago to collect a few things from my trailer. We walked over slowly, fingers woven together.

I stopped a few feet away from my stairs. The familiar metal door that had always welcomed me home now intimidated me, making me feel wary and anxious.

"I'll go in first," Edward said. He took the keys from my hand, massaging my palm between his fingers and thumb. "It's okay, Bella. I'm sure no one's in there; I just want to make sure."

I nodded slowly, knowing he could feel the way my body trembled. He gave my hand one final squeeze before turning and walking to the door. Each step he took away from me increased my sense of dread. He jiggled the handle, finding it secured, before unlocking the door and stepping inside.

The second he was out of my sight, a sense of panic set my heart ablaze. I was sweating, shaking – terrified. This was supposed to be my home, my safe haven - but someone had ruined that for me. They took my private space and infiltrated it, leaving it desecrated in their wake. It made me feel uncomfortable and afraid.

It made me feel violated.

The realization of this shocked me, and my emotions quickly spun from fear to anger. The thought of someone having enough power over me to leave me feeling a sense of violation enraged me. They may have broken into my space, but it was still _my space_. I would buy a new lock - I would buy a hundred new locks - and I would continue to live _my_ life in _my_ home. I would not submit to whomever was responsible for this; they would not win.

I walked purposefully to my trailer, up my steps and through the door.

"Is everything alright?" Edward asked, stepping out of the bedroom.

I looked around, noticing the personal touches I had added over the years. The pictures of my family and friends taped to the walls, the books Edward looked through the first time he was here, the quilt I had slept under since I was a small child. All of it mine... all of it meaningful, even if only to me. This trailer, this hunk of sheet metal and rivets, was home. I wouldn't allow anyone to take my home from me.

"Yeah. Everything's great."

**xXxXx**

Edward tapped his fingers nervously on the Formica top of my dinette while I watched the clock. Phil had stopped by about twenty minutes prior after checking on our booths. He was taking my truck back into town to purchase a new lock for the trailer door along with a matching deadbolt.

I couldn't decide whether we were locking me in or locking others out.

After Phil left, Edward made the call I knew he was dreading. Alice hadn't been surprised to hear from him, though she sounded wary as she accepted his invitation.

"It's going to be okay," I said, hoping to calm him.

"How do you know?" he asked quietly.

"Because I've known Alice for a lot of years. This is going to hurt her, but she'll get over it. She just wants to be close to you." I covered his hand with mine, weaving our fingers together when he rolled it palm up. "She loves you, Edward. The fact that you hid something like this from her... it's going to sting."

He fidgeted with the edge of the curtain to his right for a second, seemingly lost in his thoughts. "Aunt Esme doesn't want me to tell her."

"What? Why not?" I could understand her original reluctance to share Elizabeth's deplorable behavior. I didn't agree, but I could understand. Continuing to leave Alice in the dark over something so monumental to her family simply didn't make sense.

"She thinks Alice will try to look for visions of my mom, that her curiosity will overrule her common sense." He glanced out the window, angling his head to get a better view. "Aunt Esme says she stopped trying to see my mom's future a long time ago, and she doesn't want Alice seeing anything," he paused, his eyes returning to mine, "disturbing." He pointed out the window. "Who's that guy with Jack Newton?"

I leaned forward to check, instantly spotting the stranger chatting with Jack between my trailer and the Winnebago. My eyes were immediately drawn to his boots – black, dusty, motorcycle style. They disappeared under a pair of tight, dark-colored jeans. The denim looked well worn, with threadbare patches along the knees and grease stains on the edge of the front pockets. His black t-shirt tucked neatly under the waistband, accentuating his black leather belt and shiny belt buckle. It wasn't bull riding-star big, but it was definitely a show buckle, making me think he was possibly a rodeo rider at some point.

"I have no idea. He's not one of our carnies," I replied, still eyeing the man intently. There was definitely something familiar about him, but I couldn't figure out what.

He was gesturing while he talked, the muscles in his arms flexing beneath a rainbow of ink. I couldn't see the details from my vantage point, but he definitely had a pinup on one forearm. I followed the line of his arms to his shoulders, then up his neck, finally stopping at his lips. They were moving fast, pink and fleshy with glints of metal on one side of the bottom one. His eyes were almond shaped, the color indistinguishable from this distance. It was sunny outside, but his face was shadowed slightly by the black fedora sitting atop his long, wavy brown hair.

"Those boots," I pointed out the window, "those jeans, the ink – my guess is he's a biker."

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing," Edward said, leaning back along the bench but not taking his eyes off the man outside.

"You have a lot of experience with bikers?" I asked, smirking at him when his eyes met mine. The man had a degree in music theory and composition; there was no way he had ever...

"I used to ride a little, before the accident," he answered, interrupting my thoughts. "My dad had a couple of old Harley FXE Superglides, and he used to take me on cruises up along the Wisconsin border. My physical therapist says I could probably ride again, but I sold the bikes after the accident."

I knew my mouth had to be gaping, my eyes wide, as I contemplated what he told me. Pictures of Edward sitting astride a bike inundated my thoughts. The long, lean muscles of his legs covered in denim, swinging over the seat of a black steel horse, his ass resting on worn leather, arms out in front of him, hands gripping…

A knock on the door saved me from completely embarrassing myself by drooling all over my table. Edward was watching me, one side of his mouth pulled up in a small half smile. I rose from the bench but stopped when he reached out and grabbed my hand.

"What's on your mind, beautiful?"

"Nothing," I said. "Just contemplating the fact that this day may end up being better than I originally thought." His brow furrowed, and I leaned forward to place my lips against his ear.

"That image you just put in my head? You, straddling a motorcycle...it may have made me feel a little," I brought his earlobe between my lips, biting it gently before releasing it, "overheated."

I heard his sharp intake of breath a split-second before the door opened.

"Hey, Bella. Jack wants to talk to you," Alice said as she bounced into the trailer. I kept my gaze on Edward as I straightened and took a step back. His eyes were dark, his lips slightly open.

"I never should have sold those bikes," he murmured. I grinned at him, and he smiled back in response, shaking his head. His fingers still gripped mine, his thumb massaging my palm.

"You have to let me go," I said, darting my eyes to our joined hands and back to indicate what I meant. His grip tightened, and he pulled me closer to him.

"Never," he whispered before placing a gentle kiss against my lips. I sighed, pulling my hand from his grasp and backing away again.

"I'll be right back."

Alice smirked at me as I walked out the door, Edward's eyes following my every move.

"Hey, Jack," I said as I stepped onto the asphalt. Obviously Mikey had learned how to douse himself in cologne from his father – I couldn't smell anything but the Old Spice Jack had apparently bathed in.

"Good morning, my dear. How are you feeling?" Jack was in rare wardrobe form today – brown and orange plaid knickers, a bright yellow polyester shirt with white hibiscus silhouettes all over it and yellow, leather dress shoes.

I honestly wondered where one could purchase such hideous clothes.

"I'm fine, thank you. What can I do for you today?"

"To be honest, I need a little favor from you." He brought his right hand up to his mustache, twisting the end. "I'm pretty sure we'll be adding a new ride to our line-up for the rest of the season. It's a Kamikaze, owned by a brother-sister team out of Texas. They've pulled out of this event but are coming back to the fair on Sunday to sign the contracts." His left hand mimicked the right, and I struggled not to laugh as he pulled and twisted both sides of his mustache simultaneously. "I was wondering if you would be willing to talk to them? Just tell them about life with Eclipse and answer any questions they may have."

"Sure. That's not a problem, though why me? Don't Madge and Esme usually handle this kind of thing?" He dropped both of his hands and smiled at me.

"Normally, yes. But these two are in their early twenties. I thought perhaps you would relate better." He looked down before frowning slightly and meeting my eyes once more. "Besides, Madge is currently occupied dealing with Mike, and Esme's leaving later today. I would consider it a personal favor to me if you would consider it."

Madge was dealing with Mike. In other words, Madge was keeping Mike locked in their mobile home so he couldn't go out and get into trouble. I almost felt bad for him... almost.

"No problem, just let me know when and where." I shrugged, assuming the conversation was essentially over.

"Excellent!" Jack said excitedly, bouncing up onto his yellow-leather covered toes once. "Thank you, Bella. I owe you one."

I started to walk back to the trailer when inspiration struck.

"Oh, Jack?" He turned around, a questioning smile on his face. "After this weekend, I'm going a way for a couple of days. I'll definitely be in Ashland Thursday evening, but I won't be reachable once I leave here."

He paused for a moment, looking at me curiously. I was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable from his stare when he glanced at my trailer. I followed his gaze, turning slightly to see Edward leaning in the doorframe. I smiled at him before turning back to Jack, who was now smirking at me knowingly. He reached up to twist his mustache again, obviously fighting off a chuckle.

"Sure, sweetie. I can accept that. Just make sure you're in Ashland by seven."

I nodded quickly before turning to hurry back into the trailer.

"What was that all about?" Edward asked when I approached him. I stopped on the step below where he stood, my face even with the bottom of his ribcage.

I shook my head, leaning my forehead against his sternum. "Nothing much. Jack wants me to play welcome wagon for a couple of new ride jockeys."

He brought his arms up and around my shoulders, pulling my chest against his hips. "Are you sure you don't mind being here right now? I don't know how Alice is going to react to this."

I wrapped my arms around his hips and kissed his abdomen. "There's no place I'd rather be than with you."

"Thank you," he whispered. I stepped up to be on even footing with him, stretching up onto the balls of my feet so I could reach his lips.

"Anytime," I answered. I kissed him quickly before whispering against his lips. "And I made sure Jack knew I wouldn't be available between this carnival and the next one."

He smiled down at me, a gleam in his eyes.

"Really?" His hands stroked down over my hips and along the swell of my ass.

"Two days, no interruptions." He kissed me again, harder this time, but I pulled away and smiled as I walked past him to deal with Alice.

There would be plenty of time for kissing later.

**xXxXx**

"I don't understand," Alice said, as she looked between Edward and me.

Edward had spent the last two hours telling her an overview of his life – his mother's criminal activities, her abandonment, his theory that she allowed the accident to happen. With every admission, her face grew more pained until she could no longer hold in her anguish. After hearing how Elizabeth had hardly visited Edward in the hospital, her tears flowed relentlessly, and occasionally her body was racked with heartbreaking sobs.

"Why didn't you tell me? All these years - all our conversations – and you never said a word." She shook her head and reached for another tissue. I sat in the captain's chair next to Edward. He and Alice were on the sofa, facing each other. My poor Edward looked tired, defeated, as he ran his hands over his face for the hundredth time and sighed.

"At first, I was embarrassed. It was something my dad and I just naturally hid from everyone. When I got older, your mom asked me to keep the secret. She didn't want-" He paused, glancing over at me. I nodded quickly, supporting him in his decision to be completely honest with Alice. "She didn't want you trying to _look_ for my mom's future."

"But I could have been there when you were in the hospital," she replied sadly. "I _would_ have been there. I can't believe you went through all of that alone." She shook her head slowly, tears still pouring from her eyes.

"I know, and I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you. I would have," he stopped again, this time coughing softly as his own eyes filled with tears, "I would have liked to have someone there with me. It was… difficult to be alone."

"Oh, Edward!" she cried. She jumped forward, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. I decided to offer them what little privacy I could, so I stood and walked quietly to my bedroom, my own eyes feeling a little watery.

The conversation with Alice had been emotionally draining, and I was exhausted. The truth of his life with Elizabeth was awful the first time he told me; it was positively horrific having to hear him tell it again.

I slipped my shoes off and crawled onto my bed, wrapping myself in my quilt as I lay down. The soft cotton against my skin was exactly what I needed to calm my frayed emotions, and I submitted to the call of sleep quickly.

I woke to the smell of wildflowers and caramel, rain and honey. Something warm and heavy was draped around my waist - squeezing me, holding me in place. I turned to look behind me, moving just enough to recognize the mess of copper-colored hair on the pillow. I pushed my body further into his hold, enjoying the feeling of peace he offered me.

Seemingly seconds later, an annoying ringing sounded from in front of me. Edward released my waist and stretched his arm over to the cell phone resting on the chest next to my bed, pressing a few buttons and silencing it quickly.

"Time to go to work," he murmured, his lips against my neck. I stretched my arms above my head and rolled slowly to face him.

"Hi," I said, smiling.

"Hi," he replied. "Alice will be back in a few minutes. She wanted a little time to talk with Aunt Esme before the carnival started." His hand ran up and down my side. "She wasn't as upset as I feared she would be, but it was definitely hard on her to hear about...that." I brought my hands up to rest on his cheeks, rubbing my thumbs along his cheekbones. He sighed loudly, closing his eyes for a moment as his fingertips paused along my ribcage. "I figured we could all walk over to the grounds together; I don't want either of you making the trip alone, daylight or not."

"Okay," I whispered. "We should probably get up, huh?"

He grinned at me before kissing my lips quickly. "Unfortunately, yes, unless you want another person walking in on us in bed together." He raised an eyebrow at me, and I laughed.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm getting up," I said, pouting.

He rolled away, sitting up on the opposite side of the bed. "Your dad stopped by right as Alice was leaving, by the way."

"Really?" I asked, sitting up and stretching my neck. "Did he need something?"

"No," Edward replied. We both rose from the bed and walked toward the hall. "He said he'd switch out the lock and install the deadbolt this afternoon. He also wanted to let you know he's moving the Winnie to the other side of the lot. Something about there being too much noise over here."

We reached the door at the same time, close enough so our chests brushed together.

"That's odd." I brought my arms up and around his neck, inching my body forward until we were pressed together from knee to neck. "He's never switched spot in camp before."

Edward wrapped his arms around me, running his hands down below my waistline. I sighed deeply and rested my head against his chest when his hands began kneading my ass.

"Does that feel good?"

"Mmmhmm," I moaned, wrapping my fingers into his hair. He continued his deep-tissue massage for several minutes, and I began to think it would be possible to fall asleep standing up if his arms stayed around me.

"C'mon, chéadsearc," he said finally, resting his hands on my hips and kissing the top of my head. "Let's go to a carnival."

**xXxXx**

As soon as Alice showed up, we began the trek over to the grounds. She clung to one of Edward's hands while I gripped the other as we walked. I could tell she was still upset, but she had her brave face on, and I wasn't going to undermine her composure by questioning her feelings. There would be time for questions when it was just the two of us.

"Did Esme leave already?" I asked as we reached the ride alley. The sheer size of the rides still intimidated me, not to mention the overwhelming scent of mineral spirits still obscured my sense of smell. I moved closer to Edward's side, seeking the security only his touch could offer.

"Not yet," Alice replied. She was wide-eyed as she passed each ride. "She, uh, needed to talk to Jack before she left." We walked quickly to the intersection that signaled the start of the midway, dodging other carnies trying to finish their last-minute tweaks. "Jeez, it's like carnival rides on steroids around here. I wonder what Emmett thinks about all this."

My mood darkened a bit as I remembered how rude Emmett was to Edward yesterday. "He's not a fan of the rides or the jockeys, though that could just be his arrogance shining through."

Alice peeked around Edward, smirking at me. "Ooh, a little testy with Mr. McCarty, are we?" She winked, and I rolled my eyes. "He's just pissed because Edward called you a freak. You know how protective he is."

I stopped, stepping almost in front of Edward so I could speak to Alice directly. My temper flared as all the pieces fell into place – Emmett was mad about what Edward said. The problem was, the only people who knew the words Edward used against me were Edward and me… and Alice.

"Wait a second," I said sharply, pointing at her. "How did he find out about that? I sure as hell didn't tell him!"

She flinched slightly at the venom in my voice and glanced nervously at Edward. "I, uh, may have mentioned something."

I groaned loudly, releasing Edward's hand and turning away from her.

"Damn it, Alice! That conversation was private. Now I have to deal with a pissed off big-brother type who may never forgive Edward for what he said. Wonderful!" I pulled my hair away from my face in frustration, sighing as I began to pace.

"I'm sorry," Alice said. I glanced at her but quickly turned away again. She at least had the decency to look ashamed. "He wanted to know what happened, why you ran off to Tennessee. I didn't know he would get so angry about it."

I looked over at Edward, and my heart sank to my knees. He stared at me with an expression of such sadness on his face. I quickly walked over to him and placed my fingers against his cheek.

"None of that," I said quietly. He opened his mouth to speak, but I placed a finger over his lips. "No. No more apologies. I told you, we're past that; everyone else will just have to catch up with us." He kept his eyes on mine, his appearing much darker than normal. When he finally realized I wasn't backing down about this, he sighed and nodded, still looking pained.

"I'm really sorry, Edward," Alice said from behind me. He had to glance at her over my shoulder since I wasn't ready to move away from him yet. "I didn't mean to cause any trouble."

Edward's eyes darted to mine before he looked over my shoulder once more. "It's okay, Alice. I understand why you told him." He returned his gaze to meet mine and wrapped his fingers around each of my biceps. "I'll talk to him; explain a little about what happened. It's the least I can do, considering all this is technically my fault."

"Edward-" I said, rolling my eyes and stepping away. His hands gripped my arms tighter, holding me in place.

"I'm not apologizing again, but I will take responsibility for what I did," he said strongly. I simply nodded at him, unhappy with this whole situation.

"Gettin' into more trouble here, Miss Swan?" Chief Cullen said, walking up to us from the side. I was surprised and thrilled to see Carlisle with him.

"Chief Cullen! It's good to see you again," Edward said as he released my arms. "Hi, Carlisle."

We all turned to address the two men. Seeing them side by side just solidified that they were related – other than their hair color, they looked quite similar. If Carlisle's hair was a few shades darker, I would have thought they were brothers.

"Bella. Edward," Carlisle said, nodding his head at the two of us. "I understand you met my cousin already." I nodded, smiling at the Chief.

"Hi, I'm Alice." Carlisle's smile brightened as Alice stepped forward and shook his hand. Chief Cullen held his hand out in kind.

"Please, call me Demetri," the Chief said, nodding at all three of us.

"What are the two of you doing here?" I asked with a smile. "Trying to get a jump on the crowds?"

"Nah, just finishing up my final walk-through of the grounds before we open the gates," Demetri responded. "What exactly do you three do for the carnival, anyway?"

"I own the Water Race game down the way," I said, pointing. "Edward will be working with me this weekend, though usually he plays the piano for our magical acts. Alice here," I held my hand up Vanna White style as she curtsied, "is one of the most talented fortune tellers in all of the south, if not the country. You both should definitely have her read your futures while you're here."

Carlisle's smile dropped, and his eyes seemed to harden before me. Demetri looked over at him, concern evident on his face.

"Carlisle," he said. Carlisle waved him off, a weak smile replacing his frown.

"I think you three should get to work," Carlisle said. His darkened mood concerned me, and I wondered again what kind of pain his heart had been through. "We have a few things to do ourselves before you officially open for business." He shook Edward's hand. "It was good to see you both again." He gave me a small hug. "I'll come by your game later. I'm feeling lucky tonight." He grinned at me before stepping to my side. "And Miss Alice, it was a pleasure to meet you." He offered her his hand, and she shook it while nodding. Carlisle stared into her eyes for a moment too long, his own widening. He glanced over at Edward once again, looking oddly tormented yet hopeful. His brow furrowed as he kept looking between the two of them.

"Carlisle, we should really be going," Demetri said. Carlisle stared once more at Alice, a puzzled expression on his face, before he turned to his cousin, appearing defeated.

"Nice to see you all," Demetri said, nodding at the three of us. The two of them hadn't walked more than five steps when we heard a voice yelling from behind us.

"Mary Alice Brandon!" Esme's voice cut through all the ruckus of the carnival grounds. I was turning to face her when I noticed Carlisle's head whip around. His eyes widened, and his mouth fell open as he stared over my shoulder. I looked between him and Esme before taking a few steps back so I could see both of them at once.

She was hurrying toward us, focused only on her daughter, her auburn hair flying behind her. "I swear, you'd forget your head if I didn't sew it on your neck every morning. You left without-"

Words stopped, air stilled and the scent of musk and grief, pain and wildflowers, slammed into my body with an intense force, as if a dam of love and anguish suddenly burst. There was no lingering stench of mineral spirits, no caramel and rain, no citrus and spice. There was nothing but the smell of love, lust and pain.

The gravitational pull between Esme and Carlisle was stronger than anything I had felt before, and I found myself unable to breathe around the pressure it exerted. It held me prisoner, my mind aware of what was going on around me but my body unable to respond. I was frozen, locked down in defense of the crushing want between those two people.

I noticed Esme slow her steps as her eyes met Carlisle's, and her mouth fell open in surprise. Her eyes began to water as they drank in the man before her. "Carlisle," she whispered as the tears spilled over and streamed down her cheeks. His expression mirrored hers – shock, amazement, pain.

"Esme," he said, breathlessly. They each stepped closer, both of them raising their hands toward the other. The force bringing them together increased, and I clenched my teeth together at the sheer weight of the energy racing along my skin.

Suddenly Esme shook her head and stopped, dropping her arm once more. "I never should have come here," she said sadly. She took a step back, and I felt the sting of my heart tearing within my chest.

"Esme, don't," Carlisle said, his voice sounding strangled and dark. "Please."

"I'm sorry," she replied, tears running down her face. "I never should have… you can't be… I'm not…" she closed her eyes briefly, her expression hardening a she pulled herself to her full height. When she opened them once more, I was shocked at how dead the hazel depths appeared – how they no longer appeared to fit with what I knew of her. "I have to go."

She spun, running away from us. The gravity around me, the pressure between the two, was ripped to shreds as she ran. I felt it in my chest, leaving my heart tattered and torn. As Esme ran out of view with Carlisle following, a wall of energy crashed into me, releasing me from the unfulfilled need I'd just experienced. I gasped as I regained control of my own body.

"Bella?" Edward said, grabbing my arm. My knees wobbled, and I collapsed against him, still feeling the knife-like edges of their pain scoring across my heart.

"Oh, God," I cried. I clung to Edward, needing the feeling of our own gravity to temper the effects from Esme and Carlisle's. "They're fíorghrás." I may have whimpered the Irish term; I could hardly hear my voice over the sound of the blood rushing through my veins. "Get… them… back."

"Bella! C'mon, sweetheart, you have to get up." Edward's voice sounded hollow and far away, almost echoing through my head. "Please, baby. You have to help me here. Just put your feet down." I tried to respond, to speak, but I no longer had the strength. I was faltering, sliding deeper into the pain, when a sense of calm enveloped me, soothing the ache within.

"Wrap her up." A new voice sounded concerned yet forceful, and I longed to tell whoever it was I was okay. I couldn't, though. I couldn't find a way past the wall of exhaustion I was behind. "Wrap yourself around her. You're the only one that can pull her out of it."

Suddenly I was drenched in the smell of caramel and rain, my body warmed by Edward's. I clung to him, breathing in his scent, so thankful to be released from the cloud of grief. The longer we stayed there, holding each other, the less pain I felt; the less pain I felt, the more aware of my surroundings I became.

After several minutes of caramel and rain, I noticed of the scent of leather, rosemary and tobacco nearby. I opened my eyes to determine the source of the odd combination. Edward sat on the ground with me in his lap, his legs bent to force his thighs and knees against me. His arms were like iron bands around my body, while his hands rubbed up and down against me. The biker guy I saw talking to Jack earlier in the day sat a few feet away, watching us with a look of concentration on his face. He smiled sadly when my eyes met his.

"Hey there, pretty girl," he said softly. Edward's hands stopped moving, and I silently wished he would go back to rubbing. I tried to pull myself closer to him, and he responded by tightening his hold almost to the point of it being painful. "How're you feeling?"

I shook my head, not really sure how to answer him. How could I explain the dichotomy I was experiencing? On one hand, I felt comfortable wrapped in Edward's embrace. On the other, I felt as if I had been hit by a semi-truck.

"What was that?" I asked, not expecting an answer.

"Well, darlin'," the stranger said, leaning back and pulling a cigarette pack out of his pocket. "That was what happens when soul mates refuse to accept each other."

He pulled a Zippo lighter from his back pocket and lit his cigarette, the smell of smoke almost choking me.

"I have to say, you all have some hellaciously strong emotions," he said as he tucked the lighter and pack back into his pockets. "I could feel everything from all the way down the midway."

"Who are you?" Edward asked, sounding wary.

"Oh, right," the man said. He wiped his hand on his jeans quickly, then offered it to us. "The name's Jasper. My sister and I own a Kamikaze ride, though we're not participating in this little fest." He motioned with his hand, but my body was too tired to look. "You're Edward and Bella, right?"

"How do you know our names?" Edward sounded more than wary now; he sounded angry. If Jasper heard the warning in Edward's voice, he certainly didn't pay attention to it. In fact, his voice was almost jovial as he explained.

"I was talking to Jack this morning about joining Eclipse. These other yahoos are more worried about speed than safety, and I just can't work that way, man." He paused, looking me straight in the eye, and his voice became more serious. "Jack mentioned there were a couple of… people like us here. People that could sense things more than others." He smiled again, pointing at me with his cigarette still between his fingers. "Plus, we've met before."

I looked him over again, still feeling that sense of familiarity, yet not knowing why. "I don't think I remember," I said. I sat up a little more, and Edward hissed when I put pressure on his right leg. "Shit! Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" I shifted my weight quickly, trying to move off his lap, but he held me tighter.

"It's fine. It just stung for a second." His face looked pale, but he smiled softly at me, so I turned my attention back to Jasper. He was looking between the two of us with an amused expression on his face.

"Okay, Jasper," I said, drawing his attention. "Since I can't seem to remember meeting you, you're going to have to fill me in." He smiled brightly, his dark gray eyes bright.

"If I told you my last name was Whitlock, would that jog your memory?"

I felt my forehead tighten as I thought about his surname. "Whitlock? Jasper Whitlock... why does that sound-" Suddenly images of two gangly teenagers with long blond hair flashed in mind. "Jasper and Rosalie Whitlock – you're Caius' son! Wait, I thought you were blond?"

He laughed brightly and removed his hat, shaking out his wavy hair.

"From the look of things," he fingered the purple streaks within my own brown locks, "you seem to know they make this thing called hair dye now."

I giggled and leaned forward, extricating myself from Edward's hold and giving Jasper a quick hug.

"My dad sends his love," he said as he patted me on the back.

I released him from my embrace and turned to face Edward. "Caius is my dad's sponsor. We spent the first couple of Thanksgivings as a family at their ranch in Texas." I motioned between the two. "This is my Edward."

Jasper laughed softly. "Yeah, I kind of figured that out already. My dad told me you found your fíorghrá. I think you may have thrown him into a mid-life crisis, by the way." I looked at him, puzzled, and he leaned forward as if to tell me a secret. "He still sees you as a little girl."

I rolled my eyes and smiled. "I was already a teenager when we met. How can he possibly see me as a little girl?"

Jasper just shrugged. "Don't ask me. I can tell you every emotion he feels, but I have no clue what goes on in that head of his." He stood up slowly, offering a hand to me when I followed. I was amazed at how re-energized I felt, and I wondered if it as partially Jasper utilizing his gift on me. Edward stood beside me, resting most of his weight on his left leg.

"It was nice to meet you, Edward." Jasper reached out and shook Edward's hand once again.

"Nice to meet you, as well," he responded, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "Thanks for your help. I'm glad you showed up when you did."

"No problem, man." He turned and started to walk away but called back. "Good to see you again, Bella. Rosie'll be in town tomorrow, and I know she's really looking forward to seeing you."

"You tell her to hurry her ass up. I can't wait to see her," I replied, snuggling into Edward's side. With a smile and a wave, he walked further down the ride alley, leaving Edward and I standing together.

"Where's Alice?"

Edward's face tightened before he answered. "She ran after Aunt Esme."

"I can't believe this," I said, shaking my head. "Esme and Carlisle. They knew each other, right? I mean, I didn't just imagine them calling out to one another, did I?"

He snorted a laugh. "No, Bella. You didn't imagine it." He ran his fingers over the side of my neck, then rested his hand on my shoulder. "You scared me."

My heart lurched at the quietness of his voice, the fear in it. I snuggled into him again, holding onto him tightly.

"It was the pull between them," I said, watching the people moving around us. We were running out of time before the carnival opened. "It felt like it sucked me in, and I kind of lost control." I wiped away a tear from the corner of my eye. "It was painful and exhausting to feel them denying themselves."

As I thought over what happened, another question occurred to me.

"The night we met," I began, tilting my head back to look up at Edward. "What did you feel? I mean, I know I have different reactions because of my gift, but-"

Edward silenced me with a kiss, and I moaned softly as his tongue flicked against my bottom lip.

"The second I saw you, it felt as if my heart had leapt out of my chest and into yours." He kissed me again, one hand on the back of my neck, holding me to him. "And then you stumbled. When I grabbed your arm, it was like my entire world collapsed and reformed just for you." I grinned at his description, pulling his face to mine for one last kiss.

"What do you want to do about Esme and Carlisle?" I asked, wondering if we should follow them, even though I had no idea what we could do to help.

"Nothing." I looked at him in shock, and he shook his head at me. "Alice and Demetri went after them. Plus, they're both adults. If they choose to be together, great. If not, what can we do?" He pushed a lock of hair behind my ear. "I don't know the story between them, and neither do you. All we know is they're soul mates but aren't together." He leaned down and kissed my lips softly. "I think right now the best thing we can do is give them time alone to work out whatever history they have between them. I can't imagine it's going to be a pleasant conversation."

I nodded sadly, understanding the wisdom behind his words. "I just hope they can work this out. I'd like to see Esme fall in love."

"Maybe you will," he said with a soft smile. "Now, what do you say we get to your booth? The gates are going to open soon."

I nodded and linked my fingers with his when he offered me his hand. He pulled me against his side as we began the walk through the rest of the ride alley.

"Do you think Alice will make it back to the grounds in time for the opening?" I asked. He shook his head.

"I really have no idea, but I hope so. This is between Carlisle and Esme, not Alice, Carlisle, Demetri, and Esme." I noticed Edward limping as we turned onto the midway.

"What was all that talk about Jasper feeling emotions?" he asked as we walked past a harried-looking Alec. I briefly wondered where he was running to but dismissed the question as inconsequential.

"Jasper and his sister are empaths," I replied, still recognizing a hitch in his gait. "They can sense the emotions a person gives off."

"Kind of like you and the energy thing?"

I shook my head. "Not really. I sense energy levels, not emotions. Really strong emotions do give off energy, but it's not the emotion itself that I can distinguish. Is this making sense?"

"Kind of," he replied, looking thoughtful. "So, if someone walked up to you who was furiously angry..."

"If the anger was strong enough, I could probably feel the energy disturbance it caused, but I wouldn't automatically know it was caused by anger. It could just as easily be fear or sadness." He nodded as we arrived at my booth. "Is your leg really okay, or are you in pain?"

He sighed, running a hand over his hip before shaking his head. "I'm in pain, and the humidity in the air seems to be making it worse." I glanced at the sky, noticing the ominous, dark clouds rolling in from the east. "But it's not horrible; I may just have to take a pain pill later." I stepped in front of him, placing my hands on his biceps. His went immediately to my hips, and I smiled as I wondered if Edward was an ass man.

"Are you sure?" I looked up at him and he nodded. "As much as I want you here," I tilted my head down and placed a small kiss over his heart, "as much as I need you near me," I nuzzled my nose into his chest, running it up along his sternum, "I would totally understand if you wanted to go back to camp so you could rest... or look for your aunt."

He bent his knees until he was practically eye-level with me and shook his head. "This is where I belong - in this game booth, working beside you. If the pain gets to be too much, I'll take a Lortab and sit down for a while. And I meant what I said; this situation is between Esme and Carlisle. I just wish their resistance hadn't been so hard on you." He pulled me closer, bringing our faces together so his lips barely brushed mine. "There's no place I'd rather be than with you, chéadsearc."

We were still standing there, arms and hands gliding over each other, lips and tongues dancing together, when the first patrons of the day began filling the midway. I stepped away from him, smiling, when a young couple approached the booth. I felt the same excitement I always felt the first day of the carnival, but this time it was stronger, more encompassing.

This time, I was more excited about what would happen after the patrons left and the lights went down over the grounds. Even with the shock of finding out about Esme and Carlisle and the worry I felt for them, I was still happy to be here with Edward. But this time I was more excited for the day to end than to begin.

I winked at Edward as he walked past me to the control panel, smacking my ass along the way. _Yep, definitely an ass man._

I looked out over the crowd now beginning to gather around the booth, and I smiled as I prepared myself mentally for the night ahead.

"C'mon up – aim it, shoot it, win it – there's a winner every round!"

.

.

.


	14. Clouds & Cashmere

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

.

Saturday afternoon proved to be busy, with constant crowds of patrons despite the oppressive heat. As the day went on and the humidity increased, Edward grew more sullen, his mood as overcast as the sky above us. When the line of people waiting to try their hand at the Water Race dwindled, offering us our first break of the day, I walked over to where he sat on a stool.

Even without saying a word, I knew pain had to be the cause of his brooding. His face was paler than usual, his hairline damp from perspiration. The muscles in his jaw clenched and unclenched to some rhythm only he understood, and his eyes appeared dull and lifeless. His shoulder curled inward slightly, and he rested his weight on his left hip, his right foot braced on the bottom rung.

"Hey," I said as I reached out to touch his shoulder. He flinched, obviously having been lost in his own thoughts, before looking up at me.

"Sorry." He brought his hand up to grab my fingers, squeezing them carefully.

"Don't apologize. I didn't mean to startle you." He slowly pulled me into his side, leaning his head against my chest. I ran my hand through his hair as I worried. I had no experience with chronic pain issues, and I wasn't sure what the best course of action would be to make him more comfortable. "Are you okay? You don't look so good right now."

He sighed loudly. "This humidity is killing me. I'm sorry; I really should be more helpful." He tried to stand up, wincing as soon as he placed weight on his right leg. I pushed him back down on the stool carefully, not wanting to cause him any more pain.

"Don't get up," I said, thinking quickly through my options. The camp was too far away to walk, but I also wasn't sure how close I could bring my truck to the booth if I decided to drive him home. Plus, I would have to find someone to operate the booth, which would be hard to do considering Renee wasn't working today. In a moment of brilliance, I figured out the perfect solution. "I'll call Emmett. He can drive one of the golf carts over to take you back to camp."

He was shaking his head before I even finished my sentence. "No. I'm staying here with you. I don't want you walking back to camp alone." I scowled at him even though he couldn't see me with his face buried between my breasts.

"Edwar-"

"No," he interrupted. His voice was stern, and I stopped talking immediately at the shock of it. He shifted his thigh, pulling me between his legs and wrapping his arms around my hips. "I want to be here... with you. I want to help you run this game and see you smile whenever a kid wins a prize. I want to take you home at the end of the night and know you're out of harm's way because you're with me. I haven't," he paused, gazing up at me with those big, green eyes, "I haven't had much opportunity in my life to be a gentlemen to the woman I care about." He ran a fingertip along the side of my face, smiling softly. "Please let me. I know you're strong and independent, and I respect that. But let me do something to take care of you, even if it's just staying nearby so I know you're safe."

His words thrilled and saddened me at the same time, and I felt the telltale burn of fresh tears behind my eyes. I nodded silently, unable to think of a response that would compare to such sweetness. I dragged my hand through his hair to massage his scalp as he nuzzled my neck.

"Did you at least take your pain pill?" I asked after a few quiet moments. He nodded, kissing my shoulder on his final pass. "What else can we do? Is there something that would help with the pain?"

He shook his head against me, resting his forehead on my collarbone. "Whenever the pain got this bad at home, I'd spend an evening in the pool. The weightlessness from being in the water helped take the strain off the joint." He took a deep breath, the warm air of his exhale tickling my throat. "Maybe I'll try a hot shower when we get back to camp; that might help."

I glanced out at the midway, my eyes traveling up to the dark clouds hovering over the grounds. I remembered looking at the map of this town before making the drive down and realized I might have a better option than a shower. If I could just find a little time away from the booth, I might be able to talk a patron into helping me out.

"Pray for rain," I said, smiling. I could smell the storm around us - the aroma of ozone, mud and rain had been dancing on the breeze most of the day. So far, the rain had held off, but by the look of the dark sky, it was only a matter of time before the drops began to fall. With only two hours until closing, a good rain would shut the carnival down and then, perhaps, I could take advantage of the geography of the area to make Edward feel better.

"Rain?" he asked, looking up at me as I nodded.

"If it rains hard enough, Jack'll shut down the midway early." I didn't tell him the rest of my plan, figuring it would only get his hopes up. I would hate for the weather to hold and not be able to follow through with what I wanted to do, especially if it was something he could benefit from. I didn't want to see him disappointed.

"Okay, we'll pray for rain," he said, as two patrons walked up to the booth.

Twenty minutes later, Mother Nature answered our prayers. The sky opened up, and fat droplets quickly drenched the grounds, patrons scattering to the safety of their vehicles. Within minutes, the word spread that we were closing up shop for the night, and I rushed through the process of securing the booth so we could leave.

"We're going to be soaked!" Edward yelled over the roar of the rain against the roof. I nodded, locking the final prize cage and wrapping the cash in a plastic bag. I tucked the bag into the back of my shorts and moved to stand beside him, watching other carnies run through the water.

"I can't run, Bella," he said, looking at me nervously. "Why don't you go ahead? I'll meet you at the trailer."

"No," I replied firmly. "You stayed with me when you were in pain; I'll stay with you on the wet walk home." He was shaking his head, but I wasn't about to be deterred. I moved to face him, stopping less than an inch away from touching him. "Besides, don't you want to see the show?" He looked confused, so I stepped back and moved my hand in a circle in front of my t-shirt.

My white t-shirt.

"Victoria's going to be telling all my secrets as soon as I walk out in this monsoon." Edward stared at my chest, seemingly dumbfounded for a moment, before throwing his head back and laughing.

"Jesus, Bella," he said, still laughing. "I never know what you're going to come up with next." I smiled at him, glad to see him in a better mood. Reaching out my hand, I grasped his and pulled him to me.

"You know what this means, don't you?" I asked, licking my bottom lip. His laughter faded as he stared at my mouth.

"I'll never be bored?" he questioned with a smile.

I cocked my head to the right a bit. "Well, yes. But that's not all." I curled two fingers into the waistband of his jeans, tugging roughly. "If you get to know my secrets, I should be allowed to learn yours." I trailed my fingers down along his skin, first under rough denim, then beneath elastic and a softer cotton. "It's only fair, after all."

His breath caught and his pupils dilated as he held my gaze. I felt the coarse hair below his navel against the backs of my fingers, and I stopped my descent, choosing to caress side to side instead. He leaned down, kissing me roughly, sucking my bottom lip between his teeth. I grunted softly, my hand curling into a fist around the fabric of his pants.

"C'mon," he said quickly when he released me. He ran his fingers from my hand, still gripping his waistband, up to my elbow, pulling lightly. "Let's go home." I pouted as I released his jeans and moved my hand back to my side. He stepped out into the rain, his hair darkening from the downpour, his t-shirt instantly clinging to his shoulders.

_Good lord, he's sexy when he's wet._

He turned back to face me, a devilish smirk on his face. "Are you coming? Or are we going to share these secrets with each other in the back of the booth?"

I grinned at him and walked out into the rain.

**xXxXx**

The walk back to camp was slow, but we continued bantering back and forth – teasing and laughing all the way. I caught Edward's eyes staring at my chest on more than one occasion, and I smiled when I did. Luckily, the bra I'd chosen to wear this morning was lightly lined; otherwise, Edward would be enjoying a much more interesting view.

When we reached the trailer, I stopped him by pulling on the hand that had held mine the entire way home. "Not inside, let's get in the truck."

He looked confused, so I smiled brightly at him and opened the driver's door. "C'mon, a stór. I promise not to bite too hard."

He laughed and limped his way around the front, taking his time climbing inside.

"Where're we going?" he asked when I started the engine. I pulled out into the aisle and turned toward the nearest exit.

"It's a surprise. Just sit back and relax - we'll be there soon." I turned on the heat, directing the air through the floor vents. The day was still hot and the rain was warm, but sitting around in wet clothes would quickly become chilly.

Ten minutes later, I pulled off the side of the road and parked by a small path through the woods. If not for the help of a local patron I chatted with while waiting to use the restroom, I would have never known about this place.

The rain had eased up considerably, and I was hoping the trail wasn't too muddy. The last thing we needed was for Edward to hurt himself worse on the way to our destination.

I hopped out of the truck and hurried around to the passenger side. Edward stepped out, closing his door with a thud. He looked wary, but I smiled at him and linked my fingers with his.

"Come. It'll be worth it," I said, leading him down the path. The trees above protected us from the drizzling rain, and the path was relatively dry. We walked in silence for a few minutes before stepping out from beneath the canopy onto the grassy shore of a small river.

"Wanna go for a dip?" I asked, backing toward the river, still holding his hand between us. He looked surprised, his eyes darting from the water to me and back again.

"How did you know about this place?"

I shrugged. "I asked around. One of the patrons mentioned this was a great spot to go swimming because the river widens just downstream – it keeps the current from being too strong."

He pulled my hand, pressing me against his chest and kissing me forcefully. "Thank you." His voice was deep, and his eyes flashed darkly when they met mine.

"You're welcome," I whispered. "Now how about we take a little swim? The water should be pretty warm."

Suddenly he looked a little uncomfortable, his eyes moving to the ground. "I, uh, don't have a suit with me."

I giggled and reached down to grab the hem of my t-shirt. "Neither do I."

I tugged it over my head and tossed the shirt to the side. Edward's eyes went wide, his mouth slightly open as he watched me. I giggled again and moved my hands to my waistband, popping open the button.

"Are you coming?" I asked, pulling my shorts down with my thumbs and kicking them by my discarded shirt. "Or am I swimming by myself?" I turned and walked to the river. I silently thanked the clothing fairies for my current attire. My new bra and panty set stood out against the background of deep green trees, white with black lace trim and tiny, pink bows along the edges. The bottoms fit me well, a simple bikini cut, and the way the lace dipped in the back accentuated the swell of my ass.

I had a feeling Edward would approve.

The water lapped warm against my calves as I stepped in, and I moved cautiously away from the shore. I had expected the bottom to be mucky or covered in slippery moss, but it was hard – almost like packed dirt. Small ridges made from years of flowing water and debris cascading downstream pressed against my feet.

I walked further out, the water quickly rising to waist-level. It swirled warm around me, even at the bottom, and I hoped this would be enough to make Edward more comfortable. I moved my foot to take another step, but when I tried to place it on the bottom, there was nothing to support me. I flailed and fell forward with a yelp. My head ducked underwater for less than a second when I felt a strong arm wrap around my waist and pull me back out.

"Watch that first step - it's a doozy," I sputtered, coughing out the water I swallowed. Edward chuckled behind me, holding me against his chest.

"I'll protect you from the evil drop-off, chéadsearc. Just hold onto me." I turned in his embrace so I could face him. His hair fell forward to cover his forehead, still soaking wet. Water dripped down his face and neck, running off the saturated strands on his head. He smiled at me, the pale light that peeked through the clouds bouncing off the water and reflecting on his face, accenting his spider web scars.

I raised my hand, tracing the lines delicately, my other one moving to rest on his bare shoulder, barely peeking above the waterline. "You're so beautiful," I whispered, unable to contain the emotions he brought out of me. Our eyes locked, his gaze intense.

"You're the one that's beautiful, my Bella." My eyes closed for a second before his lips brushed over mine, lightly, softly. His arms tightened around my waist, lifting me from my feet as he stepped forward into the deeper water. I pulled my legs up, wrapping them around his waist and crossing my ankles against his back.

The warmth of his skin surprised me, and I realized this was the first time we had been this close to each other without layers of fabric between us. I moved my hands down over the muscles of his chest as we kissed, tongues and lips coming together over and over again.

This wasn't hot and needful like our time on my deck in Tennessee or even this morning in bed; this was slow, comforting. This time wasn't about clinging, gripping and writhing. This time was about sensual brushes of skin against skin, long, languid kisses and the simple pleasure that came from taking care of each other.

I moved my lips to his chin, running my tongue down over his neck to his shoulder. He squeezed me tighter, moaning when I trailed my teeth against his collarbone. I opened my eyes and jerked back, startled by the dark splotches along his chest.

"What…" I asked, my finger moving to trace the intricate design of black knotwork tattooed on his skin. "What is this?" My voice was quiet, awed.

I remembered Edward telling me he had five tattoos, all connected, but I never expected something like this. In the middle of his chest was a beautifully-detailed Ulbster shield knot in black and gray ink. It was rather large, at least eight inches in diameter. One outside loop from each side was broken, running into a ribbon of knotwork instead of coming together to complete the shield. The woven bands of dark ink rose in mirrored arches up and across, joining in smaller Ulbster shield knots on the swell of each shoulder.

My fingers continued to trace the design, twisting and weaving over his skin.

"It continues all the way around," he whispered. I squeezed my thighs against his hips and shifted my weight forward to peek over his shoulder. The knotted bands ran across his back, leading to another shield in between his shoulder blades.

"Ulbster shields," I murmured, sitting back and laying my hand across the Celtic symbol on his breastbone. "Protection and inner strength." I looked into his eyes as I revealed the last meaning behind the knot. "A symbol of magical powers."

He nodded, his face serious. "Legend has it the Ulbster shield knot would distract an enemy long enough so the owner would win any battle."

"Why are they all connected?" I asked, running my fingers along the knotwork leading to his shoulders.

"So I can be protected from all sides." I continued eyeing the classic symbol, my eyes taking in every detail, every line of shading along the curves and dips. It really was a beautiful work of art.

"How long have you had it?"

"Ten years." My eyes darted to his in shock, my brain immediately doing the math. "My dad had the exact same tattoo. He made me get it when I was fourteen, saying it was my 'coming of age' present. Masen males aren't officially considered 'men' until they wear this."

"It's… stunning," I said, still surprised by the artwork decorating his body.

"No, you're stunning." His hand gripped the back of my neck as his lips captured mine forcefully. I clenched my legs around him, pulling his hips flush against my most delicate flesh. His other hand trailed over my hip and around to my ass, squeezing roughly and making my body jerk against his.

His resulting grin broke our kiss. "Sensitive?" he asked, laughing.

"No, just not used to someone grabbing my ass as much as you do," I replied sarcastically.

"Really?" he said, raising an eyebrow. "So you're used to people grabbing your ass _occasionally_?"

"Well, it is kind of a nice ass," I replied with a shrug.

He laughed loudly, throwing his head back. "It's not 'kind of' a nice ass." He leaned forward and kissed me quickly. "It's a great ass."

I smiled against his mouth. "You do seem to like it."

We continued swimming for over an hour, laughing and teasing all the time. I would pull away from his hold occasionally, but we would always come back together, wrapping ourselves around each other - kissing, stroking, caressing.

At one point, we were kissing desperately in the deep water, our bodies responding to each other's nearness. I moved against him, feeling him hard and wanting between my legs. Thoughts of us together like this, naked, filled my head, and I ground against him, circling my hips wantonly. His lips moved to my cheek, my jaw, my neck, and I moaned loudly.

"Mmm, Edward," I breathed, opening my eyes to see the dark sky above us. "I want-"

I dropped my head to reclaim his lips, but something on the opposite bank caught my attention. My body froze, but my heart raced as what appeared to be the shadow of a person moved along the tree line. I shifted away from him, dropping my legs from his waist.

"What's wrong?" he asked, reaching for me. I pushed his hands away and began paddling toward the shore where our clothes lay in the grass.

"I think I saw someone over there," I said, nodding my head toward the other shore. He turned and moved his head from side to side, scanning the bank.

"I don't see anyone." He faced me again, looking confused. At that moment, the sky lit up with a flash of lightning, and the rain began to fall again.

"Shit! C'mon, we need to get out." I lengthened my stroke, moving easily through the water. "Plus, I don't want to end up as the nightly entertainment for some fan of _Deliverance_." I swam easily past the drop off point, bringing my feet to the bottom and walking the rest of the way. Edward followed right behind me, his body shielding mine from any probing eyes on the opposite shore.

"Grab your clothes - I'll keep watch," he said. I hurried to where my shirt and shorts lay, pulling my shirt over my head and sliding my shorts up my legs. The cold clamminess of the still-drenched fabric sticking to my skin made me shiver, but it was better than standing around in my lacy lingerie.

"Here," I said, tossing Edward his pants when I was finished. He faced me, struggling with his wet jeans. I really took a good look at him - pale, beautiful, wearing only black boxer briefs, the gray waistband sitting just above his hipbones. I wanted to run my hands over his skin, strip those briefs from his hips and thoroughly investigate every last inch of him.

Another bolt of lightning flashed across the sky, thunder roaring shortly after it, reminding me of what needed to happen first.

"Hurry," I said, moving toward the path back to the truck. He fastened his jeans and threw his shirt over his shoulder, reaching out to grab my hand. I noticed he was barely limping, making me smile.

"Not to sound like a jerk," he said as we walked quickly through the dark woods, "but I thought you could smell storms coming." The further into the trees we moved, the more I felt the chill of being watched, the weight of unknown eyes making my stomach twist and my breath race.

"Usually," I replied, trying to see through the trees and brush. "Being in the water dulls my senses, makes me less likely to notice things like that." My heart calmed, and I sighed in relief when we broke through the tree line along the highway. I looked up and down the road as we hurried to the truck, but it appeared just as deserted as when we arrived.

_It was just your imagination playing tricks__ on you._

"Kind of like having a cold?" Edward asked as we both jumped up into the cab. I turned the key in the ignition, the engine roaring to life.

"What?" I didn't know what a cold had to do with smelling thunder, but I was definitely interested in figuring out why Edward saw a connection there.

"You know, when you have a cold and you get all stuffed up. You end up not being able to smell anything." I stared at him, mouth agape, before bursting into laughter.

"I've never had anyone use that analogy before, but yeah, I guess it's similar to having a cold." He smiled at me from the passenger seat, threading his fingers with mine on the console between us.

I put the truck into gear and turned around on the highway, heading back in the direction of camp. After a few minutes of silence, Edward turned in his seat to face me.

"Thank you for bringing me here," he said. I grinned, thrilled my little plan had turned out so well - even if I did feel a little creeped out about the possibility of some stranger coming upon us.

"I'm glad you liked it."

"Loved." I flashed my eyes to his, surprised by his word. "I didn't just like it - I loved it."

The rain, our damp clothes, the storm raging outside, the possible stranger in the woods – all the parts of this evening that should have ruined our time together fell away, leaving me blanketed in a warm feeling of contentment.

"Me too, a stór. Me too."

That night, after we each took a hot shower and dressed in our pajamas, we sat in my twin captain's chairs, discussing the next day.

"What time do we have to be at the booth?" Edward asked, looking tired but happy.

"Definitely by eleven thirty. The gates open at noon, and we close at seven, so it's a short day." I leaned my head back against the chair, closing my eyes. The evening air wafted through the open windows, warm and soft, and the chair was surprisingly comfortable.

"Why don't you go on to bed?" he asked abruptly, and I realized I had dozed off. "I can set up the sofa bed."

I opened my eyes and looked him over. He had donned a pair of black basketball shorts again, this time with a gray t-shirt with the outline of a goat head across his chest. His hair curled wildly on his head, sticking up in every direction. His eyelids appeared heavy, and he looked tired.

I kept my eyes on his as I stood and held out my hand. He glanced at it before returning his gaze to mine, questioning. After a moment, realization flashed across his features, and he smiled softly. He placed his hand in mine and followed as I led him back to my bedroom.

There was no nervousness in the air as we crawled across my bed and under my quilt, no hesitation. Nothing had ever felt as right as being in Edward's arms, and I wasn't going to pretend I didn't want him here with me.

When we both stilled, tangled up limbs and cotton coverings, I placed a single kiss to the center of his chest. The beat of his heart soothed me, and it matched the pace of mine perfectly.

"Mo chuisle," I whispered against the fabric.

"Yes, all yours."

**xXxXx**

Sensual. Tantalizing. Tempting. The energy of the day flitted against my skin - dancing, whispering, caressing. It swelled and receded, pulsed and throbbed - around me, through me, inside of me. As sleep released me from its hold, I inhaled deeply, almost groaning at the bouquet greeting me. Soft sweetness - a mix of caramel and clouds, vanilla and cashmere - surrounded my body, touch and smell and taste all wrapped up together in a single breath.

The moment was pure, unadulterated sex.

I snuggled deeper into Edward's chest, smiling as I savored the feel of him against me, his unique aroma, his delightful taste. My hands moved of their own volition under his shirt and along the muscular planes of his back. His skin felt warm and smooth against my fingers, and I took my time exploring every dip and swell as his breath washed over me.

We were so close, wrapped around each other in an embrace of comfort, of calm - just a few thin layers of fabric between my overheated skin and his. I cursed our clothes in my mind, as they were the only things keeping me from what I craved, what I desired.

Full contact.

Heart pounding inside my chest, I wiggled closer, running my nose along his neck and under his chin. His scent was deeper there - warmer, richer. The want to be near him, to become almost a part of him, surged within me, and I found myself clutching at him, my fingertips digging into the flesh along his shoulder blades.

I moaned softly as I touched my tongue to his skin, shivering as his flavor dominated my senses. He groaned and tightened his hold on me, wrapping his arms around my waist to rest his hands on the back of my hips.

My hands on him, his hands on me - pulling, squeezing, grasping. It wasn't enough. I needed more, needed to be closer. I shifted my face, feeling the roughness of his scruff burning the sensitive skin of my cheek. My body shuddered against his at the hint of pain, vibrating from head to toe. He held me tighter, sliding his hands to grip my ass and pull my hips into his. I opened my mouth against his jaw, biting and licking the sharp angle, drawing the skin between my lips as I reached his chin.

"Ungh," he groaned huskily before he whispered, "Bella." The sound of his own need - the deep, rich timbre of his voice - sent a flash of arousal through my body. I moaned in response, feeling the resonance as if it were physical, textural.

Suddenly, he lowered his head, his cheek sliding along my face, his lips colliding with mine. I gasped at the force. This was no gentle kiss - this was a violent convergence of tongues and breath, teeth and grunts.

He slowly rolled me underneath him as we continued kissing. His weight on me - his body resting atop mine - only increased my desire for his touch, for more. I wrapped one leg around his hip, desperately needing to find what I knew would be rigid, fierce… hard.

His hips ground into mine forcefully, and I whimpered when I finally felt him – hot, unyielding - moving against a spot that made stars explode along my skin. This closeness, this lack of space between us, was what I yearned for, what I had to have.

I wanted _him_. Wanted him to take me, to ravage me. Wanted him to explore every curve of my flesh, as I did the same to him. Wanted him to feel me, taste me, devour me.

I just fucking wanted him.

"Oh, Edward." I bit down on his bottom lip before sucking it into my mouth. "Now." His hips jerked at my breathy moan, and more stars burst, their sparks and ash tickling me. I planted one foot on the mattress and pressed down, the action forcing my hips to thrust forward - pushing, grinding, rolling against his length.

"Fuck," he whispered as soon as I released his lip. I took his word literally, hoping and praying he wanted this as much as I did. I slid my hands down to the edge of his t-shirt and pulled it up and over his head. He released me just long enough to comply, then brought his hands back to my body.

"Want," he murmured against my lips, the rough skin of his palms sneaking underneath my tank top, pulling the fabric up as they moved. There were no more words, no real need to speak; our bodies could hold this conversation alone. I raised my hands over my head and allowed him to remove the flimsy piece of fabric. He tossed it carelessly and then returned his eyes to my body. Leaning over me, he brought his lips to a spot directly between my breasts, kissing softly, lapping at the skin.

"So beautiful."

His mumbled words as he moved his head to the side, bringing his lips and teeth and tongue to the swell of my breast. I arched into him when the rough hair along his chin brushed against my nipple, and I groaned with pleasure when the soothing moisture of his tongue followed.

My hands moved along his back as he teased and tormented, winding the coil of energy within me tighter and tighter. Still needing to be closer, still wanting to feel more, I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of his shorts and pushed down as far as my hands could reach. Edward stopped his assault on my breasts as I pulled both my legs up. Eyes locked, small smile in place, I slid my feet down along the outside of his thighs, pushing the fabric to his knees. I watched and waited, unable to go any further without his help, without his agreement. He leaned down, his lips brushing delicately against the corner of my mouth.

"Are you sure?" It was a whisper, barely more than a breath, but in that moment - with the knowledge of what we were about to do, how this act of love would complete the bond between us, making it stronger, deeper - it was earth-shatteringly loud. I nodded slowly, still smiling, as we prepared to take the final leap into what we were destined for.

Together.

He sat back, pushing his shorts the rest of the way off his legs and kicking them to the side. Our gaze never wavered, the depth of adoration in our eyes keeping us tied together. This wasn't just physical; this wasn't lust winning out. This was emotional; it was our hearts joining more so than our bodies – this was love.

I pushed up on my elbows, wanting to see him as he rested on his knees between my legs. The pale expanse of his chest, decorated with the shield and knotwork around the top, the ripples and curves of the muscles leading my eyes lower. The pale, pink scar running from just below his navel almost to the crease of his thigh. The dark, curly hair trailing down, widening at the base of his cock, accentuating the darker flesh - long, thick, hard… perfect.

My eyes moved back up his body, finding him staring at me heatedly. "Hi," I whispered. He smiled, bringing his fingers to trace delicately along the flesh of my stomach.

"Hi." His thumbs moved slowly, carefully, under the waistband of my shorts, moving back and forth under the elastic. He kept his eyes on mine, watching me, waiting for me. I pushed up with my legs, my hips rising off the bed, knowing and wanting what was about to happen. He pulled my shorts and panties off together, removing the final barrier between us, his eyes following the fabric as he dragged it from my legs.

I waited patiently for his eyes return to my hips, knowing exactly what he would find. They slid along the curves of my legs, unhurried. He leaned forward when he reached my hips, curling his body to place a tender kiss against the purple ink barely an inch above and to the left of my bare slit.

"Ulbster shield knot," he murmured. The words slid hot and damp against my skin, making me tremble with want. He placed his hands flat along the side of my thighs, the rough skin of his palms offering a thrilling contrast to the softness of his touch. I moaned my approval as he moved up my body, kissing, touching and licking his way from my hips to my chin.

Wrapping my arms and legs around him, I pulled him to me, wanting to feel his heat and weight against my body. He nibbled along my jaw, groaning softly, as I rubbed and pulled, squeezed and slid.

"Please," I whispered when his lips finally met mine again. He breathed in my word, shifting his body to the side, pulling me with him.

"Bella, it's," he said, panting, resting his forehead against my temple. His hand moved down my body slowly, making my muscles quiver in anticipation. "It's been so long… I don't… I… let me do this… first… just let me."

I silenced him with my lips, my tongue gliding along his as his fingers finally reached the heat between my legs.

Carefully, sensually, he trailed one finger along my slit, from top to bottom and back, running up one side of my entrance and down the other. I thrust against his hand, wanting more. He pushed his finger deeper on his next pass upward, barely entering me, and I gasped. He moaned against my mouth, swirling his finger around before dragging it up to my clit.

My body jerked, and I threw my head back as he circled, pressing and squeezing gently every few passes. I was so wound up, so close to release already, I knew it wouldn't take much to make me shatter. I gripped his shoulders with my arm, keeping his warm skin against mine, needing his nearness as he brought me higher and higher.

Faster than I could process what was happening, he slid his finger down and plunged it inside me, the heel of his hand now grinding against my clit. I cried out, thrusting against his hand as he added a second finger. Grunts and cries, tugs and tickles, sweat and honey and sparks of color overtook me. I was all sensation, nothing but simple need as I shamelessly worked myself against his touch. His fingers pushed harder, sunk deeper, until there was suddenly a stillness. For a brief moment, perhaps less than a second, all was silent and dark as my body hovered on the brink of something spectacular. With one last rotation of his palm, the night exploded around me, forcing every one of my senses into overdrive.

Honey, caramel and cashmere caressed me, purple and pink sparks sounded behind my eyes, and the moans from my mouth as I came undone scraped along my tongue. There was fire and light, ice and darkness as the swirling within me pulsated from the tips of my toes to the ends of my hair. The feeling of giving in, giving myself over to the pleasure, seemed endless as I writhed underneath Edward's hand. Slowly, subtly, the world came back into focus, the dark of night, the heavy breaths and the warmth of his touch returning from the edges of my consciousness.

"That was…" Edward murmured, his voice thick and heavy like leather against my skin. I didn't let him finish, needing his mouth back on mine more than I needed his words. I pulled on his shoulder, rolling him on top of me and spreading my legs for him to rest between. I could feel him, every inch of his desire squeezed against me, and I pushed my hips up against it. The resulting moan was loud, primal, though whether it was from his mouth or mine I couldn't have said. We were locked together, flesh on flesh and breath on breath, nothing holding us back from what we both desperately craved.

I twisted my hips, freeing him from between us. He rolled his body against mine, realigning. We groaned loudly when the tip of him slid against my entrance - hot, ready.

"Do we…" he said, his teeth chattering as he squeezed my lip between them.

"No," I replied, understanding his thought without needing to hear his words.

"Sure?"

I barely nodded, my tongue too busy moving with his to care about mere words any longer. With gentle pressure and a tiny sting of adjustment, he pushed forward. I rolled my hips as he countered my movements, sliding inside me slowly, carefully.

We breathed in unison, gasping with each push, panting as he pulled out. His hands were under me, wrapped under my arms so he could grip my shoulders from behind, pulling me against him forcefully. My own hands traveled continuously, rolling over his shoulders, tickling along his spine, grasping his ass. I couldn't get enough of him, couldn't feel enough of him. The longer we moved together, the harder he thrust, the more desperate I felt, frantic, needing him so much my chest ached with the weight of it.

There were words and groans, grunts and the noise of skin slapping together, but it didn't matter. The sounds around us were indistinct, hidden behind the edges of our desire. Even the smells around us – the honey, the heat, the smell of sex and lust – barely registered with me. This wasn't about seeing or hearing of smelling. This was about feeling – skin on skin, hard and hot inside soft and slick - brushing, plunging stroking.

Our movements sped together, never losing the rhythm as we each climbed higher, working together to reach our individual ends. He released one shoulder, dragging his hand along my side to my thigh. His long fingers wrapped around the soft flesh at the base of my ass before pulling, bending my leg so it rested in the crook of his elbow. The position adjusted the angle of my hips, and he slid deeper on his next thrust.

"Fuck," I groaned, tingles shooting through my belly as he hit a spot inside me that made me see stars. I pulled my leg higher, moving my knee so it rested beside his shoulder. He grunted when I pulled my opposite leg up and around his waist, my foot resting along his ass as he flexed and released.

"Jesus, Bella… I'm… I'm gonna…" He didn't need to finish the sentence. His thrusts came harder, his hips slamming against mine with enough force to move me up along the bed. I could feel my walls tightening, the tingling in my gut growing and sizzling as I climbed toward another release. "Almost… need… le do… thoil."

His plea sent me soaring along a wave of ecstasy I had never experienced before. Every nerve fired, every muscle clenched as I cried out, the pleasure engulfing me. Edward followed me, cursing and calling my name as he stiffened above me, his head thrown back.

And in that moment, as he came inside me, I felt a shift in the world around me. My heart was no longer my own; it joined with his, twisting and tangling together like the knotwork adorning each of our bodies. I had felt it before when we first met and again in Tennessee, the joining of our souls as our bond pulled us together. But this was different, more powerful and yet indescribably fragile. We were one now, a unit, and if one of us broke, it would destroy the other.

Our joined hearts were a gift and a liability, a strength and a weakness. I wrapped my arms and legs around him again and clutched at him, thrilled and terrified and full of blissful peace all at once. It was overwhelming, it was completely unique to us, and it was a feeling I had been chasing since the moment I recognized the gravity between us.

He must have been feeling the same way because he laid his body on mine, covering me, wrapping his trembling arms around my back. There were no words spoken between us; there were none needed. There was nothing that could speak of the emotions of the moment better than the simple warmth of his naked flesh against mine.

Our breathing eventually slowed, our hearts thumping together. The darkness and the silence added to the intimacy of the moment as we clung to each other, our bodies sated. He rolled just enough to pull the bulk of his weight from me, still holding me against him.

And when the tendrils of sleep began tickling along the edges of my consciousness, luring me into the oblivion only they could provide, we whispered together. Hearts and mind and body and soul, tied together in a moment of purest love.

"Tá mo chroí istigh ionat."

.

.

.

* * *

**Tá mo chroí istigh**** ionat **translates to "My heart is within you"

**Mo chuisle** translates to "My pulse"


	15. Anything

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

.

I woke to the sound of rain on the roof and the feel of warm hands stroking along my skin. Night disguised the space around us, the only light coming from the waxing moon shining through the windows. Edward lay on his back beside me, my arms and legs intertwined with his. Sighing, I rolled carefully until I was almost on top of him, resting my head on his chest. His eyes met mine, and he smiled even as his hands continued to tease me.

"Hi," he said quietly. I smiled.

"Hi." We stayed there, grinning at one another, as the cicadas sang outside.

"You cursed," I said, placing a kiss to his shield then dragging my tongue up to his collarbone.

"I had nothing more intelligent to say. You cursed, too, you know." I nuzzled up the length of his neck, rubbing my nose against the scruff along his jaw.

"True, but you cursed more." I brought my lips up to his, still smiling.

"I'll make sure _you_ curse more next time," he replied, kissing me softly. I groaned as Edward's tongue skimmed along mine. His hand moved down my back to squeeze the swell of my ass, and I pulled my head back, breaking our kiss and smirking at him.

"You begged." I raised an eyebrow, challenging him to argue. He rolled us, ending up on top of me, his hands reacquainting themselves with my hips, my waist, my breasts.

"So did you." His voice was quiet, muffled, as he licked and kissed his way down my neck.

"Yeah, but you begged in a foreign tongue." I tilted my head to the side, silently asking him to move to the secret spot behind my ear – the one only he discovered mere hours ago.

"You like my foreign tongue." And then he nibbled and licked _the spot_ as my toes curled and my hands squeezed _his_ ass.

"Mmm, I really do."

.

.

His lips and teeth brushed playfully across my nipple as his fingers tweaked the other. I panted softly, my brain working to think through the pleasure his mouth brought me so I could ask the next question.

"When was your last time?" I asked, curious about his history. We'd been playing this game for over an hour - teasing, kissing, rubbing - but always talking. It was the most intimate experience of my life.

"My last time what?"

"Sex," I said. He froze, holding his breath. "When was the last time you had sex?" He drew his head back, an uncomfortable look on his face.

"Awhile ago," he answered evasively. I scratched my nails over his scalp, pulling on his hair in the way I now knew he liked.

"How long?" I asked, quietly determined. We had held nothing back, asking difficult questions and giving honest answers. I didn't understand why this should be any different. He moaned when I pressed my hips against his, goading him.

"Before the accident," he said quietly. To say I was shocked he hadn't had sex in almost five years would be a gross understatement.

I was absolutely floored.

"Why?" I regretted asking the question the second the word crossed my lips. Edward flinched, turning his head away, but not before I saw his embarrassment.

"Hey," I said, reaching to pull his face back to mine. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that to come out the way it did. I'm just surprised, that's all." I kissed him gently – once, twice.

He shrugged, still refusing to meet my eyes. "It's not something I actually decided. After the accident, I was in the hospital for a year, plus I was doing some pretty aggressive physical therapy." His eyes finally returned to mine, and I smiled softly as I traced the scars along his face.

"Even after I went back to school," he said quietly. "The pain in my hip would sometimes be so strong, I'd have to skip class and stay in bed all day." He smiled at me. "Though I don't think I would have minded so much if you were in the bed with me."

I rolled my eyes at his joke before capturing his lips with mine. We kissed and licked, nibbled and stroked – teasing until our panting breaths became the loudest sound around us. I wiggled my hand between our bodies, gripping his erection and bringing him to where I was hot and wet…where I wanted him again. My heart raced as I looked into his eyes, feeling the electricity between us pulsing. He moved his hips slowly back and forth, teasingly, while he placed feather-light kisses against my chin. Every kiss, every brush of lips against skin, sent a trickle of pleasure along every inch of my body.

I moved both my legs to rest my feet on his calves, dragging them up his muscles as I bent my knees. Honey and cashmere wove between us, wafting across my senses playfully. I continued to slide my feet up over the backs of his knees and Edward moaned, offering slow caresses of lips and tongue. When my thighs were resting against his waist, I gripped him tightly, wrapping my legs around his hips and pulling him against me, inside me.

"Ah, fuck," he groaned. A feeling of completeness washed over me, and I sighed as he began moving in long, slow strokes.

"Does this hurt you?" I asked, squeezing my legs around his hips again to indicate what I meant.

He shook his head, breathing heavily. "Not really. I mean, this," he thrust hard against me, and I gasped when his body stilled, "makes me ache a little." I wiggled beneath him, wanting more, but he held his position while his arms shook with effort. "But it's so fucking worth it." He finally pulled out slowly, and my entire body trembled around him.

I slid my hands into his hair, pulling his face to mine forcefully. He moved faster, his thrusts hard and deep as we both grunted and groaned. The energy around us intensified, sizzling along my arms and legs in continuous circuits of delight – no beginning and no end.

Even amidst the haze of sex enveloping me, I worried about his pain. An idea struck me, and I ran my hand down to his chest, pushing him away. He seemed startled at first, then rolled smoothly as I followed, never losing our connection. I straddled him as he lay on his back, his hands kneading my thighs.

"Would this make you ache less?" I moved my hips in a circle against him twice, then lifted up from my knees before dropping back down slowly, carefully. The depth this position offered had me clenching around him, and I stilled momentarily as my body shivered in response. When the wave of pleasure retreated, I repeated this rhythm as Edward's eyes closed and his mouth fell open.

"Fuck, I don't know. But I think we should definitely find out." My head fell back as he arched up against me, sliding deeper. The scent of honey exploded around me, drenching me in its sultry sweetness.

"Mmm, yes," I moaned. "Need to…ah…find a painless position." I leaned forward, placing my hands on the wall over his head for balance. His eyes opened to meet mine, and I smiled at him. "It might take…fuck…a lot of time and…ah, energy."

He drove into me, gripping my hip almost painfully hard. "I'm…fuck, Bella…up for it…ungh…if you are." He smiled slightly before I rotated my hips, making him grunt.

After a few minutes of writhing above him, I leaned back, angling my upper body over his knees. We both gasped as he slid deeper yet, the head of his erection pushing against a spot that made my body tingle all over. His movements became more hurried, and I knew he wouldn't last much longer. I was so close, the delicious ache low in my abdomen growing hotter with each second. Desperate to find my own release, I pulled his hand up my thigh and used my fingers to show him what I needed. Within seconds, he was teasing, stroking, rubbing – his efforts making my body pulse in anticipation.

I moved my hips faster, lifting higher and plunging harder, needing to feel every last inch of him inside me. Every sense was hyper aware of what he was doing to my body. The scents, the feel, the taste of him – all converging and growing until it became too much. Once again, I plunged into a complete void of feeling for a split second, every nerve ending in my body frozen as I hovered at the brink.

"Anything," I gasped, holding onto the sense of nothingness as long as I could.

With a single pulse of pure energy, my senses returned in one overwhelming wave. I grunted as my muscles locked down, flexing of their own accord before finally throbbing around him. My hands clenched at his thighs, my fingers digging into the flesh as I surrendered to my own needs. He cried out and bent his legs, bringing his knees up and lifting me off the bed as his hips made one final, prolonged thrust before he stilled beneath me.

I fell forward against his chest as I finally came down from my high, panting and sweaty. The fact that he appeared to be in the same state of blissful exhaustion made my heart thrum with happiness. Slowly, his arms curled around my back, and he sighed contentedly as he wrapped my hair around his hand. Feeling serene and sated, I pressed my lips to the center of the shield on his chest.

"Anything for you."

.

.

"I'm sorry," he whispered against my hipbone, his feather kisses tickling me.

"For what?" I felt exhausted and could barely keep my eyes open. The sun shone brightly, and the noises outside my trailer told me the day had begun for the other carnies. I smiled as I realized my 'day' had begun hours ago - in the quiet of the night.

His fingers swirled a lazy pattern on the skin of my hip. "I hurt you."

I opened my eyes and glanced down at him. He lay between my legs, his chest resting on my pelvis as his head nuzzled along my stomach. His hair was a ridiculous mess, sticking up all over his head in penny-colored curls and wave.

"What are you talking about?" I reached down, smiling, my fingers stroking softly along the shell of his ear. He looked up for a moment, a worried expression on his face.

"I bruised you…here," he kissed a small spot on my hip, "and here," moving just a little to the left, he placed another gentle kiss on my skin, this time flicking his tongue out to lick the area as well, "and one more here." He placed his open mouth against me, sucking the skin carefully between his lips. My hips jerked up toward his face, and he moaned against me.

"You're just going to have to make it up to me." His eyes met mine again, and I grinned as I reached for him. He moved up my body stealthily, his gaze never budging from mine.

"What did you have in mind?" When he was even with my face, he kissed me, his lips hard and demanding as they devoured mine. I was panting when he pulled away, smirking at me.

"Definitely a back rub," I said, rolling over and wiggling into a comfortable position. He chuckled and began running his hands in long strokes from the tops of my thighs to my neck.

"When did you get this?" he asked, his fingers tracing the lettering along my spine.

"Right after I bought my game," I replied, sighing as he massaged my tired muscles.

"What does it mean?"

I peeked over my shoulder, watching him as his eyes followed the motion of his arms. When he reached my shoulders, he noticed my stare and smiled at me.

"It means 'gypsy' in Gaelic." I didn't elaborate, and he didn't ask. His hands continued to rub over me, relaxing me. He waited patiently, the silence growing around us, as I thought about the tattoo on my back. Finally, I sighed and rested my chin on my arms so I could stare at the headboard.

"My mom and dad were just out of high school when they had me. I never knew my grandparents on my mom's side, but I was forced to visit with my dad's parents every year until they died." I waited, collecting my thoughts. Edward's hands never stopped moving along my back, and I welcomed the distraction. "They didn't like my mom - didn't agree with her running away with me after his death. Even before Phil and the carnival, they called her a gypsy. They used the word against her, as if it was some sort of flaw to not want to be tied down to their little town." I felt the tears building and sniffed, trying to hold them back. "I hated going there. They were so mean to her, and she would just sit there and take it. She never stood up for herself to them." Edward's hands moved up to my neck, his long fingers sliding along my skin.

"I know this life isn't perfect," I said quietly. "It's hard work, there's no such thing as a break or a sick day, sometimes you spend more on gas than you make in a weekend, and you have to deal with a lot of crap from ignorant people. But I love it, and more importantly, I _chose_ it." I rolled over, feeling his eyes on my body, heating my flesh.

"I have money and property from my dad's family," I said, watching him. "They weren't rich, but they were middle class and lived beneath their means. They left everything to me because he was an only child, and I was their only grandchild." I reached out, weaving my fingers with his, craving the connection.

"My mom told me I could go as soon as I graduated high school – go live in the house in Washington, go to college somewhere, go start a new life away from the carnival, just…_go_. She knew what this life brought with it – the judgment, the snide remarks from people who can't look past what you do to see who you are."

I pulled his hand toward me, wanting to feel his weight. He complied quickly, twisting to rest his hip on the mattress while our legs tangled together. His skin against mine calmed me, made me feel less pain at the memories flitting through my head.

"I thought about it... about leaving. For two months I imagined what life would be like outside the carnival. But in the end, I chose to stay here - not because it's comfortable or because my mom and dad are here, but because it's a part of me. I have that gypsy spirit, just like my mom does, but unlike her, I'm not ashamed of it. I got the tattoo and bought my game the same week, and I haven't thought about leaving since."

He tensed against me, and I realized belatedly this was not a subject we had broached. He had a life in Chicago, just like I had a life on the roads and highways of the south. My mind spun out of control with thoughts of his leaving, of what would happen when he returned to Chicago in the fall.

"Shhh. Don't worry, chéadsearc," he whispered, his arms circling underneath me. I clung to his shoulders, wishing he could stay here with me, in our own little bubble, forever. He slowly rolled us so we were lying on our sides facing each other. "We'll figure everything out; I promise." He kissed the tip of my nose before snuggling into my neck.

"I just found you," I whispered, the emotions of the past twelve hours swirling around me like dried leaves on the wind.

"And you'll never lose me." His hands slid over my back, pulling me against him and kneading my muscles along the way. I sighed and relaxed into him, placing kisses and small bites on his neck. He groaned when I stroked my hands down his back and gripped his ass.

Rolling on top of me, he slid between my legs and began moving against me. Our previous activities had left me feeling swollen and sore, but that did nothing to quell the desire I had for him. I wanted him again, wanted to feel our bodies connected and sliding together. I wanted to know he was mine, even if only for the moment.

His hands came to rest on my face, holding me in place as he kissed me sweetly. "I could never leave my heart behind."

I pulled him against me, needing him. He entered me as I began to cry softly, the emotions of the day winning against my restraint. We moved together slowly, languidly, and he kissed away my tears as he whispered words of reassurance. Words like _no doubts_ and _my pulse_, _sweetheart_ and _always_.

.

.

"What time is it?" I asked. We had wrapped our bodies around each other under the sheet, cotton and skin tangling together comfortably. He lifted his head from the pillow and looked over my shoulder.

"Almost ten." I sighed and snuggled further into his chest. We had cocooned ourselves in a comfortable, private bubble for almost twelve hours, and I wasn't ready to leave it. He chuckled as I clung to him, though I noticed he held onto me just as tightly.

"C'mon, chéadsearc," he said, his lips against my forehead. "People are going to want to play your game soon." He rolled away from me, but I just buried my face in a pillow and sighed.

"I'd rather stay here and play your game," I murmured. Edward laughed and smacked my ass…hard.

"Ow!" I rose up on my elbows to glare at him. "That was a little rough." He crawled back across the mattress, leaning over to kiss the offending spot.

"Better?" He grinned, looking roguish as he rested his cheek on my hip. I just smiled at him and shook my head. "Good, now get up. We need to shower."

He rose from the bed and walked toward the bathroom door. My eyes followed, tracking the graceful movements of his naked body. There was something so fluid about the way he walked, so sensual about the way the muscles rippled under his skin.

"Are you going to lay there and stare, or are you going to join me in here?" he asked with a smile, standing in front of the bathroom door. I grinned, rolling out of bed quickly and rushing to stand in front of him. He never moved, just watching me until I was close enough to place my chin on his chest.

"Yeah, I guess a shower sounds good." I placed a wet kiss against his shield knot, grabbing both of his hands and pulling him into the tiny bathroom. "If you're good, maybe I'll even let you wash my back."

.

.

"By the way, I thought you said you had three tattoos," Edward called from the kitchen.

I pulled a sheer, purple tunic over my tank top, wanting to feel girly and maybe a little sexy. The day still had a sensual vibe to it, and I intended to enjoy it while it lasted. I decided to leave my hair down, the long strands tickling my neck and arms as I moved.

I turned to find Edward standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. He was watching me, a small smile on his face.

"You look beautiful," he said softly. I walked over to him and stretched up to place a kiss against his chin.

"Thank you. And I do have three tattoos."

"I only saw two," he replied, his eyes running over my body as if searching for the missing ink.

I shook my head and turned around. "The one on my back is technically two. Look again now that there's light."

He lifted my shirt to reveal the script letters. The large tattoo started in the middle of my back and ended just above my waist, each letter about three inches high.

"I still don't see," he said from behind me.

"Look at the line under the text." I felt his fingers trace the thick line that curved in a shallow S. Knowing he still may be missing it, I said, "Look closely." I felt his hair brush against my skin, and my body broke out in goose bumps.

"What piece is this?" he asked, sounding awed. I smiled when I realized he saw the tiny details finally. The thick line was actually five smaller lines running from one end to the other. Small dots, both solid and hollow, sat strategically along the length of it.

"It's four bars of _Appalachian Springs_ by Aaron Copland." I turned slowly as he stood. He wrapped his arms around my waist, not speaking, just watching me. I shrugged, suddenly embarrassed. "It's my mom's favorite. I added it after I bought my cabin."

His hands landed gently against my face, and he held me in place, leaning down to brush his lips against mine.

"It's a beautiful piece of music," he whispered. I smiled, and his expression mirrored mine.

"C'mon," I said finally. It was just after eleven, and I knew we needed to leave if we wanted to grab a bite before we had to prepare the booth for the day. "Let's go to a carnival."

**xXxXx**

As a special treat for the holiday weekend, Mama C was cooking up a storm this Sunday morning. We had just sat down with plates full of barbecued chicken, fried squash, and fresh, sliced tomatoes when Alice came barreling through the crowd.

"Where the hell have you two been?" she demanded. In her long, green cotton skirt and gauzy, white shirt, she looked the part of the traveling gypsy. She had lined her eyes in heavy black liner, making them appear even larger than normal in her small face.

"And good morning to you, too, cousin," Edward said, taking a bite of his chicken and moaning quietly.

"Screw the niceties, Edward. Have either of you seen my mom yet today? She didn't come home last night." I shook my head, looking between the two of them.

"We were in the trailer all morning," I said. She rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips.

"Really?" she asked, drawing the word out. I glanced at Edward and grinned goofily at him. "What exactly were the two of you doing in that trailer of yours?"

"Oh, you know," I said, cocking my head to the right, still staring at Edward. "A little of this, a little of that…a whole lot of the other." I giggled, unable to stop myself as Edward chuckled and reached for my hand. Fingers entwined, we both looked up at Alice, who seemed as if she couldn't decide whether to congratulate or scold us.

"Jeez, you two are of no use to me," she said finally, obviously trying to hide her smile. "All right, go back to your this-that-and-the-other. I'm going to try to track down my mom."

"Do you need any help?" Edward asked, finally looking a little concerned. "Should we call the police or something?"

Alice waved her hand, dismissing his suggestion to involve the authorities. "No. She chose to leave the grounds with Carlisle, and Demetri swore she was safe with him. I'm just worried because she seemed so upset yesterday when she saw him."

"What happened after you guys ran off?" I asked. Alice sat down on the bench next to Edward and picked up a piece of his squash.

"I don't really know." She shrugged and took a bite, chewing daintily before continuing. "She was running away from him, and he was chasing her, yelling for her to stop and that he just wanted to talk. Demetri stopped me from following them - said they needed some time alone to work things out, though I have no idea what things those would be. I mean, how does she even know this Carlisle? She's never mentioned him; I'd remember a name like that.

"Then Demetri got all five-oh with me – wanted to know my name, my birth date... he even asked to see my license! Luckily Phil came by and stopped the inquisition, otherwise I was worried he was going to ask me my bra size." Alice motioned to her chest, Edward snorted a laugh, and I chuckled. "Phil and I tracked Mom and Carlisle down, but she said she was going with him to talk."

"Maybe you should call Demetri at the station," Edward said. "See if he's working, and let him now she didn't come home last night."

Alice nodded. "Yeah, that might be a good idea." She threw the remaining bit of squash back on Edward's plate, looking disgusted. "I don't know how you can eat this crap. I'd kill for some eel right about now."

"I doubt there are any decent sushi places around here, my little gnome," I said, wiping the barbecue sauce on my fingers onto a napkin. "Though we'll definitely go to Nobu when we're in Dallas."

"Ugh, now I'm going to be craving their black cod in miso and that mochi ice cream you love so much," she said, pouting. I laughed, noticing Edward's amused yet slightly confused expression.

"Nobu is a sushi restaurant in Dallas we both love. We try to go anytime we're out that way."

"I didn't think the carnival was doing shows that far west this year," he said, taking a sip of his tea.

I shook my head. "They're not. We do a girls' weekend away every year for our birthdays, and this year we're going to Dallas."

"Yes, dear cousin of mine," Alice said, standing. "She won't be around the third weekend in September, so you'll just have to do your this-that-and-the-other without her." She looked around, zeroing in on something behind me. "There's Emmett. I need to talk to him before the gates open. I'll see you two later."

I laughed as she dashed off, glancing over at Edward. He smiled and shook his head.

"We should hurry," I said finally, noticing the time on my phone. "The gates open in twenty minutes."

**xXxXx**

Sunday afternoon was extremely busy. From the time the gates opened until forty minutes after they closed, the patrons stood no less than three deep in front of my game. Renee walked over around five so we could take a break. Edward strolled off as soon as she entered the booth, saying he needed to make a phone call. I hurried off to the group of port-o-potties at the end of the midway, bumping into Alice when I reached the line.

"Hey, how's business going this weekend?" I asked while checking emails on my phone.

"It sucks," she replied. I looked up at her, surprised by the scowl on her face. "Apparently there's some church in town whose members believe psychics and tarot cards are from the devil. The few people that dared to enter the 'den of demonology' are so nervous I can't get a good read on them. It's ridiculous."

"I'm sorry. Do you think you'll at least break even for the weekend?"

She snorted. "No way. This carnival will cost me money by the time everything's said and done." She shook her head as we moved forward in line. "I know we can't all have bumper weekends, but damn, this one's going to sting."

We reached the front of the line and each moved to an open port-o-potty. I met her again at the hand-washing station.

"You know," I said as I rubbed the waterless cleanser between my hands. "Edward and I are going away for a couple of days after this show."

She glanced up at me, smirking. "Really? And where will you two be holing up, if I may ask?"

I tried hard not to grin. "I don't know; we haven't talked about that yet. But it'll be two days of just us, alone - unreachable." She squealed, attracting the attention of the other people around us.

"Shhh," I hissed. "People are staring."

"Sorry," she whispered, looking sheepish. "I'm just so happy for you two."

I grinned, unable to hold it back any longer. "I know, and I'm happy for us, too. But this whole two-day-away thing brings up a small problem you may be able to help with." We turned and walked slowly up the midway, weaving through the crowd. "I planned to pay someone to move and store my trailer, figuring Edward and I could take his car instead. With you having such a bad weekend, I thought maybe you'd want to drive it to Ashland for me instead. I'd pay you the going mileage rate, plus what I would have paid to have it stored. You could live in it for the week and-"

Before I could complete my offer, her arms were around my neck.

"Yes! Absolutely," she said, releasing me. "Thank you, Bella! That might not completely make up for this crap weekend, but it should at least give me enough to maybe break even."

"I'm so glad you'll do this. I didn't really want to store the Jayco after what happened last time." We both grew silent, our thoughts obviously going to the door lock incident.

"Do you have any idea who broke into your trailer?" she asked as we reached my booth.

"No." I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest. "The breaking in itself isn't that bad, but the fact that whoever it was rigged the lock so they could come and go as they please puts me on edge." I glanced around at the crowd surrounding us, feeling off balance from the lack of discernible scents in the air. The bigger the crowd, the less I could sense, and the less I could sense, the more uneasy I felt. "Speaking of worrisome things, have you talked to Esme yet today?"

"I have," Edward said, sneaking up from behind me. He wrapped an arm around my waist, bending to whisper in my ear, "Missed you, beautiful." He placed a soft kiss to my neck then stood again, pulling my body tightly against his. I leaned my head back against his shoulder

"You saw my mom?" Alice asked, looking between the two of us.

"Yeah. I ran into her and Carlisle over by the lemonade stand."

I watched Alice's jaw drop in shock, and I giggled. Edward started rocking me slightly back and forth as we stood in front of my booth. I could feel rather than hear the low rumble of his groan as I pressed against his hips, wiggling my ass just a bit.

"She was with Carlisle?" Alice asked. I wiggled more as his hands came to rest on my hips. "Who the hell is this guy?" She hurried away from us, weaving in and out of the crowd.

Edward leaned over my shoulder again, biting my ear lobe as his hands slid up to my waist. "Tease," he whispered in my ear.

"It's only teasing if I don't intend to follow through." I reached around his hip to pat his ass, smiling. He chuckled as he turned me in his arms.

"I would say 'please continue,' but I think your mom is getting a little impatient." He placed a gentle kiss to my lips before we both moved toward the booth. "I was wondering if you had any objection to me planning our break from the carnival."

"You mean our two days away?" I asked, smiling. He nodded, looking at me nervously as I shrugged. "Sure. I figured you'd want some help since you're not familiar with the area, but if you want to plan it all I'm fine with that."

He gave me a quick kiss on the nose before grinning widely. "Great! I've got almost everything planned out. I just have to go make one more quick phone call to confirm the details." He walked three steps away before turning back around. I smiled at him, motioning with my hand for him to go. He grinned at me again and said, "Five minutes," before disappearing through the crowd.

"Someone light a fire under that boy's ass?" Renee asked as I joined her in the booth.

"No. He's just excited about making plans for the week." I moved around her, smiling at the patrons as they prepared themselves for the next round.

"Ah, you mean your two days away?" she asked. I glanced over at her, and she grinned. "Do you need any help with his car or your trailer?" She handed me the money from her apron and moved to exit through the back.

"No. Alice is going to drive my truck and trailer to Ashland and live in it until we get back. She's had a pretty rough weekend, sales-wise." I announced the beginning of the next round, and Renee waited patiently in the doorway to the back.

"I overheard a few complaints about her readings," she said. I glanced at her, noticing a concerned look on her face. "You know Phil and I could take care of your trailer, right?" I nodded before giving her a quick hug.

"I do know, and thank you. But Alice needs this, and I think you and Phil need some time alone together. He was really worried about you after the accident."

She smiled softly, looking ten years younger and completely smitten. "Yeah, he's been very attentive. Okay, baby girl." She leaned forward and placed a quick kiss to my cheek. "Go give away a prize. I'll see you later tonight." I nodded at her before turning to address my patrons.

"The gentleman at position number four is the big winner! Thanks for playing, and come again; there's a winner every round."

**xXxXx**

"I don't think I've ever been this tired," I said as I leaned on Edward. He wiggled the doorknob of my trailer to make sure it was still locked before he took the keys from me.

"Well, we really didn't get much sleep last night," he said with a grin. When he opened the door, I walked past him quickly, looking over my shoulder as I moved toward the bedroom.

"And whose fault was that?" I asked, teasing. He laughed as he engaged both locks on the door, twisting the handle to make sure it held.

"I'm not complaining; I'm just stating a fact." He was suddenly directly behind me, his arms wrapping around my waist and his lips attached to my neck. "Why don't you go shower. I have to make a phone call." He kissed my neck one more time before rubbing his hand over my ass and giving me a gentle shove toward the bedroom.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?"

"Not yet," he replied. I collected my pajamas and walked back out to the sitting area, glaring at Edward as he sat on the sofa. He looked up and chuckled before I turned into the bathroom. "Tomorrow, I promise. I just want to make sure everything's perfect before I tell you."

I leaned out the door. "We could park the trailer at some roadside park and spend the two days in the bedroom for all I care," I said. He smiled at me, holding his phone in his hand.

"Please. Just let me do this for you," he said. I smiled and shook my head in exasperation.

"Fine, but next time I'll be the one making all the plans." I heard him laughing as I shut the door and turned on the taps.

Fifteen minutes later, I walked out of the bathroom, my wet hair wound into a bun on the top of my head and a red silk robe wrapped around my body. I wanted to play, to tease him, and I hoped he'd be willing to let me.

Edward was lying on my bed, talking on his phone. He smiled at me when I caught his eye. "Let me ask Bella," he said. I cocked my head and as he mouthed 'Alice' and 'dinner' before returning to his conversation. "I don't really see why not."

I smiled as I turned off the light in the bathroom and walked into the bedroom, swinging my hips. Moving around the bed slowly, I lit two linen-scented candles and then moved back to the doorway. Edward looked at me curiously, though he kept a smile on his face while listening to Alice. I turned off the overhead light, the glow from the candles and the moon outside illuminating the room softly.

As Edward watched, I released the knot holding my robe together and shrugged my shoulders. The slick fabric fell in a pool of red at my feet, leaving me standing before him in nothing but the red lace bra and panties I had snuck into the bathroom. The sheer fabric hugged my hips; a bow tied at the base of my spine and the back of the bra the only adornment on the simple set.

"Change of plans," he said quickly into the phone, his voice rough. "We're staying in tonight." He pressed a button, then tossed the phone to the floor, his eyes never leaving my form.

"Jesus, you're beautiful," he said, smiling. My heart pounded against my chest at the sound of his voice - warm and comforting, like aged leather. He raised both arms in invitation, and I took one step toward the bed before kneeling on the edge.

"You don't want to go to dinner?" I asked quietly. He shook his head slowly, keeping his eyes on mine.

"Are you sure you'd rather stay in?" I placed my hands on the mattress, crawling toward him an inch at a time. He nodded, a slow smile curling the corners of his lips. I slowly threw one of my legs over his at the knees, straddling him and placing my hands on his hips.

"Good, because there's no place," I leaned over him, placing a kiss to the middle of his abdomen, "I'd rather be," I moved lower, biting a spot below his navel through his shirt, "than right," I pushed his shirt up and licked from the waistband of his jeans to the bottom of his sternum, "here."

His arms curled under mine, yanking me up the rest of his body. I squeaked in surprise before squeezing my legs around his hips and pulling him into me. I ground against him, smiling as he groaned his approval.

"Please," I moaned. I panted as his hands moved up and down my bare back, sliding under the bows on my back with each pass.

"Anything." He moved one hand to the side of my neck, his thumb running along my jaw. I gasped as he rolled us so I lay underneath him, resting between my legs. He kissed me softly; lips and tongue caressing mine as he ground against me. "Anything for you."

.

.

.


	16. Outsiders

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

.

I woke on Monday feeling warm and peaceful. Caramel-scented clouds wrapped me in their sweetness, and the room glowed with a honey yellow light from the rising sun. I lay pressed against Edward's back, my arm thrown across his waist and my leg resting in between his. He snored lightly, the sound barely discernible over the rustle of the breeze flowing through the open windows. I smiled at the happiness flooding my heart and kissed the knotwork between his shoulder blades before carefully rolling away.

I would have loved to stay in bed all morning, just breathing in Edward's calming scent, but I knew that would have to wait for another day. If I wanted to be ready for a ten-hour carnival, plus a little vacation afterward, I needed to get an early start to the day.

I washed and dressed quietly, not wanting to wake Edward. He looked so peaceful, so calm, as he lay on his stomach and hugged his pillow. The sheet had slipped down to his waist, exposing the planes of his naked back, the dark ink standing out against the pale skin. I lightly trailed my fingers along the pattern to his shoulder, smiling when he moaned softly at my touch. Kissing his cheek softly, I ran one hand through his tousled hair before placing a note next to the bed so he would know where to find me when he woke. When my fingers gripped the handle of the door, my eyes traveled back to the handsome man in my bed, needing to see him one last time before I opened the door and stepped outside.

The air already dripped heavy with humidity, and I instantly worried about Edward's ability to make it through the evening. Ten hours in the heat, standing on the hard asphalt, would make the healthiest person ache; add in his injuries, and I could guarantee Edward would be in a lot of pain. I hated to think of him suffering because of me. An idea to make sure he took a break from the booth struck me, and I sent Alice a quick text asking her to call me when she woke up.

I walked across the camp quickly to the box truck that housed my prize stock. Seven booth owners shared the truck, including Phil, Mr. Cope and me. We chipped in on the truck last year after the Newtons stopped providing prize storage. Other carnies kept their prizes in their truck or trailer, but I went through too many in a weekend to make that a viable option.

I pulled the keys from my pocket and inserted one into the lock on the back door of the truck, turning it easily. The handle felt hot as I pulled on it, no doubt from the morning sun now warming my back. Three hard pulls later, I blew out a frustrated breath and stepped back, the door still closed securely. I moved to try again but paused when I noticed the subtle aroma of mischief floating nearby.

"Here, let me," Emmett said, moving behind me before I could turn. He placed one arm around my back, his hand resting on my hip and the other on the handle. His chest pressed into one side of my back, and his leg moved against my ass. I stiffened, unsure why he was standing so close to me, as he tugged upward, the door finally rising with his effort. Smacking my hip roughly, he said, "There you go, princess."

I spun quickly, prepared to tear into him as anger and irritation dominated my emotions. They vanished the second I saw his face. His eyes, normally bright and filled with light, appeared dull and bloodshot. A good two days worth of scruff darkened his jaw, and his hair desperately needed washing. He looked dirty, tired, and like he'd aged ten years in the span of two days.

And he absolutely reeked of despair.

"What's going on with you, Em?" I asked, worried about my friend. He snorted and looked away, placing his hands in his pockets.

"You don't want to know." He glanced at me before sighing and running his hands through his hair. "You haven't seen Mikey, have you?" I shook my head, and he groaned as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Lemme know if you do, okay? He hasn't… he just needs to come home."

"Yeah, of course," I said quietly, nodding. He looked around the area once more before walking toward the carnival grounds, not saying goodbye. I watched him leave, each heavy step causing my heart to pulse with concern.

"Oh, and Bella?" he hollered, turning back around. "Don't go off on your own anymore. You and Alice… try to stick together."

"Why?" I yelled back, taking a step in his direction. He shook his head and backed away, stopping me in my tracks. "Where's Mikey, Emmett?"

His face fell, and his eyes appeared to looking behind me as he tried to avoid my gaze. "I don't know."

He turned his back to me, moving away once more as I asked, "How long has he been gone?"

He paused, dropping his head forward. My heart broke as I watched his shoulders shake, knowing quiet sobs were causing the motion. I moved quickly, running up to him. He turned as I approached, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. His head rested on top of mine, his arms snaking around my back to pull me against him.

"He left Friday night to check on the sound system. We haven't heard from him since." His voice sounded shaky, too filled with pain. My blood turned to ice in my veins as fear for my family gripped my heart.

"What can I do?" I asked softly. He shook his head against the top of mine, one arm patting my shoulder as he pulled out of my grasp.

"Nothing," he replied with a sigh. His eyes met mine, drowning in a sea of sadness and pain. I frowned, knowing he would take on all the stress of his missing brother before he would even consider asking for help. So stubborn.

"Just stick with Edward, okay? Tell him I'll fucking kill him if he doesn't keep you safe." He placed a quick kiss to the top of my head, his fingers trailing lightly down my cheek, before hurrying away.

I stood, frozen, watching him leave. Mikey may have acted like a twit at times, but I never would have taken him for the run-away-from-home type. He loved the carnival and loved his family. His actions hadn't always been the most responsible, but leaving without informing someone of where he was going seemed too far out of character for him.

I pulled out my phone and called Esme as I hopped into the back of the truck, knowing she had access to the one person in this town who seemed not to judge us. Emmett wouldn't be happy when I told him what I'd done, but he'd have to get over it. Mike Newton was family, and I would do anything for my family.

"Good morning, Bella."

"Hey, Esme. You wouldn't happen to know how to get in touch with Carlisle Cullen, would you?"

**xXxXx**

I stood on the counter of my game booth, hanging stuffed animals from the grid on the ceiling. This shipment contained a bunch of pastel teddy bears, which were always a huge hit with the teenage patrons. I made sure to hang one of each color at the front so people passing could see them. I kneeled down, stretching to reach the lavender bear I had set on the stool, when I suddenly felt two hands grip my waist.

"Let me help you," Edward said, reaching around me. "Where do you want him?"

"There," I pointed, "between the orange frog and the pink dinosaur." I sat back on my heels and watched as he stretched to hook the bear in the correct spot. "Good morning, by the way." He smiled at me over his arm, his green eyes appearing darker against his bright blue t-shirt.

"Good morning." He clipped the bear in place, then dropped his arm to wrap around my waist, pulling me toward him. "You broke one of the house rules, by the way."

I grasped his shirt at the shoulders, leaning in to run my nose along his chin. "What rule?" I whispered, closing my eyes. His hands gripped my hips tightly, and I shuffled forward a bit so my knees rested on the edge of the counter. His scent was always so strong under his jaw. I lost myself for a moment in the sweet, dewy essence, loving the way he shivered when I breathed against his skin.

"You, uh…" He took a deep breath and dropped his head to rub his cheek against mine. "You left the bed before I was awake." He kissed the side of my mouth softly. "I'm pretty sure that's against the if-you-fall-asleep-in-my-bed rule."

I smiled against his lips. "You remembered the rule." I flicked my tongue along his bottom lip slowly, enjoying the taste of him.

"That's one rule I wouldn't forget," he whispered as he slid both hands around to grip me by the back of my thighs and pulled. Our lips met roughly, and I groaned when my tongue finally slid along his. Green fire blazed behind my eyes, burning down through my body as I pressed myself against him. I shifted up onto my knees, leaning over him while I gripped his hair and tugged. His resulting groan told me he liked it, so I did it again.

Our kisses slowly turned from passionate to affectionate as the sounds of the other carnies around us increased. We smiled as we took turns placing tiny, chaste pecks against the other's lips. I ran my fingertips along the angles of his face, enjoying the feel of his breath against my hands. He sighed, closing his eyes and giving my fingers one final kiss before he grabbed my hands.

"Come on," he said, helping me climb down from the counter. "Let's go get some breakfast." I stepped away from him, heading toward the end of the midway.

"You go ahead," I said, smiling. "I'm going to use the restroom, but I'll catch up with you in a few." He shook his head as he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward him.

"I'll walk with you, then we can head back over to camp together." I shrugged but didn't argue, remembering my conversation with Emmett earlier this morning. We strolled slowly down the midway, neither of us speaking. The silence didn't feel heavy or awkward, though; it was comfortable… calm.

After using the port-o-potty and cleaning my hands with the waterless soap, I hurried back to Edward. I found him pacing across the midway, his hand gripping his hair.

"Hey," I said cautiously as I approached. He stopped pacing, looking relieved when he saw me.

"Hey." He leaned down and kissed my forehead as he pulled me against his side.

"What's going on?" I laughed lightly, and he squeezed me tighter. He sighed as we began walking back toward camp, his arm still wrapped around me.

"The police are here," he said, looking down at me in concern. "Alice called this morning to let me know."

"And you rushed over to the midway to find me, right?" I asked. He nodded, never breaking eye contact. I smiled softly to calm him. "It's okay. I hoped Demetri wouldn't bring the cruiser, but maybe that's his only car." Edward looked confused as we made the turn into the ride alley.

"I called the Chief this morning." I moved away from his hold, choosing to lace our fingers together instead. "Emmett told me Mike's been missing since Friday night. I knew the Newtons would never call the police for help, and normally I would agree with them. But Demetri doesn't seem to judge us for being carnies." I shrugged. "I get the feeling he's trustworthy."

"Why wouldn't they call the police if their son was missing?" he asked. I sighed in response, hating the reality of my profession at times like this.

"We've run into a lot of Officer Kelly's over the years. They think we're thieves, drug dealers… prostitutes." I said the last word quietly but didn't miss the fire of anger in his eyes when he heard it. I gave him a sad smile and squeezed his hand tighter in mine. "Mike's not old enough to legally be on his own but too old for the police not to assume he's a runaway. Even if he weren't a carnie, a lot of people would bury the report under things they decided were more important. But Mike wouldn't run – I know it. Calling Demetri was the only thing I could do to help."

We walked the final hundred yards toward camp in silence, each of us wrapped up in our own thoughts. As we came to the edge of the little camper village, and I saw the shark-like shape of the police cruiser parked outside the Newton's mobile home, Edward stopped.

"They're not going to be happy you called the Chief, are they?" he asked, glancing at me nervously. I shook my head.

"Probably not." The sounds of sirens cut through the heavy air, grating my already-exposed nerves. Neither of us moved as a second cruiser pulled up along the first, two officers stepping out and walking to the Newton's door. Other carnies stood watching, curiosity winning out over their responsibilities.

Emmett opened the door, anger evident on his face. His eyes found mine as he allowed the officers to enter, and I thought I saw a trace of a smile before he ducked back inside.

"Then again, if Demetri takes them seriously, they might be thankful for the extra help," I said, hoping I was right.

**xXxXx**

Alice joined us for breakfast in my trailer. I made a quick meal of fried egg sandwiches and fresh peaches while listening to the two of them argue about some band I had never heard of. I found myself smiling while I turned the eggs, loving how easily Edward seemed to fit into my life.

Breakfast continued along the same course – Alice and Edward joking and arguing like siblings while I jumped in to offer an opinion now and again. It was funny, relaxed. Once I finished eating, I washed the dishes and started taking stock of my kitchen.

"I wish I had more time today. I'd like to go to the grocery store," I said, looking in the refrigerator. I closed it quickly and moved to open the cabinet over the sink. "I can't believe how empty my pantry is."

Alice snorted behind me. "That's not a pantry; it's a cupboard – and a small one at that." She stood and walked to the sink, bumping me with her hip to get me to move out of her way. I bumped her back, frowning.

"Don't knock it, my little garden gnome," I said, moving to sit next to Edward on the dinette bench while she washed her plate. "You'll be living here for the next few days." Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close as he rested his forehead against my temple.

"Yeah, yeah," she said flippantly, turning around and leaning against the cabinet. "Make a list of what you need, and I'll hit the grocery store once I get to Ashland."

"Thanks. I'd appreciate that." I reached behind me to grab a pen and notebook from the entertainment center, then started writing a list of staples. Edward placed a quick kiss to my cheek, and I smiled.

"You should probably pack before we go back to the grounds," he said, his breath tickling me. I turned toward him, my smile widening as I saw the excited glimmer in his eyes.

"I think you should tell me where we're going before I start packing, don't you?" I raised an eyebrow at him, and he chuckled softly.

"You still haven't decided where you're taking her?" Alice asked.

"Of course I've decided. I just haven't told her yet," Edward said, grinning. I pretended to smack his arm, and he leaned back to dodge the blow. "I already bought the plane tickets and everything." I froze, knowing my eyes had to be as big as saucers.

"Plane tickets?" I asked. He nodded slowly, and I felt my heart begin to race in excitement. "Edward, where are we going?" He leaned forward, brushing my nose with his.

"Chicago." He said the word with an exaggerated Chicago accent, lengthening the middle syllable comically. I squealed, and he laughed as I threw my arms around his neck.

"Are you serious?" I asked, and he nodded as he pulled back to look at me.

"Absolutely," he said, obviously excited. "My neighbor's boyfriend works for the Cubs, and he invited me to a party at Wrigley Field while the team's on the road. I thought it would be fun to show you my city, and this party gave me an excuse to do it right away." He kissed my nose softly. "I can't wait to take you to the happiest place on earth."

I cocked my head to the side in confusion. "I thought that was Disneyland?"

He shook his head slowly, suddenly looking very serious. "Not to a Cubs fan."

I laughed and turned to look at Alice. She still leaned against the sink, though she had dropped her head and was rubbing her temples.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me," I said, smiling. "I would've figured you'd be bouncing off the walls knowing he was taking me to Chicago. You didn't even give me a hint!"

"I'm not your personal crystal ball, Bella," she spat, looking up and glaring at me. My face fell, her ire wiping away the grin, and I recoiled slightly.

"Alice," Edward said, but I spoke over him.

"I'm sorry," I said. Edward placed his hands on my shoulders, massaging gently as my eyes filled with tears. "I didn't mean to-"

"Just forget it," she interrupted, her voice still angry though not nearly as strong as before. "I'm going to finish setting up for the day. I'll see you two later."

She strode out the door, slamming it behind her, before I could even finish saying her name. After staring after her for a few seconds, I leaned back against Edward's chest and sighed.

"I didn't mean to upset her," I said quietly. Alice and I had gotten into a few tussles over the years, but we'd never walked away from each other in anger. We always worked it out – neither of us liked to let the bad feelings linger and taint the day.

Edward rubbed his hands up and down my arms. "I know that, and I'm sure she does, too. She's seemed a little on edge ever since we got back from Tennessee."

My heart broke a little at his words. If he was right, then for three days she hadn't been acting like herself, and I hadn't noticed. As I thought about it, I realized I hadn't really spoken to her much since my phone call when I arrived at my cabin. Before Trion, we would talk to each other multiple times a day, and I would spend most of my free time with her. Between the accident, working the carnival, and my relationship with Edward, the days had just flown past. I mentally scolded myself for letting my friendship with Alice become something easily brushed aside.

"Fuck," I said, rubbing my hand over my forehead. "I've got to talk to her." I stood from the bench, but Edward grabbed my hand before I could walk to the door. I turned back to him, wishing he would hurry so I could follow Alice.

"Why don't you give her a little time," he said. I opened my mouth to argue, and he held up one hand to stop me. "Just an hour or so. She's angry, and you're obviously hurt right now. I don't think that's a good combination for a productive conversation."

I sighed, realizing Edward was right – if I ran after her now, we'd probably end up fighting and not solving anything. As much as I wanted to follow her and work through whatever was upsetting her, I knew I couldn't.

"Fine," I said, releasing his hand. "I'll go pack for our trip, but then I'm tracking her down." I walked brusquely toward the bedroom, pulling my small suitcase from the wardrobe as I passed. In my head, I worked to remember every interaction I'd had with Alice since I arrived in New London. It saddened me to realize how little time I had spent with her this weekend, and now I was preparing to leave her for another couple of days.

"You're going to need a dress," Edward said as he walked into the bedroom behind me.

"Why would I need a dress?" I asked, still distracted by my thoughts of Alice.

"Because I'm going to take you out on a proper date while we're in Chicago." I startled, having not realized how close he was. His breath was warm against my neck, and he trailed his fingers lightly up and down my arms. "I want to show you what I, and my hometown, have to offer."

I felt the goose bumps rise on my arms, and my breath hitched at the tone of his voice. It was warm, gravelly… seductive. His lips brushed against the side of my neck, and I leaned back against his chest.

"I'd like that," I whispered. He kissed my neck once more, then slid his hand along my side to end on my hip, squeezing it lightly.

"Good, now get packed," he said as he backed away from me. "The sooner you finish, the sooner we can head over to the grounds."

I nodded, torn between my emotions. On one side, I was hurt by the way Alice had snapped at me and disappointed in myself for not paying more attention to her. On the other side, I was excited about my trip to Chicago with Edward.

I'd also have to admit that I was a bit nervous. This trip was much more than just a visit to me. This would be my first introduction to his world, and I wondered if there was any way I could find a place in it.

I sighed deeply and ran my fingers through my hair. _One step at a time,_ I thought, as I unzipped the suitcase and started opening drawers.

Pack first, Alice second, worry third.

**xXxXx**

Edward insisted on walking with me to the grounds, so after I finished packing what I could, we walked hand-in-hand across the camp. We spotted Emmett talking with Demetri by his cruiser, and I pulled Edward over to the pair. Demetri noticed us first.

"Good morning, Bella, Edward." He shook Edward's outstretched hand and tipped his hat to me. I nodded to him, my eyes locked with Emmett's. He stared at me, every muscle tensed as if preparing for a battle.

"Any news on Mike?" Edward asked, looking between the two. Emmett flinched at his brother's name, and I quickly reached my other hand toward him. He looked between Edward, my outstretched hand, and me a couple of times before he finally grabbed it, squeezing my fingers roughly.

"Nothing yet," Demetri replied, taking off his hat and leaning against the car. "I've got three of my best officers canvassing the camp, but it seems a lot of people are choosing not to talk to us." He shook his head, obviously frustrated.

"Why are they refusing?" I asked, glancing between the three men around me. "This is about Mikey; I'm sure once they know-"

"It's not our guys, Bells," Emmett interrupted. His voice was dark, angry, and I squeezed his hand in support. "It's those other carnies. The food vendors have been pretty cooperative, but the fucking ride jockeys are all keeping their mouths closed tighter than a hundred-year-old virgin."

He let go of my hand and walked a few steps away, keeping his back to us. I released Edward's and followed him, hearing the murmur of conversation behind me.

"Hey," I said, walking around him so I could see his face. He looked so sad, so heartbreakingly broken. "We'll find him, Em."

"We'd better," he replied. He sighed loudly and ran his hands through his hair. "I'm real sorry."

I furrowed my brow, questioning. "What are you sorry for?" He looked into my eyes for a moment, his face unreadable.

"For being a dick to you these past few days," he said, finally. I shrugged, more than ready to bury any animosity between us.

"I understand. I'm sure you've been really stressed because of Mike." I glanced to the side of him, my eyes meeting Edward's. He grinned at me, and I smiled softly in return. Emmett noticed my distraction and looked back and forth between the two of us.

"It's not just about Mikey," he said quietly. I moved my eyes back to his and found him staring at me intensely. "I don't like him, Bella." He glanced over his shoulder at Edward. "I know you're all wrapped up in some weird infatuation, but you need to back up and really _see_ him."

I shook my head, pursing my lips as anger flooded my body. "I don't know what you're talking about." He lunged forward, grabbing my bicep and squeezing…hard. His face was directly in front of mine, his coffee-scented breath washing over me.

"He's not one of us," he hissed. "He may come from carnie stock, but he's not a carnie. Two days…that's all it took for him to show his true colors and call you a freak. Then he goes chasing after you and now everything's all peachy? No way, I don't buy it."

"Everything all right over here?" Edward's concerned voice cut through the tension, and I pulled my arm out of Emmett's grasp.

"Yeah," I replied as I moved toward him. "Everything's just _peachy_." I glared at Emmett as I wrapped my arm around Edward's waist. "Come on, let's go find Alice."

I began walking around Emmett, noticing the two men staring at each other as we passed him.

"Leopards don't change their spots, Bella," Emmett said, still staring at Edward. "You might want to look for them before you spread your legs again." I spun, the fury racing through my veins bringing the stinging smell of ozone with it. I felt the static in the air lift the hair on my arms and quickly released Edward. He was moving toward Emmett before I could even open my mouth in response.

"What's your problem?" Edward growled, bumping into Emmett purposefully.

"You," Emmett yelled, pushing Edward back. "You're my fucking problem. You come in here all high and mighty, thinking you're better than us, and start fucking around with Bella's emotions."

"I was never fu-"

"What?" Emmett said, laughing darkly and interrupting Edward. "You think you're the first pretty boy to come strolling through here? You think there haven't been a hundred more assholes just like you, trying to tame the saucy little gypsy? Most of 'em are at least up-front about what they want. They come in, try to get in her pants, and walk away when the carnival leaves." He stepped toward Edward, bringing a finger up into his face. "But not you. You actually try to convince her you love her. You want to pretend as if you two have a future together after this summer. Well, lemme give you a hint, _Edward_." He said the name like something vile had crossed his tongue. "Bella's a carnie. She's not going to just follow you back to Chicago and settle into some idealized version of suburban life. She's going to pack it all up at the end of season, like she always does, and move onto something else." He glanced between the two of us, obviously still angry as Edward seethed in front of him. "And it's going to break her heart when you tell her you don't want to move along with her."

"You don't know what you're talking about," I said angrily.

"Oh, really?" Emmett asked, sneering at Edward. "You think you know him? You think he's told you everything about his life in Chicago?" He glanced over at me, and I felt my anger fade as uncertainty fluttered at the edges of my mind. "So, then you know all about the Masen family, right? Tell me something Edward, was your daddy the first Masen man to live past thirty because he avoided the life of a thief, or because he was too fucking good at it to get caught?"

My stomach dropped as pain lanced through my heart. The energy around me buzzed sharply over my senses, burning me inside and out. Edward rushed forward, hands outstretched to shove Emmett again.

"You have no fucking clue-" As Edward's hands met Emmett's chest, the larger carnie grunted and dropped to his knees. The scent of ozone was replaced by the sickening stench of burnt hair, and a single burst of energy forced me to stumble backward.

I registered a pain in my knee, then my hip as the world spun around me. The sky was a bright blue, and I noticed the puffy white clouds scattered across the expanse just before I heard a crunching sound. The back of my head connected with something hard, causing bright red lights to flash in front of my eyes.

Then all was black.

**xXxXx**

Alcohol. Harsh, acrid, burning. I scrunched my nose and tried to turn my head away from the pungent aroma. The movement caused a stabbing sensation through my brain, and my stomach rolled with the pain.

"I'd recommend not moving yet," a female voice said to my right, sounding bored and slightly angry. I opened my eyes slowly, instantly regretting it when the overhead light caused another wave of nausea.

"Bright," I whispered hoarsely. I licked my lips, my tongue feeling sticky from the dryness of my mouth. "Too bright."

"Yes, well, I need the light to do my job. Just relax; I'll be done in a minute." I grunted when she tugged my arm sending a burning sensation up from my hand to my elbow. Her gloved hands were cold, her touch harsh as she grasped my chin.

"Open." She slid something tasting of plastic under my tongue, pushing my chin back up to close my lips around a thin stick. I kept my eyes closed, listening to the rustle of fabric to pinpoint her location. The odor was intense, cloaking any scent the woman next to me may have exuded. The restriction of my gift, even temporarily, left me feeling vulnerable and exposed.

I heard a high-pitched beep, and then the stranger slid the plastic stick out of my mouth.

"Temp's in the normal range. What do you say we start working on getting you out of my rig?" Her hands slid under my shoulders, lifting my upper body. I released a sob as a deep, searing pain pulsed inside my head.

"Stop that, right now!" Alice's voice came from out of the dark, bringing relief. The woman's hand disappeared from under my shoulders. My head dropped back onto a padded surface, the jolt making me gag.

"Jesus, Bella," Alice said. I felt her fingers twine with mine, and I grasped onto her hand like a lifeline. "I think you're done here." I heard a snort from my other side.

"My rig, my rules," the woman said, making me feel more confused than ever.

"Fine," Alice spat. "Hey, Chief Cullen! I'm going to need some help moving the patient out of this here ambulance." I heard the fabric shifting, then the pounding of footsteps on metal.

"You've got ten minutes, then I want her out of my rig." There was a low thump from past my feet.

"Crazy bitch," Alice hissed. "How're you doing, Bella?" I felt her fingers tickle across my forehead, and I turned into her touch.

"I hurt." A moan escaped my lips as I once again tried to open my eyes. "It's too bright in here." More rustling, then a click.

"Try to open your eyes again." This time, the overhead light was dark and gray.

"Thanks," I said. I looked around cautiously. I was in the back of an ambulance, a tube connected to my right hand. "What happened?"

"You fell down, went boom," she said in a childish voice. I smiled, a single giggle escaping my lips. "Edward said he and Emmett were arguing when you tried to step away. You must have tripped over something, because you fell backward. The parking lot got a little up close and personal with the back of your head. Were you so jealous of my fabulous hospital experience that you had to copycat me? I mean, really, concussions are _so_ last year."

"Ugh," I groaned, wiping my hand over my face. "Don't make me laugh. I don't want to throw up all over you." She chuckled softly.

"Yeah, let's not do that." She looked down at me, sorrow etched across her pretty face. "I'm sorry for this morning, Bella. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

I shifted slowly, taking my time as I moved to a sitting position. My stomach rolled and my head throbbed, but eventually I was able to place my feet on the floor.

"No, I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I haven't been a good friend lately. I know since Edw-"

"Stop," she said, holding up her hand. Her other was still wrapped around mine, and I clenched my fingers around hers. She smiled and squeezed my hand twice. "This has nothing to do with you or Edward. I know you two need time alone to get to know each other, and I totally understand. I don't want you to think I begrudge you in the least for that." The pain in my head still pulsed, though it seemed to be fading slowly.

"So, then what's going on?" I asked. I shifted closer to her, our knees touching.

She sighed deeply, looking out the doors of the ambulance before dropping her head. "I've been having trouble… seeing."

"I don't…" I said, confused for just a moment before her words sunk in. "Seeing… as in visions-of-the-future seeing?" She nodded, glancing up at me. Her eyes expressed everything her words didn't – sorrow, fear, anger, loss.

"Mom doesn't think it's a big deal, but I can't get over the feeling that something's really wrong." She shook her shook her head, tears filling her eyes. "It's not like when I was younger, and I would get a flash but not be able to see the picture clearly. I get nothing. Even when I try, when I really concentrate on someone, it's all black." She released a small sob as she dropped her chin to her chest. "I think I may have lost my gift."

I leaned forward quickly, fighting back the pain and nausea as I wrapped my arms around her shaking shoulders.

"Do you think it's from the accident?" I asked, running my hands soothingly up and down her back. She shook her head against my shoulder.

"No, it started back in Georgia." She raised her head and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I noticed the visions weren't coming on their own, that I had to work to see them. Then Monday morning they were just… gone. And I don't know what to do to get them back."

She suddenly stopped, wiping her face one last time as she looked at me with a resolute expression.

"I'm sorry. You've just knocked yourself unconscious, and I'm sitting here sobbing about the lack of pictures in my brain." We both moved back, releasing each other. "Jesus, I'm, like, the worst friend in the whole world."

I smiled and brushed a lock of her long hair out of her eyes. "No, you're the best friend anyone could ask for." She grinned at me, though it didn't reach her eyes.

"Come on," she said, holding out her hand. "Let's get out of this van before Paramedic McCrotchety-Pants comes back and tries to Kevorkian you. What the hell was her problem, anyway?"

I shook my head slowly as she helped me stand. I wobbled a bit as the world spun around me but quickly regained my balance. "I have no idea. She was cranky from the second I woke up."

We walked to the doors of the ambulance. She jumped to the ground first, lifting both of her arms to help me maneuver my way down the steps. I took a deep breath, relishing the scents on the breeze as the fresh air wiped the last of the alcohol smell from my senses.

"Edward's with Mom on the other side of the Newton's place," she said as she helped me sit on the bottom step. "I'll go grab him so he can help get you back to your trailer." A pinch of fear froze my heart for a beat as I remembered the words Emmett had spat before I fell. My memories of the seconds after were a bit fuzzy, but I knew something had happened when Edward touched Emmett – and I needed to know what.

"Sure, I'll wait here." I grabbed her hand as she turned to leave, pulling until she glances back at me. "And we'll figure out what's going on with your sight…together. You're not alone in this." She smiled gently, and I squeezed her hand once before letting go. "Now go get Edward. I want to go home."

I waited on the back steps of the ambulance for several minutes, my forehead resting on my knees. The pain in my head had receded, but a dull throb still pulsed behind my eyes. I wanted an aspirin…I wanted my bed…I wanted my Edward.

What I got instead was mischief, mist and a large hand on the back of my neck.

"I swear to God, Emmett," I said, not lifting my head. "If you don't get your mitts off me, I'll zap your ass across this parking lot." He snorted a chuckle, removing his hand and kneeling in front of me. I turned my head so I could see him, resting my cheek against my knee.

"What was all that about?" I asked. I kept my voice steady, controlled. There may have been a war of emotion raging inside me, but I wouldn't let him know it.

Emmett sighed and looked at the ground. "I know he called you a freak, Bells," he said. "Alice told me about your fight with him, the one that made you leave Trion in such a rush. I decid-"

"I'm going to need you two to step away from my rig." I looked up when I heard the voice from earlier, coming face to face with Paramedic McCrotchety-Pants. Her scowling face matched the angry tone of her voice, and I wondered idly what could have made someone so pretty act so ugly.

"Sure," Emmett stood quickly and reached for my hand to help me up, "we'll get out of your way." I stood slowly, my eyes on hers. Blonde hair, beautiful, heart-shaped face, piercing blue eyes…she would have been stunning if she only smiled. I guessed she was around Renee's age, though the deep-set wrinkles around her mouth and eyes made her appear at least a decade older.

She watched as I stood, aided by Emmett, and moved away from the back of the ambulance. I leaned into him, the obvious disgust etched across her sun-kissed skin making me feel small and vulnerable. Emmett slid one arm around my shoulders and pulled me toward the heart of camp, hearing the metallic slam of the ambulance doors as I pulled my eyes away from hers.

"C'mon, kid," he said. "Let's get you home." I shrugged out from under his arm and walked slowly in the direction of my trailer. The silence between us was heavy, filled with anger and anticipation. I needed more of an explanation than what he had given, and I prepared myself for the inevitable conversation I was sure would begin once we arrived at my Jayco.

When we finally arrived at our destination, I unlocked the door and walked inside. Emmett followed me just as I knew he would. He made himself comfortable on one of the captain's chairs while I curled up in a corner of the sofa. The silence lingered, weighting our tongues with doubt, until I couldn't delay this one more second.

"He did call me a freak; in fact, he called me the biggest freak of the freaks." I shook my head, remembering the harsh words. "But that's between Edward and me. We've talked about it...a lot. I understand why he said what he did, and I've forgiven him."

Emmett shook his head slowly. "He's not one of us." His voice sounded dark, almost angry.

"So?" I shrugged, and he sat up straighter. "It doesn't seem to bother him that I'm a carnie. Why should I let it bother me that he's not?"

"And when the summer's over?"

I scowled at him. His question was intrusive, and as much as I wanted to tell him to mind his business, I knew he would harp on me until I gave him an answer.

"When the summer's over, _Edward and I_ will figure out what to do. Not you," I said, glaring at him. "My relationship with him has nothing to do with you. I know you're acting on some over-developed sense of protection you feel for me, but this anger has to stop. Edward's a nice person, we care about each other deeply, and I won't let you come between us."

He sighed loudly and ran a hand through his dark curls. "Bella, you don't know him-"

"I know enough," I interrupted. The anger inside of me pulsed violently, and I caught just a trace of ozone as it flared around me. He shook his head, a look of disbelief on his face.

"You've known him for a week, and you're already choosing him over us," he said. His voice was still angry, still heavy. He leaned forward, pinning me under his gaze. "I'm your family, Bella. I've loved you like a sister since the first day you came stumbling out of Phil's old V.W. bus. I've always taken care of you. But this," he paused, then lowered his voice to just above a whisper, "this is beyond what I can help you with. I don't think you understand what you're getting yourself into with him."

"What do you mean?" I said quietly. My stomach felt knotted, fear trickling its way down my spine and through my blood. Emmett stared into my eyes, a quiet desperation shining through.

"Bella, the Masens, they're not-" The voices of Edward and Alice, clearly arguing, drifted in through the windows, and Emmett slammed his fist down on the arm of the chair. I jumped back, but he moved to kneel in front of me, wrapping one had around my neck and pulling my head so his lips brushed against my ear.

"Make him tell you," he whispered, speaking quickly. "You need to know about his family. Ask him to tell you the legend of the Masen men." He paused as the voices grew closer. They seemed to be at the opposite end of the trailer, walking around toward the door. "When you know that, the history behind the men of the family, ask about the women. Not just his mother, Bella. You need to know more. Make sure he tells you about his grandmother and his great-grandmother. The Masen women are the key." He released me and jumped to his feet, looking between the door and me as the knob turned.

"Don't become part of the pattern, Bella."

"Damn it, Alice, I asked you-" Edward froze as he pulled open the door, his eyes locking in on Emmett's. "What the fuck are you doing here?" I cringed at the venom in his voice, but Emmett just grinned.

"Someone needed to make sure Bella made it home safely. I figured since you were too busy scheming with your aunt…" Emmett trailed off, shrugging. Before Edward could move, Alice pushed past him and stood between the two men, holding her arms up. Her spicy aroma washed over me, the citrus barely recognizable beneath the sharper notes.

"Stop it, both of you," she said. "Your little testosterone fueled battle-of-the-biggest-dick isn't going to help Bella one damn bit." She glared at Emmett, then turned to address Edward. "Why don't you go see if Renee can run Bella's game? Jack will be opening the gates within the half-hour."

Edward glanced at his cousin before meeting my gaze. "Are you okay?" he asked, the leather of his voice sliding against my skin even from across the room. He looked so worried, his eyes filled with fear as they stared into mine. His wavy hair stood in a tortured mess, obviously having been assaulted numerous times by his nervous fingers. We both leaned forward slightly, as if our bodies could no longer fight the desperate need to come together. I smiled slightly, wishing I could wrap my arms around him, needing to give him comfort as much as I needed to be comforted by him. The presence of Emmett and Alice made it feel like we were separated by miles, not just a few short feet.

"I'm fine…now," I said. He looked between the two carnies separating us. Indecision showed clear on his face, and his hands clenched and unclenched repeatedly in agitation. Finally, he sighed and ran one hand roughly over his face.

"I'll be back in two minutes," he said, looking directly at Emmett. He rushed back down the steps, his footfalls heavy and quick against the asphalt. A pang of unease settled in my heart as his caramel scent disappeared from the trailer.

"Emmett," Alice said quietly. "I think it's time for you to go." She stepped back, giving him room to move past her so he could reach the door. Emmett nodded once to her, then moved to leave. He stopped on the second step, one hand on the open doorframe as he turned to look back at me.

"It's all about the women."

.

.

.


	17. Needs

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

_._

Confusion. It rolled over my body, making me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. It reminded me of the sound of static on a radio – not painful; just irritating. I shifted under the covers, burrowing deeper in an attempt to hide from the annoying sensation. When that didn't work, I threw the quilt to the end of the bed and took a deep breath, almost choking when I felt a stabbing pain in my heart.

Edward wasn't here. I could sense a hole in my chest, as if a part of me was missing, and I knew it was because of his absence. He must have been gone for hours. I hadn't experienced the deep, burning ache near my heart since I had driven away from him in Trion. I needed him, needed his presence… now.

The sound of a sniffle and the scent of oranges wafting around me had me on my feet. Thoughts of Edward and worry over his whereabouts would have to wait. Alice was here, and she was crying.

"Alice?" I asked, walking into the gloomy living area. The windows stood open, but the blinds were closed to block out the late afternoon sun. Alice sat in one of my captain's chairs, her feet resting on the seat cushion as she hugged her knees. "Honey, what's wrong?" I rubbed my knuckles against my sternum absentmindedly, as if I could massage away the pain burning under the bone.

Alice didn't answer, didn't even acknowledge my presence as I moved to the couch and sat on the end closest to her. I didn't speak again. I just leaned forward to place my hand on one of hers as the other continued to try to rub my pain away. I knew she needed a little time to put her thoughts in order before she would be ready to talk. If there was one thing I could give her to make her feel better, it was my patience.

After several minutes, she sighed and turned her head to look at me.

"I used to have visions of my fíorghrá," she said quietly, her voice coarse from tears. "I didn't tell anyone, but I used to see flashes of him. I never saw us together, but I knew from the first time he popped into my head that he was the one meant for me." More tears spilled from her eyes as she seemed to sink further into her sadness. "I haven't seen him in almost a month. I feel like I've lost him."

I cocked my head to the side a bit and squeezed her hand. The energy coming from her - radiating confusion and unease - told me this wasn't the root of her unhappiness, so I waited silently, knowing there would be more. She stared back at me, her eyes appearing almost black in the low light.

"He's hers, you know," she said suddenly. "Carlisle. He's my mom's fíorghrá." I pulled my hand back as I sat up straight, remembering the encounter from Saturday morning. "She told me this morning. I guess they met before I was born, when Mom and Aunt Liz were still traveling with the same carnival group."

My mind spun with the thoughts and memories from the last few days – the grief from Saturday morning, so much like dead flowers, the energy when Carlisle and Esme stood near one another, the sense of loss and pain. I flitted quickly to thoughts of Jasper and Rosalie, and I wondered why they hadn't returned to the carnival as I expected them to but brushed the thought aside for later. This time was all about Alice.

"I knew," I said. Alice raised her head off her knees, still staring at me. "Saturday when they ran into each other, the energy between the two of them was similar to what I felt when Renee and Phil met. But it was so painful." I looked toward the kitchen, remembering the feeling. "It felt like loss. Like something had died, and they were both mourning whatever it was. It was horrible."

Alice watched me for another minute, then took a deep breath. "I figured you knew. I remember the look on your face when they saw each other. I didn't know what the hell was going on." She ran both hands through her long hair, pulling it over her shoulder and examining the strands. "Why didn't you tell me?" The amount of hurt in her voice broke my heart, and I dropped forward onto my knees, wincing when my left one hit the floor.

"I swear, Alice, I wasn't keeping anything from you. I just… I think I just forgot to tell you." I grabbed both her hands with mine, the ends of her hair weaving in between my fingers. In the back of my mind, I was aware the pain in my chest had receded, not completely, but enough to notice. Edward was on his way back to me. I knew it… I felt it.

Alice shook her head slowly, bringing my full attention back to her. "A week ago, you wouldn't have forgotten something like that."

"I'm know, Alice. I never meant to withhold anything from you. I… I'm really sorry I hurt your feelings." I tried to convey my regret through the words, but they sounded lacking, even to my own ears. She removed her hands from mine and began separating her hair into segments.

"I told you I didn't begrudge the time you spend with Edward, and I don't. But you're my best friend, and right now…" She stopped playing with her hair and wiped away the tears trickling down the sides of her face. "Right now you have Edward, and Mom has Carlisle. And I'm glad you're happy. I'm fucking thrilled you and she have someone like that. But I'm…" She sobbed loudly, and I scrambled to my feet. Her body shook as I reached forward and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her head to my shoulder. I cradled her, rubbing up and down her back while she sobbed from the emotions obviously torturing her.

"I'm all alone right now, Bella," she said, so low it was barely more than a whisper. "I hate that I feel this way, but I can't help it. When Mom told me about her and Carlisle, all I could think was how much I missed you, and now the same thing was going to happen with her. It's been making me crazy. First I'm angry at you, then I'm sad, then I'm angry again." She pulled away from me, wiping her eyes again as she sniffled. "Between you, my fíorghrá and Mom, it seems like I've lost the most important people in my life… all within the same week."

I felt my own tears building. Alice's head hung, her hair hiding her face from me, yet I knew what I would find if I could see it - pain, sorrow, loss. The same emotions coursed through my body, but masking all of them was a resounding feeling of guilt.

"You haven't lost me," I whispered. I put my hands on either side of her face and brought it up until I caught her eye. "You're my family, my sister, and I would do anything for you. I'm sorry I've neglected us." I gave her a small smile, feeling my tears spreading down my cheeks. She nodded back, still looking heartbroken, before she took a deep breath.

"Just make sure you say goodbye before you go riding off into the sunset with my cousin, all right?"

I snorted a laugh, and she smiled gently.

"Are you kidding? If we ride off anywhere, you're totally coming with us."

"Pshaw," she said flippantly, wiping the last of her tears from her cheeks. "I'm not about to move to some Godforsaken little town in Tennessee." She gave me a watery smile and sniffed. "But if you two moved to Chicago, I'd probably go with. I could buy a condo in Streeterville...like Oprah."

I smiled and moved back to sit on the couch once again, thankful for the switch to a lighter subject. "You'd have to sell your place in Savannah." I noticed the pain in my chest was almost gone, and I wondered how much longer it would be before Edward had me wrapped in his arms again.

She waved off my argument and rolled her eyes. "Never. I'd keep it and just be bicoastal." Her voice still sounded thick from crying, but her eyes remained dry.

"Don't you have to have a place on the two coasts to be bicoastal?" I asked. She made a face as if I had just asked the dumbest question possible.

"Chicago's on a coast, Bella. Just because it's not the ocean doesn't make it less of a coast."

"I'm pretty sure the definition of 'coast' negates that theory, but hey… whatever makes you happy." I shrugged and ducked when Alice reached over and swatted at my arm. Her playfulness made me grin. "Feeling better?"

She smiled at me and sat back in her chair. "Yeah, I am. It's just a lot of change happening, you know?" I nodded quickly, understanding exactly what she meant. "Thanks for putting up with me… and my mood swings." We both chuckled as we shifted to get more comfortable in our seats. My fingers tapped a staccato rhythm on my leg, my patience dwindling. He was close… I could _feel_ him.

"So tell me more about Esme and Carlisle," I said after a few moments, needing a distraction. "How long ago did they meet? Why didn't they stay together? What are they going to do now?" She snorted at my rush of questions.

"She hasn't told me all that much. I know they met a couple of years before we were born, maybe eighty-five or eighty-six. She left with the carnival, and they haven't seen each other since." Her smile turned into a smirk as she leaned forward in her chair. "She's already spent the last two nights with him while I sat at home. _And_ she took an overnight bag with her this afternoon when he came to pick her up."

My eyes widened, and my jaw dropped open. I couldn't remember ever seeing Esme with a man. She hadn't even been on a date in the entire time I'd known her. The thought of her not just dating but _spending the night_ with Carlisle was… odd.

"Really?" I asked. She nodded slowly, her gaze locked with mine. "Well, uh… go, Esme… I guess." Alice laughed again before she stood and walked over to the refrigerator.

"How's your head, by the way?" She opened the door and pulled out two grape Nehis, popping the caps off with the bottle opener on the counter and walking back over to hand me one. She took a pull from the bottle as she worked her way around the room, opening all the blinds along the way to brighten the space. It was close to eight o'clock, but the sun still hung bright in the western sky.

"It's okay. There's a dull ache behind my ears, but hopefully a little aspirin will help with that." I rolled the bottle between my palms, watching the inky liquid swirl around. I couldn't resist the question any longer, even though I knew he'd be here soon. "Where's Edward?"

Alice plopped back into the chair, handing me a bottle of aspirin. "He's at the midway, probably covering the dinner breaks for Phil and Renee." She giggled as she raised the bottle to her lips. "He threw an absolute tantrum when I told him he had to run your booth instead of staying with you. Phil had to promise he would send your mom to close out the night for Edward to agree." She took a swig of her drink, still watching me. "I'm sure as soon as Renee walks into the Water Race booth, he'll rush right back here."

I dropped my head, looking at the floor as a grin overtook my face. I didn't want to admit it to Alice, especially not after the conversation we just had, but I missed him terribly. Even though the pain was almost gone, I still had a deep desire to be with him. I wanted to touch him, to hold him… to talk to him. I had so many questions about what happened earlier with Emmett, and he was the only person who could possibly have the answers.

"Are you all packed for your trip?" Her voice sounded too bright, almost forced, and I raised my head to look at her. She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. I wished I could have invited her along with us, but Edward and I needed the time alone. I would just have to spoil her with my attention when I returned.

"Pretty much. I still have my toothbrush and stuff to pack, but I'll do that in the morning." I watched as she nodded shallowly, her eyes darting around the room. "I'll be back on Thursday, I promise." She brought her gaze to mine, her hazel eyes dark and guarded.

"You'd better. Don't think for a second I wouldn't track your scrawny ass all over this country if I had to." She smirked, and I leaned forward to place my hand on hers.

"Back atcha."

Just then, the door swung open, and a harried-looking Edward came rushing into the trailer. A single pulse of energy, happy and bright, pulsed against my chest and a floral smell teased around me. I knew what they meant, knew that my feelings for him caused them.

I knew, right then, exactly what my heart was trying to tell me.

"Did she wake..." He trailed off as he saw me sitting on the couch, his eyes burning into mine. The look of relief on his face made me melt. Caramel and rain engulfed me a second before he stepped across the room, wrapping his arms around me as I stood to greet him. I sighed in relief when we finally touched.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here. I wanted to be, but Alice said you could get in trouble with Jack if your booth closed, and your mom needed to-"

I pressed my lips to his, cutting off his explanation. He froze for half a second, then returned the kiss tenderly. It felt so good to finally be in his embrace again, to be exactly where I needed to be. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, trailing one hand up to the back of his head to grip his hair. He grunted softly when I tugged, pulling away just enough to place his forehead against mine.

"I was so worried about you," he murmured, his breath washing over me. I shifted my face forward to brush my lips lightly across his. They felt so soft as they responded to mine.

"I know, but I'm okay." I kissed him again before sliding my nose down his chin and under his jaw. "You didn't have to worry, a stór." I inhaled greedily, needing the depth of his scent to calm me.

I began running my fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp lightly. He moaned quietly and closed his eyes. I felt the pull between us, the need to be near each other. It smoldered in my chest, warming me from the inside. He squeezed his arms around me, pulling my body tighter against his, almost surrounding me. I felt protected by him, guarded, as if his arms were a shield blocking out all the bad that could happen.

_If only…_

"I'm just going to go," Alice said. "You two have fun in Chicago. Call me... whenever." I peeked over Edward's shoulder, watching as she moved toward the door. She turned back when she reached it, her loneliness visible through the veil of happiness she wore. A stranger or acquaintance may have believed the smile on her lips, but I knew her too well. I recognized the tightness around her eyes and the way her shoulders curled slightly inward. Alice was hurting, and there was nothing I could do to help her.

"Thanks for everything, Al," I replied, wishing I had more than simple words to offer her. "I'll see you on Thursday... promise." Edward dropped his head to my shoulder, his breathing heavy. His arms didn't loosen; they continued pressing me against him in a way that probably wasn't fit for company.

"Yes," Edward said, turning so he could face her. "Thanks for... today. I couldn't have dealt with everything if I would've had to leave Bella alone."

Alice smiled softly, looking between the two of us. "You two are my family; no thanks are necessary." She opened the door and stepped outside before turning back. "Safe travels."

Edward began walking backwards before the door latched behind her. I opened my mouth to ask what he was doing, but he shook his head, silencing me. His face held so much fear as he moved to lock the now-closed door, still refusing to release his hold on me. Once he was certain we were secure, he lifted me off my feet and began walking again, heading straight for the bed at the back of the trailer. I went along willingly, feeling his need to be with me as if it were a living being between us.

Once inside the room, Edward set me back on the ground, still looking fearful. His hands moved up to the sides of my face, brushing my hair behind my shoulders as he caressed my cheeks with his thumbs. He leaned down to kiss my forehead, my nose, my lips… all soft and delicate whispers of lips against skin.

Not a word was spoken between us as we undressed each other slowly. I kept my eyes locked on his as my fingers moved to slide beneath his t-shirt. He released me so he could pull it over his head, then brought his hands back to my body, holding me close again. Fingers on snaps and zippers, fabric sliding over skin. Pants, shirts, socks – all thrown to the side.

I reached behind me, unclasping my bra, and pulled the straps down my arms before tossing it on the pile of discarded clothing. His hands stroked along my skin lightly, reverently. Nothing about this felt rushed, nothing felt overtly sexual as we stood together, the cotton of the final pieces of clothing covering our most intimate places the only thing between us. His eyes stayed on mine, so full of need and worry. The energy between us didn't pulse, didn't race over me enhancing the feelings of lust and arousal. Instead, it skimmed delicately, barely making its presence known as it flitted around us.

Tonight wouldn't be about sex, it would be about caring, wanting, adoring.

Edward dropped slowly to his knees before me, his gaze never wavering. My heart broke just a bit to see him in such a vulnerable position. He skimmed his fingers along the waistband of my panties, back and forth, from one hip to the other. His actions told me what he wanted, what he needed. I nodded minutely, unable to refuse him anything at that moment.

He pulled the lacey fabric down my legs, and I carefully kicked them off to the side. My legs shook as I stood over him; completely bare, both emotionally and physically. In that moment I knew exactly how much he needed me, how much the gravity between us pulled on him and his heart. The intensity of his gaze told me everything his words hadn't.

He closed his eyes and began tracing his nose along my stomach, kissing the flesh softly every so often. I stayed still, just watching, breathing… loving. His attention moved to my left hip, where he placed numerous open-mouthed kisses against a dark bruise.

"Is that from my fall?" I asked quietly. Edward nodded, his nose staying in contact with my skin.

"When you stepped backward, you tripped over a parking block. You landed kind of on your side – knee, hip, then head." His voice was soft yet dark, quiet but filled with anger. I reached down and smoothed my hands over his hair. There was so much more that needed to be said, that needed to be explained, but this wasn't the time for that. Not yet, at least.

He held me by my thighs, kissing his way from the bruise on my hip to a much smaller one on the side of my knee. I watched the muscles in his back flex and pull as he leaned down, the dark ink of his tattoo moving along with them. He sat up slowly, his hands kneading their way up my thighs to my hips. When his mouth met the flesh of my belly once again, I wove my fingers into the curls on top of his head.

"C'mon, a stór." I kept my voice soft as I tugged gently on his hair, indicating my desire for him to rise. He looked up at me, his eyes hooded, heavy, and I smiled softly. "Come to bed."

He rose slowly, not looking away. I dragged my hands along his neck to his shoulders, then over the muscles of his chest. His heart pulsed in time with mine, making me smile as it reminded me once again of our connection. The delicate perfume of trust danced around us, and I knew it was coming solely from his emotions. If the perfume in the air was coming from mine, it would be brighter, more full… the scent of wildflowers.

My hands inched down, stopping and spreading wide when they reached his stomach, touching as much of him as possible. Eventually, I slid them around his waist, my fingers slipping under the elastic of his boxer briefs, pulling them down over his thighs. I could feel the bumps and grooves of the scars on his right side, but I paid them no mind. When I couldn't reach further, I released my tenuous hold on the fabric, and he kicked the briefs away when they reached his feet.

I grabbed both his hands with mine, leading him around to the side of the bed. There was no tension between us, no hesitancy. We climbed onto the mattress, immediately wrapping ourselves around one another as we fell onto the soft surface. My arms under his, my fingers splayed across his shoulder blades, holding him tightly. His arms around my waist, one lying along the length of my spine, the hand gripping my neck, the other angled down around my hip. We clung to each other, breathing in the other's breath while the room darkened with the setting of the sun. When the grayness of the gloaming hour brought forth deep shadows, Edward rolled so he lay on top of me.

"Sometimes, when I look at you," he said softly, his breath warm and moist against my lips, "I feel as if I can't breathe - like I'm drowning in you." He shifted his hips, sliding down between my parted legs. "I want to drown in you. Every day... every second." He kissed me softly, his tongue barely making contact with mine before he retreated.

"I love you, Bella." He placed his forehead against mine as I opened my mouth to speak, but he quickly interrupted. "Please don't say anything. I don't want you to feel like you have to respond right now. I know things today were… disturbing." He shook his head slightly, his nose rubbing against mine. "I just want you to know how I feel. I need you to understand before…"

He trailed off, his arms tightening around me. I wanted to say it back to him, to tell him how I knew I loved him the second he walked into the trailer tonight. I wanted to kiss him all over and rejoice in the fact we'd found each other. The only thing holding me back was the uncertainty about this morning. I wanted - no _needed_ - to know the truth about what happened when he touched Emmett. I needed to trust him fully before I put my voice behind those words.

We lay in the silence, my heart thudding in my chest as I thought about everything that had happened that morning. From Emmett to Jasper, Edward to Mikey, the faces flashed behind my eyes. Confusion flooded my mind, and I knew I needed to start asking questions. I had given him the time to reconnect with me and to comfort each other physically; now I needed to take the time to put my mind at ease.

It could have been minutes or hours when I finally angled my head back to look up into his face. His eyes were closed, his lips slightly parted, though I knew he wasn't asleep. I chewed on the inside of my cheek for a moment, wishing I could just ignore the uncertainty wiggling in my thoughts.

"I didn't really step backward," I murmured. He pulled me closer, wrapping one leg over and around the two of mine. I rubbed my hands across his back, assuming the touch was as comforting to him as it was to me.

"I know." The words left his mouth on a breath, barely more than a whisper against my forehead. Goosebumps rose on my arms at the implication of the two syllables.

"When you touched Emmett, you shocked him." Nervousness ran through me. I remembered the scent of ozone in the air, replaced by the sickening smell of the shock itself when Edward's hands met Emmett's chest. It wasn't my fault; I had been too far away to be the cause of the shock. Could he be…

"I know."

My stomach clenched at his admission. I knew what I needed to ask him, knew the word that had to come from my mouth, but I held it back. My heart raced and my breathing sped as I willed myself to say just one word.

Finally, quietly, I uttered a simple, "How?"

His breath left his body in a rush, and he gripped me almost painfully. I felt fear for a split-second but dismissed it. This was Edward, _my Edward_. He would never hurt me.

"I'm not sure," he growled. I pushed away from him, but he refused to release me from his grasp.

"Please, Bella," he said in a rush. "I don't know exactly what happened this morning. One second I was arguing with Emmett, and the next he was sprawled on the ground and the most God-awful scent was choking me. Then you fell, and I heard…" He shook his head, his hands stilling on my back. "I heard your head hit the pavement, and a little part of me seemed to die. I couldn't get to you fast enough. I thought… for just a second… I thought I might have lost you."

My heart broke as I realized how scared he must have been; how seeing me sprawled on the pavement, unconscious, must have sent him into a sea of panic. I relaxed into his embrace, bringing my hands up into his hair and pulling his head to my chest.

"Shhh," I whispered. "It's okay. I'm here. I'm right here."

"Can we talk about this tomorrow… in Chicago? Please?" His voice was so tortured as he pleaded with me. I wanted to talk, to figure things out, but I couldn't let him suffer. I couldn't stand to hear the pain in his voice. "Right now, I just want to hold you. I need you, Bella. Just like this. Can we... do you mind if we stay like this tonight?" I sighed, my shoulders relaxing as I mentally agreed to wait for my answers. "I promise, as soon as we get to my condo tomorrow, we'll talk about everything. Please." After only a moment's pause, I nodded against his chest, submitting to his needs.

"Thank you," he whispered.

We lay quietly as the gloaming moved to night. No words would be said tonight, no answers given, no possibilities explored. For one brief moment, we lay together, on the brink of something that could either bring us closer together or rip us apart.

.

.

.


	18. Rainbow

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

.

_"Ladies and gentlemen, we've begun our initial descent into the Chicago area. The temperature in the area is reported as seventy-two degrees with winds out of the east at six miles per hour. At this time, we're going to turn on the seatbelt sign. We ask that you return to your seats and ensure your seatbelts are fastened until we are parked safely at the gate. It's been our pleasure to have you with us on United today. Flight attendants, please prepare the cabin for landing."_

I stretched further across the armrest between Edward and me, nuzzling my nose under his jaw as I clutched his arm. The plane bounced and shook, but he remained asleep, completely ignorant of my panic.

When Edward told me we were flying to Chicago, I didn't really think about the plane ride. I focused on spending two days alone with him, exploring his hometown and learning more about his history. How we would arrive and depart from that city didn't fully register.

Or maybe I had just forgotten how afraid of flying I was.

I hadn't been on a plane since my last trip to Washington after my grandparents died. I hadn't remembered the fear that gripped me the second the planes engines revved for takeoff or the way my heart would skip a beat every time the sound of the flaps shifting rumbled through the cabin.

I also hadn't thought about how the scents of the passengers around me would meld together into one oppressive ball of stench. It gave me a headache, making me want to claw my way out of the aircraft so I could breathe fresh air.

Edward had held my hand during takeoff. He whispered supportive words in my ear and promised all the noises and vibrations were completely normal. When my body began to shake and my eyes filled with tears, he pulled me against his side, leaning in my direction so I could bury my face under his jaw. His scent helped calm me, as always, but it wasn't enough. The longer I sat in the uncomfortable blue seat, surrounded by unfamiliar noises and scents, the more frightened I felt.

I tried to hide my anxiety from Edward. Once we were snuggled together in our seats, I purposefully held still, willing my body to behave, not to tremble. My efforts must have worked because his arms loosened as the plane reached its cruising altitude, his head falling back against the seat.

And when he began breathing rhythmically, snoring softly on the inhale, my fear only intensified.

Every minute - every agonizing second - of the two-hour flight passed slowly. The other passengers stayed relatively quiet in the darkened cabin. I assumed most were probably sleeping as this was such an early flight, but I never dared to check. I kept my face as close to Edward's neck as possible, trembling occasionally whenever the plane bounced or shook.

With no warning, no indication that he was once again awake, Edward dropped his head, his chin resting on my cheek as his arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders. I jumped at the sudden movement before melting into his embrace.

"It's okay, chéadsearc," he murmured, the vibrations of his voice tickling against my face. "Don't be scared. It's almost over." I nodded shallowly, closing my eyes.

Twenty petrifying minutes later, the plane came to a stop. I jumped up immediately, knocking my head against the overhead compartment. I rubbed the spot and glared at the plastic bin.

"Stupid plane," I mumbled. Unfortunately, Edward heard me and chuckled from his seat.

"Relax, Bella. It'll be a few minutes before we can exit." He grabbed my hand and pulled me down onto his lap, his arms encircling my hips. "I planned on us taking the train into the city. Are you going to be okay with that, or should we get a cab?"

I shook my head slowly, the thought of being contained with so many scents any longer making my eye twitch.

"Doesn't matter. Whichever's easiest," I answered, not wanting to put a strain on him in any way. He released my hip and brought his hand to my chin, pushing my face up so he could meet my eyes.

"Don't do that," he whispered, his lips almost brushing against mine. "Don't make yourself uncomfortable. We can either take a cab with one other person or take the el with twenty other people. It doesn't matter to me, but I think it does to you." I stared into his eyes, seeing nothing to make me think his words were less than honest.

"One other person," I murmured. "I'm sorry, but all these people, all the scents…"

Edward interrupted me with a gentle kiss. "Don't apologize. I want you to enjoy yourself, not suffer through while trying to make me happy." He glanced around the cabin before kissing me once more. "C'mon, sweet girl. Let's get you some fresh air."

He carried both our bags down the jet way, grasping my hand and walking faster than I thought he should. I tugged to slow him down, but he just threw me a lopsided smile and continued rushing through the airport. We passed the doors leading to the taxi stand without slowing down, walking toward the less-crowded end of the lower level.

When we reached the final set of doors leading outside, he yanked me in front of him and pushed me through the vestibule. The air felt humid and smelled like the exhaust of too many automobiles trapped in an underground roadway, but the stench of numerous people crowding around me was gone. Looking around, I realized we were the only two people at this end of the sidewalk.

After a few minutes of breathing deeply - leaving me feeling much more clearheaded - I turned back to Edward. He leaned against the wall, watching me. I approached him slowly, noting the casual grace of his body as he moved away from the wall to meet me.

"My knight in shining armor," I murmured when I reached him, stretching onto the balls of my feet to kiss him softly. He placed one hand on the back of my hip, squeezing.

"At your service." He kissed me again, caressing my tongue with his before pulling away. After a deep sigh, I grabbed his hand and led him toward the crowd of people waiting for cabs.

"C'mon, a stór," I said, smiling at him over my shoulder. "Take me home." He grinned and caught up to me.

"I love the sound of that."

Fifty-five minutes later, after being trapped with a driver who smelled like cabbage and baby formula, I stepped out of the cab and looked around. The dark-brick, three-story building in front of me looked old, vintage, but was obviously well taken care of. The newer looking windows reflected the sunlight, and the lawn appeared to be freshly trimmed and edged. Tall, neatly pruned bushes lined the perimeter of the property, the only visible break in the wall of green being the brick path leading to the front door.

"It looks like a castle," I said, my head tilted back as I examined the stone details.

"That's because of the turrets on the ends." Edward placed one hand on my shoulder as he also examined the building. "Come on, there's a lot more to see inside." He dragged his hand down my arm and laced his fingers with mine, tugging lightly.

He pulled a set of keys out of his messenger bag, turning to grin at me as he unlocked the front door. He looked so young, so full of happiness. I grinned back at him, enjoying the tangy smell of excitement surrounding us. He opened the door and stepped to the side so I could enter before him.

Walking into the hall was like moving back in time. The light yellow walls rose to meet the wide, white cove moldings along the ceiling. Wainscoting covered the bottom, stopping at a chair rail with boxy detailing. The maroon, patterned carpet, reminiscent of the wool rugs decorating historical southern antebellum homes, drew my eyes along the length of the hall. Five small, antique-looking chandeliers bathed the space in golden light.

"How old is this place?" I asked. Edward chuckled behind me, and I turned to see him pulling mail out of a brass box embedded in the wall.

"It was built in nineteen thirty. The moldings and woodwork are all original, as are the crystal chandeliers and doorknobs on the interior doors." He tucked a few envelopes into his bag and grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the back of the building. "Originally, each floor was composed of two three-bedroom apartments. When the elevator was added in the sixties, the apartments on the west side lost a bedroom to make room for the shaft." We reached the brass-fronted elevator, and he pressed a button. The doors slid open slowly, revealing a car completely lined in dark wood panels with matching trim.

"So, is your condo on the east or the west side?" We walked into the elevator, and Edward pressed a button for the third floor.

"East. I needed the third bedroom to use as a music room and office." The doors opened, and we walked out into a hallway almost identical to the one below.

"What do you do with your second bedroom?" I asked. He walked to the front of the hall where the only two doors visible on along the walls faced each other.

"It's a guest room, although I've never had reason to use it as one." He shrugged as he unlocked the door and held it open, ushering me inside. My jaw dropped as I took in my surroundings.

Edward's condo had a masculine, elegant vibe to it, with shiny hardwood floors. The walls and trim were painted in a simple black, gray and white color palette, while bright yellow and red added warmth and vibrancy. The foyer seemed to be about the size of my bedroom in Tennessee, the walls painted a dark gunmetal. A mirror, framed in a simple, silver frame, faced the door, reflecting my shocked face back to me.

To my right, through a wide opening accented with white trim, was the living area. A gray leather couch and loveseat sat atop a dark red rug. The far wall bowed outward, the six windows along the curve flooding the white room with light. I could see the side of a tall bookcase and desk on the left wall but didn't have time to look before Edward pulled me through the room.

"This is the living room. Dining room." He dragged me through another white-trimmed opening, leading me past a large, rectangular iron and glass dining table with six yellow chairs around it. A long, chestnut credenza sat opposite, almost glowing against the flat black walls. A white door stood open at the back of the room, and he quickly pulled me through it into a very modern kitchen.

"The people that I bought this place from had a kid; that's why there's a chalk wall in here," he said. I tugged on his hand, wanting to explore, to see all the little details. He slowed slightly but still moved toward another doorway. I glanced around quickly, noting the white walls and stainless steel appliances. He rushed me past the strangest stove I had ever seen, bypassing a six-light door leading out onto a patio of some sort, and continued down a narrow hallway.

"Back here are the bedrooms," he said, his voice excited yet still quiet. I smiled at the back of his head, shaking my head at his obvious enjoyment. "This is the guest bedroom." He pointed into an open doorway. I peeked through the door, but the light gray walls and plain, white textiles in the room held no interest for me. We continued forward, stopping in front of another open door on the right.

"This is the master bedroom." He held open the door and ushered me inside, following closely. He dropped the bags on the large platform bed nestled between two simple maple nightstands.

"The master bath is through that doorway, and there's a sunroom overlooking the back of the property through the glass door over there." My head whipped back and forth, following the directions of Edward's hand as he pointed out the proper doors. Before I could investigate the space further, Edward pulled me back into the hallway toward the only closed door. He stopped in front of it, grinning down at me. I found myself smiling back, his obvious giddiness contagious.

"And this room is my pride and joy. I spend most of my time in here when I'm home." He opened the door slowly, and I stepped into a space that told me more about Edward than the rest of the condo as a whole.

Three of the walls, painted a light silvery gray, were covered in black frames. Each frame contained a piece of sheet music, the black lines and dots standing out against the white paper and mats. Short, two-shelf bookcases lined two of the walls, filled with books, model cars, trophies and other items I wanted to investigate later.

The fourth wall, painted black with a white door leading to another bright, small room, had numerous stringed instruments suspended along it. I recognized a violin, cello and guitar but had no idea what the other seven or eight wood pieces were. Two windows, placed against the corner on adjoining walls, allowed the room to flood with sunlight, which reflected off the playable art.

In the center of the room, under a large, stained glass light fixture, stood a black piano, the top panel raised. I heard a click behind me, and suddenly the dome above brightened, bathing the room in a patchwork quilt of multi-colored light. It reflected off the shiny, black surface of the piano, darkening the colors on the ceiling.

"This is…" I whispered, but words failed me. The room was beautiful, elegant, functional and calming all at once. Just like Edward.

"Do you like it?" His voice was quiet, shy. I smiled gently as I turned around, reaching for his hands. He watched me cautiously, although I could still see the joy underneath his concerned expression. This room, this space, was personal to him, something I assumed he rarely shared with others. My reaction would say much more about my feelings for him than about the walls and art around us.

"No," I said quietly, shaking my head as a slow grin spread across my face. "I absolutely love it." Edward exhaled sharply, looking happy and relieved all at once.

"I'm glad." He pulled me into his arms, leaning down to press his lips to mine. "I'm so happy you're here." I opened my mouth to him, sliding my tongue along his as my arms wrapped around his waist.

"I'm so happy you wanted me here," I replied when he relinquished my lips and began nibbling his way down my neck.

"Always." He licked along my collarbone, his hands coming to rest on my ass and pulling me against him. "I always want you with me. Don't ever doubt that."

I could feel him - long and hard - pressing against my stomach. He grunted as I ground against him, his lips capturing mine once more. God, I wanted him. I could feel the energy increasing between us, pulsing as it slithered along my skin. His hands slipped under my shirt and up along my back. They felt so warm, so comforting. I fisted one hand in his hair, pulling so he had to lean farther, pull me closer.

Every sensation seemed stronger, more vibrant. The electricity didn't just beat gently; it thumped and thudded as it traveled over me. The smell of honey was heavy and dense, a physical force bearing down on me. They both continued to grow stronger as I clutched at Edward. It was so much, almost too much.

A powerful vibration of energy rattled against my lower abdomen, knocking the wind out of me as it reverberated between us. I pushed Edward away and stumbled back, gasping for air.

My lungs felt tight, constrained, and I had to fight the feeling on every inhalation. Dark spots flashed across my vision while my head spun. I closed my eyes, willing them away even as the energy began to calm around me. My hands braced against my knees, my head hanging. I inhaled greedily, grateful for the dissipation of the honey smell.

"What… was that?" I asked, still having trouble catching my breath. I glanced up at Edward, wondering if he had felt it, too. He was breathing hard, his face flushed from the effort. His expression reflected the same shock I felt as he shook his head.

"I… I don't know." He ran his hands through his hair and over his face roughly, obviously upset.

I stood up slowly, rubbing my hands up and down my thighs as I straightened to my full height. My heart raced in my chest, no longer from the lack of oxygen but from fear. Memories from the day before flashed through my mind – Emmett yelling, saying horrible things, Edward reaching for him, the smell of ozone and burnt hair, the wave of energy that knocked me over. Something strange was happening. I didn't know if it was me or Edward or some outside influence, but there was definitely something unusual happening.

I shivered as Edward stepped toward me cautiously. He brought his hand to my hip and, when I didn't move away, pulled me back against his body.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly. I couldn't answer him, couldn't even nod or shake my head. I didn't know if I was okay, didn't know enough about what just happened to respond honestly. I stood, frozen and mute, as he stared at me, his expression growing more concerned.

"Bella?" He brought one hand to the side of my face, cupping my cheek. I shivered again. He dropped his forehead to rest on mine, closing his eyes. His breath felt warm and sweet against my skin, and I breathed him in, seeking the calm only he could give me.

"Talk to me, chéadsearc."

I opened my mouth to speak, to tell him my fears and ask him for answers. A door slamming nearby and footsteps on the hardwood of the hallway stopped me.

"Edward? Are you here?" A female voice yelled from the inside the condo. Edward's head jerked back just as two women came to a stop in the doorway of the music room, surprising me. Both were around my age. The taller of the two - a pretty, raven-haired girl wearing cat-eye glasses and a red tank top - seemed surprised and a little embarrassed as she saw us still curled around each other. The second, a short brunette with curves to kill for, looked more upset… perhaps even angry.

"Oh, I'm sorry," red-tank-top said. "I didn't realize you had… um… company." She glanced at the woman next to her, then back at Edward. I followed her gaze, noticing how uncomfortable Edward appeared.

"I'm Bella," I said politely, shifting so I could face them while keeping one arm wrapped around Edward's waist. I knew it was a bit childish, a way to demonstrate my possessiveness, but the two made me feel defensive. The energy around me felt agitated, but I didn't know if it was because of me or one of them. Their scents had melded together into a sweet, floral perfume. I silently wished they would step away from each other so I could differentiate the individual notes.

"Bella," Edward said, dropping his hand to the back of my neck. "This is my neighbor, Angela," red-tank-top waved, "and her cousin, Tina." The brunette barely glanced at me for a second before looking back at Edward.

_Definitely the cause of the agitation._

"Angela's been taking care of my place since I've been away," Edward continued. He flexed his fingers against my neck, pulling my focus back to him. "What are you two doing here?"

"I wanted to bring over the tickets," Angela said, walking further into the room. "I'll be staying at Ben's since it's closer to the ballpark, so I figured I'd just drop them… here." She placed the tickets on the bookshelf to my left, crossing in front of me. She smelled like gardenias and something else, something I had never noticed in another person before. It was light, delicate, a lot like trust but not as powdery. The scent was gentle and calm - I liked it.

"Thanks," Edward said, shifting his weight. "How've you been, Tina?"

She cocked her head to the side a little and smiled softly. "I've been good, Edward. Thanks for asking." She looked him up and down, her eyes traveling along his body slowly. "You look good. Better than the last time I saw you, if that's possible."

My breath caught as I recognized the lustful look in her eyes - Tina seemed to have a little crush on my Edward. That would definitely explain the energy slowly filling the room: full of anger and disappointment. I felt the cold claws of jealousy scratching at my chest as I stared at her.

Edward stiffened beside me; whether from her flirty tone or his fear of my reaction to her words, I couldn't tell. I suddenly felt the need to reassure him, to remind him I was here with him, that I knew he loved me, and I wasn't going to overreact because another woman found him attractive. I dropped my arm subtly and moved my hand to his ass, squeezing softly. He jerked a bit and looked down at me, questioning.

"Hi," I said softly, smiling up at him.

He grinned back. "Hi." It was a whisper, barely a breath, but more than enough to calm the two of us. I could smell it on the air around us, that essence of trust. This moment would be barely a ripple in the sea of our relationship.

I glanced back toward the doorway where Tina stood. Concentrating on the aromas around me, I searched out hers. It wasn't too hard to find. Where Angela was soft and gentle, Tina was louder, more vibrant. There was a definite sweetness to her scent, reminding me of mango or guava. Added to that was something deeper, bolder, like freshly roasted espresso beans.

It would have been a beautiful scent if it weren't overpowered by the bitterness of her energy.

"Are you, uh, going to the party… at Wrigley?" Edward asked after a moment.

Tina snorted and rolled her eyes. "Hell no. You couldn't pay me to step foot in that place." She crossed her arms over her chest, accentuating her cleavage. I shifted to press my breast against Edward's arm and smiled when he pulled me closer.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," he said, sliding his fingers into my hair at the back of my neck. I sighed and shut my eyes briefly, enjoying his touch.

Angela grabbed a surprised Tina by the arm, pulling her toward the door. "Okay… well… we're going to go. It was nice meeting you, Bella." She backed into the hall, waving, while Tina shrugged off her hold. "I'll see you tomorrow, Edward."

Neither of us said goodbye; instead, we stood in silence, waiting for the thud of the main door as they left. When the air around me no longer smelled like mango and gardenia, I grabbed Edward's hand and brought it to my lips, kissing his palm.

"Apparently we have more to talk about than I thought," I said. He sighed, pulling me toward him with the hand tangled in my hair.

"I'm sorry. I honestly didn't expect them to walk in here like that." He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, and I leaned my forehead against his chest.

"We both have pasts," I said, breathing him in. "It's a little odd to have part of yours come strolling through the door, but I'm not going to jump to conclusions." I tilted my head back, my eyes locking with his. "We do need to talk, though. Not just about this."

He nodded solemnly. "I know. How about we grab some lunch? We can sit out on the sun porch and discuss… yesterday."

I stretched up onto my toes, giving him a quick peck to the lips.

"Sounds like a plan."

**xXxXx**

"Please tell me you know how to use this thing?" I frowned at Edward's stove, grill pan in hand.

"Of course I do," he said, stretching around me to turn on a burner. "It works just like a regular stove; it's just wider and not as deep." He took the pan from my hand and set it on the lit burner before turning back to the cutting board near the sink.

I waited patiently for the pan to heat up, then began placing the chicken along the ridges. Once they were properly placed and sizzling, I turned to watch Edward as he stood at the cutting block counter.

"So, you and Tina?" I crossed my arms and leaned my hip against the oven handle, making sure to leave space between the hot pan and me. I saw Edward freeze, his shoulders stiffening, before he coughed once and returned to cutting the tomatoes.

"She was one of my physical therapy assistants. Her and Angela both, actually." He placed the slices on a small plate and turned to face me. "We went out a few times in the spring, but it didn't work out." He shrugged, then pushed off from the counter, walking toward me slowly.

"Why not?" I didn't move as he reached me, placing both hands on my hips and leaning down to kiss the curve where my shoulder met my neck.

"Baseball season," he murmured, pulling me against him. I closed my eyes briefly at the warmth his touch brought me. Sweetness, heavy and rich, filled the air, overpowering the smell of the chicken cooking. He dragged his nose up my neck - slowly, teasingly.

"What about baseball season?" I whispered, wondering how we went from dating to baseball. It didn't make sense to me – of course, nothing really made sense to me when he was nibbling along my jaw. He finished his trek by kissing the tip of my nose gently.

"She's a White Sox fan, Bella. I knew the first time she insulted Ron Santo it would never work between us." I stared up at him, utterly confused. He simply smiled back. "I'm a Cubs fan, born and raised. And she _hates_ the Cubs."

I stood there, dumbfounded, as Edward moved to flip the chicken in the pan. I felt a giggle growing in my chest, but I held it back as I absorbed his words.

"So, you're telling me you stopped dating the pretty brunette with the wicked curves… because she didn't like the same _baseball team_ you did?"

Edward just nodded as he ground pepper over the grill pan. The giggle rose along my throat, and I snorted as I tried to control it.

"Edward, you do realize how ridiculous that is, right?" I asked, half choking from the effort of not laughing.

He shook his head. "Not in this town. The lines are clearly drawn." He set the pepper mill down and turned toward me once again. "Either you're a Sox fan or a Cubs fan." He placed both hands on my hips, sliding them around to grab my ass and pull me against him. His breath was warm on my cheek as he leaned down to whisper in my ear. "And if you claim to be both, it makes you a pussy." His lips brushed my ear as he said pussy, a puff of warm air bursting through on the P, making me shiver. "What about you, my little gypsy? Cubs or Sox?"

His hands were kneading my ass roughly, the entire length of his body pressed against mine. I stroked my hands along his biceps and rose up on my toes so I could kiss along his jaw line, all the way up to his ear.

"Hey, Chicago, what do you say," I sang softly. "The Cubs are gonna win today." He jerked back, a shocked look on his face. I just smirked at him.

"Jesus," he said. "That's probably the hottest thing anyone's ever said to me." I laughed loudly, and he smiled, wrapping me in a tight hug. "I may love you even more for knowing those lyrics."

My laughter died on my lips, and I felt a sudden tightness in my chest as my body stiffened. We still had so much to deal with, so much to talk about. The fun and the laughter and the affection were wonderful, but I couldn't let them override my worries.

His face fell as I pulled away from him, moving to remove the chicken from the pan.

"Do you have a different cutting board to use with meat, or…" I trailed off, glancing around the kitchen before returning my gaze to him. The disappointment in his eyes broke my heart, but I held myself together. I had let him delay this conversation for one day, but I couldn't keep putting it off. We needed to talk… today.

He took a deep breath, making an obvious effort to hide his unhappiness with my rejection, then waved his arm toward the counter by the sink. "You can, um, just use the big cutting block."

I stepped around him as he began assembling our individual salads, layering greens, tomato slices and fresh mozzarella cheese. I cut the chicken into strips, adding them to the pile before he drizzled the salads with balsamic vinaigrette.

"If you want to grab the bread and butter, I'll carry these out to the deck," Edward said, picking up the salad bowls and silverware from the counter. I nodded at him, grabbing the plate to my right with butter and wheat rolls before following him out the door across from the stove.

An uncomfortable tension sizzled around us as we ate in the sun. We made small talk, discussing the weather and the history of his neighborhood, but it didn't seem to help either of us relax. Not even the scent of the nearby lake, refreshing and calm, could take away the stink of our disconnection. When I couldn't take the irritation a moment longer, I set my fork down and placed my hands on the edge of the table.

"Please talk to me," I murmured sadly. I sensed more than saw Edward startle, perhaps not expecting me to speak in such a tone. "I don't like this feeling around us. Can you… can we just talk about what happened yesterday? Please?" He sighed before looking into my eyes. I saw questions there, doubt, and perhaps even a little fear.

He ran his hands through his hair and down over his face. "I don't know what happened." I opened my mouth to speak, but he interrupted me. "Just… hear me out." He sounded so defeated, as if he dreaded telling me this story. I hated that tone. I slowly eased back in my chair and nodded once, signaling for him to continue.

"I had been a wreck all morning. From the second I woke up in an empty bed, I knew something was wrong. It was a physically uncomfortable, as if my skin was too tight or something. Almost like a burning sensation over my whole body." He shook his head, holding his eyes closed for a moment. "Fuck, I'm not explaining this right." He took a couple of deep breaths, and I noticed him fidgeting with his napkin.

"It felt like… electricity," he said finally. My eyes widened as my heart began to pound almost painfully in his chest. Shocked, surprised, stunned – none of these descriptions seemed strong enough to explain the way I felt at that moment.

_It's not possible…_

"As soon as I found out the police were in camp, I had this desperate urge to find you. I couldn't stand the thought of Officer Kelly putting his hands on you again." He glanced down toward my right elbow. I crossed my arms in front of my chest, using my left hand to hide the yellowish bruise still visible there.

"When I finally found you in your booth, the worry didn't go away. I stayed on edge, even when we were back in your trailer. I can't describe it really; I just knew something wasn't right. That electric feeling on my skin was still there, and I began noticing…"

He trailed off and looked toward the backyard, watching the leaves on the oak tree there dance in the light breeze playing through the branches.

"I noticed scents around me I had never experienced before." His eyes met mine once more - guarded, worried. I felt my breath hitch as I stared back, knowing my fear would be evident on my face. Vague memories of harsh words said in a fortuneteller's tent flitted through my mind, and my shock quickly bled into fear.

_It's simply not possible…_

So quiet, I almost didn't hear it, he whispered, "You smell like sugar cookies and… home." He tilted his head to the side a little, questioning. "It's comforting."

His words slammed into my chest, and I felt an icy chill slide down my spine.

"What else?" I whispered hoarsely. I quickly cleared my throat. "What else did you smell?"

Edward watched me warily from across the table, as if he was afraid. He had placed his trust in me, believed I would never use my gift against him. And though I knew it wasn't intentional, that I would have never asked him to experience my power as he had, every ounce of blame would be mine to bear.

I felt a piece of my heart crumble and scatter in the wind.

His gaze dropped to the floor, releasing me from his piercing stare. "Chief Cullen smelled like Thanksgiving, and Emmett smelled like early mornings at summer camp."

I brought my shaking hand up to my mouth, holding in a sob. The memories in my head grew louder, banging around, refusing to be silenced. Harsh words, painful words… words of hate and fear.

_Not normal, freak._

I watched as Edward placed his elbows on the table, still refusing to look at me. He dropped his head into his hands and yanked roughly on his hair. Every instinct screamed at me to go to him, to crawl on my knees and beg for his forgiveness. But I was too afraid, fearful of his anger, his rejection. I stayed in my seat, frozen by fear.

I had somehow taken away what he valued most… his ability to have a 'normal' life. And as much as I hated the word, hated the bitterness it left in my mouth, I knew it was the only one that could encapsulate all of the negative emotions I felt in regards to what I had somehow done to Edward.

I had turned him into a freak, just like me.

Edward took a deep breath as I felt my stomach roll. I grabbed my bottle of water off the table, sipping carefully. My tear-filled eyes stayed locked on the man across from me. If he hadn't figured it out yet, he would soon enough. And when he did, when he learned I had somehow passed my gift onto him, forcing him into a life of secrets and shame...

_Not normal, freak._

I closed my eyes and shook my head, fighting against the nausea burning through me. There had to be a way around this, a way to take it all back. If I could fix this, give him back his normal, maybe he wouldn't hate me so much. Maybe he could forgive me, maybe…

His fist hit the table, spilling his water and making our silverware dance in the empty bowls. My eyes shot to his right as he lifted his head, glaring at me.

"Fuck, Bella, I can't do this…"

I was on my feet, water spilling down the front of my shirt and shorts, before he could finish. I ran for the master bedroom, sliding on the wood floors. The tears falling from my eyes blurred my vision, and I slammed my shoulder into the doorframe as I turned from the hall.

"Fuck!" I rushed through the room and into the master bath right as my stomach rolled again. I had barely closed the door behind me when I began gagging, my stomach revolting against the lunch I had just eaten. Edward burst through the door just as I landed on my knees next to the toilet.

"No," I cried right before I expelled the sick from my body. He hurried to kneel beside me, holding back my hair and rubbing my back.

"It's okay. It'll all be okay," he whispered. I waved my arm, trying to tell him to leave me alone, but he ignored my feeble attempts to get rid of him. I continued crying and hurling into the basin until there was nothing left, nothing inside of me but fear.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I murmured repeatedly, the words losing meaning as they echoed through the room.

Edward just shushed me, still rubbing my back. "It's okay, Bella," he said softly. "It's not your fault. We'll figure everything out. Just calm down, okay? Please?"

I cried harder, knowing he was wrong - it was all my fault.

The tinny sounds of my _Witchy Woman_ ringtone floated through the air. I jumped to my feet, pushing past Edward as I raced back into the bedroom. I hurried to my bag, digging into the side pockets just as Edward came rushing into the room.

"Jesus, Bella. What the fuck was that?" I put my hand up, signaling him to stop as my fingers wrapped around my cell phone.

"Don't come near me, Edward," I said. I felt the phone vibrating as the song started over again. I kept my eyes on Edward, my hand up and my palm facing him while I struggled to pull the phone free.

"Bella… chéadsearc," he said, his voice hinting at the panic I'm sure my insane behavior was causing him. I didn't like scaring him, didn't want him to worry, but I had to know.

I had to know if I had somehow ruined his chance at a normal life.

I shook my head, feeling my tears falling as the phone stopped ringing just as I wrenched it from the bag. Edward stared at me - so anguished, so pained.

My phone shook in my hand, and I almost dropped it as the vibration startled me. _Witchy Woman_ filled the room again, and I breathed a little sigh of relief as I pressed the green button to answer.

"Esme?"

"Bella, I need you to calm down. Can you do that for me?" Esme's voice, so familiar and soothing, broke through the dam holding my emotions together. They flooded through my body – shame, regret, guilt, fear.

"Esme, I can't…"

"Yes, you can, Bella. I want you to take a couple of nice, deep breaths right now. Okay, baby? Can you do that for me?"

I nodded dumbly, afraid to speak anymore. I did as she said, breathing deeply three times before I heard her sigh on the other end of the line.

"Okay, sweetie, you're doing fine. Do me another favor, all right? Give Edward the phone so I can talk to him."

I shook my head, knowing she couldn't see me but unable to do anything more.

"You can do it, Bella. Just walk over-"

"No!" I cried, backing up against the wall farthest from Edward. I sunk to the floor, bringing my knees up to my chest. "It's my fault. I don't know how, but it is. I can't be near him, Esme. It'll just get worse. He'll never-"

Before I could finish, I smelled caramel and felt warm arms wrapping around me. I tried to get away, to push him off, but he just clung to me harder, pulled me tighter. He used his entire body to envelop me, wrapping his legs around my ankle and hips as his arms followed suit around my shoulders. His hold remained strong as he whispered calming words on my ear.

"Bella?" Esme said after a couple of minutes of silence. "Please give Edward the phone. This will all be okay; I just need to talk to him."

I nodded slightly against Edward's shoulder, surrendering. I pushed the phone toward Edward with a shaking hand. He took it carefully, slowly, as if I was a wild animal, and he was afraid to make any sudden movements.

"Aunt Esme?" he said once he held the phone against his ear. I could hear the din of her voice through the receiver but could not hear her words. I wanted to know what she was saying, yet at the same time, I wanted to curl up in the back of the closet and hide from both of them. Unfortunately, being wrapped inside an Edward pretzel made it pretty much impossible to escape to the closet, so I attempted to listen instead. Esme's voice was a constant, never wavering, never pausing to allow Edward a word. The sound was oddly calming, and I allowed my mind to drift as it continued in the background.

"Bella?" Edward asked, pulling my attention back to him. I brought my face up but kept my eyes focused on his shoulder. I didn't need to see the revulsion on his face when he realized what I had done. "Honey, how do I put this on speaker?" He held the phone out to me, and I pushed the correct buttons with my trembling fingers.

"Okay, Aunt Esme," Edward said once the screen lit up with the speakerphone icon.

"Bella, I want you to listen to me." Esme's voice sounded firmer than before, and I sat up to listen to her. Edward tightened his grip on me in response. "This is not your fault. None of this, none of what happened yesterday, is your fault."

"But-"

"No," she interrupted forcefully. "I need you to hear me, baby. This is absolutely not your fault."

"But he shocked Emmett!" I yelled, struggling to free myself from Edward's hold once more. He didn't let go, and I eventually settled back into his grasp. "I know it; I could smell the ozone in the air, but I thought it was from me. I thought I was losing control again. That's _my_ gift. He shocked Emmett with my gift." I sobbed, falling limp in Edward's arms. "He'll never forgive me."

"No, chéadsearc. No!" Edward said, his voice rising as he held me tighter. "There's nothing to forgive, sweetheart. Nothing! Jesus, I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" I asked through my tears. Edward lowered his head to place his forehead against my temple.

"I should have told you. As soon as we knew, I should have said something. Aunt Esme told me to…"

"Edward," Esme's voice came through the speaker, tinny and distant. "You both need a few minutes to calm down before you start this, a thaisce. Why don't you go make Bella some sweet tea while she and I have a little chat?"

"I don't want to leave her alone," he responded. His voice sounded so sad, so filled with pain. I glanced up at him but looked away quickly when I saw the tears streaming down his face.

_My fault, all my fault…_

"Go, Edward. She'll be fine. We're just going to talk for a few minutes, then I'll leave you two alone." Esme's tone calmed me, soothed my screaming nerves as only she could.

"Go," I whispered. Edward looked shocked, so I put one hand on his cheek and wiped his tears away with my thumb. "She's right. Neither of us is in any shape to start another discussion right now."

He stared at me, looking back and forth between my eyes, struggling to decide. I nodded and pushed on his shoulder, feeling my stomach clench when his arms finally released me.

"I'll go make the tea," he said, his voice heavy with sadness. "You'll join me… in a few minutes?"

He appeared so lost, so hopeless. I looked him in the eye and nodded, hoping it would make him comfortable enough to leave me alone with Esme. He nodded back, standing slowly and limping toward the door.

"You have five minutes, then I'm coming back in here." He glanced at me once before closing the door behind him. I sobbed again when he was gone, feeling his loss like a knife through my heart.

"He's just in the kitchen, Bella," Esme said soothingly. "He's not leaving the condo, I promise you." I nodded, again knowing she couldn't see me but unable to stop the ingrained response.

"Okay," I whispered. My voice sounded hoarse even to my own ears. I took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm myself. I wished, for just a moment, Edward was still here so I could breathe in his caramel scent. This thought made me focus on the loss I felt without him, and I cried harder.

"Oh, Bella. Honey, please stop crying. Why don't you go brush your teeth? You'll feel better once you do."

"Yeah, maybe I should." I sniffled, looking up at the light as I took one last deep breath. I willed my tears to stop and wiped my eyes before standing up and heading into the bathroom.

Two minutes and one heavy dose of Colgate and Listerine later, I sat on the floor next to my phone. I knew Esme was still on the line because the light for the speakerphone glowed green.

"Okay, I'm calm… well, calmer." Esme snorted. "No, really. This is probably about as calm as I'm going to get." I heard her sigh through the phone and then the unmistakable rustle of a foil bag being opened.

"Are you really going to eat Nilla Wafers right now?"

"Don't judge, missy," she said, pretending to be stern. "They're my happy food." I heard a couple of crunches before she continued. "Would you like to tell me what led to you sitting with your face in the commode, or am I going to have to guess?" I took a deep breath, my heart stuttering as I thought about lunch.

"I cursed him, Esme." I dropped my head as I heard her sigh.

"Oh, Bella. You didn't curse him. Why would you say something like that?"

I sniffed, shaking my head. "It's my fault. He… absorbed my gift or something."

"What?" Esme asked, sounding surprised.

"He could _smell_ me, Esme. And not in the you-need-a-bath way - in the you-smell-like-cookies-and-comfort way. And he shocked Emmett." I stopped, resting my head on my knees and closing my eyes. "He liked his normal life, and I've ruined that for him."

"So you think your gift is a curse?" she asked. Her voice sounded low, cautious.

"No. Of course not," I answered, shaking my head against my knees.

"If you don't think your gift is a curse, then why do you feel as if you've cursed him?"

"Be-be-because," I stuttered, my thoughts swirling. "He's normal. He likes normal. He's not going to forgive me for taking that away from him."

Esme didn't speak for a few minutes, the only sound coming through the speaker the crunching of her cookies. I could hear Edward moving around in the kitchen, and I realized how much I missed him, missed his touch.

"Did he tell you this, or did you just presume to know what he was thinking?"

I froze at the sad tone of her voice. I didn't expect that, nor did I expect to be buried under an avalanche of doubt.

"I… he didn't… but when we were talking," I paused and took a deep, cleansing breath, "he sounded so mad, and he said he can't do this. I just assumed…"

"Stop assuming, Bella," Esme said forcefully, startling me. "Ask him how he feels about this. _Talk _to him."

"I'm trying…"

"You're not trying hard enough!" she exclaimed, interrupting me. "He's your fíorghrá, and he loves you. I turned my back on mine because I was too afraid to ask him what he wanted, and we both suffered for over two decades because of it. Don't be stupid enough to do the same thing. Don't disrespect him by ignoring his feelings." She sniffled quietly, and I wondered if she was crying. I could hear the sound of her reaching into the bag for another cookie as I sat, stunned. As always, Esme was right. I needed to talk to Edward… right now.

I was on my feet and heading toward the door when it opened slowly. Edward stood in the hall, his hand resting on the door as he regarded me cautiously. I ran at him, knocking him back into the hallway as I clung to his neck.

"I'm sorry, so sorry. I didn't mean to pull away from you. I thought you would be mad. I'm sure you're mad. And I'm so afraid you won't forgive me, but I have to try. I love you too much not to at least try to explain. And I promise not to disregard your feelings again. It all just scared me so much because I know how you want your normal life. Shit, I'm assuming again. I don't mean to; I just…"

Edward silenced my rambling with a kiss, lifting me off the floor and squeezing me as if his life depended on it.

"Don't apologize," he said when he finally broke our kiss. "It's my fault. I should have told you what was going on yesterday, but I was afraid. I wasn't sure what it meant and how you would take sharing this with me. I didn't want you to think I was a hypocrite when I said how much I liked it." He set me back on my feet and ran his hands over my hair smoothly. "I liked experiencing the world the same way you do. It made me feel… closer to you, somehow."

"Then why did you say you couldn't do this? I thought," I paused, closing my eyes against the sickening pain in my gut as I heard those words repeated in my head, "I thought, maybe, the 'this' was… us." I glanced up when I heard a sharp intake of breath. Edward stood there, looking shocked and hurt.

"No, Bella. No," he said firmly, running his hands over my hair, my face, my neck. "The 'this' wasn't you or us. It was just the conversation. I was having a hard time explaining myself, and I was afraid of what you'd think once you knew what happened." He wrapped one arm around my shoulders, the other around my waist, and pulled me against him tightly. I buried my face in his chest, and his head came down to rest on top of mine.

"No doubts, remember?" he asked quietly. I nodded, remembering the words we spoke to one another in Tennessee while the smell of trust had drifted around us. How could that have been less than a week ago? It felt like months had passed since that morning on my deck.

We clung to each other in the hall as the minutes ticked by. No words were necessary, no further promises offered – we stood silently as we used each other to calm our frazzled nerves. His body rocked mine back and forth, swaying to the music only he could hear. The song must have eventually ended because he stilled, breathing me in.

"How're you feeling?" he asked, his lips brushing against my forehead.

"Fine," I said automatically. As I thought about it, though, I changed my mind. "Actually, I'm really hungry." Edward chuckled softly, placing a gentle kiss to my head as he released me.

"C'mon then," he said, pulling me down the hallway. "Let's find you something to eat."

"Do you think you have any cookies? Hearing Esme with her Nilla wafers made me want cookies." I stood near the stove, watching as he moved through the doorway leading into the kitchen.

"I honestly don't know," he said. "I asked Angela to stock the fridge and pantry for our trip, but I didn't give her a list or anything." I could hear him shuffling around in the pantry as I hopped up onto one of the pub-height chairs by his stainless steel table.

"She's a good friend." I didn't question it.

"Aha!" he exclaimed, walking out of the pantry with a small blue tin in his hands. "I knew I had to have something." He set the tin in front of me then walked to the refrigerator. "What do you want to drink with them? Sweet tea? Milk?"

I shook my head. "No, I don't really like milk. I usually just drink a grape Nehi with my cookies, but I'll settle for whatever you have."

I opened the tin of cookies and selected one. I was about to take a bite when Edward placed a purple bottle in front of me.

"Where did you…" I asked, shocked to see the familiar label.

"I found a place online that ships them all across the country. I have two cases in the back… for you."

I grinned goofily as my tears began to fall once again, though this time in happiness. Edward returned my smile, leaning to kiss me once again.

"Thank you," I murmured against his lips.

"You're welcome." He kissed me once more before shifting back and grabbing a cookie. I giggled when he sniffed the treat before taking a bite.

"Sugar cookies?" I asked.

He looked a little embarrassed as he grinned back at me and shrugged. "Sugar cookies. These are butter cookies, though. They don't smell nearly as sweet."

"Hmmm," I responded, shifting in my seat so my thigh pressed against his. "You smell like caramel and rain, although sometimes I notice a touch of vanilla."

The smile on his face faded while he stared at the tin of cookies, as if it held all the answers to the world's problems. I waited, confident he would tell me what was bothering him in his own time. It didn't take long.

"Yesterday…when I," he exhaled and rubbed his finger against the cool metal table, "when I shocked Emmett, I noticed something… harsh." His eyebrows furrowed, and I assumed he was trying to remember the scent around him at the time. I grabbed his hand, squeezing it until he looked at me.

"Before you actually shocked him?" I asked softly. He nodded. "That was the smell of ozone. Lightning smells similar, though not as strong. After shocking someone, I usually smell burnt hair."

He shook his head slowly. "I didn't notice anything afterward." He grabbed my other hand, holding both of them in his lap as he shifted to face me.

I turned in my chair, maneuvering my knees between the two of his, our grasped hands resting on top of them. The position made me feel closer to him; able to ask the questions I needed and know I'd receive an honest answer.

"It takes a strong surge of emotion to shock someone," I said softly, barely above a whisper. "I still don't really understand what pushed you over that edge."

He looked over my shoulder, his face stiff and his eyes hard. "When you walked over to Emmet and left me with Chief Cullen…" He swore under his breath, turning his head to the side so I could no longer see any part of his face.

"Edward?" I squeezed both his hands, shaking his arms to bring him back to me. He eventually turned his face back toward me, but kept his eyes trained on the table.

"It hurt, okay? It just really fucking… hurt." His voice was sad, full of bitterness. I was stunned silent, my mouth hanging open. I had no idea he felt this way, that my actions had caused him pain.

"I hated it. I hated seeing him touch you, seeing the smug look on his face when he caught me watching." His eyes finally met mine, so full of sadness they made my breath catch. "I didn't realize… until I saw how stiff your shoulder were… I didn't know he was scaring you. I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, but I never thought he would cross a line like that. I didn't think he would put his hands on you.

"And when he said what he did about…" he paused, looking extremely uncomfortable, "when he told you not to… spread your legs… I lost it. I don't think I'd ever been that angry at anyone other than…" He stopped, but I knew. I could tell by the hard set of his jaw and the fury in his eyes who he was thinking of.

His mother.

"But it wasn't until he insulted my father that I really gave into the rage I felt." I gripped his hands tighter, as if I could hold him to me. He slid his out of my grasp, running them over my thumbs until he could grip both my wrists. I mimicked his hold on me.

"One second Emmett and I are yelling back and forth; the next my nose is burning, Emmett and you are on the ground, and I feel like I've been punched in the gut. I panicked. When I saw you laying there, not moving, I didn't even think. I just had to get to you… to make sure you were okay."

I didn't respond. He didn't need me to. His eyes roamed over my face, down my neck, back up along the same path. I remained still, allowing him to absorb whatever he felt he needed to know I was all right, that I was sitting in front of him. When he finally returned his verdant eyes to mine, I tilted my head to the side.

"How do you feel about this?" I asked. He looked confused for a moment, so I elaborated. "The whole being-able-to-use-my-gift thing. I want to know if you're okay with it. I don't," I paused, taking a deep breath as I fought back my tears, "I don't want you to regret being with me because-"

"No," he said strongly, interrupting me. "I would never regret anything about you. Never. This… gift sharing is rare, but not unheard of according to Aunt Esme. My grandparents, her parents, were able to use each other's abilities." He leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose softly. "Yesterday, after the paramedic put you in the ambulance, Aunt Esme dragged me over behind the Newtons' trailer to find out what happened. She knew. As soon as I started explaining things, she _knew_ I had used your gift."

"Does it go away?" I asked. "If you wanted to live a normal life, sans crazy gifts, is there a way to stop the sharing?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I didn't ask her." He slid his hands up my arms, grasping me around the elbows. "I thought you hated the word normal?"

I shrugged and took a deep breath. "I do, but it's what you were before you met me. I feel like I've taken that away from you; I've turned you into a fr-" I stopped myself, unable to say the word. The thought of someone calling Edward a freak ripped through me, leaving deep gashes along my heart. I couldn't bear it; I couldn't bear to be the reason he would have to endure the torment.

"Hey," he whispered, leaning toward me. "It's okay, chéadsearc. You've taken nothing from me. My life before you was…" He paused, pulling me closer, his forehead against mine. "You're like a rainbow on a rainy day. You blazed through me, bringing light and color where there was only gloom." He pulled back, his eyes intense as they stared into mine. "You've taken nothing from me. _Nothing_."

I nodded as my tears began to fall - partly happy, partly relieved. Edward held me against him, pulling me into his warmth and brushing kisses across my hair.

"We'll make our own normal, chéadsearc," he whispered. And for the first time since I realized what had happened, how he had been able to use my gift, I allowed my soul to calm. He didn't hate me, didn't feel angry or sad because he could now do things others couldn't. He accepted it, accepted me… more fully than I ever thought possible.

"Together."

.

.

.


	19. Butterscotch

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

.

We spent the remainder of Tuesday lying on Edward's couch under a blanket - talking, kissing, cuddling. When our proximity and confines warmed us to the point of being uncomfortable, Edward slid out from under me and disappeared down the hallway.

"Where'd you go?" I asked sleepily as soon as he returned to the room. He lifted the blanket and crawled back underneath, pinning me between his chest and the back of the couch.

"I went to turn down the thermostat." His arms wound around me, and his leg pushed between mine as he pulled the blanket back over our heads, shrouding us once more. "It was getting a little warm in here." He brushed his lips across my forehead and sighed.

"You know, we could have just taken off this blanket." I smiled when I heard the telltale click and hum of the central air blowing through the vents above us.

"I know," he replied, snuggling even further into my embrace. "But I'd much rather deal with a higher electric bill than leave our little cave right now."

"Hmmm." I placed soft, sweet kisses along the edge of his jaw. "There are times when I think I should have put central air in my cabin, but I'm rarely there in the summer. It just didn't seem worth the cost." I rubbed my hands up and down his arms, allowing my fingers to slip under the sleeves of his t-shirt.

"It's cheaper to live here in the summer than the winter," he said, lips tickling against my forehead. "My gas bills are ridiculous. I guess that's what I get for buying in a vintage building with twelve foot ceilings."

I pulled away from him, leaning back so I could see his face. He smiled softly at me and ran his fingers along the side of my face as he brushed my hair behind my ear.

"How do…I mean…I'm not even sure how to ask this." I stopped, putting the words in order in my head. "Please don't think I'm being rude, but how do you pay for all this? I mean, I know you've been in school, and you're traveling with us for the summer. Do you…do you work?" My face warmed as the ridiculously invasive words tumbled from my mouth. Edward just chuckled at my obvious discomfort. He dragged his hands over my back, down past my waist, to knead the curve where my thighs began. I groaned and melted back into his hold.

"I used to make money giving private music lessons, tuning and repairing instruments, playing piano at different events across the city; I even played in a couple of bars when I needed extra cash." He shrugged, the smile falling as his face became more serious. "But I bought this condo with my inheritance. Like I said before, we weren't rich, but my dad had a good life insurance policy and an ironclad will. Almost all of his money came to me after he died." He pulled me closer, pressing his cheek against the top of my head. "This place is paid for, though I still have bills to pay each month." He paused, clutching me to him and taking a deep breath.

"While we were still in Georgia, I was offered a position teaching music appreciation at a private all-boys school downtown. I'm expected back in mid-September." His voice seemed much quieter, almost cautious. I knew his thoughts revolved around the same questions currently screaming through my mind – What would happen to us? Could our relationship survive, much less thrive, if we were so far away from each other? Would our bond make it impossible for us to be apart for so long?

Pinching my eyes closed, I slid my leg higher, over his hip, bringing every inch of him in contact with my body. He sighed, his breath ruffling my hair, as his arms wound tighter around my frame. The questions all faded away in the presence of the overwhelming love I felt for him. The warmth in my chest - the pull I felt to be closer, hold tighter – soothed me, reminded me of what the two of us shared.

It was going to be tough, but we'd make it through whatever separation was necessary. We had to.

I took a deep breath, relishing the way his warm, sweet scent calmed my heart and mind. There were only two words that needed to be said, two words that could give both of us the confidence to face September head on. I pulled myself up his body, dragging my hip along the length of his erection, until I could place my forehead against his temple.

When my body lay on his, touching nothing but the man below me, I stilled...feeling, absorbing, loving. Cheek-to-cheek and chest-on-chest, I breathed him in. The delicate fragrance of devotion enveloped us - serene yet complex, hinting subtlety of pipe tobacco, hydrangeas and something else. Something so true, so real, it brought tears to my eyes.

Something that reminded me of the feeling of faith.

My emotions felt pure, no lingering confusion in the way. No worry over Emmett's words or wondering about Edward's family, no faltering, no ambiguity, no fear. My faith bloomed in Edward – in his honesty and openness. In the understanding that, whatever outside forces needed to be addressed, the two of us were a unit...a team. There would never be another for me, and I would spend the rest of my days making sure he knew it.

This was it...just us.

He lay still, almost frozen, and I wondered briefly if he was experiencing my gift right then - if he could sense the same ribbon of commitment wrapping itself around our souls. The thought that we were sharing this moment made me smile. I pressed my lips to the corner of his jaw before moving up so I could whisper in his ear.

"No doubts, a stór."

I heard his breath catch, felt his heart stutter in his chest, as his arms tightened around me. Faith and trust swirled around us before the sweetness of clover honey blasted into the forefront of my senses. The energy shifted from quiet and peaceful to wanton and needy, and I responded with a shift of my hips and a groan.

He rolled us slowly, ending with my body sprawled on top of his, legs and arms a tangled web. Our breath mingled in quiet puffs when I ran my nose slowly along the ridge of his. His deep, sweet scent drenched me in sensation, making want to touch, to lick, to taste.

Good lord, did I want to taste him.

I felt so connected to him, and not just physically. Our souls entwined much like the bodies they resided in - hearts beating in sync, breathing each other in. We lay wrapped in and around the other, clinging and grasping, yet not nearly close enough.

Was there even such a thing as close enough?

We moaned quietly as our lips found their way home, coming together in gentle caresses. Mouths opened...love and breath and life twined, suffused and finally saturated. Unlike in the music room, the sensations around us never grew to an uncomfortable level, never distracted me from the pure joy of my body against Edward's. The energy felt passionate yet gentle, intense yet not overwhelming. Intimate, affectionate…sensual.

"We'll figure it out," he murmured breathlessly when he tilted his head back, breaking our kiss. I licked and sucked my way down his neck, my hands roaming over his chest. "It'll…oh," the muscles under my fingers tightened as I rolled his nipple slowly, "be tough but…we can…" He trailed off as I crawled lower, gripping the hem of his t-shirt and pushing it up.

"Off." I brought my hands back to his skin and spread my fingers over his chest, covering. He felt so warm, so strong. I licked my way down his sternum, tasting the desire on his skin, pausing to bite along the bottom of his ribcage. He released me just long enough to yank his t-shirt over his head, arching his back. I bit harder in response, teeth sinking into masculine curve, mirroring his movements as he settled back onto the couch.

I continued my trek down his body - tickling, teasing, licking across his abs. His soft moans and grunts encouraged me while the air around us surged with sexual energy. My hands moved lower, to his hips, loving the way his muscles flexed as he rotated slowly against me.

My mouth reached the scar on his abdomen, following the track of raised flesh with my lips. His body stilled immediately, his panting breaths momentarily frozen. I didn't stop, didn't even pause as I worshipped the mark with my lips, my tongue. He needed to understand this didn't scare me, didn't repulse me. I knew he thought of it as something ugly, something he needed to hide away and be ashamed of, but I didn't agree.

This scar, this evidence of the darkest moment of his life, meant he had been saved. It meant he had been given another chance. It meant he had survived what his father had not.

It meant I hadn't lost him before I was even given the chance to know him.

I shook my head to clear the dark thoughts swirling in my mind. As he trembled beneath me, I shifted lower to continue bestowing attention on his scar...and beyond. He groaned and breathed harder as my nose skimmed along the skin under his navel. His sounds, his uncontrollable reactions to my ministrations, drove me wild, and I quickly found myself moaning as my tongue met his flesh once again.

Moving slowly, I curled my fingers underneath the waistband of his pants, pulling the fabric away from his skin. I nuzzled against the hair there, breathing deeply. He smelled like man – heat and want, desire and sin. I wanted to taste him, suck him...devour him.

"Bella." His hands moving over the back of my head and shoulders quickly, as if wanting to touch as much of me as possible. The head of his erection bumped against my chin. I smiled wickedly and tilted my head up so I could see his face. He stared back at me, mouth slightly open, eyes on fire.

"Yes, Edward?" I whispered as I shifted just a little lower, still watching him. He made a strangled sound in his throat as I closed my teeth around the edge of his pants, pulling back until the button popped open. "Did you want me to stop?"

He shook his head quickly as I bit down carefully on the tab of his zipper, pulling it down with me as I crawled backwards to kneel on the floor. His hands gripped my shoulders, steadying me.

"Bella." His voice sounded deep, mellow – the warm leather feel of it instantly brought to mind the last time I had noticed that tone. In my trailer, in my bed, his hand between my legs, the scent of cashmere and honey surrounding me. My entire body began to tingle as I realized how much I wanted from him - wanted to hear him surrender, wanted to feel him tremble against me as the pleasure surged through him, wanted to run my tongue along him until his taste overtook all else…

Fuck, I wanted to see his face when he came.

I wrapped my fingers around the waistband of his pants and boxer briefs, pulling them slowly down around his hips. I couldn't remove them without his help, and he seemed reluctant to let me continue. His face looked strained, his hands clamping on my shoulders as he stopped breathing. I could feel the tension rolling off him, and I tilted my head in question.

"Maybe," he said quietly, licking his lips and looking around the room. "Maybe we should move this to my bedroom. It's a little…bright…out here." I didn't respond, didn't even look away, as I tried to figure out what just happened. His right hand moved off my shoulder, his arm angling across his hip, hiding. It seemed an almost unconscious gesture, unintentional. Yet that movement, that small tell, was enough to pull all the pieces of the puzzle together. Stopping, saying it was too bright, covering his hip - it was all about his scars.

I waited until his eyes met mine again, drowning me in the depth of his discomfort. I smiled softly in response, gently moving his arm from over his hip. He resisted at first, then allowed me to push his arm to the side as he took a deep, shaky breath.

"Relax, a stór." I rubbed his thighs, stroked my hands up over his hips to his abdomen, then brought them back to the edge of his pants. "It's just me, just you and me." I pressed my parted lips to his right leg, exhaling so he could feel the warmth through the fabric. His breathing grew rougher as I worked my way up his leg, until my lips met the soft cotton of his briefs through the open zipper of his pants.

"Oh God," he groaned, watching me. I pulled on the fabric again, but this time he lifted his hips off the couch up so I could remove the garments. One long, pale leg, then the other, appeared from under the concealment of the cloth – muscular, slightly hairy and totally male.

I kissed and nibbled along the side of his leg as his breathing calmed, quieted. Lips, tongue and teeth played along the scars of his accident, tracing the tracks from his many surgeries. They told me things he hadn't yet, stories of his pain and recovery, his weakness and strength. I would wait for those stories, wait until he felt comfortable enough to tell me, but I refused to wait for this. He needed my approval, and I needed to offer it to him.

"My scars…" He looked cautious, wary, as I raised my eyes to meet his. I shook my head slightly and dropped my lips back to his thigh so I could absorb more stories.

"They're beautiful," I murmured against his skin. "You're beautiful. Just let me." I caressed his leg, played my fingers along the muscles as I kissed each and every bump and mark.

"Let me show you how beautiful you are."

My hand rubbed back and forth along the top of his leg, twisting toward his inner thigh occasionally, enjoying the feeling of his skin under mine. I loved the quiet sounds of pleasure he made, loved hearing his breath catch and his little moans. His arms shifted, bringing his hands to my cheeks, my neck, as I moved down his body.

Starting at his left ankle, I trailed my fingers lightly up his legs, following every curve, exploring every divot. When I reached the groove where his thigh transitioned to his hip, I altered my path, tickling my fingertips along the hard length in front of me before retreating again. His body tensed, and he drew a shaky breath.

I moved my hands to his right ankle, copying my movements from his left leg. My fingers continued their upward climb along his calf. This time, when I reached his knee, his entire body stiffened as if in pain, but I knew it was from fear.

"Just relax, a stór." I kissed the side of his knee, rubbing my nose upward through the dusting of dark hair on his thigh. "Let me show you."

The smell of him mixing with the honey around me made me ache, made me want to wrap myself around him, but this time was about him…all for him. I pressed my fingers lightly into the sensitive skin on the back of his knee - holding, grounding - but didn't move them any higher. He needed time to adjust, and I had enough patience to let him have it.

His muscles eventually relaxed, and I slowly moved up his body again. Fingers, lips and tongue adored every inch, catalogued every mark, each scar receiving equal amounts of attention. I rubbed all over his leg, loving every grunt and groan as I pressed my fingers into his muscles, working him into a frenzy while relaxing him at the same time. When I reached the top once again, my fingers rested against the base of his erection. I looked up at him and smiled.

"What do you call it?" I whispered, curious. He furrowed his brow as if I had just asked him to solve the problem of the national debt. "This," I said as I wrapped my hand around him, stroking all the way up to the tip then back down. "What word do you use for it?"

"Um…I don't...really know." He shook his head and licked his lips, his eyes bouncing from mine to my hands as they slid down his legs to rest just above his knees. The disappointment in them when my fingers moved away from his erection was more than enough to confirm he wanted this, wanted me to give him this pleasure. I smirked a little.

"I know you have to call it _something_," I said, keeping my voice soft and quiet. I slid my hands up infinitesimally, flexing my fingers against his skin as I spread them over the sides of his thighs. "Just imagine it. You're all alone here, thinking of me, wishing you could feel my hands on you." I moved my hands up a bit more, feeling the first of his many scars on the outside of his right leg. His eyes bore into mine, dark and intense. "You're hard, ready for me, dreaming of squeezing into my hot, wet pussy."

He groaned and dropped his head back as I said the word pussy, and I took advantage of his distraction to move my hands higher along his thighs, leaning my head down until my mouth was against his skin.

"If I called you right then, right as you're about to wrap your hand around yourself," I flicked my tongue against the scars on the side of his leg, tracing the path they formed, "as you're about to stroke yourself. What would you call it?" My fingers felt the bumps and grooves as my lips and tongue caressed the damaged skin. Edward's head dropped forward, his eyes burning into mine while his hands clutched at my shoulders.

"Tell me, Edward," I whispered as my cheek brushed against him, silk against steel. I nuzzled the length of him, my lips barely brushing his sensitive flesh. "Tell me what you call this long, hard -"

"Cock," he said breathlessly, interrupting me. His fingers bit into my shoulders, gripping me as I wrapped my hand around him and dragged my tongue around the ridge. I moaned as I tongued his slit, and his entire body shivered at the contact.

"Hmmm, cock it is, then." I quickly wrapped my lips around him and flattened my tongue along the bottom, sliding down slowly. My hands gripped his thighs, holding him in place as I took him all the way into my mouth, rolling my tongue from back to front. He groaned loudly and flexed upward, his hands moving to tangle in my hair. The light pulls on my hair, the pressure of him as his head hit the back of my throat, the deep, rumbly groans of pleasure emanating from somewhere over my head all told me how close he was. I moaned around him, knowing he could feel the vibrations, and he grunted softly as he thrust against my mouth.

The taste on my tongue - tangy and deep, dark and masculine – spurred me on, making me want more, work harder. I bobbed my head along his length, sliding my lips over the flesh as he begged and moaned above me. I slid my hand under my chin, cupping him, rolling his balls gently as he gyrated and thrust toward me. His responses made me move faster, suck harder, squeeze tighter.

He groaned deeply. "I'm gonna…I'm…"

I wrapped my fingers around the top of his balls, gently squeezing while my thumb pressed on his perineum. Tilting my head a bit, I watched him as he surrendered to the sensations I was giving him – mouth open, eyes squeezed shut, hands gripping my hair. Fuck, he was so beautiful.

I slid my tongue along the vein on the bottom of his cock, increasing the suction of my mouth as I did. Three more passes from me and one violent thrust from him was all it took. He came in the back of my mouth, groaning and pulsing as I swallowed around him greedily. When his twitching stopped and he began to grow soft again, I released him slowly, moving my hands and lips back to his thighs.

I rubbed and caressed again, placing soft, sweet kisses from hip to knee. Watching him shudder in pleasure, knowing it was because of what I was doing to him, had made me feel desperate and hungry for him, but I would wait. This afternoon was for him, about him, and I wanted to make sure he understood that.

Edward's breathing was finally returning to normal when he reached down to pull me up along his body by my arms. I slid my chest against him as I rose from the floor, rubbing over his softened cock with my breasts, smiling as he shivered at the touch.

"That was…" he whispered when my face was even with his. I kissed him gently, dusting his mouth with tiny kisses and nibbles. "Mmmm, that was so…"

"Shhh." I hushed him, not needing the validation. I saw his face, watched as he surrendered to the pleasure I brought him. I already knew more than he could ever tell me about how it felt.

He kissed me deeply, his tongue exploring my mouth with fervor. I wrapped my arms around his neck and angled my head, kissing him back with everything I could. His hands dragged down my back to my ass, grabbing and pulling me against his hips. I loved when he did that, when he grabbed and pulled and damn near possessed me with his hands.

Our kiss eventually calmed, our lips breaking apart as we both gasped for air. I finally lay on top of him, my head on his chest and his hands still on my ass, kneading. I felt incredibly sleepy, and the backside massage Edward was giving me did nothing to keep me awake.

"Thank you," he whispered sleepily. I tightened my hold on him, turning my head to press a kiss against his tattoo. I laid my head back against his chest, closing my eyes as I relaxed into his embrace.

"I smell cookies," I whispered. Edward didn't respond, and his deep, even breaths told me he had already fallen asleep. I smiled and snuggled closer. The cookies would have to wait.

**xXxXx**

Later that evening we lay on the couch, once again curled around each other. Edward's hands stroked lazily along my back, under my shirt, while my fingers ran through the small amount of hair on his chest. I could feel a sense of calm surrounding us, lightness and hope dancing against my skin. But even in my relaxed state, my thoughts strayed to the confrontation with Emmett the day before.

"What did he mean?" I asked. Edward's head moved back, his sleepy eyes gazing into mine. "When Emmett was asking you about your father living past thirty." He sighed, releasing my shoulder to run a hand through his unruly hair.

"My dad died when he was thirty-eight. The three generations before him didn't live as long." His arm felt like an iron band around me, the muscles stiff with tension. I ran my hands up and down his back in an effort to calm him.

"How did they die?" I asked quietly. His eyes held mine, full of worry, for several moments. The silence felt heavy, weighted down by the tension radiating from him. When he finally spoke, his voice was dark, quiet…barely more than an angry whisper.

"My grandfather and great-grandfather were murdered; no one knows what happened to my great-great-grandfather. He just…disappeared."

I gasped, unable to comprehend the tragedies that had befallen this family. Three generations murdered. Elizabeth may not have killed Edward's father directly, but I had no doubt he'd be alive if it wasn't for her. And the one who disappeared; I wondered about that – did he just vanish, or were signs left behind indicating foul play?

"How…why?" I felt my eyebrows draw together as questions and confusion dominated my thoughts. Edward sighed and rolled his head back so he could look at the ceiling.

"It doesn't matter," he said. I began to argue, but he silenced me with a hard look. "You have to understand, they were all conmen. Three generations of Masens spent their lives stealing and lying their way through the world. My dad wanted more, wanted a better life for himself and his family. He did all the right things – went to school, found a solid career, paid his taxes." He huffed and shifted his gaze back to the ceiling above. "Fat lot of good it did him. In the end…"

His voice trailed off but not before I heard the anger in his tone. The more I learned about his family, the more questions I had, yet there was no doubt in my mind telling his history would be a difficult process for Edward. I needed to proceed cautiously, not push him too hard.

"You know what I think?" I asked. He turned to glance at me, and I pulled myself up so I could caress his lips with mine. "I think we should un-ass this couch and raid that kitchen of yours." He smiled a bit, and I grinned back at him. "C'mon, your guest is starving!"

We spent the next hour in the kitchen – talking, laughing and cooking. After investigating the contents of Edward's refrigerator, I decided on a quick dinner of breaded pork chops and sweet potatoes. We worked closely together, sharing one counter instead of spreading out across the room. Every so often, I would ask a question regarding his family. He always answered, but I never asked more than one at a time. He needed to do this slowly.

"Why does this legend only involve the Masen men? What about the women of the family?" I asked while he collected the ingredients for the breading.

"All of the women married into the family. As far as I know, there hasn't been a female born into the family in over a hundred years." He poured the breadcrumbs into a shallow dish as I whipped the eggs.

"Do you have any smoked paprika?"

When I finally put the chops in the skillet, I chose another question. "Were you close with your grandmother?"

Edward shook his head, leaning against the sink. "If you mean Grandma Masen, then no. She died before I was born."

I nodded and bumped him out of the way with my hip so I could wash the prep dishes.

"Why don't you set the table while I clean up?"

As Edward pulled the potatoes from the oven, I turned my back to him and asked cautiously, "How did your Grandma Masen die?" I heard him sigh and flinched, ready for him to refuse to answer.

After a tense few seconds, he answered, "Suicide. She shot my grandfather and his mistress, then killed herself."

I turned around, shocked. Edward stood in front of the stove, shoulders hunched, muscles tensed. I stepped up behind him, leaning my forehead between his shoulder blades.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. He took a deep breath, and I placed my hands on either side of his waist. We stood quietly as his posture slowly relaxed.

"I think these are done," he said quietly, indicating the chops. I nodded against him and placed a quick kiss to his spine before sliding around him.

"I've got it. You go ahead and sit down."

I didn't ask another question about Edward's family over dinner. His mood seemed pensive as we ate. I told stories from my life with the carnival, and he made little comments occasionally, but the conversation felt slightly forced. As we finished eating, it finally failed completely, leaving in an uncomfortable silence.

After several minutes, I finally grabbed my plate and stood, ready for this meal to be over. Edward grabbed my arm, halting me.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, his eyes seemingly locked on the table in front of him. I sighed, wishing I knew the easiest way through this situation.

"No, it's my fault." I set my plate back on the table and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He pulled me between his knees and rested his forehead on my shoulder. "I shouldn't have pushed. I'm just trying to understand." I dragged one hand through his hair, scratching along his scalp, while the other rubbed his neck. "I just can't figure out why Emmett would say those things to you."

I hadn't told Edward yet about what Emmett said when we'd been alone in the trailer. I wasn't trying to hide the information from him. I just wanted to try to figure it out myself before dragging Edward into it. Emmett's words still didn't make sense, and I was beginning to doubt they ever would without explanation from the big lug.

Edward huffed and pulled away, locking his eyes with mine. The amount of anger I could see in them made my breath catch.

"He wants you to stop seeing me, Bella."

I shook my head and opened my mouth to argue, but he placed a single finger against my lips to silence me.

"You think of him as a friend, as a brother, so you don't see it, but he's been trying to figure out a way to get between us since we arrived in Alabama. He's pissed at me for hurting you, and he's even a little pissed at you for staying with me. Every time he and I end up alone together, he makes these comments – trying to prove to me that he knows you better than I do. Making sure I know how happy you were before I came along." He stopped, his anger melting into doubt. "He wants to make sure I know you'd be better off without me in your life."

"He's wrong." My voice sounded firm and sure even to my own ears, and I hoped Edward could hear the confidence in my words. He smiled slightly and tilted his head.

"I know." His green eyes stared into mine, embracing me with his gaze. "Emmett thinks he knows everything about you, but he's wrong." He leaned forward, kissing the corner of my mouth softly before resting his cheek against mine. "He doesn't know you smell like flowers when you're happy or how you wrinkle your nose in your sleep. He doesn't know you have a small birthmark on the base of your spine or the back of your right knee is more ticklish than your left."

He pulled me tighter against him, his lips brushing against my ear. In a voice so low, so quiet, I had to strain to hear him, he whispered, "He doesn't know you smell like butterscotch when I'm inside you."

I shivered in response to his words, feeling the energy around us shift. He stood slowly, forcing me to take a step back as his body rubbed against mine. I couldn't speak, couldn't tell him how much I wanted him right then. How much I wanted to feel every tiny part of him.

"Emmett doesn't know how you feel about me, but I do." Edward kissed his way down my jaw to my chin, nibbling gently.

"What?" I smiled softly, lost in the sensations of his lips moving over my skin. He wrapped both arms around me tighter, bringing his lips to mine. My tongue slid out to meet his, warm and sweet, still tasting like the tea we drank during dinner. I kissed him relentlessly, and he responded in kind.

"Say it again," he whispered when we finally broke apart. Panting, I rubbed my nose against his, loving the feel of his breath washing across my face.

"Say what again?" I murmured, licking his top lip as his hands moved to grab my ass firmly, pulling my hips into his. I moaned when I felt his erection pressing into my stomach.

"Somewhere in the middle of all that nonsense you spouted earlier, when you attacked me after talking to Esme, I heard you say you loved me," he said. I looked into his eyes, smiling when I saw nothing but hope and love there. "Le do thoil, chéadsearc. Say it again for me."

I held his gaze for a beat, smiling softly. We still had so much to talk about, so many unanswered questions. But I knew, no matter how the conversation went, we would end up together on the other side of it. We were bonded, fated to be together, and apparently already in love with each other. I placed those things in front of my curiosity, knowing they were much more important to me than a history lesson. This wasn't an end to my inquiries, just a momentary break from the heartache they caused.

I stretched up and placed my lips against his ear, whispering softly, "I love you, Edward."

I grunted as Edward brought his mouth to mine forcefully, thrusting his tongue into my mouth. The energy I always felt between us surged, shocking me with the intensity of the pulsations against my skin. I felt the goose bumps rise on his arms, his body shiver as he gasped, and I knew he could feel the same thing, the same energy rolling, throbbing, conquering.

He pushed me back against the wall, his hands sliding all along the sides of my body while his lips and tongue took control of my mouth. Honey and wildflowers invaded my senses, making my heart race with anticipation. As Edward's hands stroked over my breasts, I could have sworn I noticed the scent of cookies baking for just a second.

We kissed and panted, grinding and swearing - his hands fisted in my hair, holding… my hands gripped his hips, pulling. His leg moved in between mine, angling his hips so his erection pressed against my hipbone. The obvious sign of his want, his need, made me moan loudly. My leg wrapped around his thigh, sliding along the fabric of his pants as I tried to move closer, feel more.

I dragged my hands to the hem of my shirt, pulling it over my head quickly. His followed closely, and I tossed it toward the stove just as his hands circled my breasts, pinching and pulling at my nipples. I moved my hands to the waistband of his pants, knowing there was nothing but Edward underneath them. He grunted and jerked when I ran the heel of my hand along his cock, his hands sliding underneath my shorts when I squeezed the head through the fabric. We worked together to remove the rest of our clothing, chuckling when one of us stumbled or lost our balance, hands moving over each inch of flesh as it became exposed.

His arms wrapped tightly around me, nothing but skin-on-skin. I grabbed his ass and pulled him into me - wanting, needing to feel more of him, to feel him all over me. He pushed me backward, encouraging me to hop up on the stainless steel table along the chalk wall. I shivered when cold metal met my hot flesh but complied eagerly. I pulled his mouth to mine once I settled at the edge, his erection finally rubbing me where I wanted it, where I craved it. His arms swept away plates and silverware, the resulting crash as they hit the floor pushing both of us to hold tighter, move faster.

The energy around us felt positively alive with desperation. Our movements weren't smooth, our bodies bumping into furniture and each other as we struggled to come together on the cold table, but it didn't matter. Making love with Edward was wonderful and passionate, more sensual and erotic than I had ever imagined sex could be. But that wouldn't be enough, wouldn't be what I wanted. I needed to him to fuck me. Right now.

He entered me in one thrust, both of us groaning at the sensation, at the heat between us. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, clinging and panting as his body surged and retreated. Pushing, pulling, sweating, needing…completing. My back slid along the cold table, my head occasionally hitting the wall behind, but it didn't matter. All I could focus on, the only thing in the world my body needed in that moment, was the feel of Edward's body over me, inside of me.

And as I came around him, as the colors and light exploded behind my eyes and the scent of cashmere caressed my senses, I chanted the only words my heart, my brain and my very soul could focus on.

"Love you, love you, love you, love you."

**xXxXx**

We spent the following morning at Navy Pier, watching the tourists meandering by while we sat on a bench near the beer garden. The sun burned down on the city, but the wind off the lake kept us feeling comfortable. On the way down the pier, Edward had stopped to buy us a couple of Italian ices and a small bag of popcorn. I enjoyed feeding him individual kernels, his tongue wrapping around my fingers to lick off the buttery topping left behind. He looked like a little boy who lost his puppy when I finally showed him the empty bag. I secretly wished we had bought the large size. After a couple of hours in the sun, he groaned and stood, pulling me to my feet with him.

"We should start back soon," he murmured, his lips brushing across my cheek as he pulled me close. I shivered and smiled, gripping his hand in between mine.

"What time is this party?" I stepped back, stretching onto my toes and twisting. My muscles ached a little from sitting for so long. I caught Edward staring at me, his eyes moving sinuously from my breasts to my hips and back again. When I finally caught his gaze, I smiled at him and crossed my arms over my chest. He shrugged and grinned back at me.

"You're beautiful."

I rolled my eyes and reached for his hand. "C'mon, Romeo. I have a hot date with a straightening iron."

"I thought you had a hot date with some local guy?" he said, smirking at me. I grinned as we started walking back toward the shore. A chill crawled up my spine, and I looked over my shoulder quickly as if I would spot someone blowing cold air on my back.

"I do, but it's after my date with the iron. The only way - oof." I grunted as a large man in a Hawaiian shirt rushed past, bumping into my shoulder and throwing me off balance.

"Shit," Edward exclaimed, grabbing my arm and steadying me. "Are you okay?"

I nodded quickly, turning to look after the man that hit me. He seemed to have disappeared amongst the crowd, but I caught the eye of a young woman standing near the roasted almonds booth. She stared at me for a moment, and I felt a small tug at my memory as if I should know her. Something about her face felt familiar, but I couldn't place her. Her dark red hair blew around her face as she turned away, walking toward the steps leading to the upper level, leaving me with a feeling of unease.

"Bella?" I turned my eyes to meet Edward's. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"I'm fine," I said quietly, suddenly uncomfortable in the crowd of people. I felt another chill run up my spine. It was as if I could feel someone's eyes on me, their gaze sliding along my skin. The thought made me sick to my stomach. "Let's go home before someone knocks me on my ass. I'd hate to miss the party because of a sprained ankle or something." Edward wrapped his arm around my waist as I glanced over my shoulder once more.

**xXxXx**

I stepped out of the master bath two hours later, having washed, dried, straightened, plucked, shaved and polished every inch of myself. I checked over my appearance once more in the full-length mirror. My silk sundress clung to my chest before flaring over my hips to my knees. The bright, abstract flowers contrasting nicely with my pale skin, and the matching belt under my breasts accented my curves. I wore my hair down and straight, the purple locks twisted to lie under the brown and tucked behind my ears, held in place with bobby pins.

Edward mentioned this was a 'thank you' luncheon for the committee of a charity event hosted at Wrigley Field. There would be event planners attending that helped him find gigs playing at events around the city, and I didn't want to give them any reason to think less of Edward because of me. My dress was bright but stylish, my hair tame, my makeup subtle and my shoes…well, my shoes were five inch, gold-metallic stiletto sandals, but they were beautiful…and expensive. I just hoped they were appropriate.

I grabbed my clutch off the bed, taking only my identification, credit card, cash and lipstick with me. I thought once more about taking my phone but knew it wouldn't fit in the small bag, so I reluctantly left it on the nightstand. Taking a deep breath to settle my nerves, I walked out toward the foyer where I knew Edward was waiting for me.

"The cab is here," he called when he heard the click of my heels on the hardwood. "Are you…" His words died as he turned away from the intercom and looked me over. I stood across from him – shifting my weight to one leg and bending the knee of the other - hoping he liked what he saw. This would be my first real attempt at fitting into his world, and I wanted it to go well. I already felt as if my dress were too flamboyant as I saw his gray twill pants and white button-up shirt. His wild hair and brilliant green eyes stood out against the subdued colors he wore, and I found myself slightly breathless as I gazed at him.

With slow, measured steps, Edward walked over to me, his eyes trailing up and down my body. I felt my heart pickup, the energy between us sizzling softly against my skin, as he moved closer. There was a confidence in his gait, a surety I had never noticed before. It was incredibly sexy. When he was near enough to touch, he tilted his head to the side and looked at me curiously.

"Is this okay?" I asked, suddenly extremely unsure and self-conscious. He shook his head.

"Not quite." He moved me to stand in front of the mirror, both of us looking into the glass as he stood behind me. My heart sunk, assuming he didn't like my dress or my hair. I regretted not packing a little black dress. I had thought about it but decided in the end to bring something I would feel more comfortable in, more like myself. Perhaps that had been a mistake.

Edward's eyes met mine in the reflection as his hands moved to my hair. Gently, he pulled the hidden purple locks from behind my ears, sliding the pins out and laying them on the table in front of us. Once he removed all the pins, he combed his fingers across the top of my head so my hair would fall naturally around my shoulders, the purple too obvious to miss. He smiled softly at me, trailing his fingers down the length of my hair to rest on my shoulders. I grinned back at him, my confidence returning under his loving gaze.

"Now you're perfect." He kissed my bare shoulder, and I felt my knees weaken in a delicious way. "C'mon, beautiful. Your carriage awaits."

**xXxXx**

The reception was held in the Batter's Eye at Wrigley Field, overlooking the ballpark. There had to be almost a hundred people in the club, and I found myself clinging to Edward's hand like a lifeline anytime we stepped away from our table. The scent of the crowd was too strong, overpowering even Edward's calming aroma, leaving me increasingly tense. I tried to force myself to relax. I laughed and chatted with the other guests at our table, keeping Edward's hand firmly encased between my own. It was a struggle, though, to stay in my seat when all I really wanted to do was crawl into Edward's lap and bury my nose in his neck. That would just have to wait until we made it back home.

It surprised me how easy it was to think of Edward's condo as home. Nothing about it reminded me of anywhere I lived previously, yet it felt familiar and comfortable. I could see myself there - curled up with Edward on the couch while a fire warmed the living room, writing grocery lists and little love notes to each other on the chalk wall in the kitchen, lying on the floor of the music room while he played his piano for me. I could be happy there…we could be happy there.

Of course, I could also see us living in my cabin in Tennessee, watching the sunrise over the mountains everyday. Life in the Jayco was also there, traveling from town to town and running my game. We would eventually have to decide, and I wondered what sort of sacrifices the two of us would have to make to agree on a choice.

"Penny for your thoughts," Edward whispered in my ear, leaning close and kissing my jaw sweetly. I smiled and shook my head a little.

"Just thinking about you…about us. Our future." I leaned back, wanting to stare into those expressive, green eyes that warmed my heart. He smiled softly at me and trailed a finger along the side of my face.

"Ours…together." He leaned into me and kissed me tenderly, barely touching his lips to mine. "No doubts." I pressed my lips to his once more, but this time he opened his mouth and deepened the kiss. He pulled away after a minute, grinning at me.

"No doubts, a stór."

Toward the end of the reception, we were standing in line at the bar, along with about half the other guests, when Edward spotted Angela across the room.

"There they are," Edward said, watching the couple moving toward the doors leading to the patio. "I wanted to say thank you to Ben for getting these tickets for us." I couldn't tell if the couple was leaving or just stepping outside for some air

"Go," I replied, pushing against his arm. "I'll grab us a couple of lemonades and meet you over there." He looked back and forth, and I knew he was battling his need to say thank you with his desire to be a gentleman. "Just go; I'll be fine." I leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth, smiling at not having to stretch up as far. I made a mental note to wear heels around him more often.

"Are you sure?" He seemed concerned, but his body was already leaning in the direction of his friends. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Of course I'm sure," I said, smiling. "Go, before they leave." He gave me a quick kiss before weaving his way through the crowd of people around us. My nerves surged as he moved away, but I took a deep breath to hold them at bay. I just had to get through the line, then I could find him again. I knew I could do it.

The line moved quickly, and within a few minutes I was carrying our drinks across the room. I didn't immediately spot Edward but kept moving toward where I had noticed Angela earlier, mentally trying to calm my erratically beating heart. Halfway across the room, stretching onto my toes to look over the heads of the guests milling about, a head of dark red hair and a piercing blue stare caught my attention.

The woman, the same one from Navy Pier, stood ten feet away, watching me intently. My blood turned to ice in my veins as a sense of fear enveloped me. I desperately wanted to find Edward, but I couldn't take my eyes away from her face. That same sense of recognition tickled my memories, but I still didn't know why.

She was a tall woman, perhaps close to six feet, with thick, dark hair and those ice-blue eyes. She looked to be about my age, perhaps a little older. I noticed a large burn scar on her right bicep, shiny and wrinkled, disappearing under the edge of her t-shirt. I kept watching her, waiting for her to react in some way, but she stood firm. Her gaze never dropped, her body never betrayed her intentions. Something about the lack of emotion in her eyes, the way she stared blankly at me, made the fear I felt more intense, and I gasped as it shifted into a full-fledged sense of terror.

It wasn't until I heard the crash and felt the cold liquid hit my legs that I realized my grip on the glasses in my hands had slipped. People backed away from me, looking down to avoid the mess as the lemonade spread across the floor. The room felt stifling, the silence suffocating, as I struggled to gain control of my emotions. I could feel the painful energy racing along my skin, and I knew if so many people didn't surround me, I would smell the acrid scent of ozone.

Suddenly, the redhead glanced past me, and I thought I noticed her face blanch at whatever she saw. Before I could react, before I could find the calm I needed, she slid between two other guests and disappeared. The sense of terror lifted almost immediately, and I wobbled on my heels as my muscles finally relaxed.

"Fuck," I whispered, looking after her. The crowd was too big, the room too filled, for me to be able to track her movements. For a split second, I thought I noticed the scent of thunder, reminding me of Edward. I realized I needed to find him immediately, to make sure the redhead wasn't near him. Unfortunately, I wasn't allowed the opportunity to look for him.

"That language is entirely inappropriate, though I guess it's to be expected, considering your background." The harshness of the female voice made the hairs on my arms stand on end. The sound itself was familiar, as I had heard a similar voice almost everyday for the past seven years. The tone, on the other hand, was something I had never experienced before – icy, cruel and filled with fury.

I turned slowly, knowing what I was about to see, yet praying I was wrong. The resemblance between the woman and Esme was striking – same auburn hair, same hazel eyes, same porcelain skin. But that's were the similarities stopped. Because never in the seven years I had known Esme Brandon had I ever seen her as angry as the woman before me.

"I'm Elizabeth Masen. I understand you're the carnie currently fucking my son."

.

.

.


	20. Snake Oil

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

.

"_I'm Elizabeth Masen. I understand you're the carnie currently fucking my son."_

_._

_._

"I'm sorry?" I responded, unable to believe the audacity of the woman before me. She subtly stepped closer, effectively blocking out the crowd of people around us. The action seemed forced, intentionally unintentional, and Edward's words regarding her power suddenly screamed through my head.

_One touch, every decision._

"I would've expected you to understand such simple language," Elizabeth said quietly.

I flinched as her individual scent enveloped me. The dark and heavy odor of thunder met my senses first – strong and powerful with the tiniest hint of ozone. Hidden behind it, barely discernible, teased another aroma, one I wasn't familiar with. It slithered and oozed, spreading slowly through the air – slimy, sticky, nauseatingly saccharine.

"This is an important event for my Edward," Elizabeth said. Her eyes darted up and around my head, seemingly inspecting my hair. "I would have thought he'd bring someone more suitable for such an occasion or at least insisted you do something about," she lazily flicked her hand, indicating my hair, "all of that."

I felt one moment of self-doubt, one tiny second of uncertainty, before the memory of Edward pulling my purple strands from behind my ears blanketed me in warmth and calm. Her words were not a reflection of Edward's feelings; they were her way of trying to undermine the bond between us. She didn't know, probably couldn't comprehend, how impossible it would be for her to tear us apart with words. We had no doubts.

While Elizabeth sipped her cocktail, I took a moment to really look her over. At first glance, Edward's mother appeared to be a woman of wealth – from the elegant, chandelier earrings tickling her shoulders to the emerald silk dress wrapping around her sinuously to the designer shoes on her feet. The details, though, gave away the truth – a slight tarnish mark on the left earring, a popped seam on the neckline of her dress, a scuff on her pumps. Nothing quite as perfect as she wanted others to believe. Elizabeth Masen was putting on an act. That knowledge explained the saccharine smell following her. She lived a life based on untruths, trying to pass herself off as something she wasn't, something she could never be. She was the human equivalent of snake oil.

"I have to admit," she said, leaning toward me, close enough to smell the alcohol on her breath. "It doesn't really surprise me that he'd be willing to crawl between your legs. I'm sure plenty of men before him fell prey to your…_physical_ _charms_."

Her hand twitched, her fingers moving toward me before she curled them into a fist. It was hardly noticeable, something most people would have ignored, but I saw, and I understood. That was her tell – one tiny fidget had just told me more than her words could about what she truly wanted, why she chose to confront me instead of chasing after her son.

_One touch, every decision._

"I had hoped Edward would make wiser decisions than his father," she said dismissively. My anger burned brighter and hotter at the casual way she brought up Edward's father, but I kept it hidden. She shrugged and glanced around the room, feigning nonchalance. The way her eyes constantly returned to mine, and her subtle inching toward me, though, belied her calm. She was a woman who wanted something.

"My own Edward thought he could offer me a _better_ life. No more traveling, no more conning." She stared over my shoulder, looking detached from the conversation. "I tried to tell him. I explained what life as a carnie really meant, but he refused to believe me. And now my naïve son will have to learn the same hard lesson." Her eyes moved back to mine, almost glowing with anger. "He can fuck a gypsy until she's blue in the face, but his dick will never be more important than the road."

I blinked. For one second, time froze. A feeling of calm and quiet settled over me as the world spun out of control on the periphery. I stood motionless, the eye of an emotional storm - waiting, absorbing, preparing for the explosion. Elizabeth's hypocritical and disgustingly crass comment set in motion a shift within me. I felt it, I welcomed it, and I found myself stepping out of the peaceful space, directly into a massive inferno of rage.

My hands trembled as the negative energy around me surged over my skin. It grew stronger with every passing moment, surprising me with its intensity. I embraced the feelings, almost enjoying the pain they brought. Elizabeth thought she could surprise me - singling me out, catching me off guard. She probably thought her vile words would make me lash out, giving her the access she desired.

_One touch, every decision._

As much as I wanted to react that way, to scream and yell and hit, I knew I couldn't. One touch, one brief moment of skin-to-skin contact, and she'd know everything. My life would no longer be my own and, by association, neither would Edward's. I could not allow her to gain that kind of power over me.

Elizabeth stared, waiting for a response. I moved my right foot back and shifted to stand at an angle to her, feeling more secure in a defensive stance. Her lips curled into an approximation of a smile, and I knew she mistook my actions. To her, my new position probably looked like I wanted to escape, but I wasn't retreating. I was preparing for battle.

"So tell me something, Isabella. It is Isabella, isn't it?" She paused, cocking her head to the side while I nodded slowly. I took a deep breath, clearing my mind and sinking into the smell of ozone permeating the air. For once, I refused to fight against the power running through me. I accepted it, encouraged it and prepared to use it to my advantage. Elizabeth's eyes glared into mine, my refusal to speak obviously unnerving her.

"What exactly do you think you're going to get out of all this?"

"I…I'm sorry?" I stuttered intentionally. Her eyes dropped to my hands, now shaking roughly against my dress. She smirked, and I internally cheered my success. I wanted her to feel overconfident, to believe she caused the trembling in my hands. The harsh stare, the dismissive way she addressed me, the venom in her voice – all were obviously her attempts to intimidate me, and I needed her to believe her actions were working.

I needed her to underestimate me.

She sighed and looked me up and down. "Is that all you can say? Fuck and I'm sorry?" She shook her head, her gaze lingering on my feet for a beat longer than necessary. "You're not exactly the sharpest pencil in the box, are you?"

Arrogance dripped from her words, but I stayed focused, refusing to react. I needed her to make the first move. Every instinct, every minute of self-defense training I'd endured, told me stand and wait. I fought back a smirk when a look of uncertainty flickered briefly across her face. This was not the moment to gloat. I kept my hands low with my fingers clasped, my elbows resting against my hipbones. Time seemed to slow as the other guests moved around us, too busy with their own conversations to notice our standoff.

When her arm tensed, her hand barely rising, I knew the moment had come. I shifted all my weight to my back foot, my upper body twisting toward hers. The energy crackled along my skin painfully, stronger than I'd ever felt before. When her fingers were even with my elbow and moving toward me, Elizabeth's cool demeanor cracked. A smug smile played on her lips, and her eyes appeared to glow with excitement. She hadn't noticed, hadn't realized my movements were intentional…offensive.

Elizabeth quickly reached for my elbow, but I moved faster. I pulled my arm up and out of the way while twisting on the balls of my feet, essentially throwing my fabric-covered hip in front of her hand. I surrendered completely to the emotions within me — the anger for how she'd treated me, the fear of what one touch of my skin would allow her to see, and an unmistakable need to protect my Edward.

In the split-second before we made contact, I focused on my fíorghrá — his resentment, his pain, his loneliness. She was the cause or catalyst for every moment of his suffering. I would not allow her to use me as a way to hurt him further.

Her hand brushed my hip just before another grabbed my opposite arm, steadying me. Ozone and caramel, burnt hair and thunder crashed together…and I felt it. The one thing that had eluded me since the first time I shocked someone, the one thing I desperately wished for in regards to this aspect of my gift.

Control.

I pushed the energy toward Elizabeth, feeling it burn over my body as it responded. With a crack that could probably be heard over the din from the other guests, it exploded against her fingers. She made an odd squeaking sound and fell backward, the people around her stepping out of the way. The force pushed me back, but I didn't fall. Instead, I felt the warmth of a body against mine, holding me, supporting me, surrounding me in caramel and rain.

Edward's fingers closed over my elbows, his hands shaking. I glanced up apprehensively, but his eyes were on his mother, his jaw tense. He must have noticed my look, because he lowered his chin, never breaking his gaze, and brushed his lips against my temple.

"Are you okay?" He kept his voice low, but the anger behind his words seeped through. I simply nodded as we watched a couple of party-goers assist Elizabeth to her feet. While her attention was otherwise occupied, I took a moment to have a quiet conversation with Edward.

"I need you to trust me, a stór. I know you're pissed off right now and probably want to step in, but you can't." His hands gripped my arms tighter, and I leaned my head back onto his shoulder and turned my face toward his. With my lips barely brushing against his jaw, I whispered, "She wants something, Edward. If you lead with anger, she'll win." I kissed his jaw softly. "Just trust me."

He kissed my temple once more as the crowd around Elizabeth finally started peeling off. When she stood before us again, looking absolutely murderous, I smiled apologetically.

"You know, Edward," I said, adopting a concerned tone of voice. "Maybe you should notify a waiter there's been a spill over here. The floor seems awfully slick, and I'd hate for someone to get hurt."

"Edward," Elizabeth said, her voice low and commanding. Before she could continue, Edward's hands squeezed my arms, and I felt his breath against my ear.

"Are you sure?" he asked quietly, though I was pretty certain Elizabeth heard him. She looked back and forth between the two of us, obviously surprised by the way her son disregarded her.

I nodded, keeping my eyes trained on Elizabeth. "No doubts, but stay close," I whispered, hoping he'd understand. Elizabeth chose to start this fight with me, and I needed to end it on my own terms.

"Don't worry about us," I said in a much louder voice. "I'm sure I can find a way to keep your mother _entertained_."

Her hands clenched into fists. "Edward!" she exclaimed. I felt him kiss my hair, then he released my arms and moved back, completely ignoring his mother. The shock on her face morphed back to fury as she watched him walk away.

"You little bitch," she said, almost hissing her words through her teeth. "I don't know what game you think you're playing here-"

"Edward is not a game to me," I interrupted, narrowing my eyes and spitting my words. She took a step back when I leaned toward her, lowering my voice so the other guests around us wouldn't overhear. "I don't know what you thought you'd accomplish by coming here and ambushing us. I don't know what you hoped to gain or why you would choose to approach me instead of Edward." I stepped forward, following her as she retreated backwards through the crowd. "Whatever you wanted, whatever it was that drove you to make such a spectacle of yourself, is really not important to me. But Edward - his happiness and his comfort – is. I won't let you hurt him."

Shock crossed Elizabeth's face before she smiled smugly. "So it's true," she said, almost as if to herself. "You're the fíorghrá to a Masen. This changes everything." She glanced over my shoulder, and her smile widened. "I look forward to seeing you again, Miss Isabella Marie Swan. Maybe we can have a family reunion of sorts at that little cabin of yours in Tennessee. You'd have to bring Renee and Phil; I'd love to meet them."

I paused, my blood running cold. She knew about my home and my family, and something in the tone of her voice told me she wasn't making idle chitchat. She wanted me to realize what she knew; she wanted to use her knowledge as a warning.

My small delay was all the opportunity she needed to turn and push through the emergency exit. I rushed after her, following her cackling laughter down the stairs. Above me, the door opened and closed again, Edward's voice calling for me. Ignoring him, I chased Elizabeth through another door and out onto the sidewalk behind the ballpark. I slammed into a couple walking, apologizing for my clumsiness as I spun around, looking for Elizabeth. I spotted a flash of auburn hair to my left, and I dashed after it, weaving through the crowd.

A black, four-door Towncar with tinted windows sat idling at the corner of Sheffield and Waveland. As I finally cleared the crowd of locals and tourists walking around the ballpark, the passenger-side doors opened and two men stepped out. They looked like a study in opposites — one small and frail, with long, greasy hair and pale, papery skin. The other had a darker complexion – bronzed skin, cropped, black hair — with a much larger build.

I froze as the smaller one looked at me, a disgusted sneer on his face. Elizabeth must have said something to him because he glanced at her before turning and climbing back into the front seat of the car. I watched as she reached for the taller man's hand, their eyes on each other.

And then they touched.

The spinning of the world slowed, the gravity between the two of them noticeable but not overpowering. The noises of city life faded into the background. Elizabeth stepped into the man, her shoulder brushing his, and I gasped as the scent of a summer storm washed over me.

My small noise must have caught the man's attention. He turned toward me, his face stoic and seemingly void of emotion. The moment his eyes met mine, I felt an excruciating ache at the front of my head, almost like a pressure building behind my forehead. I took a step back, my knees buckling under the pain. A large hand suddenly gripped my elbow, while another grasped my hip. I wanted to turn, to verify it was Edward who held me, but I couldn't look away from the stranger. He imprisoned me in his stare, not even scent penetrating the wall of pain around me.

I sagged and grunted when the man finally looked away from me, glancing over my shoulder. His eyes returned to mine for a moment, and that same ache appeared in my head. I released a noise like a whimper, and he grinned as he broke our gaze, staring at our feet.

"A Masen has found his red thread," he said, a slight accent to his words. "Isn't that lovely, Libby?"

"I knew you'd be pleased," Elizabeth responded before lowering herself into the car. The man continued to stand there, grinning at our feet, until Elizabeth said, "C'mon, dear. We have places to go."

He frowned for a moment, then slipped into the back of the car, following Elizabeth. She smiled sarcastically and waved. "We'll see you soon!"

I watched them pull away, a sickening weight in my gut telling me we'd just made a colossal mistake. When the car had disappeared from view, Edward turned me in his arms. He looked angry, far madder than I had ever seen him, and I wondered at whom all that emotion was directed. He didn't give me time to ask.

"What the hell were you thinking?"

I flinched at the force of his voice. He sighed and pulled me against him, wrapping his arms around my back. "Jesus, Bella. Confronting her was one thing, but running after her like that was incredibly stupid."

"I need my phone," I said abruptly. His arms released me when I pulled away from him, but he remained close. I should have cared about what he said. Perhaps I should have even been insulted, but I wasn't. He could call my actions and me anything he wanted right now because there were much more important things to deal with.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, his anger shifting to confusion. I turned and walked away, rushing toward the corner of Sheffield and Addison where I hoped to find a cab. After just a moment, Edward followed, walking barely a step behind me.

"Why do you need your phone?" He sounded irritated, frustrated, and I reached out to take his hand in mine. The contact calmed me.

"I need to call Esme, but I left my phone on the nightstand. Something your mother said…something about the way that guy made me feel…" I trailed off, my mind fuzzy, and my thoughts scrambled.

_You're the fíorghrá to a Masen._

_A Masen has found his red thread._

_I know you're 'true loves' or 'soul mates' or 'red threads' or, as Mom says, 'fíorghrás.'_

_Fíorghrá…true love…soul mate…red thread of fate…destiny._

I stopped, reaching out to grasp the edge of a statue as Emmett's words slammed into me.

_The Masen women are the key._

"Fuck," I whispered. Edward jumped in front of me, grasping my biceps.

"Bella?" The concern in his voice pushed through the fog in my brain, and in a moment of clarity, I realized exactly what I needed to know.

"Get us a cab," I said. "We're going home. I'm calling Esme and then," I paused, looking into his eyes with every ounce of determination I had, "you are going to tell me the legend of the Masen men. In detail."

**xXxXx**

I knew something was wrong as soon as Edward opened the door to his condo. Something about the air in the foyer felt wrong…smelled wrong. I froze mid-step as my heart lurched to a frantic beat.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked. I shook my head, too busy focusing my senses to speak. I jumped when a hand wrapped around my arm but quickly realized it was only Edward. "Jesus, Bella. What the hell is going on?"

"Do you notice anything…odd?" I asked quietly. He looked around the foyer and into the living room before shaking his head. "Something feels off, but I can't quite put my finger on what."

Edward looked concerned for a moment, but his expression quickly turned angry. "Stay here," he whispered, the words coming out almost in a hiss. I nodded as he grabbed a baseball bat from the umbrella stand behind the door and walked into the living room. He moved through the space slowly, his eyes roaming over furniture and windows, shelves and doors. When he stepped through the entry into the dining room and I lost sight of him, I felt a band of panic grip my chest.

"Edward!" I ran through the doorways into the black room. He turned to look at me and waved his hand as if to shoo me away.

"Go back to the foyer, Bella."

I shook my head. "No. I don't want to be left alone, and you might need my help."

He seemed irritated as he looked back and forth between me and the hallway leading to the kitchen. "Bella…"

"I'm going with you." I kept my voice low and quiet while infusing it with as much certainty as I could muster. Edward stared at me for a moment, then nodded. He grabbed my hand with one of his and laid the bat against his shoulder as we stepped past the large table.

We separated in the kitchen. Edward went into the pantry while I moved toward the door leading outside. The handle held firm under my turning, still locked, but the sense of unease didn't lessen. It almost seemed to grow within me the further through the condo we moved.

I felt a draft against my legs and glanced down the hallway leading to the bedrooms. "Did you leave a window open?" Edward shook his head and reached for my hand as he led the way down the hall.

"No. I don't open the windows when the air is on." He walked into the spare. The wind once again moved against my legs, and I stepped into it, following the path. The door to the master bedroom stood almost closed, the wind flowing around the edge. I couldn't remember if I'd shut the door behind me earlier this afternoon or not.

I raised my hands and spread my fingers against the wood - not pushing, just touching. The energy around me still felt off, disturbed by something indistinct. A gust of air flowed past, the scent of summer and Edward almost too faint to distinguish. All the scents in the condo seemed subtle, almost restrained or…shielded.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked, coming to stand behind me. I shook my head slowly, silently. I switched my focus from what I could sense to what I couldn't – stretching my gift, pushing myself to find it, to remember…

"Void." I whispered. Before Edward could react I threw open the door and stormed into the room. It was empty. I looked around before hurrying to look into the closet and bathroom. Everything appeared as it should; nothing seemed out of place until I felt the draft again. Glancing up, I saw it – the door to the sun porch stood ajar.

I ran through and across the tiled space to another door standing open…a door leading outside to a fire escape. The metal rang as my heels made contact, and I could feel the structure sway a bit under my weight. I looked over the railing and along the alley but saw no one.

"Bella?" Edward stood in the doorway behind me, bat at the ready. I looked him over from head to toe, verifying he was okay before I moved past him into the sun porch.

"We have to go." I rushed into the bedroom and grabbed my bag, throwing it on the bed. My phone bounced against the duvet and landed on the edge of the bed.

"What the hell is going on?" Edward asked, limping into the room. My heart broke as I saw him grimace in pain, and I wondered how he'd hurt himself.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly while unzipping my dress. He snorted and ran his hand through his messy hair.

"_Am I_ _okay_? Am I okay?" He leaned back against the dresser and crossed his arms, dropping the bat. "Oh, I'm fucking swell, Bella. How about you tell me if you're okay?"

I shook my head and dropped my dress to the floor. "I'm fabulous. You know, I just met your mother, who happens to be the wicked witch of the Midwest; I have these stupid words about you from Emmett hanging over my head, making me crazy; and now the same person who broke into my trailer was here…in this bedroom." I glared at him as I shook out my dress and threw it in the bag. A look of surprise appeared on his face.

"What are you…how do you know this?" He stepped toward me, but I rushed past him into the bathroom.

"I should have realized as soon as we walked in," I said, not really directing my conversation to him. "The scents were so wrong, so restrained. I kept searching for…something." I tossed the last of my stuff into my toiletries bag and walked back into the bedroom. "I didn't realize. Not until I couldn't even really smell you. Then I knew. The lack of scent…the fucking void."

I threw the little bag into my suitcase and moved to collect the rest of my clothes. Edward stepped in front of me, stopping me, gripping my arms.

"Stop. For two goddamn seconds just stop and talk to me." He looked into my eyes, so concerned and maybe a little angry. I brought my hands up to either side of his face and pulled his head down to mine. My lips touched his for the briefest of moments before I shifted so I could whisper into his ear.

"Whoever broke into my trailer was here. I can't smell them." He pulled his head back, staring into my eyes while wrapping his arms around my waist. "The first time, in the Jayco, I smelled nothing. The entire trailer became like a void of scent, which is pretty impossible. Everything has a scent, an aroma of some sort. Dirt, strong emotions, people – I can smell them all…but not this person." I dropped my forehead to his chest and slid my hands down to grip the waistband of his pants.

"Whoever it is," I said, barely loud enough for Edward to hear me. "Whoever keeps invading our space must know about me…about my gift. They know what I can do." Edward pulled me tighter against him, his arms fully encircling my hips. I looked up into his face, seeing nothing but worry there. "They know how to block me so I can't recognize them."

Edward's arm moved up along my back to push on my shoulder, bringing my chest flush with his. His lips trailed soft kisses from my hairline to my ear and back. After several minutes of standing silently in each other's arms, he pulled away and placed one last gentle kiss to the tip of my nose.

"You don't feel safe here - in my home," he whispered. I nodded slowly, feeling like a horrible person for admitting it. "You want to leave." His eyes stared into mine as I nodded again. He moved his hands to my arms as he took a step back, bending at the waist so our eyes were level. "Then we'll go. Together, yes?"

He looked so cautious, so afraid of my answer. I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him against me, my hands gripping his hair.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Of course, together." He sighed and chuckled humorlessly.

"You had me worried there," he admitted. I shook my head and laughed darkly.

"You and I go together," I said, stepping away from him and sliding my hands down to grip his. He nodded and smiled at me.

"Then let's get packed. We can stay the night in a hotel by the airport." He pulled me in for one more kiss before walking toward his closet.

"Oh, and Bella?" he said. I spun to look at him, smiling. "Feel free to run around in nothing but your lingerie and high heels anytime." He laughed as I looked down at my matching gold satin bra and panties and gold sandals.

"Pig," I yelled, giggling.

"You love it," he replied from inside the closet.

I grabbed some clothes and started folding them. "I don't know about that," I murmured. "But I definitely love you."

**xXxXx**

I clung to Edward's hand in the back of the cab while my thoughts swirled. The who, the why, the how — the questions kept sliding around with no answers to pin them down. I refused to release him from my grasp as we arrived at the Westin. The way his hand gripped mine almost painfully told me he felt the same sense of fear, the same loss of control.

Edward didn't release my hand until we arrived in our room. He locked and bolted the door, placed our bags on the luggage stands in the corner, then turned and stalked over to me. I trembled in the entryway, wringing my hands. It wasn't Edward I feared — more the thought of somehow losing him, losing our connection. I no longer knew if I could survive without him, and that thought terrified me to my very soul.

Edward silently wrapped his arms around me, clutching me against his chest as his cheek rested on the crown of my head. I slid my arms under his and up around his shoulders, locking the two of us together. Two hearts, one need…together.

My phone rang in my purse, Esme's ringtone breaking the silence around us. I sighed and stepped toward the bed, pushing Edward back since I refused to let him go. He chuckled softly but moved with me. I turned in his arms when we reached the edge of the bed where my purse lay. He kept his arms around my waist, leaning over a bit so his chest met my back from hips to shoulders.

"Crap," I whispered, digging through my bag for my phone. The ringtone stopped, but I continued searching. Finally, I turned my purse upside down and dumped it on the coverlet, watching as my phone landed then bounced.

Bounced.

I stared at the phone, my thoughts once again swirling around in my head. It bounced. It had bounced in Edward's bedroom just a few hours before, when I threw my bag on the bed. It had been on the bed. I thought back to the moments before I left the room – straightening my dress, checking my hair, filling my small clutch with my essentials.

Plugging my phone into the charger on the nightstand.

My hand shook as I reached down and picked up the phone gingerly. I could feel the rumble of Edward's voice, feel the vibration of his chest against my beck, but I couldn't hear him. The sound of my blood pumping rapidly filled my ears and blocked out all other sounds.

I pressed a button on the bottom of the phone and the screen lit up. Then it flickered. My phone's screen had never flickered before. I lifted it closer, all the way under my nose. I closed my eyes, a plea for _something_ whispering through my head, and then I inhaled against the plastic.

I laughed. I laughed so hard, tears fell from my eyes in torrents.

"You want to fill me in here, Bella?"

I spun to face him, smiling and crying and so fucking happy my hands shook with the joy.

"Honeysuckle and metal – pewter, maybe," I said. I sniffed the phone again, confirming what I'd already sensed. "It's close to Garrett's silvery smell, but not quite the same. Heavier." I stared at the phone as my mind whirled with possibilities. "It's very feminine…maybe a woman? Not someone I've met before; I'd remember this combination."

"Bella…" Edward said, sounding frustrated, but the notes of _Witchy Woman_ interrupted him. I hit the green button and pressed the phone to my ear.

"Hey, Esme," I said, my eyes locked with Edward's as he moved to sit on the bed.

"Are you two okay? What the hell is happening up there?" she asked, sounding frantic. I heard a slight echo through the phone, and I frowned.

"We're fine. We're actually coming back early," I responded. Edward cocked his head and looked at me questioningly.

"Coming back early? Why? What happened?" Esme's concern flowed through the speaker, her voice still echoing. The odd reverberation made me wary, and I answered in accord with that feeling.

"We ran into Elizabeth at the party," I answered, thinking fast. "Edward's a little upset with how I reacted, so we're cutting the trip short. In fact, we'll be boarding our flight in a just a few minutes." Edward's eyes widened and a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. He seemed amused by my lying.

"That bitch," Esme responded. I choked a little at her response, not at all prepared to hear her use that sort of language. "I told her to leave you two alone. Listen, Bella. You and Edward come on back. I'm sure Alice will meet you-"

"No, no," I interrupted, not wanting to involve anyone else. "Our flight lands really late. We'll just grab a room near the airport in Birmingham and drive to Ashland in the morning."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely." I replied, moving to kneel on the foot of the bed. Edward remained unmoving, staring at me. "Now go; I'm sure you and Carlisle have plans this evening that don't involve your nephew and me." Making a split second decision, I said, "Tell the Chief we said hello and that we're looking forward to spending more time with him when we get back to Alabama."

Esme paused for a beat. My heart raced as I wondered what she'd say in response, if she'd pick up on my hint. We needed Chief Cullen's help, but there was no way I could come right out and ask her to call him.

I heard a quick intake of breath across the line, then she answered brightly, "Will do, sweet girl. I'm sure the Chief would love to catch up with the two of you. Give Edward my love and be careful." I could hear the stress on the last word, and I knew she understood. She'd be calling Chief Cullen soon, probably as soon as she hung up the line.

"We will," I replied quietly before pressing the end button and tossing the phone onto an armchair to my left. I kept my eyes on Edward's as his smile fell.

"Let me try this again. You want to fill me in here, Bella?"

I crawled up the bed, only stopping when my legs straddled his hips and my chest rested against his. The warmth of our bodies touching soothed me. I leaned into him and gripped his shoulders.

"Whoever broke into my trailer and your condo did something to my phone," I replied. He glanced at the armchair where the device lay but quickly brought his gaze back to mine. "I left it charging on the nightstand, but when we got home, it was on the bed. That's why I smelled it. I hoped maybe…" I trailed off, suddenly feeling ridiculous. Edward just smiled at me.

"Honeysuckle and pewter," he whispered. I nodded. "So the person that broke into your trailer and my condo can block your gift from the air, but apparently not from the objects they touch." He paused, looking thoughtful and distracted. "I wonder if their scent was left behind because of their skin oil – like a fingerprint."

"I don't know," I replied, considering the idea. "I guess it's possible, though I've never thought about it before."

"Mmmm." Edward wrapped his hands around my hips, massaging. "So you lied to Aunt Esme because…"

"The screen flickered," I replied, moving my arms down his until my hands rested around his wrists. "Jesus, that feels good." He chuckled and rubbed harder while I moaned a little. "The screen flickered, and Esme's voice echoed; it made me nervous, so I lied." I shrugged.

"Chief Cullen?" he asked, his voice deep and soft.

"I trust him." I licked my lips. Edward's eyes tracked the movement of my tongue before returning to mine, darker than before. "He may have contacts than can verify if something's been done to my phone. Plus it was the only way I could think of to let Esme know something was wrong without coming out and saying it."

"Do you think she understood?" He slid his hands back, and I lifted up on my knees so he could massage my ass. I nodded, groaning in delight as his hands slid further, his fingers rubbing along my inner thighs.

"Good," he whispered huskily. "So now what?" I leaned my forehead against his and squeezed my hands around his wrists, pulling his hands away from my legs.

"Now you tell me about your family." I sat back on his thighs, and he sighed. "I think I need to know this Masen legend." He shook his head slowly as he leaned back against the headboard.

"There is no legend, at least not that I'm aware of."

"But Emmett said-"

"Emmett said what he did to make you doubt me," he interrupted. My heart broke at the pain in his eyes, and I quickly leaned forward to brush my lips against his.

"No doubts, a stór," I murmured. "But Emmett's smart, like genius smart, and he's a research junky." I shook my head and shifted back, leaving my hands gripping his shirt. "If he says there's a legend, I'd be willing to bet he's right." Edward shook his head and opened his mouth to argue, but I put my finger against his lips. "I'm not saying you're lying, I just think maybe it's something you don't know about."

He huffed in annoyance. "How could Emmett possibly know something about my family that I don't?"

"We'll have to ask him when we get back to the carnival." I dropped one foot to the floor and swung my other over his calves so I could stand next to the bed. "For now, I think you need to tell me everything you know about the Masen family." Edward sighed and tilted his head back, glaring at the ceiling.

"Fine, but I don't see how this is going to help." He rubbed his hand over his face briskly. I flipped through the hotel information booklet on the desk, stopping when I found the listing of local restaurants that delivered.

"Maybe it won't," I replied, shrugging. "But Emmett, your mother and that dark-haired guy in the Towncar all mentioned 'Masen' in a way that made me think there has to be something…I don't know," I paused, frowning. "Special? Different? Important?" I shook my head, unable to find the word I wanted.

"Ominous," Edward said quietly. My eyes snapped up to meet his, and I nodded slowly.

"Yes, ominous." We sat in silence, staring at each other. The tension of the moment felt like a physical force, constricting around each of us, pulling us apart. Refusing to give into the feeling, I moved away from the desk and toward the bed.

"We'll figure it out, a stór." I whispered, sitting next to his knees so I faced him. He grabbed my hand and squeezed.

"Okay," he said finally, nodding. "But first I need to know what happened between you and my mother." His eyes held mine, intense and searching.

"Okay," I replied. "But first," I paused as we both smiled, finding humor in my repetition of his words, "I think we should order something for dinner. Maybe a full belly will help us deal with these dark topics."

He shrugged but moved around me to stand and walk toward the desk. "Sounds good to me. Though you know what else might make it easier to deal with the dark topics?" I shook my head, and he smirked cockily. "Being naked when we talk about them."

I laughed loudly, my head thrown back. "Somehow I doubt that," I said, standing and walking over to him. He smiled, but I could see the tension brewing behind his eyes. "But getting naked with you will be a nice way to recover…after we talk."

He stared into my eyes, making my heart race. I loved him. More than words could express, more than my heart could contain…I loved him. Something may have been happening around us, something dark and mysterious, but between us, there was only light.

Finally, his smile softened, and he leaned in to place a sweet kiss against my lips.

"Naked…after."

**xXxXx**

I lay across the bed while Edward sat in the armchair, his chin resting on his hands as he listened to me tell him about my run in with Elizabeth. The pizza lay abandoned on the desk, only a few slices left in the box.

"I never should have left you alone," he said, shaking his head. I smiled softly and sighed.

"She would have found a way. Whether you were with me or not, she would have made a play to touch me." I set my water bottle on the nightstand and moved to the edge of the bed. "What I want to know is why she'd want access to my decisions in the first place. I'm nobody to her, except through my interactions with you."

"I'm sure it's to get to me," he replied. He placed his palm against his chest, directly over the shield I knew to be there. "She can't really see my future, not since this." He tapped his finger under his collarbone and snorted a dark laugh. "Pissed her off something awful when my dad brought me home with it."

"She didn't know you were getting it?" I asked. I knew Edward's dad had taken him to get the tattoo, but I never thought about his mother's role in it.

"No, though I didn't know that until we got home." He sat back, resting his left ankle on his right knee. "My mom saw the bandages under my t-shirt and started screaming at my dad." He glanced at the floor, a sadness in his eyes. "I don't think she's touched me since." He took a deep breath and let it out in a whoosh. "So who knows…maybe it's the tattoo that makes it so she can't see me, or maybe it's because she's a shit mother who hasn't touched her son in a decade."

I didn't respond, didn't know what words could possibly make him feel better at that moment. She'd hurt him so badly, scarred him worse than the accident and the surgeries combined. For the first time in my life, I truly felt hatred toward another person.

"I still can't believe you shocked her," he said, breaking the heavy silence that had fallen around us. I smiled, remembering the energy coursing through my body.

"I can't believe I didn't shock you in the process." I shook my head a little. "I've never been able to control it before, as you well know." He chuckled.

"Yeah, I remember that moment well." He stood and walked to the bed. I shifted back, lying on top of the blankets. He lay next to me, his hand reaching out to hold mine. "I could feel the energy today," he whispered. "I had the strongest desire to protect you, so I grabbed your arm to pull you away from her. I expected the shock, but instead I felt this warm…vibration against your skin." He moved forward, pulling me toward him by my waist. "I know I probably shouldn't think this because she's my mother, but I'm so glad you knocked her on her ass."

I laughed, and he followed right behind me until we were both on our backs, gasping for air while tears ran down our faces. Eventually, I rolled onto my stomach and rested my cheek on my arms, facing Edward.

"She's going to pop back up somewhere," I said softly. Edward turned to look at me, anger and determination in his eyes.

"Then we'll deal with her again, but no more running after her without me." He rolled toward me and brought his hand to my face, caressing my cheekbone with his thumb. "I can't bear the thought of you getting hurt because of her…or me." His voice sounded so quiet, so filled with unnecessary remorse. I grabbed his hand and pulled his fingers to my lips, kissing the pads softly.

"Okay," I whispered. "We'll run together." He rolled his eyes, so I put two of his fingers between my teeth and bit down to get his attention. When his eyes darted first to my mouth and then up to meet mine, I released him. "We'll run. . .together." He nodded slowly, a small smile on his face. "Now, let's talk about this Masen legend."

His smile turned quickly to a frown. "I told you, I don't know any legend. Yesterday was the first time I'd heard anyone put those two words together."

I shifted a bit, hiking one leg up and resting it between his. "So tell me about your dad's family. You may not know of a Masen legend, but I'm sure you know about the Masens."

He grabbed my hip and pulled me closer, our legs tangling together. "Where do you want me to start?" He looked so nervous; I leaned forward and placed a small kiss to the tip of his nose.

"Tell me about your dad."

Deep into the night, we lay together on the bed talking about his family. He shared stories of his dad - some happy, some sad. He told me what he knew of his grandfather and grandmother Masen – both victims of her rage when she discovered her husband sleeping with the wife of a friend. His great-grandmother had also killed herself and her husband by driving their car off a bridge, the note she left behind proving it wasn't by accident. He tried to remember the details of the disappearance of his great-great-grandfather, though it didn't seem there was much to remember – his great-great-grandmother was thought to be responsible, but the case was never solved as police pulled her body from a swollen river shortly after the disappearance of her husband.

They'd all left their sons behind, charitable family members raising them in different homes, in different towns. No more conning, no more traveling – yet still dealing with the repercussions of their parents' lives and deaths. The littlest victims of their crimes. Just like Edward.

His voice filled with shame when he told me of the cons these men pulled and the way they traveled from town-to-town to avoid detection. The damage they left behind in their short lives was almost impressive in its atrociousness. Thieves and liars, charming their way into polite society, constantly on the move – so very carnie, so very gypsy.

In the end, when all the pieces appeared to be laid out before me, I saw no pattern. No common link between these men and the women they loved. Three conmen, one educated lawyer. One gifted carnie, two farmer's daughters, and an elementary school teacher. All tied together by nothing more than a surname.

Fully clothed and still on top of the blankets, Edward and I curled around each other, too tired to continue our conversation. He hummed a song quietly, a melancholy melody in a minor key. I snuggled into his chest and listened to the notes vibrating through his chest. Thoughts of the previous Masen generations continued to flow through my mind – faceless women, men resembling Edward, little boys with tears in their eyes. The pictures broke my heart and made me cling to Edward with a ferocity I'd never experienced.

I awoke the next morning still clinging to his shirt, my legs locked around his. He woke shortly after me, the warmth of my fingers under his clothes pulling him from sleep. He didn't seem to mind as he rolled on top of me and kissed me, long and deep. Our actions stayed slow, our movements heavy. We undressed each other without a word, just whispered touches to speak the endearments we could not.

_I love you._

_I need you._

_No doubts._

_Together._

It wasn't until we were in the bathroom, both showered and preparing to leave for the airport, that my memory returned to the Masens and their sad history.

"You know," I said around my toothbrush, watching Edward in the mirror as he shaved. "If there's any pattern to this Masen legend, it's simply the men marrying the wrong women."

He looked at me oddly, appearing almost frightened. "What do you mean?" He paused, the razor resting against his cheek.

"Your grandmother and great-grandmother murdered their husbands, your great-great grandmother was suspected of murdering hers, and your dad…" I trailed off as I noticed Edward's face growing pale. His eyes stared into the reflection of mine, and I felt a chill move along my spine at the darkness I saw there.

"Bella," he said quietly. He placed the razor on the counter near the sink, breaking our gaze. "The one thing I remember my father saying about all of them was how lucky they were to find their true loves." He glanced up at me, his face a mask of sadness and…acceptance.

"They each married their fíorghrá."

.

.

.


	21. Bitter

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

_._

Silence. A lack of auditory stimulation. I'd experienced many different types of silences over my twenty years — tense, excited, awkward, forced. Some had been pleasant while others had made my gut twist with nerves. The similarities between them were obvious; they all broke once voices were brought back into the equation. Unfortunately, none of them could have prepared me for the almost crippling silence now encasing Edward and me.

_They each married their fíorghrá._

Sixteen hours had passed since he'd uttered those words. In that time, we'd barely spoken to one another. The silence grew in weight and presence. It sat between us, blocking our normal, comfortable connection. I felt it, smelled it, tasted it — bitter and angry, overly tart and afraid. The longer it lasted, the more solid it became — the harder to break through. Through a cab ride, airport security, boarding, and the flight south, the silence traveled along with us. It wasn't until we sat in Edward's blue Mustang, speeding across Alabama on an empty two-lane highway, that I finally decided to attempt an escape.

"We need to find Esme as soon as we get back." I spoke cautiously, though I tried to push as much certainty through my voice as I could. Edward sighed and chewed on his lip but didn't say anything. I waited patiently for a response, a sign that he was willing to try to fix this awkwardness, only to be disappointed when none came.

Choosing a different path, I closed my eyes and concentrated on the energy around me — so agitated, so stressed. It bounced around the car, bursting in flashes of light and heat whenever it came into contact with my body. I sank willingly into the sensations, absorbing them, nurturing them. After a few minutes of feeling the buzz growing stronger against my skin, Edward finally seemed to notice.

"What are you doing?" he asked suddenly. I smirked a bit, picturing the silence as a big, brown gorilla in my head. He sat all scrunched up between the two seats, glowering and pissed off about the interruption. I chose not to speak around him, not to respond to Edward's question. Instead I waited, floating in a sea of negative energy while spark-like jolts made the tips of my fingers tingle.

"Bella, what is this? What the hell do you think you're doing?" Edward sounded frustrated and uncomfortable. I wondered if he was sharing in my gift right then, if he could feel the same static against his body. Again I ignored him, knowing his increased frustration would only feed the agitation around me and, hopefully, him.

"Fuck!"

My eyes shot open as I felt the car lurch to the right. Edward gripped the steering wheel with both hands, directing the car to the side of the road. The sound of gravel hitting the undercarriage was almost deafening, and the tires squealed from the strain of rubber sliding on asphalt. As soon as the car came to a stop, Edward turned toward me, one arm resting on the steering wheel. He looked absolutely livid.

"Stop it. Right now," he ordered. I narrowed my eyes at him and pulled more energy to me. This time it arrived in a surge, and I felt my control slip a bit. The light dusting of hair on my arms stood on end, and the smell of ozone permeated the car.

"Damn it, Bella!" He shoved his door open and jumped out of the car, walking around the front. When he reached my door, he pulled it open roughly and reached inside to unbuckle my seat belt. "I swear to God, if you shock me…"

He didn't finish his threat. Instead, he grabbed my elbow and pulled me from the seat. His touch was firm and his actions quick, but he didn't hurt me. I still felt safe, always safe with him, even as he lost his temper and his voice grew loud. I knew he would never hurt me.

I followed him to the front of the car, then yanked my arm out of his grasp.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I yelled. I crossed my arms over my chest and sat gingerly on the hood. Edward's eyes burned furiously as they bounced between my own and where my hip met metal.

"Right now my problem is that you're going to scratch the clear-coat." His words came out low and long, almost hiss-like. I glared at him as I settled more of my weight onto his car.

"You want me to unseat your Mustang? Fine. But first, you're going to tell me why you're refusing to talk to me." I watched as he threw his hands into his hair and tugged hard. He turned and walked a few steps away, muttering to himself, then returned to his previous position.

"Bella, get your ass off my car." His voice dropped, his tone quiet and overly calm. I knew I was pushing him, but I refused to back down. There was no way I would sit in that car for another two hours with the giant wall between us that he refused to address.

"No."

Edward dropped his arms and stepped toward me before pausing again. "Bella—"

"No!" I smacked my hand on the hood, smirking inside when his eyes grew wide. "This is ridiculous. Five words? Five fucking words are enough to drive a wedge the size of Manhattan between us?" I shook my head while keeping my eyes on his. "No, I refuse to give in to it. You _are_ going to tell me what the hell is going through your pretty little head, or I swear on everything I hold dear, I will wash this fucking car with a goddamn Brillo pad!"

Edward froze for a moment, a look of pure rage on his face. His arms hung stiffly at his sides, hands clenched in fists and feet spread shoulder-width apart. He looked large and powerful yet so angry. I wondered belatedly if I had perhaps pushed him a bit too far. Before I could fully complete that thought, he made a noise like a growl and stormed toward me. He shoved his legs between mine as he reached the car and pushed me back, laying me against the heated metal, his body covering mine.

"You want to know what's in my head?" His arms shook, his palms planted on either side of my shoulders. I shivered under him, scared and turned on all at once. "This. Losing this...losing you. That's what's in my fucking head."

He grabbed the back of my neck and pressed his lips against mine harshly. His kiss held no sweetness, only fear and desire and violent, screaming want. Mine, his...it didn't matter. This was something we both needed, something neither of us could ignore a second longer.

Warm tongues slid together, wet heat and breath tangling. Both my arms wrapped around his neck, my hands gripping and pulling at his hair. My heart leaped in my chest, pounding out a rhythm of _yes-more-please-closer_ as we continued our desperate grasping, clutching, claiming.

His teeth nipped at my lips whenever I tried to pull away, pulling me back into the kiss even as my breath came in gasps and pants. I stroked one hand down his back and grabbed onto his belt loops, yanking him forward. He shoved his hips into mine forcefully, refusing to allow even a tiny bit of space between us. My back slid up the hood of the car, but I didn't care; we would deal with any scratches later.

I wrapped my arms and legs around him and pulled him closer, grinding my hips against his as he moaned. He was completely out of control, and I liked it. I could taste his passion on the air, feel it vibrating all the way down to my bones. When I finally tilted my head back to escape his smothering assault, I gasped violently for air. Edward simply moved his lips and teeth and tongue to my neck, groaning against my skin.

"Fuck, Bella." He bit the muscle on one side of my neck, and I jumped at the sting. He began babbling, pausing to suck and lick. "I'll lose you to it…if we stay…and I can't…don't make me" I ran my hands along his back, rubbing and stroking under his t-shirt. His entire body shook against mine as his lips finally slowed, his franticness wearing off.

He rested his forehead against my collarbone as he finally murmured the words I needed to understand his mood. "I can't lose you." His arms encircled my body, pulling my back off the hood. "I would rather die than be without you." I gripped him to me, shushing him while I ran my fingers gently through his disheveled hair.

"Why would you lose me?" I whispered. His hold grew stronger, past the threshold of pain, but I didn't make him let go. He needed this, and I needed him.

"They all married their fíorghrás…and they died because of it. What if…" he paused and took a deep breath, "what if it wasn't the women, but the men that caused everything. What if whatever this Masen legend is…" his voice drifted off, his lips pressing against my neck once more. "What if…something happens to you, and it's my fault?"

I shook my head and pulled back far enough to look him in the eyes. The anger had left his face, leaving his vulnerability and fear exposed. His expression tugged at my heart and made me want to fix this, fix him.

I clutched his cheeks in my hands and stared into his eyes. "That won't be us."

He glanced down to the ground, hiding, so I tapped my fingers against his ear until his eyes met mine again.

"That. Won't. Be. Us." I spoke strongly, emphatically. He just sighed.

"But what if—"

I kissed his bottom lip to interrupt. "Not us."

"But it—"

I nibbled his chin. "Not us."

"Bella—"

I pressed my lips to his strongly, licking along the crease until he opened his mouth to me. After a slow, languid kiss, I pulled back again.

"Not-fucking-us. Period." When he opened his mouth to speak, I put my thumbs under his chin and gently pushed up on his jaw. "No, a stór. No more arguing. Our future isn't written in stone. We can talk history and fate and legend and destiny until we're old and gray, but in the end, we're the ones that make the decisions about the way our lives will go." I pulled him to me and kissed his lips softly. "Just us."

He dropped his head to my shoulder as soon as my fingers released his jaw. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him against me, comforting the two of us with one embrace. The sun felt warm, and a light breeze blew through the fields. A single car drove past, but they didn't stop or honk at us as we rested atop Edward's car.

"I'm so sorry I yelled at you," Edward eventually said.

"It's okay. I'm sorry if I scratched your car." I grinned as he chuckled. He moved back, pulling me to my feet in front of the Mustang. Edward ran one hand over his face as he surveyed the slight scuffs. Finally, he shrugged.

"They're probably my fault. I'm the one that attacked you on the side of the road." He glanced at me, still looking a bit wary.

I smiled and stretched up on my toes to kiss his cheek. "I liked being attacked."

His lips curved up into a small smile before they met mine. He rubbed his hands up and down my arms.

"I know you…_we_ really need to speak with Aunt Esme," he smiled as I grinned at his correction, "but do you think we can take our time? I just…I kind of want to be alone with you for a little bit."

I nodded and backed toward the passenger side door. "We need to be in Ashland by seven, but I'm all yours until then." Edward smirked at me, one eyebrow cocked a little higher than the other as he slid into his seat and started the engine.

"So whose are you once we get to Ashland?" he asked playfully. I laughed and smacked his arm, relieved at the lack of tension between us.

"I guess you'll just have to wait and see," I responded teasingly. Edward leaned across the space between the seats and kissed me softly.

"Whose?" he asked when we finally pulled apart. I grinned and rested my forehead against his.

"Yours, a stór. I'm always yours."

He grinned and gave me a quick peck on the lips.

"Damn right you are, just as I'm yours."

**xXxXx**

We pulled into the camp in Ashland at six thirty that evening, having spent the day driving along the back roads of northern Alabama. Edward held my hand the entire time, shifting gears with his fingertips. We chatted for hours, sometimes about carnie gossip and lore, sometimes about the negative events around us, sometimes about our separate pasts and our future together. We had officially evicted the silence from that Mustang.

We didn't have time to track down Esme before the opening meeting, though I spotted her across the crowd just as Jack began telling us about hours, gate policies, and emergency procedures. Edward stood behind me, his arms around my shoulders and his chin on top of my head. I reached my hands back and pulled his hips tight against me, gripping his belt loops. Emmett stood in front of the crowd next to Jack, scowling at us whenever his eyes glanced our way. Whenever I noticed him looking, I pulled Edward a tiny bit closer.

"You trying to prove something, chéadsearc?" Edward whispered after the fourth time I reacted to Emmett's glower. I smiled as his tongue dragged along the shell of my ear.

"Nope, just trying to get my point across." I groaned when Edward bit my earlobe gently, sucking the flesh between his teeth.

"Hmmm, me too." He said when he finally released my lobe. I swatted at his hip, and he chuckled into my hair.

"You two need to cut it out before you give Phil a stroke," Renee said. I turned toward her in surprise, my fingers releasing Edward's jeans. She smiled at the two of us. "Hi, baby. Edward."

"Good evening, Renee," Edward said politely as he released me so I could hug my mother. She held me close for a few beats longer than normal, but I didn't mind. Her usual aroma of sunshine and freedom comforted me and reminded me of my childhood. After all the drama we'd lived through lately, the simple pleasure of being a child playing outside appealed to me greatly.

"I missed you, Mom." I smiled at her. Edward wrapped his arms around my shoulders as soon as I stepped out of her grasp, and she smiled softly at the gesture.

"Did you have a good time in Chicago?" She glanced around the crowd, a nervous look on her face. I nodded in response. "Good, that's good." She still looked uncomfortable, which made my own anxiety rise.

"What's going on, Mom?" I watched as her eyes darted around once more. Finally, she stepped toward me and lowered her voice to a level barely above a whisper.

"Nothing, really. Just..." She glanced over my shoulder and leaned in further. "We set up your booth this morning, and Alice has your trailer in place on the west end of the lot. With all of the changes that happened this week, Phil and I decided to take advantage of the extra trailers and create a kind of wagon-circle. Some of the others…"

"Wait…what? Why are there extra trailers?" I asked, completely confused. Renee looked between Edward and me for a moment, obviously collecting her thoughts.

"After Mikey disappeared," she shook her head sadly, "there were a few break-ins and some vandalism." I felt my eyes grow wide at her words. Our carnival had run into such problems in the past but not often. We were too close, too good of friends to tolerate strangers poking around where they didn't belong. "Don't worry, Phil and Emmett fixed most of the damage to your game and—"

"What?" Heads turned as Edward and I spoke at the same time, the sound traveling farther than we'd planned. Renee shushed us. She motioned for us to turn so we were facing away from Jack and then grabbed one of my hands.

"Someone broke into a few of the trucks the night before you left. We didn't find out until after you were gone, so we chose to deal with it ourselves. Your booth and three others were…well, damaged, along with two of the rides, though nothing was stolen. Phil and Emmett set everything up earlier today and made a bunch of repairs. I think it looks great, but you two should go check it out once the meeting's over." She glanced up at Edward for a second before grabbing his hand with the one not already holding mine. "And as for the wagon-circle," she paused, tilting her head and smiling sadly at me, "we just want you kids safe. Emmett and Tanya are in one trailer; Jasper and Rosalie live out of their truck, so we had them leave the trailer at the south end of the lot and drive their rig by us; Esme and Carlisle are also there."

"Wait, Emmett and Tanya are sharing a trailer? Where's Irina? And what about Alice? Shit, are Kate and Garrett part of this?" I felt my stomach knot as I worried about my friends, the people that made up my extended carnie family. It felt as if I'd been gone for weeks, not just a couple of days.

"Relax, baby," Renee said. Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder. We made a strange sort of triangle, Edward and I as the base with my mom at the point, the sides formed by her arms as they held our hands.

"Irina and her new boyfriend are living in the old Denisov trailer. I don't particularly care for the man, but she seems pretty over-the-moon about things. Tanya decided to buy a place of her own, and Emmett moved in with her. I guess he and Jack disagreed on how to handle Mikey's absence." She paused, glancing toward the men in question. "Emmett didn't want to leave New London, but Jack forced his hand. They've been fighting…a lot.

"Kate and Garrett are fine. They set up their mobile home just behind Irina's. I get the feeling Kate doesn't like the new boyfriend very much, either." She looked up and released our hands as the meeting ended. "Alice has been staying in your trailer, but I don't know if she plans to go back with Esme or stay in her gypsy cart at the—"

"She can stay with us," I said, looking up at Edward to make sure he agreed.

"Absolutely," he responded. "I don't think she should be on the grounds after hours."

"Good," Renee said, looking a little more relieved. "I'd much rather keep the three of you together, anyway. Alice really hasn't been herself lately." Renee glanced around at the dwindling crowd, spotting Madge talking with Mrs. Cope. "I need to talk to Mama C about lunch on Saturday. Are you two going to be alright?"

"Sure," I replied with a shrug. "I guess we should go check out the booth, see what kind of damage was done."

"Just…" Renee said, then paused. She looked worried as she at the two of us. "Just stick together, okay?"

"I won't let her out of my sight," Edward said firmly. Renee smiled at him before hugging us both good night.

"Behave yourselves, and come back to camp soon. Phil wants to sit around the fire pit and catch up with you both." She smiled once before turning and walking into the sea of trailers, away from the grounds. I moved in the opposite direction, Edward following along behind me.

"I can't believe Mikey's still missing." I said as we walked. Edward squeezed my hand but said nothing. "I don't even know what I would do. I mean, we have a contract, we have to move on, but I doubt I'd be able to leave him behind." Edward pulled me to a stop and wrapped his arms around me quickly.

"They didn't leave him behind," he said, his voice causing vibrations through my chest. "The authorities are looking into it. I'm sure they're keeping in touch with the Newtons."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Sure, because the cops have been so damn helpful every other time we've needed them."

Edward bent down to look me in the eye. "You said you trusted Chief Cullen."

"I do…as much as I _can_ trust him," I said seriously. "But he's still a cop, and cops don't like carnies. Even if the Chief is trustworthy, that doesn't mean the rest of his force is." Edward stared into my eyes for a moment before straightening up to his full height. He didn't appear appeased by my answer, but he didn't push the issue either.

"C'mon," he said after a pause. "Let's go check out the booth, then we'll track down Aunt Esme. I'm sure she's probably desperate to talk to you."

**xXxXx**

The flame of sunset deepened as we returned to camp, pinks and oranges darkening to burgundy and burnt umber. Edward held my hand tightly as we walked through the temporary city the other carnies had created. I'd cried when I saw the evidence of the damage to my booth, angry tears running over my face. Phil and Emmett made beautiful repairs, but I could still see the traces left behind – the slight cracks in the tubing leading up to the buzzers, the paint color that didn't quite match the rest of a clown's face, the duct tape wrapped around pump hoses.

Edward held me in his arms, soothing me with whispers of commiseration and support. He stood patiently while I investigated every inch of my booth and even helped me double check the prize cage. And when the anger and pain became too much, he helped me climb over the counter and pulled me away, promising to come back in the morning so we could make any final repairs I deemed necessary. He may not have been able to take away the hurt the vandals caused me, but he lessened the sting just by staying with me.

We reached Esme's mobile home just as the night sky began fading from purple to black. The waning moon hung low in the sky, a sliver of silver against dark velvet, wispy clouds sliding past. The energy around me felt charged and bright, and the evening breeze carried the scents of wildflowers and providence.

I knocked softly on the door, surprised to hear her soft voice calling down from the roof. "I'm up here, Bella. Use the ladder in back."

Edward gripped my hand while we walked to the rear of the motor home. I climbed first, pulling myself up with my arms until my feet could reach the bottommost rung. The metal ladder felt warm against my hands, and I soon stepped over the back safety-rail onto the roof.

"Hello, my lovelies!" Esme sat on a blanket in the middle of the roof space, sipping what looked like iced tea. "Come sit, come sit. The show is about to begin."

I glanced back at Edward in confusion, but he just shrugged his shoulders. We walked carefully across the roof to the blanket where Esme had scooted to the edge to give us room to sit. Edward dropped first, leaning back with his arms braced. I sat in between his open legs, my back resting against his chest.

"What show are we watching?" I could barely hear my own voice over the noise of the cicadas as they sang loudly around us, making me smile. The high-pitched drone, irritating to some, comforted me, and the air sounded like home. Many nights at the carnival, the cicadas had serenaded me to sleep, their song rising and falling like the breath of some mystical creature.

She smiled softly at me, and I caught the scent of freshly baked bread on the breeze. The memory of Elizabeth, looking so much like the woman before me, flashed through my mind. How could they be so different? So polar-opposite in personality when they appeared physically identical?

"My Alice is about to meet her destiny," Esme replied, pulling me from my musings of her and Elizabeth. I looked at her curiously. "Her love, Bella. He's here, in camp, and tonight they'll finally cross paths." My jaw dropped, and a million questions flew through my head, but she pointed to the left before I could ask even one. "Here she comes. Watch now."

I spotted Alice about a hundred yards away, chatting with Kate as they wove through the clutter strewn about from the various trailers. Even from far away, I could sense her joyful energy, dancing and twirling through the dark. I'd never met another person whose individual essence felt so positive.

"Can you feel her energy?" I asked Edward softly. He nodded, his stubble lightly rubbing against my cheek. He wrapped his arms around me as he shifted upright and curled us forward a bit. His positioning made me feel cared for and protected. I snuggled into him and breathed his rainy sweetness, relishing the wave of calm it brought me. Edward's very presence filled me with solace and contentment. He was my love, my fíorghrá, my true home — and now it was time for Alice to find the same elation.

When she reached the halfway point, Alice hugged Kate goodbye and turned toward where we sat watching. I quickly looked around the camp, visible from my perch atop the mobile home. A few other carnies loitered in the area, but all of them had been with our group for years. I couldn't spot anyone that would be meeting Alice for the first time.

Suddenly the air shifted, the smell of amber and sandstone surrounding me. The energy increased but moved away from the brightness of Alice alone. Something altered it, calmed it, while still making it grow stronger and deeper. This was like nothing I'd felt before, and I leaned forward with my eyes wide as I tried to determine the cause.

"Here he comes," Esme murmured, the excitement in her voice apparent. I quickly looked around the camp again, still unable to spot the newcomer. The energy continued to intensify, making my hands tremble with the power running over me. I grabbed onto Edward's forearms to hide the shaking, and he pulled me tighter.

"Look," he whispered, pointing to our right. My eyes followed the path of his finger almost instantly. Even in the gloom of twilight, I recognized the black fedora perched atop the long, brown hair that should be blond.

"That's him; it has to be." Edward kissed my temple as we watched Alice and Jasper move toward one another, each apparently oblivious to what was about to happen.

Emotions shot through my body in an unfamiliar rush – affection, longing, optimism, trust. They pushed and prodded, bringing me to the brink of tears before almost making me laugh with giddiness. Edward must have felt the same sensations because he pulled me tight and crossed his legs over mine. The energy surged with our increased contact, pulsing and stroking along my skin in waves of pure pleasure.

"Jesus, this is intense," Edward murmured. I nodded silently as my heart raced in my chest. His lips brushed against my ear, sending chills along my spine, and I moaned quietly. "If they feel even half of what we do right now, we may not be having a house guest after all."

I slid my hands down his arms to grip his wrists, curling my fingers into his skin harshly. He didn't seem to mind, even though I knew my nails had to be biting into him. I was simply excited to share this moment with him, knowing he could feel the same sensations I could. I shivered, and he pulled my body closer, wrapping himself almost completely around me.

Alice and Jasper followed their meandering paths until they were only a trailer apart, both heading to the aisle directly below us. They turned their respective corners at the same moment, walking slowly toward each other. Her floaty, sage skirt whipped around her ankles as she drifted in his direction, not paying attention to the person in front of her. He also appeared distracted, his eyes locked on the ground directly in front of his feet.

Every sensation around us grew – the energy, the emotions, the perfume of their potential love. I shivered repeatedly and drew in large gulps of air as I tried to control the urge to yell to them, make them look up and see each other for the first time. The anticipation was like walking a knife's edge, and we were all about to tumble over the side.

They were less than fifteen feet apart when they seemed to realize the path in front of them wasn't empty. Their heads rose in unison, their eyes obviously locking together. In the split second of their first encounter, there was no sense of gravity or the world slowing. I felt no pause, no shift, no pull between the two of them.

What I did feel was something almost too intense to describe while the world continued to spin and the cicadas continued to sing. It felt like one strong burst of love and joy, happiness and comfort. A single pulse filled with everything good and pure around us released the second their eyes met. The feeling faded slowly into the night, leaving behind a sense of completion and relief.

We continued to sit in the relative silence of the summer cicadas, neither conversing nor moving. Alice and Jasper spoke quietly below, moving closer together at an agonizingly slow pace. Though I couldn't hear their words, I could discern the happy tone of my best friend's voice, and I knew she understood who Jasper was to her.

"Holy shit," Edward whispered eventually. I nodded against him, unable to find the words necessary to describe what just happened. After several minutes of continued silence, I turned toward Esme.

"What _was_ that?"

She smiled beatifically and said, "That, my dear, was what my grandmother called síorghrá or eternal love. It's the strongest of all the loves, the most pure." She looked back to the darkened walkway where Alice and Jasper had been standing moments before, still smiling. I hadn't seen them leave, but I knew they were still together - they had to be. "Those two have spent lifetimes coming together, always searching for one another. Through impossible odds or just geographical distance, they searched." She sighed softly and tilted her head back, her face turned toward the night sky. "They're quite young to have already found each other; my Alice is very lucky not to have to wait as long as some of her former selves."

I remained silent, enjoying the residual happiness floating around us as she stood slowly and collected her empty glass. She had taken a few steps away before Edward unwrapped his body from around mine and helped me to my feet. We followed behind the elder Brandon, carrying the blanket with us as we walked toward the back of the mobile home.

"Carlisle and Chief Cullen will be here tomorrow night." Esme said casually when we finally all stood back on asphalt. My eyes darted to meet hers. "I think we should take the Chief out for dinner as a way of thanking him for driving all this way just to catch up, maybe somewhere outside of town."

She stared into my eyes intently, not saying anything more. I understood the hidden meaning behind her words immediately – the camp wasn't a safe place for our conversation. A chill traveled down my spine as I realized my adopted family could no longer fully be trusted. That thought almost shattered my heart.

"Don't you think—" Edward began to say, but Esme cut him off.

"We'll all catch up tomorrow night." She placed her hands on either side of his face and pulled him down to rest their foreheads together, whispering softly. "My sweet boy, I know what you want, but you will have to have just a little bit of patience. Tomorrow, okay?"

He nodded against her, frowning slightly. She pulled away and faced me, hands in the air. I smiled my approval, and she repeated the same posture as with Edward — hands on my cheeks, foreheads together.

"So much, so much, so much," she chanted softly. Her eyes squeezed shut, her fingers trembling along my hairline. "It's too much." She opened her eyes and looked at me worriedly. "Don't take anything for granted, and don't make assumptions. We'll do what we can to help…"

Small fireworks sounded from somewhere within the camp, startling me and making Esme jump back a step. I chuckled nervously, and she smiled shallowly.

"Go now," she said. "Get some rest; tomorrow will be a very long day." She turned and moved toward her mobile home. I watched her walk away, feeling completely unsettled by our exchange, or lack thereof.

"Congratulations," I said suddenly, remembering her reunion with Carlisle. She glanced back at me with a questioning look, her hand on the door. "On you and Carlisle. He seems like a really nice guy."

She grinned. "He is extremely nice, and such a forgiving spirit to allow me this second chance after all the torment I put him through." Her words triggered the memory of Elizabeth with the strange man, the way I felt the familiar pull between them. The same pull I'd felt between Renee and Phil, Esme and Carlisle, Edward and myself.

"Hey, Esme," I called just as she closed the screen door. She peeked back at me, holding the door open with one hand. "Does everyone get a second chance?" She stepped out onto the top step and crossed her arms over her chest, her brow furrowing as the screen slammed shut. "What I mean is, if a fíorghrá loses their other half, like if one of them dies or something, is there ever the possibility of them getting a second chance?" She didn't answer me. Taking a deep breath, I asked the only question that could explain what I felt between Elizabeth and the man.

"Could they ever find another true love?"

Esme stared for a moment, her face blank and her eyes guarded. Edward said nothing behind me; I had yet to tell him of my suspicions about his father and mother…and her friend. I needed to be more certain, to know if what I suspected was even possible before I accused his mother of lying to him his entire life.

After several uncomfortable moments of silence, Esme sighed. "The love between fíorghrás is all-consuming and never ending. You know; you feel it. Even when Edward hurt you, when you ran, you felt the need to return to him." The heavy scent of sadness crashed into me as she lifted her face toward the sky. "My arrogance caused Carlisle more pain than I would wish upon my worst enemy, and I will never forgive myself for that. I suffered as well during our time apart, but it is nothing compared to what I put him through."

She looked back toward Edward and I, the evidence of the emotional haunting within her making her appear older, more fragile. I stepped toward her without thought, never taking my eyes away from hers. Esme appeared to shrink in stature as she quietly said the words which would answer my question.

"I was offered a second chance at love, but others are not nearly as lucky." The drone of the cicadas faded into the evening wind, leaving us in an almost eerie silence before Esme continued. "If one fíorghrá died, the other would spend the rest of their days mourning for them." She reopened the door and stepped inside, and I followed behind her, climbing the stairs quickly. She stood on one side of the screen while I stopped on the other, only inches apart as she barely whispering the rest.

"There can only be one, Bella. Love, lust, trust and hope would expire with their fíorghrá. It's why most pairs die within days of one another. It's why we feel the intense need to stay close to them. Why we'd do anything to protect them." She glanced behind me to where I knew Edward stood, waiting for me. I didn't need to turn; I knew he was still there. I could feel him, could practically taste him on the air.

"But when I saw, um," I whispered, stumbling a bit as to whether I should say the name Elizabeth or not. I chose to err on the side of caution. "When I saw her, I felt..._this_."

I subtly waved my hand in Edward's direction, hoping she would understand I meant the pull. She looked over my shoulder at Edward again, but her eyes remained unfocused. A haunted look of anger and pain washed over her face as she took a deep breath and met my gaze.

"If the love was true," she whispered firmly, yet barely loud enough for me to hear. "If the pair really were fíorghrás, then one could not survive in a world where the other didn't exist." My mouth fell open, and my heart thumped painfully as her words cleared the confusion from my mind.

Esme stared while I allowed her confirmation to shift and realign the pieces of the puzzle. The stranger was Elizabeth's fíorghrá, not Edward's father. She'd lied – to Edward, to his dad, to their family. I now knew this, knew it with a certainty that pushed all the way down into my bones. What I didn't know was why or how.

I turned and met Edward's worried eyes, feeling a slight bit of the calm he always gave me. He cocked his head to one side, probably wondering what Esme and I were talking about. When he lifted his hand to me, offering and requesting, I stepped toward him without thought. He was my home, where I needed to be, what I needed to protect.

When I reached him he pulled me close and kissed my temple, inhaling deeply against my skin. I did the same, tucking my face into his chest and clinging to him.

"Good night, Aunt Esme." He turned us in the direction of our trailer and wrapped his arm tightly around my shoulder. I followed his gentle pull willingly.

"Good night, Edward," Esme replied. "And Bella?" I looked at her over my shoulder, refusing to release the man at my side. "Don't forget – not even true love gets a second chance from death."

**xXxXx**

Edward and I walked slowly around Esme's mobile hand and into the 'wagon-circle' Phil had set up. The placement of the mobile homes and trailers made a semi-private courtyard. In the middle of the space, someone had dug a small fire pit. Flames danced and wiggled in the depression, throwing sparks into the air and warming the area with an orange glow.

Hands grasped together and hanging between us, we approached the backside of my Jayco, skirting along the edges of the circle. There was no conversation between Edward and I, no lighthearted words of comfort and peace. We each stayed silently trapped in our own minds, the pictures of my thoughts drifting in and out of focus as he simply clung to my hand.

We were still walking past an unfamiliar RV, probably Tanya's new home, when we heard Phil calling out from near the bonfire. "Hey, you two! Get your asses over here." He sounded happy and lighthearted, an almost perfect inversion of the darkness tickling around my heart. Edward moved us toward the center of the ring, but I stopped.

"I need to use the rest room," I said, stepping back and looking toward the Jayco. The window over the dinette glowed softly even though the blinds were closed. Alice must have left a night light on for us. "You go ahead; I'll be right out."

"Are you sure?" he asked. Our hands slid as the distance between us grew, fingers weaving together to keep us connected to the last second. I smiled and nodded, even though I wasn't sure. I didn't want to leave his side, but I knew my fear of being separated was ridiculous and unnecessary. Instead of voicing my unease, I turned away, wanting to move quicker so I could return to his warm gaze and calming embrace.

Thoughts of death and dishonesty filled my head as I unlocked the door, not even pausing long enough to look around once I entered the familiar space. The trailer didn't feel like home without Edward, and that realization made my heart ache with an odd sense of loneliness. The feeling grew as I took the few steps to the bathroom door, closing and locking it behind me. The space felt too tight, too small, too confining. A drop of sweat trickled down the side of my face while the sense of unease increased.

Something definitely wasn't right. The heavy weight of fear and sadness grew while I used the facilities, quickly turning into a feeling of anxiety when I began washing my hands. The face in the mirror looked unfamiliar – pale and drawn, with deep purple smudges under bloodshot eyes. My almost white lips were open, allowing my breath to come in pants, when the crushing squeeze of full-on panic overwhelmed me. I spun in the small space and clawed at the bathroom door, desperate to escape the overwhelming dread trying to smother me, to suffocate me.

"Edward," I said, almost whimpering. His face gave me a tiny break, a momentary pause in my chaotic thoughts, but it was enough for me to see the little brass fixture on the door that guaranteed my escape from the stifling room. I turned the lock and pulled the handle, throwing the door open and probably damaging the wall behind it, but I didn't care. I tripped over the threshold in my haste to get away from the feeling of claustrophobia wrapping around me and landed roughly on my hands and knees.

The tightness in my chest didn't lessen; instead, the panic grew stronger, cold fingers squeezing my heart. I couldn't catch my breath, couldn't seem to calm the intense beating of my heart in my chest. The beating was so fast, so heavy, pounding the blood through my ears until I could hear nothing else.

I slowly crawled toward the main door, chanting Edward's name in my head, praying for a reprieve from the terror now threatening to steal the very breath from my lungs. I had just passed the refrigerator when I noticed a pair of dark shoes blocking my way. I struggled to pull my gaze up, black spots forming in my vision from a lack of oxygen as I began to hyperventilate.

_Please be Edward._

Bright blue eyes stared back into mine. Eyes I recognized - eyes I'd seen before – eyes that sent a chill all the way down my spine. The unknown yet familiar woman reached toward me, one hand moving in front of my face as the other seemed to reach for my arm.

A sense of survival bubbled up in my chest, a need to do whatever it took to stay alive, stay with my family, stay with my love. I harnessed every bit of strength I could and tried to scream for Edward, tried to back away from the encroaching hand, but the lack of oxygen made me weak, and the scream quickly died on my tongue.

I looked up through tear-filled eyes and focused on the dark red hair of the woman who had seemed to track me through Chicago. Her blue eyes watched me, unblinking, almost emotionless. A lock of hair fell across her forehead as she dropped to her knees in front of me, and I stared at it while the darkness closed in around me. I had no fight left, no strength to battle for breath and blood and life. Esme's words came back to me, and my heart shattered as I pictured Edward's green eyes.

_One could not survive in a world where the other didn't exist._

As I finally succumbed to the call of unconsciousness, my brain sputtered one final time to focus on that dark red lock of hair hanging across my assailant's forehead. The dark red hair that didn't match her blonde eyebrows.

.

.

.


	22. Gunpowder and Sparks

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

_._

Noises floated around me, fuzzy and indistinct. I struggled to listen, to understand, to navigate my way through the darkness that refused to release me. My throat burned as if I'd gargled with rock salt, and a great weight seemed to rest upon my chest, making it difficult to breathe. A foreign blanket of peace covered me, calming my fears, staving off my anxiety, though it wasn't an entirely comfortable sensation. The noises grew louder, clearer, until I could finally recognize them as voices, as words spoken nearby.

"That boy's going to kill us if she doesn't wake up soon."

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was trying to do what Dad told me to."

"Don't blame this one on me, guy. I told you to keep close, not break into her home."

"See! You never should have—"

"Oh, shut up, Casanova! If you hadn't been so busy making googly eyes at your new girlfriend, I wouldn't have needed to be in the trailer. I couldn't leave Bella unprotected to chase after that woman, but I couldn't stay outside in case either of them saw me. What was I supposed to do?"

"You were supposed to keep her safe! You were supposed to monitor without interaction! You were supposed to figure out how to control your gift at some point in your life!"

"Well, excuse me, Mr. Perfect! You have no idea—"

"Shut up, both of you!"

My eyes flew open as the voice of my dad roared over the others. Phil stood across from me, halfway in my room and halfway in the hall. His presence was at once calming and anxiety inducing. Calming because I felt safe with him, protected. But his back and shoulders looked tense, as if he were ready for a fight, and his stance gave me the impression that he purposefully blocked the entryway to my bedroom . . . to me. I didn't know who else was in my trailer, but I suddenly wanted to find out.

"Dad." My voice came out scratchy and quiet, barely audible even to my own ears. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Dad."

Phil turned, shock and relief evident on his face. "Hey there, baby. How're you feeling?" He covered the ground between us in two strides and sank to a crouch beside the bed.

I sat up carefully, still feeling a little light-headed. "I'm fine, I think. What happened? Who were you talking to?"

"Oh, I . . . uh, see it was . . . but I." He sighed and suddenly looked very guilty as he whispered, "Your mom's gonna kill me." He stood and walked to the door, signaling to someone. As Phil came back to sit on the edge of my bed, the crisp scent of a winter wind filled the room, and a slender middle-aged man appeared in the doorway.

"Hey there, Bella."

"Uncle Caius," I said, surprised to see him standing in my trailer. I knew from talking with Jasper the he was joining the carnival along with Rose, but he never mentioned his dad coming along for the summer. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here because of you." His voice sounded harsh, almost cold, and I flinched as his words hit me. He sighed and said quietly, "What the hell have you gotten yourself into, Bella?" I wasn't exactly sure what I'd done to warrant such a reaction, but I could guess it had something to do with Edward. Rather, Edward's mom and her friends.

"I didn't do anything," I said quietly, sounding more like a child than I would have liked. Phil placed his hand on mine in reassurance, but it wasn't the touch I needed. Where was Edward? Why wasn't he here with me, helping me? I wanted to ask Phil questions about the redhead and where Edward was, but Caius' intimidating presence made me too uncomfortable.

Caius held my gaze with an emotionless mask on his face. I hated that look, hated that I knew how he learned it and why he needed it. He stood motionless, his body language practically screaming of the military training he'd endured years before I ever met him. He looked calm, in control . . . he looked like a time bomb waiting to explode.

When I was a kid, he reminded me of a fairytale prince, with his white-blond hair always tied back in a ponytail and his crystal blue eyes. I would sit with him and trace the ink along his arms while he explained what each tattoo meant, always patient. He went with me when I got my first tattoo, his gunpowder and wintery scent calming my nerves as his Army buddy traced the letters I'd requested for my spine.

The mask Caius wore as he stood in my doorway with his arms crossed made him appear to be more of a villain than the prince I remembered, and my heart raced with fear.

Caius took a deep breath through his nose, his chest puffing up. "You didn't do anything? If that were true, my kids and I wouldn't be out here in the middle of nowhere trying to keep you from—"

"Easy, Cai," Phil said suddenly, his voice a warning. Caius glared at him for a moment before sighing.

"Fine," he spat, still looking at Phil. "But we need to talk, man. I agreed to your rules because this was a simple watch patrol, but the game has changed." He glanced at me, his eyes still hard. "We need to start doing things my way because I don't want any of our kids in this situation again."

Phil paused, then nodded slightly and closed his eyes for an extended moment. Caius seemed to take that as an agreement. His face relaxed a bit, and his stance changed from his stiff military posture as he shifted to lean against the doorframe.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Caius said after a tense few seconds. "But you and Rose scared the living shit out of me this evening."

I smiled in spite of the tension around us. "Rose is here?"

Caius nodded as a shock of very familiar dark red hair appeared over his shoulder. I screamed and tried to jump back, failing to escape from my tangled sheets and landing in a heap on the floor beside my bed.

"I told you to take the damn wig off before you saw her." Jasper's drawl came from the living area, and another unnatural sense of calm wrapped around me. It helped but made my skin feel too tight, too itchy.

"Shit! Sorry, sorry!" Rose rushed to remove the wig and step around her father. Phil came to help me off the floor, fighting the smirk that obviously wanted to creep across his face.

"Are you seriously about to laugh at me?" I glared at him as he set me on the edge of the bed and helped me release my ankles from the twists of cotton.

"I wouldn't think of it . . . Thumper." He and Caius snorted a laugh, and I rolled my eyes at the nickname.

"I haven't 'thumped' into anything in a long time," I said, my voice sounding childish and petulant even to my own ears. Phil and Caius laughed harder as I pouted.

"Leave the poor girl alone, you two," Rose said. I stared at her unusual white-blonde hair, thick and shiny and falling in waves almost to her waist. Between the hair, the ice-blue eyes, and the pale skin, there was no denying she was Caius' daughter. I would have recognized her immediately if she hadn't worn the wig.

She approached me slowly, her steps jerky as she seemed to battle with herself over whether I wanted her closer. The scent of rosemary, talcum powder and sparks tickled against my nose, barely discernible even in the small space. Her unique scent had always been light, but it seemed even softer than the last time I'd seen her. I'd never experienced someone's scent fading over time, and I briefly wondered what it could mean.

Her indecision grew more apparent as she stopped moving, uncertainty plain on her face. I hopped off the bed and hurried toward her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders and squeezing tightly.

"What the hell, Rose," I said. We stepped apart, both smiling at the other. "I totally didn't recognize you with that," I pointed at the disgusting mass of red 'hair' on the floor, "_thin__g_ covering your hair."

"That was kind of the point," Jasper said as he sidled past his dad and came to give me a hug. "Sorry for all the drama. This one," he pointed at his sister with his thumb, "still hasn't quite figured out how to wrap it up when she's spreading the love."

"You're such a pig," Rose said while Jasper grinned.

"He always has been." I stepped away from them, curiosity over why the three Whitlocks were in my trailer once again forcing its way to the forefront of my thoughts. "So, is someone going to tell me what's—"

"Okay, you three," Phil interrupted me. He and Caius shared an intense look before he continued. "I think we'd better move this party outside before Edward figures out something's wrong. Jasper, why don't you go collect Alice and Edward from the Winnie. I'm sure they've both had about enough of Renee's distractions." Jasper nodded quickly, then winked at me and spun around to hurry down the hall.

"Rose," Caius said, turning to face his daughter. "I'll take over for the night. I want you to go get a good night's sleep; just make sure you lock up the truck and set the alarms." She nodded at him, then kissed his cheek.

"Goodnight, Daddy," she whispered. "Night, Uncle Phil. I'll see you tomorrow, Bella." As soon as we heard the door shut behind her, Phil and Caius turned to stare at me.

"What?" I asked, uncomfortable with their attention. Caius rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, offering me a respite from his cold gaze.

"You're going outside with your dad," he said finally, dropping his hands to his hips. "You and Phil will sit by the fire for the next thirty minutes while I secure the perimeter of the circle. After thirty minutes, you and Edward will come back here for the night." He stepped into the hallway, speaking over his shoulder while he moved toward the door. "Don't tell the boy what happened tonight; we'll go over everything tomorrow. Lock your doors and windows, and for God's sake, don't go running off by yourself again. I'll talk to you in the morning, Phil."

He stepped outside, grumbling about being 'too old' and 'kids not listening' while the door swung closed behind him. Phil remained between me and the exit, still looking as if he was blocking me from something.

"Dad?" I wrapped my fingers around his elbow, and he covered my hand with his.

"We can't be in camp when we talk about all this," he said quietly.

"What am I supposed to say to Edward?" A feeling of dread landed heavily in my gut, knowing what his answer would be. I tried to wrap my head around the possibility of holding this kind of information from my love . . . of lying to him.

Phil sighed quietly, and my heart sunk to the floor.

"You say nothing for now," he murmured. I looked up at him questioningly, but he just shook his head. "It's not safe to talk about anything important in camp, especially if it has to do with the Whitlocks or the Masens." He leaned down, his lips practically brushing my ear as he whispered softly, "Tomorrow, Bella. You can talk about everything when we go to meet with the Chief. I know you don't like it, and Edward will like it even less, but Cai and I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. Okay?"

He stepped back, meeting my gaze once more. "Give your old dad a little trust for now. That's all I ask."

I nodded slowly, anger and fear flaring inside of me. I would have to wait to find out what had happened here tonight, why the Whitlocks were in my trailer, why Rose followed me to Chicago. And I would have to figure out something to tell Edward. He would want to know what happened once I left to use the restroom in the trailer, why I was gone so long. I hated the thought of deceiving him.

I had wanted to sit down and tell him my thoughts about his parents, about how they couldn't have been fíorghrás, but I figured that would also have to wait. He needed to know, deserved to, really. But Phil wouldn't ask me to hold my tongue if it wasn't important. I knew that.

Phil leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of my head, and I wondered if he had any idea of how hard the next twenty-four hours were going to be on me. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into a side hug as if answering my unspoken fears.

"It'll be okay," he said quietly into my hair. My eyes stung with tears, but I refused to let them fall. In less than twenty-four hours, I could tell Edward exactly what I knew, what my thoughts were in regards to his parents, what had happened here tonight. In less than twenty-four hours, we would know what was happening around us and how we should respond to it.

In less than twenty-four hours, I would admit to withholding information from him and beg for his forgiveness.

"C'mon, kid. Let's go make sure your mom and Edward are still getting along."

**xXxXx**

Time passed slowly, lurching forward like the monsters in a horror movie. I was edgy, anxious to get through the moment between when Phil and I walked out of my trailer and when we could all finally talk about the strange things going on around us.

Edward obviously felt my nervousness, understood that something was bothering me. He tried to pull me out of my funk, but I refused to budge. If I relaxed, if I allowed myself a second of peace, I'd slip. I kept my answers to his questions short and concise, doing everything in my power to avoid outright lying to him.

"Where've you been?"

"In the trailer."

"What took you so long?"

"I was talking with friends."

"Who?"

"No one you know."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

For the thirty minutes we were required to sit around the fire pit, this went on. The tension between us grew with each clipped answer, with each distraction I grasped onto to avoid his words, his gaze. When the thirty minutes passed, I jumped up and walked directly to the trailer door, leaving Edward to follow behind me. I hated myself for making him worry, but I couldn't see another way to keep from telling him everything. Once inside, his interrogation began again.

"Tell me what's going on."

"Nothing."

"Bella."

"I said it's nothing."

An irritated sigh. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

A pause, fingers running nervously through hair. "Are we okay?"

Tears and frustration and anger rose within me as the full realization of the situation I found myself in slammed into my chest. I felt torn between the two most important men in my life, knowing whichever path I chose would disappoint one of them. Either I could listen to Phil, the only father I'd ever known, and keep Edward in the dark, or I would ignore his warning and tell Edward everything, possibly putting him in danger. The stress of the moment grew – scratching against my skin, the energy uncomfortable, the fiery smell of dishonesty burning my nose.

I wanted to tell Edward everything, to open up and share this burden, yet I held it all in, only replying, "We're fine."

We slept in the same bed but faced away from each other, not touching. I wanted to snuggle into his warmth, to feel his arms around me and bury myself in his sweet scent, but I couldn't. I knew I'd break if I got to close, got too comfortable, so I curled into myself and stayed on the far side of the bed. When I finally heard his breathing deepen and even out, I let go of the tension filling me; I let the tears fall.

Less than twenty-four hours – it became my mantra, a countdown within my mind. I could live that long with the hell of guilt and anger burning through me. I could avoid Edward's touch, his worried gaze, his questions for that long. I could wait to talk to him, to be honest with him. At least I hoped I could.

The next morning I awoke in an empty bed, Edward's side already cold. His absence spoke more than any words he could have said, and I felt my chest constrict as I realized how upset he had to be to leave me in bed, alone, with no note or goodbye kiss.

I crawled out of bed slowly, feeling pains all the way down to my bones. My throat still ached from the night before, and my eyes burned from the tears I'd shed overnight. The muscles in my back felt stiff from the position I had forced myself to sleep in, and my neck was tight with residual tension.

_Twelve more hours - I only have to make it through twelve more hours._

My heart dropped even more when I walked into the living area and didn't spot Edward. He really had left this morning. I wanted to chase him down and apologize, to find Phil and Caius and demand they tell us everything. Instead, I walked into the bathroom, heartbroken but resigned. Less than twelve hours.

After showering and preparing for the day, I stepped outside, surprised to find Edward sitting in a chair at the end of the steps. His hair sat in total disarray, more so than normal, as if he'd been running his fingers through it all morning. He sat staring away from the trailer, shoulders hunched, head bent forward a bit . . . defeated.

"Hey," I said tentatively when my feet touched down on the grass. I stopped directly behind him, desperate for contact. My fingers twitched as I watched the wind rustle through his wavy hair, the sun highlighting the gold strands amidst the brown and red. I breathed in his rainy scent, surrendering to it, and bent over to rest my head on top of his. He reached up and trailed his fingers lightly over my cheek before dropping his hand back into his lap. It wasn't enough touch. He could have wrapped himself around me, covering me with his body, and it wouldn't have been enough.

"I know something's going on." His voice was quiet, but I could still hear the hurt and anger within the words. "Just yesterday we were arguing on the side of the road because I wouldn't tell you what I was thinking, now you're the one keeping secrets." He waited, perhaps to collect his thoughts or to give me a chance to respond. I squeezed my eyes shut and held my breath, unable to speak as the truth behind his words clouded around me.

"Why won't you talk to me?"

My heart shattered in my chest at the hurt in his voice. The unmistakable melted plastic scent of disappointment and hurt crawled over my senses, not flooding or overwhelming. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and dropped my head to the crook of his neck, pressing a kiss against his shoulder while my tears dampened his shirt.

"I can't," I whispered. "Not yet. Please."

He didn't respond, didn't return my affections or offer me any sign that he understood. After a few moments, he simply pulled away from me, unwrapping my arms from his shoulders and rising from the chair. He wore dark sunglasses that hid his eyes, but his jaw looked tense and he held his lips together in a tight line. The scent of electricity and vines choked me, the anger causing them rolling off Edward in waves. I had never missed the smell of rain more than I did in that moment.

"The carnival opens in an hour," he said finally. His voice sounded hollow, emotionless, and another stab of fear and regret sliced through my heart. "We should get to the grounds."

He turned and quickly walked away, taking my heart with him. Indecision made me freeze for a moment before the words we'd shared over the course of our relationship came flooding back to me.

_No doubts. My pulse. Together._

I rushed after him, knowing I needed to fix this, to reassure him that everything was okay between us. He was my heart, my love, and I needed him to understand. This tension was all my fault, and I couldn't spend another moment with it between the two of us.

"Edward. Wait!" He stopped but didn't turn around. I ran the last few steps toward him, grabbing his hand as soon as I reached his side. He gave no reaction, just allowed me to grab his limp hand and pull it toward me. "I know you're upset but please, I love you. I hate that there's something coming between us."

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" he asked. I opened my mouth, ready to tell him everything, but Phil's warning about the lack of safety in camp made me doubt.

"I . . . can't," I said quietly. He pulled his hand away from mine and took a step back. I reached for him with tears in my eyes. "Please, I need you to trust me on this. I'll explain everything tonight, I swear."

"Trust is a two-way street, Bella." He removed his sunglasses, the deep red of his bloodshot eyes contrasting with the malachite irises. "Why can't you trust me enough to tell me now? Why couldn't you trust me enough to tell me last night?"

"Edward, I . . . " I trailed off, unsure of how to proceed, of what I could say to explain. He waited for a few beats, then blew out a breath, his shoulders curling forward in defeat, and began walking toward the grounds once more.

"We're going to be late."

**xXxXx**

Within the first two hours of the carnival opening, Edward had left my booth to assist Alice at her gypsy cart. While his absence made me feel alone and distracted, it also gave me space away from the tension between us so I could think. The carnival wasn't particularly busy, and my mood seemed apparent to the patrons because they rarely braved the midway to stop and play.

I spotted Rose, red wig back in place, and Caius in the crowd on numerous occasions. Neither approached the booth nor gave me any indication that they wanted to talk; they simply walked by. I hated seeing them, hated knowing they were out there watching out for some threat of which I was not yet fully aware. I hated that they reminded me of how badly I'd screwed up with Edward.

When Rose passed by for the fourth time, I had a sudden urge to run, to escape. I wanted to find Edward, grab him and race back to my cabin in Tennessee. I wanted to strip him naked in front of the fireplace, wrap my body around his and forget everything outside those four walls. But deep down I knew the only thing I really wanted was him, next to me, no matter in what city we stood.

Edward didn't return until after closing. He no longer wore the sunglasses, and I noticed his eyes appeared slightly less bloodshot as they met mine. His hair looked freshly brushed, and he wore a different color shirt from the one I'd cried on this morning. I looked away only long enough to close and lock the final prize cage, but when I glanced back his eyes were focused on the ground.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked with no warmth in his voice. My heart thumped painfully in my chest as I nodded and climbed over the counter to join him in the midway aisle. "Esme gave me directions to some bar a couple of towns over. We'll be meeting everyone there."

He walked in front of me, his limp obvious as I followed him. I wondered what he'd done all day, where he'd been. I wanted to know what happened and why he was in enough pain to be limping once again. I wanted him to talk to me, but he offered me nothing. I couldn't blame him for holding onto his silence.

"Edward, please," I said quietly when we finally reached the truck. He didn't answer, just opened the passenger door for me and helped me climb inside. He slammed the door behind me and walked around the front to the driver's side. He paused after he buckled the seatbelt, his breathing heavy and deep.

"You can't tell me anything, Esme can't tell me anything – both of you keep putting me off, making me wait to find out what's happening," he said angrily. "I'm not a child, and I'm certainly not helpless. If you're in trouble . . . if _we're_ in trouble, I want to know. I don't want to have to wait to hear it."

"I know," I replied softly, staring at my hands in my lap. "I'm so sorry."

He snorted a disgusted laugh as he started the truck, the roar of the engine making me wince. "Please don't try and pacify me. I don't want you to apologize when you obviously don't mean it."

"I do mean it," I said strongly, finally raising my eyes to watch him. His hands gripped the wheel tightly, his knuckles white, as he drove down the highway leading west out of town. "If I could go back, I'd tell Phil and Uncle Caius no. I'd tell them there was no way I could keep secrets from you."

"Uncle Caius?" he asked. "Jasper's dad?"

I nodded. "He's here because of me, because something's going on." I shook my head and stared out the passenger window, fear creeping along my spine. "He owns a private security firm in Texas. It's not your standard security stuff he deals with. If my dad called him in then there's something big going on, but no one would tell me what. Dad just said we had to wait until tonight, until we were away from camp."

He didn't meet my gaze as I watched him drive. Instead, he stared out the window, the honeyed light of sunset caressing his face, adding depth to the features and angles I loved so much. He must have felt my stare because he glanced in my direction, his lips curving into a soft smile. He reached across the console timidly, tracing his fingers along the bones of mine.

"It's not safe there?" Edward asked quietly. I gripped his hand with mine, breathing in the sweet scent of him as my heart calmed and the tension in my shoulders melted.

"Apparently not." I shivered and brought my knees up to my chest, resting my heels on the edge of the seat. I kept our hands locked together, holding them against my shin. "Please don't hate me for listening to them. I know I was wrong, but they're my family. They've always looked out for me. I didn't really think to question them until it was too late."

Edward didn't reply, just drove toward our destination. The sky lit up in bright fuchsia streaks for just a few seconds as the sun finally disappeared below the horizon line. The bright pink light filled the cab of the truck, reminding me of hope and love and peace. It made me think of my cabin in Tennessee, of sunrises over Thunderhead, of new beginnings . . . and of the man next to me, letting go of his pride to plead with me for forgiveness.

"Le do thoil, a stór." I heard rather than saw Edward's sharp intake of breath, and I hoped I was on the right path. "Le do thoil. Don't hate me. I swear I never meant to hurt you." I dropped my forehead to my knees, disheartened when I received no response. "Le do thoil, a stór. Le do thoil."

I brought my head back up as I felt the truck slow. Edward continued to stare out the front window as he drove onto the shoulder of the road. Once the wheels stopped turning, he shifted into park and unbuckled his seat belt, releasing my hand in the process. My heart fluttered a bit as hope tickled my nose, all floral and sweet. He took a deep breath and turned toward me, his eyes intense and searching. I stared back as he reached across the console and pulled me slowly into his embrace. My arms wrapped around his neck as I collapsed against him, so thankful to feel his warmth once again.

"I could never hate you," he murmured against my hair. I gripped him tighter, nuzzling my nose under his jaw and breathing as deeply as I could. "You really made me mad, though. You can't just cut me out like you did." His hand ran down the length of my hair, soothing me with the familiar touch. "We could have driven out of camp to talk, or written things on paper so no one could overhear. We could have done something . . . anything. Anything would have been better than hiding from me like you did."

"You're right. I'm so sorry." I cried softly as I held him to me. He continued to slide his hand along my back, over my hair, as he shushed me softly.

"Shhh, it's okay, chéadsearc. We're okay." He repeated the words like a prayer, soft and quiet, light and hopeful.

"There's so much I have to tell you," I murmured against his throat. "About last night, about Uncle Caius, things I wonder about your mom. It's just so much." He just shook his head slightly.

"We have this meeting with the chief tonight, and we're already running behind." He kissed the top of my head and shifted to rest his forehead against mine. "Why don't we get through that first - then, once we're alone again, you can fill me in on everything?"

"I don't think we should talk about it at camp."

He kissed the tip of my nose softly. "Then we'll talk in the truck, or we'll rent a hotel room somewhere. We'll hide out in an all-night diner or a truck stop. But we'll talk about all of it - tonight."

I nodded slightly, so thankful for his understanding and patience. After several minutes, I pulled away and wiped my eyes, gazing up at him and smiling cautiously.

"We kind of suck at this whole communicating thing."

He chuckled and kissed my forehead gently. "I was an only child with a non-existent mother figure and few friends." He placed tiny kisses along my eyebrows, my eyes, my nose, my chin. "You're an only child who is so independent you bought your own business, trailer and house at barely eighteen. Neither one of us is used to relying on other people for much." He kissed my lips softly before staring into my eyes, determination evident on his face.

"But we'll get there, Bella. We'll make mistakes and argue, but we'll learn how to talk to one another, how to include each other in our lives." He wrapped me in his arms once more, holding me against his chest as his heart pounded in my ear. I smiled and rubbed my hands up and down his back.

"I missed you," I whispered. "You were right next to me, and I missed you so much. I thought . . . I doubted—"

"No doubts, Bella. Remember?" Edward interrupted. "No doubts."

I sniffed and felt lighter, more at peace, than I had in almost twenty-four hours. "No doubts."

.

.

.


	23. Demons

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

.

"I'm not going in there."

Cold fingers of anxiety clawed at me – scraping, pinching, allowing a sense of danger to leak into my chest and drown my racing heart. I shivered in the evening heat as I looked over the rundown bar from inside the truck, feeling safer in the small cab than I would be standing outside, exposed. Something about the place gave me the creeps, and I didn't want to go in there for fear we wouldn't make it back out.

The black brick of the front wall appeared ominous, almost as if the building sucked all that was light and good inside - devouring it, destroying it. The two windows and the door in between looked dark, sunken into the stone, reminding me of a skeletal mask I'd once worn for Halloween. It didn't look like there were any lights on inside, and no sign proclaimed the name of the establishment. Just a rusty old metal plaque on one side advertising cold beer.

"This is the address Phil gave me, and that's Carlisle's Camaro." Edward pointed to the sporty car I vaguely remembered. "Besides, it's really not . . . that bad." For all his reassuring words, his voice sounded hesitant and unsure. I glanced over at him, noticing how hard he gripped the steering wheel and the way his right leg bounced with nervous energy. He obviously felt the same way I did, but was trying to hide it.

I snorted and shook my head. "If we make it out of there alive, remind me to explain to you all the reasons why this place _is _so bad."

With a deep breath, a quick collection of every single ounce of courage I had inside, and a reminder that Phil and Caius wouldn't purposefully choose somewhere dangerous to meet, I opened the door and stepped out of the truck. A harsh wind blew, pushing me back and slamming the door harder than I'd intended. I could hear no noise from inside the creepy building and relatively little from the area surrounding us. The song of the cicadas, a constant on a warm, summer night, didn't drone in the background, and the hum of traffic didn't reach this far down the stretch of mostly industrial buildings. The air stood silent almost as if in warning, and that made me even more nervous.

I took my first tentative steps away from the safety of my truck once I heard Edward's door slam closed. The cracks and potholes scattered across the asphalt slowed me down, even though a broken ankle would have been worth the pain if it meant not having to walk into that bar.

Edward moved around the front of the truck, offering his arm to help steady me. His eyes met mine, the hesitance obvious even with the lack of light. He looked so much older with the shadows falling across his face, tired and world-weary. I hated seeing him like that, and I promised myself that we would spend our next days off just relaxing in the sun together – no clandestine meetings or cryptic conversations with Phil and Caius. Just me, him and a private spot to park the Jayco.

I grabbed his forearm and held onto him like a lifeline, my emotions building and swirling inside me. The anxiety continued to grow, squeezing my heart until my chest burned and my breathing grew labored. Silver spots appeared before my eyes, flying past me in the inky dark like fireflies, making my head spin. I wobbled a bit on shaky legs, pulling hard on Edward's arm as I tried to keep myself upright.

"Edward, the—" I froze, unable to move forward. The feeling of unease grew to a level closer to panic, taking over my body and refusing to allow me to move or react. No flight or fight instincts remained, only the overwhelming sense of disaster looming through the door in front of me.

Edward turned to face me, bending at the waist to look in my eyes. His mouth moved as if he was speaking, but I could neither hear nor respond. The blood racing through my veins masked all external sound, leaving me trapped in a world of pulsing, pounding rhythm. The sound grew louder, the whoosh-thump coming faster, harder, stronger, louder . . .

Then, as suddenly as the panic grew, it disappeared, leaving behind only a twinge of pain and unease. I sagged against Edward, off-balance and out of breath, but thankful to be able to feel and breathe and hear once again.

"What the hell was that?" he asked. I couldn't answer; not only did I not know, but I simply didn't have the strength to try and explain. My body felt drained, as if I'd run a marathon and just crossed the finish line. Unable to explain the crushing emotions I'd experienced, I shook my head and gripped his arm harder. My head ached, so I closed my eyes and pulled him closer, needing his warmth and comfort to erase the last lingering aftershocks of my panic. He didn't question me again, only wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pressed me against his chest. His hands moved up and down my back, arms, sides, hips – constantly moving over my clothes and skin. After a few minutes, I took a deep breath of his sweet, rainy scent and pulled away, looking up into his eyes.

"Let's get this over with." My voice sounded rough and foreign to my ears. I cleared my throat as I stepped toward the door, pulling him along with me. His scent was my strength, the grounding point I needed to refocus on the reason we were standing outside this creepy bar in the first place. Phil, Caius, Chief Cullen . . . Elizabeth.

I paused in front of the door, psyching myself up enough to step into the darkness. "After we're done here, I want to go home, crawl in bed with you, and stay there for the foreseeable future."

"Sounds good to me." He reached around me to open the security door covering the entrance. I noticed similar barred panels covering the windows, black, with sharp points on the tops and bottoms. The framed metal bars groaned as they swung toward us, voicing their displeasure at our interruption. I stepped back, bumping into Edward, when I heard the noise, my nerves frayed from stress.

"Jesus, do they use these to keep people out or are to trap them inside?" A brief memory, a moment thinking the same thing when Phil was replacing the broken lock on my trailer, flickered through my mind, but I quickly discarded it as unimportant.

I shivered and held my breath as I stepped inside. Edward walked with me, so close his chest and hips pressed firmly against my back and one hand gripped my hip.

My shivering increased as we stood in the overly-dark interior, the only light coming from a couple of fluorescent beer signs on the walls. The air felt cooler here and not just from the HVAC units humming above us. There was an energy to the space, something chilling and unnatural, something that didn't belong. Edward moved his hands to my shoulders and kneaded the tense muscles as if he could feel my bravery slipping. Raising my chin and stiffening my spine, I took a deep breath . . .

. . . and immediately scrambled backward, knocking Edward over and toppling the two of us to the floor.

The scent of death permeated the air – heavy, overpowering, dark. It smelled like rot and pain, hopelessness and torture. The putrid odor rolled over us, encircling, smothering. It had a presence and a form – a physical manifestation of the evil energies left behind in the room. It was Beelzebub in all his gluttonous glory, sucking the happiness out of all who dared to enter; Mammon with his greedy claws scratching along my skin, coveting my strength, ready to take it for himself; Asmodeus lusting after Edward and me, desperate to locate and destroy the intense love we shared.

This building, this room, this space had seen evil. Seen it, bathed in it, and completely enjoyed it.

I gagged as the stench roared through my senses. Nothing I'd ever experienced had been this hideous, this toxic. It choked me, making my lungs feel heavy and constricted while I fought against the nausea. I could hear Edward wheezing nearby, and the sound of his labored breathing, knowing he needed my help just as much as I needed his, pulled me out of my thoughts long enough to decide on a course of action.

"We have to go." I pushed myself up onto my knees, the weight of the negativity around me making every movement an effort. The room spun, and I dropped my head and closed my eyes before the motion made me gag all over again. "We can't . . . the smell . . . someone—"

"Bella?" A voice floated through the fog in my head, but it wasn't enough to stop the primal urge screaming at me to run, to flee. Whoever spoke, he couldn't help us; somewhere inside I knew we had to find our own way out. No one could be trusted. I shook my head as he approached, tears streaming down my face.

"Ah, fuck." He sounded closer now, hovering somewhere over me. "Jasper! Get Rose out of here, now!"

I grabbed Edward's arm and pulled, knowing we would need to work together to get off the floor and out the door. Heavy footsteps reverberated in the room, coming closer, stopping too close. They would grab us, and they would take us, and they would trap us here. If we surrendered to them now, we would never escape. Knowing I needed to fight to survive, I released Edward from my grip and rocked backward. I almost fell over backwards, but a set of unfamiliar yet strong arms circled my waist and pulled me swiftly to my feet.

"Hang on, kid," someone whispered in my ear. I fought against the hold, digging my nails into flesh and thrashing my body as much as I was able. He didn't release me, though, didn't even loosen his grip. "Give it a minute, Bella. You're going to be okay."

Eventually I sagged in his hold, too tired to continue fighting against him. The press of panic slipped away slowly, retreating from my body in a slow wave of defeat as the arms of my captor held me upright. When I finally felt as if I could once again move and speak, there was only one word I wanted to say, one person I needed to find.

"Edward." My voice sounded pained and weak, but he must have heard me. Somewhere in my addled brain, I knew he would always hear me.

"I'm right here, Bella." The warmth of his touch erupted along my arms, and I leaned forward, trying to sink into him. "Give her to me." The arms around my waist tightened for a second, and I found myself pulled forward and held back at the same time. "Give her . . . now! She needs me."

After a slight pause, the arms released me, and I fell forward against Edward's chest. His arms, the ones I'd know anywhere, wrapped around me and pulled me against him as I clung to his shirt. I immediately buried my face under his jaw, breathing him in, inviting his essence into the very core of my soul.

"I've got you, chéadsearc. I'll never let anything hurt you. I've got you." Edward's words became a chant in my head, a mantra strong enough to clear the intense darkness from my thoughts. He rocked me softly, squeezing me, holding me, wrapping himself almost completely around my body in protection and comfort.

With one last breath to remind me of his nearness, I turned my face and laid my cheek against his shoulder. Phil and Caius stood a few feet away, looking troubled. The room no longer seemed as poorly lit; whether that was my own perception or a fact of my eyes adjusting, I didn't know. I glanced around the space, looking for something menacing, something that would explain the intense rush of panic I'd just felt but saw nothing out of the ordinary. The room was what anyone would expect a small bar to be – trashy paneling, faded advertisements on the wall, and shabby furniture.

I inhaled tentatively, no longer drowning myself in Edward's comforting aroma. The space no longer reeked of demons and evil energy; it smelled like dirt and mildew and stale cigarette smoke . . . mostly. Because even over the normal scents of Edward and this room, I could still discern the lingering stench of death.

"What was that?" I asked.

Phil's eyes darted to Caius before coming back to me, an angry light behind them. "Rose has been—"

"Rose sometimes has a little trouble," Caius interrupted, glaring at Phil. "Her power isn't as refined as Jasper's or their mother's – though it's much stronger. And with you," he sighed and his shoulders sagged, "she tends to get overwhelmed by your emotions. Instead of just reading them or nudging them in a direction, she amplifies them. It's not intentional, and we're working with her to figure out how to stop it."

I choked back a laugh, not feeling the least bit humorous. "Maybe she should just stay the hell away from—"

A loud slam sent a jolt of fear up my spine. I made a squeaking sound and gripped Edward harder. His arms tightened around me as we all turned to look toward the noise.

Jasper, looking murderously angry, walked in another door almost hidden in an alcove to the left of the bar. Rose followed him into the room, frowning and red-faced, having obviously been crying, but stopped in her tracks when she saw me.

"Are you in control?" Caius stepped between Rose and me, his back straight, his arms folded over his chest. Rose glanced at him, then back over to me, staring into my eyes for a few uncomfortable seconds. Her face was filled with regret and apology, but I couldn't acknowledge it. I simply glared back, feeling betrayed by someone I thought of as a friend. Finally, she looked at Caius, radiating defeat, and nodded once before she and Jasper walked across the bar and through another door.

Caius turned back toward me and moved next to Phil, the two sharing a silent conversation in the way they stared at each other. I didn't like it. I didn't like the feelings still whispering in my chest or the way this room smelled. And I really didn't like the negative energy attached to the place.

"Someone died here," I said quietly, looking between Caius and Phil. Edward stopped rocking us, his body stiffening in my arms. Caius didn't flinch, didn't give me an ounce of a reaction, but Phil wasn't as practiced at hiding his feelings. His mouth twitched down, his eyes widened briefly, and he shifted to stand a bit taller. He knew - knew what had happened here - and if Phil knew, Caius knew.

"Who was it?"

Phil glanced at Caius, who continued to stare at me with no emotion on his face. After a few tense seconds, Phil sighed as he walked the two steps to stand next to me. He reached toward me as if to place his hand on my bicep, but Edward turned us slightly so his arm was between Phil and me.

"Let's go into the back room," he said, glaring at Edward over my head. "We have a lot to talk about and not a lot of time to do it in." He stepped away, but neither Edward nor I followed. I didn't need to look up into my love's face to know he was wary, perhaps even a bit angry with them for not preparing us for what we would encounter in this meeting space.

Phil glanced back at us, his face falling when he realized we weren't following. "Please, Bella. You're safe here. We're all safe here. I promise you."

I stared into the face of the man I considered my father. He'd never lied to me, never put me in danger or treated me carelessly. He had been my teacher, my friend and my protector on more than one occasion. If he said it was safe in this cursed bar, I would believe him.

For now.

I looked up at Edward, his eyes almost unreadable in the low light, and nodded my chin toward Phil. After a few seconds' pause, he took a deep breath and stepped in the direction of the back room, his arms locked around my waist. We followed Phil past the tall counter and stools through a doorway in the back corner of the main room.

The first person I saw in the relatively clean back room was Chief Cullen. He sat at a small dining table – the kind someone would buy when they only had a kitchenette and not a full dining room. He glanced up at me as we walked in and smiled. To his right, Carlisle sat with his arms crossed across his chest, looking pensive. Esme stood behind him, her hand resting on his shoulder as she spoke to Tanya. Emmett had his arms wrapped around the kinetic's tattooed shoulders from behind, his chin buried in the strawberry-blonde waves. Jasper and Rose sat toward the back, neither looking very happy.

Caius strode to what could be considered the front of the room and turned to speak to the group. "If everyone could take a seat, we'll get this information session started."

Edward and I walked to a small table toward the back of the room while everyone else moved into empty seats. I clung to Edward's hand and, once seated, shifted my chair closer to his so my thigh and his could press together from hip to knee. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest, kissing my temple softly.

"Let's start with the basics." Caius glanced at Phil, who nodded subtly. "My name is Caius Whitlock. These two," he pointed to where Jasper and Rosalie sat together, "are my children, Jasper and Rosalie. I own a private security firm out of Texas and happen to be a long time friend of Phil's." He glanced at Edward and me briefly, the look on his face almost apologetic.

"Phil called me shortly after Bella and Edward met. Out of concern for my friend and for the little girl I consider family, I asked Jasper to monitor their situation while Rose built a dossier on Mr. Masen." My jaw dropped, and Edward stiffened next to me. "What I found concerned me enough to uproot my family so we could work together to keep these two kids safe." Again, he looked at Edward and me, though this time when he began speaking, it was directly to us, ignoring the rest of the crowd.

"I know you're not going to be happy about what I did or how, but I want you to know I acted on my own. Phil and Renee knew nothing about my plan at first, and I was honestly only trying to protect you, Bella."

Before I could say anything in return, Edward said, "What exactly did you do? And how did Jasper 'monitor' the situation?" His voice sounded cold, strained. The only other time I'd heard that angry tone had been in Esme's tent the day he called me a freak. That memory pierced through my heart, and I clutched onto Edward's hand to remind myself that he was here; we were well past that pain.

"I followed you two to Tennessee," Jasper said from my right. His words were strong, spoken with no hesitation, his normal Texas drawl almost nonexistent. "I arrived the night before you did, Edward, and then I trailed you all the way back to Alabama." I glanced up at Edward to see him watching Jasper. His green eyes blazed with anger, and he kept clenching and unclenching his jaw. "I've been the person covering most of your surveillance since then." Edward moved to stand, but I pushed down on his thigh, trying to hold him in place.

"You spied on me . . . on both of us?" I asked, stunned. Jasper stared back at me, unfazed.

"I was assigned to monitor your movements in an effort to keep you safe should anything," he glanced at Edward briefly, "happen to put you in danger. Once we determined the threat was external, Edward was included in my protection detail. We did what we thought was right to protect you, and I won't apologize for that, Bella."

"Let's stay on topic," Caius said firmly, earning a glare from Jasper and me. "Jasper, why don't you report on your surveillance up to this point?"

Jasper nodded at his father while rising to stand next to him. "I arrived at Bella's home in Tennessee on Tuesday, June twenty-ninth before dawn. This was a full thirty-six hours after Bella. I immediately performed a preliminary search of the woods surrounding her house but found nothing of concern. Tanya Denisov arrived shortly after dawn," I glanced over my shoulder at Tanya, and she stuck her tongue out at me, making me chuckle quietly, "followed by Edward Masen. Miss Denisov left the area, but Edward stayed." Jasper looked at Edward for a moment, his gray eyes unreadable. "That's when I noticed a problem."

"In the early morning hours of Wednesday, June thirtieth, I discovered a fresh set of footprints leading toward Bella's house. I followed them until I identified a large male creeping around the house. It was too dark to make out much, but he was definitely attempting to find a way inside." Jasper moved to rest his hip on an empty table in the front of the room and raked his fingers through his hair.

"I trailed him around the house until he was able to enter through an unlocked door off the deck."

"Hang on," I said, almost jumping out of my chair. "Someone . . . there was someone in my house? While I was there?"

Jasper nodded slowly. "Edward was down by the lake at that point, and I knew I couldn't keep an eye on both of you separated the way you were, so I—" he paused, his face contorting in guilt. "I swear, Bella. I wouldn't have done it if I could have thought of any other way, but I had to make a split-second decision, and it was the only way I could think of to get you and Edward back in the same space." I watched him, confused, as he rubbed his hands on his thighs and took a deep breath.

"I used my gift to make you feel afraid," he said quietly. "Edward doesn't react like most people; I don't seem to be able to control his emotions as easily, so I had to really push, which meant your emotions were much stronger than normal. Basically, I purposely gave you a panic attack to wake you up and force you to go looking for Edward."

I remembered the morning he was talking about – waking up from a nightmare, the scent of death and blood and caramel mingling. I remembered the fear I felt when I thought Edward was in trouble, and how I raced through my great room to the door . . . that wasn't closed.

"The door was open." I stared slack-jawed at Jasper, realizing exactly how much danger there really had been that night. "When I ran outside, the door was open. I thought Edward . . . but it was the other person, right? He was already in my house."

Edward turned in his chair, practically pulling me into his lap. Jasper glanced at Caius, then to someone else over my shoulder before looking back at Edward and me.

"He was definitely in the house." Jasper pointed toward Caius. "That was when I called Dad for backup. Using my gift to purposely scare someone like that isn't something I'm comfortable with, but if I hadn't, there's no telling what could have happened – to either of you."

"Did the guy come back?" Edward asked.

Jasper shook his head. "No. There were no further problems until we were back in New London."

"Mikey's joyride into her trailer," Edward said quietly. I jumped when I heard a loud thud and looked to my right. Emmett leaned forward over the table and glared at Edward.

"Don't you dare talk about my brother!"

"Cool it, McCarty," Caius interjected. "We'll deal with the Mike situation, though at this point, I don't think it has anything to do with the people still following Bella and Edward."

"Still?" I asked, ignoring Emmett and turning my attention back to Caius.

Caius nodded at Jasper, who said, "The night after you and Edward arrived in New London, I noticed a woman nosing around your space at camp. At first I didn't think too much about it – you were still on the grounds for set up with Edward, so I assumed you were safe. But after a few minutes, I realized I couldn't _feel_."

I looked at him, not really understanding what he meant. He again glanced at his dad and then over at Rose. Her head was down, her blonde hair blocking my view of her face.

"I don't understand," I asked him. Edward leaned forward, his check brushing my jaw, his breath tickling my nose. I snuggled into his warmth, happy to have him with me during this.

"She blocked me - my gift," Jasper said. A few people around the room gasped, but I refused to look away from the gray eyes staring into mine. "I don't even think she knew I was there, yet I couldn't feel a thing. Hell, I couldn't even feel my own emotions. Everything was just . . ."

"A void." I felt my heart stutter and race inside my chest. I remembered sensing the void that night, hearing the click through the door, knowing someone was in the trailer with me. And again in Edward's condo hundreds of miles away.

"She followed us, didn't she?" I asked quietly. "She tracked us to Chicago. She was in Edward's home."

"We'll discuss what happened in Chicago in a minute," Caius said as he stepped forward. "We need to finish the conversation about New London before we even begin to get into that mess."

"Bella." Jasper walked to our table and squatted directly in front of me. "I need to know what you remember of that night. I know you felt the same loss of power, but was there anything else?"

I thought back to that night – arriving at the trailer after setup, Edward leaving for pizza, showering, hearing the door close, walking out thinking it was Edward, the loss of scents, the noise.

"She clicked," I said abruptly. Jasper furrowed his brow at me. "There was a small clicking sound. It was like metal hitting metal." I turned and looked at Edward, leaning back a bit over his arm to see his face. "I didn't think much about it really, but there was a definite click. It was really subtle."

Edward smiled at me and wrapped his arms back around me, pulling me upright and forcing me to turn back toward Jasper. He was looking at Caius, who was scribbling something in a small notebook.

"Good," Jasper said, turning back toward me. "That's good, Bella. Was there anything else? Another sound? A feeling you got? Anything at all."

I shook my head. "Not that I can think of. I sensed the void, heard the click, and realized someone was in my trailer. I ran out the door before I could find out who it was."

Jasper stood and walked back over by his dad. They whispered to each other, far too low for any of us to hear, before Caius turned toward me.

"Rose arrived the following evening, and she and Jasper were able to split up patrols – one stayed at camp while the other followed the two of you. They didn't run into any more issues with the unidentified intruders." He quickly glanced over to where Carlisle, Esme and Chief Cullen sat, though I couldn't tell who he was looking at. "Was there anything else that weekend? Any odd events?"

"The lock – Chief Cullen showed me how someone had rigged it so it wouldn't lock properly."

"This was Friday the second - after the break-in, right?" Jasper asked, standing behind Caius. I nodded, and Edward pulled me up a little higher on his leg.

"But you had a problem with the lock before that, Bella." Demetri Cullen's drawl pulled my attention, and I turned toward him. "You told me you noticed the lock sticking the day before – just before Mike Newton crashed a Jeep into your Jayco."

"Oh, right!" I spun back toward Caius, hearing a little groan from Edward as my knee brushed against his upper thigh. "The door wouldn't unlock; Edward and I barely made it inside before the car hit the side of the trailer."

"And that was the first time you noticed a problem with the lock?" Caius asked. I nodded quickly, and he ran a hand over his face, exhaling loudly. "Okay, is there anything else? Anything from the rest of your weekend in New London? Creepy people hanging around? The feeling of being watched?"

I blushed and ducked my head for a second, remembering the river. "Um, well . . . I took Edward swimming Saturday after the carnival closed." Edward dropped his forehead to my chin, and I could feel him shaking behind me. I smiled, realizing he was probably laughing. "We were, um, swimming around when I thought I saw someone in the woods." Caius frowned, but Jasper snorted a laugh.

"That was just me," the younger Whitlock said, his gray eyes positively shining as he fought off a grin. "I was following the two of you and apparently got a little too close." He winked at me before crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against a table. "Sorry for scaring you two. I didn't mean to . . . interrupt anything."

Rose, Edward and Jasper all started chuckling quietly. I felt the burn of a blush flare over my cheeks as I giggled and tried to bury my face in Edward's neck. Caius looked furious, but I couldn't care. The entire situation was stressful and scary then, but now, knowing it was Jasper out there watching Edward and I swim almost naked, it was downright comical.

"That's enough, you four." Phil stood, his unhappy expression mirroring Caius'. "We've only got this place for a couple of hours, and we have a lot of information to put together. Em," he said, looking back to where Emmett and Tanya sat. "How about you fill everyone in on what happened Monday night."

I watched Emmett stand and move to the side of the room. He looked worse than before we left for Chicago – his skin grayish, his eyes sunken and dark. I wished I could do something to make him feel better, but my anger at him held me back from offering any more comfort. Plus, if Edward was right and he did have a crush on me, I wouldn't want to encourage that. Especially not when it could upset my love.

"Sometime between closing on Monday and six o'clock Tuesday morning, someone broke into five of our trucks. Two were the rigs owned by Eclipse – the ones we use to store the carousel and the train ride. The three others were storage trailers filled with various game booth structures, prizes and the like."

"Which carnies were affected directly by this?" Chief Cullen asked. He had an intense expression on his face, as if studying Emmett for something. I noticed Phil was also watching Emmett closely, a slight frown on his face.

"Other than my family, Alex Cupla, owner of the Milk Jug Toss, Makenna Shanahan, who owns the Dart Game, and Bella with her Water Race."

"What kind of damage are we talking 'bout?" Demetri pulled a small pad of paper from his pocket and began jotting things down. Carlisle and Esme both sat back in their chairs, their hands clasped together and resting on the table.

"The Milk Jug booth had been disassembled and stored so Alec could leave town first thing Tuesday. It was almost completely destroyed – jugs broken, structure torn apart. He's pulled out of the next few shows since he's going to have to buy an entire setup."

"Was he insured?" Demetri asked, writing furiously.

Emmett shook his head. "Very few carnies are insured for loss. It's too expensive."

Edward leaned toward me, brushing his lips against my ear. "Are you insured?" The feeling of his heated breath sliding over my skin made me shiver as I nodded. He made a soft, grunting sound and kissed my cheek. "That's my brilliant little gypsy."

I rolled my eyes but smiled, even though he couldn't see my face. Tanya noticed and shot me a questioning look. I made an exaggeratedly irritated face and indicated Edward with a jab of my thumb. She just winked and smirked at me.

"And the Dart Game?" Demetri glanced my way, a slight smile tugging on his lips as he saw the face I was making at Tanya.

Emmett looked from the chief to me and back, scowling. "Mostly destroyed. The backdrop of the booth was a complete loss, and the counters were broken in two. Makenna and her husband, Chuck, are missing this weekend's show but have confirmed they will be ready for the carnival in Marion next weekend."

"Water Race?" the chief asked.

"Not irreparable. The damage was mostly cosmetic – damaged tubing, broken faceplates, pipes, clown heads. The pumps and most of the booth itself were unharmed." Emmett stared at Demetri, obviously awaiting more questions. The chief looked thoughtful for a minute, tapping his pen against his forehead, before looking up at Emmett again.

"Is there any reason to believe that either this Makenna or Alec could be responsible for the vandalism?" Demetri glanced around the room as everyone shook their heads.

"No way," Tanya said when no one else answered the chief. "Makenna's a sweet little peach, third generation carnie and deep in the life. Hell, her parents still co-op with Eclipse! She'd never take away one of our own's livelihood like that. And Alec . . . well, we all know Alec's nothing but a big ol' puss-bag, but he'd never sacrifice his own business. He owes too much money to too many people to risk it." Everyone seemed to mumble in agreement.

"Does the vandalism somehow tie into the trouble with Bella's unwanted guests?" Tanya asked after the others had settled down again. Demetri, Caius, Phil and Jasper all looked at me, and I sunk back into Edward a bit at the sudden inspection I seemed to be under.

"We don't rightly know," answered Caius. "They could be tied together, or they could be individual events that coincidentally happened in the same time period to the same person. Personally, I don't believe in coincidences, so I'm acting under the assumption that everything's related somehow." He glanced between Edward and me as he dropped into a chair facing us. "I want to know what happened in Chicago."

Edward's arms tightened around me as I spoke. "We ran into his mother, Elizabeth, at a party." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Esme turn toward me. I refused to meet her eyes, choosing instead to keep my gaze locked with Caius' as I told him the details of our time in Chicago – the party, my confrontation with Elizabeth, the way I was able to harness my power to shock her without affecting Edward, our chase through the crowd, the two men at the car, and the comment about a Masen finding his red thread.

Through everything, Edward kept his arms around me, his fingers stroking my skin. He occasionally added a detail or confirmed what I was saying, but otherwise he stayed silent. It wasn't until I finished speaking that he added something I had missed.

"We had one of those 'episodes' like the one when we walked in here. Remember, chéadsearc? It happened when we were in the music room."

Caius raised his eyebrows and looked between the two of us before turning toward Rose. "I don't remember anything about a loss of control in your report."

Rose shot Edward an angry glare before she looked back at her father and shrugged. "It wasn't as bad as the one here."

"And I saw you," I said, capturing everyone's attention. "First out on Navy Pier, and later at the party; I saw you watching me."

Caius sighed and rubbed the heel of his hand across his forehead, obviously frustrated. Rose blushed almost violently, her face turning a deep red.

"First things first," Caius said after many tense moments. "We need to know who these men with Elizabeth were. Jasper, work with Bella and Edward to go through any known associates, then report the information to Rose." Jasper nodded and winked at me. "Rose, as soon as you have names, I need full disclosure on each man: school, employment, personal histories. Don't leave anything out. I've already sent someone to monitor Elizabeth's movements, so hopefully we'll get a bit of a heads up if she decides to head this way."

"So what does this mean for us?" Tanya looked around the room, her eyes landing on each person individually. "Are we in some kind of danger? Are we safe in camp, or will we continue to have to hold these lovely little get-togethers in fine establishments such as this?" She waved her arms indicating the room around us.

Caius watched her for a moment, then took a deep breath. "For now we assume that camp is not safe." The noise of Tanya, Emmett and Esme all speaking at once made me cringe, but Caius simply whistled sharply to cut everyone off. "Look! I know Eclipse is like your family and the camp is your home, but we need to be cautious. Someone broke into Bella's trailer, and whoever it was seemed to have followed them to Chicago. How did they know she and Edward would be there? Until we can answer that question, we must keep our cards close to our vests. Continue your everyday routines, but be very careful what you say and to whom."

"What about him?" Emmett asked. He pointed at Edward, an angry sneer on his face. "It's his fault of this is happening; why can't we just make him leave? Then things will go back to normal."

Caius glared at the younger man and crossed his arms over his chest. "He's Bella's fíorghrá. Where he goes, she goes."

Emmett snorted. "She's not safe with him. He's a Masen; if she stays with him, she'll end up dead just like his grandmother and great-grandmother."

Caius shook his head slowly. "Bella's situation is very different from theirs."

"Bullshit," Emmett spat. "For the last four generations, the Masen men have died along with their so-called soul mates," he turned to address Edward, "except for your own mommy. I still want to know how she managed to avoid the curse and how your father was able to con his way—"

Edward had placed me in my own chair and was on his feet before Emmett could finish his sentence. For one brief moment, I worried the two men would come to blows, but Jasper and Caius quickly moved to intercept them.

"That's enough!" Caius yelled as he restrained Emmett. "Now, I realize you're an extremely intelligent man, Mr. McCarty, but you don't seem to know shit about fíorghrás, which puts you at a disadvantage."

Emmett pushed back against Caius, escaping his grip, and turned to face the older man. "I researched the Masen family history. I found all the old records – the crimes, the marriages, the reports of the women slowly going insane, and the way they died. I won't let that happen to my Bell."

"She's not _your_ anything," Edward said, his voice quiet but still filled with anger. I moved to wrap my arm around his waist, indicating to Jasper to release him from his protective hold.

"Again, Mr. McCarty," Caius said, shooting a quick glare at Edward before focusing on Emmett. "You're an intelligent man, but you obviously know nothing about fíorghrás."

Emmett's brow furrowed for a moment. "What do you mean?"

"If you knew about true love, really understood the bonds between a pair of soul mates, you'd know that Bella and Edward would never end up like the last four generations of his family."

Emmett snorted and crossed his arms over his chest, looking arrogant and dismissive. "Oh really? And how exactly would I know that?"

Caius stepped right up into Emmett's space, their chests almost touching. The older man showed no sign of fear, no worry about the size difference between the two. He looked strong, calm . . . and extremely lethal.

Muscles flexed, eyes hard, he spoke in a voice composed of razor blades and venom.

"Because there's no way in hell those four couples were fíorghrás. It's impossible."

.

.

.


	24. Anywhere

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

.

"He'll be back." Caius stood beside me, watching the taillights of my truck fade into the distance. I glanced at him, noticing the way his battered arms crossed over his chest, the holes in his t-shirt, the blood dripping from the cut at the corner of his eye.

I shook my head slowly, fighting back tears. Even standing outside, the smell of anger and fear, blood and ozone tickled my senses. My hands trembled and my stomach knotted with every breath.

"He probably needs a little time to process everything," Caius said quietly.

A picture of Edward's face as I followed him outside the bar flashed through my mind – fury and pain darkening his beautiful green eyes. He'd turned on his heel and put his hands up, telling me no, looking at me with undisguised heartache. I continued to pursue him as he limped slowly backwards, but in the end it was his words that stopped both my feet and my heart.

_Don't . . . never knew . . . thought you trusted me . . . have to go . . . don't know if . . . _

I wiped away the wetness pooling in my eyes and sighed. "Probably? He just found out every person he's ever trusted in his entire life has either kept secrets or flat out lied to him – including me. There's no 'probably' about this situation."

To say the conversation about Edward's family didn't go well could be considered the understatement of the decade. Edward, feeling attacked and surprised, had fought back, arguing with Caius and Emmett. His father wouldn't have lied to him, he'd said repeatedly. With each piece of evidence laid before him, each utterance of his mantra, his voice grew quieter and less sure. Emmett took advantage of his uncertainty, claiming the Masen men were philanderers and controlling egomaniacs who tricked their poor, helpless wives into following them into a life of crime and pain, ultimately leading to their deaths.

Emmett's final argument, the proverbial straw on the camel's back, was his certainty that Edward and I couldn't possibly be in love as we claimed, that we were also following the path of the previous generations of Masens. We both disputed this statement, but it only took Emmett two questions to crack the foundation beneath us.

"If he really loves you, why hasn't he told you what his Ulbster shield tattoo is for? Why hasn't he told you about his gift?"

The pounding of the blood racing through my veins following that statement seemed deafening, and the shock I felt at Emmett's accusation made my heart ache and my palms sweat. Edward had a gift? He'd called me the biggest freak amongst the freaks, and yet he had a gift of his own?

"Why didn't you tell me?" I'd asked quietly after several minutes of stunned silence, feeling hurt by his betrayal.

Edward had looked right at me, surprised and slightly hurt, but his voice remained strong when he replied, "I have no gift."

Emmett smiled wickedly and pointed his finger at Edward. "And that is how you know he's a liar. Just like the rest of the Masen men before him. Just like his father."

"I. Have. No. Gift." Edward balled his fists and stepped toward Emmett.

Emmett moved directly in front of him, almost knocking him backwards. "The only thing worse than a liar is a thief, Masen; though if you take after dear old dad, I'm sure you're one of those as well."

Edward cursed once before Emmett's fist collided with his face, knocking him over. The fight between the two proceeded with more brutality than any I'd seen before, and it took Tanya, Phil, Caius and me to finally separate them. My dad had pulled me aside afterward, letting me know quietly that Edward hadn't been lying when he said he had no gift, but the damage of my own doubt had already been done. Edward had rushed out of the bar . . . away from me.

I turned around to walk back inside, the last modicum of red light having disappeared while Caius and I were talking. Glancing at the broken and bloody man I once considered a friend on the sidewalk to my right, I waved my hand dismissively, feeling the sting of what I hoped was only a dislocated finger. But my pain was meaningless. My true love was hurting – physically and emotionally – but instead of being able to find comfort and solace with me, he'd left. And he'd taken my only mode of transportation with him.

"Someone should probably take him to the hospital. Tanya and I can clean up the blood inside." I looked down at my feet, my white sandals almost glowing against the asphalt. Edward had commented on the newness of them before we left the trailer, but I'd just smiled and fastened the buckles around my ankles. "I guess I shouldn't have worn these shoes. He warned me . . ." Despair clutched at my chest, and my shoulders shook as I fought back the sobs threatening to undermine my control.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Emmett said quietly when I attempted to move past him. He held a dirty dishtowel under his nose, the white now stained red, as he sat leaning against front of the bar. Seeing him there, having the gall to speak to me after what he did to my Edward, made my temper flare and an uncomfortably dark energy race along my skin.

"Don't." I stopped, spitting the word and refusing to look at him. "Don't you dare apologize to me. You don't get to ask for my forgiveness, not after what you did."

"I never meant to—"

"Never meant to what?" I yelled as I finally turned to face him. Frustration and pain roared through my body, quickly transforming into rage. "You never meant to completely disregard Edward's privacy for your own selfish desires? You never meant to spy on him? To insult him? To search out information on his family and share it with people who are virtually strangers to him?"

I clenched my hands into fists, hissing at the sting from my damaged finger as he sat there staring at me. The injuries he sustained fighting with Edward were visible even in the low light, and I secretly enjoyed cataloguing each one. Bruises, scratches, cuts, and worse – he deserved them all for what he'd said and done.

I could feel the energy scraping along my skin, smell the ozone around me, but I pulled my gift back with all my strength. If Emmett tried to stand up, dared to face me head-on, I wanted to use my body to punish him, not my gift. Emmett dropped his head onto his bent knee, his other leg stretched out in front of him at an awkward angle. I remembered hearing the loud crack and a cry of pain when Caius had tackled Emmett to the floor to stop him from chasing after Edward, but I hadn't realized what it was until now. He'd need a doctor to reset that bone.

"I only wanted to protect you."

I stepped in front of him and squatted so we could be eye level with each other. He raised his head and met my glare, his right eye so swollen he likely couldn't see out of it.

"I never asked for your protection. I didn't need it, nor did I want it." I kept my voice calm but cold. He would get no sympathy from me. "And what you did – going behind our backs and ferreting out information about Edward's family the way you did – that wasn't protecting me; it was punishing him for taking me away from you."

His eyes turned glassy with unshed tears, but I would not easily be cowed after his betrayal. He'd spied, lied, conspired against us, and finally, in an act of desperation, tried to beat Edward into submission. He hadn't planned on the number of people that would come to Edward's defense, hadn't planned on Tanya and I working together to pull him off the smaller man.

And he definitely hadn't planned on Caius' well-aimed kick, the one that had probably broken his nose, after he refused to give up and let Edward walk away. After he made sure we both knew that I would destroy the life I'd built if I sided with Edward.

"You hurt him," I said, lowering my voice. "He's a good man who loves me, and you pushed him until he had no option but to push back. You swung first; he was defending himself and you know it. And now you want to threaten him – to threaten me – with having to leave Eclipse, leave the only friends I've ever really known?"

I stood as my anger dissolved back into pain. If he followed through on his demand, if he forced Edward to leave the carnival, my life as I knew it was over. No more business, no more traveling, no more family. As I thought about leaving Eclipse, leaving the gypsy life I'd grown to love, a deep, burning ache grew in my chest. It pressed and smothered, swelled and ripped through my body, leaving me hollow on the inside. I realized leaving the carnival would be the most excruciating thing I'd ever done . . .

But letting Edward walk away without me simply wasn't an option.

"I never said you'd have to leave - just him," Emmett whispered, his words slightly slurred. Blood trickled from the corner of his mouth, and I wondered briefly if he'd lost any teeth in the fight. The memory of Edward screaming in pain while pinned under Emmett's larger body bombarded my mind, and any concern I may have felt vanished in an instant.

"He's my fíorghrá, the other half of me. If he goes, I go." My hands shook with restraint as I fought against the instinct to hit him, beat him, harm him the way he had harmed me and Edward. "You still don't get it, even after Caius and Phil tried so hard to explain what this means. You just don't understand, and I doubt if you ever will."

He cursed as I walked away from him with my head held high. This night had gone from bad to all-out hell in a fraction of a second, and now I needed to help pick up the pieces and fix what I could.

Tanya met me just inside the door, her blue eyes sharp and piercing as they watched me. Blood trailed across the side of her neck and the collar of her shirt was ripped, but otherwise she appeared unharmed.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She snorted a bit and rubbed at her shoulder. "The idiot sure does weigh a lot, huh? I thought he was going to pull my arm right out of the socket for a second there."

I gave her a tentative smile, glad she hadn't been hurt worse. She cocked her head a bit and looked me over sadly.

"Puddin', you look like ten pounds of manure in a five pound bag. Why don't I just take you home?"

I shook my head and glanced around the room. Broken chairs, upturned tables, glass, blood – it would take time to put this bar back together, and I didn't want to leave that work to anyone else. I felt a need to stay busy, keep active. I knew if I stopped to think, I'd break into a thousand pieces.

"I'd rather stay and help cleanup."

Tanya stared at me for a few beats, calculating, then nodded her head once. "Okay. How about you and me get this furniture sorted out?"

**xXxXx**

Three hours later, I walked into my darkened trailer alone, having been dropped off by Carlisle. Tanya and Emmett remained in the small local hospital, a torn rotator cuff, a broken nose, three broken ribs and a broken leg between them.

The splint on my finger and my filthy shoes were the only evidence left of the fight from earlier in the evening. I'd thrown away my bloody shirt at the hospital and replaced it with a scrub top. The fabric felt soft and comfortable, but it reeked of antiseptic and pain. The dichotomy of sensations the simple piece of clothing caused was too much, too confusing for my tortured mind, so I ripped the offending shirt over my head and threw it out the front door, refusing to let those scents pollute my home. I then kicked my sandals off as well, almost smiling when I heard them land on the asphalt somewhere out in the camp.

I showered thoroughly, scrubbing my body until my skin turned as red as my eyes. No matter how hard I washed or how much soap I used, the scent of Edward's pain lingered. Bitter, dark – strong enough to taste on the air, yet light enough to take me by surprise when it wafted past. It clung to me, reminding me of my mistakes, of my doubt, mocking my pain in his absence.

Realizing that attempting to rid myself of the smell was an exercise in futility, I exited the shower and walked naked into my bedroom. I felt too tired to care about the water dripping from my hair and body, too wrung out emotionally to fight against the uncomfortable knot in my gut and too exhausted physically to do more than throw on a t-shirt and fall onto my bed, surrendering to the blackness of sleep almost instantly.

The sound of a door slamming shocked me awake, pulling me from a nightmare involving Edward, blood, and the stench of death. I rolled over quickly and stood right as Edward walked into the bedroom. Neither of us spoke; we just stood and stared for a few uncomfortable moments. The energy pulsed between us, confused and agitated, but the scent of rain and wildflowers brought comfort. He came back. He was here, in my trailer . . . _our_ trailer . . . and didn't seem angry anymore.

Finally, after the air grew heavy with strain and indecision, he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the hallway. He pushed me carefully into the bathroom and reached beyond my shoulder to turn on the shower, holding up one finger to ask me to wait. He then stepped out of the room and disappeared toward the living area. After a few seconds, I heard the iHome click on, and the sounds of Sugarland filled the trailer. He walked back into the bathroom a moment later, shutting the door behind him and sliding down to sit on the floor.

Neither of us spoke as I sat gingerly on the closed lid of the toilet and leaned forward over my knees. I knew eventually we would talk, the shower and music hiding our conversation from anyone who happened to be spying on us, but neither of us seemed ready yet. The song playing switched three times before I finally felt courageous enough to address him.

Knowing this was my chance, my one shot to be completely, utterly open and honest, my only shot at redemption, I breathed in a lungful of caramel rain and wove my fingers together.

"I love you, Edward," I whispered, knowing he would hear me over the music and the water.

And then I told him everything – the gravity I felt between his mother and the larger man standing with her outside Wrigley Field, how I questioned Esme about the possibility of a second fíorghrá and her confirmation that it was impossible, what happened in the trailer with Rose and how my uncle and father made me promise to keep quiet.

I told him everything I'd held back from him over the past two days. In my confession, I found peace and a sense of rightness. Calming vibrations of energy stroked along my skin, and the steam from the water running intensified the caramel smell hovering in the air, making my mouth water.

When I finished, I pulled my knees up to my chest and waited for Edward to respond. It took much longer than I would have expected, leaving me languishing in an uncomfortable silence for far too long. Finally, after several tense minutes, he ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.

"I've been driving around for hours, thinking about everything that happened tonight. I honestly thought about running, just driving your truck all the way back to Chicago." He looked up, his eyes locking with mine. "But the thought of leaving you behind nearly killed me, so I came back to talk to you. Maybe you won't believe me, but I have to tell you . . have to make sure you hear the truth from me."

"I want—" I began, but he held up his hand, palm facing me, stopping me. I waited for him to continue, realizing he needed to unburden himself just as much as I had. Finally, he dropped his hand and took a deep breath.

"I don't know what Emmett was talking about when he said I have a gift. I've had this tattoo since I was fourteen, and the only thing my dad ever said about it was that it was a family tradition and he believed it was for my protection. I wasn't lying when I told you about it that night in the river, and I wasn't holding anything back. I have no gift, I have no special power, and I have nothing to hide." His voice sounded strong and confident, but I could see the unease in his eyes.

I could also see his truth.

"I know," I murmured. "I never should have doubted you." He sat there, silently watching me. I stared back, hoping he could see my truth, my remorse. He stood up suddenly and paced as much as he could in the tiny space, forcing me to sit back against the tank behind me to remain out of his way.

"I was wrong when I said we sucked at this communication thing – we're absolutely horrible at it." He paused by the sink, staring into the mirror. "We're not doing this again. No more secrets and definitely no more lies. There's some kind of trouble around us, and the only way we're going to be able to keep ahead of it is to stick together. I have to be able to trust you, and you need to trust me, too."

He turned quickly and knelt down in front of me, his eyes large and imploring. "Can you do that, Bella? Can you put enough trust in me to stop holding back? Can you love me enough to tell me anything, even if you think it might hurt me at first?"

Tears fell from my eyes as he spoke, the emotion behind his words burning me alive from the inside out. I could feel his resolve; smell the powdery, fragile perfume of his trust radiating from his skin. And in that moment I knew, undeniably, that I didn't deserve him. After everything that happened tonight, all he wanted was for me to trust him, to have faith in him. I couldn't believe I'd denied him that.

Staring into his eyes, I leaned forward and placed my forehead against his. "I love you, Edward Masen, and I trust you with my life. I'm sorry my actions over the last couple of days made you doubt that. And I'm sorry I believed Emmett's accusations, even for a second."

He inhaled deeply and released it, his sweet breath fanning across my face. "No doubts, chéadsearc. We can't be together if we have doubts."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me, brushing my lips across his twice. "No doubts. Never again."

His mouth pressed against mine sweetly, his tongue sliding past my lips as his arms encircled my waist. I stood slowly, dragging him up with me. I walked forward carefully, pausing to turn off the shower and then pushing him backward into the hallway.

"Anywhere but in the bathroom, a stór," I murmured between kisses. He chuckled and dragged his tongue along my neck, biting gently when he reached my collarbone.

"Anywhere?" His voice was deep, dark with desire, triggering sparks to explode all over my skin. I moaned quietly, loving the sensations of his touch. "I'll take that as a yes."

He pulled me forward swiftly, spinning me partly around and lifting me onto the dinette table. I spread my legs so he could rest his hips between them, and he pulled me into his body by my hips. We both groaned when his cock pressed against me; hard and strong against soft and sensitive. His hands slid under my shirt to squeeze the flesh of my ass, and he stopped suddenly, pulling his head back to gape at me.

"You're not wearing panties."

I smiled and shook my head slowly as his hands roamed over my bare flesh. He pulled me again, rolling my hips against him while his mouth returned to my neck, licking, sucking, biting. The scent of cashmere caressed my senses, and the honeyed flavor of lust coated my tongue.

I reached between us, fumbling with his belt. His hands moved over mine, releasing the leather from around his waist and pulling apart the button and zipper. Using my feet, I dragged his pants and boxers down over his hips, baring him from the waist. He pressed himself against me again, grunting when he felt my warmth, my wetness.

His hands pushed against my shoulders, forcing me back to lie on the table. I watched as he stroked down my arms, tickling the sides of my breasts before gripping my hips and sliding my ass to the end of the table.

"I love you, chéadsearc." His voice was a whisper, barely more than a breath, but I heard him clearly as the music in the background changed. The words of my favorite song danced in the air as he slid into me, my head thrown back, the sparks of light I always saw when we were together like this exploding behind my eyes.

_Fall into me . . ._

I wrapped one leg around his hip and lifted the other to rest my foot against his shoulder. He closed his eyes and slid deeper, sighing as he grabbed my calf and licked along the bone on the inside of my ankle. The sultry pulsing of the energy between us pressed against my entire body, every inch of skin, every fiber of muscle. His scent, tempered by the honey and cashmere swirling around us, only increased as he moved faster, thrust harder.

'_Cuz I already see that it's hard, and you're scared . . ._

I used the leg wrapped around his hip to hold him to me, to keep my body from sliding backwards as the push and pull of our coupling made my body tremble. I placed my hands behind my head, bracing myself, needing more . . . closer . . . deeper. Every sensation, every feeling, was overwhelming - the sweet scents of us together, the press of his skin against mine, the warmth of his gaze as he stared into my eyes, the clenching of my muscles as my orgasm washed over me, the sounds of his own pleasure cresting right after mine.

_And I want to be the one you reach for first . . ._

**xXxXx**

A loud knocking yanked me from sleep, making me jump against the warm body wrapped around mine. The light glowed pink and orange across the room, and the sounds from outside the trailer indicated it was still early morning. I rolled out of Edward's arms and threw on a robe as I hurried to the door, thankful the noise hadn't woken him. We'd made love until close to four in the morning, taking full advantage of my declaration of anywhere but the bathroom.

I opened the door to the trailer and stepped outside. Jack Newton stood at the bottom of my steps; his bright pink sport coat and flowered shirt making me squint more than the sunrise behind him.

"Good morning, Jack."

"Bella." He glanced behind me. "Is Mr. Masen here?"

"He's sleeping right now," I said, not missing the uncomfortable grimace that flashed across the old man's face. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Jack pursed his lips for a second, then handed me an envelope. "This is a letter from my lawyers asking him to voluntarily stop traveling with Eclipse Entertainment. Since he has no business contracted with us directly, I would expect him to be out of camp before the end of the day."

I stood staring at him, my mouth open and my hands shaking. "You can't be serious?"

Jack glared at me. "Of course I'm serious, little girl. That man," he pointed behind me, jabbing his finger menacingly, "well, he's a menace. He's brought trouble to our carnival, and I just can't allow it. Plus he's dangerous. Emmett told me all about the fight last night and the damage Edward caused. I won't allow that sort of behavior at my show!"

"You won't allow that sort of behavior?" I asked, still stunned that Jack had kicked Edward out of the carnival, essentially kicking me out as well.

"That's right. We have enough trouble dealing with the local authorities without inviting criminals into our midst."

I glared back at him, my anger alive and burning over my skin. "Edward is not a criminal."

Jack didn't respond, just stared at me for a moment before saying, "I want him gone by the end of the day. Period."

He took a step back, crossing his arms over his chest. I tossed my hair over my shoulder and threw the envelope back to him. He glanced at it as is landed at his feet.

"Fine. We'll be gone before the end of the day."

His jaw dropped for just a moment and his eyes widened. "You can't leave! You have a contract to co-op with Eclipse."

I stepped down off the bottom step and walked up to him. "You know he's my fíorghrá; you know that means we can't be apart. If you are seriously standing here telling me he has to leave, then I'm going with him." I turned to walk back toward my trailer.

"Emmett told me all about him and his family. He's a danger to you." Jack's voice stopped me, my heart pounding and my hands curling into fists. "I know this won't be easy, but we love you, Bella - you're family to us. We'll help you get over him."

I heard a small noise from inside the trailer and glanced up, my eyes meeting Edward's. He stood just inside the doorway, listening to Jack. He smiled sadly at me and crossed his arms as he leaned against the doorframe, his casual pose belying the tense energy radiating from his body. His hair stood on end all around his head, and his skin seemed paler than normal in the harsh morning light.

He was utterly beautiful and completely mine.

"If you loved me," I stared at the man in front of me but directed my words to the one behind me, "you wouldn't ask me to choose between my heart and my soul. You wouldn't ask me to tear myself in two over the lies told by a jealous fool in love with someone who didn't love him back." I glanced over my shoulder, wanting nothing more than to go back to bed and curl up in Edward's arms again.

"It was really nice working with you, Jack. I'll always treasure my carnie past, but that man right there," I pointed to Edward as he stepped out onto the metal stairs. "That man is my future."

Jack's face fell, and he dropped his arms as I turned away from him. I walked up the stairs slowly, keeping my eyes on Edward's the entire time, seeing my own sorrow reflected back at me. When I finally reached the top step, I lifted up onto the balls of my feet and pulled him down so I could whisper in his ear.

"No doubts, a stór."

He smiled down at me and kissed the tip of my nose softly. "No doubts."

.

.

.


	25. Monster

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

_._

The wind whipped by, filled with the familiar scents of fall – the deep, earthy smell of fallen leaves, residual smokiness from the fires burned to warm the various cabins along the lake, a sharp, clean aroma as the air cooled over the mountain. I ran uphill, enjoying the feel of my muscles straining against gravity, the sounds of Jasper's footfalls following mine. The rising sun had yet to burn off the morning fog, leaving me feeling damp and chilly, and the air bit harshly when it met my cheeks, but that didn't matter.

Leaving the carnival and returning to Tennessee with Edward had made me happier than I ever thought possible.

I glanced west as I reached a small plateau and saw the roofline of my cabin. Smoke curled from the chimney, and the sun peeking over Thunderhead Mountain lit the windows in fiery shades of orange and yellow. It looked inviting, warm and cozy. I pushed my legs harder, ran faster, hoping to make it back before Edward woke. The draw of joining him in bed - his warm skin against mine, his arms wrapped around me, his breath on my neck - gave me the additional drive I needed to push my body past its comfort level. The muscles in my thighs burned and my calves ached, but I wouldn't slow; I couldn't stop.

As much as I loved my morning runs with Jasper, my heart remained in that little cabin with the man I'd left sleeping.

"Let's take the shore trail back," Jasper said loudly, straining to keep his breath. I'd set a brutal pace for him as he wasn't yet used to the strain of running hills, but I kept it up. I nodded once and turned westward, down the hill toward the well-worn trail around the edge of the lake, knowing it would get me home faster – to my bed, to my Edward, to where I wanted to be.

Almost two months had passed since Jack came to my door, 'requesting' Edward leave Eclipse. The day had been a nightmare – consoling my mom and Esme when we told them we were leaving, convincing Phil and Caius not to start trouble with the Newton family, working with them all to come up with a game plan for the rest of the season, telling the people I considered my extended family goodbye.

There was no way for us to stay, and no way for them to come with us. We all had contracts with Eclipse, even me, and to leave would mean loss of income and possible litigation. I couldn't ask any of them to risk their livelihood and their reputation in our industry, so I convinced them to stay and finish the season.

Through it all, Edward held my hand, whispering words of love and support in my ear. He never let me break, never allowed me to fall into the pit of loss that suddenly appeared in front of us. He reminded me we were all family; this wasn't goodbye, it was only 'see you soon'. I didn't let him apologize though - none of my family did. We all understood this wasn't his fault.

I slowed to a walk when I reached the final curve before my property, giving my heart a chance to slow and my lungs the time needed to smooth-out my breathing. Jasper walked next to me, pulling his shirt over his head and wiping the sweat from his chest. I noticed his tattoos as always, admiring the colorful artwork decorating his body.

"Don't let Alice see you checking me out," he said, smirking. "She might be little, but she packs a mighty wallop."

"Please." I purposefully lengthened the word as I rolled my eyes. "Like she has anything to worry about. You two are more than soul mates; you're like two halves of the same heart. The whole damn cabin smells like flowers and honey, even when you're not there! It's kind of ridiculous."

He grinned and flicked his shirt at me. "You have no right to complain. I've never been around another couple with so much emotion for each other. It would be sweet and all if I didn't also have to feel the lust between you two." We stepped up onto the deck, and he grabbed two bottles of water from the table and threw one to me.

"Because of course you and Alice never give into any sort of lustful feelings. I'm sure you two are locked up in that room all the time so you can sit and stare longingly at each other." We both laughed as I opened the door leading into the kitchen, pressing the numbers to disarm the new alarm system Caius installed two days after Edward and I drove out of camp.

Jasper snorted. "That's exactly what we do, Bella."

"What do we do?" Alice sat at the table, both hands wrapped around a mug of coffee. The diamond engagement ring she received only a few days ago glittered on her finger, practically glowing against the dark brown ceramic. She smiled brightly at Jasper and tilted her head up to receive a small kiss when he reached her.

"Anything we want," he responded with a wicked grin, trailing a finger down her neck to her shoulder.

Alice shivered, then glanced at me and smirked. "Were you talking about naughty things with my fiancé?"

I chuckled and nodded as I headed for the stairs. "Yes, I was. And now I'm going to _hopefully_ do more than just talk of naughty things with my Edward."

"Don't forget," Jasper called from behind me. "Alice and I are leaving for Georgia early this afternoon, but Rose should be here this morning."

I turned slowly, my eyes meeting the hazel ones of my best friend. She looked sad and slightly uneasy. I knew the thought of our cancelled girls' weekend in Dallas weighed heavily on her mind as it did on mine, but neither of us could think of a way to convince the overprotective men in our lives to allow us our normal birthday celebration.

"No worries, my little garden gnome. You and I will celebrate together next weekend." I walked over and hugged her as Jasper stepped away. "Go home and enjoy the carnival. Tell everyone how much I miss them but that I'm happy here . . . we're happy here."

She nodded slowly against my shoulder. "I'm totally kicking Emmett's ass if I see him."

I laughed and squeezed her tighter, the stale and sour scent of melancholy brushing the edges of my senses. Alice talked about all of us going back 'home' someday, back to Eclipse and the gypsy life we loved, but deep down I doubted this would ever happen. If the Newton family couldn't accept Edward, then I would have to find another carnie group that would.

I took a deep breath, citrus and spice as familiar as ever. "I'm so sorry for—"

She slapped my shoulder sharply. "Stop that right now, missy." She pulled back and stared at me for a moment, determination on her face. "You have nothing to apologize for. Leaving the carnival and following you here was my decision, and I will deal with any consequences that come because of it."

I nodded slowly, still not quite believing her. When Edward and I left Eclipse, we immediately headed to my cabin in Tennessee. Caius followed as he didn't want us left alone and unprotected. Jasper joined him once the carnival in Ashland closed, but someone had to run their Kamikaze ride for the rest of the contracted season.

For now, Jasper and Alice lived in Tennessee with us while Esme, Rose, and Caius ran the fortune teller's tent and the ride. My mom and Phil ran our two game booths with a little help from Carlisle, so Jack couldn't sue me for breach of contract. I knew Alice and Edward had discussed what to do – neither wanted to live off of the money my game was earning, but working right now simply wasn't an option. We were all still on guard, still watching for danger, still worried about being followed by shadows - even though there hadn't been a single sign of an unwanted guest on our property since we moved in.

Jasper coughed, pulling me from my thoughts. Alice's eyes remained locked with mine, her expression dark and knowing. I shrugged and released her before backing across the room.

"Safe travels," I said quietly when I reached the stairs.

Alice tilted her head to the side and smiled softly at me. "We're happy here too, you know."

**xXxXx**

I stepped out of the shower ten minutes later and toweled off. The steam trapped in the small space amplified the smells around me – soap, love, mint, fear, water, regret. The energy felt slightly agitated, not pulsing yet not smooth either. It made me nervous and wary, almost uncomfortable in my own skin. After pulling on clean panties, I froze, fully immersing myself in my gift, pulling every bit of electricity in the air toward me.

Something about the day just felt off.

I hurried into the bedroom and over to the bed. I suddenly needed to see Edward, to feel him next to me. I needed to know for sure he was there in our bed. I crawled across the mattress quietly, my eyes locked on the lump buried beneath my old quilt. I could smell him – warm, rainy, sweet. His scent calmed my nerves as it always did, reminding me of love, light, and happiness.

I slid under the quilt and wrapped my body against his - skin to skin, only my lacy panties blocking my access to every inch of him. He mumbled in his sleep for a second, then turned slowly into my embrace. His arms slid around my waist, his legs tangling with mine as the love I felt for him soothed my ragged nerves.

"Morning, chéardsearc." His voice, rough and deep from sleep, made me smile against his forehead.

"Morning, my love. Did you sleep well?"

He yawned, his breath warm against my chest. "I always sleep well with you next to me."

A tiny pin-prick of fear pierced my heart at his words, and I pulled Edward's body closer to mine, almost climbing on top of him in my quest to stay connected.

"I love you so much, a stór."

If Edward heard the fear in my words, the panic that seemed to be slowly trickling into my gut, he didn't acknowledge it. He simply squeezed me tighter, held me stronger, and kissed his way across my collarbone.

**xXxXx**

"I swear, one of these days sparks are gonna fly out of your ass." Rose sat down next to me and accepted the bottle of water Edward handed her.

"I really hope not." I took a deep pull from my own bottle and leaned back against Edward's chest, watching as a small sailboat glided across the lake. I relished these quiet moments with him. Even with other people near, we would wrap ourselves around each other and just be still, finding serenity in the other's touch.

Edward ran his hands down my arms, kneading my sore muscles with his fingers. He spent many minutes on my hands, knowing my fingers would be numb, hoping to ease the pain once the nerves began firing once again.

Rose and I had spent the last hour practicing her control and improving my utilization of her gift. It was something Caius wanted us to do, though at first neither of us understood why. Now, after two months of working together, we were beginning to see what made him force our partnership.

Alone, Rose could manipulate emotions while I reacted to the sensations she brought forth. Together, working in synch, our gifts fed off each other, pushing the energies to a frenzied level, taking my ability to shock people from merely uncomfortable to extraordinarily dangerous. Unfortunately, this ability took its toll on my body, and every time I ended up exhausted and fighting through pain the likes of which I'd never experienced before.

I inhaled sharply as my fingertips began to burn. I never could get used to the bubbling sensation – as if my blood was literally boiling inside my body. Edward pulled me closer and continued to rub my hands, wanting to alleviate the pain. I never told him how useless his actions were, never wanted him to know that nothing he could do would take away the flames shooting up my arms from my fingertips to my shoulders.

"Are you okay?" Rose asked, watching as Edwards fingers worked tirelessly with mine.

"I'll be fine." I bit my lip, holding in a scream as the flames roared hotter. For several minutes, my body blazed, my very bones burning, before finally fizzling out. I felt one brief moment of pain-free calm before the exhaustion set in, pulling me down as I fought against the darkness. I snuggled deeper into Edward's chest, my nose under his jaw, and breathed in his calming scent. I knew I couldn't do this without him, couldn't push myself so far if he wasn't there to help me regain my strength afterwards.

"We should head inside," Edward said quietly, his breath warm against my ear. I shook my head slowly, enjoying the sun and the breeze off the lake too much to move.

"Why is it so hard on her?" Edward's voice pulled me gently from the swirling dark of my tired thoughts.

"She's using two gifts at once when we do this," Rose responded. "It's more than one person can handle for any length of time, and with the power of mine . . ." She trailed off, the only sounds coming from the wind dancing through the treetops for what felt like hours. When her voice broke through the fog in my head once more, I struggled to open my eyes.

"My mom always told me my gift was extra-special because it was so much stronger than Jasper's or hers," Rose said quietly, still staring out across the lake. "The older I got, the more I realized what a crock that was. My gift isn't extra-special, it's extra-tortuous. I don't just feel what people are going through, I drown in it. It . . . overwhelms me."

She leaned back on her palms, closing her eyes against the midday sun. "I remember in high school, this younger boy was being picked on by some of the jocks. Every day he came to school terrified, and every afternoon he left feeling nothing but anger and sadness. For almost an entire year, I rode the emotional roller coaster with him. His emotions made me physically ill – I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, could barely function. Jasper tried to help him just to get me some relief, but it didn't work. In the end, my mom had to pull me out of school."

I watched the light dance across the water and the treetops sway in the breeze. I knew the unusually heavy calm blanketing me was my own emotional exhaustion from the work I'd done with Rose, but I welcomed the numbness eagerly. I could understand Rose so much better now – her anger, her pain, her lack of control. The voraciousness of the emotions assaulting her constantly left her with an inability to feel anything of her own. The only time she could relax and really _feel_ was when she worked with me. For the next few hours, anything she felt, any emotion she sensed would be hers alone.

Working together, our gifts could give Rose a sense of normalcy, something she'd desperately missed.

"Whatever happened to him?" I asked after several quiet moments. Rose turned her head toward me and frowned.

"Happened to whom?"

"The boy – the one who was being bullied." I yawned deeply, feeling the vibrations of Edward chuckling below me. I felt incredibly sleepy all of a sudden.

Rose laid down on the deck, her arm brushing against my hip. "He died in a car accident his junior year."

"That's awfully sad," I murmured, my words slurring under the weight of my exhaustion. I heard a small hum of approval from Rose before surrendering to the pull of sleep.

I awoke a short while later to the feel of Edward's hand running up and down my back.

"Are you finally awake, chéardsearc?"

"Hmmm." I stretched and pulled myself from the cocoon of his hold. Edward was used to these short naps I had to take after working with Rose, which is why he always joined our practice sessions.

My mind finally caught up with my body, waking up and taking note of our location. "Why are we still out here?"

He snorted a small laugh. "Because there's no way I could have carried you into the house. Besides, I like sitting in the sun with you."

I sat up straight and stretched again. "Where'd Rose go?"

Edward stood slowly, offering me a hand up in the process. I knew he had to be stiff from sitting on the hard deck for so long, but he didn't complain. He never would.

"She went inside to make some phone calls. We were thinking of heading into town for dinner tonight." He walked us slowly into the house, smiling. Living in Tennessee agreed with Edward – he enjoyed the slow pace of life at the foot of the mountains, and I enjoyed seeing him so comfortable.

"Sounds good to me. Do I have time for a shower? I feel sort of dirty." His hands gripped my hips and tugged me back into his body. Understanding and want flashed through me, and I ground my ass against his growing erection as I giggled.

"I'm pretty sure _we_ have time to take a shower together, if you're up for it." He kissed my neck slowly, his lips and tongue leaving a trail of liquid fire along my skin.

I hummed my approval. "I'm always up for it, a stór."

**xXxXx**

We arrived home from a night out in the nearest tourist town well past midnight. Laughing and talking nonsense, the three of us stumbled into the cabin. The evening had been exactly what we needed – time together filled with good food and lighthearted conversation. I felt completely relaxed, able to forget all the troubles plaguing us for just a few hours.

Edward and I crawled into bed naked, our bodies coming together in a messy tangle of legs and tongue, teeth and hands. It was hurried and almost desperate, the way our hips rolled into each other, pushing and pulling while we struggled to get closer, move faster. Honey and wildflowers, cashmere and rain – the scents surrounded me, smothered me, leaving me gasping, gripping, craving, writhing - until every inch of my body pulsed with my release, and I clung to Edward as he found his own.

I fell asleep wrapped in Edward's arms, our sweat-covered skin sticking slightly whenever either of us shifted. His warmth lulled me into a feeling of peace, of complete security, so when I awoke before the dawn alone in a cold bed, I didn't immediately worry.

It wasn't until I inhaled that panic flooded my body.

There was no smell in the air, no lingering caramel and rain, no scent of earth and leaves, of sex and love. The room smelled like nothing . . . like a void.

I jumped out of bed and threw a t-shirt over my head, not bothering with any other clothes before racing out the door and down the stairs.

"Edward!" I yelled, my voice breaking, as I slipped on the hardwood floor. I couldn't feel him, couldn't sense him, couldn't smell him. I always knew when he was near, always felt the pull to be close to him when he was in the house. Something was very, very wrong.

"Edward!"

"It's too late, Bella."

I froze, hoping I was wrong; praying the voice behind me wasn't the one I knew so well. I took a deep breath, then turned slowly to face Emmett. He sat in a chair facing the fireplace, his head in his hands. A sense of dread settled over me. Edward was missing, Emmett was in my living room, and it was only Rose and me here.

A movement up and to my right caught my attention, and I looked up to find Rose at the top of the stairs. Glancing quickly between the two of them, I motioned subtly for her to stay hidden and felt relieved when she backed into my bedroom doorway. I didn't want him to see her up there; I knew surprise would be our best weapon against someone the size of Emmett.

Steeling myself against the panic threatening to devour me, I asked, "What do you mean too late? Where is he?"

He didn't answer, not directly at least. He started mumbling and shaking his head, growing louder until I could finally understand his words. "I couldn't leave him with them. I thought if I could separate you two, this would be easier, but you just wouldn't let him go." He tugged violently on his hair, then sat back and glared at me. Even lit only by the pale glow from the nightlight in the kitchen I could tell he looked aged, tired.

"I don't understand." I inched closer, my body preparing automatically for a fight. The scent of adrenaline – so pungent, so full of heat – followed me, giving me strength. The energy blazed and burned across my skin, and I knew Rose was using her gift to increase it. My fingertips hummed with irritation, vibrating and clenching of their own volition. If I touched something, if I touched Emmett, I knew I'd cause serious damage.

And I was ready to do so.

Emmett laughed humorlessly as I continued inching forward. "Of course you don't understand – too busy in your own little world to realize what was happening. But I knew . . . I saw it all! I saw them following him, I knew he had to go to keep the rest of us safe, but he wouldn't fucking leave!" He stood quickly and stepped toward me. I rocked onto my heels and bent my knees slightly, one foot a bit behind the other. "They only wanted him, but you couldn't leave him alone, couldn't let him leave, so they took Mikey instead." Emmett reached for me, the lack of his usual scent of mist and mischief almost as disturbing as his words. "I had to do this - can't you see?"

I lurched back out of his reach, then took a deep breath and pulled the energy in the room toward me. It sizzled against my skin, impatient and ready to be released. My blood boiled under my skin, and every hair on my body lifted. The amount of electricity, the power behind it all, scared me, but I knew I had to keep pulling it, building my reserves. Edward was in danger, and I would do anything to help him, even if it meant hurting someone I once considered family.

"What did you do, Emmett?" I asked softly, afraid of what he'd say. His face hardened, and he leaned down to be eye-level with me, spitting in my face with each word.

"I offered them a trade – your Edward for Mikey."

My heart seized as the realization of what he'd done washed over me. I felt the burn of the energy as it flooded my body, overwhelming me, drowning what little restraint I had left.

"Where is he?" My voice sounded low and threatening even to my own ears, but if Emmett heard the warning, he didn't acknowledge it.

"Gone . . . over an hour ago. Hence the 'it's too late' comment."

I planted both my feet in a fighter's stance, solidifying my balance and lowering my center-of gravity in preparation of my first strike. I could sense Rose working to increase the rage around me, and I silently thanked Caius for all of our training over the past two months. I'd take Emmett down, then I'd find Edward. I had to.

"Where did they take him?"

Emmett shook his head and looked out the front window. "I didn't ask. I'm supposed to wait here and keep you out of the way, then they'll bring me Mikey." He dropped his gaze to the floor, shook his head, and took a deep, pained breath. "I had to do it, Bella. They told me all about the Masen family, how dangerous the men were, and I had to do something. They're all nothing but criminals! And when they took my brother . . ."

He sobbed almost silently. My chest ached from the thought of Mikey in trouble, but that didn't give him the right to take my Edward. That didn't mean he could just—

"They won't kill him, Bella. They said they need his gift too much. I made them promise not to kill him, even though the fucker deserv—"

My temper exploded. Without thought, I stepped forward and grabbed Emmett's arm. His entire body arced away from me, and he released a strangled, gurgling sound as he fell to his knees. I held fast, feeling intense heat as the energy rushed through me into him. I caught a tiny whiff of ozone when he began to convulse, and I knew the power was too strong, the energy too much for Emmett's body to handle, but I couldn't let go. He did this . . . he caused all of this. If it wasn't for him, Edward and I would be in Georgia with our families, curled up in the Jayco and looking forward to the next show. He ruined everything.

"Bella! Stop!" Rose's voice pulled my attention away from the swirling energy around me. I looked at her and noticed her wide, terror-filled eyes staring back at me. Something snapped then, something inside that remembered how Emmett taught me to fight to keep me safe, how he took me swimming whenever I got cranky from the heat, how he took me to see every Harry Potter movie on opening night so I wouldn't have to go alone, how we hugged and laughed and joked and cried together. He'd once been my friend, practically my family, and I was causing him pain.

I released Emmett's arm and fell backward. He curled forward, smoke rising from his hair, his breathing shallow. In that moment, I knew what I'd done was wrong. I'd taken things too far. I'd felt like a lot of different things in my life – a girl, a gypsy, a woman, a seductress, a fighter, a freak – but that was the first time I'd ever felt like a monster.

"We have to go, Bella. We have to catch up with him." Rose pulled on my arms, dragging me out the front door and onto the porch. My mind felt cloudy, weighted down by the exhaustion of controlling two gifts, and my arms buzzed with a weird almost-numbness, but I fought it. I had to do something to help Edward . . . I had to find him.

"I can't feel anything. Not from you, not from Emmett. It's like—" Rose stopped suddenly. A woman stood in the driveway, her hands clasped before her, her long skirt blowing softly in the breeze.

"Don't bother trying to find him; they left quite a while ago." She spoke smoothly, a lilt in her words from what sounded like an Italian accent. "I come to deliver a message to Emmett."

"He's a little indisposed right now," Rose said, grabbing my forearm to steady me as I weaved a bit. My fingers burned, and I could feel the blisters forming on the palms of my hands. The pain grew slowly, relentlessly, and it took every ounce of strength I had to stay awake and focus on the conversation.

The stranger tilted her head. "Pity. I had hoped to see his face when he learned of his failure, but I guess that little treat isn't mine to have." She turned and slowly walked away from us. I heard a strange clicking sound, like metal on metal, and I remembered the night someone broke into my trailer. Lack of smells, void, clicking – it was her. She'd tracked us all through Alabama and then followed us to Chicago. I just didn't know why.

I tried to follow her, but my legs collapsed the second I pulled out of Rose's hold, rocks biting into my knees. "Why have you been following us?" I yelled. The fire burning in my arms grew hotter, more violent, and I sobbed quietly as my bones began to burn.

She paused for just a moment, looking over her shoulder and smiling evilly.

"Because I do what I'm told."

Rose pulled on my arm, trying to lift me, but my body slumped forward instead, exhaustion and agony quickly turning me into a boneless mass.

"Where's my Edward?" I asked, slurring my words slightly. Desperation clung to me, weighing me down, blocking all the hope from my heart. I felt like the world was ending, like the darkness would never end. I felt dead inside.

"He's where he belongs. Now be a good little gypsy and tell Emmett that Mr. E said he missed the deadline."

"What deadline?" Rose asked. I fell forward, my forehead resting on the stony ground. I was so tired, but I forced myself to stay awake for Edward, for the possibility of learning where he was and who took him.

The stranger turned and started walking away again, saying, "The deadline for the switch, of course - the silly blond boy for the Masen."

"Mikey," I whispered, hoping like hell Rose could hear me. "They had Mikey."

"What's going to happen to Mikey?" Rose asked loudly, her voice carrying across the night.

The stranger giggled. "It's far too late for poor little Mikey. Pity, I would have liked to absorb his fear when he realized he was about to die. It's such an addictive sensation."

I screamed once – sharp, short – as my body finally surrendered to the pain. Every inch of my body blazed, every nerve ending screaming. Rose jumped up, her racing footsteps the last thing I heard before consciousness finally left me behind. The last thought, the last twinkle in the sky of my mind, was that they'd killed Mikey . . . and now they had my Edward.

.

.

.


	26. Promises

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

_._

Heavy and uncomfortable, something far stronger than simple gravity pressed on my body. I halfheartedly struggled against the smothering sensation for a moment before surrendering in confusion. Nothing felt clear in my head; everything seemed fuzzy, dark and indistinct.

Something soft but firm tugged on my heart – strong enough to make it through the fog. It surprised me and forced my mind to fight for clarity. The vaguely familiar connection prodded me, making me want to get up and move, but my limbs refused to cooperate.

The sudden intrusion of gravel crunching under tires and the thud of a door startled me, pulling me further from the blur. The weight faded away, leaving me exhausted and aching but free to move. I slowly reached behind me, fighting against the strain of my muscles, wanting to curl up into the strong arms and warmth I'd grown accustomed to.

Searching blindly, I breathed in and immediately froze. The scents were all wrong – no caramel and rain, no hope and love. They'd been replaced by starch and stale coffee, wariness and an oddly disconnected scent I associated with apathy.

I blinked and placed my hands on the asphalt, pushing myself off the ground. My mind and body rose simultaneously, memories and muscles awakening together. I felt lonely but knew I was not alone, terrified but not for me. My hands shook as I remembered where I was . . . and why.

_Edward_

Dark hair, dark eyes, and a gold star on a blue uniform escorted me into my house and made me sit on the couch. The cop towered over me, irritated but watchful. After fifteen minutes of useless and inane questions, I couldn't tell if the stale smell of boredom on the air was from him or from me.

"How old are you?"

"Older than when you asked me the first time but still just twenty-one."

"And you're the owner of this house?"

"Correct."

"You said there were a couple of people staying with you."

"Yes. Once again, my boyfriend, Edward, and my friend, Rosalie, were here with me."

"But they're not here now?"

"Obviously."

A pause, then the words I knew would come eventually. I was actually surprised he'd waited this long.

"What exactly do you do for a living, Miss Swan?"

I crossed my arms over my chest to fight the feeling of vulnerability threatening to weaken my voice and give away my fear. The words, when they finally came, were softer than I wanted, almost filled with doubt. And for the first time in my life, they made me feel something akin to shame.

"I own a carnival game."

He looked around the room, frowning. "But you're not working right now?"

"No, sir." I shook my head and fought back tears. I refused to cry in front of this arrogant, narrow-minded man. "I'm not working right now. Edward—" I gasped as the pain in my chest blazed hotter, reminding me that my fíorghrá wasn't near, making me feel every single mile of our separation like individual explosions in my heart. "We . . . we were taking a little break from the traveling."

"Hmmm." The officer looked around my living room again. I knew what he was thinking, knew he'd already made up his mind about Edward's disappearance. It didn't matter that I owned this home or that I'd been a part of this community for a couple of years already, didn't matter that I worked hard and paid taxes like everyone else. All he saw, all he cared about, was the one aspect of my life I knew wouldn't leave his thoughts.

"Your truck is parked outside," the officer said, staring at me while I glared at a spot on his chest.

"He has his own car – an old Mustang."

He sighed. "There's no sign of a struggle and no evidence to say your friend didn't just walk out the door of his own will."

I shook my head, once again denying what he saw as truth. "Edward wouldn't have left. You don't know him . . . don't know us. Emmett said someone took him, and Rosalie saw—"

"Ma'am," he interrupted. "Now, I know you claim these other people were involved or witnessed these events, but they're not here to confirm your story. All I know for sure is you were lying out on your driveway when I drove past. If you'd like to explain to me why you were asleep on the asphalt in the middle of the night, I'd be happy to listen." I didn't answer, just shifted my glare to the gold star on his shirt pocket.

After several tense moments, he turned away from me and took a deep breath. "Damn drugged-up carnies." The words left him in a whisper but slammed into me like a wrecking ball. He probably didn't even realize he'd said them out loud. But he had – I heard them clearly.

And I understood immediately that he wasn't even going to pretend to help me find Edward.

The smell of ozone circled me, daring me to touch him, craving an outlet for the pain and fear and anger coursing through my body. I couldn't, though. I needed to control myself until he left, then I could rage and rant and let my temper free. I could look for Rosalie and Emmett, search for any sign of Edward. I just had to get the policeman out of my house.

"I think I'll take you down to the station," he said, turning to face me once more. "I could get an official statement from you; maybe look into filing a missing person report."

I shook my head, knowing there was no way I could waste time filling out ridiculous paperwork when my Edward needed me. "I don't think that will be necessary, officer."

"Why don't you let me decide what's necessary around—"

Suddenly the screen door slammed shut, and Rosalie rushed into the room. The policeman didn't seem to surprise her at all, and I silently hoped she had a plan to get him out of the house.

"Well, thank God you're here. We've been searching all over for you!" She looked me right in the eye and frowned for just a second before turning toward the officer and smiling brightly. "What did she do this time? I swear, this girl just can't hold her liquor. Poor Edward was worried sick when he realized you'd wandered away from the campsite." Every word she spoke rolled exaggeratedly, her accent stronger and brighter than normal.

"And you are?" the officer asked, glancing between the two of us.

"I'm Rosalie. Me and my boyfriend, Emmett, were camping up in the hills with her and Edward." She stepped closer to him, moving to stand between us, protecting me. "Bella here got a little too deep in a bottle of whiskey and passed out sorta early. When the rest of us decided to call it a night, she wasn't in her tent. We've been looking for her all through these damned woods." She shifted beside him, brushing her arm against his as she turned to fully face me. "Thank goodness she wasn't too drunk to find her way home."

Knowing the part I had to play, I looked up at her sadly. "I woke up and everyone was gone."

"Aw, puddin'." She rested her hand on the officer's arm when he started to move toward me, restraining him in a gentle, almost flirtatious way. "You know we'd never just up and leave you." She looked up at the policeman, her eyes round and wide. "I'm so sorry for the trouble, officer. She's such a forgetful drunk."

He smiled down at her, obviously enamored with her charm. "It was no trouble, really. I was just concerned when I saw the young lady passed out on the driveway."

Rosalie directed him toward the front door, smiling as if she were some southern belle trying to catch herself a husband. "Well, don't you worry. I'll take care of her until the boys come back home."

The officer placed his hat back on his head and moved to leave, not even realizing he'd been completely snowed by the beautiful blonde carnie. "Well, all right then. You two ladies be careful now. I don't want to have to come back here tonight."

"Oh, absolutely." Rosalie glanced back at me for a second, her smile falling for a moment when she knew he couldn't see her. "She'll be right as rain once I get some coffee in her."

She attempted to shut the door, but the officer threw out his hand. "And you're sure these other two, this Emmett and Edward, are fine? Miss Swan seemed to think they were in some kind of danger."

Rosalie frowned for a split second before turning back on the charm. "Of course they're fine. Bella has a hard time remembering what's real and what's only in her imagination when she's been drinking. She probably just forgot all about our camping trip when she woke up alone on her driveway with a policeman standing over her. I'm pretty sure that would've scared the blazes out of me!"

He glanced between the two of us again. I could tell he wanted to believe her, but it wasn't until he sighed that I knew we'd won. "Okay. But here's my card, just in case." He handed Rose a small, white business card and walked away. Rose closed the door behind him and leaned her forehead on it for a moment.

"Did you really just call me _puddin'_?"

She snorted. "Fucking Tanya's rubbing off on me."

She took a deep breath and turned toward me. The defeated look on her face made my heart stutter with dread, but I had to ask the questions swirling in my head.

"Edward?"

She shook her head slowly, her stare never wavering. I felt the sting of tears building in my eyes but held them back.

_Not now . . . not yet._

"Emmett?"

She shrugged. "I honestly don't know; I was too busy trying to track down Edward to really pay much attention to him."

The silence of the night enveloped the cabin as we stood, staring at one another. My heart ached and burned with the separation from my fíorghrá, and I knew Rose could feel it as well. The emotions flowed between us, suffocating us in their weight, drowning us in pain.

With more strength than I thought possible, Rose took a deep breath and stepped away from the door. "Get up; we have to move. My dad won't be here for another hour, and we need to be ready to roll as soon as he hits the driveway."

She moved to the stairs, shaking her head and almost mumbling under her breath. "They shouldn't have been able to get in; they shouldn't have been able to even get close to us. We thought we had everything covered, but they got through. It's not safe here."

I chased her up the stairs, my heart pounding in my chest, a ripping sensation burning me with each step. "What should I do?"

She paused at the door to the guest room. "Pack some clothes and whatever else you need for a couple of days. Pack a bag for Edward, too. We'll probably have to hide out for awhile if we find him."

Her words knocked the air from my chest painfully as realization washed over me. Edward was gone – not by choice but by force. I knew it as surely as I knew my own name. Someone took him, probably the same someone who had stalked us, broke into my trailer, and followed us to Chicago and back.

Someone planned this, knowing exactly how to get around our defenses.

"When," I said firmly, holding my head up and glaring at her. She turned to face me, looking confused and more than a little tired. I hadn't noticed the bags under her eyes or the sallow tinge to her skin when we'd been downstairs, but I saw them now. I remembered what she'd said about the boy in school, how his emotions overpowered her. I knew my fear and anguish had to be much worse, but I couldn't rein them in. Instead, I focused for a moment on my anger to make sure she understood.

"You said 'if' we find him. It's when – it has to be when."

She flinched but nodded slowly. "Of course – when. You'll need to pack some of his things so _when_ we find him, we can move quickly to a safe-house." She looked at the floor for a moment. When she met my eyes again, she had tears in hers. "Bella, I'm so sor—"

"Don't." I interrupted her firmly. "I don't need your apologies or your pity. I need your help." My voice cracked on the last word, but I pushed through. "Just help me find him, help me get him back."

She didn't respond, simply turned and walked into the guest room, presumably to pack. I rushed into my room, almost collapsing when the scent of caramel and rain slammed into me. My eyes burned with the building tears, but I refused to let them fall.

_Not now . . . not yet._

I grabbed two small suitcases from under the bed and tossed them on the bunched up quilt. I quickly filled mine with clothes, both our toiletries, and the electronics I thought I would need. Packing for Edward was much harder – I took my time folding his clothes, carefully placing them in the indistinct black bag so they wouldn't wrinkle. I picked only his favorite things – the dark boxer briefs he seemed to favor, the cargo pants that hid his scars, the fitted t-shirts that showed off his muscular arms. I grabbed his favorite sweatshirt, a thick gray one with 'Navy Pier' embroidered across the front, and placed it on top of the other clothes.

_Edward_

"Bella?" Rose's voice coming from the hallway startled me, and I realized I'd been standing still, staring at Edward's suitcase for far too long.

"Coming." My voice sounded raspy and foreign to my ears. The burning in my chest intensified, but I did my best to ignore it.

_Not now . . . not yet._

I zipped both bags closed and carried them down the stairs, setting them next to the door with Rose's.

"Are you ready?" she asked, looking out the window.

"One more sec," I responded as I hurried into the kitchen. I opened the drawer next to the refrigerator and froze, a small squeak exiting my parted lips.

"You okay in there?"

I shook my head, unable to speak, unable to look away from the empty basket at the front of the drawer box.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Rose wrapped her fingers around my wrist, breaking me from my stupor. I looked up at her and felt a single tear fall from my eye. Not now . . . not yet_._

"The medicine."

"What medicine, sweetie?" She glanced down into the drawer and back up at me, confused.

I shook my head. "His pain pills. His hips ache sometimes, and he needs these to feel better. They took his pills." I inhaled deeply, trying in vain to stop my hand from shaking as it pointed at nothing. "Whoever has him knew him enough to take his pills. Why would they do that? Why would they care if his hips ached or if he was comfortable?"

She shook her head. "I don't know, Bella, but we'll find them. Okay? We'll find them, and we'll get him back."

The pain in my chest flared, blistering me with its fiery claws. Her words offered no comfort. I nodded slowly and closed the drawer just as the front door opened.

"Girls?" The panic in Caius' voice made me jump, and I followed Rose as she walked toward her father.

"Oh, thank God." He pulled both of us into a strong hug, kissing the tops of our heads. "We have to move, now. Are you both ready to go?"

He released us from his hold, and we both nodded. "Good. Don't bother locking the door or setting the alarm. I'll be coming back as soon as I get you two someplace safe."

He spun quickly, grabbed our bags and strode out the door. Rose followed behind him, her head hung low. I stood, breathing deeply, memorizing the scents around me. Home and love, caramel and rain, mischief and ozone – the good and the bad, the sweet and the bitter. They called to me, reminding me of the life I knew here.

It could be a long time before I stood in this room again and even longer before I truly felt safe here. But deep down, I hoped I'd come home eventually . . . with Edward by my side.

**xXxXx**

"It smells like blood and sex in here," I murmured. I kept my head down, staring at the dirty, thread-bare carpet. Caius had brought us to a seedy motel just over the Georgia state line; he said a friend owned it. Between the bar where Edward fought with Emmett and this place, I was beginning to think I didn't want to know any of Caius' friends.

"I'm sure it does, but it's going to be home for awhile." Caius set the bags on the bed – mine and Edward's. The shredding inside my chest increased as I looked at them. Even Caius' familiar wintery scent couldn't ease the pain coming from inside me.

_Not now . . . not yet._

"Look, Bella. I know this is a lot to take." He grabbed my chin carefully and pulled until I was looking up at him. "Believe me when I tell you I _know_ _exactly_ what you're feeling right now. But you have to keep it together. Your mom and Phil will be here soon, and they're bringing reinforcements. We'll get out in those woods, and we _will_ find something to tell us what happened." He paused, giving me a chance to speak. When I didn't, he sighed. "I'll do everything I possibly can to get him back, but the truth of the matter is your link to him may end up being the only thing we have to go on. You're going to need to be strong if we're going to use you to help find him. Do you understand?"

I nodded slowly, fighting back tears. I certainly didn't feel strong. Without Edward by my side, I felt terrified, weak, helpless – more like a liability than an asset.

"Go get some rest." Caius pushed me gently toward the bed and turned to leave. "I'll send Renee in when she gets here, then we'll all convene in the meeting room to look over the maps and figure out our next steps." He stood there, one hand holding the door open, waiting for me to respond. When he realized I wouldn't – couldn't – he stepped out into the night, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

_Now._

My heart, once filled with love and hope for a future with Edward, shattered into a million pieces, each one tearing and ripping into the surrounding flesh. Every move, every breath, made the fire of the shredding inside me burn hotter. It was agony, it was torture, it was endless. There was no relief, no way through the pain of this separation.

I glanced around the dirty little room and felt hopelessness surround me. Moving carefully, wincing with every muscle flexed, I sat on the edge of the lone chair in the corner, not knowing what to do next. I wanted to crawl into the bed with Edward's sweatshirt and never leave. I wanted to turn out the lights and wait until he magically reappeared. I wanted someone to deliver him back to me, alive and unharmed.

I just wanted him back.

**xXxXx**

Walking to the meeting room was agonizing – each step forced the shards of my heart to twist and shred, plunge and rip. My mom walked in front of me, dragging me by the wrist. I hadn't said a word since she arrived. I couldn't. Just the thought of taking a breath deep enough to speak made my body freeze in anticipation and fear.

Phil, Rose, and Caius sat at a round table, a laptop open in front of them. They all looked up when we entered the room. The pity in their stares made me shrink further into myself, so I walked carefully to the opposite side of the table from where they sat and settled into a chair.

Phil smiled at my mom, then looked back down at the computer. "So how'd they get past the alarm system?"

"They didn't," Rose said, typing furiously and shaking her head. "Edward let them in."

Caius looked directly at me, his eyebrows raised.

"Do you know for sure it was Edward?" Renee asked quietly.

"The alarm pad recorded his PIN and thumbprint disarming the system at around two-thirty this morning."

"Any incidents before that?" Caius asked.

Rose shook her head. "The record preceding the two-thirty event was from me; I armed the system just after midnight."

Caius rubbed a hand over his face roughly while looking toward the ceiling. "Check the events for the whole day. Anything seem odd?"

Rose tapped on the keys, her face a mask of concentration as she stared at the screen. After several tense moments, she sighed and shook her head.

"Nothing. Jasper disarmed the system in the morning like always. There's the usual log of activity at the doors, alarming and disarming as we left and came back, a couple of windows being opened, resetting—"

"What windows?" I asked suddenly. Rose looked up, obviously shocked by my interruption. The tortuous ball of fire in my chest grew hotter, brighter, and I wrapped my arms around myself to try to quell the pain. It was no use . . . I was losing a battle I didn't even know how to fight.

"Um, hang on." Every click of her fingers on the keys made my irritation grow. My mom rubbed my shoulders softly, but I shook off her touch. I didn't want Renee's comfort – I wanted an answer from Rose. Luckily, it didn't take long to find the information she was looking for. "The front windows were opened at about eight in the morning."

I nodded, almost feeling disappointed. "That was probably Alice. She likes the cross-breeze from the front windows and the French doors."

"Any others?" Caius asked, looking back and forth between the two of us.

"Only one. The window in Bella's room was opened at a little before six, along with the front door." She looked up at me, her brow furrowed. "You opened the window right before we left for dinner?"

I shook my head. "Edward and I walked out before you. We were in the car when you set the alarm." I looked at the floor, the memories of the previous day making the pain in my chest spread through the rest of my body. "He joked that we could still make the early-bird special with all the senior citizens. I was laughing at him when you opened the car door."

Her blue eyes grew wide, and her mouth fell open. "Holy shit, you're right." She glanced at her dad before looking back at the screen. "There's nothing else out of the ordinary. Just us coming home later."

Caius crossed his arms. "You didn't notice the open window when you got home?"

I shrugged and felt the telltale warmth of tears on my face. "We were . . . distracted." I knew they all understood what I meant – that we had come home and gotten so wrapped up in each other, we hadn't noticed something so important to our safety. That we hadn't taken the time to make sure there was nothing unusual—

I froze as another memory, one solely built of sensation, struck me.

"I didn't smell them." I glanced over my shoulder at my mom, then back at Caius. "I remember the smells that night; I can name them all. But none of them were new or unexpected." Caius and Rose exchanged a glance, and she shrugged.

"I don't remember feeling the emotions of anyone else, and I always scan for them before I go to bed," Rose said.

Caius paced across the room and back, his footsteps loud in the relatively empty space. "What did you notice when you woke up, Bella?"

I thought back over the events of the night. "Edward's side of the bed was cold. I remember wondering where he was before I took a deep breath. That's when I realized she'd been there."

"Who?" Phil asked, looking at everyone briefly.

"The person that broke into my trailer and Edward's condo. I sensed the void; it had to be her."

Rose jumped to her feet. "Oh! The chick in the driveway! She must be some sort of sponge. Which means the one that broke into the cabin was her shield!"

Caius looked at her, shocked. "Damn, you're right. I didn't even think of that when Bella talked about the 'void' before."

"Sponge?" Renee asked from behind me. She placed a hand on my shoulder; this time I didn't brush it away.

"I call them that because they absorb things – smells, feelings, sometimes other people's gifts. All sponges have an older sibling with the power to hide themselves from . . . well, just about everything. The older siblings are the shields and are born first to protect the younger one."

Rose took pity on me when I looked up at her, still confused.

"The shield broke into the cabin, possibly with sponge-girl. That's why we couldn't sense them when we came home. The shield was blocking us from sensing the void left behind by the sponge."

Caius kneeled in front of me and grabbed my hand. "They had to have worked together to trick the two of you. Rose and you both have strong, defensive gifts. Very few people could have gotten past them." He stood and smiled softly at his daughter. "This is a good lead, Rose. Sponge-shield pairs are rare, and almost all of them can be traced back to two families in particular. It gives us somewhere to focus if we don't find any evidence in the woods."

Everyone jumped when his phone rang. He quickly put it to his ear and turned his back to us.

"This is Caius. Yeah. And you're sure it's the right one? Was there . . . fuck. Okay, man. You've been a real help. I owe you." He turned back around and looked at Phil. "We've got the Mustang."

"Where?" Phil asked, jumping up and walking across the room.

"About seventy miles north. It's parked at a rest stop in the mountains." He glanced at me, an unreadable expression on his face. "Phil and I will go bring it back. We can let you look at it—"

"What's wrong?" I asked. I may not have been a psychic or an empath, but I knew when Caius was hiding something from me. He shook his head slowly, his eyes flitting between Phil and me almost guiltily. "Uncle Cai, please. What did they say?"

He took a deep breath and stared right into my eyes. "The doors were unlocked, so he got in to make sure it was Edward's car. There was . . ." he paused, his voice faltering a bit. "Bella, there was a lot of blood on the passenger side floor."

The world froze as the pain in my chest enveloped my entire body. My limbs ached and burned, and my fingers felt stiff and swollen. Every joint and bone screamed in protest as the knowledge that my Edward, the other half to my soul, was probably injured. I couldn't think . . . couldn't function. My brain was caught in a tortuous loop – pictures of Edward scared and in pain, pools of red on gray carpet, the smell of caramel and death, rain and blood.

After what seemed like hours, I felt strong arms lifting me from my seat, and I turned my head toward the person manhandling me. Phil had picked me up and was carrying me out the door, presumably back to my room. It didn't matter, though. The pain and the fear and the agonizing images and smells would follow me wherever I went. There was no escape.

Caius stopped us at the door and put both hands on my face. His skin and hair looked pink through the haze of Edward's blood I continued to picture.

"I swear to you, Bella," he met my unfocused gaze strongly, his face etched in determination, "I will do everything in my power to find him."

I couldn't respond, too caught up in my head. The scent of blood followed me as Phil carried me up the stairs.

Caius' words held no importance, his promises empty. Without knowing who took Edward in the first place, there wasn't much anyone could do to find him. The thought of him trapped somewhere – injured, feeling scared and alone – physically rocked me.

I clutched at Phil's shirt as the flames blazed and my blood boiled. His lips moved against my hairline, his breath tickling me as he whispered words I couldn't understand. All I could hear was the deep thump of what I knew was Edward's heartbeat growing slower and softer in my head.

Phil set me on my bed and covered me with a blanket. I curled into the unfamiliar fabric, wrapping it around me as if for protection. But there was nothing that could save me from the hell of my own mind, and the images continued to loop and assault me from behind my closed eyes.

Blood and Edward, pain and death.

**xXxXx**

_Three weeks later_

The whoosh of someone opening the curtains and the sting of sunlight biting at my eyes woke me. For a second, a single heartbeat of time, I thought Edward had finally returned, but the agonizing pain in my chest and the nauseating odor of rot dashed that hope away almost before I had a chance to truly experience it.

"Caius is on his way up." Phil appeared in front of me when I refused to move. "I know you want to just lay there and wallow, but I have an idea that might help us find Edward, and I'm going to need you to make it work."

I closed my eyes and buried my head in the bedspread, trying to block out the pictures in my mind. "Just bring him back."

He sighed. "I wish I could, baby."

I felt the mattress bend as Phil sat on the edge, facing away from me.

"I know this has been hard on you, Bella. But you have to get out of this room. Hell, you have to get out of this bed! You have a bond with Edward that we need to help point us in the right direction, but you're too lost in your own grief to use it."

I clutched my chest tightly, wishing my arms could close the ragged hole caused by Edward's absence. As much as I knew how right Phil was, I simply couldn't push myself past this wall of sadness confining me. It was too high, too thick – and I felt too weak without my love beside me.

"All I see is blood, and all I smell is death." I paused, afraid to tell him, terrified to voice my greatest fear. I burrowed into the blanket and listened to the steady beat of my heart, wishing it were Edward's. "And . . . I can't feel him," I finally whispered.

Phil sighed. "You're still in shock. Caius was the same way when his Dora was missing. But he buckled down, he concentrated on their bond, and he led us to find her. You have to do the same, baby. You need to focus on Edward and the pull between you."

I choked on a sob, warm tears trailing down my cheeks. "It hurts too much, Daddy."

Strong arms surrounded me, lifting me from the bed.

"I know it hurts, but you need to do this. Edward is suffering too, and I know he'd do anything he could to come back to you. Will you do the same? Will you promise to do whatever you can to bring him back to you?"

The guilt his words wrenched made me gasp. I hadn't felt anything other than despair in weeks; I hadn't thought another emotion could be stronger than my grief. Pulling myself from the tarry blackness I'd been surviving in, I nodded against his shoulder.

"Good; that's good, baby." He kissed the top of my head before he pulled back, holding me at arm's length with his hands on my shoulders. "I'm going to ask Caius to do something he doesn't want to do, but it's the only thing left we haven't tried. He's not going to be happy, but he'll do it if you tell him to. He loves you and wants you happy. Can you do this for me? Can you just follow my lead and agree to what I propose, no matter what Cai tells you?"

I nodded again, confused but trusting as the picture of Edward's blood pooling flashed behind my eyes and glowed brighter. We both jumped when Caius strode into the room. He looked terrible – dark purple marks under his eyes, cheeks hollow, expression lifeless. Sadly, I knew I probably looked far worse.

Without preamble or greeting, Phil took control of the conversation.

"We need to call in The Tracker." He stood and crossed his arms with his back against the wall, defensive.

"No fucking way," Caius argued, shaking his head. I looked between the two men, having no idea who or what this tracker was.

"We've spent weeks out in those woods, and we have nothing. It's time to call in a professional."

Phil stared at Caius, frowning when he shook his head.

"Cai, we can't do this alone anymore. There's nothing out there we can find. Without The Trac—"

"No." Caius sounded firm, determined.

"Yes, damn it. We can't waste anymore time."

"No."

"You know we need to—"

"No."

"You don't get to just—"

"No."

"I will not let my daughter die because you have a grudge against the guy!"

The two of them stood chest to chest. Phil was breathing hard, his face red, as he glared at his friend and sponsor. I didn't understand their history with this Tracker, but I knew just hearing the name had made Caius angry.

Caius stared at Phil, a look of determination on his face. "He can't be trusted."

Phil just shook his head. "He's the only hope we have."

"Fuck, man. Don't you think—"

"I want him." My voice sounded scratchy, and my throat hurt from weeks of crying and screaming in my sleep, but it was loud enough to catch both men's attention. "I want this tracker. I want to find Edward."

Caius looked between the two of us, glaring slightly. "Bella, you don't understand. The man has no loyalty. If we hire him and whoever took Edward finds out, they can use him to play us for fools. He could waste our time taking us on wild goose chases all across the country."

I glanced at Phil quickly. The desperation on his face confirmed my decision. I turned toward Caius and stood slowly, locking my knees so I didn't wobble. The pictures faded slightly from behind my eyes, and for the first time in weeks, I could smell something other than blood and death. I couldn't place it at first, having not sensed it in so long, but after a few minutes of breathing in the delicate, flowery fragrance I realized exactly what it was.

Hope.

"You promised me," I said, my strength returning slowly as I clung to that wisp of potential. "You swore you would do everything in your power."

Caius inhaled sharply, looking away from me, and I knew I had him.

"I want Edward back, no matter what. I want The Tracker; call him in."

.

.

.


	27. Perceptions

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

_._

Guilt. It hung stagnant in the air, its foulness stifling. With every new piece of information I learned, it grew stronger, more moist and dense, until it saturated every aspect of my world.

My self-imposed exile for the first three weeks after Edward disappeared meant I had missed all that had happened around me. I didn't know the sacrifices others were making to help, didn't realize what they had lost.

Like the fact that the Brandons, Whitlocks and my parents no longer worked for Eclipse so they could spend all their time and money traveling across the country following leads, searching for Edward.

Or that Caius had rented every room at the crappy hotel we were staying in when the owner began to complain about lost revenue due to our need for privacy.

And then there was Rose . . . the sweet, funny, yet tortured woman was fighting a losing battle with her gift. The emotions assaulting her from the people coming and going were too strong for her to block out, and she'd slowly sunk into herself. Jasper and Caius tried to help, to soothe her, but she pushed them away, saying their concern was too overwhelming. When I finally saw her for the first time since the night Edward went missing, I was stunned at how drab and lifeless she looked. What worried me the most, though, was the almost complete lack of her normal scent.

There just wasn't enough left of 'Rose' to sense anymore, and I had no idea how to bring her back . . . how to save her from the emotions.

_My gift isn't extra-special; it's extra-tortuous._

My legs felt weak, and every step lashed pain across the space where my heart once beat as I walked downstairs, still thinking of all my friends and family had sacrificed to help find my Edward. I had no way to repay them, no idea how to show my appreciation.

Besides, my mind was too busy contemplating what was about to happen, what I was walking into. He was coming today - The Tracker.

_He can't be trusted._

Caius didn't want him here, and Phil's decision to bring him in anyway had damaged their friendship greatly. I'd seen it in their faces, known it when Caius left the hotel on his Harley, the engine roaring to life and shattering the tentative peace of the countryside. I'd watched through the windows as Phil paced the parking lot long after the sun had set . . . waiting.

Caius hadn't come back.

I walked into the meeting room and looked at all the maps, drawings and papers pinned to the walls. The fact that everyone had been working while I'd been hiding in my room made me feel small and selfish . . . again.

"There she is! This is Bella," Phil said. He stood next to a blond man with the most piercing light blue eyes I'd ever seen. I took a step back and shivered as his gaze surrounded me, pushing on my skin in a physical sense, penetrating all the way into my soul. He showed no emotion while taking me in, his expression cold but not completely blank.

After several uncomfortable moments, he asked, "You're Edward's girlfriend?" I glanced at Phil, who nodded slightly.

I looked into those intrusive eyes, fighting against the urge to turn and run from the room. "He's my love."

He furrowed his brow for a second, his face growing a shade darker as he continued to stare. The scrutiny made my hands begin to shake and my legs feel rubbery, but I held my ground. He reached forward, grabbing my hand in a gesture more intimate than a simple handshake. I gasped and pulled away when the bouquet of caramel danced between us, smothering the guilt hanging listless in the air. If he noticed my discomfort, he didn't acknowledge it.

"The name's James." His voice, smooth and warm, soothed my frazzled nerves. The tone didn't fit his appearance in the least. "You and Edward are more than just fíorghrás; you're red threads. You don't see that too much these days." He glanced quickly around the room and placed his hands on his hips. "Hopefully that'll be enough for me to get a read on him."

_A Masen has found his red thread. Isn't that lovely, Libby?_

He and Phil turned back to the maps on the wall, talking about grid patterns and tracking dogs. I moved toward the corner farthest from them, watching, wondering what made James 'The Tracker.' He certainly didn't look like much. Other than those intense blue eyes, he seemed completely average - dishwater blond hair, average height, slim build. Yet he exuded a gentle power, an energy that made me want to move closer, feel more.

Watching him move about the room, I noticed the telltale shadow of a tattoo under the white t-shirt and felt the tears building in my eyes. How many times had I noticed the same darkness under Edward's shirts? How many times had I run my fingers, my lips, my tongue along the ink on his chest, back and shoulders? When was the last time? He'd been missing over three weeks – had it been a month? More?

_Legend has it the Ulbster shield knot would distract an enemy long enough so the owner would win any battle._

A sob choked me, the pulse of blood rushing through my veins drowning the sound. Memories of the two of us curled together on the bed in Tennessee – sweaty skin sliding, panting breaths mingling – bombarded me, almost knocking me off my feet. I bent in half, my arms curled protectively around my waist, as the pain in my chest tore through the rest of my body.

"Bella?" Phil suddenly appeared at my side, reaching out to hold me up as I wobbled.

"I can't do this," I whispered, barely able to get the words out. I gripped Phil's hand, clinging like a lifeline through the agony surrounding me, but it wasn't enough. It couldn't be. Only Edward's love and touch could pull me from the hell my life had become.

Knowing I wouldn't find any comfort, I turned to leave, tripping and stumbling across the shoddy carpet as I rushed toward the door.

"I've always said love makes you weak." The voice of The Tracker made me pause, and I looked over my shoulder. "You'd assume someone in your position would fight for the person they claim to love so much, but you're just letting him go, aren't you, princess?"

"We're all fighting," Phil said, obviously defending me in his subtle way, even though I didn't deserve it.

"She's not," James said, gesturing at me. "She's locking herself up in her room and wallowing."

"What do you know about it?" I asked, anger and pain hardening my voice. "Do you have any idea what it's like to be separated from your fíorghrá? Do you know how much it hurts just to breathe without him nearby?"

James shook his head and ambled toward me. "Nope. I can't say I've ever been cursed enough to meet the other half of my soul. But I can tell you this – you've got this amazing bond to Edward, this ability to almost sense him from wherever you are. And instead of exercising it so you can point us in a direction, you're lying in bed – alone – because you're too afraid to risk actually looking for him."

I shook my head, his words knotting my stomach. "No. You don't know—"

"That's where you're wrong." He stopped directly in front of me, barely a foot away. "I do know. I've worked with hundreds of people who've lost their spouses, their siblings, their kids. Most of them fight – refusing to give up even when the 'experts' call the case hopeless. The rest hide, wishing someone else had the strength to actually go out and find what they've lost. Just like you." He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, sneering. "Guess which ones are more likely to get their loved ones back."

The acidic scent of hate swelled, followed closely by ozone. For the first time since Edward went missing, I moved easily, no pain in my chest. The rage burned away everything else, leaving me one giant ball of anger.

"You don't know what you're talking about," I spit through gritted teeth, stepping toward him deliberately as he backed away. "I would kill for him, die for him. I would turn my life inside out if it meant he could be just one tiny bit happier than the day before."

James frowned. "And yet you've spent three weeks in bed, doing nothing, accomplishing nothing. If that's your idea of love, maybe it's best Edward's not with you anymore."

The room practically glowed with the light from the fury blazing through my body. I reached for him, barely missing his arm as he dodged to the right.

"Ah ah. I've heard all about your little internal generator." He stepped back and around a chair, using it to keep me from getting too close. "Now, how about you do something to help Edward instead of being a selfish little girl? What do you feel?"

"Get out." My entire body shook with the need to attack, to defend myself and my love of Edward, to make this stranger hurt for his words.

James just shook his head and glared, showing no fear. "No. What do you feel?"

"I feel like electrocuting your ass across the state line and back." I brought my hands up in front of my face, angrier than I'd ever been in my life. Sparks flew between the two as I moved them closer together, arcs of blue and purple light flowing from fingertip to fingertip. James glanced at my hands briefly, then brought those pale eyes back to mine.

"You don't scare me, princess. Go deeper – what do you feel? Where's Edward?"

"How the fuck should I know?" My control snapped in a heartbeat. The energy swirled and scratched, every inch of my body pulsing with it. I had to look deranged - with my wide eyes, pale skin and the hair lifting from my head with the static - but I couldn't stop. All I wanted, all I cared about, was getting this asshole away from me.

"You do know," James yelled. "Push harder; feel for the thread. Where is he?"

"I don't know."

"Quit being so lazy; try _harder_."

"I can't! I don't know—"

"Harder!"

"Fuck you!"

"Deeper, Bella. Where is he? Which direction?"

I grabbed the chair between us, the fire burning my fingers as they wrapped around the metal frame. The room filled with a roaring sound, and for a moment I was blinded by the white light shining in front of me. I felt the metal give and begin to melt, felt the pain of the blisters forming on my hands, but I couldn't let go. My temper wasn't satiated yet. I wanted to scream, to hit, to hurt. I wanted him to suffer as I'd suffered. I wanted him to—

_Le do thoil, Bella. Just…le do thoil._

My emotions shifted as my heart quivered urgently in my chest. The sensation reminded me of a fly in a web, the vibrations from his wings alerting the spider to his presence. I focused on the pull, recognizing but not understanding - my mind refusing to believe, to hope. It grew stronger, tugging and pulling on my heart like a fish on a line, like a dog on a leash . . .

Like my heart joined to another with a thread.

"Edward," I gasped softly.

"Where?" James voice, quiet yet strong, broke through the overflow of emotions warring through my body, and in that second, I finally realized what I had just felt, what I'd been feeling subtly under the agony in my chest for the past three weeks.

I tried to focus on the tug, tried to discern something that could help us, but I didn't know how.

"I don't . . . I'm not sure."

"But you feel him?" James asked, smiling when I nodded. "Good, that's good, Bella." He moved closer cautiously. "I need to try and connect to that thread, which means connecting to you. Will you shock me if I touch you?"

I shook my head, and he reached forward slowly. When his fingers wrapped around my forearm, I stilled and stared into his eyes. Honey and caramel, rain and cashmere caressed me, excited my senses. All the guilt and pain fell away, leaving me refreshed and calm, much more comfortable than I'd been in weeks.

James pulled me closer, embracing me like a lover. We pressed together from shoulder to hip, staring, breathing, clutching one another. I couldn't move, couldn't resist. I hadn't felt this way in so long, not since—

_Tá mo chroí istigh ionat._

"North," James whispered, surprising me. "North and west." He breathed in deeply, his nose pressed against my hair, his arms wrapped all the way around my waist. "He's near water, a lot of water. A lake? A river?"

"He has a condo in Chicago," Phil said. "That's also where his mother lives."

James released me slowly, his hands gliding across my hips, and stepped back. Confusion crashed over me like a cold wave, making me shiver. How could I let him hold me like that, like Edward would? Why did it feel so calming and familiar when he was really just a stranger? How could I smell lust and Edward when James touched me?

While I sat down in a chair with my churning emotions, James and Phil moved back toward one of the maps across the room, oblivious to my internal struggle.

"Chicago's highlighted," James said. "Who went and when?"

Phil glanced at the map in question. "It's pink, so that means Esme and Alice. If I remember correctly, Carlisle went with them. Hang on, I know I have the . . ."

I looked up from the floor as Phil dug through some folders on the table, muttering to himself. James glanced at me and smiled softly, which only made me even more confused. I didn't want him looking at me, didn't want to think about what just happened, about his arms around me.

About how good it felt to be held.

"Here we are," Phil said, holding up a manila file. "Yeah, Esme, Alice and Carlisle visited Chicago three days after Edward went missing. They stopped at his condo and his mother's apartment, which was empty. They talked to some of Elizabeth's neighbors, but no one had seen her in weeks."

"Hmmm." James stared at the map, his brow furrowed. "It's close but not quite right. Let's give it a little time. Maybe Bella can help me narrow the range a bit."

"You mean we have to do that again?" I asked softly. Both men looked at me with concern. "I just mean, I don't know if I . . . if we . . ." My face burned as realization slid across James' face. He glanced at Phil quickly, then focused back on me.

"Yeah, we'll be doing that again," James said as he stepped closer. "I'm sorry if invading your space made you uncomfortable, but it was the only way to really feel your connection with Edward." He sat down beside me, pulling his chair close and leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "My gift works best if I've met the person I'm searching for. If I've actually touched them, there's no possible way for them to avoid me; I could track them across the globe and back. In a case like this where I don't know the victim, I have to try to ride shot-gun on the senses of the person they're closest to."

He grabbed my hand delicately with his, our fingers barely touching. The smell of caramel again teased my senses as he whispered, so close I could feel his breath against the corner of my mouth. "The emotions and smells we both felt when I held you were something similar to what you would normally feel with Edward; they weren't really because of me. It was your connection to _him_ that pulled them from you, not anything to do with me." He leaned back, finally giving me room to breathe. The warm sweetness on the air hung between us, and I battled internally over whether I should move away or pull him closer.

I'd missed that smell so much . . .

"You're a beautiful girl. Any man would be lucky to have your heart," he said softly, interrupting my thoughts and finally releasing my hand. He looked up then, his eyes clear and bright as they stared into mine, no longer calculating. "But it belongs to another, and I respect that. I will never take advantage of the situation inappropriately, so there's nothing to feel guilty or confused about. I need you to pull on that thread between you and Edward and share it with me physically if I'm going to find him. Okay?"

He seemed so sincere, so open, that I couldn't doubt him. The caramel that always reminded me of my Edward faded away as the smell of tea with cream and bergamot grew - warm and soothing, sweet and safe. James' smell.

I nodded and smiled, believing him easily.

"Thank you for trusting me." James patted my knee as he stood and walked toward Phil. "Now go and change into whatever you normally exercise in. Your dad says you're a runner, and I saw what looked like a decent running trail in those hills to the east. It's time for you to get off your ass, princess."

Phil and James went back to discussing various cities around Lake Michigan as I walked out of the room, my heart lighter and my head clearer than either had been in weeks. I'd felt Edward – truly felt him in my heart. And it was because of James.

This was going to work . . . it had to.

No more hiding.

**xXxXx**

The sun danced along the hilltop as I followed James up the incline, panting faster to keep time with our increased pace. The muscles in my legs burned and my lungs ached, but I welcomed the pain. I needed it. The stretching and flexing helped soothe my soul, and the rhythm of my footfalls gave my brain the blank background to process all the thoughts flitting about.

As shameful and angry as I had felt at being called out for my avoidance, James was right. I'd hidden from everything these past weeks, refusing to put in the work to find Edward myself. I was afraid of the risk, afraid to feel more pain than I was already suffering. In just minutes, James made me see that I needed to get off my ass and actually _do_ something to find Edward. Even if that something was just staying close to him as he ran in front of me, leading back toward the hotel.

"Damn," James said once we stopped outside the lobby. He pulled his shirt from the waistband of his shorts and rubbed it over his face before sliding it along his sweaty chest. "That trail was a hell of a lot steeper than I thought. You okay?"

I bent and rested my hands on my knees, panting. I knew I'd pay tomorrow for the strain I'd placed on my muscles by running hills, but right at that moment all I felt was an oddly energizing physical exhaustion. Just another thing I'd missed recently, given back to me by James.

Before I could answer him, my phone vibrated against my breast. I stood and pulled it out of my bra, snorting when I saw James' eyes widen.

"It's not like I have pockets," I said sarcastically before frowning at the screen. I didn't recognize the area code.

"Hello?" The word came out as a question, my curiosity piqued.

"Um, hi. Is this Bella Swan? Edward Masen's girlfriend?" A feminine voice came through the speaker, sounding slightly familiar.

"Yes," I replied, my eyes meeting James'. I could feel the concern and curiosity rolling off him. "This is Edward's girlfriend."

"Bella, you probably don't remember, but we met this past summer. My name's Angela – I'm Edward's neighbor."

"Oh right. I remember you." I shrugged at James who stepped closer and indicated I should shift the phone so he could hear as well. I pulled it away from my ear and pressed the button to switch it over to speaker mode instead and mouthed 'Edward's neighbor' to him. "What can I help you with, Angela?"

"I was wondering if you'd seen Edward recently."

My stomach dropped at the obvious concern in her voice. "No, actually I haven't. Why?"

She sighed. "Bella, I hate to tell you this, but there was a fire in the building three days ago. It started in Edward's condo and spread really fast. Our floor is almost a total loss."

James grabbed my wrist and glared at the phone. That cold, calculating look was back on his face. "Was anyone hurt?"

If Angela was surprised to hear the male voice, she didn't mention it. "That's sort of why I'm trying to find Edward. There was a body found in his unit. It was too burnt for identification, but it . . . he—"

She paused, and my blood turned to ice as I heard words spoken in a voice that sounded a lot like my own, though I couldn't remember speaking them.

"Who was it?"

"They don't know for sure. The body was burnt beyond recognition, and Edward's dental records are lost. The cops think it's him, though. I don't want to believe them, but," she paused and sighed, "the person, the man, matches Edward's height, and he . . . he'd had a hip replaced, just like Edward."

Something burned and scraped along my throat, my hands, my knees. I couldn't hear, couldn't see past the swirling blackness engulfing me. Edward, my sweet, loving boy . . . burned . . . dead. The loss of him ripped me apart from the inside out, razing whatever was left of my soul. The hands of blackness jerked me down, gripped onto my heart and stopped the beating in an instant. I surrendered immediately, sinking fast into the abyss, rushing to escape the pain and the emptiness.

There could be no life for me without him, no hope, no way through the night.

The sting of a hand connected harshly with the side of my face. It took me by surprise, and I turned in the direction it came from, pushing through the darkness. Flashes of James squatting in front of me flashed in front of my eyes, but I couldn't focus, couldn't see past the cloud of dark. Somewhere someone was calling my name, louder than the sound of my sobs, but it didn't matter. It wasn't my Edward. Without him, there was nothing.

_Not even love gets a second chance from death._

James struck me again, and this time my head rocked to the side hard enough to make my neck sting. My knees throbbed, and I realized I was kneeling on the concrete, blood pooling from where I must have fallen. My fingers stung from clawing at the concrete, my nails broken and torn, but I couldn't stop. Tears ran down my cheeks, blurring my vision, but I could still make out James' ice-blue eyes staring into mine.

"Bella, stop." James grabbed my face between his hands and pulled me forward, hard. "Stop. He's not dead. There is no possible way that body is Edward's."

I sobbed and gasped, close to hyperventilating and barely able to speak. "How . . . how co-could you k-k-k-know—"

He pulled my face closer, his forehead pressing against mine. "Because they found that body three days ago, and you're still alive."

His words made no sense. They pushed against my mind, but it was too busy screaming in horror to allow them entry, to make sense of their meaning. I shook my head as I sunk slowly back into my chasm of grief, just wanting to collapse into the dark and never come back.

"Bella," James said, shaking me roughly. "You're his fíorghrá. When he dies, you'll die. There won't be a multiple-day gap between the two . . . hell, most pairs die within twenty-four hours of each other. Plus you felt him earlier today; we both did." He stared into my eyes, his voice fierce and filled with honesty. I struggled to focus on him, on his voice.

"You still feel him, don't you?" he asked. "That tug in your chest is still there, right?" It took a few moments for me to understand his questions, but when I did, I nodded. That subtle vibration was still there, quivering even as the weight of my suffering bore down on it. "That's your tie to him, your bond. If he was dead, that thread would be broken, and so would you. What you feel right now – that yawning hole of pain – is nothing compared to what you'd feel if you truly lost him. It's nothing. He's not dead."

I stared into his blue eyes, wanting to believe more than I'd ever wanted anything. Esme's words from so many months ago flitted through my head, comforting me in their similarity to James'.

_One cannot live in a world where the other doesn't exist._

"He's not dead," I whispered.

James gave me a small smile and shook his head. "No, he's not. Not yet. I have no doubt that he's alive."

No doubt – the phrase struck close to home, resonating like a gong in my chest. How many times had Edward and I said those same words to one another, finding peace and strength in them? And how had James known exactly what I needed to hear to push myself back out of the black hole I'd fallen into?

He had no doubts.

And I realized I couldn't either.

Making a split-second decision and following my gut, I leaned forward and pulled him into my arms. My eyes closed as the scent of warm caramel and rain blanketed me, soothing as always. I breathed it in gratefully. My hands shook as they clutched at James' back, but he didn't pull away. He wrapped his arms around my hips and lifted us onto our knees, pressing every possible inch of his body against mine.

We stayed like that for several minutes, both of us focusing on the thread inside me . . . the thread that would lead me back to my fíorghrá. He was the first to pull away, his hands sliding along my arms until he could weave our fingers together.

"Not in Chicago but close. A little further east, I think," he said, smiling at me. I returned the gesture even as I sniffled through the last of my tears. No more . . . no more crying and weakness. It was time to find Edward.

Time to have no doubts.

"I want to go to Chicago."

James grinned and pulled me slowly to my feet, keeping one arm wrapped around my waist as he helped me inside. "We'll leave first thing tomorrow."

He led me to the meeting room and sat me in a chair. I looked around, taking note once again of all the pictures and papers pinned to the walls. One picture in particular caught my attention, drawing me like a magnet. I stood before it, silently contemplating, feeling the quiver in my chest grow stronger. I sighed, knowing this was the right decision to make.

Edward would want me to do this.

"We're taking the Mustang."

**xXxXx**

We calculated the drive to Chicago would take about nine hours, even with two stops along the way for food and gas. The Mustang's engine growled as I drove, the aggressive sound matching my mood. The long hours on the road with little distraction gave me plenty of time to prepare mentally for the fight I sensed we were heading into. I glanced occasionally at the passenger side floor, knowing that underneath the floor mat was the dried blood we assumed belonged to Edward. The thought of someone hurting him, spilling his blood so thoughtlessly, made me want to punch the gas so I could reach him faster.

Only the fear of going to jail for reckless driving kept me from speeding . . . much.

Phil had argued against James and I going alone, so in the end we relented and allowed Rose to accompany us. Her presence disturbed me – I'd never met someone whose aroma had faded the way hers had. Even locked in the small space with the windows rolled up, I had to really work to notice it, rosemary being the only note left.

I assumed James must have noticed something as well. When he shook her hand that morning before loading the car, he'd looked confused and even a little scared. I wondered what, if anything, he'd sensed with his gift.

She sat quietly in the back seat, staring out the window for the first portion of the trip. And then we reached Kentucky.

"Why does my Dad hate you so much?" she asked suddenly, taking James and I by surprise. He glanced at me, his face turning hard and cold, donning a mask of aloofness. I sensed the energy shift around him, felt the hesitance, and smelled his nervousness. I didn't think he'd answer, but he surprised me.

"Because perception is reality, and my perceptions were wrong once."

I snorted at his non-answer. "I think you can do better than that, James."

He sighed and looked toward me. I kept my eyes on the road while he stared. Finally he rubbed a hand roughly over his face and turned in his seat so he could speak directly to Rose.

"I was still in high school when I came into my ability to feel other people's essences. It was . . . scary. No one in my family had any kind of gift; neither did my friends." He paused, staring out the back window.

"You have to understand – when I turned eighteen, my gift became more than just a way to sense people. I could track them down, find them. If you asked me where my father was, I could tell you almost the exact longitude and latitude for where he stood right then. I was young and arrogant, and I thought I was always right. I thought I knew . . ." He trailed off for a moment, lost in his thoughts.

After less than a mile, he started again, his voice darker this time. "So when some guy I went to high school with came looking for me, offering me money to help him find his missing sister, I jumped at the chance. I still don't know how he knew what I could do, but he did. She'd been missing for two months, and I was able to pinpoint her location in less than ten minutes. Their whole family seemed so grateful."

He turned and sat back down in his seat but kept facing me. "It didn't take long for word to spread about my ability to find people. I received phone calls everyday asking, begging me to help find someone. It wasn't as easy when I didn't know the person, but I didn't fail. I always found the person in the end, even if it didn't make anyone happy."

He turned to look out the window, and the meaning behind his words made me feel sick. He always found them, though sometimes it was too late. I ground my teeth and gripped the steering wheel tighter, fighting against the panic building in my gut. That wouldn't happen with Edward. We would find him before . . . that.

"So when this old guy with a ridiculous comb-over offered me a quarter of a million dollars to find his daughter, I didn't hesitate. He told me she had run off with some guy who beat her, and she was trying to get away when the two of them disappeared. And I believed him. I never even asked any questions about her . . . or him."

I heard a sniffle and looked into the rearview mirror. Rose's chin rested on her hand, tears falling down her cheeks. My stomach dropped as my eyes fell on her fingertips running along the burn scars on her arm – pink, angry, covering her flesh in a constant reminder of a distant pain. Somehow I knew James' story had something to do with those scars.

"Your dad . . ." James shook his head a little and swallowed hard enough for me to hear it. "I watched him for almost a week. He was so careful to lock the doors when he left, always looking around as if expecting someone to be spying on him. He's got a weird sense about stuff like that, you know?

"I watched Caius for six days as he met with the shadiest characters I'd ever seen. Every last one of them looked like drug-addicts or hard-core bikers. He was in and out of bars, drug-dens, seedy motels. From my point of view, everything about him screamed criminal. So when I saw a chance to rescue your mom, I took it."

For several minutes the only sound in the car was the drone of the engine and the buzz of the tires rolling on concrete. Rose and James stared out the windows, both seemingly lost in their own thoughts.

"I didn't know you and your brother were in the house. I didn't know your dad was just protecting his family by being so cautious. I didn't know the guy with the comb-over was some mob-boss trying to get revenge on your dad for breaking up his drug ring. I didn't know . . ." He took a deep, shaky breath, then whispered, "I didn't know the guy I was partnered with would set the house on fire and lock you and Jasper inside as soon as I walked out the door with your mom."

I sucked in a breath and held it, my eyes burning with unshed tears. Suddenly a lot of things made sense – why Caius kept such a careful watch over Dora and his kids, his hatred of James, the scars on Rose's arms. Caius' family had been attacked, and he believed the man sitting next to me was responsible.

James' perceptions of Caius had caused a horrific reality to settle upon the Whitlock family.

"I don't accept just any clients anymore," James said finally. He turned around in his seat again. Rose looked up, angry and sad all at once. "I have someone I trust research all the calls for help I receive to make sure I'm not . . . I don't . . . mess up like that again. But your dad doesn't trust me, not that I blame him." He reached toward her, rubbing his fingertips over the back of her hand. "I'm so sorry."

Rose stared at him for a moment. She nodded slightly before turning back toward the window, blocking us out once again. James removed his fingers and sat down facing forward, staring out the window at the world as it flew past.

The three of us once again fell into an uneasy silence which lasted until we stopped outside Indianapolis for gas. Rose ran inside to buy me a bottle of water and use the restroom while I filled the tank. The Mustang may have looked great and drove like a dream, but it definitely guzzled the gas.

As the pump clicked on and the hose grew cold from the liquid pouring into the tank, James came up beside me and rested his hips against the side of the car.

"Edward wouldn't like you standing there."

He smiled a bit and crossed his arms. "Why? Because I'm too close to you?"

_Right now my problem is that you're going to scratch the clear-coat._

I snorted. "No. Because you're leaning on his baby." James looked down for a second and smiled. "Your jeans might rub against the car and cause scratches. Trust me, he'd be mad."

"You have experience with this, huh?"

I nodded and watched the numbers roll forward on the display as my mind wandered to that day - the silence, the arguing, the wet slide of his tongue against mine as he frantically kissed me on the hood of the car.

"I once forced him to speak to me by sitting on the hood. He was not thrilled . . . at least not at first."

James chuckled softly. "I bet you give that boy a run for his money." I smiled and laughed shortly, still remembering our trek across Alabama after flying home from Chicago. That day seemed like a lifetime ago . . . two lifetimes, maybe.

_Yours, a stór. I'm always yours_

"We're losing her," James muttered suddenly. I jerked my head toward his, following his eye-line until I saw Rose through the windows of the convenience store, standing in line at the counter. "There's hardly anything to her essence when I touch her."

"I can barely smell her anymore." I looked into his eyes and saw the confusion there. "Everyone has their own scent. She used to smell like talcum powder, sparks, and rosemary when we were younger. Now . . ." I paused and shook my head, "the rosemary's all that's left, and even that is light. I've never met someone whose scent just faded away."

James turned to watch her again. "We have to help her."

"I don't know how." I jumped a bit when the pump stopped, the thump startling me.

"We'll think of something." James pushed off the side of the car and walked around to the other side, opening the passenger door for Rose as she walked across the parking lot. I watched her as she looked at James, her eyes dull and a frown on her face.

I knew she could sense our concern, but she didn't bring it up, so neither did I. As much as it pained me, I had to focus on finding Edward before I could deal with helping her.

_What if…something happens to you and it's my fault?_

I slid into the driver's seat and turned the key, pushing the guilt to the back of my mind and focusing on memories of Edward.

**xXxXx**

We arrived in Chicago in the middle of rush hour. The roadways were so congested, so filled with cars, that it took well over two hours to travel the few miles from the highway to the hotel, passing the White Sox baseball stadium along the way.

_Either you're a Sox fan or a Cubs fan. And if you claim to be both, it makes you a pussy._

We started searching for Edward immediately, first calling Angela to get more information on the fire. For two days, we talked to neighbors, firemen, police officers. We tracked every lead, walked through his neighborhood a hundred times and even broke into Elizabeth's apartment. Surprisingly, it was empty. By the dust gathering on the counters, no one had lived there in a long time.

Everyday James and I held one another, focusing on the thread around my heart. Each time I felt the quiver, smelled the caramel, but it didn't lead us any closer. James assumed he was being held somewhere in northwest Indiana, though that didn't help us nearly as much as we would have liked.

On the morning of the third day, I awoke frustrated and sad. Nothing we'd done had helped. We had yet to find a single answer in Chicago, and I felt discouraged by our lack of progress. The longer Edward was missing, the more likely something horrible could happen to him.

I crawled out of bed quietly, afraid to wake James or Rose who were, surprisingly, sharing the bed next to mine. Normally Rose slept in my bed, but they'd been out walking Edward's neighborhood again last night when I went to sleep.

I dressed quickly in a pair of cropped yoga pants and a short-sleeved shirt before slipping my running shoes on. I needed to think, to plan what we were going to do next, and the only way for me to get a clear enough head to do that was to run. Knowing my iPod was sitting in the glove box, I grabbed the keys to the Mustang and crept out into the hallway. I didn't want to wake my roommates and possibly embarrass them.

The air was a bit chilly as I stepped outside and walked toward the parking lot. The sky glowed with the pink light of sunrise, the buildings to the west reflecting the light back at me. My eyes burned from the sting, my vision lost in the haze, and I brought my hand up to my brow so I could shade them to find the Mustang. What I saw instead made my heart race and my fists clench.

_He can fuck a gypsy until she's blue in the face, but his dick will never be more important than the road._

"Persistent little whore, aren't you?" Elizabeth asked. She leaned against the hood of the Mustang, watching me approach with a look of revulsion on her face.

"I could say the same thing about you." I looked her up and down, noticing how dirty and tattered her clothing appeared. This wasn't the same woman I met all those months ago, at least not on the outside. "Where's Ed—"

"Get in," she said, interrupting me. She walked around to the passenger side of the car, not looking at me. I didn't respond, just stood staring at her until she finally huffed and glared my way.

_It's okay, chéadsearc. Don't be scared. It's almost over._

"If you ever want to see my son alive again, you'll get in the damned car and start driving."

.

.

.


	28. Within

_Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I make money off writing about them. If I owned them, the books and movies would not be appropriate for people under 18, just like this story - consider yourself warned. This plot, however, is mine – no fiddling with it without my express permission._

* * *

.

My mom once told me life was like a map – roads leading this way and that, different avenues to travel, different destinations – each one the result of decisions made along the way. Sometimes it took great internal debate to come to conclusions that lead you in a particular direction – minutes, hours, even days of looking over each possibility, of wondering if the path ahead of you was the right one. Of wishing for guidance and foresight to have the confidence to change the course of your life.

The decision to get into that Mustang with the woman who promised me knowledge of Edward's location was not one of those.

Within seconds of shutting the door, I was racing south out of the city, heading toward the Indiana border per Elizabeth's instructions. I didn't speak as I drove, my fingers clenching and unclenching around the black steering wheel, my agitation making me drive faster than I should have.

A nauseatingly sweet snake oil smell filled the car. Heavy and near-putrid, it turned my stomach to the point of convulsively swallowing to keep the gorge down. Too strong to pay attention to anything else, I still got the feeling something was off about it . . . different from the last time I'd met her. The cloying stench seemed almost incomplete somehow.

The connection to Edward, that indescribable feel of him being attached to me, buzzed and hummed in the background of my consciousness, becoming louder and stronger the farther I drove. It distracted me from nasty smells and bitchy mothers, from rash decisions and the loss of my support system.

I desperately wished James was with me. I wanted to reach out to him, feel our two gifts coming together as we searched the space around us for Edward's presence. I needed to feel the bond, the draw that only Edward inspired and James' power could amplify. I wanted more proof I was heading in the right direction, even though it was with the wrong person.

I silently berated myself for not carrying my cell phone, not letting Rose and James know I had left. Not stopping to think about the people I would be leaving behind if this turned out to be a trick. How long would it take to realize I was gone? How long until they started looking for me? Hours? Days? James had once said he could track someone across the globe and back as long as he'd touched them, that there would be no way for them to avoid him. At that moment, in Edward's classic car barreling down an expressway away from the people who could help me, I could only hope he hadn't been exaggerating.

"You'll go north on thirty-one once we're in Michigan," Elizabeth said suddenly, startling me. "Until then, just stay on ninety-four."

I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye. She looked ten years older than when I'd seen her at Wrigley Field, and it wasn't just because of the worn and wrinkled clothing hanging from her frame. The lines around her eyes were dark against her pale skin, her lips more gray than pink. Her auburn hair hung greasy and limp, the unusual color streaked with gray. But it was her smell that really caught my attention.

The essence of thunder, the heavy scent that was the first part of her to greet me when I had met her in Chicago, was gone. All that remained was the slimy, sticky smell of snake oil . . . of dishonesty. Elizabeth had lost a part of herself. Perhaps she had lied too many times to really remember the truth, or perhaps she was feeling particularly defensive. The reason behind the change didn't matter; that the thought of her lying to me, of her not leading me to Edward, filled me with a rage unlike any I'd experienced.

The smell of ozone permeated the car as I struggled to hold my energy in check. My only comfort was the continual vibration in my abdomen, the one sign I had that I was moving toward Edward, not farther away from him. We were definitely headed in the right direction . . . for now.

"Eli doesn't know I've come to get you." Elizabeth's voice interrupted my thoughts, and the ozone scent faded as I concentrated on her words. "He's not going to be happy when he finds out, but I couldn't let him . . ." She shook her head as her voice grew softer, becoming almost more of a whisper. "It's already been too much."

The rising sun crested over a hill, burning my eyes with its golden glow. I pulled the visor down, staring at the picture clipped to the underside for what was probably an unsafe amount of time. The edges were worn and the colors faded, but the unmistakable faces of a toddler Edward sitting with his parents smiled back at me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Elizabeth turn toward me. I quickly flipped the visor back up and squinted into the sun. It felt like a betrayal, proving to her that Edward still cared enough to keep that little memento clipped there.

"He owned me from the moment we met," she said after a few moments of silence, turning to look out the passenger side window at the trees whipping past. "I was already twisting fate to find Edward's father, but the second I met him, I knew he was my destiny."

She choked out a quiet laugh and shook her head a bit. "Esme knew, too. After she left that stupid farm boy behind, she traveled with Eli and me as we worked our way toward where we knew the latest Masen lived. I never told her exactly what I was doing, but I knew she had to see the path rolling out in front of me. Her gift isn't as strong as mine, but she had to have seen."

The bitter essence of regret flashed through the car, and I wondered what part of her story brought it out. Did she regret marrying her Edward? Not marrying the other man who was obviously her fíorghrá? Lying to her sister? Did she regret bringing a child into a life built on deception? For just a moment, I almost cared . . . but then I thought about Edward's face as he told me his own mother hadn't touched him in nearly a decade, and the brick wall went back up around my heart.

I could not let Elizabeth worm her way in.

"On the day I finally met Edward, I told everyone that he was my fíorghrá, but Esme knew it was a lie. As soon as she'd heard his last name, she knew it was something other than love I was after. She never said anything, but I knew she didn't agree with my choices. She'd just spent months running away from her own fíorghrá; she certainly wouldn't have agreed with me marrying someone other than my own soul mate. She probably would have told me to just settle down with Eli and live a happy, little carnie life . . . but I wanted more. We both did."

I didn't reply, didn't even move my eyes away from the smoky-colored highway cutting a path through the green growth around us. I couldn't risk her changing her mind and not taking me to Edward. If she felt like monologueing the important moments of her existence, I'd sit quietly and pretend to give a shit, no matter how difficult it became.

For Edward. Everything had to be for my Edward.

"Esme and I learned about the Masen men when we were still in diapers – the gifts they controlled, the fact that there had never been a Masen daughter, the tragic ends they all met. To meet Edward that day . . . to feel the power flowing through him and know how I could take advantage of it . . . it was all I'd ever wanted. And Eli was right there with me, helping me find the path to convince Edward he was my one true love. That fucking tattoo hid most of his future from me, be Eli tweaked and strengthened the bond between us until Edward truly believed he just couldn't live without me. Eli was able to make the idiot feel that pull of meeting their other half."

I bristled at her insult of Edward's dad but remained quiet. The telltale rustle of fabric told me she was moving in her seat, but I concentrated on the road ahead.

"You know the draw I'm talking about," she said, anger lacing every word. "You've claimed to feel it for my son." I glanced in her direction. Her eyes were shrewd, her face hard as she turned to face me. I looked away quickly, returning my eyes to the road ahead and offering no acknowledgement.

She continued to stare. The heat of her gaze burned into the side of my face, trying to somehow penetrate into my mind. I was surprised she hadn't tried to touch me yet, hadn't taken advantage of our proximity to use her gift on me and, therefore, Edward.

As much as I wanted to believe I would have done my best to keep her from gaining that kind of access to our future, I knew I'd let her touch me if she tried. If it meant getting Edward back, I'd do whatever she wanted.

For Edward. Anything for Edward.

"Masen men aren't supposed to find their fíorghrás – it upsets the balance."

My heart raced as I waited for her to finish that thought. All the talk of the "Masen men," the legends and rumors – she knew the answers. She knew about Edward's ancestors and their untimely deaths, knew about the tattoo and the reason why his father would have wanted him to have it so young. Maybe if I just kept quiet, she would–

"You've tricked him . . . ensnared him somehow," she spit, anger flaring around her in a wave. "The Masen blood in him should have made him run away from you, yet he stayed. He has fought to keep you close, to protect you, and all for what? For you to fail at protecting him when he needed it the most."

My stomach dropped at her words, and my eyes burned with the sting of unshed tears. I'd failed him . . . in more ways than she knew. But I was going to save him now; I was going to get him back. And when I did, I was never going to let go of him again . . . not for a single second.

I watched from the corner of my eye as she looked me up and down, her pale lips pursed. I couldn't wipe away the tears clinging to my lashes, but I could refuse to look at her, to give her the satisfaction of knowing how hard her words hit home.

"All those years of being careful," she murmured, still watching me. "All the years of not touching him, so I could hide his future from the little freak – wasted."

Her stormy scent grew deeper, weighted by anger and frustration. Yet there was also a hint of concern in there, and I clung to that knowledge as I finally broke my silence.

"I never tricked him. I just . . . loved him."

She made a dismissive noise, similar to a snort. "No one loves a Masen. People love the power they give off or the opportunities the Masen gifts can give them, but the men themselves stay separate, insulated by their abilities."

I shook my head, still watching the road slide underneath us. "Edward isn't gifted."

Her laugh exploded out of her chest, almost vibrating the air with its volume. "You still don't know, do you?"

I glanced at her but quickly looked back to the road. Answers . . . I needed answers, even if they were hard to hear.

"Edward is just as gifted as his father, as all of the Masen men. For generations, they have been a tease to the rest of us – having the power to control the gifts of others, yet never living long enough to truly take advantage of it. I wanted Edward to live up to his potential, to surround himself with powerful, gifted people he could manipulate to do what he wanted, and in the end, what I wanted. But his father had to go and put a damper on my plans with that cursed tattoo." She huffed and adjusted in her seat. "And after everything I did to keep the man alive as long as I did."

"You kept him. . . " I wanted to say more, to ask what she meant by "kept him alive," but somewhere deep down I already knew. The understanding of what she'd done, what she'd allowed to happen, chilled me all the way down to my very soul.

"Of course I kept him alive, you ridiculous girl." She sounded overly confident, arrogant as she berated me. "My gift is powerful, second only to that of a Masen, and it always has been. His tattoo hid a lot of his future from me, but the larger events got through. And death is really the largest event of all, isn't it?"

She chuckled quietly, the sound making goose bumps rise along my arms. If it wasn't for Edward, I probably would have pulled the car over and demanded she get out. I'd heard enough of her voice to last me a lifetime. But I couldn't. I had to keep driving, letting her lead me away from the people who would protect me.

For Edward. All for Edward.

"Every time I saw my husband's death, I shifted things – altered decisions until the vision disappeared. I needed him to train our son on the Masen legacy, on how his gift worked and the ways to control it. But when I realized Edward would never do it, would hide our son's true power from him, I let fate do what it had wanted to do for years."

"And you almost killed your son." The words were out of my mouth before I had a chance to think, before I could stop them. Elizabeth spun in her seat, the spicy scent of anger overwhelming in the small space.

"He wasn't supposed to be in the car," she spat angrily, her voice dark. "I spent years not touching him, avoiding every possible contact, so my love's brother wouldn't see him, and in the end that protection almost cost me my son. My Edward didn't understand. I tried to tell him, to warn him, but he never fucking listened. He refused to admit the truth, that there is nothing more dangerous than the anger of a patient man."

Edward's voice invaded my thoughts, a memory from months back, a whispered confession of sorts.

_Coimhéad fearg fhear na foighde_

I thought back to the story Edward had told me of the night his father died. How his mother seemed so upset, how she kept repeating that he wasn't supposed to be in the car, the warning of the anger of a patient man, the way she grabbed . . .

"You touched him that night," I whispered, still caught up in my memories. "He said you grabbed his face – you knew he was going to meet me, didn't you?"

She stared for a long moment, silently watching me as I drove the car across the Michigan border. "Yes, I knew. That tattoo of his is more restrictive than his father's was, but I still see flashes now and again. I saw him meet you . . . saw the two of you together. I thought you were a summer fling for him, but then you came to Chicago and we all got to see that pretty red thread tying you to Edward." She turned to stare out the passenger window once more, her voice much softer as she said, "They'd always been interested in my children, not just because of the Masen gift, but also because of mine. My pregnancies had them practically salivating. Without Esme and my ability to block the little freak, they would have taken them both."

I drove on, confused and more than a little scared of her revelations. Plural – she used plural terms. Pregnancies. Children. Both.

Did Edward have a sibling? Was there another Masen man out there, unprotected?

"When they figured out what it meant for a Masen to find his soul mate," Elizabeth continued, once again interrupting my wandering thoughts and forcing my focus back to her, "they became absolutely obsessed. I didn't realize it at first, that day in Chicago. I didn't think Eli would let them hurt my son."

Grief. It permeated the air. Yellowed newspaper with a floral edge . . . just like dead flowers. A feeling of dread pinned me to my seat, pushing on my chest and forcing my breath out in a whoosh.

"What have they done to him?"

She sighed and rested her forehead against the glass to her right. "You'll find out soon enough."

**xXxXx**

We didn't speak much the rest of the way. I drove north along Lake Michigan, past dunes and small tourist towns. When we arrived in Holland, Elizabeth directed me onto smaller dirt roads cutting through forests of trees. The Mustang jerked and jolted along the rutted paths, but the wheels kept spinning, as if the car hoped as much as I did that we'd find our Edward at the end.

When the road morphed into two lines of sand cutting through a sea of tall grass, Elizabeth told me to stop the car. With a sudden twist, she grabbed my face between her hands and rested her forehead against mine. The energy in the car spiked and swirled, pulsing against my skin as something pushed and prodded at my head. The sounds of our breathing grew loud, almost deafening in the continual push and pull as she clung to me. The scents and energy around me shifted so fast it was hard to catch their meaning. Honey and grief, concern and lime, lightning and tears – they swelled and ebbed as her fingers tightened, her breathing becoming irregular.

And then, with nothing more than a sigh and a final jolt of the stale scent of defeat, she released me and opened the passenger door.

"Half a mile north along the beach you'll come to a cluster of old cabins. There's a path through the woods behind the third one, just look for the footprints that disappear into the grass. It's tricky to find, but it'll lead you the rest of the way into the camp. Don't leave here until the gloaming hour – you'll want to be in the woods before the sun sets." She stepped outside as I scrambled out of the car, suddenly terrified of being left here.

"Where are you–"

"I wasn't a good mother to him," she said suddenly, not meeting my eyes. "I did my best, but it's not what I ever wanted, especially not with Edward's dad. Focusing on my gift, the power I had over people's lives, the comforting security of being on the road and surrounded by my own kind – that was the life for me. I never should have thought I was stronger than that damned curse, stronger than all the women who tried before me. But Eli talked me into getting pregnant with Edward, convinced me my gift and the Masen's would make an unstoppable force."

She glanced over, her eyes hard and her face showing every single line and crease of a woman who'd lived through hardship. "I let my need for power push me into a life with a husband I didn't love and a child I didn't want, all for the possibility of controlling the Masen gift . . . or curse, as it truly seems now. I put my own son in unthinkable danger. But I didn't make that mistake the next time. And now . . ." she paused and took a deep breath, shaking her head. "I won't let them end my son's life. For once, I'll do what's right for him . . . even if it means the end of everything."

I stared at her, seeing the resignation on her face, the surrender in the slouch of her shoulders. In less than a second, I realized I was no longer looking at a woman fighting for something. This was a woman giving up. She'd made her choice, and with her gift and the knowledge of my future, she already knew the outcome of that action. She was sacrificing herself . . . for Edward.

"You can stay with me. We'll get him out together." My voice sounded foreign to my ears: deep and thick. As much as I wanted to hate Elizabeth Masen, as much as I had over the course of my knowing Edward, I had to respect the love of a mother finally overriding the selfishness she'd wrapped herself in for the majority of her life.

A life that could possibly be ending tonight.

She shook her head and turned to walk away. "If I stay, he dies. If I help, he dies. If I . . . if I even attempt to say goodbye, he dies." She glanced over her shoulder, that auburn hair - so like Edward's - whipping around her face in the breeze. "You're his only hope, his only chance, and even that's not guaranteed. Choose your path carefully and commit to your actions. When the time comes, don't hesitate, and you'll both be okay."

"Don't hesitate with what?" I asked as she turned and walked into the tall grass, almost completely hidden in the blades. "I don't know what to do!"

"You will." Her disembodied voice floated back to me, the creepiness of knowing she was out there yet unseen making me shiver in fear. "You're the only one that can do it, though. You're the only one that can save him. The others will try, but it's all about you . . . it's always been more about the women surrounding the Masen men than the men themselves. You're the first Masen fíorghrá in five generations; the rest of us have all been nothing but liars and con artists." Her voice grew quieter as she obviously moved away from me, and I strained at the edge of the grass to hear what else she had to say. "You have a link to him more powerful than any gift out there. Use that bond to your advantage; use it to get to him. Just follow the thread."

Within seconds of those words, the only sound around me was the gentle whisper of the wind through the grass. No footfalls, no birds, no roll of waves on the beach . . . just a rustling that left me feeling alone and helpless. I had no phone, no way to reach anyone. I was supposed to sit here for the next ten hours or so, go north, find the path . . . and then what?

_No doubts, chéadsearc._

Edward's voice in my head calmed me almost instantly, pulling me back to my center and allowing me to breathe normally. It wasn't so much words as a resonance, a feeling of sound moving through me. He was with me, his spirit tied to mine. And I had to stay calm if I was going to keep it that way.

I sat in the sand at the side of the car, taking advantage of the shade thrown off by the grass. I had no food, but there was a beach nearby, which meant water. I'd just sit in the shade for the rest of the day and wait for the sun to begin its descent. I'd reach out for Edward and take comfort in his presence. And when the time was right, I'd find my way back to him and get him out.

I had to.

**xXxXx**

On my fourth trip back from the shoreline, just as the sun began to drop into the west, I noticed something unusual. Nothing appeared off – no telltale tracks in the sand or smells of someone nearby – but I could feel a presence in the area. Something unexpected and intrusive, yet it was nothing I could pinpoint. I ducked into the tall grass and moved carefully toward the Mustang, trying to hide the sound of my approach in the rustling of the wind. I weaved through the forest of green, my eyes straining to see through the blades, my ears listening for the slightest sound of . . . anything.

I was almost even with the front bumper when I caught the lightest whiff of something on the air. I froze and crouched lower, breathing deeply and focusing my senses on the world around me. Something warm and familiar seeped into the area . . . something comforting.

Tea and bergamot.

"James," I said quietly. My emotions battled inside of me – hope and fear fighting to overtake the other. I knew I could be wrong, that someone else could have the same comforting aroma around them as the tracker, but I doubted it. That smell, in this place, had to mean he'd followed me here. I waited for a response or a sign of movement, but after several minutes, I began to think I'd been mistaken.

Until I heard the rumble of a large vehicle coming toward me.

I stepped out from the grass and behind the Mustang just in time to see a black Hummer break through the grass to the southeast. The Hummer stopped within inches of the driver's side door, dwarfing Edward's muscle car.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I swear on everything I own, will ever own, and could ever own – if you ever disappear like that again, I am hunting you down and kicking your ass!" Rose jumped down from the driver's seat of the behemoth vehicle, her blonde hair pulled back into a harsh ponytail.

"And gee, thanks for making the hunting down so easy," a familiar voice came from behind me. I spun and watched as James appeared from the tree line. "Could you have found a more remote area to disappear to? If it wouldn't have taken us about three hours longer, I would have just taken a boat."

The sound of multiple doors slamming made me turn back toward the Hummer. The sight that met me nearly made me fall to my knees in relief and fear.

Rose, Alice, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle . . . even Caius.

"You all came," I whispered, the tears I fought making my voice scratchy and deep.

Esme stepped forward first and wrapped her arms around me. "Of course we did. We would never make you face something like this alone." She leaned back, her palms sliding onto my cheeks, her hazel eyes staring into mine with a knowledge that made my heart race.

"You saw this coming."

She didn't give any indication of her affirmation, but I knew I was right. Her energy was agitated, her face filled with a surety I could only hope for. She knew Elizabeth would be coming for me, knew I'd have to find my way to Edward in order to help him. And she knew I'd need help to do it.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"I didn't see this, Bella. Alice did."

I glanced over Esme's shoulder and locked eyes with my best friend. She looked so tired – black circles under her eyes, her skin a sallow, gray tone. But even as exhausted as she must have been, she stood strong, determined . . . confident.

I backed out of Esme's grasp and stepped toward Alice slowly. She didn't move forward, didn't smile or say anything. She simply stared, our eyes saying more in those few seconds than our words ever could.

"You're here," I whispered when I was close enough to touch her. The scent of citrus and spice wrapped around me, calming me in a way only Alice could. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed her until that moment.

"I saw you dead," she replied, the shake in her voice belying the confidence she was trying to exhibit. "No visions for months, then all of a sudden you're in my head. I woke up from a sound sleep, screaming. Poor Jas almost had a heart attack," she said as she glanced at Jasper. He reached out to hold her hand, the pull between them tickling along my skin and making me smile.

The haunted look in her eyes when she turned back to me wiped the smile right off my lips.

"The path is not decided upon," she said, her eyes unfocused, her voice that of someone I didn't know. "If you do nothing, he dies. If you go in alone, you both die. If we go with you . . ."

She didn't complete her sentence, but I knew what she was telling me. All the little variables of the confrontation that was to come – the decision to turn left instead of right, to press forward instead of pausing – each one could alter the course of the fight. There was a chance someone from our side wouldn't be coming home.

I started to shake my head, not wanting any of my friends or family to be in danger, but Carlisle interrupted me.

"We all know the risks, Bella. We're here to help you and Edward, no matter what." He and Esme both wrapped an arm around me as I watched the others line up near the Hummer. I was so glad to see them, so thankful they came - yet at the same time, I was terrified for what could go wrong this evening.

"Your mom and dad will be here in a few minutes," Caius said, standing as far from James as he possibly could. "They'll stay here with the cars and medical supplies just in case. The rest of us will go with you to the camp. We'll travel together, we'll fight together, and we'll get Edward out together." His voice grew stronger on every "together," emphasizing the need to work as a team. I silently wondered how far that opinion would go if it was James that ended up at risk.

"You don't have to do this alone," Jasper said, his drawling voice quiet but firm.

Rose simply stared at me, the hurt and anger she felt a bitter combination on the air around me. Finally, she nodded once and looked behind her at the falling sun. "I understand why you left with her," she turned back and glared at me, "but tonight isn't about being the hero. It's about family and friends and sticking together." She walked toward me slowly, watching me the entire time. When she finally reached me she paused, then threw her arms around me and pulled me close. "Don't be too stubborn to let us help you."

I nodded into her shoulder as my tears finally fell. The weight of the day pulled on me, but I couldn't give into it, couldn't show a single weakness. It was almost time to leave for the camp, and we needed to put a plan together. Before I could voice my thoughts, though, Esme took over.

"How about we let Bella eat a little something while Caius goes over what he knows about this camp? She looks like she's about to fall over." She patted my back and stepped toward the Hummer as everyone else broke into small groups and began talking together.

Bits of conversation floated back to me – armed, not armed, guards, dogs, fires, multiple buildings, strong gifts – but nothing they said mattered. After hearing Alice's visions, there wasn't anything that could make me refuse their help. Because overpowering everyone's individual perfume - hiding the scents of fear and nervousness, the energy of anxiety and resolve - was something I'd been missing for weeks.

Warm caramel and rain drifted by, carried on a breeze of hope. I caught James' stare as I inhaled deeply. He nodded once as if reading my mind. My love was close – near enough for him to feel without us touching, sharing the bond. My resolve strengthened; my will hardening into something impenetrable. I couldn't get this close to Edward and then abandon him. If Alice was right, if the only possible way to help was to work as a team, then that's what we'd do.

We would go into that camp and get Edward out. No doubts.

**xXxXx**

"The leader of this group is Eleazar Gutierrez. He and his brother, Aromondo, run a small-time carnival to look legit, but their real business is fencing stolen goods and running underground freak shows." Caius stood before us, dressed all in black. He looked exactly like the soldier he had once been . . . strong, confident and dangerous. I was glad he was on my side.

"The men have two other siblings – a set of twin girls." He looked directly at me as he uttered his next sentence. "Their maternal grandmother and her sister were a well known sponge and shield pair."

Rose glanced at me as I nodded. So that was it – one of those two had broken into my trailer, into Edward's condo. They had invaded our privacy and put us in danger. They probably thought they had won when they were able to take Edward from me.

Caius looked around the group again. "Eleazar is strong but mentally unstable. He can sense the gifts people have, so he'll know any and all of your tricks. You can't rely on your gifts to help you, especially you two." He pointed at Jasper and Rosalie, and they nodded in response. "There have been rumors romantically linking Eleazar and Elizabeth Masen for years, though I could find nothing to substantiate the claims."

"She calls him Eli," I said quietly, but of course he heard me. "When we were in the car, she called him Eli. And if it's the man I'm thinking of, he calls her Libby."

Caius pulled his cell phone from his pocket and moved toward me, tapping away at the screen the entire time. "Do you recognize anyone here?"

He turned the phone so I could see it, a picture of three men and four women looking back at me. I immediately pointed to one of the men.

"That's the guy that called her Libby – we ran into him in Chicago. He was the one that said Edward and I were red threads; in fact, he sounded pretty shocked that a Masen had found his." I looked at the others on the screen for a moment before moving my finger to the right. "And this is the other guy that was with him, though he was quite a bit thinner when I saw him."

Caius pointed a thick finger at the screen. "That's Eleazar there, and the other one is his brother. Aromondo's been sick for a couple of years – some type of cancer or something – so I imagine he'd look a little different from this picture. He reads thoughts through touch, though his gift is weak. I really don't think he'll be too much of a threat. These two," he pointed to two of the women, both tall and dark haired, both beautiful, "are their sisters. Renata is the oldest by a matter of minutes and the one I believe is the shield. The one with the birthmark on her arm is Chelsea, the sponge."

"Who are the others?" Rose asked while looking over my shoulder.

"The skinny blonde is Aromondo's daughter, Jane. Supposedly, she is non-gifted but has a mean streak a mile wide. The older guy is Jane's husband, Marcus. He can see the bonds between people and manipulate them. Rumor has it he can make you hate your own mother, so we'll need to worry about him."

"Who else is in the camp?" Jasper asked.

Caius shrugged as he turned toward his son. "We can't be sure. Their carnival's currently in Wisconsin, and both freak shows are running over in Pennsylvania, so there shouldn't be too many people. We may not even have the entire Gutierrez family to deal with, but there's no way to know for sure until we get inside."

"What do we know about Masen? Are we sure he's there?" Demetri asked, looking more like a cop than ever in his midnight blue cargo pants and t-shirt. He'd arrived with my mom and Phil, all three of them crowded into an old Jeep Wrangler.

"He's there," James said, glaring at the cop. "I feel him, and she feels him." He pointed at me quickly.

"You talked about the gifts of the people we're up against," Carlisle said, looking extraordinarily uncomfortable all of a sudden. "What about . . . all of you? Do any of you have gifts?"

There was a sudden vibration as people whispered back and forth. For some reason, it seemed wrong to admit our secrets to people outside the circle of our carnie family. Even after all this time . . . even though it was Carlisle, the man in love with one of our own.

Esme grabbed his hand and spoke first. "As you know, Alice and I are precogs. My visions of the future have always been like looking at a scrap book, small snapshots of time. Alice has only recently gotten her visions back after losing them for awhile, and they're much stronger than before." She glanced at her daughter, a look of worry hidden beneath a tight smile. "She doesn't just see pictures of the future; she sees the moments play out like a movie. It's very likely her gift is becoming much more powerful than mine."

Alice shrugged and looked around the group, a slight pink tingeing her cheeks.

"I can track people," James said, leaning against the bumper of the Hummer. "I get a bead on their energy, and I can follow it. Easier if I've touched them." He glanced at me and smiled.

"My sister and I can control emotions," Jasper said. "We can make people calm or amp them up, make them run away in terror or build up their confidence. It might come in handy."

"Eleazar will know what we can do," Rose said softly. "We need to be prepared to not use our gift at all. That might throw him." Everyone nodded as I looked toward the chief.

"I . . . I guess I can smell things other people can't." I chuckled as Demetri raised his eyebrows at me. "I can sense the essence of the people around me; smell the emotions and energy they give off. It's nothing worthwhile in a fight, but that's what I can do."

"She can also shock the hell out of you if you piss her off," Alice interjected.

"Shock how?" Demetri asked.

I shrugged. "I don't really know. I just feel the energy around me, and when it gets agitated, that translates into a large electrical shock being transferred from my body to whatever I happen to touch."

"She knocked Edward to his knees," Esme said, smiling.

"She melted the arms of a metal chair," Rose responded.

"Rose and I can work together sometimes, channel our gifts. It strengthens mine – makes the shock harder." I glanced around the group, not expecting to hear another voice speak out.

"I can see how truthful people are." My jaw dropped as Phil, the man I considered my dad, stood up and revealed what I'd never known. "Honesty has several levels, and each one is a corresponding color. There's no possible way to lie to me – even if you believe the words to be truthful, the aura I see will still shift in color to dishonesty."

Phil's admission was met with silence, even my mom appeared shocked. I had a feeling Phil was going to be doing a lot of explaining after all this was over. Finally, Demetri coughed, and we all turned our attention back to him.

"Do we have any idea on the layout of this place? Maps or pictures or anything?"

Caius shook his head. "We're going in completely blind here. This camp hasn't been open to the public in nearly a century, so who knows what we're going to find."

"I can't see the specifics of the camp," Alice interjected, her eyes unfocused. "I think there's more than one building, and we'll be in more than one fight, but the clips keep changing." She focused on Caius and frowned. "There's just too much unknown yet."

Caius smiled grimly at her, then looked up at the sky, the golden glow of the falling sun lighting up his face. "Unless there's anything else, I think it'd be best we started moving."

There was a murmur through the crowd as people began whispering to each other. I stood near the Mustang, separate but watching. Esme hugged Alice and kissed her head as Carlisle wrapped his arms around the two women. Jasper looked on, probably only half listening to whatever Demetri was saying to him. Rose and Caius walked toward the beach, his arm around her waist, her head on his shoulder. Father and daughter . . . taking one last moment to give each other the affection they each needed.

The scent of fresh cut grass and sunshine brushed past me seconds before two arms wrapped around me from behind. My mom and Phil moved to stand one on each side.

"I hate that I can't go in there with you," Phil said, his voice strained. I leaned into his arm, his shirt soft against my cheek.

"Just be ready for us when we get out. Edward may need . . ." I couldn't finish the sentence, the fear of what Edward had endured too overwhelming for me to think about. I took a deep breath as my mom squeezed me tighter, then stepped forward out of their hold. "Just be ready."

I smiled stiffly at my mom before walking toward the grass line in the direction of the lake. James' bergamot and tea smell trailed me the entire way, his energy almost completely calm as I put one foot in front of the other.

"We're not all coming back here, are we?" I whispered, knowing he would hear me. He came up behind me, his shoulder brushing mine.

"Probably not."

I looked out over the grass, seeing the stretch of pale sand leading into the dark blue of the lake. The wind blew through my hair and carried the familiar scents of my family and friends: orange and spice, leather and tobacco, mirepoix, bread and sage. I allowed myself one moment of dread, one second to realize how deeply the loss of any one of them would cut me, before I locked my fear away.

Then I turned to James and grabbed his hand, the bond between Edward and me immediately growing stronger, the thread pulling me north. James looked into my eyes for a moment – concern quickly morphing to acceptance. He gripped my hand tightly and took a deep breath as we stepped out of the grass and onto the sand.

"Let's go get my love."

**xXxXx**

The glow of sunset had faded to a gloomy gray by the time we reached the dilapidated cabins on the beach. I lead the way to the back of the third one, Caius and Jasper covering from each side so no one could sneak up. It took a few minutes, but I finally found the path leading through the grass and into the trees. The forest was dark by the time we all followed the trail, the leaves above blocking what little light remained in the sky.

It felt like we were walking into a nightmare.

Jasper and Caius directed us through the black, one on either side of the sandy path. Demetri trailed behind the rest of us, constantly looking over his shoulder to make sure we weren't being followed. Amazingly, we barely made a sound as we walked deeper into the forest, our steps muffled by the sand and soft earth. We reached a bend in the path and paused so Jasper could investigate what lay ahead. After a few tense moments, he hurried back to the group and signaled for us to huddle around him.

"There are three structures: a two-storied house, a good-sized barn, and a metal storage building. There are lights on in the last two, but none in the house." He paused and glanced between James and I. "If you can get close enough to see the buildings, do you think you'll be able to figure out which one they have Edward in?"

I shrugged and looked at James for guidance. He nodded and grabbed my hand as we followed Jasper through the underbrush. When we were close enough to see the buildings, James pulled me into his arms and leaned his cheek against mine.

"It's not going to be easy since the buildings are so close together," he whispered into my ear, his warm breath tickling along my skin. "Concentrate on your bond . . . feel the pull of that thread. Give into it fully, and we should be able to get a bead on him."

I closed my eyes and did as he said, sinking into his arms. His hold was strong, so reminiscent of the way Edward held me when we kissed. Caramel and rain slammed into my senses as the tug I felt in my abdomen grew. It was more than a pull, more than just a sense of my love's nearness . . . it was gravity.

James whispered urgently to Jasper, the hissing sound of tumbled vowels and consonants attacking my ears. I caught the words _Edward _and _metal_, but I couldn't concentrate enough to understand. All I knew, all I felt, was the absolute need to surrender to the force pulling me farther ahead. Nothing else mattered, and nothing would be able to stand in my way. My fíorghrá was near – he needed me, he felt my presence as strongly as I felt his, he wanted–

_Tá mo chroí istigh ionat_

I gasped and opened my eyes as James jumped away from me in surprise.

"He knows we're here." My voice was quite yet firm, filled with surprise. James nodded once, his eyes locked on mine.

"Who knows?" Jasper asked, looking between the two of us.

"Edward," James said, still staring. "He feels her here."

Jasper whistled softly, then motioned for James and I to follow him back to the others. James grabbed my hand and held me back for a moment, allowing for a modicum of privacy.

"I've never . . ." He blew out a breath and squeezed my hand. "You are both very lucky to feel what you do. I've never felt a bond like that between people. Not family, not married couples – there's something really special between you two."

I looked into his ice-blue eyes and said the only words that mattered, the only explanation I had. "He's my love."

James smiled softly and kissed my cheek. "Then he is the luckiest man on the planet. Or at least he will be once we get him out of there."

James and I quickly joined the others just in time to hear Caius quietly issue our orders.

"Rose and Esme will go with Demetri to secure the house. It appears to be empty, but if you happen to run into anyone, use your Tasers to incapacitate them, then secure them with the zip-ties. Jasper, Carlisle, and Alice will do the same in the barn. Incapacitate, secure, and move on. James, Bella, and I will take the building where Edward is. Once the other two are secure, both teams should meet us in the final building for retrieval."

He looked at each of us in turn, and I followed his stare as it moved around the group. Almost my entire world was in the woods here or back at our vehicles. If we lost . . . if we didn't get Edward and make it out of here, it would be the end of me.

"Nobody tries to be the hero here," Caius continued after a few tense seconds of silence. "We're a team, and we need to work together as one. We're not here to kill, but if the situation becomes one-of-them or one-of-us, Jasper, Demetri, and I are prepared to do whatever it takes to make sure every one of you gets out safely." He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close, Rose on his other side. "I have just as much to lose here as anyone, maybe more. And I'm giving you my solemn promise," he looked straight at James, "we go in together, we come out together. No one gets left behind."

The two men stared at each other for a long moment, the fragrances of guilt and anger, regret and rage fading into the background. Some kind of truce had been reached, though no words had been exchanged.

"Let's move out, folks. We meet in the metal building, and we all go back to the base together." Jasper took control as his dad continued to stare at the man that almost cost him his family. Finally, James nodded once, and Caius looked away, eyes shining even in the low light of the forest.

The groups scattered, each heading toward their assigned destination. I followed Caius as he crept around the edge of the clearing where the buildings stood, James trailing behind me. The back of the building rested a few feet from the edge of the tree line. I understood immediately that Caius brought us around to this side to keep us out of the open for as long as possible.

Directly in front of us was a door into the building. There were no windows, no way to know what we would be walking into when we opened that door, but there was also no choice not to proceed. Edward was in there. I knew it in my heart, felt it all the way into my soul.

Caius stepped forward quietly as James and I followed, hunched over in the darkness, trying to be as invisible as possible. He brought one hand up to the door knob and turned slowly. Time weighed on me, a physical force pushing me into the ground, restraining me. Every nerve ending burned with anticipation, adrenaline flowing through my veins. My eyes darted around the dark scene in front of me as I looked for signs of trouble, but the night revealed nothing.

Caius' wrist turned minutely, an indication that the door was unlocked, right as I realized how wrong this entire scenario was. There was no noise, no sound of animals or insects moving through the area. The trees blocked the breeze blowing in off the lake, yet I felt a tickle along my skin, a whisper of something unknown.

I took a deep breath, expecting bergamot and gunpowder, tea and winter laced with the pine and dirt around us. What I got instead was a faded bouquet of storms and honeysuckle, pewter and saccharine. Before I could warn the other two, my sense of smell disappeared, leaving me feeling off-balance and isolated.

"Void," I whispered right as Caius pushed the door open. What greeted us in that room was the stuff of nightmares, of horror movies and urban legends. Edward hung against the far wall, his arms over his head, a chain wrapped round his wrists. Blood covered his chest and back, darkening the waistband of his jeans and pooling at his bare feet. He didn't raise his head as we entered, didn't even move as the door slammed into the wall with a resounding crash.

Between us and Edward stood the Gutierrez clan. Eleazar stood to the front, his bronze skin and dark hair glowing even in the dim light. His brother Aromondo looked like a smaller, paler version of the man. I recognized them as the two I'd seen with Elizabeth outside Wrigley Field, but the rest of the group I only knew from the photograph Caius had shown me earlier. Jane, small and blonde with beady eyes and an air of hatred, her husband Marcus appearing at least twenty years her senior. Renata and Chelsea, the twins, the shield and the sponge. They didn't look all that much alike except for the glare in their brown eyes and the frown on their red lips.

And kneeling in front of them all was Elizabeth, her body battered and her clothing stained with blood just like her son's. Jane jumped forward and kicked the subjugated figure hard, foot colliding with shoulder. Elizabeth grunted and fell to the side as Eleazar walked forward.

"Finally! Our guests have arrived, Libby. Just like you promised they would."

.

.

.


	29. Is liomsa mo ghrá

I own nothing but an Eeyore mug filled with tea.

* * *

.

Fight or flight. A primal response to external stimuli, forcing you to choose between aggression and defensiveness. Since time began, most living creatures have been saddled with this natural defense mechanism. It knocks out reason, separates the thinking processes in your brain from the ones controlling your actions. All those years of self-defense training, those hours spent planning for a dangerous situation, become moot. There's nothing left but the true test of your character . . .

Run and hide, or stand and battle.

My mind was empty, focus locked on the man hanging by his wrists across the room. Even my awareness of my own body was dim. Was my heart racing from fear or from the adrenaline flooding my bloodstream? Was my stomach knotted because of the panic clawing at my mind as I stared at my lover, so obviously in pain, or was it because my body was locking down in preparation for a fight? Was the numbness creeping along my nerve endings of my own making or something worse . . . something outside my control?

_"Familial, almost fatherly to the girl. But you have no bond to our Edward." _

Words were spoken - at me? About me? But it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Not the people arguing back and forth, not the tension smothering everyone in the metal hell, not the niggling feeling in my head that someone was pulling strings within me I wasn't even aware I had. Nothing mattered but saving Edward.

I moved without thought, without effort, across a sea of gray. The pull to my fíorghrá overrode every other impulse. Leaving him behind to save myself was simply not a possibility.

Twelve feet away - the reality of the metal building dissolved behind me. The people vanished; the tension fell to the wayside.

Five feet away - there was only him and me, alone in a world of sweet words and soft touches, my memories replacing the horrific scene I walked into.

One foot away - caramel and vanilla, layered with the crisp scent of spring rain, bathed me, danced around me, telling me in my gift's subtle way that this man, this damaged but strong man who made me smile so effortlessly, was all I needed to survive. He wasn't just worth fighting for — he _was_ my fight.

_"Interesting connection. I wonder how Edward would feel having to share his lover with another man."_

My hand rose of its own volition, reaching for the pale skin I knew so well. His face felt cold to the touch, much colder than a healthy man should be. I followed the silver-webbing of scars across his forehead, over his cheekbone, down along his chin. Whispered touches to remind me, remind him, of our love, of our bond.

My hand shook as I inventoried the damage lower on his body, the sticky blood along his chest making my fingers drag and stutter. The cuts were not nearly as deep as I would have assumed, only enough to break the skin along the black design embedded there. The edges were ragged and swollen, the flesh underneath exposed. The thought of the pain he must have suffered pushed me closer to the edge of an emotional cliff I refused to fall over. I couldn't cry . . . wouldn't. Not yet, not when he needed me to be strong. Not when he needed me to be brave.

Not when he needed me to keep him alive.

_"The women control the power; we just have to figure out how."_

My love was my only point of focus. The people standing behind me were nothing more than a murmur in my ear as they argued and yelled. My name echoed - once, twice – as heavy footfalls made the floor vibrate. I didn't answer, didn't bother to respond. My Edward hung in front of me . . . bleeding, unconscious, possibly dying. He needed me. He needed all of me.

_"We've tried everything else. It has to be her. Bella's the key."_

Very slowly, I pressed my body against Edward's, squatting low at the knees then rising to hold him up, supporting his weight. The chains rattled above us, the scrape of metal on metal ominous and terrifying in a slasher-movie kind of way. I closed my eyes and counted to ten, locking my legs and knees when I reached eight. Instead of giving in to my fear, I wrapped my arms tighter around Edward's waist and breathed through it. I could not surrender. I could not let my fear break my focus.

He needed me. And I knew, I understood, that to make it out of this place alive, I needed him just as much.

_"Move them into the barn. She can stay here with him until I figure out what we need to do next."_

Time flowed in a haze of Edward, his body against mine, his weight a welcomed strain on my hips and legs, his minute movements as he breathed shallow and slow a reminder of his strength. I braced myself and held tight, ignoring the burn in my muscles and the clenching in my gut. He would be fine . . . I would get him out of here, and he would be fine.

Minutes or hours passed — I had no idea — but something unexpected broke through my focus. A draft of cold air brushed against my arms, followed by the sound of the chains moving and a warm body pressing against my shoulder as more noises came from above. I didn't look up, just buried my face in Edward's chest and gripped his body, willing him to wake, praying silent words of healing and sanctuary.

"Step back, Bella."

I inhaled against Edward's skin, the vanilla and caramel a comfort, the metallic scent of blood simultaneously distressing. My arms burned hotter, the muscles screaming at me to ease up, let go, but I couldn't release him. I couldn't falter. He had no strength left within him, so I had to bolster it, give him my strength. I'd give him anything, give up anything, if he'd only open his eyes. If he'd just . . .

Unfamiliar hands pressed against my upper arms, pulling me, trying to take me away from Edward. "Step back and help him down, Bella. I've released the chain; you can let him go now."

Anger flared within me, bright and red behind my eyes. The voice, though familiar, didn't register; the touch of the person behind me didn't help me identify them. I shook my head against Edward's neck, concentrating on his smell, as the words rattled about in my head. _Let__him__go__now__.__.__.__you__can__let__him__go__now._

"C'mon, Bella. Just a little step back. You have to let him go."

Rage exploded from my chest, my fear and pain white hot as it blazed under my skin. There was no tickle of warning, no scent of ozone or conscious decision to pull energy toward me. One second I was standing half underneath Edward, holding him up, supporting his weight with my body as someone tried to pull me away from him. The next second a bright light encompassed me, an unfamiliar heat in my arms . . .

And a scream coming from behind me.

"Jesus, puddin'. Ya think you could knock off the pyrotechnics for just a fucking second before you deep-fry the big lug?"

The voice caressed my senses, familiar and safe. I turned my head just enough to see behind me. The shoulder of the man grabbing me blocked part of my view, but I'd have known that blonde and red hair anywhere. I'd have recognized those tattoos from across a crowd.

"Tanya?" My voice grated against my dry throat, scratchy and rough. I closed my eyes and swallowed in spite of the burn, still holding Edward, still glowing.

"It's me, Bella." She glanced away before turning those blue eyes back in my direction. "Can you . . . do you know how to turn it off? I know you're mad, but you really need to turn off the electrical thing so we can help Emmett."

"Emmett?"

"Yeah, puddin'. Just relax, okay. Calm down a bit. No one's going to touch Edward. We're here to help you."

The light around me dimmed as I listened to her, trusting her. Edward's weight seemed to increase, and my right foot slipped as I braced against it.

"Edward's hurt . . . I have to—"

Tanya nodded and slowly reached for me. "I know, Bella. Emmett got the chain off his wrists right before you started with the whole shock-and-awe thing. Calm down a bit more so he can let go of you, then we'll help you get Edward on the floor, okay? Just relax a little more."

My pulse slowed, and my breathing evened out as I stared into her blue eyes. When the light surrounding me dimmed and finally extinguished, she finished reaching forward and yanked Emmett's hands from my arms, guiding him to the floor at her feet. In another second she stood next to me, helping me do the same with Edward until the four of us lay on the concrete floor.

Emmett groaned from his position behind Tanya, and she rolled her eyes. "I tried to tell him not to touch you. You were absolutely vibrating with defensive energy when we walked in here." She glanced behind her and smoothed the hair from Emmett's forehead. Something in the way she touched him, in the way the tension in her shoulders eased as her fingers met his skin, told me more about their relationship than any words ever could. The expression on her face as she turned back toward me, before she even knew I was watching her, was the same one I wore whenever I looked at Edward.

Tanya was in love with Emmett.

"He never wanted to hurt you, you know?" she said, still not meeting my eyes. "He just wanted to help."

The expression on her face when she finally turned all the way around, the utter sadness radiating from her, left me wondering if she was thinking more of the past than the present. I wasn't sure if her comment about Emmett only wanting to help was about him grabbing me in this building or what he'd done to push Edward out of the carnival, about the fight, and the way he influenced his father to believe his lies. Either way, I wasn't ready to deal with those emotions I. He'd hurt us, hurt my Edward, and that was an unforgivable act in my mind.

"He's so pale," I whispered, turning back to stare at Edward, choosing to ignore the tension around me. I trailed my fingers along the mangled tattoo encircling his chest. Whole sections were missing, cut away, as if they'd tried to skin him alive. As if they tried to remove the ink from his body.

"We don't have much time, Bella."

I met Tanya's eyes and saw fear there, right on the edge of panic, and a determination that took my breath away. She was the epitome of courageous . . . terrified but acting in spite of it, a warrior in high heels and false eyelashes. She was here to help, and my own panic lessened as I stared.

One deep breath and a final silent prayer for a safe resolution before I whispered, "Time for what?"

She pulled a wide, purple length of ribbon from her back pocket and wove it between her fingers. "To wake up your fíorghrá and get you two married."

I gaped, convinced I'd misheard the words she spoke. "What was that?"

Emmett groaned again and struggled to sit, dragging my attention away from Tanya.

"It's not the women who are the key," Emmett said, his voice barely more than whisper. "It's the wives. Someone skipped a word when the legends were translated back in the eighteenth century. Bhean chéile became bhean, which changed the entire focus of the story. It took me forever to figure out what you needed to do to become the one responsible for the gadái described in the old legends."

"Married? Gadái?" I whispered again, my hand clinging to Edward's. Tanya gave me a thin smile and nodded while Emmett dropped his head into his hands and mumbled to himself.

"I think you fried my brain and my ass, Bellsabubb," he said at last, just loud enough for me to hear. The familiarity of Emmett's ridiculous nicknames for me made my heart clench, made me remember his kindness and friendship, but I zapped up a wall against those memories.

"You deserved it."

Tanya looked ready to argue, but at that moment Edward moaned and his eyelids fluttered.

"Edward? A stór?" I whispered as I leaned over him, my nose brushing along his, hands cupping his face. "Come back to me, my love. Wake up, and open your eyes. I'm here . . . I'm right here." My fingers combed through his filthy hair, pulling gently on the tangles. Edward sighed and shifted, turning his head toward me.

"Bella," he murmured, breath tickling across my wrist. He looked at me with unfocused eyes, the green much darker than normal. He was obviously not fully conscious, but still his lips quirked a bit as if he were trying to smile and he mumbled a soft, "Hi."

I choked on a sob at his simple greeting, a reminder of happier times. "Hi," I said, smiling back. I fluttered my fingers across his lips, my hand shaking from the relief flooding me.

"We don't have much time," said Tanya, leaning over my shoulder. "Welcome back, Mr. Masen. Ready to get married?"

Edward glanced between us, closing his eyes for a moment before he licked his lips and whispered, "Married?"

"Yes . . . married. You'd think you two had never heard the word before." Tanya turned back to Emmett. "You ready over there, oh priestly one?"

"Wait," I said, still staring into my Edward's eyes. "I don't understand why we're getting married." Edward smiled at me, the corners of his mouth twitching upward as his eyes focused on my face, his lips kissing my fingertips.

"The Masen legend goes back to the early sixteen-hundreds." Emmett moved to the other side of Edward, sitting cross-legged on the concrete floor. "The books say his power is a curse, brought down upon the Masen line after a handfasting between the leader of one clan and the sister of the leader of another was refused on the three hundred and sixty seventh day. There are historical arguments on the legitimacy of this, though because, if it's true, it would have been the catalyst to one of the worst inter-clan wars in Scottish history. The result of that particular war was the creation of Lord Ochiltree's Committee, which formed the Statutes of Iona in 1609 and the Regulations for the Chiefs in 1616. There are numerous plausible theories on—"

"Stop," I said, my head spinning. "The Masens are Scottish?"

Edward furrowed his brow in confusion and shrugged a shoulder. "Guess I can get rid of those 'Éirinn go brách' flannel pants."

I snorted and shook my head. "You'd look good in a kilt." I leaned over and pressed my lips to the corner of his mouth, lingering to inhale against his skin, taking one moment to simply revel in the fact that he was alive and awake. Then I looked up at Emmett with a frown. "Let's skip the history lesson. Why are we getting married?"

"Because only the bhean chéile of a Masen can control the gadái," Emmett stated. "Without a wife, the power sits dormant, which is why Edward never realized he even had a gift." Emmett spun toward door as a loud rumble broke the stillness around us. We waited until the noise passed, all holding back our panic in silence. After a few very tense moments, Emmett turned back toward us and smiled. "My guess is your father never shared the family history with you, though I have no idea why not. You were in danger from the moment you were born, yet neither of your parents seemed to do much of anything to protect you . . . except for the tattoo. But we'll get to that after the ceremony. Right now, we need to handfast the two of you so Bella can access the gadái. We really need that power if we're going to get everyone out of this alive."

Ignoring the talk of wives and marriage, I focused on the other Irish word he kept throwing around. "Why is his gift called gadái if it's a way of controlling other people's gifts? What's being stolen?"

Emmett glanced at Tanya, the smile dropping from his face. "The Masen curse doesn't just control gifts, Bella. It steals the powers of gifted people. That's why it's so valuable. You'd just have to be in the same room with someone gifted, and their power would become yours for as long as you control the curse."

Tanya hung her head, taking a deep breath before turning my way, pain and resignation on her face.

"You want me to steal Tanya's gift?" I whispered, horrified.

"Technically, you're going to steal the gifts of everyone around you," Emmett said. "But yes, I think between your ability to pull energy to you and Tanya's skill with manipulating electrical impulses, we have the best chance to get everyone out of here with the least amount of collateral damage. I still can't believe they held you in a metal building – perfect, dumb fucking luck for us."

I shook my head, jaw clenching while thinking about their plan. I remembered every second of being in Chelsea's sponge, of losing my senses. That feeling of imbalance, the inability to use the gift I'd grown accustomed to relying on, had left me sick and slightly panicked. I couldn't do that to someone on purpose, couldn't steal the thing that made them who they were.

"I'm not going to—"

"It's my choice, Bella. Not yours." Tanya's eyes were hard as she glared. "There are too many people involved to just slink away. Without my help, people will die here. People we love, that we consider family." She shook her head and looked back at Emmett, the energy between them turning soft and sweet in an instant, the flowery perfume of adoration floating through the air. "I won't let someone lose a family member just so I can make money performing card tricks and sleight of hand trickery. Besides, it's a handfast. If history is correct, they really only betroth the two of you for a year and a day. I'll get my gift back eventually."

Her voice grew soft at the end, quiet uncertainty tainting the words. Emmett wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, holding her up emotionally the way I'd held Edward up physically only moments before. Looking between the two of them, I knew I couldn't refuse. Emmett had lost so much already, what with the death of his parents and Mikey's disappearance, and Tanya had lived for many years without the parents who had meant so much to her. I couldn't take away more of their family, couldn't allow anything to happen to the people that came to help me save Edward, the people who were family by choice if not by blood.

Tanya's sacrifice amazed me, brought a sense of pride and responsibility to me. No words could begin to give thanks for what she was volunteering to do; no amount of gratitude could make up for the loss she would certainly endure. I reached out and threaded my fingers through hers, squeezing to let her know, in the only way I could, how much I loved and appreciated her.

"But we can't get married," Edward said hoarsely, drawing my eyes back to him. "There's no minister, no license."

Emmett grinned at me. "The notion of licenses is a modern one. In the time the curse was cast, the ritual of handfasting was the most common means of acquiring a wife, at least temporarily. No priest, no license, no legalities. Like Tanya said, you bind yourselves together in a betrothal lasting for one year and a day. After that point, you can release each other from the marriage and the gadái will go back to dormancy."

"How do you know for sure it will just end after a year and a day?" I asked, skeptical and unsure.

Emmett shrugged. "I don't. I can only speculate and hypothesize. But I've read the legends myself and understand more about this curse than probably anyone else out there. If I had to put my money on any particular course of action to utilize the gift, this would be it."

"Why do we have to use the gift at all? Why can't we just work together to help everyone escape?" I directed my question to Tanya, hoping she'd answer instead of Emmett.

"Because the Gutierrez' are too strong," Tanya replied. "With their gifts intact, we'll never be able to get away from them. Not all of us, at least." She glanced at Edward before asking, "Are you prepared to let someone die because you were too afraid of what might happen to take a chance? Are you going to pick who gets to run for safety and who stays behind to cover them from the enemy?"

Tears fell as I shook my head, thinking of every single face that had come with me to this camp - Carlisle and Esme, only recently reunited; Alice and Jasper, newly in love and happy; James and Rose and Caius, slowly working through their past hurts.

"How do we know you're telling us the truth?" Edward asked, his voice laced with distrust. I couldn't really blame him; Emmett hadn't exactly made things easy on either of his. "How do you know I have any kind of gift? And how do I know whatever you plan to do won't hurt Bella?"

Emmett met Edward's gaze, his face stoic, blue eyes wide and honest. "Because I would never hurt Bella, not like that." He glanced at Tanya apologetically before turning back to Edward. "I admit I didn't handle things well. Between Mikey getting caught up in the wrong crowd, the whispers of who you were and what your gift was, and the disappearance of my brother . . ." He paused and took a deep breath. "I've loved Bella since the day I met her, sometimes like a sister and sometimes like . . . more. I didn't react the way I should have when you came into her life. I didn't treat you with the respect I should have as someone she cared about. I let the rumors from other carnies stand as fact, and that is something I regret immensely. But she's family to me, and I would never do anything to put her in harm's way. If I hadn't read the books on the legend myself, I wouldn't even think of trying the handfasting."

He smiled at me, almost guiltily. "Your safety and the lives of your friends and family are important to me, and I will do everything in my power to help keep them safe. I know I don't deserve it, I know I really screwed up, but I need you to trust me on this one, Bella. This is the only way."

I looked over at Edward, disbelief still evident on his face. I glanced at Tanya and saw nothing but faith and surety in her eyes. And finally I turned to Emmett, the man who'd taught me how to stand up for myself, how to kick and punch and defend my body as well as my mind. The man who laughed with me, watched out for Alice and me when we were young, watched over the safety of the thousands of patrons at Eclipse carnivals every day. The one who had beaten the man I loved but still had the courage to walk into this camp to help me rescue him. The man staring back at me with the most honest eyes I'd ever seen.

And for perhaps the first time I let my heart speak for me instead of relying on my head.

"I trust you, Emmett."

.

.

.

Ten minutes later, Edward and I sat against the wall opposite the door. Tanya and Emmett knelt in front of us, preparing the area and going over the notes Emmett had pulled from his pockets. Tanya tied a small piece of red yarn around my wrist, claiming tradition required the bride to wear something scarlet. Edward squeezed my hand as the two prepared for the ceremony.

"I never really pictured us getting married on the floor," he whispered, his breath warm and soft against my temple. He still seemed weak and exhausted, but he was awake – he was aware of what was happening.

I leaned into him, pushing our shoulders together and rubbing my thumb against his palm. "I can't believe you actually pictured us getting married at all."

He kissed my cheek, my throat, then right behind my ear as he whispered, "Oh, chéadsearc. I've thought about us together, forever, since that day in Aunt Esme's tent." He took a deep, shuddering breath. "The day I almost lost you."

I turned toward him, our lips centimeters apart, breaths mingling between us. "The day you pushed me away."

He brought his hand to my cheek, stroking with his thumb. "I was stupid and scared. The moment you ran out of that tent I knew what a mistake I'd made. You took my heart when you left, and I would have followed you to the ends of the earth to get you back."

I raised my chin to kiss his fingers, smiling and fighting back tears. "I love you, Edward Masen."

"Not nearly as much as I love you, Bella Swan-soon-to-be-Masen." We smiled and chuckled, conversing in whispers and sighs, truly taking advantage of these shared moments, until Emmett cleared his throat to get our attention. I grasped Edward's hand , holding onto him to keep myself grounded. He squeezed mine just as tight.

With a quick nod to the two of us, Emmett began the ceremony that would bind Edward and me for the next three hundred and sixty six days.

"May the place of this rite be consecrated for the Gods. For we gather here in a ritual of love with two who would be wedded."

Tanya placed our left hands together, palm to palm, fingertip to fingertip. She slid the end of the long, purple ribbon between our palms and wrapped it around our fingers as she spoke.

"Be with us here, O beings of the Air. With your clever fingers. Tie closely the bonds between these two. Be with us here, O beings of Fire. Give their love and passion your own all-consuming ardor." She twisted the ribbon around our hands with care, her fingers steady as the river of purple slid into place.

"Be with us here, O beings of Water. Give them the deepest of love and the richness of the body, of the soul and of the spirit. Be with us here, O beings of Earth. Let your strength and constancy be theirs for so long as they desire to remain together. Blessed Goddess and Laughing God. Give to these before you, we do ask your love and protection." She looped the end of the ribbon around our wrists, folding it underneath itself as she bowed her head and finally whispered, "Blessed Be."

Emmett answered with his own "Blessed Be" before clasping our bound hands between his. "Here before witnesses, Isabella and Edward have sworn vows to each other. With this cord, I bind them to the vows that they each have made. However this binding is not tied, so that neither is restricted by the other, and the binding is only enforced by both their wills."

Edward and I stared into each other's eyes as we spoke the words we needed to finalize the handfasting. "Heart to thee, soul to thee, body to thee, forever and always."

Tanya smiled sadly at the two of us, then pulled a small knife from her back pocket. "You have to break the magic within the tattoo now, Bella."

It took me several moments to process her words, to make sense of what she was telling me to do. "Wait . . . you want me to cut him?" I asked as Tanya pressed the knife into my right palm, my left still tied to Edward. Emmett glanced from Edward to me, the expression on his face making my heart drop to my knees.

"The others tried — that's why his chest is so mangled." Emmett pointed, almost green around the gills when he took in Edward's battered skin. "The tattoo is a protection, a way to mask the gift so it can't be controlled. Only the Masen's wife can break it."

"But I thought," I said, coughing to hold back the tears threatening to fall, "I thought only his fíorghrá could control the power. I thought the other wives—"

"The wife can break the shield," Emmett said, interrupting me. "The tattoo came long after the curse, and whoever designed it didn't have a full understanding of how the Masen gift worked. The wife can break it, and the power will transfer to her, but she can't control it. She'd be consumed by it. Only his fíorghrá can use the gift without losing herself to it. Not a Masen's wife, not a family member, not some stranger . . . only his true soul mate."

"It's always been about the women, Bella, and now it's all about you," Tanya said. I stared at her in shock, having heard those words so many times since I met Edward but never really associating them with myself.

The Masen women had lied and cheated and betrayed their husbands for generations just to get a taste of the gadái, sacrificing their husbands and children in the process. They had died in pursuit of that power . . . but not me.

If everything Emmett said was true, somehow my love for Edward would protect me, keep me from falling into that same pit of desperation. Our bond would keep me safe, keep me sane. I didn't know how, nor did I understand what was going to happen once the gadái was released, but I knew I could endure it.

I needed to use this gift to save my family.

I stared at the simple silver blade, a war between horror and acceptance battling within me. "You want me . . . to cut him." My voice, while still quiet, was no longer shocked.

I met Edward's stare for a moment, his face calm and trusting.

"It's the only way," Tanya whispered. "We can't get everyone out without Bella stripping the powers from the Gutierrez's. And the only way to do that is to release the gadái, which means breaking the control of the tattoo." Edward's eyes, still focused solely on me, never wavered. The calm there became a beacon in the storm of my emotions, calling me home, showing me the way back to him. The way to keep us safe.

"This isn't just about you two, not anymore," Tanya continued. "There are a lot of lives at stake here. We have to get them all out . . . now." I could see her looking from Edward to me and back, waiting for an answer, for some sort of signal we were accepting our role in this. I kept my eyes on Edward, knowing he would give me what I needed to move forward.

Finally, with a small smile and a deep breath, he whispered, "I trust you, Bella." Edward's words surrounded me, and the mellow scent of his trust comforted me as nothing else could. He would accept his sacrifice, as Tanya was accepting hers, to save all the people supporting us. To save our friends. To save our family.

I palmed the knife carefully, tears falling from my eyes unbidden. I didn't want to hurt him, didn't even know if I would have the guts to press the blade into his flesh, but I accepted this as a necessary task. I couldn't imagine another way to save our friends, and we couldn't leave without them.

Elizabeth's words from the drive to this desolate forest reverberated in my head - _Choose__your__path__carefully__and__commit__to__your__actions.__When__the__time__comes,__don't__hesitate._

I had to do this – I had already committed to Edward, now I needed to commit to hurting him. "Tá mo chroí istigh ionat," I whispered as I raised the knife, lining the blade up with a part of the tattoo that appeared solid from top to bottom.

"We'll get our forever, Bella," Edward murmured, his gaze never dropping from mine. "Just a little bit more, and we'll get our happily ever after." Edward sounded so sure, so calm and steady. I took comfort from him, took peace and acceptance as I leaned forward to brush my lips against his.

And then I pressed the knife into his skin and yanked it down, just far enough to clear the bottom of the last black band.

He hissed as I pulled the knife away and threw it across the floor, then he grabbed me with his unbound arm and pulled me against him, crushing me to his chest. My tears mixed with his blood, rivers of red falling between us, staining us both.

"It's okay, beautiful. It hardly even hurt. We're okay," he whispered against my hair over and over again. I clung to his shoulders, sobbing tears of regret, my stomach turning and knotting. Edward unwound the purple ribbon from our hands so he could pull me closer, squeeze me tighter. I clung to his shoulder as my breathing slowed, needing the contact to force the guilt in my chest to ease.

"You cut your hand," Edward whispered, bringing my left palm to his lips and kissing the small red line softly.

"I just cut a six inch gash into your chest, and you're worried about that little nothing of a mark?" I rolled my eyes and disregarded the tiny scrape. It seemed so inconsequential to me, nothing more than a drop or two of my blood leaking from it.

"I will always worry about you," Edward said, his voice so firm and confident. He leaned down and kissed my lips, my chin, my cheek, until his mouth rested next to my ear. "You are my life, my love, my eternity . . . my wife. There is nothing more important to me than you."

I leaned my forehead against his, wishing I had the words to express how much he meant to me. How my heart beat only for him, how my soul was tied to his forever. But words could never be enough, never convey all the feelings in my heart, so I simply held him in silence, showing him with my touch what speech could never say.

"Now what?" Tanya said, breaking our moment and reminding me there was still more to do. The nightmare wasn't over yet. Edward and I shifted in her direction though we refused to untangle ourselves. We would face whatever was to come together – loving, touching, feeling the world as one.

"I'm not really sure," Emmett said, shrugging. The four of us sat, tension building between us, waiting for something to indicate the handfasting had worked. But the silence stretched for minutes with no indication that anything had changed.

"Did we do something wrong?" Tanya finally asked, looking around nervously.

Emmett shook his head and read over his notes. "Do you feel any different, Bella?"

I shrugged. "No, though I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel. It's not like all of a sudden I can—"

My right hand, the one with the tiny cut in the palm, had pressed against Edward's chest, skin–on-skin and blood-on-blood. I froze as every nerve ending in my body fired at once, an all-consuming sensation that blocked out everything else. An icy wave of power washed over me, drowning me, freezing me to my very soul.

Blue sparks of electricity danced along my arms, around my wrists, down to the tips of my fingers. They tickled and twisted, caressing me, whispering all the things we could do together, all the things we could control together. The light the sparks gave off grew brighter as I felt Tanya's power join my own. Heavier, stronger, drenched in the scent of leather, her gift gave me more energy, more fuel to the fire of the desire racing through my blood. All I could focus on was this sense of want - this need to obtain, control, and devour.

The energy grew louder, more demanding, sparks flying and swirling in a massive glow of power. I moved without intention, directed by nothing more than the force now roaring, the only sound audible over the pulsing beat of my heart. Rising, walking toward the center of the room through the world now tinted cyan by the light radiating from my skin. I raised my right hand as my feet continued forward, barely noticing the way the blue-fire embers looked against my pale skin, still focusing on all I could obtain if I just allowed them to lead me, if I gave into their requests for my submission. We were pure power, raw and untamable. Unstoppable if only—

"Bella!"

My fingers moved of their own volition, flicking out and up as if to shoo a fly. At the same moment, something flew across the building, crashing into the opposite wall. Detached from the reality around me, swimming in the dazzling blue energy, I wondered why the sight of the dark-haired man lying on the floor made my stomach clench, why my heart pounded harder and my throat tightened. Why the scent of mischief and mist mingling with the metallic tang of blood made me want to shrug off the cloak of power warming me and face the coldness of this place without it.

The sparks jumped and wiggled, happier than before, begging to be used again, wanting to do more. The blue grew brighter, deeper, more opaque even as confusion tickled at the back of my mind. I took in the rest of the room, wondering what else I could use this new power on, the energy begging me to act.

"Chéadsearc." The word cut through the pulsing in my head, made me freeze in place. Something about it, about that voice, was important to me. The electricity sparked and glowed brighter, hotter, reminding me it was important — probably the most important thing in my life. But my heart pounded and my blood pulsed in response . . . in denial of the energy. There was something else, something I needed more than the light, more than the power. More than the blue haze clouding the world around me.

"Come back to me, chéadsearc. Come back, beautiful. I need you. We all need you."

I turned in the direction of the voice, two green spots of light burning my eyes, the only color I could see clearly through the blue haze. Their presence shot through the energy, cleaving it easily and giving me a moment to think, to realize what was happening. Those eyes belonged to Edward, my Edward - my love, my life, my husband. He was the reason I sat in this dingy metal building, he was the reason I had this power flowing through me, he was the reason for everything. I couldn't see his face through the blue, but I knew it was him. I knew that green, knew the energy of his soul, so perfectly aligned with mine.

Knew the idea of losing me to his family's curse would shatter him into too many pieces to put back together.

I couldn't allow myself to lose my grasp on reality, so I fought against the laughter in my head, against the blue light that wanted to absorb me into its glow. Breathing in and out deeply, I focused on Edward's presence until his face began to show through the haze.

Until caramel and cookies, home and rain, completely overpowered the smell of ozone.

"C'mon, chéadsearc. You can do this; you can fight it. Just come back to me." Edward pulled me against his body carefully and angled my head so my nose was buried under his chin. The scent of us together kept me from being dragged back into the glow, giving me time to think, to focus on something other than the power currently burning through the tips of my fingers.

"It's . . . too much," I whispered. My body began to shake, the will it was taking to withstand the desire of the blue draining me of every bit of strength I possessed. Edward's hands ran up and down my back, stroking along my hips, massaging up the back of my neck. His touch grounded me, kept my focus on him rather than the power flowing out of my body. His scent reminded me of who I was, his love telling me I could do anything . . . I could beat the gadái . . . I could be stronger than the curse.

"Hold onto yourself, Bella. I know you can." Edward pulled back to peer down at me, never releasing me from his arms. "We just have to—"

Before he could finish his sentence, the door across the room flew open and the Gutierrez clan raced through, Elizabeth battered and bruised as she stood in the middle of them. The rush of their gifts slamming into my body set my nerves aflame again, and I arched away from Edward as a scream ripped from my throat.

I floated in a sea of pure energy, surrounded by nothing but blue waves of power. The building, the people - all were gone. All that existed was the force enveloping me and the cackling laughter of the gadái.

"You can't keep him." The sound surrounded me, coming from around as well as within. It echoed in the blue space, battering my head in a continual concussion of sound and heat. "You can't keep him and us; you will lose him."

"No," I groaned, grasping my head in my hands.

"The threads cannot be tied together. You will lose him."

"No!" Stronger now, pushing up from my knees, struggling to find my equilibrium.

"The two cannot—"

In a rush of near paralyzing dizziness, I jumped to my feet and screamed, "Then I choose him!"

The blue waves pulsed once, twice, deafening in their concussive force. Suddenly, the world tilted and spun, the voice of the gadái weakening, merely whispering as the blue faded and the metal barn came back into focus.

"You will lose him. The threads cannot be tied together. We will be here, and you will lose him."

Edward's voice replaced the terrifying sound of the gadái, his hands on my shoulders, and his panicked eyes staring into mine. "Bella? Baby? Are you okay?"

Before I could answer, Aromondo yelled, "She's done it! She has control of the curse. Girls, block her!"

I turned to face the woman head-on as she stared at me, obviously trying to access something she no longer controlled. The movement put me in front of Edward, shielding him. I knew he wouldn't allow that for long, so I quickly let go of the pain coursing through me and searched through the powers now at my mental fingertips.

I waited for the others to realize what they were missing, smiling when the confusion flashed across Chelsea's face. Aromondo's gift of telepathy slithered across my mind first, the gadái strengthening it, no longer needing touch before filling my head with the thoughts of all those around me - the broken insanity of Eleazar, the cruelty of Jane, Renata's sadness over the memories of Edward's torture.

The most surprising, though, were Elizabeth's thoughts. She stared at me, trying to utilize the gift she no longer possessed, her thoughts scattered and filled with anger. I saw the moment realization sparked in her eyes, and she began sending me memories of her life.

Pure joy radiated from the memory of the day she learned she was pregnant with a baby she knew belonged to her 'false' husband, the man she wasn't supposed to love. But she did love him, even if only in that moment, for he'd given her the most perfect gift in the entire world, something Eleazar had refused her. For the first time, she truly understood selflessness; she felt the unconditional love only another parent could understand. She was filled with it, basking in a happiness she'd never thought possible, completely independent of the unbalanced Gutierrez men who'd ruled her life for so long . . . until the visions of her son's future started.

Her gift offered her no rest from the terror of seeing her baby's life unfold. No matter how many choices she made, how many times she tried to find a way around Edward's eventual capture and torture, she failed. They were all similar – Aromondo discovering Edward's gift and convincing his family they could be the most powerful group in the world if they could only capture him, harness the gadái, and "collect" every gift they could locate.

Each decision she made altered the scenario a bit – location, Edward's age, other people involved – but the end was always the same… Edward, pale and dead, lying in a pool of his own blood.

Small moments of her happiness and love, of her terror and protectiveness, rushed through me, almost overwhelming in their tenor.

Almost strong enough to be believable.

But unbeknownst to her, the gadái had already given me the opportunity to see the truth beneath the lies. To see the hate she felt for the child that grew in her womb, to see the way she barely tolerated him through his childhood, waiting for his gift to develop. Hidden beneath the fake fear and love was a reality of anger and neglect, of greed and possession.

And in the middle of the maelstrom was a small boy with burnished red hair and bright green eyes, smiling at the woman who secretly loathed him. His body grew, his baby fat thinning, and his features maturing… his smile faltering over time.

The image chilled my heart, the blue light fading as my thoughts centered on denying that vision, on keeping Edward safe. Elizabeth nodded once, a smugness in her eyes, as if she understood my goal and played more memories for me – more visions and moments of her past. Her voice whispered along with the pictures, like a soundtrack to a movie, like a visual monologue. But once again, the truth came through as well, buried deep below the pictures she forced my way.

In one of her altered memories, she sat in a dark space, probably an attic or basement, making decision after decision about how to deal with Edward's future, always searching for ways to keep him hidden from Aromondo. I saw her successes - how she could put off his discovery if she stopped touching Edward and started hiding her thoughts using Gaelic so Aromondo couldn't understand her, how the visions had faded and slowed down over the years.

And then I saw her failures. I saw the day Edward's father took his son to get a tattoo – a protection from a curse and yet a curse in itself, because the moment any Gutierrez saw the swirling ink, he would know exactly who and what the boy was. They would know Edward Senior had protected his son for a reason, and Aromondo would want the boy. No amount of language or avoidance could delay the inevitable. Elizabeth's voice gave words to the pictures, explaining how the weight of having failed her son had crushed her heart into stone.

But the true memory played out below the false one, of Elizabeth sitting in those dark spaces planning how to control the gadái once Edward came of age. How she stopped touching Edward when he was awake so he would trust her more, making him think she couldn't see his future any longer. How she began planning the death of her husband the day he brought Edward home with that tattoo, knowing it would lock her child's gift just out of her reach. How her knowledge of the future gave her the patience of Job . . . and how, with every second she waited for her revenge, her anger swelled.

_Coimhéad fearg fhear na foighde._

I almost gasped as Elizabeth's words came back to me. The night my Edward lost his father, lost the last of his youthful innocence and the full use of his body, Elizabeth had leaned into the car the two Edward's would go home in and said in Gaelic, "Beware the anger of a patient man."

She'd given herself away, warned the older Edward in the only way she could that she would eventually get what she wanted from him. But she didn't do it out of love or responsibility. She did it to mislead her son, to make him doubt the others around her while he continued to allow her in his life.

Elizabeth kept trying to sway me, to show me false memories and creative "visions" of the future based on the decisions she hoped I'd make, but the truth was there. She would stop at nothing to gain the gadái, would kill for it, would murder her own son if she thought she could control the power without him. Her greed ran deeper than anything else in her soul, made her less than human in her actions, even gave her the ability to ignore the call of her fíorghrá.

It was this refusal of their bond that caused Eleazar's insanity, giving Marcus enough of a break to reach into the older man's mind and control the bonds he formed between others. Eleazar was the Gutierrez's marionette, dancing to someone else's song while Elizabeth, Aromondo, and Marcus pulled his strings. I almost felt sorry for him.

I moved Elizabeth's dual-memory stream to the back of my mind and instead called forth her gift. Images of the future flashed behind my eyes almost instantly, too fast to understand. I pushed and prodded the gift, reining it in just enough to see what I needed to know before releasing it and bringing forth Elizabeth's memories again.

Just in time to see her memory of giving birth to a second child, a tiny bundle of pink with black hair and delicate features.

Elizabeth's power forced its way to the front of my mind again as I disregarded the image and made a decision on how to proceed. The pictures rolled through, flashes of success and failure as I shifted my actions along the way, my mind speeding through possibilities as time seemed to still. Finally, for barely more than a moment, I saw Edward sitting next to me, our spotted hands clasped, smiles on our wrinkled faces as we watched the sun setting over a pine forest. A future together . . . a possibility. One I would do anything to achieve.

One I now knew how to make happen, thanks to Elizabeth.

I refocused on the entire group in front of me, all of them confused and anxious without their gifts to guide them. Renata and Chelsea clung to one another, their gifts sliding around inside me like snakes across grass. I didn't see how the powers of the shield/sponge connection could help me, so I disregarded them, shoving them into a closet in my mind and closing the door.

Aromondo and Eleazar argued quietly, eyes darting around the room as if searching for a way past me, for a way to get to Edward. Jane stood off to the side, arms crossed over her chest, glaring at her family. As the only non-gifted person in the group, she'd always been ridiculed and pushed into the less-important jobs of the family business. There was now a macabre sense of pride floating through her as she realized, at least in this situation, she was the most powerful Gutierrez because she was accustomed to functioning without special help.

But the most disturbing thoughts came from her husband. Quiet, non-obtrusive Marcus, who married Aromondo's mean-spirited daughter to get access to the Gutierrez business. Who influenced Eleazar to use his gift to keep the family together while they all studied the legend of the Masen men. Who thought Aromondo was a fool and Eleazar an imbecile but had the patience to wait for his opportunity to seize Edward, the man he saw as nothing more than a means to an end.

Whose gift was strong enough to separate fíorghrás, to stretch the bond between them almost to the point of breaking. Who could find the slightest weakness in a bond between couples and exploit it to his will.

Marcus, who would have killed Edward as soon as he knew the two of us had married. Who was the only one that knew exactly how the gadái worked and had managed to keep his knowledge a secret for years.

Marcus, who was currently slinking his way around the perimeter of the Gutierrez group and heading toward my husband.

I waved my right hand and slammed the door closed behind them, locking everyone inside.

"No more," I said, my voice a raspy whisper to my ears. The others heard me, though; I could recognize the echo of my voice in their thoughts. "You don't get to hurt my love again. I have control of his power now, and I will use it to keep him safe."

"You're right about one thing, little girl," Marcus said with a sneer. "You do control his power . . . I wonder if you will continue to control it even when your Masen is dead." Time slowed as his thoughts flashed through my head – of how he believed he could gain control over me once Edward died, how he could use me to funnel power to himself.

Of the gun in the waistband of his jeans just as he reached for it.

The electricity pulsed over me once, twice, before a giant blue orb exploded from my outstretched hands. The force raced across the room, sparkling and screaming when it reached the Gutierrez family, shooting white-hot sparks like fireworks against the roof above. I heard a thud as Edward fell behind me, obviously not strong enough to fight off the force of the near-explosion, but I stayed steady, planting my feet and locking my body into place. I focused on the three biggest threats to Edward – Marcus, Aromondo and Elizabeth – and spread my fingers to push the others to the periphery.

The blue haze crawled around the three, growing brighter the higher it rose against their bodies. They immediately froze in the glow; heads thrown back, mouths open as if screaming. I knew what was going to happen to them, instinctively knew the power would basically absorb their energy and leave them as empty husks, but I couldn't stop it. They would kill my Edward without pause, and because of that, they had to die.

I encouraged the gadái to hold tighter, push harder, letting the power know this would be the last time I allowed it the freedom to act. Every ounce of my consciousness was directed to the energy transfer happening in front of me which is why I didn't notice the smoke until Tanya screamed in my ear, didn't see the flames in time to get in front of them. The fire blazed, spreading along the wooden support posts for the building and through the cardboard boxes scattered around the floor.

"Edward." The word fell like a plea from my lips as I turned to help him up.

"The ball of death over there's blocking the door," yelled Tanya, scanning the other side of the room. "We need to grab Emmett and get the hell out of here."

My blood turned cold as the energy in front of us pulsed brighter, grew larger, and a sense of desperation settled into my chest. "I don't think we have that kind of time." I scanned for the rest of the Gutierrez clan but couldn't see through the smoke far enough to know if they had escaped the building.

Ignoring the knot of dread settling into my stomach, I pushed up, lifting Edward with my left hand as I punched my right one forward. A hole the size of a large window appeared in the steel wall, the edges glowing red as they twisted outward.

"Go now!" I yelled, pushing Edward at Tanya. "Get him out of here. I'll find Emmett."

Edward tried to struggle as Tanya dragged him across the floor, but he was no match for her, still too weak to fight against her strength. He stared at me, desperate and terrified.

"It's my fault; I have to," I said, hoping he heard me, before turning away and rushing toward the blue light. My eyes burned and my throat tightened from the smoke, but I kept myself low to the ground as I headed in the direction I thought Emmett would be. The ball of energy still sat in front of the door, opaque in the heat, hiding whatever was happening with the three trapped within. Not that I really wanted to know.

I had almost given up when a hand landed on my arm. I jumped and looked into a pair of ice-blue eyes I'd have known anywhere.

"We have to get out of here, Bella," James said, pulling me around the far side of the blue ball toward the door.

"But Emmett—"

"We'll never find him in this smoke. C'mon, there's not much time left."

I followed him around the energy ball and out the door, my heart breaking as I realized my friend wasn't going to make it out of the fire my loss of control started. We were almost to the tree line when I noticed a weird tickling sensation in my mind, like the weaving of tiny threads across my thoughts. The feeling intensified quickly, each string developing a distinct feeling to it, a way of differentiating between them. When I latched onto one that made my heart warm and my senses fill with caramel, that pulled me toward the opposite side of the building, I knew exactly what it was. I'd just stolen another gift.

"James, I'm sorry. I didn't—"

"Let's save the platitudes for another time, okay? I'd really like to get the hell away from this inferno before they blow up." He didn't look at me, just kept his eyes forward as he hunched and strode forward.

Glancing back at the building now lighting up the night sky, I asked, "Who's going to blow up?"

James glanced my way, the disgust on his face clear . . . and directed right at me. "The people you entombed and sentenced to death in that blue ball of hell. Jesus, Bella, what were you thinking? We could have figured out another way."

I pulled my hand from his, angry and hurt by his accusation. "You think that was my first choice?" I yelled, pointing behind me. "I had control of the Masen's gift; I had Aromondo's mind reading and Elizabeth's power to see the future screaming in my head. They would have killed Edward. They deserved to die."

James pulled me against his body as the roof collapsed behind us, sending sparks flying through the night sky. His touch burned my skin, making me ultra-aware of every single inch of him pressed to me.

"You are not a killer, Bella," he said, staring down at me.

"I had to save Edward." My voice broke on the last word, tears building in my eyes as the weight of guilt bore down on me.

James shook his head. "I know you love him; I've felt the bond between the two of you, and it's stronger than any I've witnessed. But can you honestly tell me his life is somehow more important than your soul? Because that's what you've given up, Bella. You've lost a piece of yourself by murdering those people."

My heart froze for a beat, then two. I wondered if he was right, if somehow I'd lost a piece of myself in that metal barn. But as I looked over his shoulder and saw my Edward rushing toward me across the clearing, I knew I'd done the right thing.

And I would have done it again, paid the price once more, if it meant saving him. Because Edward was a part of my soul, and he would help stitch me back together when the guilt ripped through me.

I stepped away from James, noticing Caius behind Edward but paying him no mind, my eyes never leaving Edward's. It was his arms I wanted wrapped around me, his breath on my face, his body pressed against mine. No one's touch could compare to that of my fíorghrá.

"What did you do, Bella?" Caius asked, his eyes wide and wary as he followed Edward.

"I did what I had to," I whispered back. Edward moved behind me, pulling me into his arms and leaning his weight on me, though whether that was for his benefit or mine, I would never know.

"Where's everyone else?" James asked. "I can't feel them. I can't . . ." His eyes met mine, fearful and accusing. "I can't feel anyone."

"It's the Masen curse." Edward lifted his head from my shoulder and wrapped his arms around me tighter. "Emmett did a handfasting which gave Bella my power. The curse steals others' gifts and gives them to her . . . to my wife."

"Jasper, Carlisle, and Alice were in the barn with us," Caius said, his hard eyes watching me. "Demetri was able to bust out of the house with Rose and Esme. They're all at the trailhead waiting for the rest of us."

"Is that everybody then?" asked Edward, his breath tickling my scalp.

Caius said, "Yes" at the same moment as I said, "No." He looked surprised for a moment, so I continued. "Emmett and Tanya are here. I know Tanya got out," I looked up at Edward to verify, and he nodded, "but we couldn't get to Emmett in time."

"Fuck," Caius yelled. He turned on his heel and stalked across the clearing, heading toward the fire. I watched him as he stopped and bowed his head, hands on his hips. I knew his guilt, could tell he was kicking himself because we were going to leave someone behind. But I couldn't take away his pain; I could barely contain my own.

It was James that approached the grieving soldier, that wrapped an arm around the man and whispered to him. Caius nodded once, thumping James on the back in his own version of a man-hug, and walked back over to me. I blocked out every gift, locking them all away so I could give the man I thought of as my family as much honesty and truth as I could muster.

"Bella, you go with James and meet up with the others. Renee and Phil will be pacing trenches in the sand by this point." He stared at the ground and took a deep breath before lifting his head and meeting Edward's curious gaze. "Say your goodbyes now, because you two can't be in the same damn state for the next year."

I felt Edward tense as my jaw dropped. "You can't be serious."

Caius thrust a finger at us. "That handfasting gives you power over his gift. I'm pretty sure we can all agree that may not be the best idea. Plus, until we know if anyone else is still after him, you two are a convenient target." He shook his head. "I'm sorry, but until the handfasting expires, there's no way you can be together."

.

.

.

Ten minutes, a hundred kisses, and four-thousand-thirty-two tears later, James led me along the path to the beach, my heart and soul following Caius down a different trail in another direction. Every step away from Edward tore at me, slowing me down and leaving me with a wretched burning in the center of my chest.

"It's the only way," James said on a sigh. I knew he was right, knew the gadái was too powerful and too much of a temptation to risk staying with Edward, but that didn't stop me from feeling like my world was slowly spinning apart.

I suddenly spun on the trail, feeling him long before I could see or hear him as he hurried toward me.

"Bella," he breathed as soon as he broke through the trees. I ran at him, crying again, wrapping my arms and legs around him right before we both fell to the ground.

"A year and a day," he whispered against my mouth, kissing me one last time. I nodded, the moisture from my tears coating us both. "Three-hundred, sixty seven days from now I'm going to walk through your door, and no one will ever be able to make me leave you again. You know that, right?"

I nodded again, unable or unwilling to speak, to break this moment.

"We need to go, Bella." James sounded irritated, but I ignored him. Just two more minutes — two more and I could walk away knowing I'd be counting the minutes until I saw Edward again.

Edward stood slowly, pulling me up with him as he glared at James.

"I should probably thank you for helping them find me," Edward said, his hand wrapped possessively around my waist.

James shrugged. "It's my job."

Edward snorted, then turned so he could lean down to kiss my lips once more, his tongue slowly tracing along the seam before he pulled away, walking backward with a silly grin on his face.

"Is liomsa mo ghrá," he whispered, smiling. I laughed for the first time in what felt like days, his slight jealousy kind of adorable.

"No doubts, a stór."

.

.

.

* * *

TRANSLATIONS

**Bhean chéile** = wife

**Bhean** = woman

**Gadái** = thief

**Éirinn go brách** = Ireland Forever

**Tá mo chroí istigh ionat** = My heart is within you

**Is liomsa mo ghrá** = My beloved is mine

The handfasting information is true. I pulled a lot from Wikipedia and copied the ceremony from a handfasting website. There are many ceremonies out there and ways to incorporate the tradition into a Christian ceremony, in case you were wondering.


	30. An deireadh

I don't own it . . . and most of the time, that makes me sad.

* * *

.

A year and a day.

I'd never really thought about the relativity of time before that year. I was not the kid who dreaded going back to school, who complained that those last few days of summer passed much faster than any others. I slept soundly every Christmas Eve, paid attention in class all the way through early June, and lived every second of every day in a consistent manner.

Steady.

Stable.

Desperate for some sort of regimentation. Grasping for every ounce of control while living with the uncontrollable. Of course, I was old enough to be out on my own, away from the influence of my mother and her cohorts before that little bit of Dr. Phil wisdom sunk in. By that time, my life was already set on the collision course my mother had been manipulating since my birth. By that time, I could already feel a tug towards my fate . . . my red thread . . . my Bella.

In the end, it had been three hundred and sixty seven days since I last saw her, one more day than necessary due to Caius' paranoia.

Five hundred twenty eight-thousand, four hundred and eighty minutes.

Thirty one million, seven hundred eight thousand, eight hundred seconds.

Every single one of them dragged infinitely during our time apart. Every day felt like a year, every week more like a decade. The only breaks from the agonizing emptiness in my chest were the few texts we were allowed to exchange. Ten texts per day, each more important than the last, the only communication allowed us for the past year. Caius was adamant that we not be anywhere near the other, that we barely communicate so as not to strengthen the gadái.

We didn't know until later how far he was really willing to go to keep us apart . . . forever.

"It's about four hours to Forks," Jasper said, fiddling with his phone as we walked toward the rental car. "We could stop for something to eat on the way. Maybe try to find a Waffle House."

I threw my bags into the trunk when Jasper opened it, the tension under my skin making my hands shake. A sit down meal, even with the guy who had become my most trusted friend, was simply not a possibility. Not when I could feel her energy, when the thread between us was pulled so damn taut.

"First, you have exactly three minutes to find a fast food place with a drive-thru before we get on the road," I said, my voice deeper and rougher than normal even to my own ears. Bella was close . . . closer than she'd been in over a year. I could literally feel our connection, dragging me westward, making it next to impossible to stand still any longer.

"Second," I said, stepping in front of him when he headed toward the driver's side of the car. "You're in the Pacific Northwest. I doubt there are Waffle Houses or Biscuit Worlds or Cracker Barrels all the way up here." I paused as a jet took off directly over us, the engine roaring with a fury matched only by the blood pounding through my veins.

"And third," I said once the sound of the jet faded. I held out my hand for the keys, grinning when I saw the confusion in his eyes. "I'm driving."

Jasper stared for an extended moment, probably feeling all the frustration and lust and anticipation rolling off my body in waves. Three hundred and sixty seven days was a fuck of a long time to be away from the woman you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, away from her love and her touch and her taste and her lips.

I was going to make up for every single solitary second . . . once I got his country ass in the car.

After what seemed like an hour, Jasper smirked and dropped the keys in my hand. "I almost feel sorry for sweet little Bella. Poor girl doesn't know what's coming."

I smiled as I slid into the driver's seat and started the engine.

"She knows."

.

.

.

There's something soothing about driving – the open road, the freedom to go off course if you choose – it always eased my mind and gave me time to think. And for the three hours and seventeen minutes it took me to drive from Seattle to Forks, every single thought centered on Bella.

Every mile that rolled under the wheels brought me that much closer to her, to everything I'd been missing for over a year. The smiles I loved more than I would ever admit, the way she sighed every time I grabbed her hand, how she always smelled like cookies. Even though I now knew the cookie smell was my gift latching onto hers, leeching it away from her, I still craved it.

The want I'd been feeling everyday for the past year had morphed into a desperate, aching need that rattled all the way down to my bones. Everything reminded me of her - the graceful arcs of pine branches made me think of the curve of her shoulder, the brown of their trunks a poor imitation of her eyes, the purple wildflowers a paler shade of the stripes in her hair.

I'd missed her an almost unbearable amount - and she had missed me just as much. I knew it, felt it. She was in pain because of our separation, but I was going to fix that in approximately four never-ending minutes.

"You're turning left at the next light, then it's a couple of blocks down," Jasper said as he typed on his phone. He smiled at the screen and licked his lip, then started typing again. There was no doubt in my mind who he was texting.

"How's Alice doing?" As much as I wanted to focus solely on Bella, I couldn't be that selfish. Jasper was doing me a huge favor by bringing me out here. Caius had refused to let Bella and me meet alone, and there was no way I wanted that prick James anywhere near me. I'd asked Jasper to accompany me, as much as I hated pulling him away from Alice when she was so close to the end of her pregnancy. I knew how hard a separation was for people in our . . . situations. The addition of a child into the mix made it that much more difficult. But Alice had stayed strong, encouraging Jasper when he said he was coming with me to this tiny town in the rain-soaked northwest corner of the country. And even though he would only be gone for twenty some hours, I felt ridiculously guilty for asking.

Finding the other half of my soul was something I would never regret, but it definitely made being apart extra painful.

"She's hanging in," he replied, looking out the passenger window. "Just impatient to see . . . Little Rose."

I could only grunt my response. This entire situation, this year of separation, had been hard on all of us. Jasper and Alice had acted as intermediaries - defying Caius by flying back and forth across the country, keeping Bella and I informed about the other as much as they could. It was because of Jasper I knew Bella had attended Rose's funeral in Texas, the only time she'd been allowed outside of Washington State. It was because of Jasper I knew just how much guilt Bella felt for her friend's death, for not realizing the fading scent surrounding her meant her very life was ebbing away. For not knowing the aneurysm was growing.

Alice had felt the guilt as well, had cried on my shoulder as she questioned her precognition. She'd wondered why she hadn't known Rose was in so much danger until it was too late. She and Jasper had taken off for a month after that, just disappeared together to grieve and come to grips with their loss. And while I had missed them and the connection to Bella they brought, I'd understood their need for privacy.

The time after Rose's death had been hard on everyone, but we all came through. As soon as Jasper and Alice found out their little peanut was going to be a girl, they chose to name her after his beloved sister as a way of honoring her memory. Esme and Carlisle had moved down to Caius' ranch to help take care of the business while Mrs. Whitlock moved up to be with her husband. I never met her, even though she lived on the same property as I did - Caius wouldn't risk the life of his wife, of her gift, by allowing her close to me. From what Jasper told me, her power of emotional manipulation was ridiculously strong.

Bella and I had texted and sent messages through our friends, supporting one another, grieving together while completely alone. We made it through the death, the guilt, the anger, and the loss as a unit, as a team. There was only one event that caused us to stop talking . . . only one subject that had managed to wedge itself between us, to separate us.

Children.

Or rather, the fact that we could never have any. Knowing we could never marry, never take those vows in front of our family and friends, was difficult enough for us to process. But we'd dealt with the knowledge together after Tanya had explained how the simple act of being married would awaken the curse once again. Her explanation, all gleaned from Emmett's notes and research, had finally made us understand exactly why they had chosen to handfast us . . . and why Caius demanded we stay apart for those three hundred and sixty seven days. When all was said and done, when any chance of ever marrying was officially taken off the table, Bella and I had dealt with the sadness and the loss of something neither of us had ever really had time to want.

But the day I texted her that we could never have kids - that I refused to risk my offspring's life the way mine had been risked, that the Masen curse would die with me - was the day that lead to a two week silence from my heart. Fourteen days - no texts, no messages through Jasper or Alice. Her final text before radio silence had ripped through my heart like a knife, leaving me desperate to comfort her.

**You've just taken something precious from me & my heart hurts. I need time to figure out where we go from here. ~B**

And then nothing for fourteen of the longest days of my very existence. I had raged and sobbed and begged, but Caius refused to let me go to her, wouldn't even allow me to call her. I had retreated to my room, vowing not to come out until she responded. But it wasn't a text from her that had broken my seclusion - hell it wasn't even her really. It was Alice. My cousin-turned-sister. She had opened my door one day and sat on the edge of my bed. Before I could even tell her to get out, she very quietly told me how hurt Bella was, how sad and heartbroken, how she was grieving the loss of children she would never know but had always somehow imagined being in her life, and how much she still loved me.

Then Alice told me how James had tried to take advantage of Bella's weakness, had promised her a life filled with vows and little feet, play dates and ballet recitals. How he offered himself to her . . . to give her that life.

And how Bella had broken his nose when he'd tried to kiss her.

Two hours later, Caius came into my room with my phone, seven texts from Bella lighting up the screen. Our grieving apparently over, we took advantage that day, using our allotted ten-per-day from the missed days to renew our love, to understand our loss together, and to reconnect to the most important person in each of our lives.

To recommit that nothing and no one would ever come between us.

"It's that little white house on the right," Jasper said, pointing out the window at a quaint Cape Cod style home as he interrupted my musings. It wasn't much - just a little starter home in a slightly shabby neighborhood - but it looked warm and inviting. It looked as if someone happy lived there, as if children would play in the yard, and a dog would bark at the people walking by.

It looked more like a home than anything I'd ever lived in.

I turned into the driveway but didn't move to put the car in park. I just stared at the porch, the windows, the flower boxes. This house looked like somewhere Bella and I could be happy. Away from the people who knew our secrets. We could move here, live here, grow old here . . . together. We could truly begin living here, in the house bequeathed to her.

The father she'd never known and his hurtful mother had just given us one of the greatest gifts imaginable - they'd given us a chance at a future together.

"You planning on stepping out of the car, man?" Jasper asked, his voice quiet. I licked my bottom lip and took a deep breath before putting the car in park. She was here - I could feel her inside that pretty little house. I could feel her anticipation, her nerves . . . her love. And as afraid as I was, as nervous about what could possibly happen if the gadái was able to take control of us again, I knew I needed to see her.

I took a deep breath and unlatched my seat belt. "Yeah. I just-"

I didn't get to finish my sentence, couldn't even finish the thought, because in that moment, the most beautiful woman in the world threw open the green front door and stepped out onto the porch. Our eyes met, and the rest of the world disappeared. All there was, all that existed, was her, me, and a fuckton of static in the air between us. Power flowed over me, rippling like a tidal pool as the waters receded. The gifts the gadái had come into contact with before our separation came barreling through our connection - empathy, truth auras, precognition, telekinesis. They washed over me, diving into the deepest parts of my psyche, looking for anything to grab hold of. I struggled against the onslaught, fighting off the invasion as I continued to stare at my girl.

She looked tired but beautiful. Her hair was longer, her clothes looser as if she'd lost weight, but her eyes were bright and her smile was breathtaking. By the look on her face, she didn't feel the gadái the way I did, and for that I was glad. I would take this burden on for her. I would happily battle against the power trying to consume me every day for the rest of my life if it meant I could spend those days with her . . . if I could see that smile on her face every morning and know I put it there.

I'd never lose the power the Masen lineage gave me - knew this 'gift' would be with me forever. Caius had tried to convince me to leave Bella because of it - because he knew the threat of the gadái taking over would always be there. But I was too selfish. I wanted her with me, in my life, every day of our forever. I just had to be stronger than the gadái. And so for one year and one day I worked to control the various gifts that tried to overpower my will. I struggled and strained, fought and grappled in my own private hell. Some days I lost - fuck, most days I lost - but in the end, when I was boarding that plane with Jasper to take me to the woman who made every battle worthwhile, I knew I would win.

I had to win. Bella's life was much too precious to risk.

The next thing I knew, I was stepping onto her painted porch, the electricity between us sparking and crackling in the air. I didn't remember getting out of the car or walking across the lawn, couldn't recall anything other than her face, her eyes, her smile, and the overwhelming desire I had to just fall into her and never come back out. She was my world, my everything.

And she was only a foot away from me.

The gadái gave one final push at the walls I'd erected around my mind, but I refused to drop them. No matter how hard it tried, no matter how many times it attempted to needle its way in, I wouldn't allow it. I would win. I had to. Bella had faith in me - faith that I could handle this, that we could handle it. I couldn't let her down. So with my own faith stretched so thin there were holes in my very soul, I gave the gadái one final mental shove.

And as the power faded, as the gadái lost its hold on me and retreated to the darkest corners of my mind to await another battle, my mother's power of precognition gave me one final gift . . . one last enticement. Scenes from mine and Bella's future together rolled through my head - laughing on the couch, planting a little garden on a sunny day, passing papers back and forth across a kitchen table. Nothing profound, but those moments were perfect - comfortable and happy. They were everything I wanted with her. But if I gave into the power trying to seduce me, those moments would disappear. I just had to resist the temptation of knowing . . .

"Hi," she said, her voice so soft and sweet as it interrupted my inner confrontation. I inhaled deeply and grinned, basking in the scent of cookies and home that surrounded her, surrounded us. I shifted closer, leaving barely an inch between us. I could almost feel the heat of her burning me, setting me aflame. Every inch of my body was stiff and pulsing, demanding contact . . . needing to touch her, feel her, taste her . . . but that would all have to wait. Three hundred and sixty seven days was a long time, and right now, I needed to remind her of how we could be, what we meant to one another . . . the depth and strength of our relationship. The pure power that could come from our love. The physical stuff, the licking and biting and stroking and touching, would all come later.

"Hi." I was grinning like a damn teenager picking up his high school prom date, but I couldn't help myself. She was beautiful, she was amazing, and she was standing right the fuck in front of me for the first time in over a year. And somewhere deep down I knew that moment, those first hi's and smiles, would forever be remembered between the two of us as the beginning of our life together. Not the night in Trion, not the carnival or the carnie camp . . . but a little white house with a green door and flowerboxes under the windows. This was our true beginning. This was our future.

This was our start. No doubts.

"So there's a little carnival over by the hardware store," I murmured, never moving my eyes away from hers. I smiled wider as she exhaled a shaky breath, knowing with one hundred percent certainty that she felt the exact same sense of completion that I did. Our threads were finally woven together, two becoming one, stronger than the sum of its parts. Shifting forward, I closed that last step, tangling my fingers with hers as she smiled up at me with a look filled with love and devotion.

"C'mon, Bella. Lemme buy you a funnel cake."

.

.

.

_an deireadh_

.

.

.

* * *

**How did you come up with the idea for this story?**

This entire journey began when I drove past a little grass lot by a church that had just hosted a carnival. The tire tracks from the carnies' trailers got me thinking . . . and then 'We Run' by Sugarland came on my iPod, and the relationship between Esme and Edward was born. The rest developed over time.

**Will there be a sequel?**

Nope, though I talk a lot about writing the Renee/Phil love story. Maybe someday…


End file.
